The Sky
by Hic iacet Mori
Summary: Uchiha Sasuke dreams of the sky. After ten years, he begins to dream with the sun as the shadows in his memories begin appearing with startling clarity—and everything seems connected to this stranger who returned with covered eyes he longs to see.
1. Prologue

**The Sky**

_by Hic Iacet Mori_

* * *

**Prologue**

After years of dreaming of tears and blood, Uchiha Sasuke dreams of the sky.

It began ten years ago after he woke up from a coma. Four years as a missing nin of Konoha ended the fateful day he stepped over the gates of his home village—four years as a traitor reached its pinnacle with the death of his brother by his hands, the brother who loved him enough to sacrifice everything for peace and for him. It was a belated discovery that shattered everything he had believed in, leaving him far more broken than he already was. His emotions burning and wild within him, he sought to avenge his brother—something the man professing to be his blood relative took advantage of. But though he was young, shinobi learn faster, grow wiser—they stumble deeper but stand taller. He knew what the man was doing, understood it and played along as his homage to his brother. After a battle that finally led to the death of the man who was everything his beloved brother never was, he had no more reason left to live.

He raised his sword to end it all and, as his eyes traveled the length of the crimson blade, his eyes saw the sky.

And he stopped.

His sword clattered and he just knew—

After four years, he went home.

* * *

He was tried and found guilty of treason. However, the death of the enemies of Konohagakure no Sato by his hands considerably worked in his favor and lightened his punishment—that, coupled with the Godaime Hokage's knowledge of the true story behind the Uchiha Massacre, contributed to it.

He only told everything to Senju Tsunade. He expected disbelief, even mockery, but she had believed him. She had understood and kept it hidden from the council that he _knew._ He recognized that he didn't deserve this kindness, this consideration and respect, and so he vowed with everything he had that he would protect the Hokage and the office it represented with his life.

The first year of his life as a convict of Konohagakure was tedious. After completing the requisite number of low-ranked missions as a part of his punishment, after enduring the humiliation of guardians 24/7, after tolerating chakra restraints of all kinds, he easily climbed the ranks and—less than three years later—became ANBU captain of his own squad.

Slowly and after many years, he was accepted by the people who somewhat mattered, something that went far above his expectations. He had worked hard and had shown his loyalty, and he was soon completely pardoned of all his crimes. He was forgiven by the villagers but not entirely so by his peers.

They who knew of most of what transpired found it hard to, and they surely wouldn't forget. But time heals all wounds and turns them into scars—and then there was the sky.

For some reason the sky was reminiscent of forgiveness, and one day his comrades allowed themselves to forgive. One day everything was just the same as it was before he willingly embraced the world of tears and blood.

But not entirely so. Nothing can ever come back to what it was before, after all.

* * *

He dreams of the sky.

Sometimes the sky was a light blue with puffs of white clouds. Sometimes the sky was an expansive gray with hints of dark, dark blue. Sometimes the sky was almost white with hesitant brushes of blue. Sometimes the sky was all gray.

And sometimes the sky was a clear, cloudless, impossible _blue_.

When the sky was in its vivid blue, he knew he would have a better day ahead of him.

* * *

His dreams of the sky always leave him with an odd pang in his heart.

His dark gaze would follow his hand as he tried to reach the ceiling, trying to grasp the sky of his dreams in vain. There would be searing _heat_ in his stomach and _ice_ would suddenly chase it away, and his sight would blur.

And a wisp of smoke would curl at the far recesses of his consciousness, wondering why the sun was never there.

* * *

It was always the sky, the sky—and after ten years, he still couldn't understand why the sky made him feel content and empty at the same time.

Because with his wealth, his prestige, his power, his fame—

He couldn't reach the sky.

* * *

After many years, Uchiha Sasuke finally woke up.

The sky is in his eyes.


	2. Chapter 1

**The Sky  
**

_by Hic Iacet Mori_

* * *

**Chapter 1**

He may be one of the finest, if not _the_ finest, ANBU captain in the history of Konohagakure no Sato, but Uchiha Sasuke preferred solo missions over team missions.

That is not to say that his teamwork was flawed—it was impeccable, the closest to perfection the ANBU ever witnessed. Proof of the matter was the fact that most of his subordinates the first time he took a squad under his wings were still his subordinates, with the exception of four at various years who had moved on to become ANBU captains of their own squads. To be under Uchiha Sasuke's leadership was a guarantee of longevity, a life lived long enough to serve the Hokage for more years than expected—impressive, needless to say, as an ANBU was only expected to have a lifespan of two to three years.

Still, Sasuke—calm, silent, _introvert_—preferred solo missions over team missions.

It was after a particularly long and grueling solo mission that the last Uchiha returned to Konoha nearly undetected. There was no need for haste but Sasuke wished to rest—a flare of chakra and hand seals later found him before the doors of the Hokage's office. Detecting a familiar chakra signature behind the doors, he remained standing, waiting patiently for the Hokage's audience to finish so he can go in.

Minutes later and Eagle exited the door. Sasuke didn't acknowledge his fellow captain, a non-acknowledgment returned by the other. He closed the heavy doors behind him and stood before his leader, waiting.

The woman raised a blonde eyebrow, amber eyes expressing patience and muted interest. She squeezed the ridge of her nose with pale, slim fingers and inclined her head, blonde hair spilling over a shoulder as pigtails bobbed along with the motion.

Sasuke handed the scroll containing his mission report. Tsunade opened the scroll and read with an almost uninterested glaze in her weary eyes. Gold-flecked brown eyes widened almost imperceptibly by the end of the report, an action was caught by Sasuke's acute dark eyes.

Tsunade leaned back on her chair and exhaled. She raised a hand and rubbed her right temple, almost forgetting the man standing before her. Her eyes held a faraway expression and Sasuke suddenly realized, though he and everyone knew all along, that the Godaima Hokage was _old_. Her henge remained as youthful as ever, yet there was a palpable aura of melancholy surrounding her and she appeared older than she physically looked like.

"Uchiha."

Addressed by his name, Sasuke removed his mask.

Silky, sable hair framed a handsome—_beautiful_—face with high cheekbones and midnight-dark eyes, flawless features showing an air of nobility emphasized by an aristocratic nose and pink, almost feminine lips. Uchiha Sasuke was always a sight to behold, a flesh-and-blood statue that was never tiring to gaze at and only gets more beautiful with deeper inspection and understanding. But for all his inherited dainty visage, he was a cold and calculating killing machine.

The standard ANBU uniform of silver and black did nothing to hide his lean musculature—Sasuke was a lion in strength and grace, all fury and fire in action. Everyone of Konoha awaited the one who could tame the ironically impassive Uchiha, and every single female—with an exception of a level-headed few who had grown up and _learned_—wished to be the one to melt the ice the man encased himself within.

Only a rare few knew that the sun had melted the ice a long time ago.

And only fewer knew that he was not ice, but fire—all burning passion and blazing ardor kept under cold control, in need of another flame to set him free.

"You have a mission tomorrow with ANBU Squad 7," Tsunade said. She raised her eyes. "However, I'm placing Squad 7 under a new captain in light of recent developments."

She closed her eyes briefly and went back to the mission report, "Meeting tomorrow at 9 am. Dismissed."

"Hai, Hokage-sama."

* * *

As the only occupant of the place, Sasuke's home in the Uchiha estate was hardly lived-in. Missions took days and sometimes months to complete, and when he had time for rest, he was rarely home at all.

Sasuke was an early riser. He was up before the sun, and after a bath and a brush of teeth, he was out and into the training grounds of his former genin cell. He finished his early-morning training three hours later, and if it wasn't for the incessant rumbling of his stomach, Sasuke would have neglected to remember that he didn't have breakfast and that contrary to popular opinion, he was still human with basic human needs after all.

He went back home to freshen up for his meeting with the Hokage. Opening the refrigerator and his cupboards was a futile exercise—there was nothing to eat at all. Shrugging, he decided to eat after the meeting instead.

En route to the ANBU headquarters, he stopped by a familiar establishment. Ichiraku had grown the past years—it was not merely a stand anymore. Adjacent to the stand itself was a restaurant for those who prefer a more comfortable spot, though there were the nostalgic few who preferred the stand itself. Sasuke was not one for nostalgia nor did he particularly favor ramen, yet there were instances when he would feel a tug deep within him that urged him to drop by for a bowl.

Sasuke couldn't call it craving. He remembered, though, a childhood where he was dragged here by a teammate with a crazy obsession for the rubbish, and he remembered these moments as one of his fondest memories. Though for the life of him, he couldn't understand why.

It seemed to be one of those random odd times, as he had come to call it over the years, where he had the urge to do something he never really did. Like standing over the bridge when there wasn't anyone to wait for. Or feeling his lips tug upward at the sight of orange, of all color. Or sitting at the carved head of the Yondaime Hokage.

Or gazing up at the clear blue skies, trying in vain to stare at the sun and, though knowing that it was an impossible feat, would still try again anyway and end up sighing.

Sasuke found himself slipping under the overhang and settling on his spot. As he sat on the stool, he realized there was someone sitting beside him, already engaged in the unhealthy non-meal. Sasuke caught Teuchi's eyes and nodded—there was no need for words. For the past ten years, whenever he dropped by Ichiraku, his order remained—

"One miso ramen please!"

He was startled from his thoughts as the person beside him ordered, it seemed, again. The counter before the stranger already held four empty bowls, and that this stranger seemed to have a bottomless altar for ramen was something Sasuke found disgusting and, oddly, comforting.

He took quick glances from the corner of his eyes. The only thing he could see was that the person was wrapped entirely in a cloak of black, the hood effectively covering the face with only full lips visible to the world. The only thing Sasuke could deduce was that this person—he couldn't even call it a he or she, especially with a voice that was neither high-pitched enough for a female nor low-pitched enough for a male—was _extremely _fond of miso ramen.

The attire was questionable enough but Sasuke wasn't one to question a person's fashion preference. He had, at one time, used a thick purple rope as a bow-belt of sorts, after all. He couldn't, however, rid of the feeling that something was—not right. _Different_, with the person.

He decided to mull over this later when Teuchi appeared with two bowls of miso ramen, one for Sasuke and one for the stranger. Still, he kept sneaking glances, watching as the person inhaled the noodles and finished even before he himself was halfway done.

The stranger slapped some bills over the counter and grinned, white teeth flashing brightly under the darkness of the hood. It was barely a minute after the stranger left that Sasuke stood up, finally realizing what he had been missing.

He hadn't detected any chakra from the stranger _at all_.

Sasuke hurriedly left some coins and stood up, jumping to the roof of the restaurant. Every living creature had chakra, varying only in degrees. A civilian's chakra was of course weaker than a shinobi's but it was easier to delineate. The stranger, however, had no detectable chakra at all. _Nothing. _Which meant that whoever the person was, he or she was powerful enough to completely mask his or her chakra.

And from Uchiha Sasuke, no less.

Even the most powerful shinobi could not mask his chakra signature that completely. In a battle, he could only be invisible to intruders by giving off weak chakra, therefore pretending to be a part of the ecosystem, or even feigning that of an innocent civilian. To mask a shinobi's chakra meant to have his chakra appear so much weaker as to be nigh undetectable.

Owing to this, the stranger, whoever he or she was, seemed to have vanished from the world altogether.

Sasuke inwardly cursed himself. He was one of the most powerful ANBU of Konoha and he had allowed a person of questionable presence and intent to escape under his nose. Sasuke teleported inside the ANBU headquarters mere seconds later, exchanging his jounin attire for his full ANBU uniform, alerting the entire ANBU of a person cloaked in black with orders of capture on sight. A quick report taken from the chuunin guards showed that no such person had passed by the gates that morning, serving to amplify the severity of the lapse in security.

Whoever that was, he or she wasn't supposed to be in the village at all.

Putting on his mask, Sasuke teleported to the Hokage's office.

* * *

He was surprised to see Eagle inside the office. Sasuke wasn't aware that there would be someone else, though that in itself wasn't what surprised him. What surprised him was the fact that the Hokage was meeting with the two most powerful captains of ANBU—alone.

"Ookami-taichou?" Tsunade asked without preamble.

Sasuke slightly bowed. "A stranger roams Konoha without any detectable chakra."

Eagle turned to him in and Tsunade raised an eyebrow. "And?"

"The stranger disappeared seventeen seconds after the last sighting."

"No traces of chakra used at all?" Sasuke's fellow captain inquired.

"None."

Tsunade raised a hand to rub her temple, muttering inaudible words under her breath. She exhaled and raised a pair of weary amber eyes to her two captains. "I'm leaving that to ANBU. I have a mission for the both of you."

Sasuke raised an eyebrow from behind his mask. A mission? For two ANBU captains?

"I want you to find a certain person," Tsunade said. She closed her eyes. "It's been so long," she murmured. "I'm getting too old for this."

"Who is it, Hokage-sama?" Eagle asked.

The Hokage leaned on her chair and opened her eyes. "My successor."

Sasuke straightened up. Her successor? The future Rokudaime?

"You mean—" Eagle started before he was cut off.

Billowing black sleeves wrapped around Tsunade as her amber eyes widened, a hooded figure suddenly appearing hunched behind her chair.

"Me?"


	3. Chapter 2

**The Sky  
**

_by Hic Iacet Mori_

* * *

**Chapter 2**

Three things happened simultaneously.

Tsunade's hand shot up and gripped the arms wrapped around her, her amber eyes wide and glimmering.

Eagle tore off his mask, revealing a pale, handsome face that was oddly flushed, his usually expressionless features expressing shock as his pale, almost lavender eyes dilated with bewilderment.

Wolf flashed behind the cloaked intruder, chokuto pointed at the stranger's supposed jugular, voice chilling as he broke the short yet suffocating silence.

"Release our leader," he intoned, his words laced with promised pain. Sasuke stiffened when he felt a sharpness on his neck. A strange shiver raced up and down his spine as warmth brushed against his ear.

"Hmm?"

He felt his throat constrict with something unidentifiable—behind his mask, Sasuke was feeling a panic unlike he ever felt before. For some reason his mind was suddenly whirling with chaos, of words and pictures and sounds and smells, and he couldn't pull a single coherent thought and _he couldn't breathe_—

"Ookami, stand down," Tsunade murmured, a tremor barely audible in her lowered voice.

The voice broke through and Sasuke hesitated a moment before dropping his arm. The kunai on his neck lifted and he heard a distinct popping sound, announcing to everyone that it had been a clone. He glared at the stranger from behind his mask, refusing to budge from his spot while he quietly forced air into his lungs.

"Is this the stranger, Ookami?" the Hokage asked, her voice calm.

"Aa, Hokage-sama," he replied. The intruder's arms were still wrapped around the Sannin, and it was only then that he saw their leader was _holding_ _down_ those arms. His sharp eyes caught the Hokage's white hands squeeze those arms gently, almost… comforting.

Eagle, who had removed his mask already, bowed and disappeared, returning barely a minute later.

"Ookami-taichou, I know this person," Tsunade said wearily, finally noticing that the younger captain was still hovering around them. Reluctantly, Sasuke returned to where he previously stood.

"Well, it looks like your mission is canceled," she said with a small, nebulous smile. Sasuke watched as the smile of the Legendary Sucker widened tremulously, as if she was about to burst into tears if not for her strong grasp for control. The sleeved arms around her began to unwind and her hands tightened reflexively, as if Tsunade—Last Living Sannin of their generation, Godaime Hokage—was afraid—_terrified—_that the stranger behind her would vanish and everything would just have been an illusion.

"Baa-chan," the stranger said, reassuring the woman, "I won't be leaving any time soon."

Sasuke heard a sharp intake of air beside him, and he glanced at his fellow captain who looked paler than he had ever been. The words were a confirmation to what the man had suspected—hoped—earlier.

The sun was back.

The stranger raised a hooded head, hearing the gasp. Before Sasuke could comprehend what had happened, the person had appeared next to them, embracing the stoic male beside him.

"Damned long time, Neji," came the low murmur, "Knew you'd be ANBU."

"Naruto," was all Hyuuga Neji could say. His arms wrapped around the cloaked figure as his eyes slipped shut, an expression that Sasuke could only call _affectionate_ appearing on his features.

Sasuke felt an odd tightening in his chest as he watched from the safety of his mask, glaring at the stranger with sudden, intense hatred. It was irrational but Sasuke hated whoever that was—hating the person for arriving, hating the person for making him react strangely, making him feel peculiar emotions—making him _feel_—after such a short moment, after a long, long time.

The only times he felt were when he dreamed of the blue, blue sky.

_And this—feeling_—

"Uchiha."

—_what am I missing?_

Sasuke straightened up and removed his mask. The Hokage was watching him with an indecipherable expression, a gleam in her tear-softened eyes.

"Hyuuga."

Reluctantly, Neji released the dark bundle in his arms and straightened beside Sasuke. A blink and the new arrival was standing beside Tsunade again, as if the person had never left at all.

Tsunade stood up and gently placed a hand on the figure, who stood a few inches taller than her. As if understanding, the person raised an arm and dropped the hood that effectively covered the face. Sasuke restrained the gasp that almost escaped his lips.

A tan, oval-shaped face with perfect cheekbones was framed by long, golden hair as bright as the sun itself spilling inside the cloak. Three curious, claw-like scars graced both cheeks that strangely only lent the person an exotic air. Full red lips curved in a smile, innocent in its childlike softness.

Sasuke felt dazed as he studied the person's features, but what caught his attention was the Konoha hitai'ate over where the eyes should be, blocking the windows of the soul as if to protect the person's—_her—_innermost thoughts from the world.

Eyes as clear as skies flashed in his mind.

_Where did that come from?_

Suddenly aware that he was staring, Sasuke forcefully wrenched his eyes away from her and briefly closed his. As an ANBU captain of Konoha, he had traveled various distances and had met men and women who could be called the most beautiful creatures of the world. But this person... he just knew—

Blue eyes glowed in his mind.

—this stranger was beautiful beyond what he could begin to imagine.

_Is she blind?_

"Gaki," Tsunade said, affection apparent in her voice. "I was just about to order a manhunt for you."

The blonde scratched her head. "Felt it was time to return, Baa-chan. Plus," her tone lowered. "stuffs are happening."

Tsunade nodded in understanding then turned to her two strongest captains. Her eyes landed on Sasuke far longer than he thought was necessary, and he caught her eyes flicker briefly to the other blonde in the room.

As if realizing something, said person chuckled. "Ah, I'm just too rude. Uzumaki Naruto. Nice to meet you—Uchiha Sasuke."

Sasuke's dark eyes registered surprise, though his face was, as usual, impassive. _Naruto? That's a masculine name. Isn't it?_

More importantly—_how did she know me?_

Naruto bowed. "Don't be surprised, Uchiha-san. You are well-known as the last Uchiha, after all."

Somehow, this statement brought more questions to his mind. Could Uzumaki Naruto see past metals? How else would she identify him as an Uchiha? She _could_ have felt for his chakra signature, but that would mean they have met _before_ for her to remember it—yet Sasuke, with his phenomenal memory, couldn't recall meeting someone like her, and he was absolutely certain he would have remembered her.

Lastly—

_Why does it feel like_—_I should have known her?_

"But Baa-chan!" his thoughts interrupted, he looked up, "I don't need babysitters!"

"An ANBU captain could hardly be called a babysitter, Naruto," Neji said, tone hinting of amusement. Sasuke hadn't thought Hyuuga was capable of amusement.

The young blonde stuck out a tongue. "Screw you, Neji." The man merely chuckled at the unintended pun. "Anyway, I got in without anyone knowing I'm here, Tsunade-baa. I wouldn't exactly feel safe after _that_."

The words were spoken in a teasing manner but Sasuke felt himself flare up, slighted. He was ready to retort but Neji beat him to it.

"I knew you won't let me live that down," Neji said, shaking his head with a slight tilt of his lips.

"Damn straight!" she replied cheekily, giving a thumbs-up. Tsunade, who had returned to her seat, rolled her eyes at the childish action. Neji gave a full-blown, actual smile.

Quick as a flash, Naruto was touching the older ANBU's shoulders. "You're smiling," she announced, her voice strangely melancholic. "I could feel it. So rare, makes me wanna see."

"You can, if you want to," Neji replied softly, in a gentle voice Sasuke had never heard from the aloof prodigy before. He felt a strange tightening in his throat, a feeling of utter wrongness screaming at the back of his mind.

Why did he feel like an outsider?

He clenched his jaw, tearing his eyes away from the intimate scene. His midnight gaze caught amber eyes studying him. Sasuke couldn't suppress the thought that the Hokage was waiting for him.

_Waiting for what?_

From the corner of his eyes, he spied the blonde shake her head and step back. Neji's words replayed in his mind.

_She's not blind? Why would she choose not to see, then?_

A mysterious silence had settled in the office. Tsunade decided to continue where she left off. "You'd have to get used to ANBU following you around, Naruto," she said. "As Rokudaime, a squad would always be around you. So would your personal guard. And the ANBU Commander, if necessary."

The younger blonde huffed, blowing golden bangs away from her face. "Yare, yare. But I'm not formally Rokudaime yet so I don't need them trailing after me. I'm sure they'd prefer to do missions than hang all over me."

"I don't mind, Naruto," Neji countered evenly. "I planned to request for vacation after we find you, after all."

"Neji." Sasuke felt there would be a pointed glare along with the deceptively sweet smile, if her eyes were visible. "Friends help each other and you're not _helping_."

"Washi-taichou, I'm granting your request for vacation," Tsunade announced smugly.

"Old hag!"

"I request a vacation as well, Hokage-sama," Sasuke said calmly. Two pairs of eyes turned to him in surprise. He ignored the bitterness that kept rising steadily within him since he witnessed that interaction between his fellow captain and the strange woman—ignored the mysterious voice that kept entertaining strange ideas at the back of his mind—ignored the irrational panic that crept up when his mind's eye sighted gray skies instead of blue—ignored all and focused, instead, on his leader who watched him once more with that strange amalgam of unfathomable emotions in her eyes.

Tension thrummed in his body and Sasuke suddenly felt tired.

It wasn't even noon yet.

"Very well, Ookami-taichou," Tsunade replied. He silently released the breath he didn't know he was holding and bowed to show his gratitude.

"Hyuuga," she continued. "Vacation notwithstanding, please watch over Naruto."

"That's my plan, Hokage-sama," Neji replied with a little smile. "If Naruto doesn't mind, that is."

Scarred cheeks puffed childishly. "Che, bastard. Like I can have any say at all after that. Stop teasing!"

Sasuke clenched his teeth against the sharp pain that suddenly blossomed in his head. Tsunade's head shot up.

"Anything wrong?"

"Nothing, Hokage-sama," he replied, squaring his jaw. The Hokage studied him for a moment, and then nodded slowly.

"Both of you, dismissed."

Sasuke looked up and caught his fellow captain regarding him with an impassive expression, but not before he captured a foreign emotion in the older man's cold pale eyes. Neji made his way to the door, pausing slightly.

"I'll wait for you outside, Naruto."

"Hai, hai, Hyuuga-_sama_."

Sasuke stepped around, passing him. Feeling Neji's eyes on him, Sasuke looked back with blank, obsidian eyes.

"Join us, Uchiha."

Sasuke was annoyed at the apparent command but decided not to act on it, his expression not giving away his thoughts. He merely raised a shoulder in his version of a shrug, a sign of his unenthusiastic acquiescence.

Maybe coming with them would answer the questions in his mind. Starting with the reason for what he saw in Hyuuga Neji's eyes.

Pity.


	4. Chapter 3

**The Sky**

_by Hic Iacet Mori_

* * *

**Chapter 3**

By tacit agreement, both captains went back to their headquarters to change into less-threatening, more approachable attires—Sasuke slipped back into his jounin uniform while Neji donned his white and gray clan robes. Believing that Naruto's meeting with the Hokage would evolve into a reunion of sorts, Neji—and Sasuke, with _forced_ agreement—decided to stay there, to return to the Hokage's office after an hour had elapsed. Hopefully, Naruto would be free by then.

Sasuke sat on a couch across the other one where said Hyuuga sat. They were the only people in the lounge and while silence normally didn't bother him, he found himself feeling a bit uneasy. It didn't help that Neji was openly staring at him with his usual inscrutable expression.

Annoyed, he pointedly stared back. He was surprised when Neji chuckled lightly.

"Ignore me, Uchiha. I was simply thinking of something... remarkable."

Sasuke didn't like the pause in the other captain's words. It felt as if the man was mocking him.

"Care to enlighten me, Hyuuga?"

Neji gave him a long look. "I'm afraid I rather not. It would be—" white eyes bore into his coal-black ones. "—futile."

Sasuke's eyes narrowed. Though he never hated him, Sasuke never really liked the older shinobi and as far as he knew, the feeling was mutual. However, he was beginning to think that he might have hated Hyuuga Neji, after all.

"Try me."

Neji ignored him in favor of leaning back into his seat. A tense silence hung over them, with the naturally impatient younger man growing more and more impatient by the second.

"Uzumaki Naruto left Konoha ten years ago," Hyuuga Neji said out of nowhere, as if he was merely thinking out loud. He slowly straightened up, his hands resting on his lap. "When Naruto vanished, a law was passed that no one can mention that name." He glanced at his younger colleague, whose brows had furrowed. "With Naruto back, the law is now irrelevant. I wonder, though—"

Sasuke raised an eyebrow, waiting for Neji to continue. When his fellow captain remained quiet—to his frustration—Sasuke leaned back on his seat, his mind replaying Hyuuga's words.

_A law that no one can mention her name?_ His mind echoed. _Why? And why haven't I heard of this before?_

"Why?" Sasuke asked. When he was met with a blank stare, he repeated, impatient. "Why was the law passed?"

Neji studied him thoughtfully, and the feeling that Sasuke was missing something important came back to him with overwhelming force.

"It was his wish."

_His__ wish?_

Sasuke resisted the urge to bash the other captain's head in. "_Whose_ wish?"

Neji internally shook his head—it figured that only things related to this person would cause Uchiha to discard his usual apathy.

"His."

Even if he didn't know—understand—why.

With an answer like that, Sasuke was ready to tear Hyuuga apart. Clenching his fists tightly, he watched as Neji retreated back to his own thoughts, knowing he won't be receiving any answers soon. In fact, more questions appeared in the last Uchiha's mind. Like who was _this_ guy important enough to wish a law into effect.

_And why would this man not want anyone to mention that name, Naruto? Isn't she the Rokudaime?_

There was no doubt in Sasuke's mind that she would be the Rokudaime—Tsunade had practically declared it, after all, only formality was required. Still, that didn't answer any question. Rather, it brought more.

For instance, why didn't he know about that law?

_Does Sakura know?_

A voice in the back of his head said she probably did. If so, why wasn't he informed?

_Maybe it's already in effect, while I was in coma._

It would make sense—but it didn't stack up.

"I thought you're waiting outside!" a voice shouted indignantly, shattering the ear-splitting silence.

Sasuke's head shot up, kunai in his hand and his heart beating fast as adrenaline flooded him. Before him the blonde enigma Uzumaki Naruto straddled the stunned, wide-eyed Hyuuga captain whose Byakugan had activated on reflex. Dark sleeves slid down a notch, revealing fingerless-gloved hands clutching the esteemed shinobi by the collar of his off-white robe.

"H-H-How did you get here?" Neji spluttered, face whiter than humanly possible.

"Sugoi, that's a mean Hinata!" Naruto exclaimed cheerily. "And I'm telling how you're mocking her behind her back." Her grip loosened and Neji took the opportunity to fix his garb and deactivate his kekkei genkai and breathe—Naruto's grip had been strong.

Neji cleared his throat and trained impassive eyes on the blonde on his lap. "How did you get in? We're not supposed to be seen."

"That's funny, Neji," Naruto answered sarcastically. "_Seen._ Right."

"Naruto."

"Mou," she pouted, before breaking into a mischievous smile. "I used to do fun stuff here. ANBU are such a bunch of tight-ass bastards and they need a bit of light and joy once in a while."

"You played pranks on them," Neji deadpanned. The blonde straddling him raised her hand and rubbed her nose in a smug, boyish manner. Sasuke didn't know which bothered him more—that Uzumaki Naruto was a vulgar overgrown girl-child, or that neither of the two appeared to be bothered that they were in a compromising position.

—Of course, he wasn't bothered over the latter at all.

Neji shifted and patted the blonde head before him—Naruto's cheeks rounded childishly but she didn't make a move to bat the hand away. Acid curdled within Sasuke as he watched the clearly affectionate interaction between the two, loathing the feeling that he was, of all things, an intruder in this scene.

Half of his mind contemplated strangling Hyuuga with his hair for the fun of it—he had always rubbed Sasuke the wrong way, after all, and this could be an excellent opportunity. The other half of his mind just hated everything right now. All in all, he was more than irked that he was being ignored.

_Why do you care? You didn't care about attention before._

His eyes narrowed.

_Piss off._

"Happy now?" Naruto grumbled after a couple of minutes. Neji chuckled and the cloaked intruder jumped down, muttering about bastards who like to pat long-lost friends like some teeny-tiny _cute_ kit. "If I didn't like you so much I would have strangled you with your hair," she mumbled.

"Why can't I sense your chakra signature, Naruto?" Neji asked, a little smile lingering at her last words. The blonde standing before him cocked her head to the side, and Sasuke found it oddly endearing and familiar at the same time.

"Oh—!" she exclaimed after a moment. "Oh yeah—Ero-sennin was teaching me that before he, you know, croaked." A strange smile flitted over her features, as if she remembered an inside joke that wasn't really funny, and went on, a bit more serious. "I trained myself to mask it completely while traveling. Took me years. But maybe I shouldn't hide it now, eh?"

Suddenly, a very powerful chakra signature surged out from where she stood. Sasuke felt the hairs on the back of his neck raise, a frisson of excitement skittering up and down his spine. This chakra signature was unbelievable and promising—he hadn't sparred with anyone who could _completely _match his level, and maybe if he convinced her, maybe they could spar for a bit and maybe, Uzumaki would not go down as quickly as everyone else had—

A beat.

_Something's missing._

Another.

—_what's that supposed to mean?_

ANBU materialized around Naruto with unsheathed weapons trained at her neck.

"Geez, okay! Here, masking it again. See? _Nada._ Happy now?" she grumbled, waving her hands about. "ANBU are such paranoid tight-ass bastards… as if it's my fault it just came out like that… as if I did it on purpose," she muttered, "Just 'coz I can't get it out normal the first time—"

An ANBU whipped off his mask, incredulity apparent in a normally emotionless voice.

"_Naruto?_"

Her head turned sharply to the direction of the voice, mindless of the deadly weapons aimed at her neck. A sword tip grazed the tender skin, a long horizontal line of blood marring tan.

The sight upset Sasuke.

"Stand down," he snapped, eyes regarding all present ANBU with cold, black fire.

Weapons immediately sheathed with haste uncommon even for them, and Sasuke watched as a golden pair of eyebrows furrowed before recognition dawned.

"Sai!"

Neji nodded to the others. Dismissed, the ANBU disappeared with ill-concealed relief.

Sai remained.

"When did you come back, dickless?" he asked. Sasuke discovered to his annoyance that his irritating colleague was smiling—not his famously false ones, but a _genuine_ smile—and he, a little interested as he was to discover what brought this semblance of humanity, realized that this was the first time he ever saw Sai smiled.

Which didn't help in decreasing his aversion for the other ANBU since their introduction to each other.

_Dickless? That's a given already._

It was a bit of an embarrassing thought. Somehow.

"I was about to hug you, jackass." Naruto huffed. "Just this morning. Jerk."

Sai surprised the other captains in the room when he engulfed her in a warm, definitely emotional, embrace.

"Aw, you missed me that much?" she mocked, though she sounded pleased. "And you actually have _feelings_ now?"

"Only with you, Naruto-kun," Sai responded with his usual candor. Naruto stepped back and punched him playfully on his shoulder.

"If you'd cut on the penis jokes I'd totally love you, asshole."

Abruptly, Sasuke whirled and headed for the exit. They were wasting his time and he didn't want to stay any minute longer. He should have left after the Hokage dismissed him.

"Are you going to lunch?" Sai asked.

Neji nodded. "Hn."

"Wanna join?" Naruto motioned to the door.

"After I make my report," Sai replied. "We have a lot to discuss about, Naruto-kun."

Naruto nodded. Neji was already by the door, having successfully restrained the displeased Uchiha from leaving alone. She went after the two and they headed out of the ANBU headquarters, settling a little ways behind Sasuke, and began walking to who-knew-where.

And it was just noon. It was just noon and Sasuke had never felt so much in a few hours than he had for the past ten years combined. And somehow, he sensed inside him with increasing dread, he knew that more troubling things were yet to come.

He glanced up and, against himself, his steel-black eyes softened.

The sky was a clear, cloudless blue.


	5. Chapter 4

**The Sky**

_by Hic Iacet Mori_

* * *

**Chapter 4**

Uzumaki Naruto was a chatterbox.

At least she wasn't as shrill as most females, Sasuke grudgingly conceded. And she wasn't clingy. She wasn't even remotely feminine as far as he was concerned—she was simply loud, though he suspected she wasn't as loud as she probably used to be. She was always moving, always intruding, always there. Unusually hyper and, oddly enough, the blonde's posturing and exclamations reminded him of Inuzuka Kiba. Of all people.

_Except Inuzuka couldn't brighten up a place._

"How's Tenten?" he heard her ask, her arms folded behind her head. So unfeminine.

"She is well. She quit ANBU seven years ago," Neji answered. "She's currently a jounin-sensei."

"So soon?" Naruto asked, perplexed. "I thought she's a perfect fit, all that fetish for sharp weapons and explosions."

"Well," Neji turned away. Sasuke raised an eyebrow, knowing his own reaction couldn't be seen, at the other's reaction. "She married three years after you left."

Naruto nodded. "Ah, I see. So her suitor-in-denial finally got the courage to ask her. What else?" she prompted. Sasuke imagined that her eyes, had they been visible, would be shining mischievously with the way she grinned.

They would probably be as bright as her hair.

"She delivered our second daughter six months past. After our first daughter—and our three sons."

Sasuke thought that the blonde girl-woman would be saddened to hear that—they looked extremely close, after all, perhaps she felt something more—instead, he heard laughter ring out of her. "Neji, you dog! Wearing out Tenten like _that__!_" Naruto shrieked, near hysterical. "I'm surprised she hadn't _fixed_ you yet. Didn't know the great Hyuuga Neji had an equally great libido. Poor Tenten!"

Neji's eyebrows were twitching uncontrollably as he glowered.

"Hn."

"Or did she fix you _already_?"

"_Hn._"

Against his better judgment, Sasuke found himself amused to see the tips of Hyuuga's ears glowing a hot—almost neon—pink. He was equally surprised, though, at the not-so-subtle innuendos—Sasuke was fast learning that subtlety was _not_ Uzumaki Naruto.

If he were beside them right now, he wouldn't be surprised to see his fellow captain making a perfect imitation of a tomato. He had never in his life imagined Hyuuga capable of _blushing_, and Naruto was still clutching her stomach, laughing for all its worth as her finger pointed at the older captain's mortified and murderous expression.

_I like her laugh._

He flinched at the sudden thought. Yet it was true—he liked her laughter. It was unbridled, unself-conscious, no hand over her mouth or forced control of volume—just abandoned, carefree, pure exhalation of loud, musical bursts of air. He wouldn't mind hearing it again.

And so would some villagers, it seemed. Sasuke had noticed not a few people staring at them, and though he was used to being stared at, he felt this was something entirely different. Many were smiling, with a few trying to politely cover their laughter after seeing the spectacle of a blushing Hyuuga. Some had paused with what they were doing just to watch and listen to the delighted laughter of someone they had never thought to see again, though there were those who were giving looks that didn't appear pleasant at all.

As they rounded a corner, Sasuke could hear snatches of whispered conversations.

_"—is back! It's not safe anymore!"_

_"Are you even sure it's the same?"_

_"The marks are there. It's got to be that. Hell, is the demon looking?"_

Sasuke couldn't understand most of what was being whispered about, but he understood hatred and disgust.

And they were aimed at the blonde before him.

_"With that over the eyes? But you never know. The monster could still probably see."_

_"Maybe they're bringing it to a cell."_

_"Of course they wouldn't! The demon's their friend. Hurry up or you might get infected with whatever that thing has!"_

_"I thought they killed it already! Why's it alive?"_

_"Bakemono."_

Sasuke halted. He raised his eyes, the three tomoe of the Sharingan starting a slow, furious spin. Whatever the reason was, the words he heard induced in him such burning hatredand an overwhelming desire to _hurt_ the gossiping group of the ancient villagers he had sworn to protect.

"Don't mind them, Uchiha-san," a soft voice cut in. Crimson faded to black as gold and tan flooded his vision. He blinked, the hitai'ate on her eyes catching the noonday sun.

"It's just them now and I'm used to it." She shrugged—Naruto smiled and somehow, it was painful for him to see. "Ten years is a long time but some people just couldn't—" she cut herself off. "Let's go, Uchiha-san. Neji's waiting." She grabbed his hand and he stiffened at the sudden contact.

_Warm._

She immediately let go—burned—and rubbed the back of her neck with the wayward hand, laughing sheepishly. "Ah, sorry, sorry, Uchiha-san. But come on?"

_Familiar._

He wanted to know. "Couldn't what?"

She turned to him. It was hard to read her expression—not with that glinting metal with their village symbol over her eyes.

_His eyes expressed everything._

"Some people just couldn't forget," she murmured. She turned away, but not before Sasuke heard her. "—and forgetting is sometimes the only way to move on."

_He never gave up._

"Oi Neji! Wait up!"

_He was always there._

"Why do they call you a demon?"

_He fought for acceptance._

A careless shrug, a slight smile, before she walked away. Her voice was light, almost dreamy. "Because I am."

_He never stopped believing._

As Sasuke slowly followed after the two, he struggled against the sudden strange heat that had pooled behind his eyes. He closed his eyes briefly and opened them again, his vision slowly clearing. His chest felt tight. Maybe he was coming down with something?

_He never stopped caring._

Sasuke shook his head. He raised his head to where his two companions were waiting. His hands in his pockets, he followed as they both resumed walking.

_Who is he?_

* * *

_"RAMEN!"_

Neji chuckled as a golden blur flew past him and ended on a stool. Sasuke rolled his eyes at the childish exclamation, unaware of the slight tug at the corner of his lips.

She was sitting where he first saw her this morning, Sasuke realized—and hesitated. Should he sit beside her? That was where he always sat. And it wasn't like he was afraid she'd move to a different spot when he chose to sit beside her—he _owned_ the seat beside her. He was there _first _and she had no right to complain about it. She was just sitting next to his favorite seat—

Why was he debating with himself over this again?

"Stop glaring at the air, Uchiha," Neji's voice broke through his thoughts. Sasuke blinked and glowered at the smirking captain. He gracefully sank down on the seat on Naruto's right and on her other side, Neji followed suit.

"Miso ramen, Teuchi-jiisan!" Naruto happily announced.

"Seafood ramen, Teuchi-san," Neji added.

"Naruto!" the old man exclaimed. "So it was you this morning! I knew no one could eat that much ramen in one sitting!"

"You were here earlier?" Neji asked, an eyebrow raised.

Naruto's lips quirked. "I haven't had Ichiraku ramen for _ten years_, Neji. Could you imagine _ten years without_ Ichiraku? That would be like—like—like Neji without Tenten! Or—Or Neji without balls because Tenten got _pissed off__!_" Neji blanched. "Of course this would be the first place I'd go to!" she finished with a raised fist.

Sasuke could imagine fire burning in her eyes. Would they be red, consuming like fire?

Teuchi heartily ruffled the blonde's already mussed hair. "That's very touching for an old man to hear, gaki," the old man said roughly. "I should have realized it was you. The past years you were gone, no one ever sat there."

"Really?" Naruto asked, surprised.

The ramen chef had a smile on his kind old face. "Yes. It was strange but no one ever did. Of course, your teammates always sat where they used to. Look, Sa—"

"Old man! I need my rameeeeeeen! Noooooow!" she cut off with a whine. She grinned when Teuchi smacked her head with his ladle, a tongue sticking out playfully from the corner of her lips.

"You've changed lot but it's good some things remain." With those last words, Teuchi left to prepare their orders. Sasuke glanced at the blonde sitting beside him who was happily humming a little song. She had cut him off on purpose, he knew.

He replayed Teuchi-san's words. So she used to be here with her teammates before? And the seat she was sitting on had always been her seat? Sasuke recalled the times he had visited Ichiraku over the years, and he realized that what the old man had said was true—no one ever sat there.

Maybe the others knew it was hers. Sasuke found the thought a bit sentimental, and it only continued to frustrate him.

_So she was always here before. But_— memories flashed through him—_I've been here since I was a genin and I never saw her at all. But I know someone who used to sit there._

"Uchiha-san? Uchiha-san?"

_My old teammate._

"_UCHIHA-SAN!_"

"_What?_" Sasuke snapped. He met with a hitai'ate and a pair of haughty white eyes.

"_You haven't given your order yet, Uchiha-san!_" Naruto yelled back.

Sasuke glared at her but soon realized it was a useless exercise. She couldn't see him, after all.

"He already knows," Sasuke said instead, voice frosty.

"Ah..." Naruto nodded. "So Uchiha-san—"

"Sasuke," he interrupted. He hated hearing her call him that.

"Uchiha-san?"

"_Sasuke_," he bit out. He disliked people who acted so familiarly with him but common sense never stood a chance against what he felt—it irked him how familiar she was with everyone, how close she appeared to be with the people he knew. How _everyone _seemed to know her—

_Except me._

"So Sasuke-_san_—"

"_Sasuke._"

"So Sasuke-_san_, you're a regular? Didn't know an Uchiha could enjoy a simple fare like ramen," Naruto continued cheerfully.

He disliked the implication of her words, more so because it was true. He especially disliked that she went against him—_interrupted_ him, even. "I don't like ramen."

"Maa, why do you eat it if you don't like it?" she asked, sounding petulant.

"I don't have to explain myself," he answered coldly. He couldn't very well say that there were just times when the urge to eat the rubbish was unbearably strong, could he? He especially couldn't say that for whatever reason there was—if ever there _was_ at all—ramen always made him feel a special kind of warmth deep inside him. He couldn't say because, like a miser hoarding gold in his own room, he felt like this was all he could ever keep to himself.

And miso ramen, stupid as he felt to admit it and even angry about it, was the closest taste he could ever have of the sky.

_Where do I get such idiocy?_

"Just confess your undying love to Ramen-sama, brethren." Naruto grinned, opening her arms in a welcoming gesture. "Join us and be accepted to the fold... Come out of the closet of ramen hatred and embrace your destiny of ramen love! Come ouuuuuuut!"

Sasuke rolled his eyes though unknown to him, a little smile was playing on his lips once more. "Idiot," he muttered, lacking force to equal the insult.

There was a silence in the stand as everything within seemed to stop. Sasuke glanced up, wondering at the change. He turned to the blonde beside him, only to see a frozen look that slowly made way into another expression entirely, the way a mountain of ice melts under the heat of the sun.

It was fascinating.

"And you," Naruto emphasized, "are a _bastard_."

Sasuke forgot to feel anything with the wide grin on her face.

"… Hn."

Because finally, she wasn't ignoring him.

Naruto threw her head back and laughed delightedly. She nudged Neji with her elbow in between hiccups for air.

That smile, it was for _him_.

"I would love to be around when you two _talk__!_" She chortled. "I can see it now—a whole conversation, done in one minute! With no changes of expressions! No words at all! Maybe one syllable from both of you if I get lucky!" Naruto was now slapping her thigh. "I'm such a _genius__!_ Make me stop!"

Neji made sure that she could feel his glare. "Hn."

"You know what else would make it better?" Naruto added in between howls of laughter. "_Gaara!_ The three of you can have a panel discussion in silence! Throw in _Shino_ too and the silence just got _louder__!_"

"_Hn._" It was more forceful from Neji now.

"Moron."

They were answered by more shrieks of laughter.

For the first time in ten years, Sasuke felt lighter than he had ever been. It felt natural—shooting her insults, sitting in Ichiraku beside her, hearing her laughter, being around her. Sasuke had never felt so comfortable with anyone before. He had never felt so content—he had never felt so _alive_.

And somewhere in the shadowed corner of his heart, in the hidden part of his mind that always remembered, he knew what he really, _truly_ felt—

Complete.


	6. Chapter 5

**The Sky  
**

_by Hic Iacet Mori_

* * *

**Chapter 5**

"Your ramen is miso?" Naruto asked, surprise lacing her words. She pointed a finger in accusation when she was met with silence. "Don't deny it, I can smell it!"

Sasuke shrugged coolly, splitting a pair of chopsticks. "So?"

"So why?" she asked, a good second after squealing over her own bowl. She dug in with such enthusiasm Sasuke felt it could be bottled and sold. _Or bottled and thrown away for the greater good_, he thought to himself dryly.

"So?" he repeated after swallowing. He deftly lifted another batch of the noodle strings to his lips, opening his mouth as little as possible to take it all in.

Naruto was, surprisingly, on her second bowl of ramen already. She paused for a moment to answer. "Nothing special, really. Just find it weird. And cool." She must have felt his questioning eyebrow because she broke into a foxy grin. "It's dumb, I know, but it's my favorite, see. Though I eat other flavors too."

_Miso ramen was his favorite too_, Sasuke wanted to tell her. Wanted her to hear it, somehow. _And I eat it not to remember him _—_he's just an old teammate but... I guess I understand now why he loved it so much._

_He must have felt this warmth too._

His thoughts turned inward—he absentmindedly stirred his ramen as his mind drifted again. He'd been thinking more of his old teammate than he used to lately.

"Come out of hiding, jerk. I can sense your perverted ass from a mile away."

It's not as if he knew his old teammate that well—they weren't even friends. 14 years was a long time and memories fade in time. One of the only few things he could remember about him was his love for ramen. He was also clumsy, stupid, and overall a useless person, a real shame to the shinobi. All that ramen cramping his brain made him a blundering, worthless idiot.

"Dickless. Hyuuga. Uchiha."

_No wonder he died._

"Dickhead!"

Sasuke found it odd that Neji gave way to Sai, of all people, giving up his own spot beside Naruto. Sai thanked him with a polite smile and settled beside her and, after giving his order, turned to Naruto with a wide, suspicious-looking smile.

"We are a perfect match, dickless. My penis is big enough for the both of us."

Sasuke choked on his ramen and hastily grabbed the glass of water before him. He glared at the newcomer irritably. Had the idiot no concept of shame?

_And they dared make him my replacement?_

Naruto hit him in the head repeatedly, adding emphasis to her outraged yells. "Pervert! Jerk! Bastard! I thought Sakura-chan would have cured you by now, stupid Sai! You didn't change at all!"

He shot her a surprised look. _She knows Sakura too?_

"I'm not sick, Naruto-kun," Sai said mildly, rubbing his abused head. "Ugly would make sure I am, however." His dark eyes glanced at the blonde once more, before staring completely at a spot on her chest.

"I can feel your eyes, fucker," Naruto growled. "What are you looking at?"

Sai gently put both hands over her shoulder and turned her upper body to him. Without any warning whatsoever, he grabbed Naruto's chest and began feeling around, groping for something without so much as a change in his expression.

"_Fuck_, SAI!"

And suddenly Sasuke's hand was clutching Sai's in a tight, bone-crushing grip, Sharingan bleeding red and black. Sai had on his fake smile and Sasuke was sadistically pleased to note that the nauseating smile was fucking _strained_. Neji was restraining his other hand and Sasuke glowered at him with open dislike and disgust. Figures the great _Hyuuga Neji_ with the great _libido_ would side with the _pervert_.

"Let the jerkwad go, Sasuke-san," Naruto said calmly from behind him.

Sasuke's eyes widened before narrowing into slits. "After what he did?" His eyes darkened as a sickening realization washed on him.

"_Did you like it?_" he hissed.

A deathly silence settled in the entire stand. An eerie, almost inhuman growl suddenly sounded within, and Sasuke took quick glances around to locate its source, realizing soon that it was coming from the back of Naruto's throat. He felt ice run down his spine and he watched, frozen, as she gritted her teeth, forcing the animalistic snarl from fully coming out of her mouth.

"Sai is a socially retarded _bastard_ and a fucking_ friend_, Sasuke-_san_," she said, voice composed and even yet full of warning. He had to admire her for her tight control. "And _you_ are a sick bastard for even _thinking _about _that_."

Sasuke admitted that he may have been out of the line with his accusation, but what Sai did made him absolutely livid. No self-respecting man would treat a woman like the asshole did. No man would dare touch a woman as... as... as _rudely_ as _that_. _Even if you're fucking friends_, he spat in his mind. But he really had nothing to say with what goes on between _friends_ now, does he?

So irrational but the thought just made him angrier. _Because we're not fucking friends, right?_

With a last soul-chilling glare at his fellow captains, Sasuke returned to his seat. He picked up his chopsticks and glowered at his bowl.

He wasn't in the mood to eat anymore.

"What the fuck was that for, asshole?" Naruto shouted beside him, her voice punctuated by punches to the offender's head.

"You look like a woman, dickless," Sai said bluntly. "I was merely checking. Ten years did a lot to you."

_Of course, retard!_ Sasuke was glaring daggers at his innocent bowl. _Did you expect her to look exactly like you last saw her? What kind of sick, twisted mind do you have that made you even think that groping a girl you haven't seen in years is normal, you sick twisted asshole? Did you even think at all? Saying that you think is an overstatement, isn't it?_

"I understand," Sai said after a short, contemplative silence of watching Naruto. "Your skills must have improved greatly. I did not notice anything amiss, and I am sure Hyuuga hadn't, either."

"Hn."

"Yeah yeah whatever," Naruto said, waving her chopsticks in her hand dismissively. "Stupid artist eyes. You suck balls on sensitivity. Artists are supposed to be sensitive, ass."

_That's **it**? That's just **it**?_

Sasuke was finding it uncannily hard to restrain his anger. He closed his eyes and took a long, deep breath. Why was he angry, anyway? She had obviously forgiven, but why couldn't he? Why should he have to, at all?

He didn't know Uzumaki Naruto. So why was he so affected?

"Tsunade-sama gave me a vacation, Naruto-kun," Sai said, chewing with an almost thoughtful look. "Did you have something to do with that?"

"Ehehe..." Naruto laughed slightly, rubbing the back of her neck. "Old hag said you were ANBU too, and I asked if she could give you some time off. It's unfair if Neji can spend time with _me_—" she stuck her tongue out at the amused Hyuuga, "—and _you_ can't. Even if you're a sick, perverted asshole with an obviously enduring infatuation for penises."

Sasuke's grip on his chopsticks tightened.

"Forgive me then, dickless. I declined the vacation—"

"_Baka!_"

"—but Tsunade-sama insisted, so I accepted."

Naruto stopped pounding Sai's dark head. "Good, good," she said, breaking into a sunny smile. "I want to spend as much time with you as I can and the others." Her smile turned smug. "I also asked Tsunade-baba to give Sakura-chan, Yamato-sempai and Kakashi-sensei a vacation."

Sasuke blinked. _Kakashi... sensei?_

"That's quite extreme, Naruto," Neji spoke up, shaking his head. "Shinobi can't afford to be on vacation at the same time."

"Maa, Neji," Naruto whined. "Of course I know that! I asked for their status first, see. Yamato-sempai would be gone for another month and Sakura-chan is expected back tomorrow morning. Kakashi-sensei was supposed to be back a week ago but he sent a message that he'd arrive here tomorrow instead. So Kakashi-sensei deserved a vacation. And—" Naruto paused before breaking into a satisfied smile. "—I reminded Baa-chan that _poor Sakura-chan_ suffered a lot under her and deserves a vacation too! Besides, Sakura-chan shouldn't be doing missions anymore. She's more needed in the hospital."

Neji nodded with a bit of reluctance. "It seems you have everything covered."

The blonde nodded enthusiastically. "Un, Neji-_sama. _I want to make sure I see everyone this week before things get too hectic!"

She leaned back and burped loudly, patting her stomach contentedly. Sasuke, forgetting his pressing thoughts, was torn between awe and disgust at the eight bowls of ramen before her and the gas she had just artlessly expelled. He had never seen a female consume that much in one sitting. He had never seen a female consume that much _at all_.

"You done, Neji?" she asked, a toothpick playing between her teeth. "I wanna see Tenten and the little Nejis and Tentens."

"All done," Neji answered placidly. He stood up, glancing at both Sai and Sasuke with a questioning look. Sai shook his head and Sasuke merely ignored him.

"Thank you for the most delicious ramen in the world, Ojii-san!" Naruto called out to the ramen chef pattering inside his kitchen, grinning. She reached within the folds of her cloak when Neji took her arm.

"It's on me," he said, his smile evident in his voice. Naruto grabbed him in a bear hug and squeezed, shouting her gratitude in his ear until he poked her in the forehead to shut her up. Naruto rubbed the sore spot, grinning from ear to ear.

"Yosh! Say _hi_ to Ayame-neechan for me, Jiji!" Naruto sang out cheerfully.

"It's good to have you back, gaki!" Teuchi laughed. "Drop by soon!"

"Hai!" Naruto turned to both remaining ANBU captains. "Ja, stupid-Sai! Let's chill tomorrow. Nice meeting you, Sasuke-san!" Finally done with her salutations, Naruto slipped out from under the overhang and into the afternoon sun, Neji behind her.

And somehow, it suddenly felt unbearably cold.

Sasuke looked down at his cold ramen then glanced outside. It was just early afternoon and he had nothing left to do. It seemed like a good time to read some mission reports. And maybe brood over... certain things.

"Why didn't you join them, Uchiha?" Sai suddenly asked, his face a perfect blank once again.

Sasuke gave him an impassive look. Sai was _nobody_ and he didn't deserve any answer from him. _Especially_ after what happened. He was still uncharacteristically sore over it.

"I would have expected you to come with them as you three were together," he continued. "Besides," here, Sai gave him a knowing glance, "you seemed to want to join. Why didn't you?"

"How did you know Uzumaki?" Sasuke asked out of the blue. It was one of the questions that had been plaguing his mind.

"Why are you interested?" Sai returned pleasantly. Sasuke had a mad urge to pry the ANBU's teeth one by one with his chopsticks. Before he could continue the line of thought, the other man stood up, leaving his bill.

He turned around and allowed a genuine smile to grace his pale features, features that could be mistaken for an Uchiha at first glance. "Naruto taught me about bonds, Uchiha. The bond we have is the reason I am alive."

With that, Sai left Sasuke alone in the ramen stand, his parting words replaying on the latter's mind until one word remained—a word he had never heard of before.

_Bonds?_


	7. Chapter 6

**The Sky  
**

_by __Hic Iacet Mori_

* * *

**Chapter 6  
**

He looked up and there it was again—the blue, blue skies, clear and cloudless and comforting, stretching farther than his eyes could see. Heaven had a color, he had decided, on a time so long ago he couldn't remember—its color was a perfect, endless, impossible _blue_.

His gaze remained fixed to the skies, captivated by its sheer blueness showing unhurried glimpses of permanence and eternity. The sky, unlike the clouds, was unchanging—it was constant, unfading, eternal. Whether night or day, winter or summer, snowy or stormy or sunny or rainy, the sky remained. The sky will always,_ always_ remain.

And the sky reminded him of promises—unwavering and unconditional with its faithful presence. It would always be there and the sky never, ever goes back on its word. Because—here he was certain, as certain as he could _ever_ be—the sky speaks of a promise.

_A promise of a lifetime._

From the periphery he caught a glimpse of sudden brightness, brighter than the unending sky. It was strange and disconcerting, yet it felt as if he had been waiting for it all along. He slightly tilted his face to the right, and what he saw made him remove a hand cradling his head to shield his eyes.

It was _bright_. It was—

_The sun?_

His eyes squinted and he lifted the hand that was protecting his eyes. He wasn't surprised that he couldn't reach it—he had tried to reach the sky before, and the intangible sky was always far from his mortal grasp. What made him think that it would be different with the sun? Still, he couldn't stop the feeling of disappointment that the familiar, futile gesture evoked in him _every single time_.

He never once succeeded—and he never once stopped trying.

_There was never a sun before._

* * *

Sasuke's eyes shot open.

He couldn't see it but he knew—his right hand was reaching desperately above him again. The unforgiving darkness swallowed him whole, and it took a few more blinks before his sight adjusted enough to allow him to see the pale hand raised before him. He stretched his neck to get the knots out and he pulled down his hand to rub his face off the lingering drowsiness.

His hand was cold.

Sasuke looked at the scattered scrolls ruefully—the afternoon had gone by and he had fallen asleep over his task. He stood up and stretched—falling asleep while sitting upright, however used he was to it, was always uncomfortable— and headed out of his room. Judging by the darkness around him and the protests in his stomach, it was supposed to have been dinner an hour or so ago.

He went to the bathroom to relieve himself and to make himself presentable. Upon return, he exchanged his flak jacket and black turtleneck for a dark blue shirt. He grabbed a black jacket and pocketed his keys and wallet, exiting the door and leaving the estate. Every action was done instinctively, and it was only when he was outside that he allowed himself his thoughts as he gazed up at the starry evening sky. He closed his eyes and sighed softly, opening his eyes again to the dark, infinite sky.

A dinner and a trip to the grocery sounded right just about now.

* * *

On his destination, Sasuke's thoughts came back with resounding force.

He couldn't shake off the growing feeling that he was missing something.

It was not an unfamiliar feeling—he had felt this at odd moments in the past years, but it had never been this profound, this _insistent_, so much that he could feel it physically. This _thing_, this feeling of void, of loss and of absolute_ cold_, had never troubled him as much as it did now.

Sasuke had always assumed that this _thing_ was because his peers were settling down as much as shinobi of age could—they were planning and building for a future they had worked hard for and the last Uchiha was missing out on it. Like everyone, Sasuke had grown up and moved on—but always, in the dead of the night, when there was no one around him to share the fact of his existence with, he would retreat to a world where tears and blood never existed, a world of skies that he felt belonged in a past too old to remember but too precious to let go. Sasuke had indeed moved on—he had a foot in the future yet the other was still in the past, and he was caught in a present that was wanting and incomplete.

He had willingly moved on to a standstill.

This wasn't the aftermath of his first goal that he had envisioned. He had a road map to his future, a second goal he had ever since he lost his family—the resurrection of his clan. He kept putting it off, however, and now he found himself faced with the inescapable question.

Why?

Like everyone, he wanted a stable future. Despite his profession's lack of humanity and his general attitude against the world, Sasuke was still human and he longed—_yearned_—as much as the other man until sometimes, it becomes a physical ache. He wanted a future as well, but the future he kept _seeing_ was a future he had never planned, a future that was _different__—_an eternity of blue skies and bright sunny laughter, a patch of orange jackets and bridges over waters, a mountain of noble faces and grasses warm with sweat, splashes of unearthly colors in sunrises and sunsets.

He could even _smell_ this future and it smelled of ramen and chocolate, could _taste_ it and it tasted of miso and sweets. He could _feel_ this future_, _and it felt like the wind caressing gently with all the hatred and passion and rivalry and friendship and unconditional love gathered from its journey around the world, keeping the world's dying flame burning over and over and over again.

He kept _seeing_, _smelling_, _tasting_, _feeling _this future, and Sasuke—not the former avenger, not the last Uchiha, not the ANBU Captain of Konoha—_Sasuke _the boy who became a man too soon, wanted it like he never wanted _anything_ in his life.

_This_ was a future far removed from the future he had planned. He used to want what every person did, even more so—a partner, children, a home to return to. Perhaps his second goal was dampened by what he had discovered about his clan, but one thing he desired since he was a child remained—

A home.

And the future he kept seeing_—the sky and the sun and the wind and the fire—_that was the home he now desired. And he knew, Sasuke _knew_, that there won't be any home for him, because the things he wanted for himself would _never_ be within his reach.

Sasuke chuckled bitterly in the darkness. It was a fact he had accepted long ago, when one day he realized what he really wanted. There will never be a _sun_, or a _sky_, or a _wind_, or a _fire_ when he got home. Perhaps he can build the fire, but it won't be the same because it was just _him _who built it_—_

_—not them, never them, there will never be them—_

—because there will be no one to wait for him, no one return to. No one to return to yet _he went back_, and he asked himself again, that same question he had asked over and over and a lifetime again—

_Why_?

Why did he return to Konoha at all?

He had wanted to kill himself. After fulfilling his brother's wish, Sasuke had wanted to end his fruitless existence—the life he wasted hating and hating and _hating_—and die. So why? He wouldn't be pining for the unreachable had he ended his life. Why did he live? Why did he _choose_ to live?

_—you—_

His steps faltered.

_—enough to live—_

A hand clutched his chest. Burning. _Aching._

_—for you..._

His heart was beating so painfully—

_Don't… N–Na__—_

He was swaying from where he stood and he felt the panic he had felt this morning that seemed a lifetime ago. He took long, calming breaths as he struggled against his blurring sight, willing his mind to clear of the miasma of images and words that appeared without warning. He crouched to the ground weakly, willing his heart to return to its normal pace and the pounding on his temples to recede.

His eyes were staring at a tree in the distance, seeing what no one else could, and it was sunny and hot and it was afternoon_—_

* * *

He was breathing deeply from exertion and his eyes were turned across the grasses, a smirk on his lips directed to a figure hidden under the shade of the tree.

"All talk and no action," he sneered. He leaned forward with feline grace, placing a foot before the other and raising his fists. His eyes narrowed as the figure ran out and rushed to where he waited.

He kept smirking as he sparred with the other. Sasuke couldn't see who he was. All he could see was a shadow—moving, running, attacking, dodging. He knew the shadow was talking, because Sasuke could see him—his younger him—snorting with derision, and whenever the shadow's head would turn to another direction—

He would smile.

Sasuke didn't remember smiling as a genin. Maybe he was seeing things? He blinked. He had to make sure.

* * *

—but it was night again.

_What was that?_

He slumped on the ground, thankful for the darkness, cradling his head between his cold shaking hands. He knew what it was. It was clear and familiar as day itself. It was a memory. But—

_Why don't I remember that?_

He had seen that shadow before. It was his old teammate, the one who died. But he didn't have happy memories with him. He couldn't even remember his face, or his name—whoever he was, he was irrelevant to Sasuke's life. When he learned that he died on a mission with his ex-team while he was in Otogakure, he didn't even feel anything. His stupid teammate was a ninja and Sasuke didn't expect him to live, with his stupid words and stupid views that contradicted with the way of the shinobi.

_Maybe_—_a daydream? Because if it was a memory_—

Why did he smile?

Sasuke closed his eyes. Everything made sense yesterday, what was different about today? Why would he have this vision or daydream or memory or whatever it was _only_ this time? If it was a memory, why didn't he know this? He had a good memory—an excellent memory—and he could even use Sharingan to preserve a sight to his memory. The thing he saw—or _thought_ he saw?—seemed insignificant enough, but—

He _smiled_. He smiled after his clan's murder and he didn't remember at all. With the teammate he didn't care about. With the teammate he didn't care enough to remember.

_And those words_—

Sasuke abruptly stood up and walked on, firmly pushing those thoughts to the back of his mind. He needed to eat. He needed to buy groceries so he could eat in the coming days. He could brood over these later, and maybe he could at least reach some reasonable conclusion. Because _dammit_, a lot of things weren't making sense anymore and Sasuke was _unhappy_ with it. He adamantly refused to dwell on his numerous thoughts—_comes from not talking_—even as his mind kept replaying the words and images that threatened to dissolve his mask of indifference.

And then—

"—can't believe Ino did _that__!_"

—his lips tugged up in a small smile.

A hoot of laughter. "_Man_, I would have given my arm to see that! _Damn!_"

It was dark but it was brighter. He was alone but it wasn't so lonely anymore. And Sasuke was smiling and he didn't even know, he felt lighter and he didn't know why.

_I really like her laugh._

He didn't understand how hearing the laughter of one Uzumaki Naruto could make one Uchiha Sasuke think that things weren't as bad as he thought they were. But maybe he knew. Because if there could be that much laughter in one person, it wouldn't take long to remove sorrow in another, right?

—_"You'll... make everything... better?"_

His breath suddenly came harsher and he felt himself swaying on his feet once again. He leaned on a wall, shaking his head to clear his thoughts as his fists clenched with his internal struggle for control.

_Not now, not now. Not again, dammit!_

He closed his eyes and took a steadying breath. _Not now when someone could see. _

Another laugh.

_Not now when she_—

He took one final calming breath and opened his eyes. He looked up and pulled himself from the wall he had been leaning on. The signage announced a barbecue house that he knew a colleague frequented with religious fervor. Maybe he could have his late dinner there. Maybe there, he could forget for a moment.

"—for real?" the voice shrieked, evolving into laughter again. "Kiba did _that?_ With _Akamaru__?_"

Sasuke wasn't big on barbecue—he couldn't remember a single time he had indulged in the carcinogenic, cholesterol-drenched rubbish—but he had a feeling that he just might like it.

_She's laughing again._

Maybe she could remind him how to do that too.

_"I promise."_


	8. Chapter 7

**The Sky**

_by Hic Iacet Mori_

* * *

**Chapter 7**

It was dimly-lit inside the restaurant and the raucous evening crowd was conspicuously absent. It was a weeknight and it was late, and only the loyal customers were there to enjoy another night of meat and smoke. He didn't expect the restaurant to be quite decent, however, though a couple of the regulars weren't exactly people you'd entrust a harmless puppy with.

His shoulders in its usual slouch, he continued inside. The few who were eating on nearby tables paused in their conversations to stare as he stood still, cold eyes appearing to assess everyone in the vicinity.

Sasuke rarely went anywhere with people. He wasn't sociable and would never be, but even his rare appearances couldn't remove the truth that everyone in the village knew whohe was. To see him in a common barbecue restaurant famed for its motley crowd was more than surprising.

With his usual indifference, his midnight gaze drifted to a corner of the restaurant, eyes drawn almost like magnet to a couple sitting across each other. Round dark eyes caught his, widening in surprise before turning to look at his cloaked companion who, from his viewpoint, seemed to be happily gorging on another stick of barbecue.

Sasuke caught a look of uncertainty in ruddy features as he purposefully and silently made his way to where they sat. A strange reluctance had settled in the usually content expression, and he raised an eyebrow to indicate his minute curiosity. The man remained quiet, however.

Back still turned to him, the blonde glutton raised a hand.

"Sasuke-san! Fancy meeting you here."

Across from her, Sasuke caught an odd look of relief flash on the larger man's features before vanishing quickly. He gave a friendly smile. "'Evening, Uchiha."

Sasuke grunted his greetings and the two continued chatting amiably, swapping jokes and snatching bites of barbecue as if they had never lost contact with each other. As Naruto laughed once again, he stood there hesitating—neither Uzumaki Naruto nor Akimichi Chouji was his friend but he would like to sit with them. He wanted to sit with _her_, with her covered eyes and open laughter, but—he felt a strange pang in his chest—he wasn't even welcome. As she continued chuckling, he took a step back and blindly turned around. He wasn't wanted and it bothered him that it hu—

_I don't care._

"Why're you still standing? Aren't you joining us?"

He couldn't quite conceal the relief in his voice as he slowly turned around, his expression blank. "If you insist."

Naruto snorted indelicately and returned to Chouji, picking up where she left off as he settled beside the huge jounin. Sasuke would have chosen to sit beside her—sitting beside her earlier in Ichiraku was not purposeful, but he found that he didn't mind it and even _expected_ it, now—except that he preferred seeing her face while she talked. Naruto was an animated talker with her gestures and expressions playing all across her features, and Sasuke had never seen so many facial expressions in one person, never seen so much emotion that could quickly change in a second. He knew, though, that she could close off perhaps as well as him if she wanted to. Like earlier this morning.

… He couldn't believe he had just met this blonde chattering across from him _this_ morning.

"I didn't order this," Sasuke muttered, looking down at a heap of barbecues before him, its smoky scent finally breaking him from his reverie.

"I did," Naruto said with a cheeky smile, pausing from her conversation.

He turned to her irritably. "A dozen?"

She huffed. "What do you expect from a barbecue house? Tomatoes?" Sasuke paused at the words—was the mention of his favorite food intentional?—and a gloved hand reached out across him, the motion catching his attention. "Don't want them, don't eat them."

Acting on impulse, Sasuke's hand slapped Naruto's hand away from his plate. The action caught both of them unawares and they stayed immobile for almost a minute as Sasuke's dark eyes slightly widened. He was broken from his trance when Naruto's hand retreated, almost as if it was stung.

A smile stretched on tanned features as he tried to process what he had just done. Sasuke raised his eyes from his hand—he still can't believe it moved like that and _what was he thinking hitting her like that?—_to look at the blonde's strange reaction.

"You—" she paused, trying to inhale deeper inconspicuously—Sasuke heard a slight shake in her voice, and he was beginning to feel an uncharacteristic guilt over what he had done, hitting like that—and continued, the bizarre smile still on her face "—must really love your barbecue, eh?" She turned to the other man, who had been watching the odd interaction with slight unease. "Seems we have ourselves a new rival, na, Chouji?"

Sasuke knew she was trying to assure him and he didn't deserve that. It felt as if he had struck a chord, somehow.

Shaggy reddish-brown mane moved along with his head, a small smile on a face that could be fearsome when needed. "Seems like it."

Naruto barked a laugh. "Better make sure to finish all that. Don't want to have you throwing it all up like Kiba did." She chortled, obviously remembering something amusing.

Sasuke looked at the piles of empty dishes on the table and at the last plate in front of her. Chouji had a toothpick between his lips and Naruto was holding her last barbecue. They looked ready to leave.

He took six of his barbecues and placed it on her plate. Naruto's eyebrows rose before wiggling mischievously.

"Admitting defeat already, Sasuke-san?"

"Hn." Sasuke took a barbecue and bit, grimacing as sauce and oil dripped on his lips. He took a napkin and wiped his cheeks, repeating the process whenever he took a bite. Damn oily crap.

"Why were you looking for Shikamaru?" Chouji asked beside him.

Naruto swallowed before answering. "I expected the lazy ass to be here." She grinned. "Shoulda remembered he's hauling his not-so-lazy-ass-anymore on a mission."

"Oh, you know he's married?" Chouji asked, surprise in his voice.

Naruto smirked. "'Course I do. And with a wife like his, even a turtle would be forced to sprint."

"He's returning tonight," Chouji remarked. "I wouldn't be surprised if he's back already."

"Anou, it's pretty late already so I'd probably just hunt him down tomorrow," she waved off carelessly. "With the way things are, I won't be surprised if everyone's here tomorrow anyway."

Chouji nodded. The hitai'ate covered Naruto's eyes but he knew the blonde could sense his motion and agreement. He leaned back, patting his stomach contentedly. "I should be off, Naruto. By the way, where're you staying?"

Naruto shrugged. "Probably, tower. Baa-chan won't mind."

"Your apartment complex was torn down," Chouji said, sounding almost apologetic.

"Saa, the shit-infested hellhole had to come down," Naruto said cheerily. "Shizune-neechan is looking for an apartment. Neji said I could stay in the Hyuuga Estate for the meantime but I don't want to be a bother. 'Sides," the blonde mock-growled. "The triplets would probably remove this thing in my sleep," she finished, pointing at the metal.

"You're welcome to stay with me," Chouji invited, his voice warm.

Naruto grinned. "Nah. Wouldn't want to intrude on your quality time with Ino. That temper of hers is almost as scary as Sakura-chan's."

"I'd be going then," Chouji said, chuckling slightly. He didn't want to be rude but Naruto was still eating the barbecue given by Uchiha, and Ino would throw a fit if he didn't come back soon. Besides, he wanted to tell his wife that Uzumaki Naruto was back in Konoha.

Knowing her, she would probably insist on throwing a party.

"Ja ne, Chouji." Naruto smiled, waving a hand. Chouji slapped his bill on the table and, with a final nod to the exuberant blonde and the silent brunet, left his favorite restaurant.

A comfortable silence settled upon the remaining shinobi, Sasuke staring unabashedly at the woman across him. He had opted to listen and observe, and he was feeling the familiar irritation again. Why does everyone know her? And why does she seem to know everyone from his batch_?_ He was fast realizing that Naruto, in the past, must have moved in the circle he himself was currently moving in. Shinobi world was not a big world, he knew, but he couldn't discount this to simply coincidence.

"Is there something on my face?" a curious voice broke through him. He berated himself—he had been zoning out a lot and now she had even caught him. Her senses were terribly sharp, he should be much more careful around her.

Her question repeated in his mind and he smirked. As a matter of fact, there were _indeed_ a lot of things on her face. Barbecue sauce smeared her lips and her cheeks—she looked like a rascal with mud streaked all over his face.

His mouth suddenly went dry when pink tongue flicked out and swiped over plump, red lips.

"Anything else?" Naruto asked.

Sasuke was struck speechless and he could only nod, mesmerized. His breath hitched when her pink tongue flicked out once again, slowly and deliberately tracing her upper lip. The same tongue licked the lower lip with purposeful slowness, making sure that nothing unsightly remained before she smacked her lips with a soft 'pop' that jolted him upright.

Golden eyebrows furrowed over the uncanny silence. Her lips tugged down with frustration. "Well, can you say at least where they are? On my cheeks? Where? On my _nose_?"

Sasuke couldn't understand why his breath was getting shorter and shallower but one thing he knew with a certainty that blew him away—he wanted to touch those lips. A convenient napkin in his hand, he reached across him, itching to wipe the grease off her face and feel those lips under his fingers.

A hand met his own halfway and took the paper napkin.

"Thanks," Naruto said with her damnable bright smile. He felt irrationally disappointed when the napkin that should have been in his hand wiped smeared whiskered cheeks, and he glared when the offending napkin wiped her lips for good measure.

"That was really good," Naruto exhaled, patting her stomach happily. "Thank you for the barbecue, Sasuke-san. And now I leave you in peace," she ended with her hand held up in a peace sign.

"Eat this," he ordered tonelessly, placing three more on the woman's plate. Naruto crinkled her brows before shrugging.

"Eaten a couple already but I guess I have room for more," she said, flashing a brilliant smile. Sasuke only rolled his eyes at the blonde's words. A couple? If twelve plates were a couple, he wouldn't want to see a lot.

As Naruto ate happily, Sasuke decided maybe it was time to pop a question that had sprouted in his mind since he heard of Naruto's situation. If only he knew how to go about it. He wasn't exactly the type to go around inviting people, after all.

Naruto, sensing his mood change, polished off the second stick of barbecue and raised an eyebrow. "Something you wanna say, Sasuke-san?"

"Stay with me."

Sasuke silently cursed himself at the unthinking words, his curses becoming more colorful when he felt warmth rising from his chest, climbing up his neck and landing on his cheeks. Fuck, he did not _blush_.

Across him, Naruto looked stunned, her mouth slightly open. It was really fascinating, how pink her tongue was and how red her lips were.

_I. Don't. Blush._

He cleared his throat, shaking himself from the wayward thoughts. "You could stay at my place for a while," he elaborated with impeccable calm. "Uchiha Estate is quite big and I live alone."

It felt as if _alone_ was the wrong thing to say.

"You could sleep in my roo—g-g-guest room."

_The fuck I stuttered?_

Sasuke sat in mortified silence, eyes involuntarily squeezing shut as he waited for the other's answer. When he heard nothing after a minute or so, he opened his eyes, reluctant— and took in the closed-off expression of the blonde.

It angered him.

"You hardly know me, Sasuke-san," Naruto murmured. He felt a bitterness rise in his throat and he ignored the strange despair that the words had induced in him. She was right and it frustrated him how right she was.

"I would have to know you, then."

Sasuke couldn't see any hint of reaction from a face suddenly devoid of emotion. It irked him, not reading her. It wasn't in the scheme of things.

It felt _wrong_.

"Well, are we going?"

And she had managed to surprise him again.

A warm feeling welled up in his chest as he watched Naruto finish her last barbecue. Shaking his head over what he had willingly brought himself into, he raised his hand to signal for the check. Seconds later a waitress appeared.

He discovered to his annoyance that Akimichi Chouji had paid enough for all of them. Frowning, he turned away from the blushing waitress and resolved to return the jounin's money the next day. No one pays for an Uchiha.

Sasuke stood up, waiting for his companion to stand up as well. They left the restaurant together and stepped out into the night.

* * *

It took another hour before Sasuke returned with his new houseguest.

Purchasing groceries took a short time. Naruto had insisted on waiting outside, saying that she wouldn't be of any help because she couldn't see where the stuff were. Which suited Sasuke just fine as he grabbed a dozen instant ramen for her—she lived for the rubbish, after all, and he was just being a gracious host.

And then they had to run into random people who knew her. Naruto would chat a bit, asking questions about the other's current life before leaving a promise to meet up some time. As she stopped to talk to someone anew, Sasuke's impatience grew. Naruto must have sensed it somehow as their steps soon became faster, and they didn't stop for anyone again.

He almost sighed with relief when he closed the door behind them. Before him, Naruto was taking off her boots and he watched in slight amusement as she wiggled her toes with a soft sigh. Sasuke kicked off his sandals and used his right foot to slide it beside the blonde's. He ignored the strange, painful warmth that he felt upon seeing their foot wears lying side by side each other—it was probably something stupid and sentimental like nostalgia or something. He had lived by himself for the past ten years, after all—there was always only a pair of sandals or boots by the door. Foolish, true, but it had been so long—

"Excuse the intrusion."

Naruto carried the other package of groceries, and his eyes followed with grudging admiration as she padded off to his kitchen. She must possess extremely good spatial awareness, to be able to navigate in a house she had never been in before. Even he himself wasn't that good.

He wordlessly followed and Naruto moved to the side, dropping the package in her hands on the barely-used table. He followed suit and began opening and closing his fridge and cupboard, putting away the food he had bought. All the while, Sasuke's ears buzzed in the deafening silence. He couldn't even hear her breathe and it bothered him more than it should.

"Tea?" he asked. He glanced beside him, noticing that she was an arm's length from him. She looked unusually pale.

Naruto merely shook her head with a cheery smile. "It's cool, Sasuke-san. Anou sa," she yawned. "I'm really sleepy. This has been one hell of a tiring day."

Sasuke nodded, albeit hesitantly. He was finding it hard to believe that it had only been a day—so much had happened already. And he was feeling strangely disappointed as well, after hearing what she had said. She _did _looktired.

"But a cup's probably good."

He grunted, stifling a smile that was threatening to form. Naruto pulled a chair and plopped down gracelessly, her face turned away from him. Sasuke would have preferred to make her Gyokuro but the wait was quite long and he didn't want her accidentally sleeping on him. Instead, he took two packets of teabags, placing one in each cup while he waited with waning patience for the water to boil.

Minutes later and he was sipping his tea. Across him, Naruto was blowing on her own, taking short, noisy sips in between.

"Woulda expected Gyokuro, Sasuke-san," she mumbled, sounding sleepy and wronged at the same time. Sasuke's eyes slightly widened. Naruto yawned and took another sip. "Drop the surprised shit. 'M not a mind reader. You're an Uchiha and you're loaded, 'course you can afford the most expensive tea." She snickered softly, mumbling some incoherent words under her breath.

Sasuke raised an eyebrow, sipping his tea with casual elegance. "What?"

"Nothing you'd like to hear."

They settled in a peculiar silence, at least to Sasuke. He carefully set down his cup, looking up into the spot where her eyes would be seen had it not been covered.

"Why?"

When no other words were coming, Naruto slightly leaned forward. "Uh... what?"

"Why—" he breathed deeply, "—did you leave Konoha?"

Naruto snorted, setting down her own cup. "Because I can?"

The answer rankled but he couldn't argue with it—not if he wanted to show that it annoyed him. She knew what he meant and she was being purposefully obtuse. "So you were away from Konoha for ten years because you can," he said tonelessly, sarcasm dripping in every deliberate absence of intonation.

She nodded firmly and Sasuke's eyes narrowed. Can't she take a hint?

"And you're back to become the Rokudaime," he continued in the same vein. Naruto shrugged. Her fingers played with her empty cup as her head absentmindedly bobbed to a rhythm only she could hear.

"You seemed to know a few of my colleagues," Sasuke went on. Naruto yawned again, this time mumbling an "excuse me." His jaw clenched.

"Guess so," she said with nonchalance. "Ninja world's kinda small."

He had thought so as well, but not everyone could get along with Hyuuga. Or tolerate _Sai_, for that matter.

"You and the Hyuuga must be... quite close," he commented. His tone had taken an almost imperceptible tight edge against himself, but Sasuke was confident she didn't hear that—he himself couldn't accept it was there. And yet the weight of her sightless gaze was suddenly heavy, as if she was staring hard at him from beneath the hitai'ate. A bright smile suddenly broke in her face, and he had the strong, tempting urge to wipe it off her face.

"Yup."

Silence.

"He never mentioned you before." No need to share that he and Hyuuga hardly ever spoke with each other.

Naruto merely shrugged again. "He's a mute bastard."

The hand holding his empty cup tightened. _Why?_ "I find tha—"

"No offense, Sasuke-san," she interrupted, a hand lazily cupping her chin. "What's will all the _I'm-too-cool-to-ask-questions-so-I'll-state-them-instead_ shit going on? Aren't you supposed to be a _no-talkie-all-killie_ type?"

And Sasuke felt it again. That feeling he had when she suddenly appeared in the Hokage's office.

"I said I would have to know you, didn't I," Sasuke said with deliberate calm.

"Hmm."

That _hatred._

"There's nothing interesting to know about me, Sasuke-san," the blonde stated flatly. She leaned on the chair, her face upturned. "Aside from the fact that I'm hardly someone you'd want your kids around you."

It _burned_ him.

_Why?_

"So let's call it a night, eh? We're both worn out."

He hated how she refused to answer his inquiring statements.

"Oi. Did you sleep on me?"

How she interrupted his spoken words.

"Sasuke-san?"

How she disregarded his observations.

"Whatever. I'm going to make myself at home."

How she sat on _his_ chair in _his_ kitchen in _his_ house looking so wonderfully, beautifully, painfully _perfect_.

"Oyasumi nasai, Sasuke-san."

Like she _belonged_ there.

"Uh, where do I sleep?"

Like she was _meant_ to be there.

"Oi!"

Most of all, Sasuke hated how his house suddenly felt like a home because Naruto was _there_.

_Why?_

His dark eyes watched her amidst the turmoil of his thoughts.

_I don't even know you._

* * *

He allowed a sigh to pass his lips, the fingers of his outstretched hand making random patterns as the vastness of endless blue covered him. It was another clear, cloudless day, and Sasuke was feeling more than satisfied.

His hand dropped to play with the grasses below him, adjusting his left hand to make sure it didn't numb with the weight of his head. His dark eyes remained fixed on the sky, his mind pleasantly clear of thoughts as the blueness mesmerized him with its constant calm.

Sasuke longed to reach it but he didn't want to feel the disappointment yet. As long as he stared, he could pretend for a bit longer that he had a chance to feel the sky in his hand.

_How would it feel to finally touch it?_

He closed his eyes, allowing himself for a moment to feel the embrace of the wind. Something bright shone before his closed eyes, and a smile slowly lit up his features.

So it wasn't a fluke. The sun was really here to stay.

Sasuke's eyes opened slowly, allowing his sight to adjust to the brightness of the sun. It's really bright, and he wondered faintly if the real sun was as bright as it was in the world inside his dream.

Strangely, there was warmth this time. His head tilted slightly to the side. How odd. He could _feel_ it.

Without a thought, he raised his hand once again. Maybe he could touch the sun? He could never touch the sky, never touched the sun the first time it shone, but maybe this time would be different.

_It's warm._

His chest tightened. _The sun is warm._

He couldn't believe it. He just _touched _the sun.

Sasuke blinked. Was he seeing things? He blinked once more.

The sun was still shining and he could still feel the warmth in his hand, the sky was still a clear and cloudless blue, but—

_It's raining?_

A light rain was falling around him, landing almost as gently as the butterfly kisses he had received as a child. He was fascinated—it never drizzled in his dream before. There used to be rain, or storm, even snow sometimes, but there never was a drizzle. It was quite an experience for him.

He wanted to feel it too.

Slowly, almost carefully, the hand that held the sun stretched out to the skies. He gasped when a drop touched his hand.

It was warm too.

He caught another drop with the same hand.

_Strange._

Somehow, Sasuke couldn't smile.

* * *

He stared unblinking in the dark.

Sasuke glanced at his open window, taking in the moon hidden behind the rolling clouds. He closed his eyes and sighed, pulling down the hand stretched above him yet again. It was still dark. Had he only been sleeping for a few hours?

_Really strange._

His dream had just taken an interesting turn. The fact that he remembered every detail of his dream was uncanny enough, but that he felt them in his dream as well? It rained for more than a week in his dream once and the rain never touched him at all. Not that it was strange in itself. It was a dream, after all.

But he actually felt the sun? And caught the rain?

_What the_—

Sasuke stared at his open hand.

_What—Why_—

His eyes followed in disbelief as liquid rolled down to his blanket.

_What happened?_

He touched his face, feeling around for any hint of moisture. No, it wasn't him. And if it was, he would have bashed his head in for being an idiot enough to cry in his sleep.

Maybe his roof was leaking? But it wasn't even raining...

Another thought entered his mind but he quickly stopped it from forming completely. It was just too—bizarre.

Sasuke yawned, his right hand covering his mouth. His reflexive action had brought a touch of the strange liquid to his lips. It tasted like salt.

_Like the sea._

He used the hand to cover his eyes, pushing his thoughts to the back of his head to catch sleep once more.

_Like tears._

* * *

Finally, Sasuke drifted off to another peaceful sleep.

A figure appeared from the shadows and quietly opened the door. A shaft of light washed over the ethereal features of the handsome man slumbering on his bed, the moon coming out of its hiding and bathing the tableau in unearthly splendor. Its beauty—peaceful, pristine, almost perfect—remained unseen as the figure left the room, the door shutting behind with silent resignation.

The cloaked figure leaned a head on the door, a hand reaching up and wiping trails of hot liquid that had fallen from eyes that couldn't see.

Eyes that had chosen not to see.

"_Sweet dreams, Sasuke._"


	9. Chapter 8

**The Sky**

_by Hic Iacet Mori_

* * *

**Chapter 8**

Something white-hot and piercing lanced in his chest.

Dark eyes stared in disbelief at the folded blankets covering two immaculately white pillows, the dark blue comforter over an equally dark bed sheet fixed as perfectly as the night he made it. Dark blue curtains flew up as the early morning breeze blew past, and he had this piercingly cold thought that the element was mocking him.

The windows weren't open the night before.

Sasuke hesitantly took a step inside, the sleepiness from waking up too early for a shinobi on vacation abruptly forsaking him. This wasn't what he expected. He expected her _there_, sleeping on the bed or even sitting upright, stretching as she yawned her greeting. Maybe even seeing her black cloak lying on the floor and hearing her take her morning shower, or maybe even seeing her eyes for the first time as the sunlight streamed from the window. He expected her there. He expected her—expected—_expected_—

How _could_ she.

He swiftly turned around and fled the room—a room that once belonged to someone he dearly loved.

How could she leave like _that_.

He ran through the hallway, anger burning within him and not a small amount of hurt fueling the raging fire.

_How dare she sleep in my house and leave without telling_—

He was already by the door when an almost muffled query within the recesses of his house halted him.

"Sasuke-san! Leaving so soon?"

His heart pounded loudly in his ears and he couldn't move from where he stood. Sasuke was suddenly achingly aware of himself—how his blood was racing through his veins, how his breath was ragged and harsh, how his head was reeling from the flying words and formless thoughts that grounded to a complete halt at the sound of her voice. How, in that moment when he stood staring inside the room where she slept the night before, how he felt when he didn't see any sign of her at all—

How utterly _scared_ he was.

_What have you done to me?_ his mind whispered.

"Hey, are you okay?" Naruto asked behind him, voice taking in an unusually gentle tone. "You feel... troubled."

Sasuke slowly turned around. There she stood in her cloaked glory, a hand holding a cup ramen and the other hand holding a pair of chopsticks. Her visible yellow hair was spiking in some parts and there was a piece of noodle stuck on her left cheek. She was gesturing a bit impatiently with her chopsticks, vainly searching for the right words to say as her brows knitted in annoyance with herself.

The sight hurt him.

_What have you done to me?_

"Er, I sensed that you're kinda troubled. That's what I mean," Naruto said, her right hand waving her chopsticks around some more. She sighed loudly and cocked her head. "So, were you leaving already? I made breakfast earlier but I think they're cold now. Been awake for some time, y'know."

When Sasuke didn't answer, she pouted. "At least have a bite. Why're you in a hurry, anyway? Baa-chan gave you an emergency mission? But you're on vacation! The old hag is hearing from me. That's abuse! Does Konoha have a ninja union now? I'll form one, dammit!"

Sasuke merely shook his head and strode calmly to the kitchen, his heart still beating erratically against his chest. He carefully skirted around her, making sure not to have any inadvertent physical contact because _hell_, he might do something stupid if he so much as brushed against her.

Like cling to her and assure himself that she was really there.

He grimaced over his thoughts, berating himself for his previous illogical overreactions. What came over him, anyway? Of course she wouldn't just leave. He had invited her to stay until she got a new apartment, she wouldn't leave without telling him. So what if the room looked untouched? It just meant that she can be as organized as him. So what if the window was open? It wasn't as if she'd escape through the window, and why would she escape from him, for that matter? And _fuck_, so what if she wasn't there?

_So what if she wasn't there?_

"Hn."

"I'll take that as a 'Wow, Uzumaki Naruto is an awesome cook and I can't wait to have a taste of this sumptuous feast'-hn." Naruto grinned. "Try to show any more enthusiasm and I might have a stroke so lay off, na?"

She returned to her chair and Sasuke took the chair across from her as he had the previous night. On his side was a bowl of plain rice, miso soup, and grilled fish—a typical breakfast that he, an ANBU, hadn't had in a long time. He looked over to her side—four empty cup ramen made a fortress before her, and the cup she was holding was her fifth already.

"By the way, thanks for buying ramen," Naruto said, still grinning. "Now eat up. Not my best but stomach it, okay? It's the least I can do." Her brows furrowed, as if she was trying to remember something else she needed to say.

A beautiful smile rose like the arrival of dawn itself.

"Oh yeah. Good morning, Sasuke-san."

And Sasuke was seeing it again—

He shook his head with exasperation as the shadow shoveled a cereal into his mouth for the nth time. A spoon then waved from a grayish right hand, emphasizing words he listened to with sleep-robbed annoyance.

"Hn. Make sure to stock on your rubbish next time."

The spoon waved once more, this time with more force. He smirked as the spoon slammed on his table and the shadow stood up. Before he could react, a hand reached across and grabbed the milk carton he had brought out for the moron's cereal. The hand raised the milk carton to a grinning mouth, drops of liquid contrasting sharply with the blackness of his features.

"That's disgusting, idiot."

The shadow wiped his mouth with the back of his hand, and Sasuke glimpsed a flash of sharp white teeth before the hand released the carton back to his table. Sasuke rolled his eyes and threw the now-empty milk carton into the trash can. His aim was perfect.

"You're replacing that."

A longer stretch of silence, and he snorted. "Not my fault you're a moron. Go to Kakashi or Sakura. I'm not buying you ramen."

—and then her uncharacteristically quiet voice broke through, "But I'm not asking you to."

He blinked in confusion before his sight slowly focused on bronze and gold in a sea of black. His mind whirled with a thousand words, trying to make sense of what just happened until a single thought emerged.

_It's him again._

Sasuke shook his head, raising a hand to rub his temple. And so early in the morning too. So what was that now? His ex-teammate had breakfast here before?

He was getting tired of the questions that keep appearing in his mind, and so he finally allowed himself a thought he never wanted to consider before—

_Maybe I'm hallucinating._

It was then that Sasuke noticed the unusual silence. He raised his head. Across him, Naruto looked oddly colorless. An eyebrow went up as he observed her suddenly mechanical motion of eating.

"You're pale."

"Aa?" A smile stretched on her face and she began laughing. "It's nothing. Maybe I'm still tired. How about you? You're still not eating."

Sasuke grunted and picked up his chopsticks. Murmuring a low "Itadakimasu," he picked up his bowl of rice and began to eat, snatching pieces of viand. He knew he shouldn't be—from the looks of it, it looked edible enough—but he was surprised that the meal was actually good.

"Anou..." Naruto coughed, breaking the silence. "About last night—" she shifted her head to the side, facing the wall. "—sorry about last night. 'Bout how I answered. I was kinda tired and well—" Her hand reached up and sheepishly rubbed the back of her head. "—it's kinda rude, seeing as you welcomed me here even if you don't know me. So... yeah."

He raised his eyes to her, willing himself to see the sincerity he heard in her voice, to see her eyes by sheer force alone. Naruto began fidgeting at the weight of his stare until she decided she wouldn't take it anymore.

"Why are you staring?"

"You're not blind, aren't you?" he asked point-blank. Naruto just shook her head. "Then why wear that?"

She waved her hand in a dismissive gesture. "Nothing you'd like to know." She must have sensed his heated glare because her jaws hardened resolutely. "Really. It's _nothing_ you'd like to know."

Sasuke merely grunted. He'd find out sooner or later—if not from her, then from someone who could be _persuaded_ to answer. His eyes narrowed. So she was sorry about how she answered last night? Maybe sorry enough to answer?

"So why did you leave Konoha?" he asked casually after swallowing choice bites of grilled fish. Across him, Naruto stiffened almost imperceptibly, an action caught by his sharp black eyes.

"I had to," she replied, shrugging off the tension in her shoulders. She placed her chopsticks on her now empty fifth ramen cup and laced her fingers beneath her chin, propping her face up. The action reminded Sasuke of himself.

"Something... happened," Naruto continued. "And I have to go. Never regretted it, though." Her sightless gaze fixed on him, and a bittersweet smile formed in her lips. "So for ten years I traveled and trained myself. You know, can't be lax. And well, I had to prepare myself for—something. 'S why I'm here now.

"Maybe—" Naruto's voice softened—Sasuke could imagine her eyes taking in a soft glow as she stared off into the distance, forgetting everyone around her as her thoughts traveled farther than her eyes could see. "Maybe this time, I'll be able to make sure that my precious people are safe once and for all. And maybe, even if he can't recognize me anymore—" her voice dropped into a raw, barely audible whisper. "—maybe I can finally let him know, before I really let him go."

Sasuke forced down the painful heat that had formed in his throat. How could her mere words affect him so?

_Let him go?_

He swallowed the peculiar bitterness that had risen within him.

"And I know Baa-chan would hunt me down anyway," she added in a louder voice. "Plus Sakura-chan would slug me with her Fists of Doom if I stay away longer. Maybe Kakashi-sensei too. That pervert would probably use Mangekyou and make me do weird stuff like force me to listen to his Icha Icha narration for 72 hours. Sai can't do anything with me but maybe he'd just grope again for a whole day. I've always known that Sai-baka was a pervert! Yeah, that time in the onse—uso! Yamato-sempai can't show me his scary face anymore! Oh yeah, Kakashi-sensei can't trap me either!" Naruto slapped her forehead. "So I only have to watch out for Sakura-chan then!" She suddenly grew silent, as if just realizing that she had blabbered too much.

While her babble amused him—except where she talked about Sai, and he'll _make sure to teach that retarded pervert a lesson_—Sasuke was left with more questions and reminded of those he had before. "How did you know Sakura and Kakashi?"

She was silent for a moment, as if weighing her answer, before her lips formed into a strange smile. "We were teammates."

He had this strong feeling that something else lurked behind her words, but Sasuke nodded in understanding nonetheless. It made perfect sense. It also answered how she knew Sai and Yamato. They probably became teammates in the four years—almost five—that he had been gone from Konoha. Strangely enough, though, he couldn't remember any mention from Sakura about another teammate while he was gone.

Must have been a brief team-up, he reasoned. Creation of new teams wasn't anything new, especially for special reasons. But she's the Rokudaime, a part of him argued. Surely she would have been mentioned at least once.

_But there's the law, right?_

This time, it was Sasuke who cleared his throat. "Hyuuga mentioned a law concerning you." When he was met with a raised eyebrow, he went on. "Why was that imposed?"

Hearing a mutter that suspiciously sounded like _"must castrate Neji-baka_,_"_ Naruto shook her head cheerfully. "Saa, it's a long and boring story. Best left to history, that one. Anyway—" a fair eyebrow rose, "—how's Uchiha-sama the past years? I would've expected teeny-tiny Uchiha overrunning the village right now."

Sasuke's right eyebrow twitched.

"Maa, Sasuke-san," Naruto said, grinning cheekily. "Everybody knows about your goals. Shouldn't you have a wifey and little kiddies already? I'm sure every single female around are falling in line to get the chance to become _Uchiha-san_."

"Not looking for one," he retorted. _Kami_, his comebacks. So childish!

"But the poor girls!" she exclaimed. "Surely you can't deny the pretty girls! A lot of them were pretty, if I remember right. Anou sa, anou sa! Are you dating Sakura-chan? You two look cute together!"

Both of his eyebrows were twitching beyond his control now. "Don't be ridiculous."

Naruto snorted. "Whatever." Her voice lowered. "But seriously now, Sasuke-san. Shouldn't you be, you know, kinda settled and reviving your clan? I mean, it's your dream, right? Maybe you're not sold on the idea of belonging completely to someone, but—" she rubbed her nape again, her face turning away. "—you don't want to be alone for the rest of your life, na?"

His breath caught on his throat. _Strange_, he thought. Strange that she would bring up something that he had been mulling over the past day. Stranger still how his heart began tripping so fast at the thought that maybe, just maybe, he needed not be—

—not be alone anymore.

_The hell that came from?_

"But you don't have to answer!" she suddenly exclaimed, waving her arms around. "It's very personal, I know." Naruto suddenly sprang up and began picking up her empty ramen cups. "Well, I have to visit some people, Sasuke-san. Ja!"

"I don't want to be alone," Sasuke murmured. Naruto froze from where she stood. He turned away, his face warm—his confession was unintentional and he hadn't felt such odd vulnerability before. He couldn't bring himself to look at her after this—this lapse. And yet he couldn't stop himself from glancing at her, before he caught himself and quickly glanced away again.

He felt like a stupid child.

"You?" he whispered, almost—shy.

The question seemed to break Naruto from her trance. She turned around, busying herself with clearing her trash. "It's not as if I have a choice," she replied breezily. "I'm a jinchuuriki. No one deserves that."

Sasuke's eyes widened. _A jinchuuriki? The last jinchuuriki is from Konoha?_ He could vaguely recall his encounter with the Hachibi during his stint with the Akatsuki—the battle was hard-won. He remembered that bastard Madara's obsession with possessing the last bijuu, the most powerful youma of all. Kyuubi no Youko, the youkai he had summoned years ago. _In Konoha_, he thought, wanting to hit himself. How could he have forgotten that Madara wanted to destroy Konoha and tried to do it using the Kyuubi before?

_Is that why they hate her?_

"So?" Sasuke asked, his tone cold. _You have a choice, idiot. What does being a jinchuuriki have to do with that?_

_You don't have to be alone._

Naruto started in surprise but didn't answer. Sasuke stood up as well, placing his now empty dishes into the sink. He opened the faucet and began washing. His ears picked up the almost inaudible shifting of her cloak before it was completely silent in the kitchen again.

He sighed softly. One of them almost always stepped away from a conversation with ill feelings. _And it's just morning_. He stifled a groan. He can't believe it's just morning.

_But_—Sasuke allowed himself a smile. But he _liked_ it. Having breakfast with her. And talking. _No, not talking_, he corrected himself. Listening. Listening to her talk. It was nice. He didn't find it hard to imagine at all, listening to her go on and on for an entire day. In fact, he didn't mind it at all if she spoke for an entire day.

If it meant she'll be there.

He dried his hands on a washcloth then turned around, his eyes fluttering shut as he leaned on the sink. He didn't mind greatly if she'd stay with him longer. He didn't mind getting to know more about her. Her and her secrets, and how the more he knew, the less he really did. How the more they were together, the more it felt natural. How the more she smiled, the more he wanted to smile back. How the more he stayed around her, the less he wanted to be away from her.

How he couldn't ignore it any longer.

_What have you done to me?_

How a part of his mind kept screaming to never let this stranger leave again—

"Don't leave."

—and how another part of his mind kept whispering that he was too late.

The words had escaped his lips without his bidding, like a small sob flying out when least expected.

"Don't leave..."

His eyes shot open when he heard a soft voice.

"I'm sorry."

_Was she there the whole time?_

His chest tightened and his fists clenched against the sudden wave of fear that crashed into him. His breathing grew harsher, his hand blindly reaching out a hand, his vision getting blurry and unfocused from the unbidden heat behind his eyes.

_Why?_

But he couldn't move himself from where he stood, and she couldn't see from where she herself had hidden her eyes.

_Why couldn't I reach you too?_

As if finally realizing what he was doing, he sharply drew his hand back and forced it back to his side. He shook his head bleakly, hiding his face with the fringes of his hair from the only one around who couldn't even see him. Where did these thoughts keep coming from? What's happening to him?

_Why are you sorry?_

"But—" Sasuke looked up. There was a slight tilt on the corner of her lips, and his breath hitched when it turned into a full-blown smile.

_I like her smile._

"—in the meantime, we can be alone together."

With a last smile and a jaunty salute, she turned and left the kitchen. He vaguely heard a door open before it shut again, leaving the house in its familiar silence as the one with hair to rival the sun went out to greet the fast-concluding morning.

Sasuke broke into a rare, pure smile.

"I'd like that."

* * *

"Sasuke-san?"

He turned away, a slight color in his smooth, almost translucent cheeks. "Hn."

"Er..." Naruto hardly paused in her steps as she turned her head to him. "You coulda told me to wait, y'know."

"Hn."

Sasuke glanced at her before looking away again. It had taken him two minutes to snap out of his daze before the realization that the blonde went out had sunk in. He always had speed by his side, and he used it to his advantage when he brushed his teeth, bathed, dressed, and used Shunshin an adequate distance away from her, appearing beside her fifteen minutes after she had left.

After the uncanny panic he had felt earlier with her _disappearance_, he wasn't quite ready to lose sight of her yet.

And he didn't hurry at all.

"So... where you to?" Naruto asked, skipping like a child beside him. While a part of his mind mused that she was only a couple of inches shorter than he was, half of his mind racked for a plausible answer befitting an Uchiha of incisive wit.

"Shopping."

Sasuke was fast remembering why he didn't like to talk. And he was fast realizing as well that he wasn't as smooth as everyone seemed to believe he was.

Him included.

"... Okay. Didn't expect that," Naruto admitted before chuckling. "For what?"

The half of his mind that had noticed their height difference couldn't get over how tall she was for a woman, and that same train of thought was beginning to ask questions he never had before. Did he like tall girls? Did he notice tall girls before? Did he like girls at all? He rarely liked people after all—

The witty part had silenced after his previous answer before forcing his mouth to blurt out the first answer that came into his mind.

"You."

His steps faltered but he quickly caught himself. Beside him, Naruto had no qualms against showing her understandably surprised reaction to the answer.

"_Eh?_"

Sasuke's steps quickened, now intent on getting as far away as possible. He couldn't berate himself enough for being so damn _stupid_.

"You're shopping for _me_?" Naruto asked, catching up with his long strides.

His eyes darted to her before staring back ahead. Now that he thought about it, it didn't seem like a bad idea. As his thinking deepened, he realized that he rather liked it.

"Yes."

Imagining her in clothes with the _uchiwa_ crest seemed to be a good hobby right now—

_What?_

"But why?" she asked. "Oi, slow down! Sasuke-san!"

Sasuke did slow his steps, a slim eyebrow rising. "You don't have clothes."

"I do so have clothes!" Naruto shot back. "And I like them!"

He couldn't stop himself from snorting. "Idiot. That's a _cloak_. You didn't even change into the sleep wear I lent you."

The blonde stuck out a tongue. "Try it sometimes. It's really comfortable."

Sasuke wrinkled his nose as a thought entered his mind. "Did you bathe at all?"

"Of course I did!" Naruto exploded. "You woulda seen me take a bath if you woke up early, bastard!"

His mind _didn't_ just conjure images of water rolling down a tan neck. Or even steam fogging up the glass in his bathroom, a flash of bronze contrasting starkly with the spotlessly white tiles. He didn't contemplate waking up earlier tomorrow either.

As he breathed evenly through sheer will, Sasuke wondered why he had to feel the effects of Kakashi's presence _now _after all these years.

"You have to change out of it," he said flatly. "You don't seem to like my clothes so I'll buy you new ones instead."

"But Sa—"

"You won't stay in my house wearing the same thing." No matter what hides underneath that shapeless black cloth, Sasuke knew that he wouldn't—_didn't_—give a shit.

_Stop hiding everything._

Naruto sighed. "Sasuke-san. You don't have to, 'kay? I'm fine with your clothes. I like them. But give me this, please? It's stupid but I'm not comfy without 'em. Now if we really can't agree on this—" she paused before smiling up at him. "—thank you for your hospitality, Sasuke-san."

"Just like that?" he asked, pausing on his step to look at her. Sasuke knew he was being irrational yet again, demanding of someone he had met only a day ago, but _fuck_ he couldn't help himself. There's a lot about her he couldn't help himself with.

Naruto smiled sheepishly, yanking on a long spike of golden hair hanging above her hitai'ate. "Well, I know you're stubborn. And _I'm_ stubborn. So before we get into a fistfight—yeah."

"Fine. Wear it," Sasuke bit out, turning away. He was getting another strange urge. This time to _pout_, of all things. Where the hell did his maturity go?

He missed the triumphant grin that flashed on her features.

They began walking again, and only then did Sasuke realize where they were heading. He resisted the urge to give an uncharacteristic groan of exasperation as the familiar path greeted him once more.

"Didn't we have breakfast earlier?" he pointed out. Naruto nodded. "Then what are we doing here?"

"I know what I'm doing here," she said. "Now what _you're_ doing here, that I don't know."

Damn. He didn't have an answer to that.

"I'm just making sure you don't run into anything," he replied, snorting. "But didn't we just have breakfast?" he insisted. Sasuke knew he was beginning to sound like a broken record, but after hearing how well it sounded, he liked it now, that little word.

"Heard ya the first."

"So why are we here again?" That word again.

"Again, I know why I'm here but I don't know about you!" Naruto repeated, getting exasperated with the repeated questions. "I guessed it'd have been obvious by now that I won't run into anything, _right_?"

Sasuke couldn't resist. "But didn't we—"

"Arrrgh! You're so annoying!" Naruto howled, throwing her arms up. "Okay! We are here because _you_ followed _me_. So we are _here_. Now _I'm_ here to buy ramen, and _you_ are here to—" she raised her fingers, making quotation marks in the air, "—_"make sure I don't run into anything."_ That's why _we_ are _here_. Happy?"

He bit back the maddening urge to grin. It was amusing to see her in an agitated state—he realized he liked it as well. Most especially, he liked hearing that small word coming from her.

"Hn."

_We._

So ordinary but so significant.

—And he didn't know he could stoop so low as to be sentimental over a damned pronoun. Why was he being sentimental anyway? Was age finally catching up on him? Effect of solitude, perhaps?

Naruto snorted. "If I didn't know any better, you actually are," she mumbled, causing Sasuke to almost falter yet again. "Geez. You're like a parrot!_'Didn't we?'_ _'Why are we?'_," she mimicked, lowering her voice in imitation of his deep bass. "I'd say you might even like—"

Sasuke sensed it the same instance Naruto stopped in her tracks—an erratic yet intense chakra signature rushing behind them with uncanny urgency. It was familiar in its power yet unfamiliar in its fierceness, familiar in its rhythm yet unfamiliar in its abandon. Familiar yet unfamiliar at the same time, as if the person had no semblance of control over emotions right now.

Lily-white arms wrapped around the waist of Naruto's cloak, contrasting beautifully with the absolute blackness of the cloth.

"Sakura-chan," Naruto choked out in a ragged whisper. "_Sakura-chan._"

"_Naruto_," her voice came out as a muffled sob as she buried her face deeper into the blonde's back. "Naruto, Naruto, Naruto."

Sasuke watched, his chest tightening as Naruto lowered her head, as if not wanting anyone to see what she was feeling right now. His heart throbbed like hell—the way she uttered his ex-teammate's name, the way she couldn't—_wouldn't_—move from the medic jounin's tight embrace, the way she depicted _yearning_ in the truest, purest sense of the word—

It hurt.

_Why does it hurt to look at you?_

All these ugly, _suffocating_ feelings coming out to hurt him—

"Naruto..." Haruno Sakura lifted an arm as the other wrapped tighter, the freed hand rubbing at watery green eyes that keep shedding tears. "You're back for good, ne, Naruto? Tsunade-shishou told me you're taking your position again. Ne, Naruto?"

_Taking… your position again?_

"Are you crying?" Naruto finally asked, sounding incredulous. She swiftly turned around and touched Sakura's cheeks, wonder dawning in her features as she felt the evidence of the other woman's intense emotions. "You're crying because I'm back?" she murmured, awed. The hand on Sakura's cheek began wiping the tears that fell harder. "You're really crying—like—"

"_Baka!_ Of course I'm crying!" Sakura retorted without force. "You're gone for what, ten years? If I hadn't made you promise, you—" she tried to bite back a sob, failing miserably, "—you wouldn't have returned at all. _You wouldn't have returned at all!_"

"Aw, Sakura-chan, stop crying!" Naruto pleaded. "I feel so awful now!"

"You should be, you _idiot__!_"

Then Naruto did something Sasuke would never, ever want to see again—

She lowered her face to the still-crying woman, kissing the tears that fell from her eyes.

"Sakura-chan, please don't cry anymore," she murmured, tucking the pink-haired kunoichi under her chin. Sakura's sobs slowly turned into child-like hiccups as she nodded weakly. Next to them, forgotten, stood the last Uchiha, his stomach churning and his heart twisting violently within him.

In the years that she had pined over him as a genin, chased after him when he left Konoha, Sasuke had never so _loathed_ the existence of one Haruno Sakura as he did now.

_Are they—Do they_—

He couldn't—_wouldn't—_form a question, so he settled for a statement instead.

_What the fuck._

"Oh. Hello, Sasuke-kun," Sakura suddenly said, lifting her tear-stained face to give him a tremulous smile, stepping away from her comfortable position. Sasuke truly wanted to hurt the kunoichi, and not because she was late in greeting him.

He watched with a blank expression as she looked at him curiously, before swiftly returning her gaze to the taller woman. "Wait. You're together?"

He fought the irrational urge to pull Naruto away from Sakura. _Yes! Yes we are!_

A snort drove his attention away from his vicious thoughts. They watched as Naruto alternated between controlling her apparent glee and reining in her mirth, causing her to snort again. Her amusement won and she ended up laughing, the two giving her strange looks.

"You know what just happened, Sakura-_chan?_" Naruto asked, drawing her name out almost into a song.

The pink-haired woman eyed her warily, lifting her eyes from the handkerchief she was drying them with. "What?"

"I just kissed you and you let me! Like the last time!" Naruto crowed. She stepped closer to Sakura, lowering her mouth to her ears and her voice taking in a huskier timbre. "Does that mean you'd go out with me now?"

Despite himself, Sasuke felt a shiver of electricity jolt down his spine. Sakura, meanwhile, had turned almost as pink as her hair. Her fist rose as a feral gleam appeared in her eyes, before stopping short as her eyebrows furrowed.

"Something's different..." she murmured almost to herself, before the fist opened and began touching Naruto's face. Jade-green eyes narrowed as she turned the tanned head to one side and to the other. Sasuke watched as another hand shot up—

—and began groping Uzumaki Naruto's chest.

Sasuke froze in shock as the medic jounin began squeezing and pulling around the blonde's torso, her hands roaming where he believed no one had business fucking _touching_.

_Women don't greet each other that way!_

"Sakura-chan!" the blonde whined. "Not you too! Did you and that Sai planned this? _'Let's feel up Naruto when the idiot gets back!'_ Is that it?"

"Not Oiroke then," Sakura muttered, ignoring her. "So what's this? And you're thinner, baka."

_Not sexy?_

Naruto pulled her hands down and drew her closer. The blonde lowered her lips to the medic jounin's other ear, whispering until the other drew back, nodding hesitantly.

_What_—

"So you are heading there?" Sakura asked, pointing to her immediate right. Sasuke shrugged while Naruto raised a fist with an affirmative yell. She shook her head with a little smile as she followed the enthusiastic blonde, Sasuke following behind them in irritation.

Who invited her anyway?

"Five bowls of miso ramen, Ojii-san!" Naruto announced. "Take-out!"

"Not eating here?" Sakura asked in surprise, settling down on the blonde's left after the latter plopped down. Sasuke sank down on his usual spot, on Naruto's right.

"I'm visiting Iruka-sensei," she answered cheerfully. "It's Saturday and there's no school today. I'm sure I can visit now. He'd probably kill me so I'm treating him to ramen for a change. Ramen can melt anyone," Naruto ended with a confident grin.

"Gaki," Teuchi greeted heartily. "Five take-outs coming up!"

"Green tea for me, Teuchi-san," Sakura said, smiling. She leaned forward to look at her brooding, dark-haired friend. "How about you, Sasuke-kun?"

He didn't want anything but Sasuke didn't want to sit beside Naruto inside Ichiraku without ordering anything. "Green tea."

"How's mission, Sakura-chan?" Naruto asked, finally settling down.

The medic shook her head as her pink eyebrows knotted together. "There was a strange skirmish but otherwise, it's the same."

"Strange how?"

Sakura bit on her lower lip. Sasuke watched irritably as Naruto reached out to pat the medic's head after sensing her hesitation. Sakura wasn't one to hesitate if she thought there were no repercussions. She had always been by-the-book, Sasuke knew all too well. "It's okay. It's a mission, you don't have to tell me anything." The hand remained, however, patting reassuringly and not without a touch of slight curiosity until it glided down.

"You grew your hair longer," Naruto remarked. Sakura nodded. "You looked really cute with short hair, but I think I've always liked you in longer hair. Guess I prefer long hair on girls, huh?" She tilted her head, her hand going back to prop her chin. "You must be really beautiful now, Sakura-chan."

The churning in Sasuke's stomach returned as the thought he had earlier denied fruition returned with vehement force.

_She prefers girls?_

"Still the flatterer," Sakura retorted, though her tone didn't hide how pleased she was. She lightly punched the blonde on the arm. "You. You have a lot of explaining to do. We have a lot of catching up because _some idiot_ decided to take ten years to climb down."

_Climb down?_

Naruto chuckled. "Still remember?" She didn't wait for an answer as she drummed her fingers on the table. "I'm glad. But we reached the moon so it's all good, ne?"

"Naruto..." Sakura trailed off, a smile with apparent fondness blooming on her lips.

Sasuke was annoyed that he couldn't understand anything they were talking about—they were conversing in a language from a world all their own. He was, against himself, envious—deep down he wanted to have someone like that, someone he could talk to in riddles and stories and codes only they could understand. Someone he didn't have to say a word to at all and still would understand. Someone who would understand more than he understood himself.

A part of him ached.

_Phantom pain_, his mind supplied from nowhere.

"So—I don't sense any Haruno babies yet," Naruto remarked, grinning. "Didn't Sai ask again? Or are you—" Sasuke watched Naruto bit the inside of her cheeks. "—Rock Sakura now?"

"I'd pummel you after this," Sakura promised.

"Or maybe you were really waiting for me, na? What was it?" A hand thoughtfully rubbed on a chin. "_Uzumaki Sakura doesn't sound so bad?_"

The ache grew.

"I'd pry your teeth one by one and kick your mouth for good measure. After my tea," Sakura said with a sweet smile.

"Sakura-chan," Naruto whined, before breaking into a playful grin. "But I have to get to Iruka-sensei first. He probably learned that I'm back already and well... he's scarier than you."

There was a sound of crackling knuckles and a whimper before Sasuke intervened with a cough. The two stopped—Sakura from advancing and Naruto from backing away—and turned to him, a questioning look from the former and a pair of raised eyebrows from the latter.

"Sasuke-san?"

He noted with interest when Sakura drew a sharp breath and turned to the other woman. Naruto went on, as if unaware of the other's reaction. "What is it?"

"Will you be at Iruka the whole day?" he inquired politely.

"Anou, I'm heading back at Neji's then Sakura-chan's after," Naruto answered, before returning her attention to Sakura. "You're not busy, na?"

"As if," she scoffed with a smile. "_Someone_ insisted I get a vacation."

"Yatta!" Naruto cheered, before waggling her eyebrows with an impish smile. "Can I sleep over?"

"You're not returning?" Sasuke asked quickly, alarmed by the question.

It was Sakura's turn to ask, a trimmed eyebrow raised. "Returning where?"

"Here's your takeout, Naruto," Teuchi said, placing a plastic bag with five takeout ramen before her. "On the house."

Immediately forgetting their conversation, Naruto raised her arms and cheered. "You're the best, Ojii-san! May Ramen-sama bless you with eternal life!"

Teuchi laughed and the blonde joined in. Giving a thumbs-up sign, Naruto picked up her order. "Thanks again, Jiji!"

"Tell Ayame to come by later," Teuchi called out.

"I wi—Wait. What?"

"Naruto," Sakura said, a smile in her voice. "Iruka-sensei and Ayame-san are married."

"WHAAAAAAAAT?"

"Yes."

"Iruka-sensei and Ayame-neechan? So they were hitting on each other while I innocently finished Iruka-sensei's treats?"

"Run along before the ramen gets cold," Teuchi said, grinning smugly at the stupefied reaction on Naruto's face that made way into a bright grin of her own. "Ayame's excited to see you."

"I will I will!" Naruto said, laughing. "Ja, minna!"

"Wa—" Sasuke said, his motion almost toppling his stool. His dark eyes widened when he was met with empty air.

Naruto was gone.

He gritted his teeth as he sat back down. His green tea had arrived and he drank it all in one furious swoop, almost choking on the boiling liquid, relishing the pain from the scalding heat. It was nothing compared to what he was feeling right now.

Sensing eyes on him, he turned to his left to see a pair of green eyes looking at him.

"Sasuke-kun, is Naruto staying with you?" she asked after a lengthy silence. Sasuke merely grunted.

"Do you—" Sakura started again, hesitating before continuing. "Do you know Naruto?"

"She's the Rokudaime."

Sasuke watched in puzzlement as an expression he could only classify as _despair_ settled on her face. His eyes narrowed at her whispered inquiry.

"She?"

"Uzumaki," he said, a prickle of ice suddenly touching the back of his neck.

"Sasuke-kun," Sakura said in a strange, heart-broken voice. Unconsciously, Sasuke drew in a deep breath.

"Naruto is a _guy_."


	10. Her Eyes That Saw the Dawn

**The Sky  
**

_by Hic Iacet Mori_

* * *

**Her Eyes that Saw the Dawn**

She began a tradition the year after they left.

Once a year, curious passers-by would see a familiar pink-haired girl sitting on a white bench as she faced the sunset. With the way her apple-green eyes flickered and dimmed, they knew that her thoughts were far from where she sat—perhaps she was remembering a time gone by, perhaps she was remembering someone special, perhaps she was dreaming of a time yet to come, or perhaps she truly _was_ waiting for someone—perhaps she was doing all these, but no one really knew for certain and no one ventured to ask.

She only took a break from her thoughts when familiar white hands drape a shawl to cover her from the night chill, a familiar light-blonde hair in a high ponytail disappearing into the night. She would silently thank her friend before turning back to the stars, for knowing her physical need enough to stay around and understanding her emotional need enough to stay away. Because while she trained every day, harder and harder to ensure she got stronger, what she could really do was sit on this particular bench once a year and dream of a night that started and ended in a different way.

And she allowed herself to cry, on that particular night once a year, for what could have been and what could still be. She wept for her dream and wept for _his _dream, and she wept for her weakness that helped _him_ succumb to _his_. She also wept for her wish and wept for his wish, and wept for her faith that fueled that promise of his.

_(**he** existed for the past and he breathed for the future, and she lived in the present and prayed for a moment)_

Most of all she wept, for their loss and their brokenness, and how they had to be apart for a chance to be whole.

Early risers would see a weary girl forcing herself up on that white bench, raising her arms as she greeted the sun and yelled words _(shannaro!)_ of burning determination _(dattebayo!)_. She would laugh for a moment as she wiped away her tears, and with nary a look back she would slowly take her leave. The night was over and the day had come—one boy had left and another would come back, and while she cried once a year as she waited for the former, she would laugh everyday as she waited for the latter.

The night held the tears that had no place in the morning. The blue sky held a promise and the sun would always come.

* * *

Six months after Naruto came back, Sakura's tradition changed.

She didn't know why he was there or how he knew she took to sitting on that bench on that particular day or if he _really _knew at all, but suddenly he was there and she never thought to question his presence. The sun was setting when he sank beside her, silent and unmoving as if he wasn't there at all. They hardly saw the sunset from where they sat, but they saw the full moon hovering on the trees and completing the night sky of Konoha. It looked so near but however close it appeared, she knew no one could reach out and actually touch it.

"Someday I will."

Sakura turned to her companion, surprised at his words and the mere fact that he broke the silence. "Will what?"

"Reach the moon," he answered with nonchalance. His eyes never left the night sky as he went on _(his eyes always looked up)_. "It's not impossible, you know. Just with the right amount of determination." He turned to her, his blue eyes glowing_ (they never lose their light)_. "Just because everyone thought so doesn't make it so. That's not even enough to stop you from trying. When you try and fail, just try again."

_(and he never stopped trying)_

He leaned back and shrugged. "Sure, others would probably say you're stupid or crazy, trying to reach the moon, but it's between you and the moon and their opinions are worth shit. For all we know, the moon was just waiting for someone to reach it. I mean, come on, see how arrogant it looks down on everyone, the bitch. It only comes out at night so we had no choice but to look at it. It obviously wanted to be noticed. Attention whore can't live without it, I think."

Throughout her teammate's monologue, Sakura's wide eyes had softened _(he always made sense somehow)_ until she dissolved into light laughter. Naruto threw her a smile of his own before returning his gaze to the moon.

"And it's probably lonely too, you know," he continued, softer. "Only one up there. 'S enough reason that someone at least try to reach it. 'Course, the moon doesn't get any nearer. Probably never will, but maybe there's a tree out there that's tall enough to reach it. If not, well... trees can live thousands of years, na?—and maybe then a tree can be tall enough to climb on.

"So... we just climb higher and higher until there's a tree high enough. We just never give up," he turned back to her, meeting her green eyes with his blue. "We just never give up, Sakura-chan."

_(he never even gave up on her)_

The sobs she had been forcing back with laughter finally broke through. She allowed herself to be protected from the night chill by strong arms wrapping around her, allowed herself to be comforted by the presence of the only other person who truly understood. Only he could understand what sitting on that bench on that particular night every year meant to her, for only he had a heart great enough to understand and only he had a heart great enough to be hurt and to forgive.

While Sakura cried for both of them, Naruto looked up the moon for all of them.

Her sobs slowly abated and she leaned back on his chest, feeling lighter than she had in years. She could feel the comforting rhythm of his heartbeat and the warmth of his even breathing, and for the first time in three years when that time comes, she felt safe enough to sleep.

Safe in the knowledge that when she woke up next morning, no other person important to her would have passed by the white bench and left her without a glance.

* * *

None of them ever mentioned what happened. They went on their usual merry way—training, doing missions, punching Naruto on Sakura's side, teasing Sakura on Naruto's side, and chasing after their teammate who had strayed a little too far from home. A lot of people had urged them to give up, and a lot of times they had been left for dead, but they still held on to a part of _him_ that they believed was still there, the part that will always belong to Team Seven and to Konoha.

They continued the tradition they began the following year. No words were spoken between them on the morning of that day, but by the time the sun was setting, they were there on the bench, sitting side by side in contemplative silence until the moon hovered on the forest once more. As she did the past three years, Sakura allowed herself the tears she never shed on any other day of the year, and Naruto sat in silence with an arm around her shoulders.

"I think," Sakura said quietly, tear tracks still evident though her sobs had subsided, "the only thing good that happened after—after he left is that I'm not the girl I used to be." Her voice took a tone of nostalgia. "I hate who I was."

Beside her, Naruto shifted, looking at her. She tilted her head and looked back into contemplative eyes that were clear and blue.

"Don't."

Her eyebrows furrowed and Naruto gave a crooked smile. "Don't hate who you were. It's still a part of you. And it's the part that made you realize you needed to change. So... don't hate her.

"And—" Her green eyes were wide with surprise and tears were threatening to fall once more, Naruto raising a finger to scratch a tan cheek dusted in pink. "Anou... I like her."

A soft, sad smile made its way to her lips. "How could you like her? She's hardly nice to you."

Naruto smiled. "She wasn't afraid to show me what she thought of me."

There was that glow in his blue eyes again, the glow that Sakura especially loved in his eyes. She didn't know what that glow meant, but she knew it could only be equaled by a certain smile from him and a certain touch of his. Because Naruto, with his perversion and brashness and roughness and infuriating obstinacy and _brightness_, had the sweetest smile she had ever seen and the gentlest touch she had ever felt.

And while Naruto had more than his fair share of faults, Sakura loved all of him nonetheless.

_I...do?_

She felt warmth suffuse her body and tenderness stir in her heart. Her thoughts went back to the past years and how natural being around each other had become, and she mentally smacked herself for her inconceivable _stupidity_. Sakura knew that Naruto had become someone irreplaceable in her life—she just hadn't realized how much.

Until that night, when she wept for their brokenness for the last time.

Because Sakura knew there would be no more tears after this night. There would be no more tears over _him_, over whose name they never mentioned on this day of the year. Not because they didn't care anymore, not because they had given up, not because she didn't love _that_ boy, _man_, anymore—but because Sakura had someone who loved her more than life itself, and someone she finally loved back with equal measure.

_(because Naruto never did anything halfway and Sakura realized he had never liked her halfway even then and here, here was someone she couldn't be afraid to love just as much as she could)_

Somewhere along the way they had grown up and grown together—his aggravating infatuation had mellowed into something more sincere, and her exasperated affection had deepened into something more profound. Because Naruto (_clumsy, awkward Naruto with a mouth rivaled only by his heart_) was her brother and Sakura _(useless, selfish Sakura with a fist rivaled only by her spirit)_ was his sister, and it was a love pure and real only they could complete with each other. And while a part of her wished to love him—_knew_ could love him—as a lover did, Sakura knew that it wouldn't be as genuine as what they already had.

_(for what could be more real than the flawed perfection they already had?)_

"I'm so stupid," Sakura murmured. Naruto gave her a sideways glance before snickering. "What?" she asked irritably. The idiot just really asked for it a lot.

"You're the smart one, Sakura-chan," Naruto said, grinning. "If you're stupid, that means I would be smart, na?"

She gave a little smile. "So you admit you're stupid."

"Hey, it's not like I don't know." He shrugged. "And I don't need to be so smart because you can be smart for the both of us anyway."

She closed her eyes, the small smile on her face. "You're not stupid, Naruto," she said softly, eyes still closed. "You just feel too much and don't think things through as much." A green eye opened wryly. "Kinda like me, except my big forehead makes sure I think too much first."

Naruto snorted. "Your forehead's not that big. 'Sides," he beamed at her. "Sai would be calling you Forehead instead of Ugly, na?"

Her fist rose and smacked him on the head. As Naruto whined, Sakura allowed herself a secret smile.

_(just like what a true sister would do)_

She yawned and Naruto immediately stopped whining. She allowed her eyes to droop close, and she felt him ease her slowly until she was lying on his lap. And there she felt it, that rare gentle touch that could lull her into sleep with a smile. She needn't stay up to greet the dawn, needn't wave her fists and laugh. Her morning was coaxing her to sleep, and he would wake her later to a brand new day.

And she would wake because the sun will be there.

* * *

"I swear it was an accident! Baa-chan forced the eggs on me and Kakashi-sensei thought it's funny if I add whipped cream and Kiba said Shino would kill me if I do anything to the bugs and_ I swear it's an accident!_"

Sakura raised irate green eyes to her red-faced teammate. "What are you talking about?"

Naruto inched further away for good measure. "Uh. Nothing?" He flinched when the medic chuunin squeezed the log into splinters with her bare hand. "Sakura-chan?" he squeaked when she punched another innocent tree.

"THE IDIOT ASKED ME TO MARRY HIM!" Sakura exploded.

His mind blanked out, and it needed a good shaking from the kunoichi before his mind started functioning again.

"... Lee?"

_"Sai!"_

"W-W-What!"

Another thrashing from Sakura revived his dying brain cells. Naruto's blue eyes widened as his eyebrow twitched. "Sai asked you to marry _him__?_" he asked, words coming out higher than normal with each word, the last word rising into an admirable falsetto. His head mechanically swerved to the fuming girl's direction. "What did you say?"

"Of course I said no!" she screeched, soundly defeating his pitch.

Naruto tilted his head. "So why are you so upset? Is it because Sai has—" he almost choked before catching himself. "—_feelings_ for you?"

He flinched again when burning green eyes swiveled to his direction. "Do you know what he said after I rejected his _proposal__?_"

Naruto looked very, very afraid to breathe.

"He said—" Sakura paused, eyes narrowed into impossible slits as the infuriating _smile_ flashed in her mind. "—He said _"GOOD"__!_"

Naruto was waiting for her to continue, and only the growing hole under Sakura's impatiently tapping foot clued him in that she was waiting for him. He nervously raised a hand to scratch his nape.

"Anou sa... at least he didn't take it bad?" he asked as his eyes darted around, looking for the quickest escape route. Sakura noted what he was doing. She knew he could use Shunshin in this situation, but she would stop him if he started doing the hand seals.

And break his fingers for even _thinking_ of doing it.

"Na. ru. _to._"

"Sa—S-S-Sakura-ch... ch-ch-_chan?_"

She forcefully closed her eyes and breathed deeply, counting to twenty. When she opened them again, there was resigned exasperation.

"Nothing, baka."

It's not his fault that he didn't understand how Sai's stupid response annoyed her. Or how it would piss off _every girl_ who heard it. This person before her was, after all, a _guy_. And not just any guy, but the most clueless, densest guy to ever float the world.

Her eyes narrowed when she heard a sound. It was unmistakable in the afternoon silence.

Naruto was snorting.

And Sakura suddenly saw the humor in the situation and allowed herself a little smile. Naruto, seeing her reaction, decided to stop holding in his snickers and guffawed.

As the sun bathed the forest with the late afternoon glow, the sounds of laughter echoed within the verdant sanctuary. It was a few minutes before either could stop at all.

"Wonder where Sai read that from," Naruto asked aloud, catching his breath. "But now that you rejected him, he won't be _Haruno Sai_ anymore. You stole his chance to have a surname!"

Sakura punched the most clueless, densest guy to ever float the world.

"Itai..." Naruto mumbled, rubbing his cheek. Sakura gave him a withering look and rolled her eyes.

"The idiot probably didn't even know what _marry_ means."

Naruto turned to her with a speculative look. The shining mischief didn't fool her. "Hey Sakura-chan, how does _Aburame Sakura_ sound like?"

She twitched as his smile widened. "Naruto."

"Nope. Too long. And you dislike bugs anyway," Naruto answered his own question, getting into his game. "_Inuzuka Sakura?_ You can be a dog tamer!"

Against herself, Sakura found herself snickering along. Beside her, Naruto's eyes lit up at her obvious amusement.

"_Hyuuga Sakura?_" he asked mock-thoughtfully. She giggled while shaking her head. "Oh yeah, Tenten had some of Hyuuga playing in her hands already, and if Neji doesn't ask soon, she just might become Hyuuga Tenten but not because of him."

Sakura's mouth dropped open before she laughed. "_Neji-san?_ Afraid of asking out Tenten-san?"

"Don't tell him or he'll kill me," Naruto said, grinning. "I saw him one time and he vowed me to secrecy. He was getting panicked because his uncle commented that some _'useless idiot Hatori'_ and _'weak talentless Homura'_ were talking about Tenten." The blond snickered. "She dropped by his place because he left his scroll after training and some of his kinsmen saw her. Then _'Hinata-sama'_ mentioned to him that _'sick bastard cousin Hotaru'_ was asking where Tenten likes to go. _'Hanabi-sama'_ also declared that she wanted her to be her weapons teacher."

"I didn't know that!" Sakura exclaimed, awed that Naruto knew more gossip than her. And about the stoic Hyuuga, no less.

He shrugged, a smirk on his face as he remembered his neighbor. "Tenten is as far as a Hyuuga can get. 'Course they'd be very, _very_ interested," he said, a knowing gleam in his eyes. "And she has a nice ass. Not big up there but she has very long legs too. Like the showgirls Ero-sennin used to talk about."

"_Naruto!_"

"Sakura-chan," he whined, rubbing his sore head. "What's so bad about admiring the assets of people?"

"Stop being such a pervert," she admonished. "And Neji-san will kill you when he hears that!"

"He didn't kill me," he mumbled. "He just sent me to the hospital. That wussy bastard."

Sakura bit back a smile. So that was why he had been in a full-body cast, a day before she left on a mission two months ago.

"Anyway!" Naruto said, brightening again. "How about _Nara Sakura?_" At the girl's eye-roll, he grinned. "Yeah, Temari. _Akimichi Sakura?_"

She shook her head. Ino was secretly very fond of Chouji, and something deeper might grow from there.

"_Hatake Sakura?_"

They looked at each other and shuddered. Sakura sometimes had a crush on their sensei, depending on how cool he was being, but she disliked his mind games and his closet perversion. He went everywhere with his precious Icha Icha after all.

"How about becoming _Sabaku no Sakura?_" Naruto asked, snickering.

"Poetic but no, Naruto-baka," she said dryly. "There's a bigger chance that you'd end up together. I think Kazekage-sama has a crush on you," she teased. Sabaku no Naruto. She giggled. _Fishcake of the desert? Or maelstrom of the desert?_

He scoffed, smile sarcastic. "_Right._ Who can resist this awesome piece of meat?" He tapped his chin thoughtfully. "Who else are we always around with?" He sat up straight and pumped a fist in the air. "Of course! _Rock Sakura!_"

She couldn't keep herself from laughing, more so when her friend nodded sagely. "It fits your scary punches, na? Plus there's the intimidating factor when you introduce yourself to enemy nin._"Yosh! I'm Rock Sakura!" _then you'd ram your fist down their throats with a wiggle of your fuzzy pink eyebrows, and tears would pour down from your shining green eyes of youth."

She shook her head, giggling. Naruto was now lying on his back, his hands propping his head up. "There's only one name that fits you, na, Sakura-chan." His face was turned up to the sky, his voice softer.

"_Uchiha Sakura. _It's perfect."

Sakura glanced down at him. His face was unreadable, his blue eyes shrouded. She leaned back, her palms supporting her weight.

"I've always wanted that," she murmured. _Now I'm not so sure anymore_, she continued silently.

"Why do people ever marry?"

She knew his question was serious so she answered in the same vein. It's one of those rare times that was starting to become more common between them. "Because they love each other enough to want to be together for as long as they live."

"But—" he turned to her, eyes blue and honest and confused that betrayed how little he truly understood, "—you don't only love one person, na? Should I marry Iruka-sensei? Or is it only when you're really, really, _really_ possessive like Neji?"

Sakura forced back a horrified laughter, shaking her head gently as her thoughts turned inward to seek an answer he could understand. Something pulled deeper in her, attempting to remind her of something important she needed to tell him. "Of course we can love other people. But this person, you love this person enough that you want to create a new life together. That's why you marry. It's... it's a different kind of love. A bit possessive, but—different."

"Is that the love where you always want to be with this person? Because I always want to be with you, y'know."

In the growing darkness, Sakura's eyes were a soft green. "I always want to be with you too, Naruto."

"But _Uzumaki Sakura_ doesn't sound as good," he murmured. It sounded bitter, dejected.

Alone.

"We don't have to get married to be with each other," she said gently. "We just have to make sure we're always there when we're needed. Or even when we're not."

Naruto nodded. "Then I don't have to choose between making Iruka-sensei _Uzumaki Iruka_, or Baa-chan _Uzumaki Tsunade_. Or making you _Uzumaki Sakura_ or Sasuke _Uzumaki Sasuke_."

She stifled a smile. He could be so adorable sometimes. "No."

And if Naruto would look then, he would have seen how sad the smile in her eyes truly was.

He was clueless in these regards, Sakura knew _(there were a lot of things he didn't truly understand_). Affection, admiration, attraction, respect, love—he never had these in his early life, never had someone to not just explain them to him, but _show_ him _(can you describe the sky to someone born blind?)_. That's why Sakura cherished these simple moments _(only them with no one around to force him to hide what he wanted to express and to feel_). Given the chance, Naruto could be very tender, and it was a side he rarely showed to anyone. Deep down, she knew, he did it because he couldn't afford to have his affections rejected, now that he had felt it and wanted to show it. Not this time. Not again.

It could break him, this time, when he almost understood.

"But you know, _Uzumaki Sakura_ doesn't sound so bad," she murmured, settling her head on his chest. Sakura smiled as his calloused fingers began to play with her hair. Naruto, with his hesitant, light touches, had the gentlest touch she had ever felt _(how can someone so rough be so gentle, someone so certain be so unsure?)_. Her eyes were tugging down, the gentle motions of his hand making her drowsy.

"It's not an awful thing, belonging to you," she said sleepily as her eyes fluttered shut. His heartbeat was comforting, and so was his left arm that was supporting most of her weight _(more than her shield and her strength, he was her comfort)_.

She didn't hear his question as she drifted off to sleep.

"Belonging to me?"

* * *

"Do you think of him a lot?" he asked out of the blue.

She raised her eyes to look at him. He was leaning on the open window of the hospital lobby, his upper body twisted to his side as his eyes viewed the late afternoon summer sky. The sun was beginning to set, and splashes of pink and purple had begun to paint itself on the canvas of bright yellow and orange. From where she sat, Sakura could see how bright yellow hair glowed a dark burnished gold, how laughing cobalt eyes shone a somber deep blue—and she wondered how and when Naruto had grown and changed into an achingly handsome young man.

Enough to make her catch her breath.

_I just called Naruto handsome_, she thought with disbelief. _No, no_, she mentally disagreed, smiling wryly. _He's beyond handsome._ She watched as shadow and light danced on his profile, the aura of loneliness pervading in his stance. Sakura had never seen him look so strangely melancholic and vulnerable before, so strangely changed yet unchanged at the same time.

In the complete silence of the dying afternoon, Sakura had an epiphany.

It wasn't he who changed.

It was her.

_Naruto-baka is actually beautiful._

And she wondered _(strong, he was unreachable)_. How many times had he been vulnerable at times when everyone thought him the strongest? It was such a strange thought _(vulnerable, he was peerless). _She had to ask herself why she never thought of it before.

_How many times?_

He was always so strong _(mighty, he was untouchable)_. But was he strong because everyone expected him to be? Was he strong because everyone needed him to be?

_I never asked him. I never asked if he was hurt. I never bothered because I always thought he was strong._

"Sakura-chan?"

_(powerless, he was beautiful)_

She blinked. Even now, he was looking at her with worry. Oh she knew how greedy Naruto can be, how possessive he sometimes was—she caught him a few times almost obsessively rearranging his meager worldly possessions in his apartment—but was he ever selfish where it counted? Selfish where it counted for _him_?

_Naruto, you idiot. You— _Sakura shook her head. _You stupid, stupid, selfishly selfless stupid idiot._

"What? Aren't you—" Naruto swallowed and looked away. "Don't you love the bastard anymore?"

"I do," Sakura answered honestly. "I still do. And yes. I think of him," she ended in a whisper, "a lot."

"Sakura-chan..."

And she heard it, now that she was looking for it.

_(his flaws were his secrets and his secrets made him beautiful)_.

"You think he's happy out there?"

The loneliness.

_He hurt you a lot, didn't he_—_Naruto?_

"I don't know."

_He hurt me but it was nothing compared to how he hurt you._

"He'd be happier here if he'd just swallow his stupid pride and come back."

_But you understand him, don't you? You understood him more than any of us did._

"Anyway, the old hag said I'm free to go!"

_You always do._

Sakura shook her head. "Because you refuse to be confined, baka. Your arm's broken in three places and you shouldn't even be loitering."

"Sakura-_chaaaaaan_," he whined. "It's so boring inside! Everything's white and boring! It's so boring I'm bored to tears. I'm so bored I can't even share anything, 'cept that I'm _bored!_"

"Oh, Naruto," she sighed. She lifted her head up wearily, giving up the fight against begging, shining blue eyes. "Shishou already told me. I just thought you might change your mind."

"Yosh!" the blond cheered, seeing his victory. "Itai!" he exclaimed, the sudden movement of his left arm sending a jolt of pain to his already-healing right arm. He rubbed his nape sheepishly as the pink-haired medic glared at him.

"C'mon," Naruto cajoled, the setting sun behind him shadowing his face but not his smile. "The bakery might close if we don't hurry up."

_(so painfully, achingly beautiful)_

Sakura nodded with a small smile. "Wait here while I sign you out." She turned away and looked back when she heard a shout.

"The unsweetened cakes might be gone!"

Sakura narrowed her eyes playfully as Naruto grinned back. Shaking her head, she left him to look out to the dying light.

—_that's why you can still smile, ne, Naruto?_

* * *

"I'd hit that," Ino spoke up across from her. Sakura idly raised her eyes, sipping on her tea with indifference as she followed the blue gaze to someone passing outside.

"What did he do now?" Sakura sighed as a familiar orange and black blur weaved its way around the villagers. She inwardly cracked her knuckles, thinking of the possible atrocities his teammate had committed once more.

Ino gave her a strange look. "What are you talking about?"

"Naruto. You'd hit him, right?" As she repeated the other's words, understanding dawned on her. "Oh. Ohhhhh. _Hit_. Right."

Ino laughed. "You're too violent on him, you know? We've been on a couple of missions and past the nonexistent fashion sense and that idiotic grin, he's actually okay." She sipped on her own tea and went on. "And he's grown, eh? He's—" Ino tilted her head, as if thinking. "He's actually hot, even in that shapeless... thing."

"Don't tell me you have a crush on Naruto," Sakura teased. She laughed when Ino huffed and crossed her arms over her chest, before leaning forward and waggling her eyebrows.

"So what? It's just a crush, and blondes are always hot," Ino said, smirking. She frowned after some thought. "Even that sand girl who kept hanging around Shikamaru."

"Oooh, not _sand shrew _anymore?" Sakura asked slyly. "Or _desert bitch_?"

Ino shrugged before giving a sheepish smile. "She's actually okay. Plus the lazy ass moves a couple inches more when she's around. Anyway," she flipped her hair—Ino never outgrew the habit—and leaned closer to her friend, "you and Naruto. Are you two dating?"

Sakura gave her a flat stare. "Ino-buta."

"You two look cute together, and you two are closer now," the other girl argued. "And Naruto is hot and obviously crazy about you! But come to think of it—you're crazy about him too, eh, _Sakura-chan_?"

The medic chuunin sighed and leaned back on her chair. She raised her eyes, looking into her best friend's pale blue ones. "Ino. Naruto and I are like brothers and sisters. No, we _are_ brothers and sisters." A tender smile bloomed in her lips. "It couldn't possibly get any better than that."

Ino studied her friend, noticing how her features had softened and her green eyes had lit up. It was rare to see Sakura like that, peaceful and content. And Ino was glad for her, because Sakura finally realized that, in spite of her other teammate's disregard for her love, she was and always will be loved.

"Know what, Forehead? I think you're right," Ino said, leaning back on her own seat. She closed her eyes before opening it once more, serious. "If something happened to Naruto because of _him_, what would you do?"

Sakura's head snapped up to her best friend. There were no traces of teasing on her face, no shadow of humor in her eyes. She lowered her green eyes, her shoulders slumping along. "I hope nothing does, because he's the only one who could really hurt Naruto," she said softly. "For his sake, I hope nothing happens.

"I still love him, you know," Sakura said, laughing lightly. "I never really understood how I could fall for someone so... apathetic. But—" her voice hardened as she looked up again, eyes as cold as slivers of aquatic jade. "—if he does something to Naruto, I'll fucking _hurt_ him and make him regret it."

Ino almost shivered at the lack of emotion in her best friend's voice. She almost never caught what Sakura said as her voice dropped lower.

"And I'll never forgive him, Ino. _Never_."

* * *

Months later and he had returned. But Sakura knew something was wrong—her eyes darted worriedly to Naruto, who hadn't woken up hours after he stepped inside the walls of Konoha with Sasuke on his back. It was Sai who carried both to the hospital while Sakura went ahead, alerting the Godaime and preparing the hospital for their arrival.

Outside, the sounds of war receded into an anticlimactic descendo, but none inside the emergency rooms where Naruto and Sasuke were breathed a relieved sigh. Both boys were in critical condition, the latter more so, and it was hours later before Sakura found herself inside Naruto's room.

She was waiting for blue eyes to flutter open and flash impishly, waiting for lips to form into a smile with a brilliance wrought only of contentment from completing a lifelong struggle. Waiting for hands to weave stories of war and victory and how the power of love and friendship brought their prodigal back. Waiting for him to tell her that he had finally made the promise of a lifetime into a reality.

Sakura was waiting.

But she couldn't make herself believe as dread further sank within her. When Naruto's eyes did open, she swallowed a gasp.

_(lifeless blue eyes saw nothing but the visions in his mind)_

"What happened?" she whispered. His blue eyes remained fixed on the ceiling, and Sakura leaned closer to him. "What happened, Naruto?"

His eyes closed before opening again, lips curved as he smiled. "Sakura-chan. The bastard's back."

_(shadows had no right to settle in his eyes)_

"What happened, Naruto?" Sakura asked urgently. "Tell me."

Her heart clenched painfully as she watched him blink, a tear—and another—sliding down a whiskered cheek. _Cry on me, Naruto. You always let me cry on you._

She choked. _Please._

_(he shouldn't have fought to hide his tears)_

He raised a hand and caught a tear that slid down her own. "It's okay, Sakura-chan," he assured, smiling as much as he could. He rubbed at his traitorous eye. "Sasuke's home. Just as it should be."

_(he shouldn't have fought so hard to hide his scars)_

And because he wouldn't, Sakura threw herself on his chest and cried for the both of them.

_(he shouldn't have fought so hard at all)_

* * *

"Shishou! Sasuke-kun wo—"

Sakura abruptly stopped, slowing down from her run until she stood before the smashed desk of the Hokage of Konoha. She saw a painfully white hand crumpling a piece of paper, saw strong shoulders heaving and powerful arms trembling. Blonde hair hung over her beautiful face, obscuring her features from the world. Sakura turned to her former sensei, who was looking outside the window with his infernal book nowhere in sight. Sakura didn't miss how his own hands shook at his side, how his shoulders were tensed and how he wouldn't show his one visible eye to anyone in the room.

"Shishou?" Sakura asked, uncertain.

Tsunade looked up. Her brown eyes were burning with all of the sorrow and fury she refused to let out.

"Naruto."

* * *

"Naruto!"

She ran faster as his steps continued, never breaking from its even pace. Sakura urged her tired legs faster until she was almost an arm's length from her teammate.

"_Naruto!_"

Frustrated, annoyed, _angry_, she raised a fist and punched him on the back of his head. He didn't even make a sound as he flew a few feet ahead of him, Sakura hot on his heels. Her green eyes flared when he stood up, dusted himself, and took a step.

"Don't you dare walk away from me, Uzumaki Naruto!"

_(stay)_

Naruto stopped. Sakura drew in a hopeful breath.

Then he took a step.

And another.

And another.

"Stop!"

_(don't go)_

But he wouldn't.

So she forced him to.

"Why, Naruto? Why?" she asked, crying on his back as her arms wound around his waist and forced him to still.

"I had to," he replied. "I had to."

"No!" Sakura shouted, her eyes squeezing shut as her arms around him tightened. "I'll never—I'll never forgive him!"

_I rather lose him than_—

"Sakura-chan," Naruto's voice was gentle, as gentle as the whispers of touches Sakura knew only he could ever possess, "Don't do that." He slowly turned around, forcing her arms to loosen a bit. "You and Kakashi-sensei are what he only has left. He belongs here."

She sobbed as the sunset glinted off the metal that covered his eyes, and she couldn't help but feel betrayed as the sun gradually disappeared to make way for the moon_ (it was their time, the sunset—it was supposed to be their time)_. She sobbed harder when tanned hands hovered in the air until finally landing on her cheeks, gently wiping the tears that insisted on falling.

"Sakura-chan, don't cry," Naruto said softly, tucking her under his chin. He rubbed her back her until her sobs subsided, and Sakura was left feeling emptier than she had ever been.

"Don't you care about me, Naruto? Don't I matter? Don't we?"

"You know what I feel."

"Then stay," Sakura whispered, her voice thick with her emotions.

"I have to go," Naruto whispered back, voice so low to hide the hoarseness he couldn't show. He leaned down and planted a kiss on her forehead. "I have to."

"Then promise you'd come back," she said. She looked up, desperate to see the blue eyes that always spoke of a promise. "You belong here, Naruto! You belong to me, to us! Promise you'd come back. I won't let you go if you don't promise you'll come back. Promise me!"

_(please)_

Naruto stepped away, a smile on his face. "I will."

Sakura rubbed her eyes tearfully and watched him walk away.

And when he was gone, she sat down on the white bench and waited for the dawn _(maybe, maybe, their time is the dawn)_.

_Come back._

* * *

Ten years later, Haruno Sakura got home from a mission as dawn broke over Konohagakure no Sato.

The words of the Godaime echoing in her mind, her heart raced with anticipation as she sought the brother who had left, her heart nearly bursting with joy when she sighted the familiar shade of gold that could only be his. Sakura didn't see the absence of orange or the presence of blue beside him—she only saw the sun she had waited to come back for many, many years.

As her white arms wrapped around his back, she finally allowed herself to cry for the first time in ten years.

_It took you too long to climb down, you idiot._

"Sakura-chan..." she heard Naruto choke out, his voice coming in a ragged whisper of all the sorrow he could never hide from her anymore. "_Sakura-chan._"

"_Naruto,_" she sobbed, feeling her heart break at the pain in his voice. "Naruto, Naruto, Naruto."

_I'm stronger now. Stronger than years before._

Her arms tightened.

_You can cry on me now._


	11. Chapter 9

**The Sky  
**

_by Hic Iacet Mori_

* * *

**Chapter 9**

_A guy._

Sasuke couldn't feel.

_Uzumaki Naruto__ is a guy._

Couldn't grasp the reality of what he was _told_.

_Uzumaki Naruto is a fucking guy._

Couldn't fathom the depths of a truth he was _slammed_ with.

"_He's in a modified henge, Sasuke-kun._"

A _male_.

_"His general features and body structure remained, and the only thing he really altered, I believe, was the bone structure of his face. Maybe even the length of his hair to look a bit less... masculine?_"

A _man_—

_"The chakra used seemed sparse and compact. Barely there at all. Everyone who knew Naruto wouldn't find anything glaringly different. Maybe just... wonder why he looks slightly changed, which anyone could attribute to the past years without a second thought. His henge is so subtle it looks natural and I didn't even detect any chakra layer. It's only because I've seen him up-close so many times before that I realized that_—_that there were differences that I know weren't logically supposed to be there at all."_

Like _him._

_"Why?"_

—_like me._

_"You... You'll have to ask him why."_

_Uzumaki Naruto is a fucking guy._

Sasuke closed his eyes, angry. Angry with Sakura. Angry with those—_those two bastards_—who knew and led him on. Angry with that—that_ person_.

Angry with _himself_.

_Dammit, move!_

He had been lying on the grasses above the old dock and he still couldn't find the strength to move at all.

Images kept flashing behind tightly-shut eyes. Of Uzumaki Naruto embracing Hyuuga. Straddling same bastard Hyuuga in the ANBU headquarters. Being embraced by the fucking pervert Sai. Being groped by the damned fucking retarded pervert Sai. Being embraced by Sakura. Being groped by his pink-haired leech of an ex-teammate.

His mind couldn't stop replaying Sai's grope-fest.

_No wonder the idiot didn't mind_, his furious mind hissed—

_"You look like a woman, dickless."_

—_shit_.

How could he be so stupid? How did he graduate the Academy _at all__?_ He even thought Uzumaki Naruto wasn't even remotely _feminine__!_

_"Why was the law passed?"_

_"It was his wish."_

He's a shameful excuse for a _tensai_.

And he remembered how warm her—_his_—hand was. How he liked her—fuck, _his!_—laughter. Even liked he—_his, fucking his!—_smile. Even wanted _him _to stay. Even afraid that he _left_. Would _leave_. Would _go and never look back_.

Uzumaki Naruto who was a fucking _man_ like _him_.

He had even wanted to—to touch _his_ lips. He even had—Sasuke couldn't stop the low groan that escaped his lips, couldn't control the sharp jolt that raced down his spine, couldn't erase the images that assaulted him once more—strange, definitely _not_ normal thoughts about _him_. Another _man_. _Uzumaki Naruto._ Who was a _man_ like _him_.

_Even_—

It was getting harder to breathe.

_Even now._

The detached part of his mind not too concerned over the lack of oxygen was morbidly amused at his overreaction.

_Dammit, breathe!_

And suddenly he felt sick, so sick, as all thoughts grounded to a halt.

"Of course he prefers girls. It makes sense," he whispered to himself. It makes fucking sense. Why he kissed Sakura. Why he touched her that way, talked to her that way, leaned down and spoke to her that way. Why he played with her hair and bantered with her that way.

_"Uzumaki Sakura doesn't sound so bad?"_

Like they were _together_.

_"_—_in the meantime, we can be alone together."_

Heat constricted his throat.

_Together._

No, he was sure of it, Sakura and Uzumaki were not together.

_"I'm sorry."_

_What the hell am I thinking? Why do I care? Why do I_—

He slouched forward, his pale hands pulling at his dark hair in frustration.

_Why do I care?_

So what if Uzumaki Naruto was a guy? Why would he care if the other was a man? For that matter, why would it bother him so much if he was with Sakura or not? Why would it matter?

He closed his eyes and opened it once again. He knew—

_Why would it matter?_

—because he had hoped—had foolishly hoped—

_Why do you hide everything about you?_

—had _hoped_ after a long, long time—

Sasuke shook his dark head fiercely. The fringes of his hair hid his wide, dilated eyes from the noonday sun.

_Why didn't I know? _

Why did it bother him so much that he didn't _know_ Uzumaki Naruto was a _guy__?_

_"I'm sorry, Sasuke-kun. I can't tell you why."_

He finally got the strength to rise to his feet, each motion becoming more resolute as pitch-black eyes hardened into cold dark ice. Uchiha pride kicked into overdrive. Sasuke would never be made a fool by anyone, not even by some mysterious blond house guest who was getting under his skin and making him question just about everything right now.

_Fuck you, Uzumaki Naruto._

A murderous glare in place, he disappeared in search of the future Rokudaime.

* * *

A second more and Sasuke was certain, the paint on Umino Iruka's door would have evaporated. Or turned to ashes.

He had no idea where his former Academy sensei lived but he wouldn't be an ANBU captain if he couldn't do something as simple as locate a Konoha chuunin. It was a couple of seconds after he began his search that he felt the chakra signature he was looking for, and he ended up somewhere near the Academy itself. Which made perfect sense, he thought. Umino Iruka was, after all, a man who had decided that it was his calling to teach children to become assassins, and he would have rightly preferred to be near the academy grounds—the cradle of Konoha's finest.

The door finally opened and he was met with gentle brown eyes, and Sasuke watched with concealed, slight curiosity when the warmth disappeared and the forming smile turned into a grim line. Before he could even begin to ask, Iruka spoke up, taking his eyes off the impassive face.

Never once had Sasuke imagined such words to come out of the kindhearted, gentle teacher.

"What do you want, Uchiha?"

The sharp, unfriendly greeting took him by surprise, though it hardly made a dent on his impassive visage. Through the years, they hardly interacted with each other—Sasuke thought, however, that Iruka had always been polite to him, albeit extremely so. They barely exchanged a word or two, and though he wondered in passing why the teacher seemed chillingly civil to him, he tended to shrug it off as disapproval over his past defection. Still, it made him think that there was a different reason lurking underneath.

Sasuke didn't begrudge him over his coldness, no—what he had done should have rightly resulted in execution, after all. But now, standing before his former Academy teacher, he finally realized what it was that he had been sensing from the man in the past—

"I'm looking fo—"

"What do you want from him?"

Resentment.

It rolled off the man in waves and Sasuke finally realized—though he had known at the back of his mind all along—how a kind, pushover, pansy-like man such as Umino Iruka could last in a room full of energetic, incorrigible shinobi-in-training.

"What do you want from him?" Iruka asked again, almost growling this time.

He had never seen him like this, though.

"Is he—"

"Stay away from him."

Sasuke's eyes narrowed. Respect be damned. He had been interrupted far too much to allow his ex-teacher to remain alive, if they weren't fellow Konoha shinobi. Uchiha, more so _Uchiha Sasuke_, never took kindly to disrespect.

"Umino." The older man's head rose sharply, darkening brown eyes meeting his own icy black depths. "I didn't come here to argue with you."

"I know very well who you're looking for," the normally amiable teacher said, eyes narrowed and flashing. "And I'm telling you this. _Stay. away. from. him._"

He could feel his Sharingan pushing to come out, but something flashed within the chuunin's eyes that baffled him enough to divert his attention from his ire.

"Why?"

The man stared at him for a moment before releasing a weary breath. His eyes briefly shut, but not before Sasuke glimpsed what he thought he may have imagined moments ago—

_Sorrow._

"Sasuke-kun," Iruka started, his eyes still closed. Sasuke was inwardly surprised. The last time the man addressed him that way was before he defected to Otogakure. He almost took a step back when brown eyes opened, looking at him with gentle imploring.

"Please. He had suffered enough already. It's best if you do as I ask. Just—don't come near Naruto anymore."

The two stood opposite each other, Iruka half-inside his house and Sasuke outside the chuunin's threshold. It was unusually hot for an autumn noon and the sun was relentless in its punishing heat. Yet even as the sun warmed his back, Sasuke felt strangely cold.

"Why?"

He felt himself start to shiver.

"Tell me why I should stay away from him."

His arms were relaxed by his side as he fought not to give in to the cold. _Cold anger_, his mind supplied helpfully, assuring. _Nothing but cold anger._

"Because I don't want him to get hurt again."

Sasuke heard the soft click of a door shutting close, leaving him standing under the unusually hot and cold noonday sun.

* * *

"Why do you look for him?"

Sasuke gritted his teeth as he forced his impatience under control. He wanted nothing more than to remove the existence of the man who stood with back turned to him right now, but it won't do good to go into a rampage in aforementioned man's territory with not-as-powerful yet relatively powerful blood relatives nearby.

And even if said relatives were not the meddlesome type, he wasn't in the mood to deflect razor-sharp weapons thrown his way with a hundred percent accuracy rate by a weapons-happy wife.

He watched with cold eyes as the older ANBU captain turned to him, clan robes flowing gracefully to follow his fluid movements. Snow-white eyes that saw through what no ordinary human could see were studying him, and Sasuke had to clamp down the uncontrollable urge to tear the other's eyes out.

"Uchiha."

It was spoken in a commanding tone and Sasuke's ire flared stronger. After a moment of staring, Neji smirked, an aura of superiority befouling his air.

"Somebody finally told you, I presume."

A flash and Sasuke's pale-white hands were grasping Hyuuga's robe in a tight grip, eyes slitted and red.

"You knew," he spat out. "Was it amusing to see me make a fool of myself?"

The proud Hyuuga merely smirked, deftly removing Sasuke's death hold on him. "Your conclusion is apparently well thought-out, _tensai_."

"I'll fucking hurt you."

"It was Haruno, wasn't it?" Neji asked, all traces of amusement gone as his expression reverted to its usual impassive mask. Lilac-ringed white eyes glanced at the younger man, his own pale hands rising up to smooth the creases of his robe. "You wouldn't have known by yourself. The henge was flawless. The most perfect I had ever seen."

"Where is he?"

"Why do you look for Naruto?"

He could feel his patience snapping. "The _fuck _do you care?"

"Because I'm his _friend_," Neji hissed with sudden venom. "Because I'm his damned _friend_ and I'd do anything to make sure he doesn't go through what he had gone through again. Now tell me, _Uchiha_," he snarled, strong hands this time grabbing the front of Sasuke's shirt. "_Why do you look for Naruto?_"

"Why?"

_Why am I asked these questions?_

Neji released him of his own accord. He raised a trembling hand to run through his loose, dark brown locks and threw Sasuke an indecipherable look. Sasuke's features were hidden behind black hair that hinted of blue under the harsh brightness of the sun.

"What had he gone through?"

"I understand you have graciously offered him a place to stay," Neji said, polite and formal and utterly indifferent to his question. "Uzumaki Naruto is the chosen Rokudaime and I trust you will conduct yourself with the proper respect befitting his title and name."

Sasuke regarded Hyuuga with hateful dark eyes. Neji looked back with calm apathy, effectively highlighting the threat under his next words. "Anything done untoward against him will be held against you, Ookami-taichou."

He watched as Neji closed his white eyes briefly, opening them again to study him once more as Sasuke allowed his intense loathing to permeate the atmosphere around them. Neji's voice had taken a strangely softer tone when he continued with an entirely different statement. "He's been gone for ten years, Uchiha, but he's still hurting. Naruto is very forgiving but he never forgets. Every memory is precious to him." He paused and gave Sasuke a significant look. "Even the painful ones."

Neji turned around, headed to the direction where his family waited for him. "He's at the memorial."

Sasuke didn't wait to watch Neji walk away.

* * *

The usually loud voice was low but the wind carried scattered words to where he crouched in hiding. Sasuke tried to listen as he watched the person he only met yesterday, a person who had affected him like no one else had since his brother. Uzumaki Naruto was such an enigma to him.

A fathomless, familiar enigma.

_"Every memory is precious to him."_

_What happened ten years ago?_

_"Even the painful ones."_

_Is it the reason why he's_—_like this?_

_"Why do you look for Naruto?"_

_Am I the reason?_

_"Stay away from him."_

_But I don't even know him._

_"Because I don't want him to get hurt again."_

_Do I?_

His right hand clenched. He closed his eyes and attempted to quell his frustration, quickly opening them once again to observe the man he had been looking for.

Naruto was sitting in front of the cenotaph when Sasuke found him. It seemed like a private moment for his house guest and a perfect opportunity to observe when he was unguarded, so the dark-haired ANBU carefully hid his chakra while he was physically hidden above a tree some meters away.

His face was turned to the skies, as if he could see the lazy clouds rolling by and discern figures and forms with his hidden eyes. He was angled off to the side and Sasuke couldn't use his Sharingan to read those lips that would part every now and then. Strangely enough, he could hear snatches of words every few minutes, as if his will was forcing the wind to bring the words to him.

He watched as lips opened once again. His left hand supported his weight as he leaned forward in a futile attempt to hear more.

"—vert...like th—...—sed... back... nindou…"

Irritated, Sasuke decided to come closer. Suddenly he was four trees nearer from where Naruto sat, not even a leaf rustling from its perch with his stealth. He could see the blond completely now. Naruto's left hand was holding a melting blue popsicle, blue drops landing on the green grasses underneath him. There was a little smile on the whiskered face, yet Sasuke could sense an aura of melancholy flowing all around him.

"Couldn't even have a damned popsicle without remembering," Naruto said, his voice soft, softer than Sasuke had ever heard. It sounded bittersweet, fond, nostalgic—

Pained.

_Did you_— Sasuke's eyes dimmed. _Did you leave because you loved_—_love this person so much?_

Because even he couldn't see sweets without remembering Itachi.

"Guess I got even anyway, me being gone and all. Ten years, huh? Can't believe it took me ten fucking years." Naruto laughed lightly before silencing as quickly—as if his laughter had been merely an illusion of the spectator. The blond head dropped forward. "It was worth it," he whispered, and it sounded so loud and clear and broken to Sasuke. "It was worth it and it will be over soon."

_Is this... the reason_—_?_

A weary sigh.

_The reason why you left?_

Naruto leaned his head back on the cold memorial stone, face once again turned to the sky. Tanned face broke into a wide grin. "Bet you and Ero-jiji been hassling my old man up there. Be nicer to him! He died for everyone so cut him some slack. I'm going to be like him, y'know."

His face hardened though his lips remained strangely soft. His other hand reached up and lightly patted his midsection. "We're going to be like him."

Naruto stood up. He finished the melted popsicle in one harsh bite and crushed the stick, letting the pieces drop to the grass. He turned around and leaned his forehead to the memorial stone, golden strands hiding his face but not his words.

"See you again."

Sasuke's heart was squeezing painfully in his chest. The sight of one Uzumaki Naruto leaning down the cenotaph, saying those words, losing that smile—

_Why does it hurt?_

There was a heavy ache in his stomach, a painful weight in his chest.

_Am I... feeling this way because_—

Naruto straightened up, stretching his arms and sighing as he heard the satisfying snap of joints.

_Because_—

Sasuke shook his head with vehemence. No. It was nothing. This stranger, this _man_, this_ Naruto_—he simply reminded him of a lot of things. Things from the past he had already forgotten. Thing from the past he had already let go.

_"Every memory is precious to him."_

Things from the past that had no place in his life anymore.

_Memory..._

Or did he ever let go of the past at all?

"Did you enjoy the show, asshole?"

Sasuke's heartbeat stopped.


	12. Chapter 10

**The Sky**

_by Hic Iacet Mori_

* * *

**Chapter 10**

"Maa, maa, why do you have to call me such a hurtful name? Is this how you talk to someone you haven't seen in years?"

Sasuke watched with heart still hammering in his chest as Hatake Kakashi appeared beside Naruto, who was now sporting a playful, child-like grin. Kakashi's hand shot out and ruffled the blond's head, and said blond puffed his cheeks in irritation.

His breath returned to its normal evenness. He wanted to confront Uzumaki Naruto but he didn't want the latter to suspect Sasuke of spying on him. Even if that was the case. _Especially_ after he had carefully made sure to hide his chakra, minimizing it to the levels of a squirrel. He didn't want to think of the consequences of being discovered by the other, for some reason.

"Why do you all keep doing that?" Naruto asked, annoyed. "Just because I never grew as tall as all of you giant reeds doesn't mean I'm still a kid, you know!"

"But you're Naruto!" Kakashi whined. Naruto growled in frustration. Sasuke's eyebrow twitched when his former sensei whipped up an infernally familiar book.

"So how are you?"

Naruto, obviously unable to see with his covered eyes, waved a hand carelessly. "I'm Uzumaki Naruto so I'm fine," he said airily. "How 'bout you, Kakashi-sensei? Still reading that book, huh?"

Sasuke was almost surprised that he knew, but then he remembered that Naruto said they used to be part of the same team. He was bound to be aware of some of the man's habits and preferences, after all.

"It's a different book," Kakashi answered mildly, turning a page.

Naruto snorted. "Of course it is. It should be."

Sasuke could see the jounin smiling underneath his mask. "It seemed you learned more than jutsu from him. You're really the number one ninja at surprising people."

Naruto laughed, arms rising and fingers interlacing to support the back of his head. "Heard your mission took longer. Why's that? Getting too old to break your own records, Kakashi-_jiji_?"

Kakashi shrugged good-naturedly. "You know how missions go." His visible eye curved. "Sometimes they take longer to finish."

"Aa. I know."

They were silent for a moment, and Sasuke knew that the previous words exchanged meant more than what they literally mean.

_Underneath the underneath._

"Is it good?" Naruto asked suddenly.

Beside the cloaked blond, Kakashi closed the yellow book and dropped it inside his trusty back pocket. "Jiraiya-sama would've been proud."

_Jiraiya-sama? _Sasuke's pale brows furrowed.

"Good. You're the old pervert's number one fan and you'd know. Though I didn't expect you'd know it was me."

Another contemplative silence, though not as profound as the previous one.

"I miss the sex scenes, though."

"Kakashi-sensei!" Naruto screeched, a finger pointing in righteous indignation. "You're still a pervert!"

"Love-making scenes?"

"Gyah!"

"And reading about Noriaki feverishly rubbing his bronzed, awakening length against Junko's smooth, creamy-white thighs spreading wantonly apart, their passionate moans mingling along with their bodies glistening from sweat, heat embracing them from the unforgiving coldness of the harsh winter night—the night that awakened their uncontrollable, desperatedesire for each other."

"La la la la la," Naruto sang loudly as his index fingers plugged his ears. "I am a fox, a very cuddly fox! A very cuddly very fluffy very pretty fox! La la la la la I am a fox!"

Sasuke shifted uncomfortably from where he crouched. Damn sun for heating his face up.

And damn perverted ex-teachers.

"I wouldn't even mind if it's _Kazuhiko_ feverishly rubbing his bronzed, awakening length against _Noriaki's_ smooth, creamy-white thighs spreading wantonly apart, their passionate moans mingling along with their bodies glistening from sw—"

"Shut up!" Naruto shrieked, grabbing the amused jounin by his shoulders, shaking the silver-haired shinobi back and forth. "You're such a pervert! Shut up shut up _shut up__!_ We're in front of the Heroes' Memorial, you pervert!"

Sasuke twitched as strange heat pooled in his stomach. He didn't know that a name change could be so powerful, especially if your mind suddenly decided to run rampant with words and images and sounds and _someone_ you shouldn't be thinking about in _that_ way.

Are _not_ thinking about. Are _not_. Are NOT. Thinking about? Who's thinking?

—_damn you, Kakashi._

"Maa, Jiraiya-sama would be happier with either of those scenes. And I'm sure our resting comrades here would like to hear something fun once in a while," Kakashi said, eye closing into the familiar half-crescent of amusement. Or perverse satisfaction, in Sasuke's opinion.

"Fuck you, sensei," Naruto said half-heartedly.

"Kinky, but someone won't be so happy," the other returned cheerfully.

Sasuke almost growled. The _fuck _is he talking that way?

"Right, whatever," Naruto snorted. A sly smile crept up. "Kinky? Oh yeah! Heard you're into bondage, na, Kakashi-sensei? There were some interesting rumors about you and Anko. So—is it really Anko?"

Bondage.

_Damn. Word._

Sasuke didn't shift helplessly. He's an ANBU with a reputation to uphold. A shinobi captain with an admirably tight self-control. A paragon of cool restraint. An _Uchiha_.

_Fuck._

This conversation was bothering him more than it should be.

"Rumors? Like Anko-chan blindfolding me and letting my naked, chiseled body hang down from the ceiling as she wrapped her nubile, lily-white limbs around my waist and thrust herself lustfu—"

"_Gyaaaah!_ Damn you! Damn you to hell!" Naruto yelled as Kakashi chuckled. "My brain... My poor, innocent brain..." he moaned.

Sasuke shuddered. He didn't know from where and he didn't want to know.

"It was innocence that prodded you to create your Oiroke." Kakashi nodded sagely. "Interestingly, I'm sure you're not using it but you look more different than usual."

Sasuke straightened up—or at least attempted to, there was still that strange weakness in his lower limbs. _Oiroke again?_ _Create... so it's a jutsu_. _What kind of a jutsu is that?_ His brows furrowed as his mind computed Kakashi's words. _A jutsu to make a person look sexy?_

As the last words played in his mind, he felt anger rising up him once again. More so when Naruto spoke up.

"What, you gonna grope me too?"

_Don't—you—dare._

"Yare, yare. I'm not into my students," Kakashi said, obvious mischief in his tone. He leaned closer and Sasuke's fists trembled with—_irritation_. "Unless you want me to, Na-ru-_to?_"

"Ka. Ka. _SHI_!" Naruto growled.

"Calling me by my name now like dear, adorable Sasu-chan?"

_FUCK YOU!_

Naruto snickered. "Make sure he doesn't hear that. Broody bastard won't be too happy. No," he amended, "he'll go batshit on you and short-circuit your ass in gratitude."

Sasuke's eyebrow rose.

_He seems to know much about me._

He found this intriguing. Naruto seemed to know him, know _Uchiha Sasuke_ past the falsehood that the villagers and shinobi he never bothered himself with thought they knew. Like his probable reaction at the disgustingly cute nickname. The play on words that indicated a deep, even intimate, familiarity with his signature jutsu. So did Uzumaki Naruto know that the last Uchiha wasn't as apathetic, wasn't as calm, wasn't as cool, as everyone was led to believe?

_How?_

Kakashi merely chuckled again. "Don't give me ideas, Naruto."

Naruto blanched. "I don't want to know, sensei."

Another chuckle. Then Kakashi leaned down, tracing a name etched in the Heroes' Memorial Stone.

"You should stop calling me that," Kakashi said after a silent minute. "It should be Jiraiya-sama."

"We're talking about this again?" Naruto asked, disbelief in his voice. "You're a fucking sap, you know," he taunted.

"I recall someone telling me that I would always be the coolest sensei in his eyes," Kakashi returned lightly.

"And tardiest," Naruto added. "The late Copy Nin Hatake Kakashi. Or is it _Mitarashi Kakashi_ now? I'm sure Ino would be happy to enlighten me."

Kakashi calmly smacked the head of the incorrigible blond. Akimichi Ino would have a field day if Naruto made good of his _innocent_ question, and someone would not be so happy. "Rumors, Rokudaime-sama."

"Na, so you're really with Kurenai then? Hey, I should visit sometime. Her kid's probably big now!" Naruto exclaimed, words coming out quick with no room for interruption. "And I've got to warn him that his "oyaji"—" he raised up his hands and made air quotes, "—is the biggest living closet pervert next to Ebisu." He chuckled, and then paused as his voice came out lighter. "And you shouldn't be calling me that too, sensei."

Sasuke smirked as he observed the less-detached-than-usual expression on Kakashi's face. The jounin had just inadvertently confirmed a fact to his blond house guest by denying the alleged rumor. It was an open secret within the jounin rank that Kakashi and Mitarashi used to date—if pummeling each other to the ground and out-screwing each other, in or out of bed, could be called that—in the past, and while it was over and done with, such a rumor could be fatal. Committed men can't afford such words to reach the ears of their chosen partners, after all. Especially if said partners were kunoichi of the Konoha brand.

There had been rumors too, about Kakashi and Shiranui—which was utterly refuted when Namiashi mouth-raped—_more like tonsil-murdered_, Sasuke thought with a grimace—the tokubetsu jounin during one All-Out Friday Foreplay in the favorite club among the jounin. It was his first and last time to step inside the club he couldn't even remember the name of, all because of a sick, one-eyed bastard who insisted on bringing him to said hellhole as a birthday treat. Never mind that it was ten days earlier than his birthday. The asshole just wanted some entertainment in the form of one of the sickest scheme he had ever plotted against Sasuke—

Matchmaking.

He had been surprised to see Sarutobi Kurenai and her timid student Hyuuga Hinata, the surprise which rapidly turned to cold anger when he realized what it was all about. He never forgot that day and Sasuke was still trying to decide what disgusted him more—seeing Namiashi's tongue even from a distance, or being an unwanted witness to the mating rituals of one Hatake Kakashi. While the mature adults played, their former students played the mature adults and—with painful politeness—tried to settle in a not-so-awkward silence.

He remembered idly musing that he had never seen the Hyuuga heiress so flustered in a long, long time. When Sasuke used to see Hinata during his genin days, she had always been so strangely flustered. It took two run-ins before he concluded that this strange reaction was because of—

_Orange_.

Because of—

_Orange spirals_ as Hinata stuttered against his glare.

Sasuke's brows furrowed. _Because of orange spirals?_

"Ah, Naruto," Kakashi said good-naturedly, rubbing the back of his head.

Naruto shrugged, grinning. "You'll never tell me straight-up anyway. Have to confirm in a roundabout way." He blond stuck his tongue out. "You've always been mean that way and going _underneath the underneath_ just because you're too lazy to share. And if you're still a pervert, you're probably still lazy, na?"

Kakashi chuckled. And suddenly, as ice thrown in the fire, all trace of playfulness was gone.

"You met?"

A long pause. "Yes."

"And he doesn't know." It wasn't a question—it was more of a statement waiting only for a confirmation.

Quick. Certain. "He doesn't."

"And?"

"No regrets," Naruto murmured. There were no shades of emotion in the softly-spoken words, no nuances of feeling whatsoever. "None at all."

And Sasuke fervently wished for nothing else in that moment than to know. To understand.

—So he'd know who the hell was _he_ that he had to tort—_ask_ why Naruto seemed resigned.

"There's nothing wrong with being selfish," Kakashi said. He sounded quite sad, pained even, to Sasuke's ears. His left hand squeezed Naruto's right shoulder. "And there's nothing wrong with admitting to being weak."

Naruto shook his head. "I've been selfish and weak too many times already, sensei."

"Selfish enough to be the only one remembering, na?"

_"Even the painful ones."_

"That's low," Naruto's voice dropped into a whisper. "I thought you understand."

Sasuke had never seen Kakashi looked uncomfortable before.

"I do," he said, in a gentle tone rarely heard from the former ANBU. "But I didn't have to accept it, did I?"

For some reason, Naruto snickered at the rare display of paternal concern. "Yeah. You even freaked out."

And just like that, the tense atmosphere was broken.

It was fascinating how Uzumaki Naruto could lighten up an atmosphere. Sasuke still needed to _discuss_ some things with him, and as much as he resented how he was fooled into believing something the other wasn't, it still couldn't stop him from grudgingly admiring the willfully gender-confusing idiot.

"Maa, Naru-chan, you shouldn't tease like that!" Kakashi grumbled.

A golden eyebrow twitched. "Kakashi-sensei."

"Well, you have somewhere else to be, right?" Kakashi asked, his head slightly tilted down. It was only then that Sasuke noticed a bottle by the blond's feet.

_Sake?_

Naruto beamed. "Un. I thought of pouring sake here but the old fart might think I'm sharing his sake with the others, so I'd just head to the women's side of the onsen. Ero-sennin's a greedy old man, tightfisted too, the pervert, loaded but kept filching from me. Now who gets all his money, ha ha," he mumbled to himself. "Payback's a bitch. Or a brat, whatever."

Sasuke felt oddly relieved. It wasn't Naruto's lover he had been talking to, after all. It was just some—greedy old pervert with a fetish for sake and blue popsicle.

He failed to ask himself why he felt better after that conclusion.

_"Ero-sennin was teaching me that before he, you know, croaked."_

His eyes widened.

_Jiraiya._

Now he remembered. One of the Densetsu no Sannin, Tsunade and Orochimaru's ex-teammate—Gama Sennin Jiraiya.

Sasuke had heard that the toad hermit traveled with an apprentice around the same time that he was in Otogakure. During that time, Sakura became Tsunade's apprentice while he trained under Orochimaru. It was fate, some had said. They were following the paths that had been traversed by the Densetsu no Sannin. Sasuke knew that he and Sakura were looked upon as the new legendary Sannin, which he dismissed for the simple fact that their third teammate was dead even before he had been a year in Oto. That, and because he abhorred the snake bastard.

But—

_Uzumaki is the apprentice of Jiraiya?_

"—later!"

Sasuke snapped to attention. Naruto was leaving. Now's his chance!

His muscles tensed in readiness, ready to follow from a distance until he found it safe—and private enough—to confront the blond. But Kakashi's next words stopped him.

"Watch out where you run! You don't know what could drop from trees at this time of the year!"

_Shit._

Naruto gave Kakashi what Sasuke could deduce was a baffled expression. His mouth opened then closed again, before Naruto shrugged and decided to forget about questioning the odd advice. With a final wave, the black-cloaked man disappeared from the training ground of Kakashi's former Team Seven.

"Ah, Sasuke, didn't know you're quite the voyeur."

He appeared a few steps behind Kakashi, a frown hidden underneath his perfect, blank features. "You didn't want me to follow him."

"What are you talking about?" his former sensei asked with an innocent expression. "So you wanted to follow him? But why would you want to? You're a stalker now?"

Sasuke had great respect for Hatake Kakashi but sometimes the man just annoyed him. He owed him quite a lot, true, but he didn't think he had to endure this apparent penchant to mock anything that moved. Sometimes, it's hard to believe that the silver-haired man with nose burrowed in books of questionable content was the ex-ANBU Copy Nin Sharingan Kakashi of a thousand jutsu. And sometimes, it's harder to quell the urge to use Amaterasu on his precious books just to get back at all the times he had made Sasuke suffer.

"Hn."

"The monosyllabic grunt of dismissal!" Kakashi gasped out quite dramatically.

Sasuke didn't imagine that Kakashi could get any worse. But after experiencing the bliss of settling down, Kakashi just had to prove him wrong. Did Kurenai even know what she got herself into?

He settled for a glare when the older man turned to completely face him.

"Yo."

"Hn."

"I missed you too," Kakashi said. Serious dark eye focused on him. "Why were you watching Naruto? Your chakra may be hidden well but I could see your hair," he added, a bit amused. Sasuke needed a haircut.

He gave a flat stare, ignoring the jibe on his suddenly abysmal hiding skill. Sasuke had been too focused with hiding his chakra to bother with perfectly hiding himself physically. His prey had been sightless, after all. "You were too."

Still, it didn't excuse himself for focusing too much on that one person that he even _failed_ to notice another shinobi in the vicinity. How had he ever become ANBU at all? He fought the urge to groan. He had questioned his shinobi abilities more times than he had in a day than in the past ten years combined.

"Maa, Sasuke, I was merely waiting for Naruto to finish his moment. I haven't seen him in ten years."

He didn't have anything to say to that.

"Do you recognize him?" his ex-teacher asked, face upturned with his hands in his pockets. A silence stretched and then he chuckled, taking Sasuke's confused silence—_recognize_?—for what it was. "Of course not. How would you?"

He never liked this side of Kakashi as well, this side brimming with cynicism. Sasuke knew that it belonged to the other's bloody past. To a past before he took his first and last, the one and only, genin team he had passed. That Kakashi was showing it this time, after all this time—it made no sense at all.

Few things made sense to Sasuke now.

Like _him._

"Kakashi," Sasuke began, the barest hint of uncertainty in his voice. "My teammate. How did he die?"

_Why am I suddenly remembering him?_

A surprised silence.

_What was his name?_

A sigh.

"People never die, Sasuke," Kakashi answered, with all the wisdom of a man who had battled far too long, and lost and won the war and battled all over again. "We only lose them in bits and pieces over a long period of time. When their footsteps stop coming, or when their laughter becomes silence, or when their scent fades and is replaced with emptiness, or when their faces become blurs and shadows of everything and nothing. When every memory we have of them disappears—that's when they disappear. That's when they stop living."

_"Learn to look underneath the underneath."_

"That's when they die."

_What are you trying to tell me, Kakashi?_

"That's what Naruto's book said here," Kakashi said cheerfully, holding the yellow book once again.

Sasuke wanted to bury his fist on the jounin's masked face.

Wait.

_Naruto's book?_

"It's his tribute to Jiraiya-sama," Kakashi said, answering his silent query. "Very different from his style but it was a fitting eulogy. He had been like the father Naruto never had."

_He's an orphan. Like me._

"He used a pen name. Obvious, though. And the title also took the 'Icha Icha' brand."

His head snapped up and his dark eyes narrowed. Realization dawned on him as the other chattered on about the latest Icha Icha news, about an Icha Icha movie remake he had seen and how Noriaki and Junko's actors were award-winning thespians and did justice to their roles and _do you know that they're planning to make a yaoi version of the movie? I'm thinking of bringing Sakura with us, I'm sure she'd love it!_

Classic Kakashi. He was doing this on purpose.

_He didn't answer my question._

There was another question in his mind, though.

_What the hell is yaoi?_

Kakashi's expression grew solemn as he stopped his light-hearted monologue. It was apparent that Sasuke had seen through his act. Sixteen years ago, Sasuke would have given up and tuned him out already.

Kakashi sometimes missed those old days.

Before Sasuke could kick the jounin for irritating him—and calling him_ Sasu-chan_, the _fucker—_a slight shift in the wind caused them to look up. Two messenger birds were heading their way.

"Ah. Hokage-sama must have thought it's more urgent than we initially suspected," Kakashi said casually, scanning the content of the note carried by a hawk that landed on his shoulder. Sasuke merely grunted, reading his own note as his messenger bird flew away. His brows furrowed.

"Coincidence is too great to be simply coincidence, then," Kakashi went on, dark amusement coloring his words. He raised his head. "So it wasn't just me who had a run-in, na."

Sasuke frowned, remembering his last mission. He hadn't expected to run into one of them. Frankly, he hadn't expected one of them to be still _alive _and running into him.

"Even Sakura and Sai," Kakashi said, folding his note and pocketing it. "I wonder if Yamato did too."

"Hn."

With a nod, they vanished to the Hokage's office.

Unseen, untouched, a half-buried popsicle melted light, light blue on the grasses a distance behind the cenotaph.


	13. Chapter 11

**The Sky**

_by Hic Iacet Mori_

* * *

**Chapter 11**

Sakura was already within the Hokage's office when Kakashi and Sasuke arrived.

"Where's Sai?" Tsunade demanded barely a minute later. Whatever the Hokage wished to discuss with them, Sasuke could see that it had her worried—there was double the amount of empty sake bottles littering her cluttered desk yet her eyes were unusually clear and alert.

"He sent a message that he'd look for Naruto," Sakura answered. The Hokage nodded with a frown and leaned back on her chair. Five mission report scrolls were opened on her table, her paperwork haphazardly piled and pushed to the right. Sasuke saw her left hand rose to rub a temple—it was apparent this was causing her uncommon stress.

Uncommon enough for her to absentmindedly crush the saucer in her right hand.

Seemingly coming into a decision, Tsunade looked up to her subordinates. "Sit down. This would take a while." With that, she did a few hand seals. The silencing wards within the room immediately took effect.

Sakura nodded and sat down, making herself comfortable on the left chair in front of the table, specifically placed for the occasion. Sasuke simply remained standing while Kakashi opted to lean on the open window, whipping out his favorite book.

Tsunade's amber eyes landed on the masked jounin. The question she soon raised was enough to raise Sasuke's interest—and not in a positive way. "All of you had a run-in with Pain's paths but only you were engaged in a battle, correct?"

"Aa, Hokage-sama," Kakashi answered, turning a page. "I had to recuperate for four days to be fit enough to travel."

Sakura turned to him sharply. "Are you completely healed, sensei?"

"Kusagakure has no medic-nin but they have quality medicine, Sakura," he assured her, an eye rising up to meet hers. Sakura relaxed.

"Sai was the first to hand a mission report about an encounter with Pain," Tsunade continued. "Pain found him but left after asking questions." This time, her eyes turned to the only ANBU in the room. "Same as you, Uchiha. Except that you decided to follow and engage in combat."

Sasuke only grunted, knowing what was coming next.

"That was reckless, Uchiha. It wasn't in your mission order," the Hokage scolded. Her glare was fierce as she studied the impassive man. "But I'll let it pass. I know how you feel about Akatsuki. Just this _once_."

He nodded, face expressionless.

"And you too, Sakura. Pain asked you questions and left, but you decided to follow and engage as well," Tsunade went on, dark disapproval in her voice. Sakura sat with her head down. "You could have been killed—but nothing happened so I'll let this pass as well."

They watched the Hokage of Konoha lean forward, elbows above the table as interlaced fingers propped her chin up. "We all know who and what they're after."

"Naruto," Sakura murmured. The hands on her lap shook with deep emotion. "They're after Naruto."

"Kyuubi," Sasuke muttered. Tsunade nodded, albeit slowly. There was a thoughtful look in her eyes as she looked him over, as if coming to a decision.

"Yes, they're after Kyuubi, the last bijuu," she said. "While it was surprising that Akatsuki only acted again after four years, what's more surprising is how Pain's paths were intent on escaping you," she pointed at Sasuke, "and you," at Sakura, "as if Pain really only wanted _answers_ this time and nothing more.

"Your mission reports mentioned the same day that Pain found you." She looked down at two opened scrolls lying beside each other. "Both of you had a run-in four days ago. Both times, Pain was asking you questions before suddenly deciding to leave. Both of you followed and tried to fight but he escaped.

"Pain found you eight days ago and engaged after you refused to give information," she said, pointing at Kakashi. "Sakura and Uchiha didn't give information as well, but Pain escaped from them with no obvious intent for combat. Sai ran into Pain five days ago, a day before Sakura and Uchiha's run-in. Being Sai, he answered the questions—in his usual frustrating manner that showed he had no idea at all."

Sakura raised a hand to her mouth, smothering a smile that threatened to form. Tsunade had an amused sparkle in her eyes while Kakashi chuckled in his book. Sasuke, however, didn't even deign to give any reaction. He didn't give a damn whether Sai choked on his next breath—he would very much prefer it. He had no love lost for the man they had thought to replace him with.

The amused atmosphere quickly dissipated when Tsunade focused hard amber eyes on three of her best shinobi. "Pain knew that Naruto wasn't in Konoha but we must assume that news had reached him by now. Even the Kazekage is coming in two days."

That was surprising. The Kazekage?

Sasuke remembered Sabaku no Gaara as an opponent during the Chuunin Exam finals. Their fight never finished because of the Sand-Sound invasion, but he remembered chasing him into the forest and even seeing his bijuu form, the Ichibi no Shukaku. It had been quite a shock to him—he must have passed out then, though, because the next thing he remembered was waking up in the hospital with his obnoxious teammate shouting in his ear.

_How is the Kazekage connected to Uzumaki? _He paused. _Didn't he mention Gaara before?_

_"You know what else would make it better? Gaara! The three of you can have a panel discussion in silence! Throw in Shino too and the silence just got louder!"_

Sasuke almost grimaced at the loudness of the voice in his memory, even as he stemmed the strange urge to chuckle. _Oh._ _That._

"Akatsuki would have no qualms about attacking Konoha again. In the years they had been inactive, we can't say that they hadn't filled their ranks."

"But why just now?" Sakura asked. "After these years, Shishou?"

"It just shows how Naruto had been adept at evading capture," Kakashi commented. "Enough that they decided to confront each of us for hints of his whereabouts."

Sasuke's brows furrowed. Something didn't add up.

"Yamato sent a message that he was interrogated four days ago as well," Tsunade added. "But unlike in your cases, it was only a twenty-second encounter and there wasn't any verbal exchange at all before Pain disappeared. It was mentioned in his weekly report."

"That's... weird," Sakura said, eyes confused.

"Something surprising must have happened four days ago," Kakashi said. "Something that wasn't in their plans."

"Regardless, they may be planning to head over here to retrieve Naruto," the Godaime said. "I'm posting double guards on each gate and two ANBU squads on each border. Naruto is not to step outside the gates of Konoha." Her voice lowered, hardened. "I don't want a repeat of what happened years ago."

"Hai, Shishou," Sakura nodded. Her hands trembled and she made a tight fist. "He just returned. There's no way in hell we're giving him up."

Everyone heard her next whispered words.

"Not this time."

A hush fell on the room. Long pink bangs were hiding Sakura's face, and Kakashi had pocketed his book in favor of staring outside the window. Tsunade was leaning back on her chair, amber eyes deep in thought.

"If they were looking for information—" Sasuke started, shattering the silence. All attention focused on him, "—why would they come to me?"

An ANBU captain had S-class clearance on information, true, but Sasuke didn't even know of the existence of one Uzumaki Naruto until yesterday. He hadn't understood the gibberish spouted by Pain, but the sight of the black cloak with red clouds enraged him enough to create a dent on his detached composure and discard his mission protocol.

_So if that encounter was about Uzumaki Naruto_—

—then why would Akatsuki come to him? He could understand about Kakashi, Sakura, Sai, even Yamato. They had been teammates for Kami knew how long. His house guest said so himself. But _him_?

Indeed, Sasuke had once donned that despised cloak and retrieved the Hachibi for them. He had gone around and betrayed the organization, however, even allowing the Kumo shinobi to escape on their third encounter. It was just unfortunate when they received news that the man was taken again four years ago. So yes, he had betrayed Akatsuki to confront Madara—with what he did, Pain shouldn't be believing his word now, right? Pain shouldn't be asking him anything. Especially about his house guest—though he hadn't known it that time—right?

This took a lot of planning as well. They would have had to know when any of them wouldn't be grouped in a mission with someone else—certain missions entailed certain talents and certain types of shinobi, and while he may have been an ANBU for close to seven years already, it wasn't unheard of for an ANBU to team up with a tokubetsu jounin or a medic jounin, like Sakura, or even a former ANBU, like Kakashi. It was extremely rare but not unheard of. And sometimes, Sasuke went to missions as jounin, which increased the likelihood that he would be paired off or teamed with anyone from his former genin cell.

So it wasn't coincidence too, that they knew just when each of them would go off for a solo mission. They were Konoha elite but they rarely had solo missions around the same time as well. There were too many coincidences. Too many coincidences that it's almost like—

Sasuke inwardly shook his head. Damned Hyuuga fatalism was rubbing off him.

As the strange silence began to penetrate his thoughts, he realized that no one had answered him yet.

He raised a dark eyebrow and turned his eyes to Sakura. He noticed the forced calm on her shoulders, the way her green eyes were fixed on a distance where his eyes were most definitely not positioned. His dark eyes shifted to Kakashi, who was still staring outside the window. When his eyes turned to the Hokage, he almost flinched at the odd intensity in the amber depths staring back at him.

And it hit him like a physical blow to his gut.

_They know why._

He could feel his Sharingan beginning to flare.

_They're hiding something from me._

His face was expressionless, his jaws relaxed, his voice icy cold as he stated his question in a demand. Each word unstressed, each word stressed by their distinct lack of intonation.

"Why—did—they—come—to—me."

Then the Godaime of Konoha replied. Her voice was soft. Measured.

"You should know, Uchiha."

Glacial.

Should. Should. _Should_.

_"You should know, Uchiha."_

Should. A mandatory obligation. Implies a requirement that needs to be fulfilled. Recommended with a valid reason. A _must_.

Uchiha Sasuke was obliged, required, recommended to know _why_ without being told. He was supposed to know _why_, because for some reason, he _must_ have known. He _must _know.

So why didn't he know when his superior had implied that he should have?

Sasuke watched as Sakura shifted almost innocently, his quick eyes and mind ascertaining the two seconds when she had caught the Hokage's eyes. Something meaningful had been exchanged, something Sasuke didn't know yet felt so surely in his bones that was related to him.

From his periphery, he could see the lazy eye of Kakashi looking more awake and alert than Sasuke had seen in the past years. The dark gray eye moved to look at him and Sasuke's eyes narrowed—Kakashi had seen the women's silent conversation. More than seen, he had _understood_.

These three—hokage, medic jounin, former ANBU—were all conspiring to hide something from _him_.

Sasuke could feel his fists shaking, clenching, but he refused to give them the satisfaction of seeing him riled like so. He knew that _they_ knew that he knew _now_ that they were keeping something important from him—important enough for Pain to seek him, important enough to hide from the last Uchiha and captain of ANBU Squad 7 with S-Class clearance—

And yet something didn't stack up.

Because the way they were acting, it was almost as if—as if they _wanted_ him to know that they were keeping something from _him_.

_"Where is the jinchuuriki of Kyuubi no Kitsune?"_

But why would they go to the trouble of keeping something from him—and _for so long_, it seemed, and he wondered _how fucking long_—only to give hints that they knew something that Sasuke didn't know _now_?

_"We received information that he had been sighted by the border of Hi no Kuni. Is he returning to Konoha or is he headed somewhere else?"_

Tsunade was a logical mistress for keeping secrets—she's the Hokage, after all. Hatake Kakashi had kept more secrets in his life than he had battle scars. And Haruno Sakura was, chatty as she was, someone a friend could trust a great secret with.

_"I did not come here to fight, Uchiha."_

These were three of the most trustworthy people of Konoha. They would keep a secret until their last breath, he was sure. Especially a secret of—Sasuke was certain, as certain as he was of his memory that never forgot a detail—a great magnitude.

_"I don't know what you're talking about."_

Sasuke could see it again, how the blank face of the long-haired Pain had looked almost confused at his scathing answer. That Pain stared at him as he evaded Sasuke's barrage of kunai—as if he was studying the enraged, white-faced and crimson-eyed Uchiha whose hands kept flying, who only paused long enough to unsheathe his chokuto and aim at a vital point of his enemy's neck. Then that Pain's face had smoothed and his body vanished, to reappear on a tree branch in a millisecond with the apparent intent to leave.

And Sasuke's fury had reached a boiling point. How dare that fucker appear, ask pointless questions and leave? So he had followed, his attacks relentless. He had paused when that Pain turned around to look at him—the attack was coming now, Sasuke believed, and it would only take him barely a second to find a counterattack—only to speak in a voice that could be compared to nothing else but a void; where neither color nor shadow, neither light nor darkness, neither life nor death ever existed.

_"Don't bother me."_

Then that Pain had vanished once more, completely melting into a crowd of civilians—happily unaware that a murderer stood in their midst, blissfully ignorant of a monster breathing the same air they breathed. And Sasuke had stood from a tree branch as his crimson eyes unsuccessfully sought his prey from the throng, rage running through his veins at the fact that Pain was alive, Pain was wearing an Akatsuki cloak, Pain in an Akatsuki cloak had successfully blended with the mass, Pain had escaped from him without even putting up a fight, Pain had spoken to him like Uchiha Sasuke was an ignorant child who had been nothing but a pest and a waste of air.

And those three words echoed again and again in his mind as he stood before the Hokage, those words delivered so smoothly, so harshly, so lacking of warmth and cold—

"Don't bother me, idiot. Tch."

The shadow deflated. Strange, he looked almost sad, sitting on an uncomfortable chair beside Sasuke's hospital bed. He rolled his eyes as the shadow bounced on the chair again, now-opaque dark arms waving about as words he couldn't hear streamed out of the shadowy mouth. Yet Sasuke had a smirk on his lips, and he mouthed a word that set off the shadow into an angry dance of wild gestures and, he was sure, a song of outraged yells.

"Hn. You can't hide from me. Much more hide _anything_ from me."

The shadow threw a tomato to his face, which Sasuke easily caught with arrogant grace. The shadow turned his head in the other direction, his dark arms crossed over his dark chest. Sasuke could see—but how, how could he see in the darkness of that form? or maybe he just _knew_?—a frown decorating the shadow's face. The shadow seemed to have a hard time saying something, but when he did—

Sasuke's lips tilted at the corner.

When the shadow turned back to him, his face was wearing its usual bored expression. And yet his eyes weren't as cold, as hard, as blank as they used to be. He didn't respond to what the shadow just said, opting instead to look at the white ceiling and count the cracks. Beside him, the shadow stood up, grabbed some tomatoes from a basket on the table, and entered a door. Seconds later he heard the sound of water.

Did the shadow bring the basket of tomatoes for him? He couldn't remember. But somehow, Sasuke just _knew_ that he did.

And in the music of silence and running water, in the presence of the empty and white room, Sasuke smiled again. He didn't need the shadow to hear what he had to say—he and the shadow sometimes understood each other to the point of mystery. Sometimes he wondered why, but most of the time he didn't want to question how someone so annoying, so bothersome, so loud and so utterly different from him could be the one to know him, the one to understand him the most of all.

_I know you would have done the same, usura_—

"—ke-kun? Sasuke-kun?"

"Our powerful shinobi must've passed out from the stifling atmosphere," an annoyingly theatrical voice butted in.

Twin groans. "You have the worst humor, sensei." "And timing." "Besides," Sakura added, "no one could pass out standing up with eyes open like this."

"Maa, maa, Sakura, Sasuke is an _Uchiha_. They can do _everything__!_ Haven't you heard the legend of the goggles and Uchiha Obi—"

"I want a meeting with Kurenai, Shizune," Tsunade yelled, before muttering, "Damn, I forgot about the silence wards. Remind me later, Sakura. It's a good thing that gaki convinced me to give Kakashi a vacation."

"Hai, Shishou!"

"It's him again," Sasuke muttered. Why again? Why now?

What made him appear this time?

Sakura quickly turned to look back at him. Sasuke stared back with blank eyes and she broke into a smile. "Thank goodness, Sasuke-kun! You were staring off into space. Didn't you hear Shishou's question?" Then, as if her mind had just caught up with what she had heard, her brows furrowed. "What do you mean, _him_?"

Sasuke ignored her in favor of staring at the seated woman. Said woman's eyebrow twitched but she responded anyway. "I heard that Naruto is staying with you. I can have him moved in an apartment complex that just opened a vacancy a while ago."

His mind processed her words and the way they were spoken. A question was framed in those statements. A baffling question that wasn't supposed to be there.

_She's asking for my permission._

His gaze was even, his mind wondering, as he returned the look in the gold-flecked amber eyes. Sasuke could see—

_"You should know, Uchiha."_

Could see that she wanted him to say _no._

_"Do you recognize him?"_

Could see that she wanted Naruto to stay with him.

_"Of course not. How would you?"_

Their secret—it's about _him_.

_"He's been gone for ten years, Sasuke, but he's still hurting."_

Ten years.

_"Why was the law passed?"_

Uzumaki Naruto was away for ten years.

_"It was his wish."_

They kept that secret from him for ten years.

_"I'm sorry, Sasuke-kun. I can't tell you why."_

A secret they weren't free to tell but felt they needed Sasuke to know. _Finally_ know after all those years. Which answers _why just now_—because the difference of those years to the present was the presence of one Uzumaki Naruto.

Which now brought Sasuke to another question—

What had Uzumaki Naruto done in the past that must be kept a secret from Uchiha Sasuke?

"Finally," Tsunade muttered. Sasuke's head whipped up, only to see Kakashi and Sakura watching him. How long had they been studying him? Analyzing his subconscious movements, attempting to predict his thoughts and conclusions? He glared at his two former teammates, both unfortunately having grown an immunity to his darkest looks in the times they were forced to spend together. His glare faltered, however, when a shadow began bouncing up between Kakashi and Sakura, pointing at Sarutobi Hiruzen chuckling quietly as he smoked by his desk.

"Sasuke-kun? Are you okay?"

_What._

That hoarse chuckle. That weathered smile. That white robe.

_The._

Fire. Smoke.

_Fuck._

Sandaime Hokage.

Green eyes were peering at him with worry, strong hands shaking his shoulders. Sasuke's head snapped up, his black eyes somewhat glazed as he glared off Sakura's hold on him. Sakura stepped back with a concerned frown before turning her attention to the door. Sasuke hadn't heard the door open nor felt that odious chakra presence he intensely disliked—but when he did, his shoulders tensed, his eyes resolutely fixing ahead as he controlled the twitching of his eyebrow. His jaws clenched when a sudden thought popped in his mind.

_Was he in on the secret?_

"Forgive me, Hokage-sama," the toneless voice apologized. "It was difficult to find him. I finally saw him by the old dock."

"Where is he?" Tsunade asked impatiently.

Sasuke's fists clenched when he heard that antagonizing smile in that flat voice.

"Right behind me."

"Step inside the room, baka," Sakura chided. Sasuke could almost hear her rolling her eyes in exasperation. He didn't count on hearing her gasp, though. Didn't count on seeing Kakashi before him widening his one eye that had been apathetically watching the exchange mere seconds ago.

"What happened?" the Hokage demanded, half-rising from her seat.

"Naruto!"

Driven by a pull he couldn't ignore, Sasuke turned around—only for a realization to slam hard on his chest.

His eyes exploded to bright, bright crimson.

It wasn't what Uzumaki Naruto had done in the past.

"I found dickless lying there."

_It was—_

Naruto was right behind Sasuke's replacement.

—_who was Uzumaki Naruto in the past?_

Draped over the damned fucking retarded pervert's back.


	14. Chapter 12

**The Sky**

_by Hic Iacet Mori_

* * *

**Chapter 12**

Fury.

_That fucking bastard—pervert—retard_—

Worry.

_What the hell happened?_

Confusion.

_Why__—did the villagers_—_but he_—

And one name.

_Uzumaki Naruto_—

Uchiha Sasuke had never felt as bewildered as he did then, standing inside the Hokage's office as he tried to focus on one emotion to act upon. How would he know what to do when he didn't even know what to think? How would he know what to _think_ when he didn't even know what to _feel_?

"What happened to him?" Sakura asked, her voice coming out in a rushed whisper. Her eyes were wide in alarm, fear lurking within the green depths like tendrils of shadows unyielding to the light of the sun. And there was anger too, and confusion, but those emotions were understandable... Sakura and Naruto seemed to be—his chest throbbed, a numb ache he couldn't understand beating within—seemed to be extremely _close_, after all. Those emotions were legitimate, expected. She had a right to feel that way.

But _him__?_

He forced his hands to unclench, forced the crimson in his eyes to abate. He himself was shocked over his uncanny response to the _displeasing_ visual stimulus—had he despised Sai so much as to incite such a reaction from him? He couldn't answer, though, as he felt the edges of red flare up in his eyes once again, when Sakura drew closer to the unconscious blond behind the other ANBU with haste. He blinked twice, almost shaking his head as he grasped on his legendary apathy with practiced ease. Maybe he needed to speak to Kakashi. His Sharingan had been acting up a lot lately.

"Sai," the Hokage growled, waiting for his answer. As Sakura hovered on the unconscious blond, Sai shifted the weight of the man on his back. Sasuke could feel a snarl climbing up his throat when his eyes unwillingly followed the movement of the pale hands.

The fucking pervert was touching his house guest _inappropriately__!_

"Calm down, Sasuke," Kakashi said.

_The fuck you're talking about? _he seethed. His eyes narrowed in a chilling glare. Of course. Kakashi was a closet pervert, after all—a pervert like the retarded Sai and that bastard Hyuuga. _Love your own_ must be the motto among the perverted kind.

Had he still possessed the cursed seal, he knew he would be flying away from the carnage he would have wrought already. It was all Sasuke could do not to tear off Sai's limbs and Kakashi's eye.

"Dickless was lying by the old dock when I found him," Sai repeated. Sasuke looked like the perfect ANBU as he inwardly mutilated the asshole. Fucking broken retarded record just repeated himself to hear his own perverted voice.

"What happened to him?" Sakura asked again. She couldn't see anything wrong with Naruto, as did Sasuke's sharp eyes—but what if whatever made him like that was not to be found outside, but inside? He drew in a sharp breath. What if he was internally bleeding as they stood chitchatting like lazy matrons in a damned tea party? What if he was fading away every second they remained inside the Hokage's office? What if—

"He's asleep."

A stretch of silence.

_A_—_what?_

The Hokage cleared her throat.

"Asleep."

A pleased smile. Like that of a cat who had just eaten the canary and the canary's wife.

"Aa, Hokage-sama."

And children.

Sasuke could almost see thundercloud looming over the Godaime, her soft voice coming out like the whip of lightning across the sky. "So why didn't you, maybe, _wake_ him up? Or should have I included it in your mission order to wake up sleeping brats?"

"Shishou," Sakura cut in uncertainly, "Naruto looks pale." Tsunade raised an eyebrow before turning to Sai once more.

Sai's smile didn't even waver. _Perverts always have a reason to be happy_, Sasuke thought darkly. "I tried to wake him up, Hokage-sama. But he asked me to give him a piggy-back ride instead."

Knowing this particular ANBU's propensity to be misunderstood—and _misunderstand _basic social interactions—Tsunade pursed her lips. "What exactly did he say?"

Sai, in a perfect imitation of the sleeping man, mumbled, yawning at some point of retelling. "Sai-baka... tired... piggyback, na? Like... before... _please__?_" The last word was followed by a widening of dark eyes and a pale lower lip jutting out, a perfect corrupted version of the omnipotent puppy dog eyes.

_... before?_

Everyone shuddered.

"Don't do that again!" Tsunade barked. Sakura covered her eyes as she cursed passionately, Kakashi's eye suddenly glued to his Icha Icha with greater fervor even for him.

_Before?_

Sasuke's vision was sharp again, honed on a certain nerve pulsing on Sai's neck. He didn't have to guess that his Sharingan was acting up once more. A deep calming breath and his vision returned to normal.

"Wake him up," Tsunade said, rubbing her temple. Sakura straightened up and nodded. With a gentleness Sasuke had never seen her accord someone before—even _him_—she began to shake Naruto's shoulder.

"Baka, wake up already," she murmured. "We have something important to talk about."

"I'll wake him," Sai said after a minute of futility. His right hand, supporting half of the man's weight, began to move, sliding up with clear intent.

"Grope my ass-cheek again and I'll feed your dick to the dogs," a sleepy voice mumbled.

_Grope? GROPE?_

"Sasuke," Kakashi warned. He transferred his crimson glare to his former sensei, aware of the killing intent he had inadvertently let out. The jounin merely slammed his book shut once more and curved his lone eye. _With perversion_, he added murderously. One day Sasuke would blind Kakashi's normal eye.

Naruto yawned before slowly climbing down from the pale ANBU. There was a sleepy murmur of _"Thanks, jerk"_ before he finally stood beside the smiling shinobi. Sakura was watching him worriedly, ready for any unusual movement, and Sasuke could see—to his ever growing annoyance—that Naruto was actually _leaning_ on Sai.

"Are you okay?" Sakura asked. Naruto nodded, though not as vigorously as Sasuke expected of him. His face was paler than the previous day, even paler than this morning.

_Is he sick?_

"So what's up, Baa-chan?" Naruto asked. Sensing the Hokage's upcoming question, he shot up straighter, waving a careless hand. "Maa, I'm just sleepy. I'd get back to my usual self soon enough."

Sasuke felt the hair rise up on the back of his neck as the Hokage's potent glare zeroed in on him. He briefly entertained the thought that maybe the rumor that the Legendary Sucker could suck out a soul was true after all. Or maybe even the other rumor—that her glare could castrate a man on sight.

"Did you keep Naruto up?"

He almost choked at the images evoked by the question. _Fuck_, he did not just _think_ those things about another man. And a man he didn't even fucking _know__!_

Sasuke scowled, his eyes suddenly unable to meet the demanding amber eyes as he ruthlessly held on to his stoic fa_ç_ade. He was ready to hiss veiled insults within his answer when Naruto beat him to it. "I slept fine, Baba," he said loudly. "I just traveled nonstop for three days so I guess I'm kinda worn out."

Naruto backed up a step when he felt twin killing intents, leaking out from both females in the room. Sasuke wondered if the rumors applied to Sakura too. "Anou sa, I slept!—for an hour or so every night?"

"Baka!" Sakura yelled, her fist instinctively rising. Naruto cringed but the expected abuse didn't come. Instead, the fist turned into a light slap, gentling into strokes on a whiskered cheek as the medic leaned closer. "Naruto, you should be taking care of yourself. Something could've happened to you," she said tenderly, almost lovingly. Her eyes were soft, softer than Sasuke had ever seen—in that moment, he finally understood how his dead teammate could have fallen in love with her.

His hands clenched unconsciously, his blank gaze trained on the two. But still—they act as if they had forgotten there were other people in the room.

His fists tightened. So shameless.

"I told you already, ne?" she continued. "Take care of _yourself_. Be a little more selfish. Please?"

At the softly-voiced expression of concern, Naruto dropped his head in shame. "I'm sorry, Sakura-chan. It won't happen again."

"Good," she murmured, touching his shoulder. "I don't want to lose you again."

_Get_—

He didn't feel his fingernails digging into his palms. Didn't even hear the thoughts running through his head.

_Get your hands away from him._

Naruto only smiled. It was so soft, so warm. So assuring and so—

"I'm sorry."

_So sad._

Like a secret smile.

"Well gaki, and you Sai, since you're both here now, we can continue," Tsunade said, clearing her throat. The obvious concern in her eyes still remained even as she took a more professional tone. When Naruto focused on her, she continued. "Akatsuki is looking for you."

Sasuke watched in hidden curiosity when his house guest broke into a comforting smile. Would his eyes be smiling, too?

"I know. I've a run-in with Pain four days ago."

Sakura gasped and Sai's brows furrowed in his version of anxiety. Kakashi's gray eye studied Naruto, his gaze unreadable. "So that's what happened that wasn't in their plans," he commented lightly, sounding almost amused. Sasuke knew that Kakashi was anything but amused at the moment, though. And Sasuke—

Sasuke was _livid_.

Tsunade's eyes narrowed. "And you didn't think to tell me about this? Is this what you meant yesterday?" she asked, her voice low and deadly. Her hands were bloodless in their painful grip on the edges of her table. "What happened?"

Naruto cocked his head. "I'm here, Baa-chan. What d'you think?"

Tsunade glowered, her amber eyes dark with promises she'd deliver without hesitation. "What. Happened."

Naruto stood silent for a moment, before quirking a corner of his mouth. "I made him an offer he couldn't refuse."

Sasuke couldn't remove his eyes from Naruto even if he wanted to. Those eight cold words had suddenly made it hard for him to turn his head. To move. To—

_An offer_—

Breathe.

"An... an offer?" Sakura echoed in a hushed voice, as if a greater volume would make their unspoken fears come true. Her green eyes stared at the man swathed in black, searching for secrets lurking beneath the hitai'ate the way Sasuke had been doing since the first time he saw him. "What do you mean—mean by _offer?_"

"It's between me and him, Sakura-chan," Naruto replied in a calm voice. "He won't be bothering Konoha anymore."

_Breathe._

No one even flinched when the Hokage of Konoha punched her table into clean halves, anger clear on her noble visage. "In exchange of _what_?" she hissed, her eyes blazing an eerie burnished gold. "What will you give him in exchange, _Naruto__?_"

"As I said," he repeated patiently, "it's between Pain and me."

_Breathe._

Tsunade spat out a question, the only question that had sprang up cruelly in their minds after his calm admission.

"Are you going to give yourself to him?"

A dreadful hush settled in the office.

_Breathe. Breathe. Breathe._

"Baa-chan." Naruto smiled, his next words slow, deliberate. "I—am—not—_giving_—myself—to—Pain."

And suddenly, Sasuke could.

Tsunade's shoulders relaxed imperceptibly, though her eyes remained narrowed and fixed at Naruto. "What did you offer him then?"

Still, his breathing was cautious, tensed. This was Pain they were dealing with, after all. This was Akatsuki, the accursed thorn on the side of the shinobi world.

An apologetic—_sad?_—smile broke into his lips. "I'm sorry."

"Out," the soft, cold order echoed within the room. Fury rolled off the Hokage in malevolent waves, fury that was splintering the already-broken desk and rendering her white hands whiter than humanly possible. "Everyone but Naruto, _out_. This meeting is adjourned."

For a moment, no one seemed to move. Then Kakashi nodded and passed by Naruto, brushing the black cloth as he pulled his book out of his pocket once again. "Ja."

"Ja, sensei."

The title caused Sasuke to start. Why hadn't he noticed it before? His house guest had called Kakashi by that title earlier at the memorial, and even yesterday when they were talking. But the oddity that he should have picked up sooner was Kakashi's words in the memorial, when the older jounin had said that he wasn't into his _students_. Kakashi only had three students— he never formally took in other students aside from him, Sakura, and that teammate who died early but was now persisting to bother him.

He recalled Kakashi and Naruto's interaction. Sasuke knew that he could simply chuck their closeness to the fact that the two had become teammates before, but a sensei-student relationship held greater significance—to the shinobi, addressing a person as _sensei _meant there was such a relationship to back it up. While it _could_ be understandable for a non-student to address Kakashi as _Sensei—_if only to mock the man for his abysmal teaching skills—Kakashi himself wouldn't acknowledge a person as his student if it weren't true.

The bastard may have an annoying sense of humor but Sasuke knew that Kakashi treasured his former students and wouldn't go around calling anyone _his_ student as a joke.

So the natural conclusion was, his house guest had, at one point, became Kakashi's student as well.

—So why didn't he know?

Sasuke almost growled. Everything just came back to that damned _law_, and having a lot of questions without getting answers was seriously driving him insane. It was his luck too, that he asked for this vacation—he had more free time in his hands than he could use, which meant that he had more than enough time to dwell on his thoughts. As if he hadn't been thinking enough already for the past years.

_Just who was Uzumaki Naruto in the past?_

"Wait for me, na, Sakura-chan, Sai-yarou?" the cheery voice infiltrated his thoughts. Sasuke hadn't even realized that he was already standing before the door. He paused, though, upon hearing those words.

Waiting.

"Un," Sakura responded. He could sense her approach but Sasuke wouldn't make himself move.

He was waiting.

"Excuse me, may I pass through?" a pleasant voice behind him caused Sasuke's dark eyes to dig viciously at the wooden door before him. His body was perfectly relaxed as he mentally murdered his fellow ANBU for the nth time in two days.

"Sasuke-kun?"

But Sasuke refused to budge as he waited—

"Move it, Uchiha!" Tsunade snapped from her seat.

—because for some reason, he _had_ to remain still. He was waiting for his house guest to say something to _him_. And if that woman-who-was-a-fucking-_man_ didn't say anything in the next minute, Sasuke would drag the idiot to some place no one could find so he could have his way with _him_ for confusing the shit out of an Uchiha.

He inwardly scowled at the heat he could feel on his cheeks. Not _that_ way, dammit! His jaw clenched. He'd wipe the loud blond's ass on the floor until he was a whimpering, bloody mess. Sasuke would make an honest man out of the fucking mysterious Uzumaki even if it's the last thing he did.

Sasuke swallowed. What the fuck was wrong with him?

"Uchi—!"

"Ja, Sasuke-san," a subdued voice cut in. Unseen by everyone, Sasuke's eyes narrowed at the dismissal. Wasn't the moron asking him to wait too?

"We'll _talk._"

He threw the door open, angry—and angrier because he knew he shouldn't be. Behind him, the other two shinobi exited the room. Sakura settled herself comfortably across the door, Sai standing a few inches beside her with his arms over his chest. He ignored their stares of speculation—rather, Sakura's confused eyes and Sai's blank ones—when he leaned on the wall beside the shut door opposite them. Sasuke closed his eyes, waiting.

A strange silence settled among the three before Sakura turned to Sai.

"Was he really sleeping when you found him?" she asked, an undercurrent of worry in her voice. Sasuke opened an eye hidden beneath his hair, appearing indifferent. "He looks so pale."

"Yes, Ugly," Sai responded. Sakura ignored the insult in favor of listening to the pervert. "I initially thought he was meditating but he was indeed asleep."

She shook her head. "And too sleepy to stand and walk on his own?" Her brows furrowed. "It's strange, ne? Naruto's an alert riser and he could function normally so quickly. Even when he only slept for two hours, he'd always look so refreshed, like he had eight hours of sleep or more."

_Must be the influence of Kyuubi_, Sasuke mused. The demon was an endless source of power, after all. From what he remembered from that despicable bastard of an ancestor, Kyuubi was a fast-healing youkai that had endless chakra to restore energy quickly. As its jinchuuriki, Naruto would benefit from that particular trait.

Sai tilted his head. "I find it odd as well. Dickless only asks for a piggy-back ride when he's too exhausted from chakra overuse." A slight pause. "Especially when he was trying to retrieve his best friend."

_Best friend?_

Sasuke inwardly recoiled at the enigmatic smile suddenly directed to him. His outward calm didn't betray the anger, however, that flared in him once again.

_So the retarded pervert was in on the secret too._

"Sai," Sakura said. Her voice was light and carefree, a subtle warning almost undetected within. Her green eyes locked with Sai's dark ones, the two oblivious to their companion watching their wordless interaction beneath his hair. There was a long moment of mutual staring before Sakura raised a fist and punched Sai on the cheek. Sai merely smiled as he rubbed the sore spot.

Sasuke wanted to punch the other cheek.

"Do you think they'd take long?" Sakura mused aloud, sliding down. Sai stared at the door, ignoring the silent Uchiha leaning beside it. "It's almost two and I haven't eaten lunch yet."

"They won't. Dickless had not yet eaten as well," Sai said. "That's why he asked us to wait for him." Straightening up, he looked at the kunoichi now settled comfortably on the floor. "I'll go ahead, Ugly. Dickless will want ramen waiting for him."

Sakura nodded with a smile. "We'll meet you there." Her green eyes sparkled, a teasing smile on her lips. "I'm glad you're not such an asshole anymore. Naruto really worked wonders on you."

Sai blinked at the words before a small, genuine smile touched his face. "Thank you." With a last nod, he left without another sound.

Sasuke felt slightly better that the offensive man was gone. It wasn't enough, however, to quell the unwarranted irritation he felt. So the blond had asked Sakura and Sai to wait to have lunch with them.

The pig.

He ignored the peculiar pinpricks of hurt the thought brought him. Why wasn't he invited? Weren't they on speaking terms?

He almost smacked his head at the utter childishness. They weren't friends, so why would Naruto invite him to lunch? _But still—_ a part of him argued. Naruto was living with him in the meantime, the least he could do was ask _Sasuke_ to eat with him. Not that he would jump at the offer, but he could have at least _asked_. There was that saying after all, that it's the thought that counts. Didn't the idiot know that?

Besides, Sasuke still wanted to sock the man for leading him on.

He frowned at the words. Deliberately _misleading _him. Not _leading him on_. What the hell was wrong with his thinking today?

"Sasuke-kun."

He inclined his head, raising his eyes to show he was listening, however much he didn't want to speak with her right now. Green eyes studied him in silence before Sakura continued. "What did you mean earlier, _him_?"

He didn't want to talk to Sakura—the knowledge that they had deliberately kept something from him for ten years and he hadn't known about it was a blow to his pride. That, and Sasuke still felt a_—__resentment,_ against her. But Sakura _was_ a teammate, a reasonable part of his mind argued. Who would know better about their deceasedteammate than her?

So he decided to answer.

"I saw him," he said quietly. At Sakura's puzzled eyes, he went on. "Our teammate."

His eyes observed Sakura distinctly paling, her green eyes flashing too many emotions for his sharp eyes to discern. Her voice was suddenly strangely breathless, as if she had been running on a short burst of air to reach a goal a mile away.

"Where?"

His eyes narrowed slightly. Sakura's reaction was too extreme and bizarre. The usual reaction to a confession of seeing a dead person was surprise and curiosity, sometimes even amusement at the hallucination, not—his dark gaze analyzed her white face, her dilated green eyes, as he sought for the most dominant emotion—not _anxiety_. Not_—_

Sasuke frowned.

Not _hope_.

He hadn't noticed Sakura move, hadn't even realized that she was already in front of him as she clutched the front of his black turtleneck with her uncontrolled force. Her face was now flushed, her green eyes bright and shining and beautiful with fire. "Where did you see him, Sasuke-kun?"

For a moment, Sasuke regretted his words. Maybe it wasn't a good idea—it was as if _Sakura_ was hoping that their dead teammate wasalive. Did something happen between them after he left? Something significant enough to make Sakura hope he wasn't dead? Had he succeeded in winning her heart before he died? By admitting what he saw, had Sasuke just given her cause for false hope?

"_Where?_"

But where did anxiety fit into this?

"Inside," he replied tonelessly, his dark eyes on the emotional woman before him. Her reaction promptly threw his theory out of the window—she suddenly broke into a tearful, relieved smile, her next words confusing him more.

"You—You _remember?_" she asked, her voice high and breathless. Her eyes shone with tears, her smile trembling with the force of her emotions. Her eyes squeezed shut and she buried her face into his chest. "I'm so glad, Sasuke-kun! I'm so glad!"

Questions exploded in his mind. Words and images kept erupting within and there were voices, loud and insistent, and he couldn't make sense of any and his head was pounding with the force of a hammer rammed repeatedly on his skull. _Shit_, as if he wasn't thinking enough already_—_

And Sakura's question kept repeating over and over_—_

His eyes widened and everything stilled, ice-cold fingers of fear gripping his heart.

_I forgot something._

"He's always—always so _happy _in his letters, describing the things in his travels—or what he's been doing but, but I know—I just, I just _know_, that he's not," Sakura rambled on, her voice thick with repressed tears. She lifted her head up from his chest, her eyes shining, "He cares for you so_—_"

Too late.

"Sa_—_?"

Sasuke had hidden his confusion too late.

Sakura jumped away from him, her face paler than before as horrified realization dawned in her eyes. An odd mixture of frustration, betrayal, fear, and confusion drowned her features, before she abruptly turned on her back to return to where she sat. Her shoulders were rigid and she appeared so small all of a sudden, her body subconsciously drawing in on itself.

But Sasuke wouldn't have it—against his screaming dislike of touching and being touched, he grabbed Sakura's wrist in an unforgiving hold. She adamantly refused to look back as she flinched.

"Why don't I remember our teammate?"

A tense silence.

"Wrong question," Sakura said softly. She tugged on her wrist but Sasuke held tighter. With a deft twist, Sakura maneuvered her wrist out of the punishing grip to sit back on the floor across him, pink bangs covering her face.

Sasuke inwardly seethed. A long time ago, Haruno Sakura wouldn't deny him anything. Wouldn't even try to escape from him. He glared down at the downcast features, willing the fire in his eyes to singe the obstructing pink hair—it wouldn't make him feel better but maybe he could _try_.

"He's alive?" he bit out, the question more of a statement. Sakura raised her eyes, flicking his side for a second before settling on his burning dark eyes. He didn't need her answer to that question—she had more or less blurted it out already. "Where is he?"

Her green eyes flicked to his side once again. His eyes darkened. Only two people were inside the room now—the Hokage and Uzumaki Naruto. Judging by Sakura's incapacity to talk and her actions that did, only the two people inside of the whole village could talk to him about this and answer his questions.

He knew the Hokage won't tell him anything. Hell, he'd been in Konoha for ten years and he could still feel an undercurrent of animosity from the leader he had sworn to protect. She had been gracious to him in his return, had been understanding of the circumstances that drove him, had even become his fiercest defender against the council—but still, even after he had proven and continued to prove his loyalty, Sasuke knew there was still something the Hokage held against him that she couldn't let go.

If he only knew what it was.

So his best bet was Uzumaki, who seemed to be the key to this mess in his head. Naruto had possibly interacted with his former dead teammate—didn't Sakura mention that their teammate was traveling, writing letters to her, even? His house guest himself just returned from years of traveling—they must have been together before he came back.

Could this be the reason why the three had hinted of a secret surrounding the future Rokudaime, a secret that was kept from him? Because Naruto _knew_ the teammate Sasuke didn't remember? Sasuke didn't see the point in remembering that person, though—it was enough that he remembered that the dumbass had been a pain in the ass. But then, why was Sasuke starting to see things that weren't there, things he didn't know, remember?

_Would Uzumaki know what I had_—his fists clenched unconsciously—_forgotten?_

The two caught each other's eyes at the loud explosion that suddenly reverberated inside the room. Whatever Naruto had said, it must have upset the Hokage so much even the silencing wards couldn't contain the blow-up. Sasuke was feeling a curious touch of alarm, Sakura looking worriedly at the door before sighing and transferring her spring-green gaze back to the Uchiha.

"What you said earlier, Sasuke-kun," she started slowly, "what did you _really _see?"

He glanced at her for a moment, before transferring his stare on the wall beside her. "I saw him in the office. He was," he paused for a second, uncertain, "jumping."

Sakura's eyebrows furrowed. "What else?"

"You and Kakashi," Sasuke answered, frowning slightly. If he remembered correctly, Kakashi looked the same but Sakura—Sakura's hair was long. Like now.

And she was in the red dress she used to wear—as a genin. Which would mean that what he saw really was—

"And Sandaime."

_A memory._

He wasn't hallucinating. He couldn't convince himself that he was hallucinating anymore. The training field, the breakfast in his house, the hospital, the Hokage's office—

"You are," a soft voice said. Sakura was looking at him, green irises awed. "You are..." Before Sasuke could ask, she looked at him straight in the eyes, her own burning with part-hesitation and part-determination. "What else? How did he look like?"

He couldn't stop himself from scowling. "A solid shadow."

He sounded like an idiot.

"Do you still dream of it, Sasuke-kun?" she suddenly asked. He blinked. Sakura's eyes were curious—and hopeful. "Do you still dream of the sky?"

_"Sasuke-kun?"_

The only person who knew of that nocturnal peculiarity was Sakura. It had been their first mission together after he was officially cleared of his charges and things were off-kilter between them—Sakura wouldn't look at him and the few times she had to, there was hard anger and soul-chilling hatred in her green eyes, emotions that surprised him in their intensity and the mere fact of their existence. It made him think that Sakura despised him for his betrayal—but then, why would she chase after him all those bloody years?

_"What_—_"_

Things had drastically changed between them one fateful night of their two-week mission. Kakashi and Sai were taking turns on guard duty, leaving Sakura and Sasuke alone to sleep in their room. Sakura had woken up with the need to go to the bathroom, and when she came back—

_"Are you okay?"_

—Sasuke's hand was reaching up in the air.

_"Want to talk about it?"_

Sakura had immediately gone to his side, thinking he was having a nightmare and, seeing his expression, deciding to wake him up. It had been awkward after he woke up in a daze—if it hadn't been _Sakura_ who woke him, he would have used his kekkei genkai to blot out the person's memories.

_"The sky."_

She had forgotten her hatred of him in that moment, her eyes concerned as she gently prodded him with questions. In the end, he was forced to answer—the sincerity in her eyes had been comforting and understanding.

_"I dream of the sky every night."_

After that admission, Sakura had warmed up to him, little by little. After that, Sasuke made it a point to have his own sleeping place in every mission—except when his partner was Sakura. He knew he could trust her with his secret.

"Hn."

Like she had been trusted with a secret that had been kept from him for ten years.

"Did you dream... of anything new?"

His head jerked up in surprise. It was answer enough for her. "What did you dream of?"

And there it was, the sincerity that night when he reached for the sky in vain. The sting from the loss of what he couldn't grasp had been less painful, that night long ago—and Sasuke knew, as those green eyes looked into his with comfort and understanding, he knew that he could trust her with this as well.

"The sun," he murmured. "I dreamed of the sun."

He was right when she nodded, prodded gently once more, when he paused in thought. "There was something else, ne?"

Sasuke glanced to his left, catching a glimpse of the polished wood of the door. It had been in the back of his mind, that strange dream. He couldn't really let it go.

"Rain. I touched the sun, and the rain." Sakura blinked across him. He continued, his voice almost breathless in wonder. "And there was rain on my hand when I woke up."

Sakura cast a worried glance to the door, her unconscious movement not escaping his eyes. She was chewing on her bottom lip—whatever was worrying her must have been too much that a mannerism she had already let go had to come back to comfort her. He observed her glance at the door and back to him, before glancing at the door again.

"Sasuke-kun—"

"Sakura-chan! I'm hungry!" an exuberant voice yelled with the slamming of the door. Both high-level shinobi, taken unawares, flinched in surprise at the black-robed man that appeared in the hall between them all of a sudden.

"Don't surprise me like that, baka!" Sakura yelled, clutching a hand on her chest where her heart must be pounding so hard. Sasuke himself was so surprised that his Sharingan had flared up, which he promptly forced down to quell the suspicion that he had been shocked by the sudden arrival as well.

"Sorry," Naruto said, smiling and looking anything but. Pale eyebrows furrowed as his head turned about. "The pervert? I can't sense him anywhere."

"He went ahead to order for you," Sakura said, standing up and patting her rear. She glanced behind, checking for any dirt.

"Aww, Sai-yarou's so sweet!" he crooned playfully. "Must hug!"

Sasuke ignored his ire in favor of studying the shorter man, looking for any muscle tension or facial expression to hint of what he and the Hokage had talked about. Naruto babbled on, the pink-haired woman listening patiently with affection and exasperation in her eyes. His eyes narrowed when she punched the other man in the head. The idiot laughed and babbled some more.

Nothing.

Sakura punched him again.

Sasuke saw nothing.

"So, Sasuke-san," the cheerful voice called him. "Anything I can help you with?"

_Do you know what you have done to me, you_—_you man? _"I'd like to speak with you."

Naruto was quiet for a moment, tilting his head in thought. "Would later be okay?" Before Sasuke could _persuade_ for an _earlier_ time, he continued. "Later, when I get back to your place? Baa-chan said she still haven't found an apartment and I guess I'd just sleep over some other time if it's cool, Sakura-chan?"

"No problem," she assured him. Naruto directed her a bright smile, seemingly forgetting Sasuke. Sakura, herself unable to resist the smile, reached up and ruffled the yellow mess of hair.

"Fine," Sasuke said abruptly. By the time his house guest had come back, maybe his thoughts would be much more organized and he could talk to the blond without fighting the urge to beat off the idiot sensele—

He swallowed, his mouth suddenly dry.

Definitely organizing his thoughts.

"Are you coming, Sasuke-san?" the loud voice called out. Ahead, Sakura and Naruto stood waiting for him. He raised an eyebrow even as his heart skipped. The afternoon light streaming on Naruto from the window was doing strange things to his belly.

"C'mon, we don't have all day!" Naruto whined. "Wanna lunch with us or not?"

His heartbeat just won't stay normal.

"Wait, Naruto," Sakura said, laughing. "I think Sasuke-kun _fainted_ again."

He scowled. That did it. Damned ex-teammate.

Sakura waited for Sasuke to catch up, watching Naruto skip ahead of them, walking in silence until they were outside, the afternoon sun shining bright in the sky.

She held a faraway look in her eyes when she broke the silence between them, her eyes slowly traveling up to the skies. "Our teammate, Sasuke-kun—"

"Sakura-chan! Sasuke-san! Hurry up!"

Sakura woman then turned, smiling up at him. Her words were soft when she continued before walking ahead to the impatient blond, her words echoing as gently as the autumn breeze in Sasuke's ears.

_"He has the most beautiful blue eyes the sky couldn't compare with."_**  
**


	15. Chapter 13

**The Sky**

_by Hic Iacet Mori_

* * *

**Chapter 13**

_Blue._

Sasuke blinked, his eyes glued to the couple walking ahead of him once again. He was moving without thought, his feet walking with a mind all of their own as they followed Haruno Sakura and Uzumaki Naruto through the village proper. He wrenched his gaze away for the nth time, inwardly cursing his disobedient eyes. Somehow, he couldn't decide where to turn to—to the afternoon sky in its light blue glory, or to the yellow-haired stranger chatting animatedly with his pink-haired friend. While it was normally a no-contest—he gritted his teeth again as his eyes followed the loud blond—his eyes just wouldn't stop _straying_ as he vaguely wondered if those covered eyes were smiling yet again.

_Eyes._

Was it possible, really, to have such eyes that even the sky couldn't match up with them? Was it possible to have eyes that beautiful, like Sakura said? Was it possible his teammate could have those eyes?

_"He has the most beautiful blue eyes_—_"_

Eyes that _blue__?_

His breathing sharpened, forcing out a small gasp. His heartbeat kept speeding up whenever he remembered those words.

_"_—_the sky couldn't compare with."_

As if his heart knew something—

Glowing blue eyes.

—something his mind didn't know.

_"Sasuke."_

His head snapped up, his heart hammering in his chest. His eyes swiftly darted around. The world came into sharp relief, his Sharingan flaring unconsciously in his quest to find the owner of that voice, hear that voice that was causing his heart to beat so painfully right now, follow that voice that was burning him inside until every air he breathed felt like fire in his chest, felt like—

_"Sasuke."_

Felt like the sun—

He blinked rapidly, inwardly mortified at the sudden heat behind his eyes. He lowered his eyes from beneath the curtain of his midnight-blue hair, and satisfied that no one had seen that—_moment_, schooled his face back to its impassive expression, raising his head only to immediately stop short from walking.

"You okay?"

Sasuke stared blankly at the other man, his dark eyes tracing the metal covering another set of eyes. He nodded unthinkingly as his eyes mapped the fragile features before him, before almost slapping himself and grunting in reply instead.

He raised an eyebrow when Naruto remained still, golden eyebrows furrowed in an unvoiced question that clearly showed his disbelief. His head was tilted to the side, long golden hair within his robe spilling to his right, stray yellow strands touching a scarred cheek. If Sasuke wanted to, he only need to stretch out his hand—let his fingers trail up a silky bronze cheek and tuck the unruly locks behind his ear.

And it seemed—

"Wha—?"

It seemed he wanted to.

Sasuke stared at his hand in a daze, still feeling the electric heat on his fingertips. He half-expected dancing flames to appear above each finger, half-waited for ribbons of lightning to suddenly spring out from each digit. It would have made more sense to him than the ridiculous notion that it felt like—

He looked up, his eyes bewildered as he stared at the frozen blond.

—felt like the sun in his fingertips.

He suddenly saw green eyes boring into him. Sakura was right behind Naruto and—Sasuke was sure—had seen everything. He felt heat climb up from his chest as he realized what he had done, and before any of his mortification could appear on his unfortunately pale face, he ruthlessly squashed down the unwanted emotion. His eyes narrowed, almost in a challenge, and he hid his surprise when the green eyes didn't falter as they stared right back.

Sasuke was even more surprised to see that Sakura's eyes were carefully blank.

As if by tacit agreement, both broke their gazes from each other and turned to Naruto. He looked confused as he touched his own cheek, his head still tilted to the side. Sasuke's right fist curled, his mind cursing the mysterious man and his hand that still itched to feel the honeyed skin once more. Damn him and his feminine appearance—Sasuke's mind already knew that Uzumaki Naruto was a man, but it seemed his body couldn't process the information fast enough and was still reacting abnormally to his presence.

The moron must drop his henge for Sasuke's own sanity. Because he couldn't—couldn't understand why a simple touch could make something—something squeeze in his chest—

Naruto cleared his throat, trying to dispel the awkwardness. Sasuke noticed his hands clenching and unclenching at his side and he realized that maybe, Sasuke had offended his house guest with his unexpected action. What man would touch another man he had only known in a short time in such a—such an intimate way, after all?

He ignored how much the thought hurt him.

"A-Anou, let's—let's go."

"Hn."

Sakura settled between them as they continued on their way. Then, her hand slipped down to squeeze Naruto's own, their fingers interlacing as they began to talk once more. He couldn't hear what they were talking about—not with the irritated hiss in Sasuke's head urging him to break Sakura's fingers, not with how his displeased eyes wanted to disentangle the pleasing contrast of creamy white and honeyed tan from each other. He instead turned his head up back to the skies.

Strangely, though, the sky—his comfort, his peace—couldn't soothe Sasuke as it had done for many years past.

Two long and confounding minutes later, they finally reached their destination. Sasuke had never been to Ichiraku so much in a week before. This would be what, his fourth time in two days?

"Dickless. Ugly." A slight pause of surprise followed by a bland voice. "Uchiha."

Naruto's hands flew on Sai's neck with unerring accuracy. "Stop. calling. me. _that!_"

"Now Naruto, he _did _order your ramen in advance," Sakura placated, voice amused. She pried his fingers from Sai. "Eat up so we can catch up some more in my place."

Amidst Naruto's grumbles, Sai's mouth stretched into a smile. "Thank you, Ugly."

Sakura's fist flew automatically to her left, pushing Sai to the other stool so she could slide on her usual spot. Naruto snickered as he sat to her right, Sasuke slipping in quietly on his usual spot beside Naruto's right. He quietly asked for a bowl of miso ramen as the three shinobi began to dig in their pre-ordered meal.

"What did Hokage-sama ask of you?" Sai inquired. Sakura raised an eyebrow to Naruto's direction but not before giving an admonishing glare to the blunt shinobi. It was obvious that what transpired within the office wasn't meant to be known, and even if Sasuke was annoyed at the other's idiocy, he was a bit curious himself.

Naruto didn't even pause from slurping his ramen. "Well, she just asked her question with her trademark fists of the gods. And some other stuff."

Sasuke tried to think what those _some other stuff_ were that could have been devastating enough to nullify the silencing wards in the Hokage's office. He broke his chopsticks when a steaming bowl appeared before him—"_Itadakimasu"_—even as his mind tried to piece some puzzles together.

"Are you talking a—" Sakura started, green eyes surprised before being silenced by a waving tan hand.

"That came up too," he said, nodding. "The law's null now, since I got here yesterday, in fact. You guys can all talk about me all you want now."

Sasuke felt a wild surge of excitement. The law! Now he could tortu—_ask_ anyone about anything on Uzumaki Naruto!

"Including—"

"Shut it," Naruto cut in, his tone playful, metal-covered eyes directed to Sai. "That's not cleared."

_That?_

Inexplicable tension abruptly rose within the stand. Teuchi politely excused himself to attend to the restaurant adjacent to his stand, leaving the four shinobi to suffocate in the atmosphere. Sasuke didn't understand why the fine hair on his neck had begun to stand up, nor did he understand why Sai and Sakura were now staring at him.

"But he deserves to know, ne?" Sakura asked softly, her green eyes looking directly into his own dark eyes. "He's your teammate too."

_He?_

"Be honest, Sakura-chan," Naruto asked in a low voice, all trace of lightness gone. "He's better now, isn't he?"

_Better?_

Sakura's voice was distressed. "Naru—"

"_Isn't_ he?"

"But—"

"_Yes or no_, Sakura."

Sasuke didn't understand why he had flinched along with Sakura, the latter twisting her chopsticks around as she struggled to come up with an answer. Something about the rough-silk quality of Naruto's voice, smooth as clean paper and sharp as its edges, just didn't—didn't feel _right_.

"Does a heart forget, dickless?"

He felt the tension spike when, very slowly, the blond head swiveled to the direction of that annoyingly flat voice. "What are you saying?" Naruto asked in a frosty voice, and Sasuke had a sudden vision of hailstones falling from a blue-grey sky.

He still didn't understand most of what was being discussed—perhaps they forgot he was within hearing range but no, this was _intentional_ on Sakura's part and perhaps, Sai's too—but Sasuke knew it was important, he knew he must try. He couldn't understand how this question of hearts and forgetting were related to Naruto's query but he _knew_ it was significant, he knew he must try harder.

—Or maybe the pervert was just messing with Naruto's mind.

Sai went on in his typical manner of attempting a conversation. "I think a memory seal is best placed on the heart and not on the brain. Don't you agree?"

"Sai!" Sakura hissed. She was between Sai and Naruto and she could feel the chill emanating from the man on her right—Sasuke knew so because he could feel it from his left.

_Memory seal?_

His pale brows furrowed, his mind attempting to balance what he knew with what he heard for the past ten minutes. How did _memory seal_ crop up in a conversation between Naruto and the Hokage's discussion?

There was no such thing—

"Or maybe a memory seal must be placed upon both?" Sai went on, unfazed. "Memory is a higher brain mechanism according to Ugly's book. The prefrontal cortex plays a central role in the storage of memory but memories are not located in just one area of the brain. Shizune-san's book mentioned that even the hippocampus cannot be regarded as the memory center. It is merely a sorting center."

A growl.

"I have many storage for my paintings," Sai continued. The abrupt shift caught Sasuke unawares. "I am an excellent shinobi but even excellence may be thwarted. I keep them in my room and the hollow between my ceiling and my roof. But my most priceless paintings are hidden in a place only I am aware of. Even if I lose all my paintings, it would not matter at all—I will still have my painting of you."

Sasuke straightened up. Something ice-cold spilled into his veins at the matter-of-fact admission.

"You taught me to value what is precious to me, Naruto-kun," Sai said, his voice not quite toneless anymore. "If I value a painting of you that much, a person would certainly value the memory of his precious bond enough to even hide it somewhere in his heart."

Naruto's voice was oddly thick, heavy with an emotion Sasuke couldn't name and resonating in his chest. "Sai—"

Sai smiled. Sasuke unconsciously clenched a fist, feeling sick at the affection apparent in his fellow ANBU's eyes. "Even a memory seal cannot work against the heart. A heart can remember but it only forgets when it chooses to."

A tremulous smile worked its way on Naruto's lips. "You ripped off that line from my book, jackass." he chuckled, voice still husky with feeling. "And you shouldn't take it literally."

Sasuke stiffened, his blood freezing when Sai reached forward and ruffled the sunny mess of hair. "Your memory is excellent, dickless."

"Hey!"

"Wow, Sai..." Sakura finally breathed out, spring-green eyes shining with respect. "That's the first time you ever made sense!"

"You must try it some time, Ugly," Sai returned cordially. His smile stretched wider at Sakura's fist, flying to land accurately on his already-abused cheek. Naruto snorted before all-out laughing, his guffaw echoing in the stand. Unseen by his eyes, all three ninja paused to watch and listen, varying emotions displayed in different sets of eyes.

_I like—I like his laugh._

Sasuke almost grimaced. Nothing. What he had felt yesterday, earlier this morning—

Nothing had changed at all.

It was the first thing he had liked about _her_, when Sasuke thought Naruto was a girl. And now, even when he knew the truth, it still was the first thing he liked about _him_—his unbridled, unself-conscious laugh, that abandoned, carefree, musical bursts of air that bubbled out of his body and reached out to strike a chord in Sasuke's heart.

Nothing changed at all. If anything—it got worse.

Naruto finally stopped with a quirky smile. "Sai, Sai, you suddenly insightful bastard. Thank you."

Sai's smile was genuine, something Naruto must have sensed as his own smile softened. "You're welcome, dickless."

"But—" Naruto shook his head, smile dimming, "—nothing changes. Even if that person's heart remembers, or whatever shit you're trying to say. Because if what you're saying is true, that a person could… could care for a bond enough to… to hide some of his memories in his heart—then he would have remembered somehow, na?" The smile slipped, before bravely settling once more. "But some people hate bonds, 'yknow. So nothing changes."

_"Naruto taught me about bonds, Uchiha."_

"But he remembers!" Sakura protested, suddenly fierce. "Not everything, but he remembers the idea of yo—" She paused when Naruto abruptly paled. Her green eyes widened. "Na-Naruto?"

_Remember._

Sasuke was busily connecting the dots, his thoughts racing faster than he could comprehend. The conversation, the changes of topic—it was beginning to make sense in an absurd way. Naruto had a teammate—_who doesn't?_ he inwardly scoffed—who, if he was not jumping to conclusions, had no memory of him because of a memory seal—_memory seal, really?_—cast on said teammate for a reason. And perhaps he was going on a limb here, but the law that no one could mention or even breathe the name _Uzumaki Naruto_—that rule was to ensure that said teammate didn't _remember_.

But why?

As Sakura fussed on Naruto, who was unsuccessfully convincing the medic that he was fine, just fine, his eyes locked on another set of dark eyes that appeared to expect something. An image flashed in his mind, of green eyes locking into his.

_"But he deserves to know, ne? He's your teammate too."_

He inhaled sharply.

_No._

Sakura's furtive glances.

_Fucking._

Sai's enigmatic smile.

_Way._

Kakashi's cynical words.

_"Why don't I remember our teammate?"_

What he was beginning to think was so unbelievable, so fucking irrational—

_"Wrong question."_

Could it be possible? That what he had forgotten—

_Impossible..._

_Who_ he had forgotten—

"Dickless," Sai said pleasantly. "Tenten-san earlier passed by and invited you for an early dinner in Hyuuga Estate. Her children were looking for their Naru-jichan." A wicked smile flashed briefly before settling into an 'innocent' one. "I believe they are looking for your dick. Her children probably wonder if you are a man or not."

"BASTARD!"

_"Sasuke."_

That voice again. That voice that stirred such longing, such aching familiarity in his heart—

"Baka," Sakura huffed, releasing the flailing Naruto from her grasp. She mock-glared at the dark-haired irritant. "And here I thought you're normal now. I was even thinking of _accepting_ your proposal if you ever ask again."

Dark eyes crinkled shut in a smile. "Why would I when I can ask dickless?"

Sasuke's attention honed into the annoying shinobi's words. Naruto, meanwhile, flushed in irritation. "Stop that already, you asshole. I'm not giving you my surname _ever__!_"

"I can give you mine," Sai suggested helpfully. "You are the dickless one, after all."

"Pervert!"

"Though I could say nothing about your ass," he went on, a thoughtful crease on his pale forehead. "I have always thought your ass was perfect but it seemed I was mistaken. It has become wonderfully tighter and firmer after many years." Sai nodded with a pleased smile. "You certainly are the number one ninja at surprising people."

Three shinobi simultaneously exploded in red, all moving with deadly precision that marked them as elite of Konohagakure no Sato.

"You perverted _idiot__!_"

One with red cheeks and a chakra-laced punch to a previously-unmarked cheek.

"_HENTAI!_"

One with a red face and a punch to the shoulder fueled by raw power.

_Die__!_

And the last with red eyes whose kunai-wielding hand—suddenly couldn't move from the table.

_The FUCK?_

Crimson eyes looked up, the full force of his glare doubled by the sheer murderous rage of his Sharingan. A detached part of his mind commended his victim's courage for only taking a couple of steps back—the dominant part of his mind wanted blood and wanted _now_.

"Ah, Naruto, I was looking for you earlier," Hyuuga Tenten finally said, chuckling slightly. Her umber eyes glanced to Sasuke before transferring her attention back to Naruto—who was now strangling the almost-blue Sai—and Sakura, who was helping Naruto. Sasuke swiftly removed the three kunai the weapons mistress had embedded on his sleeve. He hid his own kunai with irritation, his eyes back to its pitch darkness. It wasn't as if Sai was a loss to the shinobi—

"Tenten!" Naruto exclaimed, straightening up. He broke into a wide smile, as if he wasn't attempting to kill a fellow ninja moments ago. "You want me for early dinner?"

"Un," Tenten said, nodding with a smile of her own. "The children and Neji-wedgie asked for you. Can you come?"

"Sure!" he yelled happily—then brows furrowed as his lips began to twitch. "Neji... _wedgie_?"

Tenten chuckled. "It's the only thing that rhymes. Plus he hates it." When Naruto started to open his mouth, she cut him off with a giggle. "Call him that and he'd put you in another body cast."

Sakura giggled behind her hand as Naruto snickered. "Can I hint that I know something?"

"I won't protect you," Tenten promptly answered with a teasing tone. "Later, ne? I just came by so I can personally invite you." She looked pointedly at Sai. "We all know our sociable friend here is not the most... _understanding_."

"Hai!"

"Sakura," Tenten said. Sakura turned to her. "Hinata returned earlier and she wants to talk to you about her pregnancy. She asks if you can come by this evening as well." At Sakura's nod, Tenten smiled. "I'll tell her that."

Then, she turned to the dark-haired shinobi currently touching his bruises. "Sai. Please survive," Tenten stated dryly.

"Likewise, Tenten-san." Sai nodded from where he had been pushed at the floor of Ichiraku. "Hyuuga's libido se—"

In a flash, the three kunai Sasuke had irritably set on the table vanished, appearing between Tenten's fingers as they hovered on Sai's neck. "Now Sai-san, what did I say about your cordial mouth?" Tenten asked playfully, her smile glinting like the steel fanned in her hand. She pressed forward, ignoring the kunai in Sai's hand that flashed to her jugular.

Sai smiled back. "That it is cordial?"

Tenten laughed and, by mutual agreement, both retracted their weapons. "Fair enough." The two stood up, Sai returning to his seat and Tenten turning to leave. But not before pausing to address the last person in the stand.

"Sasuke," she said softly, so softly that only he could hear. Sasuke didn't look up, only moving his head an inch to show he was listening. "Please keep your emotions in check. You might start something once again."

His head whipped up to glare in question but Hyuuga Tenten merely dipped her head with an apologetic smile. She tilted her head unobtrusively to his left where Naruto and Sai were arguing loudly once again—rather, where Naruto was yelling and Sai was smiling. He caught a meaningful look between Sakura and Tenten and, with a last smile, the latter left as quietly as she appeared.

_Start something once again_—_the hell does that mean?_

"C'mon, Sakura-chan! It's getting late," Naruto whined from his left. "I'm very popular right now and you may never get the chance to have your way with me ever again!"

"Baka!"

Sasuke's attention returned to his previous thought—at the very incredulous, highly-illogical thought that sprang up in his mind and now wouldn't stop itself from rearing its irrational head. What he had learned, what he had heard—what the others seemed to be implying to him—but it could be just coincidence, right? That he didn't remember his own teammate and Naruto's own teammate—didn't... remember... him?

Because if what his insane, overworked, delusional mind had concluded was true—

"Ja, Sasuke-san!" Naruto happily shouted. He didn't even hear Sakura's parting words as his dark eyes focused on him—this familiar stranger who arrived and threw everything in Sasuke's life out of focus.

—why would they cast a memory seal on _him_?

He remembered nodding in acknowledgement and watching the two leave, a strange pain knotting in his chest. He vaguely wondered what emotion it was, wondered why every emotion he didn't even know he had were suddenly appearing left and right.

Why they only did after a man in black cloak had almost thrust a kunai to his neck.

Sasuke shook his head. Everything was confusing enough as it was—he didn't need to complicate everything else with emotions. As he turned to finish his now-cold ramen, he caught dark eyes watching him in contemplative silence. He felt a burning stir in his veins, his earlier fury coming back with a vengeance. His eyes shifted between black and red, becoming a decidedly wrathful crimson at the smile that stretched the blank face.

"Ask one question, Uchiha."

In confusion, the Sharingan wavered before Sasuke regarded his fellow ANBU with a cool, black gaze. He may have to let Sai continue his existence, after all.

"Who is our teammate?" he demanded, voice chilly and flat.

He clenched a fist when Sai's smile turned into a smirk. "We are not teammates, Uchiha. Never are, never were."

_This fucking—stupid—misunderstanding—idiot_—

"Who is my teammate?" he spat out.

He blinked in surprise when Sai leaned closer, a genuine smile swimming on the ashen face and dark eyes like his own happily curving shut.

"Now, Uchiha... _that_ is the right question."


	16. Chapter 14

**The Sky**

_by Hic Iacet Mori_

* * *

**Chapter 14**

He opened his eyes once more, feeling the now-familiar buzz of irritation pulling at his thoughts. As he had been doing for the past hour, Sasuke ruthlessly smothered its head, his grip on his kunai becoming decidedly more vicious against an enemy that couldn't be seen.

His eyes flashed an eerie liquid black, gleaming against the shroud of curtains protecting his room and himself from the dying afternoon light. He had been inside his darkened room for the past hours, opting to vent his ire on the more leisurely pursuit of cleaning his deadly weaponry. He knew training would let off steam much much more but he was all too aware of his less-than-rational state of mind—he would end up inflicting unwarranted punishment upon himself, what with the sheer amount of frustration in his system that had skyrocketed after an encounter hours past.

There was a lot to mull over, a lot of information to glean—there were a lot of pieces in the puzzle that was suddenly thrust into his face, and Sasuke wouldn't be an Uchiha if he simply let it go, never mind that no one had asked if he wanted to complete a thousand-piece puzzle in the first place. He had his pride and it wasn't his way to just stand by and allow revelations to slap him left and right—he had to strike back.

He sighed. Revelations. Sasuke despised the word for everything it stood for him—the regret over the death of an innocent by his hand, regret over the death of his nii-san before his very eyes. Regret over what he had learned too late, had understood too late. Regret over the hatred that attempted to smother his love for the brother he had never stopped looking up to, over the love he pretended to be dead—the love that fueled his hatred, the love that almost _killed _him at the revelations that came after too late, too fucking late. He was broken, he knew, had been broken since that night that _Sasuke-chan_ died—but after _that_ battle, after _that_ day, after their paths crossed for the very last time—

His hands shook.

After those words—

_"Sorry, Sasuke..."_

After that smile—

_"This is the last time."_

He clenched his fists. It was enough, enough that he had done what his nii-san had wanted him to do. Even in his own death Itachi had left him a new purpose, a new goal, with gifts he could use to see that mission through—the end of the life of the man who had started the chain of betrayal, Madara of the cursed Uchiha Ichizoku. He had finally ended the insanity of that bastard, had finished the mission entrusted by his nii-san with his Amaterasu and Mangekyou Sharingan. And in the end he had finally understood, had accepted at last that most of all—

Sasuke blinked, willing his sight to focus.

—most of all, Uchiha Itachi had died by Uchiha Sasuke's hands, just as his nii-san had always wanted it to be.

He chuckled weakly. Ten years—it was already ten years and still, he couldn't stop blaming himself. Itachi would probably call him the foolish otouto he really was after all, had he been here, and maybe even flicked his forehead for giving in to this weakness that never completely faded. His younger life had been largely defined by self-loathing—_for being the only one to survive when he should have died, for being the only one to live, alone, with no one to run to hold on to cry on to too weak and broken and hurthurthurt_—bottled within him when he should have let it all out, when he should have let it all go—_but he had been a child despite everything and he didn't know any better and he needed to hold on to the only thing he had left_—

But now Sasuke knew, and he knew as well that his nii-san wouldn't be pleased to see him in this destructive cycle of Itachi's own making, in this destructive cycle that Sasuke couldn't stop repeating—that weakness of hating and blaming because those were what he only understood, that weakness of believing that he was beyond saving.

And he knew too, that his nii-san really did care for him because, in the end, Itachi didn't want Sasuke to be like him. In the end, he didn't want his otouto to loathe himself the way he had—

_"Not enough hatred."_

The way he had loathed himself enough to believe that he didn't deserve his otouto's forgiveness—

_"Hate me."_

Love.

He reached out and grabbed his water bottle, uncapping the lid and taking a deep swallow. He wiped his mouth with the back of his hand, smirking faintly at his thoughts against the burning in his throat that wasn't quite gone. It had been years since Sasuke had allowed his mind to venture into painful territory, and he was surprised that aside from the numb ache in his chest, he found he could think about everything without suffocating anymore.

_You fucked up my life._

Some time he wasn't looking, he had started to heal—

_But tough love had always been the Uchiha way, na? We can't just say it, show it, can we? We are_—_idiots that way._

—he had started to let go.

_You showed me—that the greatest act of love is to sacrifice your life for another. That the greatest act of loyalty is to protect even those who betrayed you. That the greatest act of courage is to stay standing despite every fight you lost, to continue the fight to the last air you breathe, to go on until the last beat of your heart. To fight the darkness that wished to claim you_—_to fight the chain others force on you_—_to fight for what you believe in, for the right to live, to breathe, to be. I learned them all, after everything._

Sasuke closed his eyes.

_From you._

A slight tilt of his lips.

_I hope I'm making you proud_—

Now he couldn't just honor his brother in life—he could honor his nii-san in death, too.

—_Nii-san._

He shook his head off the bittersweet thoughts—_I want to fuck up your after-life as payback but you also showed me we can't have everything we want—_picking up the kunai once again. In an attempt to divert his attention, his mind went back to its previous unwanted thought—

Death.

His mind got lost in thoughts, his eyes unseeing as he began polishing the weapon in his hand.

Someone wasn't as dead as Sasuke believed.

His hands began to shake, his eyes looking down sharply as he swiftly steadied his hold on the kunai and rag. His jaw clenched as the past encounters, the past infinity wrapped in two days—_was it really just two days?_—flashed in his mind, foremost the discoveries that his teammate was _alive_ and that he had _forgotten—_and that these two discoveries were related with each other. Hidden from him for _ten years, _and even as his mind attempted to shed light on what he had learned, he wondered furiously what else had been kept from him.

Who told him the fourth member of Team Seven was _dead_?

He raised his kunai to eye-level, observing its reflection—he could see his blank features mirrored by the weapon and, for a moment, he saw features similar to his own with a smile unlike his. His grip on the weapon tightened and, in a flash, the kunai was in the wall to his right and quivering from the force of his throw.

_Was it Kakashi?_

Out of anyone in Konoha, it was Hatake Kakashi who had more or less treated him the same way he had been treated before he had gone to Orochimaru. It was as if nothing had changed between them and for that he was grudgingly grateful—Kakashi had remained as annoying as he was back when Sasuke was a genin. Yet he had sensed that something had changed with the jounin, a change that he couldn't decipher and he couldn't really begrudge the older nin because he, himself, had changed. The only thing visibly out of the ordinary that Sasuke had discovered was that whenever he was in the village, Kakashi would disappear into the park when the sun was at its highest.

It was after the only time he had asked Kakashi that he discovered this oddity. After his less than enthusiastic query on the whereabouts of his stupid ex-teammate, the former ANBU had simply closed his eye and said he was late for a meeting with the Hokage in that aggravatingly cheery manner. He had been displeased with the brush-off and, knowing that Kakashi was keeping something from him, Sasuke had followed him. He ended up staring down at his former sensei, who had gone into the park—sat on a swing—and just _sat_.

He didn't ask Kakashi again.

_Sakura?_

After their first mission together, Haruno Sakura had stopped alternately glowering at him and pretending he never existed. That _secret_ had become the foundation of a new relationship between them, a hesitant friendship that was as fragile as the seams of a threadbare shawl. Still, it had taken almost a year, after that night, before Sakura was able to look at him without that peculiar accusation in her eyes.

They were in the hospital that day—Sasuke was recovering from Chidori overuse, and Sakura was recovering from chakra depletion after healing two squads on a misranked joint-mission. Somehow, the peaceful atmosphere among the walls of white had triggered a memory, of lying on the hospital bed with an idiotic, loud-mouthed teammate on the other bed instead of Sakura. Hiding his curiosity, he inquired about their teammate with his usual indifference. Sakura only responded by clenching her fists and looking away—but not before Sasuke saw tears misting her eyes, making them brighter and dimmer and _tired_ in the same breath.

He thought it was answer enough.

_The asshole?_

His fists unconsciously clenched.

_"Now I must go. Ja, Uchiha."_

He steadied his hand as he picked up another kunai. His hold on his rag was tight, punishing.

_"You didn't answer my question."_

That retard.

_"You asked two."_

That useless _retard_.

He drew a calming breath, his mind seeking that island of inner peace. But peace was as elusive right now as his control, just as things he couldn't name had eluded him for years. His eyes closed briefly, pondering. He didn't quite understand, himself, why—he had gotten along with Sai for the past years, along in the sense that he hadn't felt the urge to sever the other ANBU's carotid artery as he had been feeling the urge to since yesterday. Sai was one of the many colleagues he had to interact with and Sasuke had no trouble interacting with him during the odd times they were forced to in the past.

He had known as soon as they had met that the asshole had been his replacement in his former genin cell, but he had never felt anything about the revelation aside from a slight twinge of irritation at being replaced by so incompetent a shinobi. It had been a slight against his skills to be replaced by worm fodder, but he had quickly lost interest in the same second because he just didn't give a damn. They could have replaced him with one of his fan girls and he wouldn't give a damn at all.

_"I answered one question."_

But now, now—he couldn't stand being around that annoying shinobi and his knowing eyes. He couldn't stand not being able to wipe that false smile off the asshole's face. He couldn't stand not knowing something that the fucking pervert obviously knew and was waving right before his own eyes.

He couldn't _stand_ Sai.

So Sasuke had jumped up and raised his sleeves, ready to summon an ocean of shuriken from his uncovered wrists, his mind fluently cursing himself for leaving his chokuto or even his ANBU-issued ninjato at home. The idiot before him summoned his set of sai from one of the many scrolls he carried around, a mocking smirk on the infuriatingly pale face.

_"Only Ugly and dickless can escape with physical assault against me, Uchiha. Don't imagine familiarity with them will extend to you as well."_

As if he gave a shit.

Sasuke had found himself outside Ichiraku, attacking the asshole in the suddenly-cleared street. His dark eyes were burning, his killing intent coming out in waves as he sought to hurt the other shinobi in ways no one else could.

He couldn't say he and Sai were an even match, but he had to admit the other could hold his own in a melee—that aside, Sasuke had been unable to stop himself from sneering whenever he landed a hit on the pervert, his mind chuckling with dark pleasure at every projectile the retard couldn't deflect. Not to say he was unscathed—Sasuke had a few scratches here and there, enough to add fuel to his irritation at the purposefully irritating irritant with the irritating smile.

Sasuke snorted, recalling the surprise in dull dark eyes when one of the shuriken he had thrown transformed into a fuuma shuriken, wheeling back to hit the idiot from behind. Sai had dodged at the last minute, the blade instead grazing disappointingly on his arm and cutting his skin open. It was enjoyable to see that stream of blood on the other's arm and Sasuke was determined to see how much more it could bleed when he raised his fuuma shuriken anew.

_Tch._

His eyes landed on a shadowy corner of his room, the smirk on his lips tightening into a grim line. He huffed and continued with his task, imagining the hilt of his kunai to be a certain shinobi's neck.

Sasuke had just suddenly been unable to move.

_"Che. This is entirely too troublesome."_

Before he realized what happened, the kunai shining in his hand was now buried next to the kunai he had thrown to the wall before.

_"To what do I owe your whipped ass, Nara?"_

He glared at the shadows in the corner of his room, glaring one last time before picking up another kunai.

_"Heard Naruto's back."_

He had straightened up after being released from Kagemane no Jutsu. There won't be fighting anymore so he swiftly summoned his weapons back, ignoring the calculating gaze of the newly-arrived tokubetsu jounin.

_"He left with Ugly. He will be at Hyuuga's for dinner."_

His face had been perfectly composed when he came out once more, having gone back to Ichiraku to pay for his ramen and give a nod of apology to the tolerant owner. He glanced coolly at the conversing ninja and turned away, still inwardly annoyed at the turn of events—he hadn't even sensed the arrival of the lazy tensai, so immersed was he at rearranging his replacement's features—now he was angry, irritated, and frustrated all rolled into one, and he could do nothing else but go home unless he wanted Nara Shikamaru to turn him, an ANBU captain, in for disrupting the peace in the village proper.

Not that Sasuke would do it again—he was angry at himself for losing control like that, despite how much he enjoyed throwing pointy objects at the pervert. He had more control than that, dammit.

_"Do you hate me, Uchiha?"_

The new kunai in his hand shone fiercely, its steel body casting an eerie glow upon Sasuke's blank eyes. How dare that asshole imply he was worth such a strong feeling from an Uchiha? How dare that bastard think that he was worth _his_ time, _his_ effort, _his_ passion, _his_ acknowledgment?

_"Is it because I have something you don't?"_

Uchiha Sasuke, _envious_ of him?

_"**Someone** you don't?"_

_Jealous_ of him?

_"Tch. Stop meddling, Sai."_

He threw a chilling glare behind him, back at that asshole wearing a fake smile despite his bleeding lips. Shikamaru had been yawning, his stance conveying his apathetic barely-there interest at what his eyes had obviously deemed a skirmish between two immature dolts. Anyone could see Nara's pride and respect of Konoha ANBU.

_"Likewise, Temari's bitch."_

Sneering to himself, he had tucked his hands in his pockets and took a step forward. He had taken a couple of steps when he froze, an unpleasant presence prickling behind him.

_"Ask yourself why, little homo."_

Sasuke had swiftly turned around to punch the soul out of the perverted asshole, earning himself a disgusting giggle before the Sai he had punched revealed itself to be a sumi bunshin. His flaring Sharingan transferred to Shikamaru, who merely shrugged before walking away—leaving Sasuke with a face white with fury, eyes crimson with bloodlust, and a fist drowned in black ink while the last words of the smug asshole settled in his mind the way the viscous liquid in his hand did.

_Little... homo..._

He had swiftly gone home and vigorously washed himself until his pale skin glowed pink, paying special attention to his hands. Despite how clean he was now, his mind refused to let go of the trash that infuriating asshole had thrown in his face.

_Ask yourself why._

He released the kunai in his hand, clattering to the floor as the now-freed hand reached up to cover his eyes. He didn't understand but knew the answer. He knew the fucking answer and he couldn't ignore it anymore.

Everything—_everything_ began the day Uzumaki Naruto came into his life. Everything had changed since that man's arrival, since that man brought mysteries and doubts and questions and _feelings_. Everything came back to this stranger who felt more familiar than anyone Sasuke ever met, looked so disconcertingly _perfect _in the presence of everything and everyone related to him. He didn't even know him, he had only just met him—

Heat flared behind his eyes.

And yet he had _felt_ more around him than Sasuke ever had in ten years. But now it appeared that they shared a deeper connection than of host and house guest, ANBU captain and heir apparent—it seemed whatever he _forgot_, as Sakura's slip made him _realize_—

_How do you know you forgot when you don't remember missing anything?_

—was connected directly to Uzumaki Naruto. Naruto, chosen Rokudaime Hokage, friend and former teammate to Sakura, Kakashi, Sai, and—it seemed—it seemed—

Sasuke closed his eyes in defeat.

_Me._

They were _teammates_, at least, that dark rambunctious shadow that made him frown, made him smile. The muted loud silhouette who understood his unvoiced thoughts. That _loser_, that _idiot_, who pushed him, annoyed him, inspired him, sickened hi—

His eyes flew open in a stunning realization.

No one told him the last member of Team Seven died! It was he _himself_ who had drawn that conclusion—

_"That's when they die."_

—_him_, Uchiha Sasuke, who presumed their teammate _dead__!_

_Me_—_!_

Because no one _told_ him. No one had said _anything_ about their last member's whereabouts, _anything_ about what happened to him, _anything_ about him at all. As if no one wanted to talk abou—

A cold weight dropped in his stomach.

_The law._

His fists tightened. His body shifted forward and his knees came up to support his painfully tight chest, his hair falling forward to cover his eyes. Suddenly he couldn't sit straight—suddenly he couldn't summon the strength to anymore.

_So it's true._

The inexplicable knowledge of an absence in his mind. The indecipherable loneliness in the furthest reaches of his heart. The insoluble emptiness in his soul that made him a creature who breathed and existed but never lived, never lived outside the gaping void that had shadowed him for years.

_I can't_—

For years he endured that feeling of void, of loss, of absolute _cold_ at odd moments in his life, trying to believe that one day he would find what would drive this feeling away. For years he dreamed, _gave up_, on that impossible home, accepted that the future he desired would never be in his reach—_that the sky and the sun and the wind and the fire were castles in the sky that weren't meant to be his_—for years he accepted he was nothing more than a tool, a human only in his sleep—_when he could try to reach up once more and pretend that one day, one day he could touch what was impossible to grasp_—for years he lived under a blanket of skies and a carpet of grass, with contentment and emptiness every blue-white morning-night that reminded him he was not just breathing, not just existing, he was _alive_, still alive, and he should be living outside the world in his dreams.

_I won't_—

For years he tried to live.

_I'm not_—

Lived.

_No more._

For years he lived a lie.

_No more._

He squeezed his eyes shut, releasing a shuddering breath. He needed something—something constant he could hold on to. Something real. Something true. But what could there be under a cover of falsehood? Who could there be under a shroud of lies?

_I don't want to think anymore._

If a tear falls in a room and no one is around to hear it, does it make a sound?

* * *

It was dark in the kitchen but he couldn't bring himself to care. He much rather liked it, in fact. And anyway, it wasn't as if they needed the light to talk—not when one of them couldn't see and the other could see in the dark just fine.

Now if only the other participant of _the talk_ he had been wanting to start would arrive—

Sasuke had been staring mulishly at his dinner for over an hour already, refusing to entertain the thought that maybe his house guest wouldn't return any time soon. He knew Naruto was invited to an early dinner, an affair he expected to have ended a couple of hours ago, and judging from the height of the moon outside his kitchen window, he surmised it was well past nine in the evening already—well past dinner. Well past the time Naruto should have returned.

_Maybe he's not coming back._

Sasuke shook his head. No—Naruto promised they would talk tonight, and from what he had heard and understood in their interactions, Naruto never backed down from his word. So where was he now? Where was he when he was supposed to be here? Was he still with Hyuuga? With Sakura? Nara? Sai?

The chopstick in his hand snapped into two.

_That late idiot_—

He pushed back from his chair and stood up, stalking out of the kitchen. He would punch the moron senseless tomorrow for making him wait, for making him confused over this irrational _anger _at not seeing his stupid feminine face across him over dinner. For making him feel—feel _afraid_ because he was somewhere Sasuke wasn't. For making him _feel_, damn him.

_Damn him to hell for making me like this._

Curtains flew up as a cold wind whipped past.

He wasn't hungry.

* * *

He could see pink from the translucent world behind his eyes, the onslaught of bright rays changing darkness into a reddish shadow of itself. His left arm was behind him, propping his head above the grasses that swayed despite the absence of the wind—his right arm was curved over his stomach, his chest rising and falling in perfect rhythm with the dance of the glowing verdant field.

His eyes half-opened, observing the white clouds rolling in the blindingly blue horizon it was almost white. Though Sasuke preferred a cloudless sky, there was something about clouds that he didn't mind so much anymore, after that one time he spied a cloud formation that resembled a fox. It was a strangely charming sight and, for the first and last time, Sasuke had wanted to touch the clouds too—the image of that fox-cloud smiling down with an aura of mischief evoked in him such warmth that had stayed in him for a week.

Yet—there's something odd about these clouds above him, an intangible uncertainty that his mind understood but couldn't explain. The clouds were white curls of lazy perfection, angel-soft brushes against the canvas of heaven blue as they drifted like dandelion seeds in their virgin flights—the firmament was a vision of pristine, breathtaking beauty. And yet—

Yet Sasuke felt cold where warmth should be.

He shook his head, his eyes completely opening as they darted around. Nothing was out of place—not the grasses, not the clouds, not the sky—not even the lone, almost-leafless tree in the middle of the field that he sometimes find himself reclining under. Everything was as it was—except perhaps the sun, but it was a new addition to his world and it didn't count—so where was this chill coming from? What was this feeling that was making his nerves go haywire? What was causing it?

Sasuke learned long ago to trust his instinct no matter what was before him. And Sasuke was Sasuke, whether existing in the world outside his dream or living in the world inside it—so he closed his eyes and spread out his chakra, his senses heightening and his nerves tingling.

From out of nowhere he felt something fall upon him, intangible in its heaviness and paralyzing in its intensity. He turned his head, eyes wide, confused at the sight of a pinprick of shadow on his arm.

A dormant part of his mind stirred—it echoed a declaration that shadows had no place in this world, that only light was meant to exist under the sun and the sky. Amidst the clamoring in his head, his black eyes looked up, searching the heavens for an answer, before stopping.

_The clouds_—_?_

Sasuke shook his head, eyes still fixed above him—_are the clouds falling?_ His mind quickly discarded the asinine question, realizing it wasn't _clouds _that were falling—not when the clouds were rolling in satisfaction as only clouds could. It was—something else.

He blinked. Stilled. What was that? He could have sworn he heard something—a sound between a muted roar and a low whine. He blinked again, hearing the peculiar noise once more. It was louder. Getting louder, and louder, until it was now a great roar.

He winced and covered his ears. As he watched and tried not to hear, Sasuke came to the startling conclusion that the bigger the shadow upon him fall, the louder the roar become.

_Falling. Something_—_falling_—

But all these were lost to him, when his chest suddenly throbbed and his heartbeat rapidly sped and his heart started pounding to an excruciating tempo. A fiery sensation caught in his throat, his stomach twisting upon a cold void of numbness so bewildering so sudden so _painful _and he felt a powerful urge to claw at his torso, to force the chilly _heat_ and searing _ice_ out of his body, to regain a measure of normalcy in his body that was rapidly churning _heat_ and _cold_ and _pain_ and _spinningspinningspinning_ out of his control and he lunged forward, forced himself to throw up something, _anything_—his stomach or lungs or his heart or his brain, maybe even his_ soul_—_anything_ to make _everything_ _stop oh please **stop**_—

And the shadow was getting heavier and suffocating the life out of him and intensifying this strange feeling too intense to be called _pain_—he was hurting and he didn't understand and the din in his head was increasing it tenfold and there were too much hurts too much pains too much_ too much_ and it needed to_ stop_ like the heavy shadow was supposed to stop and he needed to make something _stop_ and he struggled to stand up—_stop please stop_—and raised wild eyes to the sky—_please_—angry roars from nowhere tuned out by the screams and yells in his mind—_oh please_—his eyes seeking the source of one of his tortures that needed to—**_stop!_**—

His eyes widened

And to Uchiha Sasuke, everything _stopped_.

He dropped to his knees, the pain racking his body and mind stealing the strength from his limbs. He struggled to raise his head, his breath coming out in short pants as a heavy gate of gold descended ominously from the sky. It was coming closer, the roar getting louder—and his eyes were shuttering close, darkness pulling at his consciousness as his tortured self sought rest, sought relief from the chilly heat and searing ice and feeling too intense to be called pain. But something's not right, something's _wrong_—so he blinked once, twice, forced his eyes open one last time, his heavy eyes following the path of the descending gate, his sluggish mind attempting to make sense of—of something—something he'd—focus on later when—when he... when he wasn't... too weak... tired... fucking tired...

—_enough to live_—

His head snapped up.

—_for you_—

Black pupils dilated into pinpricks on red.

_"You'll... make everything... better?"_

And suddenly, he heard screams.

_"Why do you come so far for me?_"

—screams of emptiness from hurt and betrayal, of forcing and ripping and torture and suffering—

_"To me, this is one of my first bonds."_

—screams of insanity from agony and torment, of the dying, the living, of existing and vanishing—

_"When I'm with Iruka-sensei, I think if that's what having a father is like__—"_

—of souls burning, hearts shattering, of haunting void deepening—of pain and desperation and anguish unending—

_"When I'm with you, I think if that's what having a brother is like."_

—of every piece, every fragment, of every iota of being—of ear-piercing, heart-breaking, soul-racking grief.

_"The pain of being lonely... is out of this world, isn't it?"_

As the gate drew nearer between shadow and light, as the gate dropped faster between man and the sun, as the gate descended cruelly between him and his sky—

Sasuke kept screaming.

The screams intensified with a chorus of screams—the screams of one thousand birds that would not be caged. Under the fast-disappearing sky in a rapidly-collapsing world, one thousand and one beings would not be denied.

_"**Chidori!**"_

Sasuke's left arm shot through thick golden bars the precise moment the gate landed, punching a gaping hole that allowed the sun's light from the other side to filter past. Immediately, wind slammed into his body with the force of a gale, trying to push him back to the shadows beginning to claim his body with their cold black fingers—he refused to give ground by sheer force of will, immovable as the blue-white lightning crackled in his fist and intensified.

The wind abruptly died. In its wake, something wet and cold slapped gently at his feet.

_... Water?_

He stared down in a daze, his breath still coming out in swift shallow pants. He was standing on water—_Suimen Hokou no Gyou_, he thought faintly—but what puzzled him was his white shorts.

He hadn't worn shorts since he arrived in Oto.

Sasuke flinched. Something had landed on his wrist, something feverishly hot-cold and soft-hard that he couldn't begin to imagine what it could possibly be. His head slowly raised, his eyes steadily following the length of his left arm—and stopped.

A hand. An opaque black hand was touching him. No, not _touching_, Sasuke realized with rising apprehension. The black hand, linked to a black arm, to a black body hovering on the water—grasping— clinging—grappling—clawing—

Comforting—comforting _him_—

_No_—

—because—

_Why_—

Sasuke had driven a Chidori to his teammate's chest.

He watched in horrified fascination as the black arm receded into orange, black fingers seeking purchase changing into long tan fingers. His eyes traveled up, following the receding path of the opaque blackness—there was more orange, then blue on the shoulders, then white on the neck, then—

_"Sa_-_Sa_—_"_

He felt bile rise on his throat, his stomach twist as his senses viciously assaulted him—hot viscous fluid, sharp splintering bones, heated tender muscles all surrounding his left arm that just wouldn't _move_. He could feel the life trickling out of his teammate, he could feel the other's struggle to escape, to breathe, to live—

_Don't die_—

Could feel the sad resignation resonate through his fingertips—

_Don't give up. Don't die!_

Heat stung his wide eyes.

_Move!_ he screamed to his body._ Move!_

The screams intensified into one long scream, joining the screams of one thousand birds crying for blood.

_Stop it!_

His dilated eyes watched in dazed horror as orange and blue and white and tan turned into a sea of black, as infinite and secretive as the moonless night sky.

_Stopstopstopstop**stop!**_

And familiar.

"Sa—"

The orange-sleeved arm changed into billowing black, fingers lengthening into elegant bloodless fingers within fingerless gloves. He followed the blackness until he looked up—up into a pale whiskered face with metal-covered eyes.

It took him a second to realize what he had done.

_U..._

Before him.

_Su..._

His Chidori.

_Ra..._

His fist.

_Ton..._

Through—

_Ka..._

Through Uzumaki Naruto—

_Chi..._

Through Uzumaki Naruto's chest.

"—su—"

He watched through blurry heated eyes as blood streamed down those lips.

_No_—

Lips parting to gasp out a name.

_This_—_not true_—_not true_—

Screams. He could still hear the screams.

_Dammitwakeupwakeupwakeup**wakeup!**_

But it was real. Everything was real. The hot viscous fluid. The sharp splintering bones. The heated tender muscles. The ache in his heart that had spread throughout his body until he was not him, not human, just a mass of pain and agony and torment and wild wild desperation.

_Move, please..._

Pained eyes. Haunted. Betrayed.

"—ke..."

Hurt.

_Please..._

Blue.

With a choked sound, he pulled out his fist.

_Please..._

The screams died abruptly.

_Don't leave me anymore..._

His burning eyes closed.

His arms reached out.

His heart stopped.

_Usura_—_tonkachi_—

In the silence, the rain gently fell in a forgotten lullaby.


	17. His Eye That Saw the Noon

**The Sky**

_by Hic Iacet Mori _

* * *

**His Eye That Saw the Noon**

He finally saw him the day he came too late.

Once a year, the Hokage of Konoha would grant him permission to leave the village. The guards would nod in puzzled silence and he would give a jaunty nod back, and he would slip past the gates to venture into the forest. The ANBU knew to stay away as he darted among the trees, and half-way through his journey his summon would appear. His ninken would perch atop his head and there would be no room for words—no room for sounds that were not the music of the leaves. He would run through the forest until he reached his destination, until the music of the leaves died and the music that remained were of crashing and roaring and falling apart.

_(and crying, if he listened hard enough_—_and he did)_

And he would stop, and he would breathe, and he would _hear_. And then he would see a vision that never disappeared, like the visions of a past that he never allowed himself to leave. He would see a vision that never died, like the visions of a future that he finally allowed himself to see.

He found it ironic, its name—to him, it was the valley where everything began.

_(he could see _him_ in his mind as _he_ lay on the wet bank—innocent of a world forever changed and gone)_

As he remembered _him_ in peaceful repose, he began to see _him_ for who _he _really _was_—not his teammate _(It's a mystery how you ever became a jounin!)_, not his sensei _(Hey! Don't talk like that, Kakashi!)_, but his lonely student broken far worse than anyone should be. He was _his_ sensei and _he_ was his student, and that day he began to see how much he had failed.

That day he began to see how much he had _lost._

_(because he had failed to save _them_ and he didn't want to fail _him_ too—_he_ had his teammate's heart and his sensei's spirit, and he had failed to save _them _when _they_ were last with him)_

Yet that day, that afternoon, when light had broken through—

He had seen _hope_.

Once a year, he visited the place where he had understood. There were no dark skies or scents of rain unlike _then—_it was only him and the sun and the shadow of the falls.

* * *

Six months after Naruto came back, Kakashi's tradition changed.

He understood why he was there and though he wondered how he knew, he didn't think to question his presence. The sun was rising when he appeared beside him, silent and unquestioning as if he wasn't there at all. Hours later and they reached the border of the country, both stopping to ponder over the tableau before their eyes—one stared down at the falls crashing into the river, and the other looked up into the bright cloudless skies. Everything looked so tranquil, looked the nearest to perfection that it could ever be—but he knew it was fleeting because time stopped for no one and nothing could ever be still.

"I want to think—that someday, sensei, it'd be like this."

Kakashi turned to his companion, surprised at his words—and the mere fact it took him too long to break his silence.

"Peaceful. Everything. Like _this_," Naruto answered his silent query, his hands spreading out before him in an unconscious embrace. His eyes never left the morning sky as he went on _(his eyes saw farther than any of them could see)_, "Someday there'll be peace like this. Better than this one here right in front of us. We wouldn't have to go to war and we won't need to fight so much, at _all_. Maybe there'd come a time when we won't need shinobi to _have_ to fight other shinobi."

He turned to him, his blue eyes glowing _(they always shine with a light that came from within)_. "Someday, no one would have to_ kill_ and no one would have to lose their precious people. No one will lose their _fathers_, or their _mothers_, or their _brothers_ or _sisters_ or _sensei_ or_ teammates_. No one—No one will have to lose their _friends_.

"Someday—someday it'd be like this. No," he shook his head _(his sight had always been better)_, "it'd be _greater_ than this."

Throughout his student's monologue, Kakashi's eye had softened _(he always made people believe)_ until his hand landed on the unruly mess of gold. Naruto scowled at him before looking to the falls with a little smile.

"Someday things would be peaceful like this, Kakashi-sensei. Like that noisy falls and that quiet river always staying together." His voice grew softer. "Iruka-sensei showed me a painting once, see. There's this bird, made a nest and hatched her eggs behind the falls, and I thought it's weird she'd want to stay there. _'It's so noisy there, sensei, like many people yelling in your ear and not stopping_._'_ Like many things breaking at the same time. And Iruka-sensei said—he said it was _peace_."

His lips lifted up in a smile. "I think I get it now."

A pause, his eyes closing, and Kakashi waited for him to continue. "So—we just try harder and harder to understand each other, until we're like the river and the falls and the bird living behind it. Until we have peace like that bird, until we can live with our noisy differences and thoughts and feelings and not hate each other because of how _different_ we all are."

_(he always believed when others had given up)_

_"_Then, then we won't have to fight all the time—or even fight anymore! And we won't have to lose our precious people in battles and massacres and-and _revenge_ anymore. We just let go of the past and we move forward, and forward, and _forward _some more, until we had left them all behind—all those shadows and scars and shit that just make people suffer. And until that happens, we just work hard and believe that everything—that everything we do is _worth_ that peace. That everything we do will _lead_ to that peace. That believing in us, in ourselves, in others who aren't that same to us... in—in _that bastard_—"

_(he still believed even when others had let him down)_

Naruto turned back to him, meeting his gray eye with pleading blue eyes. "We just believe, na, Kakashi-sensei? We can do that, na?"

_(he still believed in _him_)_

He could feel his Sharingan heating up under the cover of his hitai'ate. His gray eye curved as his crimson eye flared, soothing hot liquid trickling down his mask for the first time in fifteen years. He had failed his teammates, his sensei, had failed _his_ _students_ despite what he had tried to do—he had forgiven himself of the past but he had never forgotten, and he had allowed himself to remember when he looked at the young man by his side.

_(he wasn't punishing himself for the past but even the strongest gets tired of losing someone, right?)_

But he had finally _seen_ him, that day, seen _him_ for _who he really was_—like how he now looked at his former student and saw _Uzumaki Naruto._

_(they were now comrades, equals, **nakama** in the purest sense of the word)_

As he watched his former student, his eye saw the shadow that used to stand alongside theirs. He still saw it, sometimes, the way he used to see those of his own team—sometimes he waited for the shadow to take form and start taunting their youngest comrade.

Like how he waited now.

_(because the genius couldn't let go of the shadows of the past_—_)_

Now he had to shut his gray eye too.

_(_—_the idiot would hold on to the light of their future)_

As Kakashi's eye cried for both of them, Naruto watched the falls for all of them.

The sun was at its highest when Naruto moved, and Kakashi pinned a lazy stare to his solemn blond student. The genin suddenly broke into a familiar wide grin and blue eyes squinted happily as he looked up.

"Let's go someplace fun, sensei. It's too nice a day to spend it angsting or brooding or whatever you tensai like to do."

He chuckled and fell in step beside the cheerful blond, who had begun weaving stories with his mouth and his hands and his eyes. It was a few hours before they finally broke out of the forest, reaching the destination his former student had in mind.

Hatake Kakashi was a man of habit, but he never minded changing old ones every now and then.

* * *

Nothing in their routine changed after what happened. They continued with their usual activities—training, doing missions, teasing Naruto on Kakashi's side _(Maa, maa, it's just panels of handjo_—_Oi, give that back_—_)_ and yelling at Kakashi on Naruto's side _(You pervert, show some respect to Saku_—_ It'snotmineit'snotmineI**swear**it'snotmine_—_!)_, and chasing after the vision they had seen in the Valley of the End. A lot of people had shaken their heads in pity and disbelief, and a lot of times it was hard to see beyond the dark skies, but they still held on to the light that they believed was merely hiding behind the pall, the light that will always belong to those who dared and worked and_ believed _like Team Seven of Konoha.

No words were spoken between them on the eve of that day, but by the time the sun was rising, they were sitting on the swings beside each other. They sat in contemplative silence, their eyes affixed to the direction of the falls as their thoughts flew a distance farther than its river could take. As he did last year the first time they stayed together, Kakashi gently kicked the ground and Naruto took this as a silent challenge, kicking the ground with more force until he was swinging high higher _higher,_ until the sun seemed to glow from his hands and his eyes.

_(the sun was in his fingertips)_

"I'm sorry," Kakashi said, breaking the long silence wrought after he had slowed down. Naruto turned to him in surprise. "I neglected you. I shouldn't have done that." His voice grew heavier. "You shouldn't be calling me _sensei_ anymore, Naruto. Jiraiya-sama is your true sensei."

Beside him, Naruto slowed until he stopped entirely. Kakashi shifted and looked back into reflecting eyes that were clear and blue.

"Che. That's lame."

His silver eyebrow shot up and Naruto gave a lopsided smile. "C'mon, _sensei._ You did the best you can in your situation. Besides—" His eye widened in surprise at Naruto's next words. "—I kinda understand. It's hard for you, isn't it?"

Under his mask, his lips were set in a small sad smile. "I wasn't a good sensei."

"Damn _straight_ you're not!" he exclaimed, laughing. Kakashi felt his eyebrow twitch until Naruto settled into a grin. "But really. I get it. You... You and _him_, Kakashi-sensei and Sasuke-yarou, are really alike, na? You just didn't want him to—experience what you had, so you focused on him. That's why, sensei—" Naruto stood up and respectfully bowed to his waist, "—thank you for taking care of him."

_(and he was healed)_

"You'd always be my sensei, closet-pervert Hatake Kakashi-sensei, and you'd always be the coolest sensei in my eyes!"

His breath hitched in his throat at the young man before him. How could Naruto—do _this_ after all that he had failed to do? Thanking him should be the last thing he did!

Kakashi closed his eye and a fond smile grew under his mask. He raised a hand and ruffled the spiky hair, Naruto quickly straightening up with an indignant yell. In that enlightening moment, Kakashi realized how much Naruto had grown—how much he had changed.

Naruto had always been a puzzle to him—he was a piece of work that Kakashi couldn't comprehend. One moment he was _Obito _and the next he would be _Minato-sensei_, and with these was a little fear with how to handle him. Would he be _sensei_? Would he be _Obito_? Or would he be the loud and annoying orphan who_ challenged_ him, _argued_ with him, _respected_ and _believed _in him—made him _think_ and _feel_ and _believe_ in what he couldn't _see_?

On a basic level, Kakashi understood_—_he was his youngest _genin_, the _number one most surprising ninja _of Konohagakure, _jinchuuriki of Kyuubi no Youko _and most importantly, the _legacy _of one of the two men he had fiercely admired. On a deeper level, Kakashi didn't understand _Naruto _because he _couldn't _understand.

He never understood Obito until he was dying—

_ "Those who don't care about their companions are worse trash."_

He only understood Minato-sensei when he was dead—

_"Of course the rules and regulations are important but... that's not all there is to it."_

Kakashi knew that Naruto wasn't _them_ but sometimes his brightness and loudness, his resilience and stubbornness and unwavering faith in him and himself were _too damned much_ Kakashi didn't know how to handle him.

_(How could he?)_

Teach him.

_(How could the student teach his teachers?)_

He knew his student's dream so he sent him to the teacher of Sandaime's grandson, the teacher of the child who shared the same dream as he. Kakashi knew it wasn't in keeping with his lack of bias, knew Naruto would have a really trying time, but Sasuke needed him more and he believed that Naruto could get along without him just fine. Naruto was stubborn like Obito, resilient like Minato-sensei—and he could change anyone without even meaning to because of his faith. Even as he convinced himself, though, he knew those were merely excuses.

Hatake Kakashi just couldn't handle his ghosts.

And so he handled the living. He could easily identify with Sasuke—they both _had_ and _lost _and were _seeking_ for what _was_. He and Sasuke were similar and Kakashi understood him better—he had seen in Sasuke a chance to alter a crooked path, a chance to redeem himself of the errors of old, a chance to pass on what he himself had learned. Obito and Minato-sensei had changed him in their short time together—surely he could do the same to someone like him?

He should have realized like poles repel. Certainly there were times when he and Sasuke understood each other in silence, when they were attuned to each other's thoughts and reached a tacit agreement—

But he wasn't what Sasuke needed.

What Sasuke needed was a dash of Obito and a dash of Minato-sensei, rolled into a load of an entirely different and stubborn moron brave and stupid enough to butt heads with him to prove a point.

The dark genius needed a bright idiot to point him to the right path.

"Now let's stop with all this sappy shit! I don't want you bawling all over me, Kakashi-_oyaji_."

_(and Naruto would be forever an idiot if it would bring Sasuke back)_

"It wasn't me, Naruto," Kakashi murmured. The genin turned to him with a questioning look. "It's _you_ I should be thanking—for being there for _him_."

Naruto sheepishly scratched his cheek with a finger, his eyes holding a little sadness, a little cheer. "Sensei, all me and the bastard did was fight." He frowned for a moment and shrugged. "But eh, we're still fighting—" lips quirked all of a sudden, "Guess I should be happy not all things change, na? It's a good sign, na, na?"

Kakashi chuckled as he patted the blond head again. "You're right, maybe it is. The more things change, the more they stay the same, na, Naruto?"

"Un!"

His gray eye curved shut. "I have faith in you. Don't lose faith in yourself, Naruto, whatever happens. Or in Sasuke."

Blue eyes shone. "Kakashi-sensei..."

"We just believe, always. Right?"

Naruto nodded vigorously and jumped down from the swing, breaking the silence of the white-gold morning with a loud whoop and joyful dance. He thumped his fists in the air before cupping his hands to his mouth, his face tilted up to the brilliant sky.

"Hear that, teme? I'm not giving up on you!" Naruto yelled. It was such a pleasing music to Kakashi's ears. "We're not giving up on you so you better get your act together _'coz I'll drag your sorry bastard ass back!_ Ya _hear_ me?"

In response, forest birds in a distance broke into a chorus of angry chirps. _Chidori_, Kakashi mused.

Nature was answering Naruto's call for Sasuke.

Kakashi smiled. He had never felt so poetic before—well he _did_ last night, when the bronze goddess Junko grasped on corded muscles underneath sweaty moonlit skin, while her sworn nemesis Noriaki gently pulled the kunai shrapnel out of her honeyed right breast—all the while fiercely rocking her in his lap and sucking her left breast to divert her attention from the excruciating pain. He thought it was all too much like passionate lovemaking between two ardent lovers brought together by war.

He also thought it was kinky whenever Junko couldn't decide between crying out in pain or gasping out in pleasure.

_Ah, Jiraiya-sama did well with Icha Icha..._

"—and what's with Orochimaru anyway?" Naruto yelled on, getting into the zone. "We already have a perverted sensei! Hebi-kusotare's long tongue's got nothing on Kakashi-sensei's one-eyed leer!"

Kakashi cleared his throat. "Maa, Naruto—"

"Gotcha!" Naruto exclaimed before mock-pouting. "You spaced out on me, sensei!"

He scratched his head. His little Naruto may be all grown up but he'd never outgrow making fun of enemies. Or authorities.

"You're thinking of Icha Icha again, aren't you?" Naruto asked in a smug voice. "I'll tell Iruka-sensei you're paying more attention to your porn than me. He'll _hurt_ you."

Kakashi remembered the gentle chuunin-sensei—and his not-so-gentle countenance whenever he felt Naruto was either slighted or affected in any negative way. Kakashi almost chuckled. He couldn't imagine Iruka jumping for joy at hearing this piece of made-up story. Paying more attention to his _porn? What __porn?_

"Oi, lying is bad," Kakashi reprimanded with a poke on Naruto's forehead. The latter grinned and stuck out his tongue. He made a playful grab for it and the younger man squawked and screeched. As Naruto hopped away with rapid-fire accusations _(tongue-molester! tongue-rapist!)_, Kakashi allowed himself a secret smile.

_(he felt like an old man, a father under the mercies of Time—and yet he had never felt such peace in his entire life)_

He stood up and craned his neck, beholding the sky with his eye—the sun was climbing up to announce a brand new day. Kakashi glanced at his old student, now teammate, now friend—Naruto was smiling at him brightly enough to put the sun to shame.

_We are... really unlucky people, Sasuke._

Kakashi smiled back underneath his mask.

_Unlucky enough to find friends who are very dear to us._

Konoha's sun was announcing a brand new future.

_Friends who are willing to wait for you to understand and come back._

And he would believe because the sun will always be there.

* * *

"Why're you still single, sensei?"

Kakashi paused in mid-leaf, his finger on the top of the page. He blinked.

Naruto inched closer to repeat himself. Kakashi found himself faintly amused at the subtle slight to his hearing. "Why're you still single? Don't you want to settle or something? You're not getting younger, na."

Kakashi figured that if there was an award for _Insensitive Idiot of the Era_, it would be Naruto's without question. He spared a silent second to allow a tear of joy pass his mental eye before going back to his beloved book.

"Well, Kakashi-sensei?"

"I'm not in the market," he responded placidly.

"Uh, yeah," Naruto said, face confused. "You're in the park with me."

Kakashi almost stopped. Was he wrong? Was Naruto a true idiot after all? He inwardly breathed a relieved sigh when the imp laughed, waving his hands as he exclaimed he was kidding.

He peered from the top of his book as Naruto went to the sandbox. Kakashi always found it amusing to see the grown shinobi playing in the sand, especially when he decided to build _another _miniature Kazekage Tower. Naruto liked to grunt with his attempt of a blank expression, muttering—_"I will kill you" "I only love myself"_—while he built. It's his tribute to Gaara, he had cheerfully explained once, and he enjoyed it a lot because it brought memories of his friend. He had even shown it to the Kazekage himself.

Gaara had built a Hokage Tower using his own sand—which he destroyed with a sand version of Naruto while muttering _"Ramen-ttebayo."_

It was quite a surreal sight.

When he asked if Naruto had a tribute for him, the blond chuunin merely snickered. Kakashi figured some things are best left unknown.

"Na, Kakashi-sensei—?" Naruto asked after a silent moment. He was now sitting on his makeshift chair with a serious expression on his face.

"Hmm?"

"What does it mean, _belonging to someone_?"

Kakashi blinked once more behind the cover of his book. He pulled the novel down and looked at his student, whose brows were screwed together as if he was solving a deep problem. He closed his book—_brand new! latest release! come _fast_ and _hard_ and _deep_at the bookstore near you!—_and placed it in his pocket. Naruto, satisfied with the Copy Nin's full attention, went on.

"Anou sa, Sai asked Sakura-chan to marry her, see—" Naruto started—Kakashi's gray eye sparkled with amusement and the former laughed, "—yeah, I _know, s_tupid Sai being stupid. Sakura-chan didn't want to marry him but she was kinda pissed off because turns out Sai didn't want to marry her too." His voice lowered in an audible whisper —_"Girls are really weird"_—before continuing. "Then we kinda joked about it, then I asked her why people marry."

Kakashi found this a very curious conversation. Never had he imagined that he and Naruto would talk about a topic such as _marriage_. Or any other topic not involving the way of the shinobi.

It seemed Naruto had been growing up in this as well.

"What did she say?"

"She said, people marry because they love each other too much and they want to be always together," Naruto answered. "She said people who marry want to have a new life together—or something like that."

"Hmm."

A silent moment as Naruto's head tilted in question—Kakashi wondered how to frame his words even as he thought of what he could say. Blue eyes took a thoughtful expression when a sudden memory caused the chuunin to straighten up from his thinking slouch.

"Sensei!" Naruto exclaimed. "Sakura-chan thought of Sasuke-yarou like that, na?—I mean, she's ready to leave Konoha when Sasuke left that night, she told me before! To start a new life, even somewhere she didn't know, as long as she's with the bastard, it was okay for her!—That's it, na?"

Kakashi couldn't profess to know the depths of Sakura's feelings, so he slowly nodded with a vague _"Maybe."_ While he believed their kunoichi still harbored feelings for their Avenger, Kakashi also knew of the potency of emotions in tense situations—things that seemed to be right at the time may prove to be the opposite when inspected in a rational atmosphere. Sakura's past decision was apparently an ill-thought spur-of-the-moment one, and Kakashi suddenly felt a measure of gratefulness that Sasuke hadn't allowed her to join him—Haruno Sakura would have ended up a disillusioned, bitter girl, forever fighting against the ghosts of his past.

Kakashi smiled. In the end, Sasuke had ended up proving true what he always denied—

"So—" Naruto faltered, "so she must love Sasuke-yarou too much to want to marry him—"

—he _cared._

"Then she said that we don't have to marry to be together always," Naruto went on, perking up a little. He made a face. "Which is kinda good because I don't want to get married to you, sensei. That's just creepy. You're probably a tentacle-freak under your mask."

"Probably," Kakashi said gravely, even as he wondered at the strange statement. Marry _him_?

"Then, Kakashi-sensei—then she said _being Uzumaki Sakura doesn't sound so bad_," Naruto said with a smile. Kakashi sensed something odd in the smile, though—as if Naruto couldn't make up his mind on what he should feel about the pronouncement. "And then she said—" blue eyes shone with wonder, "—she said it's not bad belonging to _me_."

Kakashi raised an eyebrow. It seemed Sakura's feelings for Sasuke—weren't as strong as before. It's possible she was finally having deeper feelings for Naruto, though only time could tell if this would be the same as she felt for Sasuke or more. He almost shook his head. Emotions weren't his forte. No matter how much logic and rational thought are applied in dissecting someone's feelings, it's always never accurate.

And Hatake Kakashi was a creature of logic and rational thought, a man for whom accuracy was an insistent need.

"So is that what's marrying all about, belonging to someone? Is that why you're still single, sensei?"

_Where's Kurenai when you need her?_ Kakashi inwardly sighed. He almost kicked himself in the next second. Of _course—_at home, taking care of her newborn. She's undergoing a tough time being a single mother after losing her husband months ago, and he believed she wouldn't have experienced any of it had she not fallen in love with Sarutobi Asuma.

_No offense, old friend._

"I guess you ca—" Kakashi started.

"You _guess?_"

He dropped his head. "Naruto, I haven't been married. I'm not sure about these things."

Naruto gave an impatient snort. "Then get married so you can tell me. You're supposed to teach me stuff!"

"About nindo," Kakashi said calmly. "Anything else, ask Godaime-sama. Or Iruka-san."

"Iruka-sensei's busy."

The jounin nodded, slowly. "As am I."

"No you're not," Naruto said, rolling his eyes. "You're just reading porn." Blue eyes gleamed wickedly. "_Ooh ooh! _I know how that book ends!"

Kakashi's eye widened in horror. "Don't you da—"

"Noriaki would bre—"

"Maa, Naruto!" Kakashi half-shouted. Naruto stopped long enough to laugh hysterically and his gray eye curved in an exasperated crescent. "If you want to know about marriage," he said, "talk to someone who married. Like Ichiraku-san, or any of the parents of your friends. Shikamaru's father or Chouji's would be more helpful, don't you think?"

Naruto pouted. "I know that already! What I want to know is, what do _you_ think about it? Why aren't _you_ married? That's why I'm talking to Kakashi-sensei!"

"Personal questions," he answered calmly.

Naruto cocked his head thoughtfully, his arms crossed over his chest as his eyes closed in deep thought with a deep frown. Kakashi thought the conversation had mercifully ended.

He thought wrong.

"It's about falling in love, isn't it?" Naruto suddenly asked.

"Hn?"

"It's about falling in love," his former student repeated slowly, patiently. "Sakura-chan must've meant that, na? It's _'people who fall in love with each other **then** love each other too much,'_ isn't it?" His brows furrowed in a vain attempt to grasp at his thoughts—Kakashi always found a _Naruto in deep thought _adorable, in a non-perverted way. "See, see, we love lots of people, right? But we don't _fall in love_ with all of them. Na? Like, _I love Sakura-chan _is different from _I'm in love with Sakura-chan._ It's different because—because—"

Kakashi could see what would happen next. "Because...?"

Silence.

"_GAH!_" Naruto abruptly yelled, hands grabbing on his hair. "Mou, so confusing! I thought I know it already!"

"Didn't Sakura mention something else?" Kakashi reminded gently. While he found Naruto's inevitable cluelessness in matters of deeper emotions amusing, he couldn't help but feel sad about it as well. He wondered, not for the first time, what would have happened had Naruto grown up like everyone else—loved with a complete family, respected by his peers, and accepted by society—would Naruto be as strangely innocent and mature at the same time, like this?

He stopped. He needed to stop dwelling on the past, on _what-ifs_ and _maybes_. Ruing over what was—is a painful and worthless preoccupation.

"Belonging..." Naruto murmured. He looked up with earnest blue eyes. "Is that it? When you fall in love, you want to belong to someone and want that person to belong to you?"

"In a way, yes," Kakashi answered.

"But that's selfish!" Naruto burst out. "No one just belongs to one person! We belong to _everyone!_" He paused, hesitating. "But if we belong to everyone, what do we have left to ourselves? Maybe you should just seriously belong to _yourself_, sensei?" He groaned. "Why is this so confusing?"

Kakashi could feel an approaching headache. "It's a different kind of belonging, Naruto," he said. He sat silent for a moment before nodding to himself. This would hurt a lot but it may make it easier for Naruto to understand. Hopefully.

Besides, last time he checked, he wasn't listed as a counselor.

He gestured for Naruto to come closer and the blond complied. Kakashi fished out a book from a different pocket—his third copy of the first Icha Icha Paradise volume. He liked to buy three copies of the same Icha Icha volume, and he always carried the three copies of the original Icha Icha Paradise with him. The current copy in his hand was, coincidentally, the copy he had marked as _Minato-sensei's._

Not that his deceased sensei would have read it, though—Minato-sensei was as serious as he was fun-loving, and he doubted the Yondaime would even think of reading it.

"Who does this belong to?" he asked. Naruto rolled his eyes, snorting at the inane question. Kakashi smiled underneath his mask.

_If you only knew._

"Yours. _Duh._"

"Very good." With a silent apology and feeling not a little pain, he opened the book in the middle and, holding both sides with his hands—

"_HA?_"

—tore it cleanly in half.

"You—You ruined your book!" Naruto finally yelled. His eyes were large when Kakashi handed him a half of the torn book. "What're you doing? Why would you do _that? _I don't like porn!"

"I'm giving it to you," Kakashi replied patiently, insisting against the younger shinobi's refusals. When Naruto finally accepted with not a little amount of confusion, he went on. "And now it belongs to you."

"A... Anou... T-Thank you?" His voice lowered into a mumble. "I can't believe you gave me porn—"

Kakashi's eye curved. "You're welcome."

Naruto nodded hesitantly. He scratched his head after a short silence. "Um, what do I do next?"

"You can read it," Kakashi suggested helpfully. Naruto cast him a doubtful look—_"I really don't like porn"_—but obeyed, anyway. That was, before stopping almost a second later.

"But it's not complete!" Naruto exclaimed. He pouted, grumbling, "Maa, I fell for your stupid joke."

Kakashi feigned a look of surprise. "You can't read it?"

"How do I do that? You gave me the half that starts in the middle of the story! I can't read it without starting on the o—" Slowly, understanding dawned on the tan face and blue eyes lit in wonder. "Sensei," Naruto said in a hush. "Is that it?"

"What is?" Kakashi casually asked.

Naruto gestured at the torn half in his hand, his eyes shining earnestly like glass against fire. "_This_. _Belonging_. We belong to ourselves, na? But we give some of ourselves away. Even when we do that, though, we still need the part we gave away because they complete the story—so we ask for it back or ask the other person to share it with us. So we belong to others and to ourselves at the same time!"

Kakashi smiled. Naruto went on, spurred on by his epiphany and Kakashi's approving eye. "But there are many people we give our parts to. I mean, look—" Naruto raised his torn half and tore the first page. "I can give this page to Sakura-chan, and even if the page is gone, I'd still know a bit of the story because it's not much and it's not a very big part, na? So even if I lose the page, even if Sakura-chan doesn't share it or give it back, it's not a big deal because it's just a small part. But—But if I tear my book in half, like this," another tearing sound, "If I give a big part and it doesn't come back, then I won't understand the story anymore. I'd probably not even finish it because a large part is gone and I'd think it's stupid to go on.

"So there are people we give small not-very-important parts to, and there are people we give the big and important parts to. And we all need those parts, na, sensei?—because they all belong to us, even if they belong to _them_...

"And it's okay not to get the small parts back so it's okay if they don't return, but the big parts are parts we need back because it's what lets the story make sense. So if it's a big part we gave away— we need it back because it's an important part of us and _that_ part, and _us_, belong _together_."

Naruto paused, hesitating. "Do I make sense, Kakashi-sensei? It all made sense in my head, but I think it kinda came out stupid again."

"Don't underestimate yourself, Naruto," Kakashi reprimanded.

Naruto's smile grew bright against the morning sun. "I think that's what it is. Like Shikamaru's dad gave a big part of himself to Shikamaru's mom, but because he needs that part, which belongs to Shikamaru's mom now_, _the best thing is for his mom to belong to his dad so his dad and that important part are together again. And he only gave that part in the first place because he fell in love with her and he wanted her to have the most important part of him."

He brightened. "_That's it!_ Falling in love is like starting out whole, and giving the most important part away to the most important person and becoming broken because of losing it. Getting married—_being really together_—is like becoming whole again when that part comes back after you've given it away. Then the whole now doesn't just belong to you—it also belongs to the other that made you complete again! That's it, na? Na?"

Kakashi patted the blond head. He swore Naruto was a true enigma and yet, it brought him strange comfort. "I think you have the idea correctly."

"So is that why you're still single? 'Coz you gave a big part away to someone and that person didn't give it back to you? Naruto asked guilelessly. "Are you broken, sensei?"

Kakashi smiled. There were still a lot to discuss about. So much more. "Naruto. Sometimes, we give a big part of our books to one person and another person gives the missing part back. A part that did not belong to us before can also be significant enough to make us whole again."

"Eh? What d'you mean by that?"

"It means," Kakashi stood up, Naruto backing away to allow him ease of movement, "I can give you my heart right now and expect someone else to give it back to me."

Golden eyebrows creased. "Why's that? Shouldn't it be me who give you back your heart 'coz you gave it to me?"

A sudden gust of wind blew sand all over the park, picking up scattered leaves that danced gracefully around the two. It was a fine morning and the sun was moving higher in the sky, giving way to the hot noon.

The heat reminded Kakashi that it was time to leave.

"Why? Will you accept it?" he asked softly as his eye curved shut. With a last wink, Hatake Kakashi formed a swift succession of seals and disappeared among the leaves.

He didn't hear the question after he left.

"Accept it?"

* * *

"She's pretty hot, isn't she?" he asked out of the blue.

Kakashi raised his eye to follow the direction of the blue gaze. Across the dango stall, Team Eight was walking together led by their sensei, Sarutobi Kurenai. She felt their gazes and she looked up, her red eyes softening at the sight of a dear friend, who in turn gave a small wave and returned to his book.

Across him, Naruto snickered. "That's not cool, sensei. How're you gonna interest her or something?"

Kakashi flipped a page. "Hmm?"

A hand suddenly appeared, pulling his book down. Kakashi raised an eyebrow and looked up at the grinning ninja. "What's your type anyway, Kakashi-sensei?"

Kakashi blinked, caught by what he saw and not by what he heard. Naruto was looking at him in expectant silence, an incarnation of patience with his smiling lips and eyes, an incarnation of anticipation with his brilliant gaze and smile.

_Like morning, _he concluded. Naruto was_ morning. _His blond chuunin looked best in its white-gold light, with his unruly yellow hair and mischievous blue eyes and the promise of a good day brimming in his smile. From where he sat, morning wasn't complete without Uzumaki Naruto.

_Like Minato-sensei_, he thought. Kakashi remembered mornings of the past—despite the darkness and despair of a deadly, unending war, mornings were bright and full of hope with Minato-sensei.

Just as mornings are supposed to be.

"Sensei?"

Kakashi lifted himself from his thoughts. "Mornings."

"Mornings?" Naruto echoed.

_Yes. Something I don't deserve._

"Anou, morning people?" Naruto asked doubtfully. "Like Iruka-sensei?" He frowned and suddenly slammed his hands over the table, leaning forward. "If you have some shit going on about Iruka-sensei, _Ka-ka-shi-sen-sei_, you'd have to go through me first!"

_Iruka._ Another morning. "Maa, stop jumping to conclusions," he said, waving a hand. "It will tire you."

Not that Kakashi hadn't pondered over Umino Iruka. He had found the Academy teacher intriguing after the latter stood up to him during chuunin exam nominations—there was no gentleness in the kind brown eyes when Iruka faced the group of jounin-sensei with the fierceness of an ANBU. As was his SOP, Kakashi had found the time to study the man's records and converse with reliable character references—and then, he had sought out the man himself, bumping into him and engaging in light conversation on occasions, even.

And Umino Iruka _truly_ was morning. He glowed with praises for his students and shone with pride for their achievements. He was warm with his approval and gentle with his reproof. He was full of bright hope for the shinobi and the future.

And when he yelled at his unruly students—Kakashi almost chuckled. Iruka can be as fierce as the late morning sun, too.

_"Someday, Kakashi-san, shinobi won't be tools of war but of peace."_

Kakashi needed the morning.

_"My only wish is that I'm still alive to see it."_

As surely as he loved the moon after living a lifetime in the night.

But Kakashi was not a selfish man—a lot of people rely on mornings, the way the future of shinobi relied on Iruka. Umino Iruka deserved someone he wouldn't worry over on top of every student who became shinobi under his hand. He deserved peace of mind that an active ninja could never offer or guarantee. The morning deserved another morning to light him up the way he lit up everybody else.

"Kakashi-san, Naruto," a cheery voice greeted.

Like _Ayame_.

The jounin looked up, Naruto performing an exuberant demonstration he assumed was a greeting. "Ayame-san," Kakashi greeted back, raising a lazy hand. He eyed her basket with slight interest. "New ingredients?"

The pretty daughter of the ramen chef smiled, lifting the basket slightly to show the contents. "Un. Tou-san wants to try a new ramen flavor."

"_Sugoi!_" Naruto exclaimed. Puppy dog eyes immediately joined the demonstration. "Can I have a free taste? Please please _please_, Ayame-_neechan_?"

Ayame gave a thumbs-up, giggling. "Of course! Tou-san actually wants you to have the first taste. _'No one else knows more about my ramen than that ramen-gaki, Naruto!'_ was what he said."

_Ayame_, another morning.

"Yatta!"

When the civilians of Konoha had their backs against him, Ichiraku and his daughter had welcomed Uzumaki Naruto into their arms. When there wasn't food or comfort or hope to be had, they had been his provider, comforter, his brightest of mornings.

_Iruka and Ayame... are Naruto's mornings._

And really, he shouldn't be thinking of such things as _mornings_ and _feelings_ anymore—love was a burden among active shinobi, a battle that must always be fought for until their last breath. _Shinobi Rule 25_ existed for a reason, and its greatest reason was love.

_"A shinobi never shows his tears."_

Because love weakens as much as it strengthens, blinds as much as it reveals, embitters as much as it sweetens. And while Kakashi would have shouldered the burden fifteen years ago, ten years ago—would have fought for it until his last breath five years ago, two and a half years ago—he was now in a stage where he preferred solid strength over weakness, complete sight over blindness, pure sweetness over bitterness, lasting friendship over true love. In his long chaotic life as a shinobi of Konoha, the stability of companionship appealed so much more to him now than the flickering of passion and desire.

Kakashi may love the morning but he had come to need the comfort of night.

"You can have a free taste too, Kakashi-san," Ayame said. Naruto was already yelling an agreement before Kakashi could decline graciously, and the Ichiraku ramen stand waitress accepted happily. "Just come by in two hours, ne? Tou-san will have the new ramen done by then."

"Hai!"

Kakashi could see that Naruto was already salivating over the promise of a new and free ramen. He discreetly passed him a tissue. "What will you tell Sakura?"

Naruto stopped, wide-eyed, before slapping his forehead. "Gah, I _forgot!_ We're supposed to go to the hospital!" He frowned thoughtfully as he flexed his left arm—its cast had come out a week ago. "Anou, it's all healed up already, I'll just tell her." He broke into a cheerful smile. "Besides, it's Ichiraku ramen and no one can stop Uzumaki Naruto from getting it! Even bossy people like Sakura-chan!"

Ayame laughed as Kakashi shook his head. _Let's see him say that in front of Sakura_—

"Na. ru. _to._"

—who didn't look too happy right now.

Naruto laughed. "Wow, I swear I can hear Sakura-chan right no—_Sakura-chan!_"

A dark head popped behind Sakura's shaking form.

"Dickless."

A shaking finger from a red-faced blond.

"Sai-hentai!"

Kakashi giggled behind the covers of his book, adopting a lecherous flush on his cheeks as Sakura _gave it_ to Naruto. Better be thought a pervert than a sadistic bastard who enjoyed watching his students—he giggled again—_getting it_. He raised his eyes and saw a pink blush on Ayame from his little display.

Seeing him looking at her, she blushed harder and ducked her head, murmuring her farewell. Kakashi nodded back with a little wave. Sakura paused long enough to utter a demure _"We'll come by later, Ayame-san,"_ and Naruto to moan a pained _"Ja, Nee-chan."_ Sai stood by and watched everything with a creepy smile, a smile Kakashi had come to associate with contentment.

As Naruto's screams echoed in the dango stall, Kakashi thought it was a very fine morning.

* * *

Few things in life ever surprised Hatake Kakashi, former ANBU and current jounin. He was the son of _Konoha no Shiroi Kiba_, student of _Konoha no Kiiroi Senkou_, _Sharingan no Kakashi_ and _tensai_ of a thousand jutsu. He could swiftly assess a situation and immediately consider all possible responses before choosing the most feasible in a heartbeat. He could assess all details and immediately draw a conclusion of what had transpired minutes, hours, days, _weeks_ ago in a blink—

"Kakashi-sensei? 'S that you? Oi! Sensei!"

—except _this._

A disheveled Naruto was sitting on yellow-speckled grass with his hands tied on his back by, of all things, a pair of chakra suppressors. He was hunched on his knees in an attempt to quail his roaring stomach, squirming all the while to find a way to stand up. Kakashi was on immediate alert—his soldier was tied and hungry, thankfully not gagged, but he froze in shock when Naruto swerved his head to where he stood.

Naruto was blindfolded.

"Who did this?" Kakashi asked, his voice soft and strained. It was hard to ask further past the sudden lump blocking his throat, so he settled for rushing forward to remove the blind after ensuring there were no suspicious chakra signatures nearby. The blind, he discovered quickly—alarmingly—was Naruto's own hitai'ate, and he felt a tide of anger rising in his chest, his fingers working seamlessly to free his chuunin from the handcuffs and pull down the metal.

_Whoever did this_—

Naruto squinted at the sudden onslaught of light from the morning sun. After his sight adjusted, he rubbed on his wrists, glad to have them free. Another growl of his stomach had him curling into himself once again, whimpers escaping from his chapped lips.

"Naruto," Kakashi said, struggling to even his voice. "Who did this?"

Blue eyes blinked up. Kakashi had never felt so _relieved_ to see them again.

"Maa, it's just Sai," Naruto replied, waving a hand. The anger in his eye must have shown as the blond hastily explained, "We made a deal—I pose for him blind and he gives me ramen." His stomach rumbled again. "And that asshole shoulda been here already."

Kakashi couldn't make sense of Naruto's answer. "Pose... _blind?_"

"Aa," Naruto answered. "Didn't want to so he tied me up and pulled my hitai'tae down my eyes."

Calm. Peace. Serenity. "He... _forced_ you?"

Naruto scowled. "Yeah, jerk did. His first offer was ten ramen and I thought it's too cheap." He broke into a cheeky grin and flashed a victory sign. "Then he offered twenty! Yatta!"

Kakashi stared at the young shinobi beaming with pride. He had never been as stumped at how he should react as he did now—should he accidentally hang Naruto by his sandals with a well-aimed kunai, or accidentally spill his coming ramen with a well-aimed kunai?

"Kakashi-sensei? You okay?"

Would they suspect him if he _accidentally_ left Naruto tied and blindfolded again?

Kakashi sighed. Worrying like this—he was really getting old. "Why this request?" he asked, gesturing at the hitai'ate on Naruto's hand.

Naruto frowned in thought. "Anou, he said he wanted to try something. If he can make me alive or something." He scratched his head. "Didn't really get it, sensei."

Kakashi, however, did—and he was sure that Sai got his answer as well. Maybe even felt a measure of the unaccountably strong feelings he himself felt against covering what had always brought faith and hope and life to everyone who saw it—

Naruto's eyes.

"I guess I kinda felt what you always feel, sensei," Naruto commented. "But more, see, 'coz both my eyes were covered and only one of yours is." He cocked his head, scrutinizing the jounin thoughtfully. "Was it hard, sensei? Learning to fight with just an eye?"

"Aa," Kakashi replied. It had been difficult, and not just because of the changes in his sight and perception. He had also been struggling to come into terms with Obito's sacrifice and gifts—his Sharingan, and a new perspective that helped him understand why his father chose his team over his mission, why he made the decision that led him to take his own life.

Obito's eye had given him a new lease on sight, and his death had given him a new lease on life.

Naruto threw him a long, considering look. It was an expression Kakashi was fast getting accustomed to seeing on his former student's face. He braced himself—the more serious Naruto was, the more brilliantly illogical or undesirable or impossible his next words become.

And this brilliance, Kakashi admired.

Naruto nodded, making up his mind. "Na, sensei. Can you teach me to fight blind?"

—_What?_

He blinked.

_Fight blind?_

His blue eyes covered, the light within concealed?

Kakashi felt anxious over the request, a peculiar sense of fear prickling in his veins. It unsettled him even as strange cold anger simmered within him. Remembering how Naruto looked like with the metal over his eyes wasn't helping him at all. Because Naruto—his Naruto—who _breathed_ and _existed_ and _lived_ the promise of life, had looked—

Kakashi closed his eye.

Lifeless.

_Like gray_, he thought. The dreary gray of the sky announcing the advent of rain. The hesitant touch of white against a canvas of black. The wavering of the line between a truth and a lie. Like death stealing life until what remained was a shadow, an empty shell of what had been and what could have been.

A vessel of void.

Nothingness.

_... Tch._

He blamed Jiraiya for these sudden bouts of poetic musings. Naruto may not believe it but the Gama Sennin was a damned fine author, though it contributed to his recently fanciful thought processes. Just thinking of Icha Icha Violence was driving his mind into intellectual orgasm—

"Kakashi-sensei," Naruto started flatly. "Your nose is bleeding and it's kinda gross." When the jounin lifted a hand to surreptitiously wipe the evidence, Naruto continued with an amused smile, "Well? Would you train me, sensei? I think it's cool and it'd help me a lot. 'Sides, Sasuke-yarou has his creepy sore eyes and I've to learn to fight without having to look, na?"

The chuunin's stomach growled again—surprisingly, Naruto ignored it in favor of hearing Kakashi's answer. And he knew the answer already despite his personal opinion—he had declined Naruto's wishes in the past, and Kakashi thought his sensei's son deserved so much more.

It's time Naruto got what he deserved.

"If you want me to."

As Naruto cheered and began covering his eyes, Kakashi hoped that there would be no reason for him to conceal his eyes.

"Let's start, Kakashi-sensei!"

It was minutes later when Hatake Kakashi discovered a bag of ramen by the yellow-speckled grasses.

* * *

Months later and his renegade had returned. Kakashi knew something was terribly wrong, however. He observed the unconscious blond who had yet to wake up—it had been hours since he had sent Sai to follow Naruto, hours since Naruto had stepped within the walls of Konoha with Sasuke on his back, hours since Naruto had passed out and Sai had carried them both to the hospital. It had been hours since they had talked and Naruto—no matter how many times Kakashi had made him wait—never got back on him for it.

_"How was he like, sensei? That time?"_

And Kakashi believed Naruto wasn't so cruel as to start doing it now.

_"He was a father who loved his village very much."_

"Kakashi-sensei," Sakura whispered, her voice soft and tired and broken as she sat on a chair by Naruto's side._ Like a girl's_, Kakashi realized with a clarity that almost blew him away. She may be a ninja but underneath she's just a girl, as fragile as the civilians they swore to protect. And right now, she's a girl who needed someone to hold on to.

Kakashi stepped closer to his teammate. To his only girl.

—a girl who needed someone to hold her with a promise that everything would be alright.

_Naruto, _his mind whispered. _Sakura needs you to wake up._

The door of the room opened and a medic-nin—_Shurei_, Kakashi's mind automatically supplied—stepped in.

"Kakashi-san, a word if I may?" she asked. Kakashi nodded. Before leaving, he squeezed Sakura's shoulder in reassurance and the kunoichi gave a watery smile back, before turning to follow the medic outside.

She closed the door behind him and gently launched into the details of Naruto's injuries. His mind mechanically absorbed her words though his attention was fixed on the door's small window, his eye watching Sakura's tense form and the rising and falling of Naruto's chest.

She moved on to Sasuke's condition and he answered when he was expected to. The last Uchiha had just been moved to his own room—the operation was a success, though the team of medics discovered something that perplexed and caused not a little alarm among them.

Gray eye immediately sharpened.

"A seal?"

Shurei nodded. "Un. It doesn't seem to have any effect on his injuries, however, so we decided to leave it be until his body is healed enough for us to an—"

His acute hearing picked up a sharp intake of breath and his eye went back to the window.

Naruto was awake.

* * *

_Naruto_—_!_

The door slammed open. Despite his uncharacteristically loud entrance, the blond didn't flinch.

"Kakashi… sensei…"

For the second time in his life, Kakashi was too late.

His Sharingan burned hot under his mask when Naruto turned to him, a familiar metal over eyes that never failed to give hope to the hopeless. Kakashi recoiled, a deep sorrow and anger and not a little confusion forcing him to move back. A touch of desperation forced him to take a step forward.

"What did you do, Naruto?" he asked softly. His gray eye desperately sought answers as it inspected his two former students—one who stood frozen as if caught in time, and the other who slept peacefully as if caught in a dream. His eye widened as he studied the latter, anxiety extending its cold hand to clutch at his heart.

"Sasuke woke up," he murmured.

Naruto nodded, a wistful smile on his lips. It ached Kakashi to see it without the laughter in his eyes.

"He looks at peace, doesn't he, sensei?" Naruto asked in a gentle voice, so gentle it brought a tear rolling down his covered eye. The gentleness sounded like goodbye—like the morning from a not-so-distant past all over again.

_Minato… sensei…_

He was blinded by the light from the morning sun.

"What did you do?" he repeated.

A tan hand reached forward. In the glow from the blinding light streaming past the curtains, Kakashi saw it land perfectly on the sleeping shinobi's lips.

_(it was him, the peaceful sleeper, who received the most important part)_

"I've never seen him smile like this before."

Sudden clarity hit him so hard that Kakashi couldn't move. _Don't let it be him,_ he pleaded. _Please don't let it be him_. _It's too much already_—

"It's you?"

He wanted to draw the curtains close.

_Too much, too much_—

_(he shouldn't have given so much)_

Forever if need be.

"Can you... make sure it stays like this, Kakashi-sensei?"

Kakashi blinked as his normal eye began to blur. He was getting old and his eyesight must be failing now—possibly because the light was striking him where it hurt the most.

"Naruto—"

"Please," Naruto whispered, his voice thick with suppressed tears. "Do it for me, sensei. Do it for _him_. He'd needed it for so long—Sasuke deserves peace more than anyone else I know."

"I ca—"

Tears finally slid past metal-covered eyes. "Please, Kakashi-sensei. I need you to make sure he always smiles like this. Don't—don't make me command you."

_You deserve peace too, Naruto,_ Kakashi wanted to say. _You deserve to smile like that too. _

_We need you to smile and show the hope in your eyes._

But Hatake Kakashi was a creature of logic and rational thoughts—he knew next to nothing about feelings and emotions. And so he kept all of his thoughts to himself, knowing the time to argue and plead had come and gone—Naruto had made a decision and no prose or poetry or promise would force him to stay.

Because he had known it, the moment he had seen those covered eyes—

_"He was smiling, I remember... when he said he wants us to see another morning."_

Uzumaki Naruto would leave.

_"And we do, in exchange of his life."_

He had never hated mornings as much as he did now.

"I will," Kakashi said. "For you, I will."

_Until you return, I'll do everything I can._

The morning had never been so cruel as when its light shone on Naruto's smile.

"Thank you."

* * *

From the window of the Hokage Tower, Kakashi watched as one of his former students left the village once again.

A bittersweet smile formed in his lips as he observed the short exchange between Naruto and Sai. A moment too soon and he was on his way again, walking the path that would lead him away from Konoha, from Team Seven, from Sasuke, from him.

When Sakura finally caught up with Naruto, Hatake Kakashi turned away.

It would hurt too much to see his children say goodbye.

* * *

Ten years later, Hatake Kakashi made his way to the Heroes' Memorial as the sun climbed its highest over Konohagakure no Sato.

The whispered rumors echoing in his ears, his heart raced with anticipation as he sought the son who had left, his heart nearly burning with warmth when he sighted the familiar mop of gold that could only be his. Kakashi could see a figure in dark blue hiding like a newbie on the tree, and he allowed himself a small chuckle before returning his attention to the one he had come all this way for.

He had come for his morning that had gone and come back.

And Naruto was better than morning, Kakashi realized. He was _noon_, a time when no shadows are cast and the light is at its brightest. When everything is hot and glaring and offensive like truth, when everything is visible enough to see through like lies. When everyone comes together to share a cold drink, a refreshing meal, and happy companionship under the shade of a tree. When people curse the heat even as they bless the light, knowing in their hearts that it meant there are better things to look forward to because the sun is above and all is right with the world.

For the first time in ten years, Kakashi truly believed that all was right in the world. _And it would be better_, he thought—once Naruto shared the hope that he had kept hidden in his eyes.

"Did you enjoy the show, asshole?"

As in perfect moments, there must be music. And none was as soothing as the music of Uzumaki Naruto's words.

"Maa, maa, why do you have to call me such a hurtful name?" Kakashi asked with feigned hurt. He could see the smile rising on his former student's lips—it was blinding, it was beautiful, it was the golden sun in its brightest.

It was noon.

"Is this how you talk to someone you haven't seen in years?"

Kakashi reached out and ruffled the dearly-missed blond head, golden like the tears of a noonday sun.

_It's your turn._

The sun was in his fingertips.

_Give yourself and Sasuke the peace you both deserve._

And he was healed.


	18. Chapter 15

**The Sky**

_by Hic Iacet Mori_

* * *

**Chapter 15**

It was raining, that day.

He remembered passing through fluttering yellow tapes, remembered looking around the district and seeing people, not seeing people—desperate illusions of his fragile mind that were real for the few moments he believed with sudden relief and joy. The night past was nothing but a bad dream, nothing but a cruel nightmare—he had woken up and everything was as it was, everything was okay, _really really honest-to-goodness okay, _and he would love them more and more and all over again. Just as his dark eyes lit up with happiness—

_"Sasuke-chan!"_

—just as his lips curved into his shy smile—

_"Off to school?"_

—they vanished.

_"Okaeri, Sasuke!"_

Gone as the fire in a cruel gust of wind.

It rained, that day. Gentle rain, light like Kaa-san's gentle kisses. Soft rain, light like Tou-san's soft murmurs. Warm rain, like the light of affection in Nii-san's warm eyes.

_"... Tadaima..."_

It rained that day, after the day he would give his whole life to change.

He disliked that rain. So gentle, so soft, so warm—it mocked him, hurt him. Why couldn't it fall _harder_, fall in pinpricks of ice until he no longer felt searing coldness, but _numbness_? Why couldn't it fall _stronger_, fall in angry torrents of charcoal and gray, until he no longer needed to pretend that the hot liquid from his eyes were not from his heart breaking into two, and four, and eight, and on and on until the pieces were no longer shards but _dusts_? Why couldn't it fall _thicker, _fall like black sand from a broken hourglass, until the world he was left in was all shades of darkness, until there were no tints of light and shadows of color, until everything was _darker _and he couldn't see anyone and anything anywhere anymore? Be _seen_ anymore?

It rained that day, and that day he began to hate. Hate as much as the tears unceasingly streaming from the skies.

_"Kaa-san!"_

Hate as much as the loving heart of a broken child could try.

_"Tou-san!"_

Hate, because he hated the pain he felt from the love he remembered, from that rain falling gently, softly, warmly upon his closed eyes. Hate, because he hated that rain for everything it stood for—for all that he had lost and will never have again.

_"Nii-san!"_

Hate, because he hated _who he could have been and who he would become._

_"I'm sorry, Sasuke."_

Uchiha Sasuke hated the rain.

_"Some other time, okay?"_

Hated how they sounded like the muffled screams in his mind.

_I'm not screaming._

Hated how they burned like the unshed tears in his eyes.

_I'm not crying._

Hated how, despite the millions of raindrops around him, touching him, kissing him, _loving_ him—

_I'm not alone._

Hated how he was alone.

_I'm not alone…_

It rained that day, that day he hated, after the night that changed his life forever.

_"Sasu_—_"_

And tonight—

"Usura—"

It was raining.

_"_—_ke-san_—_?"_

It was raining—and it hurt.

The gentle, soft, warm rain fell in a soothing rhythm, pattering on the roof like excited boys muffling their footsteps in vain. Humming like a father who was proud of his eldest son, whispering like a mother who adored her youngest one. Murmuring like a brother who would give his time, his life, his _all_, to his younger brother—

"—tonkachi..."

—and crying like a boy—_man_—whose silent tears fell from where his heart should be.

_Don't leave me anymore._

Uchiha Sasuke hated the rain.

As he squeezed his eyes harder and his arms wound tighter, he realized that he had never hated something so completely, so purely, so _much _in his life.

_No more._

He jerked wildly at a feathery touch on his shoulder. He refused to open his eyes, refused to accept it, refused to staunch the flow of incoherent whispers by his suddenly loose tongue, of _no _and _please _and _don't leave_ and _stay—stay, stay, please please stay_—of words his mind couldn't grasp, of words only his heart did, of words spilling out from the depths of his soul and fallingfalling_falling_ like the rain from the sky. He refused to open his eyes and _see_, his whole being wavering between shock and denial, hovering between dream and reality, his mind_ remembering_ and_ forgetting_ and _grasping_ and _losing _overand over_ and a lifetime again._

He violently flinched when the touch on his shoulder became stronger, more insistent—_let me go, don't want to wake up, need to stay here, I can't—_until he gasped out a broken sound when the touch slowly trailed up his smooth dry cheek.

He took a shuddering breath, shivering at the soft warmth gently skimming his face. He could feel the coolness of the cloth and the heat from the touch, urging him to open his eyes—_"Sasuke-san_—_? Sasuke-san!"_—the frantic beating of his heart and the lulling song of the rain suddenly drowned by the murmurs of his name. He breathed out hoarsely—_"No, no, no"_—flinched when the voice, even and soft, strangely got louder—_"Sasuke-san!"_—and the hand on his cheek started slapping him lightly.

He wound his arms tighter in panicked refusal—_release him, he can't breathe_—his dazed mind bewildered at the strange sounds, voices—_you'll kill him, he's bleeding_—until the past lifetime-in-a-minute rushed forward and he reeled backward in shock.

Wide unseeing eyes shot open.

_You drove a fucking Chidori into his chest._

He choked at the bile rising from his stomach.

_And not for the first time, you sick fuck._

"Stop, Sasuke-san."

_Stop, indeed. But could you? Why would you when you want to do it again? It was not meaningless, was it?_—

"Bastard!"

—_because he had become your closest friend, na, Sasuke-**yarou**?_

"Idiot," he responded automatically, the reply jolting him out of his trance. His vision cleared the same instance his mind did.

_Shit. We need Sakura. I shouldn't be breaking dow_—_shitshitshitshitshit!_

"Are you—okay?"

His head snapped up. The symbol of Konoha met his sight.

"...I'm really getting worried here."

His dark eyes quickly took stock of his house guest.

_Wha_—

Who was sitting on his left with a worried frown on his face.

_What the_—

His eyes widened. He slowly looked down into his arms.

_Kawarimi?_

A pillow accused him as it bled cotton in silence.

"What... was that? Back there?"

And Sasuke—

"You... okay?"

Sasuke had never felt so _relieved _in his life.

"_Naruto_," he breathed out, his body moving on its own. He couldn't stop shaking, shaking from terror, from_ relief_, from something inexplicably burning and strong and powerful and aching, his body shaking as his arms reached out to wrap around the blond in a deep and desperate need for reassurance. "Naruto, Naruto, Naruto," he repeated unconsciously—like a mantra, a prayer—forced out of the tightness of his constricted throat. _I didn't hurt him, I didn't hurt him, he's okay, I didn't hurt him_—

Naruto flinched.

_You will._

Sasuke had barely wrapped his arms around the blond when a powerful shove pushed him back, Naruto using the momentum to push himself away. His dark eyes widened in surprise and hurt—_why, why?_—as the latter leaned back on the wall across his bed, panting, the whiskered face pale as red lips parted to whisper words he couldn't hear.

_Of course,_ he thought regretfully, bitterly, painfully. After what happened, why would Naruto want to be around him? After what he did, why would Naruto want him to—_wrap... my arms... around_—

_Fuck._

"—called me... my name..."

His heartbeat further sped up, his dark eyes widening as unwanted heat colored his cheeks. Did he really do that? _Embrace _another _man_? He swallowed a groan. What's happening to him _now_? Was this some kind of a—of a—a _hysteria-induced homosexuality?_ Or was his body still reacting to Naruto's henge?

_Shit_, Naruto might—might take it the wrong way and—and—

—_are you sure it's wrong?_

Dammit. _Dammit! _Why couldn't his heart fucking _slow down?_ It hurt too damned much, slamming repeatedly against his ribcage and twisting in his chest like clothes being wrung out, so tightly until even blood might come out. His head won't stop spinning, his stomach won't stop churning, and he was getting nauseated from all the intense thoughts and fucking feelings and his body that wouldn't—_just—rest._

And how wrong was it that he was b-b-blus—being like—like _this—and over another guy!—_after—after almost killing his—his—his...

His eyes lifted up to the other in wonder, with a certainty so strong it literally left his body shaking. They weren't just _teammates_. They were—

"We're teammates."

—_friends._

It was as if all the remaining color in Naruto's face vanished in a blink. As if Naruto was a statue, a mere figment of imagination hewed from marble and dreams, of shadows and smoke forced out by the relentless hands of an obstinate creator.

"Aa."

He couldn't understand why—

"You're my friend."

Why his eyes were suddenly hot.

"Aa."

Why his sight was blurring again.

"You're important to me."

Why his chest hurt once more.

"No."

Why he _hurt_—

"Tell me. Tell me the truth."

—so so much.

Silence stretched in the darkened room, heedless of the medley of the mid-autumn rain. The shifting of cloth was suddenly loud within as Naruto slowly stood up, swaying from the spot across his bed before steadying, a hand over his right chest as his other hand dropped. Sasuke's eyes flashed with panic as the cloaked man made his way to the door.

_Don't._

To let himself out.

"Don't go."

It was a mere breath of words, words he didn't realize he had let past his lips. His gaze was transfixed to this familiar stranger, this man who was his teammate, his friend, this person his heart claimed was important to him.

_Precious_ to him.

A part of his mind that remained clear agreed with his reawakened instincts. If Naruto didn't matter to him, why would Sasuke attempt to kill him? Because he _had_ tried to kill Uzumaki Naruto in the past, as was shown painfully, cruelly, by that—he was certain, achingly so—_memory._ And in his past, the past he was perfectly aware of, there was only one man important enough for him to kill—none other than his Nii-san, Uchiha Itachi.

So Naruto—must have been important enough to kill as well.

Sasuke flinched at his conclusion. His left hand curled unconsciously.

And the memory of the Chidori past Naruto's chest—

_"It was not meaningless..."_

Would he have gone to such lengths for someone insignificant?

_"To me, you have_—_"_

Would he have gone to such lengths for someone worthless?

_"_—_become my closest friend."_

Would he have gone to such lengths for someone—

His left hand opened, reaching out.

—someone who wasn't _Naruto?_

"Please," he rasped out. It was hard to speak, hard to let out his voice past the painful knot in his throat. Because he was pleading? But why would pleading cause this burn in his throat? Because he never did it? Because he was willing to do it for _him_, even if he wasn't conscious of it?

But wouldn't the word come out smoother, surer, then? Not scorching, but soothing?

Because of pride?

_Please_—

No, it wasn't pride. It was—it was something else. Something he didn't understand yet. Something he would—if given the chance. A chance he needed, somehow.

_Please?_

Naruto's steps faltered, the hand hovering on his doorknob hesitating. Sasuke felt a strange leap in his chest even as his throat further tightened. He wondered faintly at his body's reaction—Naruto hadn't said anything and yet, yet his body responded. How was it that his body was reacting this way?

Were they so close that even Naruto's pause could make his heart race?

_Closest... friend..._

"You should rest, Sasuke-san," Naruto's light voice echoed cheerfully in his room. "I'm sure you won't—won't have a nightmare again."

Naruto—was _dismissing_ him.

"I'm glad I woke you up in time."

Pretending that what happened held no worth whatsoever.

"I did it before, didn't I?"

—Fuck, _fuck!_ Of all things to say, why did he have to say _that_?

The robed figure stiffened.

But he had to, he knew. Sasuke still didn't understand what happened, _how _it happened—he was sure he had felt the sickening heat of muscles and flesh and bones, felt them clenching and loosening around him so vividly he could feel bile climbing up his throat again—but whatever it was, he was grateful. It led him to see a memory.

_"Chidori!"_

A poignantly significant memory.

"I tried to kill you," Sasuke said. He refused to close his eyes in shame. If he closed it, Naruto might—might disappear.

"Because—you're important to me."

Naruto slowly released a deep breath. He waited in untamed anticipation as the other turned to face him.

He wanted to see Naruto's eyes.

"Yes, you tried to kill me," Naruto said, his tone strangely gentle. He raised a hand, as if halting an incoming reaction. "But that was a long time ago. A _really_, really long time ago." The rosy lips gave a quirky smile. "If you're worried, Sasuke-san, it didn't work."

It was a pathetic attempt at humor and it irked. He dug his nails on his palms to quell the desire to hit the other's head. This man before him, this idiot, this—_usuratonkachi_ hiding before him was trying to make light of things that happened.

Sasuke opened his mouth to retort, and ended up doing something he shouldn't have given the moment—

He yawned.

His eyes rounded, horrified, as his tongue rolled without his permission with a long, loud yawn. He abruptly clicked his mouth shut and sat stunned at what just he did. When Naruto raised a hand to smother an inappropriate giggle, Sasuke swallowed a groan of embarrassment. He really couldn't help it, he admitted grudgingly. He had a long day and night of revelations and, now that he noticed it, his head was pounding again.

Not as painfully as his heart did, though.

"Back to sleep now," Naruto announced, quite happily.

Sasuke glanced at his torn pillow. He was sleepy, yes, but he didn't think he was ready to sleep now. For the first time in ten years, he was actually not looking forward to sleep. He wasn't certain of what he would see in his dream.

But maybe—

Fighting off an odd awkwardness, Sasuke cleared his throat. "If you stay here."

Golden eyebrows shot up.

His hands, suddenly beyond his hold, twisted in front of him in a helpless lack of control as his mouth opened and closed. Where was his legendary grace, his envied sophistication when he needed it most? Where were the confident words, the indifferent air? He cleared his throat again and forced his hands down, frowning hard at his actions—however much he grasped in front of him, he wouldn't find them, anyway, the words to say what was on his mind. How could he, when he didn't even know what he wanted?

So he settled for repeating himself instead.

"Just—stay. Here."

He looked down. That had been... unexpectedly harder to say. An inexplicable anger surged through him even as he inwardly winced. It was all Naruto's fault. All his fault that Sasuke was like _this_.

His head shot up when the other moved. He inwardly sighed when Naruto moved past his bed to settle on the wall to his right, sitting down with a knee propped up. Made to lean on the wall when Sasuke cleared his throat again.

"You can lie—here," he said evenly, refusing to allow his awkwardness to seep in. "My bed is big enough for three."

Naruto's face was turned to him but Sasuke couldn't discern any reaction. He thought it would be far better to see embarrassment, even _revulsion_, other than the absence of reaction in the scarred face. This... void of expression—Sasuke thought it didn't suit him.

He could feel a vague sense of betrayal—all because of the village symbol covering Uzumaki Naruto's eyes.

_"Our teammate, Sasuke-kun... He has the most beautiful blue eyes the sky couldn't compare with."_

His dark eyes slowly widened. _Blu_—

A voice interrupted his half-forming thoughts.

"Okay."

Sasuke blinked, forgetting the thread of his thoughts as he watched Naruto stand up. Suddenly, his guest's—friend, closest friend, _you're my most important friend_—simple motions seemed to be slower, magnified, as if his bloodline had activated. As the blond neared, he wondered why his heart was suddenly beating too loudly and painfully all over again. Why his chest was constricting so much that even his lungs seemed to need more air. Why he could hear his blood rushing in his ears, could see his hands shaking with an odd anticipation, could feel too much heat in his body he felt like fire itself.

Adrenaline, he noted faintly. His body was too wound up, ready to spring at a second's notice.

This was the first time he remembered ever feeling adrenaline rush not remotely connected to a mission or training. He wondered why it had to happen now—it was uncomfortable, it was disconcerting, and it was making him anxious, his mind tired yet his body on alert, his senses in bewildering hyper-awareness. It was concerning, consuming, and he started in a little shock when a weight settled heavily to his right. He reflexively turned beside him only to come face to face with Naruto's hitai'ate.

Sasuke watched Naruto tentatively lower his left upper body, a hand securing a pillow for his head. As the other slowly raised his legs to the bed, moving like a wary animal, Sasuke's brow creased.

"I can lend you clothes."

Naruto froze. A second later and he relaxed, settling completely on the right side of Sasuke's bed.

"Nah, it's cool. I'm used to it," Naruto replied. He smiled. "Besides, it's great for cold nights. Warms me up nicely."

Sasuke frowned. His ridiculously powerful attachment to his robe was very frustrating.

"Change," he intoned, his irritation hidden. This covering-too-much, this keeping-secrets, this _hiding_, was becoming too damn infuriating. "I'll wash it for you."

Naruto raised an eyebrow. "You think this is the only thing I wear?" he asked. He gestured to what Sasuke believed to be his hip. "I have another robe in my scroll, Sasuke-san. Fact is, I keep everything in scrolls. Bags are too—" he quirked a smile, "—troublesome. Plus I don't look loaded, na? It—"

"Why," Sasuke cut in, hissing, "do you keep hiding from _me?_"

Red lips parted in a soundless gasp. Sasuke approached the stunned blond on his knees—the latter edged away in apparent anxiety and confusion.

"I'm not," Naruto denied, blindly backing away. The dark form stiffened when his back hit the wall, a grim satisfaction settling on the approaching Uchiha. "Sasuke-san, you're obviously tired an—"

"Damn straight I'm tired," Sasuke gritted out, his voice sharp and jagged. "Why do you keep lying to me? There's more to us than what you say and you _refuse_ to let me—"

"Sasuke-san," a cold voice cut in, too painful to hear and too cruel to believe. Sasuke unconsciously flinched—it was pure ice.

"There is no _us_."

Hot red anger burst in his chest. "You know what I mean!" Sasuke growled, furious and bewildered and hurthurt_hurt_. Why was he saying that, what did he mean by that, why did he keep hurting him with his denials and lies? Why would he say them, those words, in a voice so cold and so flat and so empty? Why did it hurt to hear?

_What had I done to you?_ a small voice whispered.

"You know what I mean," he repeated, suddenly tired, suddenly lost. "You have—You_ lied_, to me," he continued, his voice lowering, his words halting. "We're friends. _Close_ friends. You are—were—"

Sasuke turned away, losing the courage to see himself in glinting cold silver.

_Precious… to me…_

He breathed deeply, hating himself for being so weak to voice out his thoughts, his feelings. If he couldn't admit it to Naruto, how could he admit it to himself? How would Naruto help him remember if he couldn't see how sincere Sasuke was in wanting him back in his life?

His eyes widened at the thought. Did he—did he really want that? Was it—what it was about? Having Uzumaki Naruto with him—all over again?

_But he lied to me._

Maybe he had good reasons.

_Like hate?_

—For what else could it be? Why else would Naruto choose to conceal his true appearance? Why else would he be silent about their past? Why else would he _lie_ to him, _deny_ the fact that they're teammates, friends, _close_ friends, and _pretend_ he had never met Sasuke the first time he thought they did in the Hokage's office?

Why else would Uzumaki Naruto do those things if not for his deep hatred of Uchiha Sasuke?

"Why did I try to kill you?" he asked quietly.

_Why would I want to hurt you?_

The answer came easily. "Because I was a pain in the ass, Sasuke-san." Sasuke raised his head sharply—Naruto, sensing the sudden movement, sighed. "You shouldn't be thinking of useless things. It's all in the past and it's best left forgotten, y'know."

_Useless... things?_

His fists curled.

_All in the past?_

Anger rose in his veins.

**_Best left forgotten?_**

"Like how you've _forgotten_ to tell you're a _man__?_" Sasuke spat out, barely controlling his fury. "Or how you've _forgotten_ to mention we're teammates_, friends_? Or how you've _forgotten_ to say you're an important part of _my past_?"

"Why would I when you can't even _see_ I'm a _guy?_" Naruto yelled, shattering his passive stance. He pushed himself forward. "You don't even think anything's wrong at all! Hell_, _you'd probably have gone on thinking I'm a _woman_ if no one had told you, wouldn't you? Because there's _no way in hell_ you'd know unless _someone told you and you're not suppo_—_!_"

"_Yes!_" Sasuke roared. "And it's _humiliating!_ An ANBU captain, and I didn't even suspect anything, didn't notice anything! Thinking you're a woman, _believing _you are, when everybody else knows the truth and they all knew I thought you were all along!" His hands were clenched too tightly too painfully, fighting back the wild urge to ram the other man's head to the wall _again and again_ until the truth came out—or rip away that blindfold and expose the truth to his eyes. "Do you derive some twisted pleasure from fooling people? _Me?_"

_Why do you hide so much?_

The rain took over the sudden silence.

"Sasuke-san," Naruto sighed, breaking the melancholy of the melody of the rain. "Just—just let's stop this—_this_? Talk tomorrow instead? When our heads are cooler, y'know, and—" he sighed again, "It's been a long night and I seriously think we should rest. Na?"

Naruto was right, Sasuke knew. But it was—it was entirely unfair. There were a lot of questions in his mind, questions brought by Naruto and Sasuke wanted answers _now_. After learning how much had been hidden from him—after realizing that Uzumaki Naruto had been important to him, _was still important to him_—after knowing that he had hurt him, _had tried to kill him_—

After grasping, in a fleeting moment, something so intangible it could only be real—

_Naruto... why won't you tell me anything?_

After tonight, he wasn't ready to let Naruto go. Many things in his life had no answers already—he refused to accept that the questions he had now would be one of them.

Not when Naruto was here.

"And then? I wake up and you're gone?" he murmured. He turned away, his voice lower, softer in its unconscious regret. "I couldn't even trust you now. How could I trust your words?"

Sasuke closed his eyes when the other shifted away from him. He felt the bed dip as Naruto's weight moved until it finally settled on the furthest right edge of his bed. His eyes opened and he watched as Naruto, with back turned to him, slowly lay down on his bed and curled in on himself.

Closing his eyes, he felt his way to the furthest left edge of his bed and turned around, lying on his side. He pulled his blanket up to his waist, opening his eyes, facing his wall.

Feeling defeat.

_You didn't even defend yourself, you idiot._

"Words are ties," a quiet voice sounded from his right. Sasuke stopped himself from jerking upright in surprise. "And the ties that bind—can also be shackles that chain."

"I'm not asking you to bind me," Sasuke replied as quietly, his eyes glowing onyxes in the dark. "And I doubt you can chain me."

He heard soft laughter behind him. Sasuke felt the beginnings of a smile on his lips at the strangely endearing sound. "You're not s'posed to answer, y'know," Naruto commented lightly. "You're s'posed to pretend to be asleep while I pour out my heart and sappy shit comes out of my mouth. Like in stories."

Sasuke was a bit glad for the darkness in his room—it hid the way he knew his face had lit up, the way his lips had tilted up into a small smile. No one had ever teased with him like this before, so light and inviting of carefree laughter—it was something so rare in his world. And this, lying on his bed beside Uzumaki Naruto under a warm blanket, as the autumn rain blew cold wind into his room, as they exchanged soft murmurs and light laughter—it felt like all things familiar and comfortable and loved.

Like home.

His smile faltered before completely disappearing.

_Or maybe it was familiar and I don't remember._

As if sensing the sudden change in his mood, Naruto went on in an even quieter voice, "How about false words, Sasuke-san? Or words that are true, but false to someone else? Do you think they can chain people too? Or maybe they can't really chain because people think they're false shackles?"

His brows furrowed. The words were getting stranger. What did Naruto mean?

"My truth can be different from yours," Naruto whispered, "What is true to me can be a lie to you, y'know. What can bind me—may chain you. And what can chain me, it may bind you."

_What binds him_—_may chain me? Different truth?_

"The words I treasure can be words you trash too. Like how someone's trash can be another's treasure, na?"

_"Naruto taught me about bonds, Uchiha."_

"What I consider precious ties—they can be shackles you curse—"

_"The bond we have is the reason I am alive."_

"And what I believe in—can be something you deny—"

_I don't... understand..._

"—something you refuse to accept."

_He said ties but_—_but he meant_—_he meant **bonds**. He meant bonds, I know it, _Sasuke thought hazily, his mind beginning to shut down as sleep overpowered him. He forced his eyes open—this was important, he felt it was, and he should stay up—

_Ties_…

—listen—

_Bonds_…

—remember—

_Seals_…

—everything—

"So I guess what I'm saying is, it's up to you if you'd believe what I say," Naruto said breezily. "I've always been talkative, see. So yeah," his voice lowered, "we should catch some sleep now, Sasuke-san."

His sight was steadily blurring, darkness creeping on the edges even as his mind began to show visions of sunshine and skies. He nodded drowsily, not stopping his eyes this time as they blinked slowly—once, twice, thrice—before closing for the dream that was calling to him.

_"Sweet dreams..."_

As he drifted off into the night, he sleepily mused over the strange choking sound behind him.

_"... Sasuke."_

It was probably just the rain.


	19. Chapter 16

**The Sky**

_by Hic Iacet Mori_

* * *

**Chapter 16**

He sat under the leafless tree, staring up at the sky as his dark eyes scanned its blue-gray expanse. A moment soon and his gaze transferred to the green vastness around him, his eyes skirting past visions that had always been in his mind. He had been searching since a time ago he couldn't recall, had been seeking what he couldn't explain but believed was supposed to be there, was _meant_ to be there—Sasuke didn't _understand _how he did but he _knew_ that something was missing.

Had been missing for a long, long time.

"Nice set-up you have here."

His head snapped up.

"Who'd have thought?"

Confused dark eyes darted around.

"Your eyes suck. Just can't see what's in front of you, na?"

He blinked at the words. He slowly rose from the ground, his head turning as he looked up, _up_ until his gaze landed on a rotten branch.

"That's always been your problem."

Perched atop, looking into the distance—

"Hmm?"

—was a shadow.

He reflexively closed his eyes when wind—suddenly strong, suddenly _there_—swept past him, leaves that were _never there before_ rising and scattering and circling him in a lover's first dance. Soon they were touching him, kissing him, floating around him like dandelion seeds, the wind subsiding into a gentle breeze and stirring a strange ache in his heart.

"You can light a fire with this wind, y'know. Bet you'd love that. Pyro-freak."

His eyes narrowed, pushing the feeling aside. It was probably because of something idiotic, anyway.

"Who are you?"

The shadow responded with a derisive snort and a playful kick of its dark legs, obviously finding enjoyment in this unconscious admission of ignorance. Sasuke watched dark hands move to grip the empty spot between its thighs, using its new hold to lean forward into empty air as it kicked its legs anew. It looked entirely too comfortable in its perch on the branch, its legs kicking forward, then backward, then forward once more, in a manner too child-like to be considered anything else.

"That kinda hurt, y'know," the shadow responded after a time. The hint of laughter, however, denounced its petulant words. Sasuke could feel his eyebrow twitching in response. This—_brat_, was irritating.

Dark eyes widened in surprise when the solid blackness of the figure began to recede. He froze, watching in irrational fear and fascination—did he do something again, was he hurting _him _again?—as the dying shadow gave way to vivid splashes of colors. Before his very eyes, the shadow revealed a pair of sandaled feet—

scruffy dark green pants—

a worn white shirt with the village symbol in ridiculous orange—

tan skin glowing with a halo of light, as if the shadow was hugging the sun and its light refused to be contained—

and then—to his surprise at how he had _expected_ it all along—a crown of unruly gold-yellow hair swaying lightly with the breeze.

Sasuke immediately stepped forward, his eyes never leaving the boy on the branch as he moved from where he stood. He wanted to see him, his face. See the eyes he wanted so very much to see.

And yet no matter how many steps he took, kept taking, _wouldn't stop taking_, he wasn't getting any nearer to the familiar blond boy. His arm shot up only to find the sitting blond a finger's breadth away from him, and it was always the same distance even if he stretched up beyond what was ordinarily possible. Puzzled, irritated, _alarmed_, he took more steps, walked faster, stood up on his toes, even jumped up—

But the boy was always out of his reach.

Sasuke was feeling an uncanny desperation. Why couldn't he reach him? He was just sitting, up there, not going anywhere! Couldn't he reach anything, _anyone_ at all?

"Anou sa...This is just _so_ weird."

Why?

"Of all things... a meadow? A tree? And _leafless_ at that? What's that s'posed to mean?"

He stopped.

"And look at the sky. It's so _boring_. Is there s'posed to be some hidden meaning shit in all of these? What, you trying to be poetic or something?"

What.

"_Gah!_ Is this your way of making me out as stupid again, you jerk? And why's it just you here, anyway? Where are the _girls_?"

An.

"Okay, never mind the girls—where the fuck are the ramen? I didn't sign up for a hunger strike, y'know. You can starve your pretty ass for all I care. Che, diets are overrated anyway."

_Idiot._

"Shut _up_," Sasuke finally growled. The _hell?_ He was already frustrated at how he couldn't get nearer to the dumbass and now said dumbass had to start yakking on every mundane thing imaginable? And who the hell was _he_ to speak of such things against the world in his dream? No one asked _him_ to be here!

"Are you annoyed yet? Are you? Are you? Anou sa, anou sa, where's the sun? You've the boring sky already, why not add a stupid sun with it? Or is it too much for your limited imagination?"

His thin patience snapped.

_"Shut up!**"**_ he roared. He suddenly felt tremors from the tree and he heard a yelp of surprise. Sasuke watched, horrified, as the blond boy grappled for purchase on the branch, thrust forward and backward by the sheer force of the punch he had delivered without his knowledge.

"_You bastard!_" the blond cried out. Sasuke breathed a small sigh of relief when the boy managed to right himself—he wasn't sure if anyone could die in his dreams and he wasn't too keen on knowing for certain. He almost groaned. What the hell was happening? How did _he _get here?

"Stupid jerkface prissy-ass prick."

Was this—Was this really _Naruto?_

"Hmp," the boy huffed. From his vantage point, Sasuke saw tan arms move forward to cross in front of him. What an immature and annoying moron. This _brat_ was very different from the Naruto he knew.

"Since you're falling apart and all like the drama queen you are, I'll forgive your asshole self," the blond said a moment later, shrugging generously. Sasuke snorted despite himself, finding the boy's antics somewhat cute and amusing, though still immature. What happened next was something he didn't expect.

The boy threw his head back and_ laughed_.

For some reason, Sasuke felt his annoyance slipping away. To his surprise, he also felt his lips twitching along. He didn't even know what was amusing but—

For the next few minutes, the two laughed like friends, _old_ friends, friends who never stopped being crazy over each other and never would no matter how long forever lasted. Sasuke's deeper laugh would slow down into a smile before a snort, or a giggle, or a high-pitched laugh from the young blond would set him off again, and then their laughter would pierce to the listening skies once more.

"You're so predictable!"

He felt that his face would crack open from all this smiling he couldn't seem to stop doing, and it was a great relief when they managed to stop. It took quite some time but finally, they settled into a comfortable silence.

He raised an eyebrow when the boy shifted.

"This tree's the prettiest I've ever seen," the boy remarked.

Both his eyebrows rose, dark eyes glancing at the barren tree for a second. The tree was dead. A spark could set it off and it would turn to ash faster than he could throw fire from his mouth. He decided to humor the boy with an answer, though—he felt that he must always have something to say back to this little blond idiot.

"It's dead."

A snicker of disbelief. "Dead. _Right._ Use your bunny eyes for more than glaring, why don't you."

Twitching at the moronic dismissal of his kekkei genkai, Sasuke glared at the boy whose back remained turned against him. His mouth, drawing into a thin line in renewed irritation, parted with a soundless intake of breath at a sudden gust of wind.

"Look."

Beautiful green leaves rained down.

"See it?"

From a tree that had been _dead for ten years._

"We're shinobi of Konoha," the blond went on, his pitch rising and falling at awkward intervals. Sasuke's head snapped up. The boy on the branch had changed—gone were the green and the white of his clothes, replaced by the familiar orange jumpsuit with its thick white collar grazing his hair. He could see a band of blue ending into a knot in the middle of the back of his head, brushing against more unruly spikes of hair that were as golden yellow as the dying afternoon light.

He watched as a longer, orange-swathed arm stretched out to the right. A tan hand landed on a spot on the trunk, fingers spread out with almost a touch of curiosity.

"We're not Rock 'coz we don't pretend to be strong, only to become dust after many many years of being hit so hard," the deepening voice went on. He was _changing_, Sasuke realized, changing _right in front of him_—"We're not Sand 'coz we don't hit the eyes—we don't hit people where they hurt a lot and we don't leave them to die in the heat. We're not Cloud 'coz we're not just looked at—we can be reached too, and we don't look down at those below us, at those who could only look up and pray. We're not Mist 'coz we don't disappear in the morning and we don't leave anyone wet and cold and uncomfortable and thirsty for the real thing. And we'll never be Sound 'coz we'd never strike others, we'd never _take_ from others, just to make a noise that only we'd be happy to hear."

Sasuke heard a smile in his voice. "We make everything brighter, us Leaf. There can be food and life with us. And even if we die because the wind brought us too far from home, from everything we stand for, we'd die happy because we know that through us, there'd been a little more life. That we protected someone from the heat, gave someone air, provided someone food, made someone's world a little bit brighter. Being a Leaf is awesome, y'know, and it's all I've ever wanted to be. I can't imagine me being anyone else.

"Know something else?" the blond went on, his tone becoming speculative. "I just thought, if the ultimate shinobi is a leaf—Itachi would be a tree. Na?"

Sasuke drew in a sharp breath.

"Even in your dream... it's only him who can protect you—the only bond you'd accept."

The hand on the trunk caressed the wood.

"He's the only person you'd let protect you."

Desperate words clawed in his throat, a foreign alarm prickling on his veins and spreading a cold fear in his chest. Nono_no_, it wasn't like that. It wasn't like that at all!

"The only one you'd live for."

That voice he heard before. In the village proper, _calling_ him.

"Na, Sasuke?"

It was Naruto's voice.

The young man in orange and black turned slightly—Sasuke could see his profile chased by shadow and light, could see his whiskers stretching up, could see his lips tilting into a sad smile.

"Oi, bastard."

But he could never see his eyes.

"I miss you, y'know."

The wind picked up.

"Usuratonkachi!"

The ninja on the branch slowly turned to face him.

"He makes me smile inside."

His stunned dark eyes caught those of the figure in blue.

"Why can I only make him sad?"

He bowed his head in defeat.

"I miss him too."

It was himself.

* * *

He stretched his arm to the right.

_Why would you miss me_—

His pale hand grasping, searching, for someone a voice in his mind whispered was supposed to be there.

—_when I'm right here beside you?_

Dark eyes flew open.

_No_, Sasuke told himself, suddenly up, suddenly awake, suddenly consumed with fear as his heart hammered in his chest, the spot beside him damning him in its emptiness. There was no way _he _would leave, not after last night. Not after what he learned, not after what Naruto _knew_ he remembered. He's a Konoha shinobi, the future Rokudaime, a member of Team Seven, his _friend_. He wouldn't up and run away—

_"My name is Uzumaki Naruto and I never go back on my word!"_

But the sheet beside him was cold, the pillows not even creased. The right side of his bed was smooth, immaculate, as if no one had lain there at all.

_"_—_it's up to you if you'd believe what I say."_

Just like yesterday, in his Nii-san's old room.

He took a deep breath—waiting until he relaxed enough—and exhaled. He was being damned irrational _all over the hell again_ and it's too early for this drama, not to mention too _tiring_. The past two days had been draining enough already, what with those slew of thoughts and emotions, and he should stop letting the latter control him. He's a shinobi and it's _high time he remembered that_.

Closing his eyes, Sasuke extended his chakra to look for his house guest's. He huffed seconds later, irritated, when he remembered that Naruto had his chakra completely hidden. A faint thought—_doesn't he feel safe in Konoha?—_and the futility of said action tightened his resolve. He was a bloody ANBU captain, and perhaps he could do better if he wasn't searching while _sitting on his own damn bed?_

He stiffened.

Someone's in his house.

His eyes narrowed.

Someone who shouldn't be.

He huffed again and slid down, stifling a yawn as he did a short series of stretches to waken his muscles. Minutes later and he entered his bathroom, coming out fresher as he toweled his dark hair dry with his skin noticeably flushed pink from the short hot shower. He then dropped the white towel from his waist, pulled on his otousan's old black kimono over a clean pair of black boxers, ran a comb over his hair once, and then slid the door open to leave.

He passed by Itachi's old room—opening the door a crack to make sure Naruto wasn't there—and walked through the silent hallway. Ignoring the other rooms, he reached the end and turned to where he sensed the intruder was.

His kitchen.

"Early to bed and early to rise, Sasuke?" drawled his uninvited guest, astride a chair with back facing him. "You're healthy as a damned horse, wealthy as fuck, but are you wise as shit?"

Sasuke stared for a second before dismissing him. He felt mildly annoyed, though, that the moron was sitting on Naruto's chair.

—and that said moron didn't seem to have issues with eating breakfast obviously meant for _him_.

"Yeah, I kinda missed your voice a lot so I decided to visit," the man said, flashing all-too sharp teeth as Sasuke settled on the head of the table. "Nice spread, by the way," the voice went on as dark eyes took in the meal made him. It was the same breakfast fare—rice and miso soup—except the side dish was tamagoyaki this time. Along with five cups of ramen, there seemed to be an addition as well. A bowl of—

Dark eyes iced over.

"Did you get these?" he asked in a cool, soft voice.

"'Course not!" his visitor immediately denied. "What d'you take me for? If that's a sword, sure, I'd be on it fas—"

"Suigetsu."

"Why don't you as—"

"I did," another voice joined in. Sasuke looked up and squashed down his wild wild relief at seeing Naruto standing by the doorway, light from outside spilling in to frolic upon sunshine-gold hair. There was a little smile on full red lips, and he wondered faintly if it was the sun or the smile that was making the man in black glow.

"Good morning!"

He bit down harshly on his tongue as the inane thought seeped into his consciousness. It seemed hunger could make an idiot out of a genius.

"I like being cut off, y'know," Houzuki Suigetsu remarked dryly, a flicker of annoyance in purple eyes. "Feels like I'm back home with my bitch of a master."

"Hey, you didn't tell me that!" Naruto exclaimed, walking in with another bowl of freshly-picked tomatoes. "You and Ka—"

"Usuratonkachi," Sasuke cut in impatiently, the epithet coming out smoothly without thought. He placed a hand on the bowl of black tomatoes on his table, noting the way his house guest had flinched. "Where did you get these?"

And how did he know _Suigetsu?_

Glinting metal met his eyes. His fist unconsciously curled.

"... I can replace it if you want."

Sasuke eyed the stiff man—the tomato bowl was too close to his body, as if it could shield himself from his observing dark eyes. A subconscious defensive position.

He took a black tomato and caressed the fruit with his thumb, the motion unknowingly tender, as he eyed the immobile blond. From his periphery, he caught Suigetsu looking at them with a lazy eyebrow raised in question.

"Hn."

"You're very touchy," Suigetsu commented as Naruto slid on the chair beside his. Sasuke, frowning, thought his _friend _seemed to want to be far away from him. "And really annoying in the morning."

He gently placed the tomato back on the first bowl, picking up his chopsticks and ignoring Suigetsu again. Naruto broke his own chopsticks, yelling an exuberant_ "Itadakimasu!" _and peeling off the cover of his first cup ramen. Naruto inhaled the scent wafting from the piping-hot ramen for a couple of seconds and then promptly dug in. Placing two pieces of tamagoyaki over his rice, Sasuke ate as well.

Beneath his dark hair, his eyes kept straying from the two bowls of black tomatoes to Naruto. _Does Naruto remove his blind when no one was around? _he wondered. His tomato garden—because these tomatoes could only come from _his_ garden—had a large variety of tomatoes and this particular black tomato had been his favorite for years now. To distinguish it from the others by scent and texture alone was close to impossible—its smoky scent was difficult to detect, and it's set apart from others only through its colors.

Seven years ago, the tomato he would learn later was called _Kurosuna no Koushaku_, Prince of the Black Sand, appeared on his doorstep. A visit to the library—and then to the ANBU archives on the same day—informed him that it was indigenous to the northernmost region of Suna, cultivated under controlled climate that made it more superior to other black tomato variants. Its color was a rich mahogany-red—bordering on dark brown until it appeared red-black—and shaped like an egg. It had a complex flavor and a distinctive taste, both of which won Sasuke over.

He had liked the tomato enough to plant its seeds on what was soon to become his own garden. He planted more varieties but none were as cared for as Koushaku, even if it took the longest to bear fruit. The other tomato varieties weren't to be sneezed at, however—all of the tomatoes in his garden were exotic and could only be found outside of Konohagakure no Sato.

Koushaku was the rarest, though, because Suna produced this tomato _exclusively_ for its people as an ingredient in their most powerful antidotes. From the information he had gathered, mere possession of Koushaku could get an outsider executed as this would be tantamount to stealing a village secret. As such, he would like to know just who the _brave-clueless-idiot_ or _idiot-with-a-deathwish_ was who kept leaving tomatoes—especially this one—on his doorstep _every single year._

Right now, he'd very much want to know if this choice was a coincidence. None knew of his special fondness for Koushaku, not even Sakura and Kakashi who visited a few times in the past years. Sakura had even disliked its odd coloring on first sight, when he used it for his salad on her first visit seven years ago. It was the occasion of his twentieth birthday, Sasuke remembered. She had thrown a small party in honor of another year added to his life, and feeling relatively happy at how his life was going, Sasuke had tossed his perfect garden salad.

_"We used to buy unsweetened cakes, Sasuke-kun. There's a small bakery near the border selling them, and we'd buy candles depending on how old you'd be."_

He remembered it most because, except for that one night when he shared his dream with her, Sakura began calling him _Sasuke-kun_ once again.

_"Then we'd take turns making a wish before we blow a candle, and when we reach the last one, we'd shout all of our wishes for you and we'd blow it together."_

He had known then, without a doubt, that he and Sakura would become closer friends this time around.

_"His one wish, Sasuke-kun, the one he kept repeating over and over again_—_"_

That everything would be _better_ this time around.

_"_—_is for you to come back."_

A particularly loud crunch snapped Sasuke from his thoughts. Dark eyes, still wide—_Did Sakura mean **Naruto**? Did he want me back, back then?—_turned to Suigetsu, who was eyeing the black tomato he had just bitten.

"The color's creepy but the taste's not so bad," Suigetsu mused. Another bite. "No wonder you're being emotional." He cocked his head, eyeing the blond on his fourth ramen cup. "Where'd you get this, anyway?"

"Garden," Naruto replied.

Suigetsu whistled. "And you're still alive? Huh. Sasuke's a possessive bastard. Hell, he'd even go _"Suigetsuuuu"_ when I _compliment_ his little search-and-fail-to-destroy bitch." He cupped his chin, taking a third bite. "But then again, it's you, huh?"

The other responded with a hearty slurp.

Sasuke took a sip of his tea before putting his cup down, finally deciding to address his former teammate. The idiot had the worst timing. "Why are you here?" he asked indifferently.

Suigetsu snorted. "Don't pretend to be happy on my account. Uzumaki here ran into me, told him I plan to meet you, and _then_ he invited me here. Really smart, y'know, instead of having _someone _force me to meet _him_ in a ramen stand. I'm not even a ramen fan," he ended with a mumble.

Sasuke internally rubbed his temple. A quick glance to the calendar revealed it was the ninth of the month. Was it that time already?

Every four months, a member from his former team, Taka, would meet with Sasuke and deliver a report on the current situation of the reconstructed Otogakure no Sato. Karin was the former Oto ambassador to Konoha—she was a perceptive analyst and a brilliant tactician, and her knowledge and expertise carried over to diplomacy—but her explosive rant at how the daimyo's wife treated her aging cat, Tora, made her unpopular to the matron of Hi no Kuni. Along with her _extreme _fondness for Sasuke and her contempt at what she believed was a slight against her at his choice of residence, Karin decided to resign.

She was replaced by a member of the remnants of Fuuma Clan. However, Sasuke didn't fancy dealing with someone he didn't know and had no desire to get to know. After a chilly word from the Godaime herself, the man was replaced with Juugo. On his third appearance as the ambassador, though, Juugo resigned from the post and the mantle of ambassadorship transferred to Suigetsu, the last member of Taka. To this day, Suigetsu remained the Oto ambassador.

To _this_ day, it still surprised Sasuke that Otogakure no Sato existed at all—all because of Konoha and its stubborn Hokage. Karin mentioned that it was the Hokage's brilliant thesis that won the daimyo over, who in turn initiated a dialogue with the weaker daimyo of Ta no Kuni. Oto was reconstructed after the signing of the protectorate treaty and both villages had enjoyed good relations ever since.

"What's the meeting about?" Naruto asked with clear curiosity.

Suigetsu waved his chopstick about. "Oh, this and that. Shit on Oto and its fucking leader. Common trash."

Naruto snorted. "No love lost, eh?"

Suigetsu snickered. "I'd fucking love her if she gets lost."

Sasuke's eyes narrowed at the two. They were too casual with each other, like friends. It was possible, he thought, that the two _were_ before Naruto left ten years ago. Sasuke had been unconscious for four months after his return—they must have met during that time and became friends.

He felt unhappy about it, though. Not that he despised Suigetsu—Sasuke had a degree of fondness for his hand-picked teammates, and he felt a strange enjoyment whenever Karin pummeled Suigetsu to the ground. It was later on that he realized he did so because it reminded him of his former team, Team Seven of Konoha. It was like how Sakura used to—

Sasuke blinked.

—_hit Naruto._

"You stayin' here, fish cake?" the Oto nin asked after draining his nth glass of water.

Naruto grinned. "You envyin', fish face?"

Suigetsu made a sound between a snort and a laugh. "As much as I envy Karin's panties."

"Just can't go a minute without talking about her, na?" Naruto teased with a broader grin.

The other man sputtered. "O-Oi, fish cake! You're s'posed to be on my side!" Suigetsu whined. "We're the Fish Brothers, oi!"

"Why, you hotter than her now?"

Dark eyes widened without anyone's notice.

A pale accusing finger. "I knew you're blind, I knew it!" Suigetsu yelled.

His jaw clenched. Sasuke decided to remind the two _idiots_ that they were in _his_ house and that _he was here._

"—Suigetsu."

The pale-haired shinobi automatically rolled his eyes. "I know, I know. Whatever I'm s'posed to know."

A loud whisper.

"Wuss."

He forced his jaw to relax even if it wasn't really easy right now. Why wasn't Naruto ever like that with him? This Naruto conversing with Suigetsu was—the nearest to the Naruto he had dreamt about.

"Suigetsu," Sasuke said. "Meet me at Ichiraku later." Ignoring Suigetsu's grumbles—_"Again?"—_he turned to address the other man in the room. "We need to talk."

While this Naruto who spoke to him was—

"I can wait, Sasuke-san."

_Distant._

"He traveled for days to meet with you," Naruto went on. "He deserves to speak with you first, at least."

Suigetsu raised an ice-blue eyebrow. "Man, Uzumaki. Where'd you suddenly go leaving a prissy-ass bunshin behind?—'coz it's hard to believe this's you. So what, you up for years and you come back a princess? By the way," Suigetsu casually pointed out, "you look like a girl."

Naruto cocked his head. "Why, you fallin' for me now?" he joked.

Suigetsu bared sharp teeth in a grin, waggling his eyebrows for effect. "Why, you hintin'?"

"Suigetsu," Sasuke gritted out. This conversation was just too disturbing and this—this _flirting_ or whatever they were called, was—_irritating_. Was his presence truly that easily forgotten? And yes, he could _see _they're _friends_—but did they have to be annoying about it?

"Maa, maa..." Suigetsu grunted. He made a move to stand up but was immediately stopped by Naruto pushing back his own chair and dragging _him_ down.

"What's with people manhandling me?" Suigetsu muttered. Naruto simply flashed him a cheeky grin before turning to his left, to the head of the table where Sasuke sat, and tilted his head down.

"We'll talk later, Sasuke-san," Naruto said. "I promise."

_Promise?_

Sasuke glared at Suigetsu and let his chilly silence overwhelm the atmosphere. He felt a grim satisfaction when Naruto visibly faltered and opened his mouth—which abruptly clicked shut as they turned to the direction of the receiving area.

Three sharp knocks sounded and Sasuke stood up, irked at the interruption. Naruto followed behind him, Suigetsu watching them as he bit on his second tomato.

The door slid open and revealed Sakura.

"Good morning, Sasuke-kun, Naruto," Sakura greeted, "And you too, Suigetsu!" she added in a louder voice. From the kitchen, the Oto nin yelled his own greeting back. Nodding as if she could be seen, she returned her attention to Naruto. "Ready?"

"Ye—"

"He's not leaving," Sasuke cut in with a dark look. No. The idiot wasn't leaving until they talked. He looked straight into green eyes. "He stays."

Confused, Sakura turned to look at Naruto's paler figure, worry flickering in her eyes at what she saw. Green eyes transferred back to Sasuke and she smiled. "No, Sasuke-kun. Iruka-sensei asked for us. We have to be in the academy in ten minutes."

Sasuke could spot bullshit a thousand miles away. "Sakura."

"Sasuke-kun. We need to go," Sakura said gently, taking Naruto's unresisting tan hand with her white one. The steel in her eyes, however, belied her tone, showing clearly that she had chosen to take Naruto's side over his.

Sasuke didn't know which infuriated him more—that Sakura, who used to fawn over him, would choose to side with Naruto, or that his talk with Naruto was postponed yet again.

Or that _Naruto_ _wasn't resisting Sakura's hold on his hand._

"Hn," Sasuke grunted, conveying all the icy anger he was feeling at the moment. With a semi-apologetic smile from Sakura and a decisive nod from Naruto—

_"It's me,"_ he murmured, and Sasuke wondered what Naruto meant

—the two left.

"Never thought to see the day," Suigetsu remarked, leaning on the wall separating the receiving area to the kitchen. Sasuke went past him in barely-concealed frustration and the other man followed with a shrug.

"Seems like yesterday when the two kept going after you," Suigetsu went on. "More so fish cake." He shook his head, his brows furrowed, failing to notice the way Sasuke's head shot up in surprise. "Man. I still wonder why'd he go through all that just to have you back here. And after! You'd think he's fucking in love with you or something," he ended with a snicker.

Something hot was trapped in his throat. "What... did he go through?"

Suigetsu raised an eyebrow. "What, looking for some giggles? I've always thought you're sick in the head, Sasuke." At his darkening look, Suigetsu waved a hand. "C'm_on_. Everyone knows the hell he'd gone through 'coz of you and I side with him there. Sure, I thought he'd be a good practice dummy after he dissed me for taking Zabuza's sword and accidentally ruining it—like it's my fault anyway!—but even _I_ could see how much of a dick you've been to him. The guy's just concerned 'bout you. Though I thought he left because he hated you."

With each word from his former teammate's mouth, a burning-hot stake kept ramming into Sasuke's chest. No wonder—No wonder Naruto didn't want anything to do with him anymore—

"But eh, he wouldn't have fought so hard for you if he hates you, y'know?" Suigetsu mused. "You'd probably be dead if it weren't for him and we'd probably be driftin'." He made a face. "With Karin 24/7. _Again._"

A chill prickled at his spine. "Fought?"

Suigetsu gave him a measuring look. "The hell's wrong with you?" He frowned. "You probably don't remember, anyway, 'coz you're being a jerk lying in the hospital while we all ran around like headless chickens. He presented a case to at least stop the capital punishment from applying to you. Also presented the Oto appeal to the daimyo."

It's too early in the morning, he thought faintly. Too early for his head to spin this much, for his stomach to twist and turn violently this much. He wasn't even done with his breakfast—

"Why didn't you tell me this?" Sasuke hissed.

Suigetsu glowered in annoyance. "Why're you going hormonal on me? _You don't ask!_ We just talk about those protectorate shit and you force me to eat ramen on the side! 'Sides," he rolled his eyes, "I thought you hate Uzumaki so I don't bring up much of what'd remind you of him 'coz I kinda dislike _Amaterasu_. 'Twas really tough 'coz fish cake's the architect of the treaty—and now I learn all those trippin' around eggshells was useless? Tch."

_ Architect_—_?_

"And whenever I ask how's the Hokage, you just go bitchy _"Fine" _like Karin," Suigetsu groused. "Like you'd spontaneously combust and drag me along just 'coz I mentioned him—"

—_Him?_

"What are you _talking_ about?"Sasuke demanded.

For the first time since their conversation, a look of wariness appeared in Suigetsu's eyes. "Er, asking about the Hokage's welfare? Where's he now? When's he planning to come back and replace the old bombshell? Y'know, things like that?"

_Him. He._

Sasuke felt nauseous.

They were _intentional._

A look of horrified understanding dawned on Suigetsu. Purple eyes immediately darted around. "_Fuck_," he cursed softly, "you mean what Karin said, that you don't remember Uzumaki, was actually _true?_" Suigetsu paled as another thought crossed his mind. "Which means she wasn't lying about the law too! _Fuck!_"

"Suigetsu," Sasuke managed to choke out. He could feel his breakfast climbing up his throat and it fucking _hurt_. "Who is the Hokage?"

Suigetsu leaned forward, his voice in a rush. "The Rokudaime. Naruto. He's the Hokage I'm talking about. _And_ _I wasn't here, got that?_"

Houzuki Suigetsu fled.

_Good fucking morning too._

Sasuke went to the sink and threw up.


	20. Chapter 17

**A/N:** It's been months, I know. I'm sorry I was unable to reply to those who reviewed - I'm actually quite worried that I can't write this fic anymore. Please do tell if I disappointed in some way - I feel so rusty after taking so long and if there are any changes in style that affect this story in a poor way, please tell me in a non-flame. I'd appreciate it very much. And I want to greet and thank _Child of the Kyuubi_.

Please enjoy.

* * *

**The Sky**

_by Hic Iacet Mori_

* * *

**Chapter 17**

He straightened up five minutes later, confident that he was nowhere near throwing up his liver anymore. The early morning revelations—_revelation_, he scoffed, severely wishing he could find a way to strike it out of human language, or curse the soul of the creator of such a despicable word to eternal damnation—had been cruelly unexpected on an otherwise tolerable morning after the night he had.

_"My successor."_

Rokudaime.

_"Tsunade-shishou told me you're taking your position again. Ne, Naruto?"_

That title was controversial, he remembered. Danzou, who once held the title, was officially denounced by the Godaime herself after her recovery, calling him a traitor and usurper among others. Tsunade provided damning evidences that the daimyo of Hi no Kuni had been under the bastard's mind control when he was chosen, bringing an official letter by the daimyo himself as her last proof.

_"Rumors, Rokudaime-sama."_

Outside of the Godaime and the daimyo, only the clan leaders were privy to the contents of this letter. Everyone within the council hall, however, had felt the shock of the clan leaders after perusing the document. It left not a few hungering for its information, more so when after reading, the clan leaders unanimously stood in favor of the pronouncement that the daimyo was _indeed _under Danzou's mind control.

_"The Rokudaime. Naruto. He's the Hokage I'm talking about."_

Could the letter have been the daimyo's appointment letter? An appointment letter that stated Uzumaki Naruto as the rightful successor?

_"Yare, yare. But I'm not formally Rokudaime yet so I don't need them trailing after me. "_

He _knew_ that Naruto was the Godaime's successor—he just didn't think Naruto was _already_ the Rokudaime. And that he played a great part in Uchiha Sasuke's undeserved second chance—that Naruto had gone after him, cleared the way for his return, silently helped him rebuild his life—

_"Man. I still wonder why'd he go through all that just to have you back here. And after!"_

That he had meant to Naruto so much more than he could possibly imagine—

_"You'd think he's fucking in love with you or something."_

And _he_ _didn't even remember **anything**_—

He groaned. He knew he was sick in the head, sick in the heart, sick in his ideals and principles for most of his life, but he had never been as repulsed by himself as he did now. No memory seal should have been strong enough to conquer these—these _memories_ of loyalty, of devotion, of unwavering trust and friendship. Was he so weak that he could be overcome like this, that his links to an important past, an important _person_, could be blotted out of his consciousness without him even knowing about it for _ten uneventful years?_

... Or could it be that who sealed his memories was simply stronger than him?

_"It was me."_

He choked on a new surge of bile. Nono_no_. That couldn't be what Naruto meant. He shook his head helplessly, desperately, an intense wash of nausea sickening him to the core. _Nonono_, Naruto wouldn't do that. He probably—probably meant something else. Something irrelevant, something—maybe something mundane like, _"It was me who left the toilet seat up,"_ or _"It was me who knocked over the picture frame on your bureau,"_ or _"It was me who made the crack on the garden wall."_ It could even be _"It was me you should blame for bringing your crackpot of a former teammate here"_—

He opened his mouth, allowing a weak laugh to bubble past his throat. It was better, this foreign sound, better than the bitterness that no amount of water could dislodge from his throat right now.

Perhaps sake—?

"Laughing is good but I doubt it's the same when done alone," a voice drawled behind him. As if wakening from a dream, Sasuke reached forward and twisted the tap, watching the running water trickle to a stop with a blank stare. He released a silent breath before glancing behind him indifferently.

"So—" Kakashi started. Sasuke inwardly braced himself. Whatever it was, it didn't sound like something he'd like to hear.

"—he knocked you up so soon?"

Sometimes he hated being right.

"Didn't take you for the uke, Sas_uke_."

Sasuke knew Kakashi, his bastard of a former sensei, lived for moments when he was caught off-guard by out-of-the-blue observations delivered so casually and innocently. He also knew that _casual _and_ innocent_ were words never intended for this closet pervert whose idea of fun was counting how many twitches Uchiha Sasuke failed to conceal either in shock or mortification.

After the reflex of choking on air to the tune of his twitching eyes vanished—it was one of the many useless skills he acquired after being around Kakashi for so long—Sasuke leveled the man behind him with an empty stare. He hadn't liked how his former sensei had drawn out his name—his name had never disgusted him before. And what did being the receiver of techniques have to do with being knocked up, anyway? Sure, he hadn't entirely been fond of being _uke_ to Kakashi—he half-suspected that the closet pervert just liked to rub everyone's face in with his arsenal of jutsu, but that's how he had learned Chidori in the first place. Besides, if he couldn't be a good _uke_, he couldn't be a good _seme, _and Sasuke was good in _everything_.

Kakashi already knew Sasuke was a damned fine _seme_, though. He inwardly smirked before frowning once again. What did being a receiver have to do with being pregnant again?

—Not that he was. Tch.

"Seems my house is the current place to be," he muttered, rubbing his hands dry with a washcloth and leaning back on his sink, arms crossing over his chest. Before him, Hatake Kakashi sat on the chair previously occupied by the blond escapee, balancing the chair on its hind legs as his visible eye remained glued to his book. Sasuke could feel the same eye appraising him, though. Could feel the hidden concern lurking within detached amusement.

Kakashi... had always been that way.

Said jounin turned a page of his book. "Seems like it. Naruto and Sakura left together, followed by Suigetsu." Kakashi raised a silver eyebrow. "His chakra was erratic and he seemed in a hurry." The gray eye curved. "Curious, isn't it?"

A hand picked up a tomato and, in the next second, it vanished into Kakashi's happily-chewing masked mouth. Short of using Sharingan, Sasuke knew he'd never know what his former sensei looked like under the mask. A blurry memory surfaced in his mind, a memory of when he and his teammates tried to unmask the Copy Nin—

Sasuke briefly closed his eyes. Yes, he remembered that time. It was—_Naruto _who goaded Sakura, then him, into taking that insane mission of discovering what was underneath that mask. They hadn't been successful but—

He felt a slight tug on his lips.

—it had been fun.

"Smiling when there's no reason to isn't healthy either," Kakashi added cheerfully, well into his third tomato—and Sasuke only knew because he had counted how many tomatoes there were in that specific bowl. He could feel his fingers twitching and he quelled the mad urge to save the tomatoes from Kakashi—the other would probably start accusing him, in a really whiny voice, of losing his marbles over food.

"You still grow these, na?" Kakashi went on, cruelly joyful in the morning. Sasuke stared. The older man gave his patented one-eyed smile and reached for his fourth. "Maa, I can't help myself. Koushaku is impossible to find, after all. Unless you have connections in Suna. You know the consequence, na, Sasuke?"

There's a clue there, Sasuke thought faintly, inwardly frowning. That Kakashi's words were never innocent or casual crossed his mind once more. When the basket appeared on his doorstep just before the clock struck midnight to herald his eighteenth birthday, Sasuke had no idea what it contained and had spent the succeeding hours looking for traps or hidden messages. Incantations and jutsu didn't reveal anything, so he decided to finally untie the blue ribbon holding the thick white tissue within the basket.

What he saw had blown him away. A bite and he had been possessed. It didn't come as a surprise that he sought information about the special tomato, and he wouldn't have learned anything had Kakashi not dropped by the library and casually suggested that the ANBU archives may have the answer he was looking for. When he had looked up suspiciously, Kakashi innocently pointed out the number of opened scrolls, books, and his twitching eyebrows to know that what he was looking for wasn't there.

But Kakashi was never _casual_ or _innocent_—

Sasuke stilled for barely a second. While he remained impassive outside, inside he was surprised. Kakashi had been guiding him—because he _knew_ who sent them!

_"... Unless you have connections in Suna."_

This time, his eyes did widen in surprise.

"Sasuke," an amused voice broke in. Amused. Kakashi always sounded amused. "Did Naruto say when he's coming back?"

His own voice sounded hollow even to his ears.

"No."

The man nodded in understanding. Of what, Sasuke wasn't sure. He didn't like it, though—the feeling that Kakashi knew of something and had expected it.

"Kakashi." When the jounin looked up with an innocent air, Sasuke inwardly counted to ten. "What brings you here?"

"Can't I visit my favorite prodigy?" Kakashi asked, flipping another page with unhealthy interest. Sasuke really didn't need to know his former sensei's favorite scenes. "Besides," Kakashi looked up again, his voice mild, "I feel it best I'm here right now."

"You know," Sasuke accused, his posture suddenly rigid, his fists suddenly clenched.

Kakashi shrugged. "Maybe."

Sasuke took a deep breath. Hatake Kakashi may be all things but he wasn't a liar. Since the jounin had taken him and his teammates under his twisted and perverted wings, Kakashi had never lied to him. He liked to be deliberately mysterious about certain things when asked sometimes, true, but Sasuke thought it was better than being lied to. He saw no harm in asking now.

"Rokudaime?"

Kakashi lifted a lazy eye. "Maa. Suigetsu spoiled it for you, then."

A dark eyebrow twitched. "Kakashi."

Said shinobi straightened, the chair abruptly settling down. His gray eye was serious and Sasuke unconsciously leaned forward, acknowledging the sudden change in the older man's demeanor.

Kakashi was talking.

"Few among the shinobi know it," Kakashi said. "Godaime-sama, of course. Me. Shizune-san. The clan leaders. Sakura. Sai. Your peers, Kurenai, Neji-kun, Lee-kun, Tenten-san, Gai. And yes, even your former teammates from Taka." Kakashi ignored the steadily darkening expression of the last Uchiha. "Outside of Konoha, only the Kazekage and his siblings know. The only civilian to know is the daimyo of Hi no Kuni himself, who approved Godaime-sama's endorsement." He chuckled lightly. "She and the old council never got along and she purposefully went behind their backs. We all knew they'd deny her otherwise." Kakashi looked at him. "A well-kept secret, na?"

Sasuke compared this information to what he knew. Going by what Kakashi said, that would mean Naruto was already the heir-apparent, a Rokudaime in paper, even before Pain attacked Konoha—a fact that nullified Danzou's subsequent rise in power. It was an endorsement already approved by the daimyo, and it was simply up to the de facto leader to decide when to install the successor. So...

_"... But I'm not formally Rokudaime yet..."_

"Why wasn't he formally inducted?"

Kakashi smiled beneath his mask. "There just wasn't time. And when there finally was—" the gray eye grew somber, "—he decided to leave."

Kakashi closed his book and stood up. "Two months after the last Akatsuki invasion, he threw himself to his duties as Rokudaime." The gray eye grew hazy with recollection. "His formal training had begun and he was to be instated in six months—we're all surprised when he immediately began working on what he intended to do when he's Hokage. Looking back, I realized that Naruto was making preparations." A faint indentation of a smile behind the mask. "We all thought he was just getting busy to take his mind off you, while we waited for you to wake up."

Sasuke looked up, stunned, but Kakashi went blissfully on. "You probably know two of what he did already. He convinced the daimyo to rebuild Oto, and he rallied for the commute of your punishment. He also initiated talks with the other shinobi nations for a peace treaty that everybody else was too terrified and paranoid to think of." He shook his head. "Iwa's still stubborn, though. Even Kumo came around, though it took them eight years to do so."

"... Why are you telling me this?" _Why are you telling me about Naruto when no one else wanted to?_

His former sensei blinked. Then, his gray eye shining with empathy, he replied, "I have no issue, Sasuke, about telling you things that happened _after_ your return, especially if it's about Naruto. Now about what happened _before_—it's best, don't you think, if you learn on your own?"

Sasuke couldn't dispute the wisdom of those words. Though he wanted to remember, remember quickly, remember all, hearing everything from someone else wouldn't make his missing memories real. He needed to ask, and he needed to be guided—but in the end, he wanted to remember all on his own.

Kakashi raised a hand in mid-wave, an eye curving in a smile. "Oh yes. Naruto asked Tsunade-sama to pass that law in his stead, too. The one and only law he had ever passed."

_"When Naruto vanished, a law was passed that no one can mention that name."_

"A law banning the mention of the name Uzumaki Naruto."

_"It was me."_

"But why?" Sasuke demanded.

Kakashi smiled. "Sasuke. When you remember Naruto, you'll know why." He gave a two-fingered salute. "You have a meeting and I'm off to find him." Kakashi paused with a mischievous one-eyed grin. "And if you want to know what I meant about _uke_, ask Sakura. Ja!"

Sasuke stared where Kakashi stood seconds ago, replaced by smoke and the dancing leaves. Making up his mind, he made his way to his room to get changed.

* * *

"Seriously, Sasuke," Suigetsu mumbled after a silent moment, staring morosely at his tepid ramen, "Karin would _really_ kill me this time."

Sasuke snorted, opting to drain his nth cup of green tea for the past three hours. Houzuki Suigetsu, as was instructed, had waited for him in Ichiraku to discuss the current situation of Oto and its possible repercussions to Konoha and their ten year-old treaty. Nothing had been too alarming—the current Otokage had everything under her control.

"Like, she'd boil me in my sleep, y'know?" the other man went on. "The bitch knows that'd off me. Probably inhale me in my vapor form so there's no chance I form again. She's that cruel, man. Can you imagine a worse end than her _lungs_?"

Sasuke inwardly rolled his eyes. Why the two rubbed each other the wrong way, he'd never know. It could simply be a case of sexual tension, though, he mused. Opposites do tend to attract—like Hinata and Inuzuka, or Ino and Akimichi. Even Nara and Temari. He wouldn't be surprised if Suigetsu suddenly confessed that he and Karin had been sleeping together, too—like Naruto had earlier pointed out, Suigetsu just couldn't stop talking about her.

Sasuke wondered how he felt about it, though. On a past he couldn't exactly recall, Karin had been his top choice to mother his children. She had special abilities that would complement his Sharingan and of all the girls he had met, Sasuke could identify most with Karin—like one who had spent his formative years in a clan, he wanted to see himself reflected in his partner and his friends as much as possible, the way there was always a part of him clearly visible in his family, his relatives.

She had belonged to a powerful clan like him and, also like him, became its only survivor. And beneath her sometimes outrageous declarations of admiration for him, Sasuke had sensed sincerity in her feelings. She wasn't afraid to voice her opinions, too, even if it meant going against him. And yes, she was physically appealing from an objective point of view, though he wasn't personally attracted.

However, Sasuke couldn't marry her. Not because he didn't want to, but because he knew he simply _couldn't _anymore_—_Karin wasn't the one he had come to look for. Yearn for.

Sasuke wasn't a romantic, not by a long shot, but it would be unfair to her, to him, to create a union with her while he longed for what he had come to accept was impossible to grasp. It was better when he hadn't known what he was missing but now that he knew, he couldn't find it in himself to settle for anything less than what he wanted. He would rather search until his death, despite its futility, rather than settle for what would never be enough for him.

"—ke? Oi. _Oiiiiiii_, Sasu_keeeeee!_"

Sasuke automatically lifted up his cup, only to discover it was empty. He looked up to ask for another from Teuchi-san, only to see said owner looking down at them with a questioning expression.

"Why are you wailing?" Teuchi asked. Sasuke realized quickly he was addressing his idiotic companion. There was no way Sasuke would _wail._

Suigetsu started laughing. "Nothing, nothing, old man. Just a minor thing."

The ramen chef was skeptical, though. "I heard you talking about a law. And that ramen gaki." Kind brown eyes abruptly cleared. "O-_ho_, I get it!"

Suigetsu slowly backed away, his voice in a hush. "Whatever it is, you're wrong. And I'm just a—a Konoha nin practicing his henge! I saw this beautiful man, see, said he's name is Suigetsu, and his awesomeness struck me to the core and I just have to know how it feels to be awesome like he is—"

"That strange law made ten years ago," Teuchi waved off, "banning the mention of Naruto's name." He leaned forward, placing his rag on the counter next to him. "We've always thought it strange. That gaki's the hero of Konoha and next we know, he's gone and we're forbidden to even mention his name." A smile broke on the owner's time-ravaged features. "We never stopped talking about him, though."

_Never stopped_—_?_

Teuchi nodded to himself. "It's like what it was since he was born, when we were all forbidden to talk about Kyuubi. But this time, we talk about him so the children will know that we have a living hero and he stood up for Konoha when he should've backed down. We just don't mention his name. We have pictures, though, so they'd know him when he comes back," he added with a conspiratorial wink. "And he did," Teuchi ended with a proud smile.

A wild grin broke on Suigetsu. "Then it means I'm safe! _Woohoo!_"

Despite his puzzlement at the Oto nin's reaction, Teuchi turned to Sasuke. "It must've been difficult for you, too," the kind owner said. "Naruto must be proud that you carried on despite his absence." His eyes squinted in a smile. "I'm sure it made him happier, learning you continued your tradition of eating here after missions and training. Naruto likes to deny it, but simple things like that mean so much to him. Especially when it's from his best friend he went after for years."

Sasuke felt Suigetsu shift beside him.

"Oi, Haruno."

"Hey, it's you again," Sakura greeted, sliding on her usual spot, a chair to Sasuke's left. Sasuke saw pink hair from his periphery—_"A cup of your special green tea, Jii-san"_—but he couldn't bring himself to look. He couldn't bring himself to move as those words, the words of the old ramen chef, echoed in his ears and affirmed something in his mind.

_So Naruto did._

"Sasuke-kun? You're pale."

_He did come after me._

"Where is he?" Sasuke heard himself ask, finally looking up. He watched her shrug as she tapped the counter with her fingers.

_My best friend._

"Kakashi-sensei dragged him off for some quality male-bonding time," she replied. "Though I wonder what condoms and lube have to do with it," she muttered. Sakura abruptly shook her head, not noticing how sudden anger pulled blood out of Sasuke's white face. "On second thought—no, I'm _not_ wondering. In fact, I'm _not_ thinking how _hot_ that would b—_no_. Nononono_no_. Immunodeficiency. Lupus. Amoebiasis. Herpes—"

As Sakura recited sicknesses, each one as bad, or worse, than the other, Sasuke concentrated on forcing back his suddenly uncontrollable Sharingan. Damn his eyes but they had been bothering him a lot lately, flaring when it wasn't necessary at all. There wasn't an enemy in sight, dammit!

"—Elephantiasis. Gonorrhea. Leprosy. Syphilis—"

And why the hell was that blond moron with Kakashi when they were supposed to talk? Did he need to start stacking up on condoms and lube to get the moron to open his mouth?

"Oi, Sasuke. Whatever you're thinking, you have to stop it, man."

"Shut up," he hissed. "Shut _up._"

"Fine! Blush for all I care!—Bitch."

So what if that blond idiot and that fucking closet pervert were together? It wasn't as if he wanted some '_quality male-bonding time'_ with them. Damn them.

"Asshole."

_Damn them!_

"Where did they go?" Sasuke snapped. Sakura raised a pink eyebrow at the strange intensity in his cold black eyes, a bit frightened at the dark light within. The medic nin pursed her lips in thought and sighed, forgetting her slight fear.

"Sasuke-kun," Sakura started, and ended up sighing again, "did something happen last night?"

The last Uchiha narrowed his eyes, expression chilly. "Are you implying something?" he asked softly, his heart pounding loudly in his ears. Did Naruto tell her? How Sasuke almost killed him?

Again?

"... I'm worried."

He raised a dark eyebrow.

"Is he sleeping well?" Sakura asked.

He ignored Suigetsu's malicious snicker beside him, spearing the idiot in his mind instead. "Clarify."

Sakura shook her head, green eyes concerned and frustrated. "_Naruto._ He's paler than yesterday and he's pale enough already. He acts normal but I could see that he's tired. His responses are seconds off and he's trying to hide his shaking. He's weak, Sasuke-kun, weak from lack of sleep. I don't think he's getting enough rest."

Fuck. _Fuck_, why didn't he _notice?_

"And he looks like a girl," Suigetsu added helpfully.

Sakura looked pointedly at Sasuke. Sasuke leaned forward and with speed to make him proud, reached to her right and smacked Suigetsu upside the head. The Oto nin rolled his eyes. "I get enough from the bitch already," he groused.

Sakura snorted. "Better tell the slut she should try harder."

Name-calling. Sasuke didn't understand how Sakura and Karin could call each other vicious names and be almost friendly with each other, like how she was with Ino. Those slurs almost sounded like nicknames for each other, sometimes, the way their tones changed when they delivered them. Familiar, almost affectionate.

_"Hn. Usuratonkachi."_

_"Y-Y-You_—_Baka-yarou!"_

"Sasuke-kun?" Concerned green eyes appeared before him. Sasuke suppressed the natural reflex to back away. "You okay? You look like you saw a ghost."

He inwardly shook his head, filing this latest... _thought_ away. He focused on what Sakura previously said instead. "What did he tell you?"

Sakura's brows furrowed before clearing in understanding. "Ah! Well, he said he's just not used to sleeping in beds now after sleeping outdoors the past years." Her pink lips tugged down at the corners, her brows creasing once more as her green eyes, hesitant, began to darken with resolve. "I think it's best, Sasuke-kun, if Naruto stays with me in the meantime. Until Shi—"

"No."

Startled, her eyes shot to him. "What?"

Surprised himself at his uncharacteristic outburst—because that counted as an outburst to him—Sasuke schooled his expression into his usual indifference. His thoughts were far from indifferent, though.

"You are aware of my status," Sasuke replied, "as you are of his. I'm in the best position to—" he almost said _'take care of him'_ before he caught himself, "—watch over him."

"... You know you don't have to, ne?" Sakura said after a pause. Sasuke saw the way Suigetsu flinched at her next words. "You just—met a few days ago, and I'm sure you'd ra—"

"Sakura," Sasuke cut in calmly. Calmly or he would start punching her face in at the sheer anger he felt at her false words, at how she pretended that he and Naruto had never met before, at how she was willing to play him despite what they had become to each other over the years. Haruno Sakura was the last person he expected to lie to him and it left an acrid taste in his mouth.

Betrayal. Sasuke never thought he'd feel it again after so long, he almost forgot the bitterness of its sting.

"It wasn't the first time we met."

He watched with dark amusement as green eyes stilled, freezing like grass under the merciless assault of ice. Suddenly her eyes were shining like mirrors, reflecting her relief, her despair, her fear, her joy. Bright with emotions, with unhindered truth, bright like spun glass touched by the sun.

_But his eyes were always the brightest._

"I'd be off," Suigetsu said quietly, shattering the silence. His eyes were solemn as he addressed the two. "I've no idea what happened and I don't understand anything but I think, as much of an asshole he is, Sasuke deserves the truth. Maybe not from you, Sakura, and maybe not from Naruto, but maybe someone can at least tell him why," he jabbed his thumb to the silent Sasuke's direction, "you have to hide it from him?"

"Suigetsu," Sakura said, sighing softly, "it's not mine to tell. It's not yours either. And really, I was Sasuke-kun's teammate. I know what I'm talking about."

"I don't go around bragging it but I was his teammate too," Suigetsu retorted. He instinctively ducked when a pink eyebrow twitched. When the expected punch didn't come, Suigetsu went on. "Well here's my truth, Sasuke. Ten years ago, Naruto asked us not to influence your decision on where you'd live in exchange of the reconstruction of Oto. Karin agreed because she thought that after everything you learned about Konoha, there's no way in hell you'd choose to stay here."

Purple eyes looked directly into surprised dark ones. "We still wonder why you did. But I guess—" he looked up, squinting his eyes against the purity of the sky, "I guess I know now."

He looked back at Sasuke and Sakura, flashing sharp white teeth as he placed a wad of bills on the counter. "Everything's on me. Consider it thanks ten years late."

With a last rap on the counter, Houzuki Suigetsu, whistling a merry tune, left the silence of two Konoha ninja in his wake.

"Please come again!"

The tense silence was broken ten minutes later when Sasuke turned to Sakura, a thought resurfacing in his mind. He hadn't asked Suigetsu as he wasn't thrilled with the idea of the Oto nin knowing more than he did, even over clearly inconsequential things. He also had this strange inkling that Suigetsu would cackle over his lack of information.

Besides, Kakashi did tell him—

"How do you knock up an _uke_?" Sasuke asked. At a sharp intake of breath, he suddenly remembered something else. "And what's _yaoi_?"

Sakura choked on her tea.


	21. Chapter 18

**The Sky**

_by Hic Iacet Mori_

* * *

**Chapter 18**

Sasuke left Ichiraku in an enlightened frame of mind.

_"... do you know that they're planning to make a yaoi version of the movie? I'm thinking of bringing Sakura with us, I'm sure she'd love it!_

And with the desire _to kill Kakashi_.

_"Didn't take you for the uke, Sas**uke**."_

That _man_ could have simply explained that _seme _and _uke_ had drastically different meanings to him and his perverted ilk, including those _yaoi_ fan girls, a form of fan girls he hadn't known before to exist. But then again, that was giving him too much credit—this was _Hatake Kakashi _after all, unarguably one of the most ruthless shinobi of Konoha in the battlefield and especially out of it—Kakashi _had_ to be an ass when he could get away with it lest he died from an influx of morality.

So perhaps, it was logical somewhere in his twisted soul to force the last Uchiha to endure two hours of lecture on the glories of yaoi from _Sakura_, who wouldn't stop blushing and getting all starry-eyed as she waxed poetic over her clearly not-so-secret obsession. A lot of the drivel she had explained—rather _orated passionately over—_where unnecessary as well, not to mention revoltingly flowery as Sasuke, a distinguished ANBU captain for seven years running, was fully aware of the existence of homosexual relationships and its activities. Sexual activities, to be more precise. Simply because, oh yes, he was part of the ANBU.

Sasuke almost grimaced, then inwardly winced. Better this than the horrible heat in his ears, he thought grudgingly. Sakura _was_ rather graphic—

He had countless assassination missions in the past that required him to finish off a mark when he or she least expected it—unfortunately for him, this mostly occurred after the marks had sex. In some ways it was somewhat a concession—the marks would be dead in a moment after all. Let them have this final carnal hurrah. He could be generous too.

But with this, Sasuke had become a forced watcher of these intimate and often illicit moments, a reluctant voyeur to these unintentionally educational trysts. He had marks who preferred the opposite sex. Marks who preferred the same sex. Marks who thrived on both sexes. Marks who enjoyed multiple partners. Then there were those obsessed with perfumed whores or addicted to nubile virgins. There were even some with imaginative lovers who could make Kakashi look like a virginal schoolboy, not that Sasuke was in anyway aware of the jounin's sexual life—mere thought alone made him want to punch someone's throat in. Even his own.

He frowned. And then, there were those who preferred children—marks who so sickened him that Sasuke made sure they die much more slowly, much more painfully. Those revolting marks had no business existing at all.

He also learned another thing: he wasn't very much interested in any form of sexual pursuit. He had sex on the rare times that even training couldn't soothe him, true, but that was just about it. There hadn't been any of the pleasure he had seen his marks derive from it, and Sasuke had simply classified sex as a normal human activity at par with soaking in a tub or taking a nap—needed once in a while but not entirely necessary to live. It wasn't even in the league of defecating, in his opinion. He wouldn't die if he missed out on sex.

Sex was also a messy affair. While killing in itself was a messy preoccupation, at least he only had himself to clean up at the end of the day. It also helped that a corpse had no expectations from him—even the geisha provided specifically for the ANBU, for its members who needed to de-stress and get in touch with humanity after a particularly grueling mission, expected a measure of affection after sexual intercourse. And while a few of them were admittedly physically arousing enough for one more round or two, once was enough for him—Sasuke much preferred sleep, anyway.

Experience showed, however, that while he believed sleep was the appropriate response post-coitus, women had something else in mind, something involving unnecessary shows of affection. Something irksome. And the last time someone acted on it by cuddling with him as he slept, his reflex almost killed the naked woman by asphyxiation.

That's why a few ANBU chose to lie down with men, not counting the female members—a man understood the _no-strings-attached_ way of life. However, Sasuke couldn't compel himself to sleep with another man. He just couldn't imagine it, it was too bizarre. He couldn't even find _himself_ arousing—what else of another man?

Sasuke knew he would need to have sex for procreation, true, but he would rather abstain from it completely rather than raise a child in a family that would never be enough for him. Growing up with a father who hardly took notice of him, Sasuke wanted to pamper his child with the love and attention he hadn't received. He knew he could never do it, though—not now, not ever, if he would always be looking for what wasn't there.

The sky—it ruined him.

If only he could understand, understand what he really wanted—then perhaps he could find that woman to be the mother of his children. Perhaps he could finally pass on the legacy of his name. Not the Sharingan, no—he'd make sure it never appeared in the next generation again. The mere thought of another of his blood experiencing what he and Itachi had gone through sickened him. But the Uchiha name must live on, at least, and for that he needed a wife.

These thoughts settled uncomfortably in his mind. It somehow felt like—felt like he was betraying someone.

With a mental sigh at his thoughts, Sasuke glanced beside him, easily getting back in touch with reality. Beside him was Sakura, who had offered to accompany him to where she last left Naruto with Kakashi. Sasuke had silently accepted the offer—if ten years were any indication, it wasn't easy to find his best friend. Especially with the other's chakra still concealed completely.

_That chakra..._

His breath caught, his throat tightening. Naruto's chakra in the ANBU headquarters was _powerful_. So powerful it alerted all the ANBU in its immediate vicinity, so powerful it made the hair on his nape rise in excitement. It was more than powerful, it was_ intoxicating_, reminding him of the time he was trapped inside a wine cellar with the barrels of wine emitting fumes from their unsealed covers. The lightness in his head, though, had been_ nothing_ compared to the daze he had felt at Naruto's chakra. _Drunk with power_ had come into his mind, and Sasuke didn't mind being drunk off a power like that.

The thought of sparring with Naruto excited him so much. He had never felt this excited before. But—

_Something's missing_.

He inwardly frowned, his thoughts not even breaking the surface of his indifferent expression. Somehow, Naruto's chakra felt _lacking—_it was missing something he felt deep inside him was supposed to be there. But Hyuuga's expression hadn't changed at all, nor did the retard's—these people who knew and remembered Naruto hadn't felt anything out of the ordinary at all. But he couldn't just let go of this feeling—

_I'd challenge him to a spar and get to the bottom of this_, he decided. The spike of thrill that jolted up his spine almost broke his composure—could Sasuke be so excited over a planned spar that mere thought of it could cause tremors to rise out of him? Even the hands inside his pockets were beginning to shake—as if it was all they could do to finally mark that slim body with his fists, slide his fingers on that brown skin, feel that smooth, graceful slope of tan neck stretching to broad shoulders—

_Shit_.

As if sensing his sudden distress, Sakura glanced up at him.

"Sasuke-kun?"

He automatically grunted, not a hint of the despairing turn of his thoughts manifesting on his face. He had been successful at _not_ thinking of such things about Naruto, so what was he _doing_ failing in the one thing he was good at these past couple of days? He didn't _want_ to think of Uzumaki Naruto that way. His mind was already too worked up at his missing memories. Anything beyond was just insanity—he didn't want his body getting worked up—

Damn. _Damn._ Naruto was a _man_. Like _him_. Sasuke shouldn't be thinking of his hair or his whiskers or his shoulders or his back or his skin or his hands or his naked body inside his showe—

_Fuck!_

He swallowed, his mouth drying up. Had he felt like this for Naruto, before? Had he wanted to soak in the other man's scent? Run his fingers through the messy golden hair? Rub his hands all over that still-unseen body? Lick every inch of that glowing skin to confirm if it tasted like maple syr—?

_Fucking damn it damn it damn it_—

"Sasuke-kun, you can tell me," Sakura quietly said. Her voice, barely above a whisper, shattered the seemingly endless silence of the afternoon, piercing through the disturbing and illogical thoughts he had unwittingly unburied somehow. He briefly closed his eyes and shook his head, unwilling even to glance at her lest she get even a notion of his illicit thoughts—his self-control may be nigh impeccable but Sakura had grown to be a perceptive woman like her sensei, and her eyes that could seek the cause of physical pain had learned to plumb the cause of emotional discomfort.

Besides, as much as Sasuke was beginning to entertain the thought that he _may_ be physically attracted—and how was it possible to lust after a body he hadn't even _seen?_—to the best friend he never knew he had, he wasn't ready to admit it vocally into existence. It was too much to fathom. Just minutes ago he was telling himself that he couldn't be attracted to another man too.

Shit. What a mess.

... Then there was also the fear, spreading so slowly beneath his skin, that it may not be just attraction after all.

"Tch."

Her disappointment was palpable, her disapproval tangible, as they resumed their silent walk. Sasuke focused his attention on anything he could think of that wasn't related to frustrating blonds, finally dwelling on weapons he had been planning to have Hyuuga Tenten forge for him. A simple set of double-edged kunai, nothing fancy, strapped in a bandoleer he could wrap around his torso. He couldn't have too much of small weapons, right?

Besides—his eyes darkened—had he possessed those double-edged kunai, he could have attacked the retard with them instead of relying on his summoned projectiles. It galled him to resort to that. Yes, he could have engaged Sai in pure taijutsu, but Sasuke couldn't bear the idea of actually _touching_ the idiot so he resorted to weapon taijutsu. Just thinking of his fist connecting to that pasty face was making shivers of disgust crawl in his skin.

Thinking of that bloody retard only soured his mood.

"He's still there," Sakura murmured beside him. Sasuke glanced ahead and confirmed what the nerves in his feet had been telling his brain—they were headed to a destination he knew. Somehow, it didn't surprise him. He should have guessed that Kakashi would be there.

In the park.

Hatake Kakashi was sitting on a beaten swing, his book conspicuously absent, his eye staring at a world none of them could traverse. Around him were children in various games, all running and yelling, yet none of them seemed to impinge the bubble that Kakashi with his mere presence had set up. Sasuke quietly walked to him, respecting the silence—Sakura followed behind with equally silent footsteps, green eyes waiting with a patience he knew he could never possess. This tableau before him of a lonely jounin against the afternoon sun suddenly made him pause.

Sasuke was disconcerted at a thought that intruded in his mind.

_Kakashi's getting old._

Of course he knew this, understood on a level that remembered how to tie knots and shoelaces, the same level that recognized the difference between blue and green without actively thinking about it. It was a fact so easily seen it wasn't noticed at all. But now, seeing the silver-haired man, his former sensei, with his shoulders slightly hunched as he gazed at a distance far, Sasuke was struck at how much years had passed him by. When did this happen? When did his former mentor age?

Against the late afternoon sun, against the surreal echo of the children's laughter, Kakashi looked like he was basking in the sunset of his years. As if he had retired from active duty already, now simply enjoying the fruits of a fortunately longer life span. As if he hadn't been a shinobi at all, even, just a civilian that shinobi like Sasuke had sworn to protect. As if this was the first time Sasuke was seeing him.

As if he didn't know Hatake Kakashi at all.

And maybe he never really did. Kakashi was and always will be a paradox to Sasuke. He hardly understood the motives behind Kakashi's actions, and his actions were more often mysterious even after explained outright. Perhaps that's how it was with true genii—no one could truly understand them because people understood by their judgment, and people could only pass judgment through the actions they could see. But how do you explain actions that never made sense despite being seen over and over again?

Just as no one truly understood Sasuke, no one truly understood Kakashi too.

_"Know something else?"_

Just as no one truly understood Itachi—not even him.

_"I just thought, if the ultimate shinobi is a leaf_—_"_

But was it possible that someone did? Was it possible that someone understood Itachi?

_"_—_Itachi would be a tree. Na?" _

Kakashi?

_"Even in your dream..." _

Him?

_"... it's only him who can protect you_—_"_

Was it possible that Naruto did?

_"_—_the only bond you'd accept."_

He bit on his bottom lip, the inexplicable need to scream clawing at his throat. He could feel hot tears suddenly stinging in his eyes and Sasuke took a deep breath—confused, frustrated—as he sought to will the powerful grief that washed over him back into nothingness.

_"He's the only person you'd let protect you."_

But it clenched in his chest, this grief, spreading in his blood with every pumping of his heart, intensifying the ache until he hurt within, without—until all he knew, in that moment, was deep, searing, indescribable pain.

_"The only one you'd live for."_

In that moment on an afternoon inside the crowded children's park, the only truth in Sasuke's world was pain.

_"Na, Sasuke?"_

He clamped down his mouth, clamped harder down on his grief, the feelings of betrayal and loss and acceptance and defeat keening under the weight of his pain. The hands inside his pockets were shaking—it was the world shaken to its core, shifting with every tremor, every quiver, shuddering with the force of unseen truths and seen lies. He clenched his jaw, forced his mouth in its resolute straight line, adamantly refused its desire to pull down because once it did, even in accident, a quiet sob would slip out and his eyes would follow and there would be tears slipping out and he wouldn't know why and he wouldn't stop breaking for a long, long time.

_It's not like that, it's not true._

But he was more afraid that, after breaking, he would never be whole again.

_I'm sorry, I'm sorry._

Because the only person who could rebuild him would never be there.

_I didn't want to hurt you_—

"Sasuke-kun?"

He glanced up, his eyes empty, his turmoil wiped clean off his face until even the blankness was gone, until there was nothing but the endlessness of void. Sakura reached up and touched his shoulder—Sasuke allowed her to give him the small comfort her instincts had sensed he needed. Kakashi's eyes were unreadable and he suspected that the other man understood, somehow, understood even when Sasuke himself didn't.

"Do you want to talk about it?"

He grunted indifferently. Surprisingly, everything felt normal again. He wasn't even sure if the deep sorrow he felt earlier was real anymore.

Was it possible to hallucinate a feeling?

"Sensei, where's Naruto?" Sakura asked, breaking the odd silence that had settled between them. Kakashi shifted and suddenly, here was the jounin Sasuke was familiar with.

"The boys wore him out," Kakashi replied. _Boys? _"They're quite a handful. A curious lot too."

The amused spark in the gray eye didn't please him.

Sakura rolled her eyes. "Kakashi-sensei."

"Maa, maa." Kakashi waved a hand with cheery carelessness. His features immediately turned somber, however. "He went there."

Sakura nodded, green eyes softening. Sasuke stared blankly.

Kakashi nodded back and resumed gazing at the distance. Sakura tilted her head to the right and Sasuke's eyes narrowed, unwilling to be left in the dark but understanding he'd be left there a little bit longer. Displeasure clear, he grunted a permission to leave as Sakura's more upbeat farewell covered his. Kakashi waved back without looking at them and the two left the jounin in his silent corner in the noisy park.

The path was familiar.

He frowned. It was more than familiar, though—it was the path so plain and so far it was rarely used, a path rolling with dusts and sweat and weeds. It was a path few ever remembered to exist.

It was the path paved with his lonely footsteps and dreams.

Every step crashed into his chest, a loud clanging of cymbals that echoed in his ears. He remembered his father. He remembered his fireball. He remembered longing to please, he remembered yearning approval.

He remembered sorrow and rage. Pain, pain, pain. He remembered the reflection in the water. The vow of vengeance.

He remembered Itachi.

And then, he remembered, with clarity as stunning as lightning splitting the dark skies—

_Loneliness._

Beside him Sakura slowed to a stop, her green eyes looking ahead. He followed her gaze when she remained silent. His heart pounded in his chest—near yet far was a familiar dock with a very familiar person sitting upon it.

Naruto.

She raised an arm and pointed to a cluster of trees on its far right, just by the edges of the calm afternoon water. It was a part of the dense forest of the village, and though he had been by the docks a number of times when he was younger, he hardly paid any attention to it. His attention had always been on the blue waters and the reflections it brought him.

"I used to watch you here," she said after a long silence. He raised an eyebrow in surprise, turning to her in an unspoken urge to go on. Sakura obliged with a half-smile. "Those trees over there? It connects to the meadow Ino and I used to play in. When we became friends, she brought me there as one of our secret hideouts.

"I was waiting for Ino one day and I got bored," she went on. "I began walking around—looking for exotic flowers I can show her—when I came out of those trees and saw you, sitting on that dock." She turned to him, her eyes wistful and sad. "You were—so lonely, Sasuke-kun. I was hiding from one of the trees and you looked so lonely and I wanted to—wanted to make you smile so bad."

She shook her head, a rueful look in her eyes. "But I couldn't approach you. My forehead's too big." Her lips quirked. "And the club Ino founded is for girls only. We even named it _Hana to Yume_, after our favorite magazine." She laughed softly and he couldn't stop a little smirk from forming in his lips. They may be training to be assassins but they were such kids back then, too.

He hadn't been a kid for long, however.

"I really wanted to, though," Sakura continued, turning serious once again. "So I hid behind those trees every day, just waiting to get the courage to approach you while waiting for Ino. I kept telling myself that I'd be like Ino, I'd be brave and come to you and make you smile and offer you a flower, say all those smart things that would make you feel better about yourself. But I couldn't see anything wrong in you. Just that—you're really sad and I didn't know why. I thought maybe it's your hair," she laughed lightly and he frowned, "but I liked it so I thought maybe I'm wrong.

"I began to watch you in school," she went on. "You were so quiet and smart and cool and you're like a real ninja already. You're so—so wonderful, Sasuke-kun." She sighed and shook her head. "But you don't smile. You don't look sad but you don't smile either. It made me want to make you smile all the more.

"Then one afternoon, Ino said she couldn't come. She said her mother needed her help in the shop and I said it's okay. I wanted to watch you, see. I've been pretending for a long time and I pretended again that I'm walking to you, saying really cool things and making you smile. I liked pretending about those thing. Then—" her eyes landed on the figure on the dock, her eyes softening, "—_he_ came along."

Dark eyes widened.

"I didn't recognize him, at first," she said, her tone self-reproaching. "He looked so different, somehow. I had to stare a long time before I did." She closed her eyes briefly. "And then, I did. He's the boy in the class the teachers didn't like. He's the one pulling pranks and he's the one our classmates were always making fun of. And he's the boy who's always talking, cracking stupid jokes and just being an annoying pest." Her eyes opened, bright with deep emotions. "I didn't recognize him because he looked like—like any other kid, except he was alone."

_"Who are you?"_

"He was walking, right here where we are now. Then he was slowing down until he stopped, looking down at the dock, at you, and he looked so—" tears sparkled within her eyes, "—he looked so _sad_, looked so sad because you're alone and sad like _he _was. He was looking at you with this—this longing—this _expression_ I couldn't understand because he's just a kid like me and he shouldn't have it. It made me want to cry, the first time I saw it."

_"That kinda hurt, y'know."_

"Thinking about it still breaks my heart," Sakura whispered.

_It's him._

She wiped her eyes with the back of her hand, her smile tremulous. "And then, as if you knew he was there, you glanced behind and suddenly, both of you... didn't look so sad anymore," she said, her voice with slight awe. "You glared at each other for a long time and then you both turned away. He walked away and you looked down at the waters and then—" her eyes rose, misty and beautiful, the first spring wonder, "—you _smiled_."

_That boy in my dream, that Naruto_—

"It's one of the most beautiful things I've ever seen."

_It's him._

Sakura shook her head, a half-smile on her face. "It made me happy and sad at the same time, your smile. I'm happy you smiled—but I'm sad it wasn't me who made you do it. It made me angry too. Angry at _him_. How could he do it, just look down at you like that and make you smile? It didn't—didn't make any sense." The half-smile slowly disappeared. "I disliked him for a long time because of that. Because he could take your attention away from the waters, make you look less lonely. Because he could make you smile."

And Sasuke remembered those afternoons with the soft glow of memories. Of sitting on the dock and thinking, of remembering, of waiting. Of infinite silence with his eyes to the waters and his ears to the land, anticipating the near-silent shuffling footsteps of a lonely orphan as it slowed down, slower and slower until they stopped behind him, of glancing back and seeing a face that made his blood boil, his hands clench, his eyes glare until the face was glaring back and they were both turning away in boyish disdain, turning on each other's back as the footsteps shuffled away until, a safe distance later, he would glance back and smile because they understood each other somehow, understood that they're alone and they don't need anyone else because they had each other and that was enough.

_"_—_we can be alone together."_

They were lonely orphans alone together and that was enough.

_Naruto_—

"I guess that was the time I started to dislike him," Sakura admitted with a rueful smile. "I started observing you two in class. You didn't even look at each other, like you didn't exist to each other. But here, in this place—"

_Did you feel less lonely?_

"You belong together."

_I did_.

"Then on the day we became a team—" Sakura grinned, her eyes forming dewy crescents, "—you two got into an accident and you became _alive_." Her lower lip trembled, her smile wavering. "And then I knew that he and I would be rivals, even if something inside me whispered that I—that I lost already."

—Accident? Rivals?

"It was so childish of me," Sakura remarked, laughingly shaking her head. "I was so horrible but I couldn't help it. I want to make you smile by myself but you're too focused on that _baka_. Always getting into trouble, always giving some loud speech... I didn't stand a chance." She took a deep breath and sighed. "I've fallen for you, Sasuke-kun, but how could I prove my feelings when that idiot kept interfering? How could I get your attention when it's always on Naruto?"

Always—on _Naruto?_

"That's what I used to think," she admitted. "And then we became closer. We became a team. Friends. Family. And I fell deeper and deeper in love with you." She gave a broken smile. "I fell deeper in love with the you I always see when you're around him."

_When I'm—around him?_

"Even when you left," she continued, her voice catching in her throat, "Even when you kept saying you don't need us anymore... Even when you tried to kill me, us, him... Even after Naruto brought you back... Even after all these years, Sasuke-kun... Even after everything—I still love you."

He froze.

Sakura's smile was watery, her voice wet and thick. "I love you, Sasuke-kun. I believe it won't ever change."

He should—say _something_, right?

"Sakura—"

"But—" She looked afar, eyes liquid and fire, molten amber against the sun-dappled sky, the heart in her smile. "—But, I love him _more._"

Sasuke stopped.

"I didn't think it's possible but I love Naruto more," Sakura whispered, her voice raw. "A part of me would always be yours but—but his place is greater, Sasuke-kun. I'd always choose him over you."

And Sasuke understood. He understood more than he thought he possibly could.

"I'm sorry for lying to you," she murmured. "I just care for him more."

He nodded. He understood.

"Thank you."

Her eyes widened. Softened.

Sasuke was remembering the same thing.

When Sakura leaned up and kissed the corner of his mouth, he leaned down in response and pressed her close in an awkward hug. She replied with a wet, muffled giggle that made Sasuke rethink this hugging-thing. He raised his eyes and began to step back, an annoyed scowl covering up his slight embarrassment. He's really not fond of touching.

He paused.

"Sasuke-kun?"

There's another person on the dock.

"What is it?"

His lips tightened. His eyes could easily read the words formed by the pale mouth.

**_"I'll always carry you."_**

Sasuke took a step forward. Two. More until he was walking, walking fast, walking faster, a perplexed Sakura matching his seething long strides. Until he was close to running the sinister distance to pry his best friend off that retarded asshole's back smiling with the truest smile he had ever seen.

**_"Thanks, Sai."_**


	22. Chapter 19

**A/N:** This update got longer than expected and I apologize for that. Next update would take a longer time coming as it's Sai's interlude.

Also: I want to thank _naruss_ for nominating _Yours for an Hour_ as best one-shot in the sasunaru awards, and the anonymous person who nominated _The Sky_ for best angst (tell me who you are, I want to thank you in person^^). A shoutout to _Twilight Canvas_ too, who first nominated _His Christmas Angel_ for best happy ending (it's sasufem!naru and disqualified but I'm so giddy because it's my first ever nomination ^_^). I seriously can't believe anyone would nominate any of my stories and I'm really bloody grateful, and even if the stories fail to win or even just fail to pass, I'm happy enough that they got nominated in the first place. Really, truly, happy.

It's a great honor you have given to me. Thank you very much. ^_^

Onto the story. We're getting there!

* * *

**The Sky**

_by Hic Iacet Mori_

* * *

**Chapter 19**

"Uchiha."

Sasuke took another step forward. He ignored the banal greeting, finding it unacceptable to greet the asshole flashing that false smile—there was something intrinsically _nauseating_ at this vision before him, of this repulsive spectacle of Uzumaki Naruto on Sai's back with the setting sun behind them, limning them as one in the eyes of those who pass by. Unkempt strands of darkened yellow formed a trellis of burnished gold on the retard's right shoulder, the longest reaching Sai's covered stomach. Cloaked arms hang loosely around the retard's neck, crisscrossing over his chest in a child's embrace, unconsciously forming the symbol that marks the goal in a faded treasure map. Pale arms were looped behind to carry the other's full weight—on either side of Sai's hips were Naruto's clothed thighs, flesh pressed intimately against each other like hands clasped together, like lips pressed together.

Like bodies twined around each other under shadows and moonlight.

"What happened?" he asked, softly. The deadly chill in his eyes uttered his true words. The relaxed way he held himself was of a ravenous wolf, feigning sleep in a dangerous trap. One misstep—

Sakura appeared before him, half of her body standing between him and Sai. Sasuke could read the message conveyed by her body. "Sasuke-kun, Naruto's fine," she answered for Sai, her voice purposefully light. "It's their thing. There's nothing you have to worry about."

His eyes narrowed. Their _thing?_

Sakura obviously thought Sasuke had _assumed_ that Sai did something to Naruto, and the narrowing of his eyes seemed to make her think that he didn't buy her explanation. She hastily raised her hands in a defensive motion. "Naruto likes dozing off on his back," she added. "There's _really_ nothing to think about."

Oh, but there _was_.

"If he's tired," Sasuke said, lips tight, "then he should have gone _home_."

Sai gave him a pleasant smile. Sasuke wanted to drown him until even his _soul_ was gasping. "That is why I'm carrying dickless," Sai said. "He asked me to."

He took another step closer. Sakura backed up, her motion inadvertently pushing Sai back as well. Sasuke realized that he wasn't doing a good job of hiding how much he _disliked_ the retarded asshole right now.

His voice came out in the quiet echo of thunder.

"Give him to me."

Sakura's green eyes were troubled. "Sasuke-ku—"

He reached forward. "_I_ will bring him home."

"He's tired, he's not sleeping well, ne?" Sakura rushed in, alarm tinting her eyes a deep troubled green. "Look at him. He's tired, Sai can take care of him. He won't hurt Naruto."

But Sasuke couldn't see the logic in her words—he could only see Sai standing behind Sakura, Naruto on his back with the setting sun casting their shadows as one entity. The sight twisted inside him into something dark and unfamiliar, arousing a strange hatred for the paler man with features whispered to be like his. Only pride kept Sasuke from attacking Sai outright—it still galled him that he had lost enough hold of himself yesterday as to attack the other man in broad daylight outside a ramen stand. In his concept of emotions, Sasuke deemed Sai worthy only of his apathy.

Sakura's last statement didn't help at all too—while it lessened the bitterness that flared up with the presence of Sai, it intensified a pain in his chest that had been festering since last night. Sasuke could clearly hear what Sakura had inadvertently implied—he _had _hurt Naruto before. He _had_ shoved a _Chidori_ in the other's chest.

Sai _hadn't. _

Worse, what he heard was this: Sasuke would hurt Naruto, would continue to do so in the future—

Sai wouldn't.

_You're all damned wrong._

Sasuke darted forward, a maelstrom of black emotions controlling his hand. His eyes could see nothing but a light stolen from his reach—he grasped for it with the raw desperation of a famished child hungering for stale bread, and he would have ripped his goal from that detestable grip had a strong hand not shot out to grab his.

He glanced down, his vision verging on crimson.

_Sakura_.

Her eyes held the remnants of her teary confession but they added to the fiery determination they held within. Defiance screamed in the clenching of her jaw and the narrowing of her eyes—there was nothing soft with Haruno Sakura in that moment, and Sasuke was reminded by a purposeful tightening on his wrist that she was no ordinary kunoichi either. She was the apprentice of Tsunade, remnant of _Densetsu no Sannin_, and she could level the ground with a relatively careless punch. She could easily crush his wrist if provoked—she had chosen her allegiance a long time ago and it was not to him.

But Sasuke was no ordinary shinobi either. He was an _Uchiha_. The last in existence.

He was Uchiha _Sasuke_.

"Unhand me."

Sakura's grip wavered but didn't let go.

"Ugly," Sai calmly interrupted. "Your corpulent build is blocking my way. As does your effeminate figure, Uchiha."

Crimson eyes immediately transferred to the other man, any trace of indifferent ebony gone as hatred flickered stronger. His hand was suddenly released when Sakura, with an indignant yell, swiftly turned around to punch the smiling retard. Sai caught the furious fist with a small grunt, the force causing him to slide a few steps farther before he caught himself, his hand closing on the trembling fist.

_"Even when I force myself to smile, it seems I'm the type of person who ends up being hated."_

Sai looked up with another suspicious smile. "Why, Ug—" and blinked, surprised, suddenly seeing Sakura's tearstained face. The smile vanished from his face as he glanced ahead, his features empty of expression. His posture shifted, his stance bored yet threatening. "What did you do to her?" he asked pleasantly.

_"And Naruto-kun didn't seem to care much for me the whole time too."_

The three tomoe in his eyes began a lazy spin.

_"But you know, in comparison to Naruto-kun, I think I'm going to be able to get along better with you."_

"Sai, shut up," Sakura interjected tiredly, straightening up to wipe her face with her hand. "It's nothing. Nothing's wrong. Get that?" she asked, turning to the two shinobi who were as different as their features were similar. "_Nothing._ Nothing at all."

**_"I don't care to deal with trash like him."_**

Sai gave her a long look and nodded. He stepped around her, unbothered by his load. He was leaving.

_"Naruto-kun told me quite a bit about you."_

Sasuke's arm shot out to his left, blocking the exit. His eyes glowed like fire as their crimson depths reflected the sunset, the anger overcoming the shock at memories resurfacing in his mind—memories he didn't know he had, memories with _Sai_, of all people.

_"It seems he's been looking for you all this time."_

"I suppose you desire to play limbo rock," Sai commented with his smile that irritated Sasuke a lot. "However, Naruto-kun is tired and it's best if he lies in bed. Let's play another time, shall we?"

_"For the last three years."_

The arm shot forward and grabbed Sai by his collar. The black tomoe spun faster, the red more vivid against a face white with controlled fury. Only the quiet space in his mind that kept reminding him that his best friend was on the asshole's back stopped him from throttling said asshole and hurtling him to the waters.

**_"Oh yeah, I guess. I do remember someone like that."_**

"You talk too much," Sasuke murmured. His hold tightened, the collar bunching in his hand until Sai was nearly strangled. "Give him to me. He's with me."

_"Naruto-kun considers you..."_

Sai's mouth lifted. "You sound the part of a caring friend, little homo. How many books did it take you?"

_"... he considers you to be almost his own true brother."_

Sasuke had Sai dangling on air in the space of a heartbeat. Sakura gasped. Sasuke squeezed the neck tighter. Sai's smile remained, his hands still behind him, still hefting the precious weight and never letting go.

_"That's what I heard from Sakura-san."_

Naruto stirred.

_Let go, damn you._

"You're really all noisy, y'know that?"

Sasuke faltered.

The blond head raised from its comfortable perch beneath the back of Sai's neck, the same neck Sasuke was severely biting the urge to break by the skin of his teeth. Naruto tilted his head up, turning to where he stood. The flash of silver distracted him.

It was he who let go.

"Sakura-chan, Sasuke-san," Naruto greeted in a thick voice. Sleep enunciated every syllable of his words. Sasuke frowned in concern and his hand unconsciously uncurled. He noted changes he should have noticed even before Sakura mentioned them—there was a pale tinge to Naruto's skin, casting a surreal quality on his being. The tan was still there but it was more translucent, somehow, fragile and ephemeral. If he could see those eyes, Sasuke thought, there would probably be dark circles beneath them, adding to his subdued appearance.

_"**Naruto**. He's paler than yesterday and he's pale enough already... He's weak, Sasuke-kun, weak from lack of sleep. I don't think he's getting enough rest."_

And his hatred grew, this time at himself. How, really, had he failed to notice it? Had he been so wrapped up in uncovering his hidden memories, the mystery that was Naruto, that he neglected to take care of the person himself? What kind of a host was he? For that matter, what kind of an ANBU captain was he to overlook such detail from the most important person in the village right now?

The most important person in the village to _him_?

Sasuke's breath hitched. When had Naruto become important to him? Was it when he learned that they shared a history together? That Naruto did everything he could to give Sasuke another chance? Was it because of a sense of gratitude he couldn't begin to express? Or the missing link he didn't know he was looking for in Naruto?

But—But even before those things—even when he was just learning about this _'female'_ successor Naruto had started to matter to him...

"They're trying to prove who has the deeper bond, dickless," Sai suggested. Sasuke finally allowed himself to glare, releasing the retard. Sakura flinched, stricken by the casually-spoken words. He frowned, not understanding at all.

Sakura was holding herself a little too stiffly, though, her head bowed with pink strands covering her eyes. A motion of the breeze lifted her bangs and Sasuke's brows pinched in consternation. Her eyes were glazing with tears.

He turned to Sai, glowering. He didn't like seeing Sakura this way. His glower intensified. _Especially_ by this retard's doing, who was currently looking back with this dumb quizzical stare like he didn't know a damned thing. Which was true, the utter imbecile.

How could anyone stand this moron?

Naruto shattered the tense silence. "You're a real unfeeling asshole," he said, his tone flat and colder than Sasuke had ever heard. Sai, listening carefully, blinked. "I thought you've changed."

A strange expression—contrition? bewilderment? regret?—flashed over the usually blank façade of his fellow ANBU. His eyes squinted as he smiled, considerably more sincere yet so strangely bereft. "I did, Naruto-kun. It's not my wish to make you doubt me." He turned back slightly and, to Sasuke's surprise, lifted a pale hand and placed it over Sakura's bowed head in a clear affectionate gesture. "I apologize, Sakura. It's not my intention to hurt you. I won't do it again."

Naruto nodded in approval. "And?" he prompted.

Sai's mouth tightened in concentration until, barely five seconds later, he nodded back with his face lit with understanding. "Let me make it up to you."

Sakura's head shot up, an evil grin on her face stealing attention from her moist eyes. "No taking back, Sai-_baka_," she demanded, clearing her throat when her voice cracked, her eyes dancing with spring devilry. "Treat me to the new Princess Fuun movie! Premiere night!"

Sasuke blinked. And frowned when Naruto perked up behind Sai. "There's a new Princess Fuun movie? Na, why didn't Koyuki tell me? Is it still her?" When Sakura nodded cheerfully, Naruto cheered. "Yosh! Me too me too!"

"Are you asking me out, dickless?" Sai inquired.

"Fuck you!"

It was definitely a smirk. "Is that an offer?"

"Ewwww, no way!" Naruto protested loudly before grinning. "I'm not all about making your fantasies come true, pervert."

"It's hard to fulfill another's fantasy if your own fantasy of a dick is always out of your reach," Sai remarked with a thoughtful frown. Sakura snorted and, encouraged, Sai went on. "Literally and figuratively, of course."

"Fuck _you!_" Naruto yelled. "And Sakura-chaaa_aan_, why're you laughing?"

"I'm—I'm not."

"Lying liar!"

Sasuke growled, the low rumbling sound halting the laughter surrounding the three. He didn't like this. He didn't like this at all. How dare they—How _dare_ they act like _friends_ with a world of their own? How dare they stand together and _laugh_, and _tease_, and _smile_, while he stood before them with bitterness flooding his mouth, a mere bystander to the proof of their closeness? How dare they flaunt their bond when he couldn't remember _his?_

_"I hate you."_

His fists clenched.

_"You and your useless bonds." _

His body shook.

_"I hate you."_

His eyes raised up, a red glare full of hate.

Sakura gasped, stunned, and Sai took an unconscious step back with another false smile. Naruto stiffened. Sasuke, roused to where he was, took a deep burst of breath, exhaling and releasing the wave of dark emotions that crashed into him out of nowhere. He felt drained, a lightness in his head closing his eyes for a moment.

_What was that?_

He didn't budge an inch when a cool, albeit tentative, touch of chakra flowed in his temple. Then, he opened his eyes and gave a nod of gratitude to his pink-haired friend for alleviating the strange pain. She gave an uncertain smile back.

"Let's go, guys," Naruto murmured over Sai's shoulder. Sasuke's dark eyes lingered on his best friend for a moment, frustrated and seeking, before turning around and making his way back to the path. Sakura fell in step beside him and he sensed, behind him, Sai following with Naruto still carried on his back.

He wanted to—wanted to hurt _something_. _Anything_ that could ease this rolling ball of black anger that kept growing and growing. It was beginning to climb up his throat to suffocate him.

Naruto didn't even come down. He just carried on getting a piggyback ride from that vile creature called his replacement. He had been awake the entire time, Sasuke thought, heard the entire thing and didn't even say _anything_. The idiot just carelessly disregarded Sasuke's offer to take him home and chose Sai over _him_.

He _really_ wanted to hurt someone.

"Anou sa, anou sa, I think it's gonna rain," Naruto piped up. He stared moodily ahead, not acknowledging the statement. "I can smell it!"

Sasuke unconsciously sniffed, a couple of times more until he discerned it. Ozone. Subtle yet distinct, harder to detect than petrichor, the earthy scent that comes after the rain. He reflexively braced himself, his mood further darkening. Rain never boded well with him—someone leaves whenever it comes. As far as he was concerned, rain brought nothing but unhappiness.

He blinked. Something just landed on his arm. His brows furrowed at a light coolness on his cheek. Another, and another—

"It's raining!"

Sasuke looked up to the twilight skies. Strange. The dusk was brighter, more brilliant than he expected. It's raining, wasn't it?

"Sai, I want down!"

_Like that time._

"Dickless, I require my arms."

_When I looked down and saw him_—

"Naruto-baka, come back here!"

_His eyes closed, as if he's just sleeping. Or dreaming. _

"It's raining, it's raining!"

_As if we didn't fight._

"Sakura-chan!"

_As if he wasn't trying to stop me._

"Sai-hentai!"

_As if I wasn't leaving._

"Sasuke-san!"

_He was bright too._

He looked up, his eyes hot, completely at odds with the light gentle touch of the cool early evening rain. A distance before him was one Uzumaki Naruto, a delighted smile on his face, the autumn drizzle adding softness to the unforgiving silver that hid his eyes.

_Call me bastard._

"It's raining!"

_You used to, didn't you?_

And because Naruto couldn't see, Sasuke smiled back.

_Is it because I hurt you so much?_

It was really hard to do.

* * *

The light shower ended as swiftly as it came. As Naruto danced and ran his way to the village proper, Sai and Sakura were content to smile and follow at a brisker pace. Sasuke followed slowly behind, a fierce ache burning in his chest as he watched this cheerful man-child, this _boy_, that felt like the truest he had seen of his blond best friend since he arrived in Konoha. Sasuke couldn't tear his eyes off this Naruto—something inside him told him _this_ was how he was_, _how he was _supposed _to be. _This_ was the Naruto in his dream.

_"Oi, bastard."_

And he wondered why. Did Naruto love the rain that much? But why would he? Wasn't it raining the day Sasuke walked away?

_"I miss you, y'know."_

Or—Or was it because the day he walked away was the best day of Naruto's life?

_"To me, this is one of my first bonds."_

He raised a hand to his hair to flick the moisture out of the dark strands—his pale fingers covertly swiped at his right eye, checking for any telltale sign of unwanted moisture that may have been forming without his knowledge. He felt a subdued relief at finding nothing yet it didn't lessen the dark twisting in his stomach. The forming idea that maybe, _maybe_, Naruto was gone from Konoha for ten years because of _him_—that perhaps, _perhaps_, there was nothing between them but an ocean of hatred and betrayal—made his stomach churn violently until bitterness was climbing up his throat, threatening to flood his mouth, choke him.

A small part of his mind—steadfast, stubborn—reminded him quietly of what Naruto had done for him, of the sacrifices he learned was made for his sake. Sasuke clung to these thoughts like a drowning man desperate to come to land, grasping for any thought that would save him from the abyss of dark shadows clinging around his feet. Naruto didn't leave because he hated Sasuke, did he? Because the possibility alone—was painful.

_Warm. _

Sasuke gasped.

_Familiar._

"Hey."

Naruto's hand.

"Sasuke-san, something wrong?"

He looked down in wonder, at his pale wrist trapped inside another hand. Brown. Big. Toughened by battle, by time. Strong and unyielding, awkward yet caring, like a boy who just learned that other boys do cry, that other boys get hurt and need someone to be there for them too.

Warm and familiar.

He pulled back. He was getting too emotional, he couldn't wrap his mind around it.

"Tch."

Naruto nodded and let go. The plummeting sensation Sasuke felt was not from disappointment. It wasn't from anxiety at sensing two pairs of eyes watching him slowly break inside. It wasn't from the hand drawing back from his retreating own, from a person that suddenly seemed far, far away even as Sasuke stood before him, a translucent secret smile washing over him. It wasn't from the sudden consuming fear that threatened to overwhelm him, force him to his knees.

_"Don't leave."_

It wasn't from those things at all.

_"Don't leave_—_!__"_

"Sa—?"

Sasuke grabbed Naruto's wrist and took off, a creature of pure instinct, blindly escaping a dark phantom rousing fears hidden even from himself. He dragged Naruto behind him as they weaved through the busy street, his dilated eyes darting around for the fastest route to his house. He needed to get Naruto home. Sasuke needed to bring him there before he got away!

In his deeply agitated state, Sasuke failed to notice Sakura's anxious glance to a befuddled Sai, or Sakura taking a step forward to follow him, only to pause with a pale hand landing on her arm—there was nothing but the acute need to get fast, to get away.

_Don't leave don't leave don't leave don't lea_—

There was nothing but the sharp need to make Naruto stay.

"Bastard, wait!"

The name stopped him on his tracks.

_He called me_—_!_

He swerved to his right—

**_"Naruto, I'm going to kill you!"_**

—and collided with Naruto.

"Fuck!"

A sharp _crack_ resounded and both men hissed in pain, a ringing sound echoing in its wake. Wincing, Sasuke's hands rose to soothe the pain—he meant to clutch his forehead but, instead, his hands wrapped around his throat and he gagged.

_"My mouth's rotting!"_

A quiet whisper told him there's no accidental kiss.

_"Then on the day we became a team_—_you two got into an accident and you became **alive**."_

Dark eyes blinked, stunned. His vision jolted into focus and saw Uzumaki Naruto before him, solid and pale but still there, still there. There was no distance, no translucence, just a blond in a heavy dark cloak holding his reddened forehead as he cursed—the same blond he had seen falling onto him, caught by his lips in a painful, jarring kiss.

Sasuke was dumbfounded.

_We kissed._

Naruto froze. In a split second he was grinning. "Bastard," Naruto snorted, quite breathless. "Don't have a damned clue what you think hit you but that's my forehead getting comfy with yours. What's the deal with the running, anyway?"

Sasuke sucked in a painful breath. His eyes narrowed in a glare, pressing against the heat suddenly stinging the red-tinted darkness. "You _know_," he hissed between the fraying edges of his control. This was getting too much even for him—this seesaw of feelings, this curved slide of emotions. "Stop pretending, _baka_."

Naruto took a step back, paling further. He stalked forward, his fists clenching, his chest heaving. This should end _now_. "Tell me. Are my memories hidden in exchange for my freedom, _Hokage-sama_?"

Naruto staggered backward. Sasuke's hand shot forward and grabbed a shaking wrist, merciless as he pressed forward. "Is our bond worthless? Did I shackle you?" he rasped out—there was an ache in his throat, spiky and hot— "Was I too pathetic, ha, _usuratonkachi_? It was easy to throw our memories away, wasn't it, pretend you don't know me while I go on without _knowing a damned thing?_"

Naruto was shaking his head as he tugged his trapped hand back. "Yo—!"

"Whose idea was this?" Sasuke demanded in a whisper. His hold tightened, refusing to let go. "Or are you too scared to tell the truth, _bibiri-kun_?"

_"Are you hurt, bibiri-kun?"_

The lapse of control brought by the sudden flash of memory loosened Sasuke's hold. Naruto immediately seized the chance and his wrist slipped through and, for a fraction of a second, the two stood unmoving before each other, suddenly at a loss on what to do—as if the loss of each other's touch had grounded the world into a halt, as if the stillness it left behind had taken the world's very life.

Amidst a busy world with a life of its own, it was Naruto who recovered quickly.

"Once a bastard's always one, na?" Naruto chuckled. It sounded thick and wet and Sasuke stepped forward—distraught, angry—when Naruto turned to leave—elusive, translucent, the distance coming back— "I-I'll—we... Later we—"

A high-pitched squeal pierced the early evening. Sasuke stared when a yellow and purple blur appeared out of nowhere and latched on an equally-shocked blond. "Naruto Naruto _Naruto!_" it exclaimed, jumping up and down excitedly until it settled down with white arms wrapped around endlessly flowing black. "I can't believe it! You're really home! And what's with the get-up? I know black looks good on you but this is ridiculous! And your eyes, I want to see them! Take off your blindfold and this lumpy black number, I'm _hungry!_"

Naruto burst out in laughter—it sounded relieved in Sasuke's ears and he bit back a snarl at the woman still pressing himself against the idiot. He placed his hands inside his pockets, waiting for the shaking of his hands at the sudden loss of tension to cease until he could bring them out and strangle her. "Where'd you get off doing a hungry lion impersonation, Ino?"

Ino flashed a wicked smile. "You sure you want to know, Na-ru-_to_?" At the clear horror in Naruto's face, Ino giggled. "Still the shy virgin act, ne?" She abruptly leaned back, pale blue eyes critical. "Forehead girl told me you look like a girl. Guess she wasn't kidding. Do you have boobs hidden somewhere?"

"I-_Ino!_"

"Hmm..." Ino's white hands were already roaming the resigned Naruto's torso, Sasuke getting more and more irritated with each gasp of delight and exclamation of wonder. "You're hiding some muscles here, Naruto! _Kyaaa_, this feels nice! I _love_ how hard this is! Ne, ne, it's twitching! Naru_to_, are you _happy_ right now, you bad _bad_ boy?"

Sasuke was aching to grip the ninjato that wasn't there.

"I can't believe this," Sasuke heard Naruto mutter—there was none of the disgust or annoyance he had expected to hear from the other, however. If anything, there was a fondness that left him irked. "Ino, are you seriously feeling me up?" Naruto's head tilted to his left. "Chouji, is your wife seriously feeling me up?"

Sasuke glanced up to Akimichi Chouji approaching them from a familiar establishment, a bag of chips in his hand. "Oi, Naruto. Uchiha," Chouji greeted, eyeing Sasuke cautiously before turning to his wife. "Ino, our table's open."

Ino promptly released the hapless Naruto, who sighed in exaggerated relief. Hearing this, Ino swatted the blond man. "Oh_ you_ stop acting like you didn't enjoy it!" At Naruto's whining protest, she gave a haughty sniff and turned to her husband, who was watching them with mild amusement. "Naruto rejected _meeeee!_" she bawled.

"What's _wrong_ with her?" Naruto asked, clearly disturbed. He winced when Ino swatted him the second time without turning around. "Chouji, is Ino _drunk_?"

Chouji wrapped an arm around the vivacious blonde's shoulders, chuckling while his wife giggled. "You know how she gets when she's happy," he replied. "She's also pregnant."

"Yatta!" Naruto exclaimed. He thumped the larger man on the back. "Congratulations, man! Oi Ino, make sure to have triplets to get even with Shikamaru!"

"What do you take me for, a breeding cow?"

Sasuke grunted his own felicitation and Chouji nodded with an amiable smile. Since the other man earlier declined to accept his payment for the barbecues the other night, Sasuke figured he would just give it back through their child—or children—upon Ino's delivery. This would be Ino's first pregnancy after a marriage of four years— an extravagant gift wouldn't be too questionable.

He really disliked owing people.

"I can hear you ten blocks away, Ino-buta," a voice piped in. Sasuke didn't need to look up to know it was Sakura and Sai, finally catching up with them—if strolling could be called that.

"Speak for yourself, Forehead!" Ino chided, rolling her eyes. "I can _see_ your forehead from ten blocks away!"

"Why yo—!"

"Ino, Akimichi," Sai greeted. Chouji nodded back and Ino returned the greeting with an absentminded hand-wave, still bickering with the pink-haired medic. Sasuke felt his body stiffen when Sai turned to Naruto and him. "Dickless. Uchiha."

Naruto acknowledged Sai with a nod. Sasuke ignored him.

"Why are we conversing in the middle of the street?" Sai asked no one in particular.

Chouji shrugged. "Beats me."

As if seeing Sai's puzzled expression, Naruto sighed. "No, it's not literal."

"Ah."

Sasuke frowned. His annoyance at the two made him grab Naruto's wrist once again, surprising the two women into silence. Chouji's hand paused in mid-swallow and Sai's eyes narrowed. Naruto himself was unmoving, stilled by his apparent shock at how swift the last Uchiha really was.

"We're going home," he said lowly, brooking no opposition with the darkness in his voice. The delicate nuance of his features, inherited from his mother and practically unchanged despite the years, contrasted with the harsh light of warning in his cold, deadly eyes. Sasuke was daring them, Sakura and Sai, daring the two to separate Naruto and him like they did by the dock. His silent threat was palpable.

Judging from their stance, remembering how they came after him, Sasuke realized soon that they had no intention to. The resignation in Sakura's eyes and the muted acceptance in Sai's smile were answers enough. He felt a touch of gratitude for reasons he couldn't identify and he was ready to drag home a blond whispering protests who seemed to have realized what was happening around him. Sasuke couldn't resist a smirk when he observed that Naruto, despite his insistence, wasn't pulling away this time.

He looked up to bid a more polite farewell, pausing when he found Sakura giving him a speculative stare. He raised an eyebrow in question and she shook her head. He inwardly shrugged, nodding instead. It was time for that overdue conversation.

Sasuke realized too late that he should have considered another person.

"No can do, Sasuke-kun," Ino sang out, clutching a cloaked arm to her generous bosom, effectively stopping Sasuke in his tracks. His eyes zeroed in on what appeared to be a possessive hold and a deep snarl reverberated in his throat before he could think of stopping it. Ino seemed unfazed, however—Sasuke wasn't sure if she missed the silent battle of wills between him and Sakura and Sai, or she noticed but just didn't give a damn.

"He just got home and we're having a little get-together," she continued, flicking her pony-tail with a peremptory air. "_Share_," Ino added emphatically.

It was probably the latter.

"No way!" Naruto uttered in a slightly hushed voice.

"Way," Ino countered, winking at Sakura, who gave a strained smile back. She looked up at the former Avenger simmering with anger, her icy blue eyes defiant. "I've already reserved us a table in Ichiraku."

Sasuke glared back, his annoyance clear for the world to see. A movement from his periphery showed Chouji watching them with no bag of chips in sight, a warning not to get physical with his wife. Everyone knew Akimichi had no snowball's chance in hell to overpower him but the warning was there—Akimichi Chouji would protect his pregnant wife from a former S-class missing nin even if it killed him.

"A table in Ichiraku?" came Naruto's confused question. "I don't think we'd all fit there, Ichiraku only has a counter. How 'bout Yakiniku-Q?"

And there's no way in hell Sasuke could drag the idiot back, now. Trust Ino's irritating charm to work—the charm to demand of people just because she knew she could get away with it with a saucy wink and a careless toss of her pony-tailed hair.

"Didn't you know?" Ino asked back, the smugness in her smile absent in her voice. Sasuke wanted to wring her neck for this deceit. "Ichiraku has an adjacent restaurant. Forehead, he doesn't know?"

Of course, there was also the charm of Ichiraku to his ramen-obsessed house guest.

"I didn't know!" Naruto exclaimed. "So that's why I could sense a lot of people!"

Not to say Akimichi Ino was all air—she was a well-balanced kunoichi with a sharp brain under the gloss. She studied the weakness of her prey and used it to her advantage.

"The ramen specials are _really_ good," she practically moaned.

The way she did to the pathetic fools who crossed her in Interrogations.

"Is she having an orgasm?" Sai asked Sakura, breaking their silence with an inquisitive tilt of his mouth. Sakura replied with a slap on her own forehead. Sai was unyielding. "Reaching her climax, then?"

It was no wonder that Interrogations was knocked out of its usual stupor when rumors about the transfer of Yamanaka Inoichi's daughter reached their headquarters.

"Yosh!" Naruto cheered. "Ramen it is, ramen it is!"

That Ino used her knowledge of medical ninjutsu during interrogations was the stuff of legends that made her a favorite of Morino Ibiki, too.

"So Sasuke-kun," Ino said, turning to him with a triumphant smile. Only the thought that she was pregnant stayed Sasuke's twitching hand. "Care to join us? Kiba and the others would be along."

As if realizing he was still holding his wrist, Naruto flinched. Sasuke didn't miss the jump on the blond's pulse, nor the way the other seemed to hold his breath in anticipation. If the idiot thought he could get away, he had another thing coming.

"Of course," Sasuke returned smoothly, inwardly sneering at Ino's look of surprise. That he disliked gatherings was known to his peers—that he disliked being outmaneuvered even more so. If Ino assumed she can separate Naruto from his villainous hands, she had another thing coming.

Naruto, too.

"Usuratonkachi," Sasuke ordered, finally releasing his hold. He knew Naruto would follow.

_"I wasn't lying... when I said_—_" _

There's no way the idiot wouldn't.

_"_—_I'd follow you... to the ends of the earth..."_

Naruto wouldn't risk incurring Ino's ire, would he?

_"... I wasn't lying..."_

The muttered _"Bastard"_ was a small voice within the chaos of his mind.

* * *

The table in the far left erupted into laughter once more. Most of the patrons of the restaurant looked at their corner with part-amusement and part-awe, not a few of those gazes lingering on a shock of yellow hair flashy beneath the dim light. Only a couple deigned to behold their table with annoyance at their antics, to which Sasuke would stare back until they returned quickly to their own meals.

It was enjoyable.

He himself wasn't part of the gaiety, however, opting to watch the life of the gathering as inconspicuously as possible. Uzumaki Naruto was the most alive that Sasuke had seen him, arms rising and hands waving to punctuate a certain word or emphasize a certain action. He enjoyed regaling them with anecdotes of his travels around the Great Countries, telling of marvels he had heard and felt. A well-timed punch line would have Inuzuka Kiba pounding him on the back, and Sasuke wondered in passing if his best friend was sporting a bruise right now.

Kiba, he had irritatingly discovered upon arrival, was Naruto's self-proclaimed best buddy. After guffawing at the way Naruto bumped into every wall that dared to exist in the restaurant, the rowdy jounin had made it his mission to put his arm around the blind idiot and acquaint him with the walls he couldn't stop '_humping_.'

It was stupid.

It made Sasuke realize, though, that Naruto must be intimately familiar with his own house to _not_ bump into anything the first time Sasuke brought him home. It made him wonder immediately after if he himself had brought Naruto ho—he immediately caught himself—to his _home_ before.

And then Hyuuga Hinata was embracing Naruto, her protruded belly not at all hindering her touch from lingering longer than Sasuke thought should be. Their stilted conversation that one time Kakashi brought him to that abominable club flashed in his mind—he arrived to one damning conclusion: Hinata had _feelings_ for Naruto.

Considering the way she blushed, she probably still did.

It was bad enough that Hinata couldn't assume Kiba's name on account of her being the head of her united clan—that she possessed residual feelings for another was probably another blow to Inuzuka's pride.

"Dude, watch those hands!" Kiba yelped, immediately holding his wife protectively to his chest. Hinata automatically leaned into her husband's touch, smiling—Sasuke admitted he may be wrong, what did he know of relationships?—her hand rising to intertwine with his. "Put those chopsticks down, you could stab her!"

Ino cooed at the couple. "I can't believe you could look cute, Kiba."

"He's a paranoid wuss," Naruto remarked, chuckling at Kiba's indignant yell. "Why don't you be like Chouji, man? He wasn't whining when we had barbecue the other night. He knew I won't stab him."

"You," Ino turned to Chouji, who was suddenly appearing very small, "brought _Naruto_ to _Yakiniku-Q?_"

Chouji slowly nodded. The look of sympathy from Hyuuga and his wife were probably little comfort. Shikamaru opened his mouth to yawn.

"What were you _thinking_?" she screeched. Everyone in the table winced, except Nara who was too lazy to, Hyuuga who was too proud to, and Sasuke who was used to worse. "Of course, _barbecue_. But Chouji, you brought him to _Yakiniku-Q?"_

"Ino, chill!" Naruto exclaimed, coming to the defense of his friend—the antics of the young Naruto, Kiba, Shimakaru, and Chouji had been repeated enough by that annoyingly smug Inuzuka who Sasuke believed was trying to make _him_ envious about their alleged _closeness_. Tch, as if he would be. "We ate at the modern side!"

"... Oh."

Her concern was understandable and Sasuke grudgingly liked her for that. Yakiniku-Q used to cook meat and the occasional vegetable over flaming grills, their traditional way of cooking barbecue. The modern side was a recent addition, copied from the Iwa style of having a waiter grill pork speared in sticks before being served to the hungry patron. Either way, oil and carcinogen were imminent.

…. And so was excitement, it seemed—just remembering that night was making Sasuke's throat dry—

"—san?"

A pink tongue, wicked, slowly licking a plump bottom lip—

"Are you listening?"

His own lips, parting, as he allowed it to slip inside—

"Oi? _Oi!_"

Knocked his breath, _stole it,_ sucked out of his lungs—

"Bastard, are you ignoring me?"

—aroused, annoyed, his reply was reflexive.

"Too loud and annoying, dobe."

Dark eyes dilated.

_... Dobe?_

Silence.

_"Just don't get in my way_—_"_

A loud clatter of bowls.

_"_—_dobe."_

Naruto pushed his chair back, a hand scratching the back of his neck with an apologetic smile and a rapid fire of farewells. "Anou sa, I forgot that I—I've to go somewhere important. Thanks for everything, guys. Hey Kiba, pat the sick mutt for me. You said Gaara'd be coming tomorrow, Shikamaru? If you get to him first, tell him Naruto needs to see him. Shino'd probably be arriving tomorrow too, huh? I told Kankurou to marry the man already. Say _hi_ to Lee for me, Tenten, sorry I can't wait for him, tell him I'm feeling youthful and stuff. See you all later. Thanks for the meal. Ja!"

And then he was gone.

It was still silent when Sasuke followed a heartbeat later.

* * *

It was pure luck that Sasuke found him.

"Oi."

Pure luck that he remembered a day long ago when a blond imp painted all over the faces of the beloved Hokage of Konoha.

"... Sasuke-san."

The wind whipped his hair across his face, a striking black against his white face not even flushed from his search of almost half an hour. Naruto's chakra was still perfectly concealed and he had to go around the village by foot—it was while passing the Academy that he almost stumbled, surprised by a memory that caught him unawares.

It was inevitable, after that.

"Why did you leave like that?" Sasuke asked, going straight to the point. He frowned when Naruto remained unmoved, cradled by the Yondaime's face. If he didn't have that damned hitai'ate, Sasuke knew the idiot would be staring at the village preparing to go to sleep, ignoring him.

He didn't like being ignored by this infuriating moron.

"Answer me, _dobe._"

Naruto immediately stiffened. Sasuke felt a grim satisfaction at getting a reaction. "It scares you when I call you what I used to. Doesn't it, _dobe_?"

The faint gasp encouraged him.

"Which do you like better?" he asked, his voice lowering into a growl. "_Usuratonkachi_? _Baka_? _Bibiri-kun_? You seem to like it when I insult you, do_be_."

"Shut up," Naruto whispered. "Stop with those names. You don't have the right to call me that."

The words were rusty knives to his chest.

"I'll call you what I want," Sasuke hissed. "I've always done so, na, _dobe_?"

_"He's better now, isn't he?"_

"You don't _know_ me, you _bastard_," Naruto snapped. There was no force behind them, though, no anger or frustration—there was something else. "You don't remember so stop calling me those names!"

_"But he deserves to know, ne?"_

Sasuke's eyes widened, a sudden flash of insight illuminating his mind.

_"Even a memory seal cannot work against the heart. A heart can remember but it only forgets when it chooses to."_

Fear.

_"Because if what you're saying is true, that a person could… could care for a bond enough to… to hide some of his memories in his heart—then he would have remembered somehow, na?"_

"You're afraid," he breathed out, his words catching as ice washed over his spine.

_"But some people hated bond, y'know. So nothing changes."_

Fuck.

_"But he remembers! Not everything, but he remembers the idea of yo__—__"_

This—This explains _everything__—_

_"What can bind me__—__may chain you. And what can chain me, it may bind you."_

"You're afraid my memories are coming back," he whispered, his voice choked up.

_"What I consider precious ties__—__they can be shackles you curse__—__"_

Sasuke took a shuddering breath.

_"And what I believe in__—__can be something you deny__—__"_

"Because... Because you don't want me to remember."

_"__—s__omething you refuse to accept."_

"You don't want me_—_to remember _you._"

_"There is no **us**."_

He was shaking, he couldn't stop shaking.

_"It's me."_

"Did you do it?"

_"It's me."_

"Put the memory seal on me?"

_"It's me."_

"Was it your doing?"

_"It's me."_

"Answer me, dobe!"

**_"It's me."_**

"... Yes."

Sasuke crumpled to his knees—eyes wide, mouth open, conquered by a word.

It hurt so much.


	23. His Eyes That Saw the Dusk

**A/N:** My last update - March. All I can say is, life interrupted.

I have received quite a number of messages and I just want to assure those thoughtful people - I'm still alive. Just busy. I reckon adulthood does that to you (I promise you I'm a child in my lonesome), and so does the distinct lack of a laptop within your reach. Currently, I'm in the office typing this up (repeat that statement and note how sad I sounded there) as there is only one PC at home with internet connection and nine potential users, and the year is ending and I just want to post this already. I only hope the upcoming long weekend will afford me enough time to reply to each and every comment the previous chapter received.

To _catpaws (T-chan)_, thank you for your thoughtful birthday greeting last March (yes, it was that long a time). You're a dear eternally and I hope you have a more wonderful year ahead of you.

To _Clarie-Clarie_, for nominating this fic in the SasuNaru awards (Overall, Plot, Angst). For your words of support and for not tiring of me. For your drawings. 3

To those who voted and made it possible for The Sky to win _Best Overall for Incomplete _and _Best Plot for Incomplete. _I also want to take this opportunity to thank those who voted for _Yours For an Hour_ in the _Best One-Shot _category. It didn't win but it didn't matter. Not after those votes of confidence. ^_^

To _NekoK_, for being there at just the right moment. I hope to have the opportunity to do the same for you. And catch you more often in YM. :D

To _Negi-kun_, I'm so sorry I'm such a mean person! T_T My promise to you a long time ago is still unfulfilled. I'll reply to your message as soon as I can. In the meantime, you can check out Dog Days, the still-incomplete Kibafem!Naru I promised you. ^^;;

To _xxxmirai_, you know why. ^.~ Whenever we have the time to do it, I hope our project succeeds. ^_^

To the anonymous reviewers of _Sky 19_, I have my home page for you.

To everyone of you who stuck by me. To you patient and impatient lot who reminded me in your own ways that I'm still read. You are all wonderful people. I've missed you all.

And now, I bring you the last interlude. I hope to hear your thoughts on this last one. It's been so long since I wrote I'm afraid I'm rusty.

Please enjoy, dears, and a Happy New Year to us all.

* * *

**The Sky**

_by Hic Iacet Mori_

* * *

**His Eyes That Saw the Dusk**

He remembered nothing of a childhood or a brother who tried to give it back.

Once a year, a perplexing twinge behind his sternum would move his thoughts to gray consciousness. It would occur intermittently, an indecisive spectral drum, thumping at the organ that pumped blood throughout his body. Its rhythmic contractions—unnoticed, unfelt but for this year's time—would stretch out and pound with the truth of its existence, stuttering and gasping and screaming beneath his skin. It was unfamiliar and odd, an annual physical curiosity, unfailing and precise in its bizarre reminder of what he was—a confluence of chemicals, a convergence of living cells, the sum of the parts that killed and did not feel.

_(he did not wonder how he could feel when he never felt pain, but he did find it so strange he could feel something within today)_

And he would stand, and he would leave, and he would seek. For what, he didn't know—he didn't care to know why too—and on this day his mind rested as his body took over. His fellow soldiers, silent, as sheep led to slaughter _(when in truth they were wolves, sharp teeth behind soft muzzles)_, knew not to look when he passed by—even the man who took him in allowed this once-a-year retreat, another peculiarity he did not question nor ever thought to do so_—_he was a tool and a tool never asked the hand that held it where to strike.

_(though he kept a strange picture book when none told him that he should)_

Like a wayward curious root he would rise up past the earth, enticed by the dot of light a worm had carried on its back. With his unseeing empty eyes his head would turn left, right, the breathtaking vista of home ensnaring his eyes—of land shining, always, nestled within living and loving and falling, falling leaves.

_(as in waiting, as in training, as in missions, as in life, he would behold a thing of beauty and feel nothingnothing**nothing**)_

He stood as the sun rose and remained standing as the sun set, the rays of warmth and light—always felt, always there—hiding his watching shadow from curious prying eyes.

_(the best way to hide is always to be seen)_

But there was a ripple in the water, a fault in the earth, an oddity in the oddest day of this year. There was the pink-haired girl standing before a white bench, her arms raised in a grotesque ritual of a dance to the dawn. She looked rather picturesque, pink and white and red:

like the blotch of blood from the lard of a retired kunoichi he disemboweled a month ago.

_(Haruno Sakura, 012601, March 28, O)_

She was pregnant, he learned after, juices of incomplete fetus staining his unprotected pant leg.

_(the hideous pulsing mass looked more alive than he did)_

Then a man some time later went past the heavy village gates—he left afterimages of silver-gray-green, perhaps reaching his goal with a discordant song to the noon. He looked ambiguous from his perch, a shinobi true and true:

like the A-rank he was sent to liquidate in a ballroom gorging on purloined meat and wine.

_(Hatake Kakashi, 009720, September 15, O)_

He was in throes of red agony, falling prey to potent poison, intestines slithering out his anus like wriggling newborn annelids.

_(the desperate dying hope was more alive than he had been)_

And time later still as the sun began to set, his eyes fell on a steep bank where a dock lay beneath. Ahead were the waters lapping gently on shallow land, far beyond was the sun sinking slowly to rise below.

_(23 degrees Celsius and falling by the minute)_

That day was more than odd, he could feel it in his bones, the twinge behind his sternum growing insistent more and more. He remembered the picture book as clearly as if he held it, and he could see pink and gray and nothingnothing_nothing_.

_(nothing for they were empty, those barren middle pages, shaking hard against the wind like the twinge beneath his ribs)_

His unseeing empty eyes began to seek once more.

_(perhaps he should try to also seek why?)_

Was it an object, a reason, the thing that he sought? Reasons exist in every act as surely as he knew objectives did, but he was taught to never question the former above all. Missions existed for one reason and that was to be carried through—anything beyond its shadow was a treachery to their root.

_(could this be counted an act of treachery, asking why he sought what he didn't know?)_

But_—_

_(why he **felt **when he long ago ceased to know what it means?)_

Why?

_(ceased to know long ago how it is to truly **feel**?)_

Maybe the pink girl or the gray man knew what he ought to find and why. She was jumping for the dawn, he was running to the noon—they knew what to do, where to go, knew the reasons that spurred them on.

_(but he had a reason as well, though it be for why he killed__—__)_

They could find what they seek because they knew what it was and why.

_(__—__he existed to do so, there was nothing left for him)_

So on the next year when his thoughts were roused to gray consciousness anew, he stood from the shadows and left and sought once more. In his hands was the picture book that felt right close to his skin, and he watched Pink Girl and Gray Man reach for whatever they seek.

_(in the recesses of him was a feeling he could have felt)_

He stood on his perch, empty, as complete as he'd always been.

_(the perplexing twinge of every year was with him, still, and he was curious—slightly—if it meant his heart wanted to leave)_

There was the dawn and the dance, the noon and the song, the dusk pushing the sun down to be devoured by the land. There was no darkness, no silence, it was commonplace and dull—just the scream of the golden ball as the water rose to drag it down.

* * *

Six months after Naruto came back, he had acquired a new name.

_(Uzumaki Naruto, 012607, October 10, B)_

He was aberrant of behavior, odious of appearance, and Sai _(was his name, the weapon by which he struck)_ had to find fitting words to describe this boy brimming of shortcomings. Their first meeting had been dull, their next even more so _(if he had understood, then, he'd have called it anything but)_, overshadowed by a mission not any strange to him: trappings of espionage, alliance and rumors of alliance, assassination beneath illusions of betrayal and acceptance. They were nothing ever new, it was part of who he was.

_(a root buries itself deep, immerses into dirt, to be of great use to the leaf it seeks to nurture)_

Who he _was_.

_"If people change... then so can I."_

And then_—_

_"But some things never change."_

Sai was **_found_**.

_"Bonds."_

He was never the same again.

_"I'd like to learn more about them."_

_(because the thing he had been seeking was a person, was **himself**)_

Ten weeks, three days, twenty hours since he found himself_—_and even longer since he was _found_ by the blond he had _attacked_. And Naruto—though his initial impression remained relatively the same—was the most fascinating person Sai had ever met.

_(Dickless, fifteen, loves Ichiraku miso ramen with roasted pork fillet, likes his plants, loyal to Konoha and to his friends, greatest dream is to be Hokage)_

Naruto was a strange object _(jinchuuriki-shinobi-**person**)_ that evoked his interest, a curio. As an artist Sai understood how anyone would want to _collect_ the length-challenged young man: Naruto's features were individually pleasing, together incongruously comely, an aesthetic paradox that aroused in Sai an odd itch—to erase a line here, to smudge a shadow there, to darken a stubborn patch, to lighten a rude point. Attempts to alter would halt any frustrated artist however, because—bizarrely enough—there's nothing anyone would want to change after all.

_(perhaps donate more length to the poor nub of a penis, but even Sai knew a hopeless cause when one tried desperately to hang his way.)_

There was that scraggly yellow hair, an obscene mess of light, the sun shining brighter just to spite the world because it could—why Naruto refused to comb it Sai would never know nor care to. There was the brown skin that made him even more visible in the sea of pale and white—how Naruto kept a tan in the darkest places _(indeed he meant the tiny patch of baby penis) _despite the omnipresent offensive jumpsuit of black and orange was one of the mysteries of the village. And there was what Sai had come to see as Naruto's brightest feature—his eyes_—_that he could go on and on about.

Of course Naruto's volume was completely in keeping with his physical appearance. Reminisces around him begged to differ, though_—_

_"Naruto used to be so much louder, he's actually quiet now, more mature."_

_—_and Sai had heard a lot of stories of the rambunctious prankster from the wrinkly Ichiraku chef_—_

_"He used to do the most ridiculous things to be noticed... it's really sad when you think about it."_

_—_yet despite sensing its truth, Sai could never imagine such decibels from the 'quiet' shinobi _(imagination just for fancy was a recent acquisition)_. More so when he discovered, after months of observation, a conflicting thing about this curio: Uzumaki Naruto—sunny and tan, bright and loud—was _silent_.

It wasn't Naruto's vocal silence he pertained to—Sai understood that coming across the testosterone-deficient ninja talking to himself would be alarming_. _No mentally sound person would do that, and he felt nominally assured that he wouldn't have to deal with that despite his misgivings on the younger ninja's cerebral capacity. But this silence_—_it was there. Different.

Curious.

Often he observed Naruto's interactions with his teammates or his enemies or anyone he came across with. It was through this that Sai discerned it, one day_—_Naruto would be declaring with his unceasing mouth and his unstoppable hands but always, always, there would be a quietness_—_enduring_—_within passion_—_fierce and burning.

Passion, Sai learned, is a strong feeling or emotion. It was always with Naruto, its fervor never lessened. It didn't hide, however, the uncanny silence from his keen eyes. Naruto had become an enigma that Sai wished to unravel, the first person to arouse a curiosity in him, and he made it a mission to observe the other more any time he could to understand.

_(it was a fact that would have embarrassed anyone other than he to admit, but embarrassment was a concept he had yet to understand__—b__esides, truth wasn't supposed to be embarrassing, was it?)_

Silence is cold, Sai supposed, and cold is the absence of heat. So, he believed, in his own silence he was cold. But Naruto wasn't. Naruto was _passion_ and passion was _hot_, and hot is the presence of heat. Hot and cold are mutually exclusive concepts—when it's hot, it isn't cold, and when it's cold, it isn't hot. It is unlike kindness and cruelty, for Sai had learned that a person can do the kindest to be cruel and the cruelest to be kind. One can be both at the same time, unlike hot and cold.

So how can Naruto be hot and cold at the same time? Silent, passionate, at the same time?

Like now, as Sai stood on his annual perch with his picture book in his hands _(a gift it was after all, one he made for himself, a gift he had lost and found and will never lose again)_. Sai could see the constant white bench, could see orange and red blobs melting together and not—they splashed vivid brilliance on the otherwise dull seat, their forms shining bright against the rising of the sun. Naruto's eyes were fixed ahead, a hand stroking the hair of his sleeping friend. Even from the distance Sai could see Naruto's smile _(he had become acquainted with the light and had memorized his many smiles, a tilt of a shoulder enough to tell which story creates which smile)_, and even from his far smile Sai could feel Naruto's silence. It wasn't the considerate silence one has for a resting friend—it was the silence, ineffable, that Sai didn't understand.

Naruto didn't look cold. Wasn't, at all. But the silence was there, flowing beneath silence admiring the golden touch of dawn. It was still there when the girl who slept with her head on his lap stirred. It echoed with the laughter Sai couldn't hear from where he stood. It stretched with the sheepish smile of one teasing his friend awake.

It was there.

_(like the air, it was there)_

Later it was still there, when he watched orange run after green until they were dots of indistinguishable colors. Sai knew where the fading dots were headed, knew when they would reach it—he knew Naruto's eyes would be fixed ahead, feet jumping after the gray shadows of his respected teacher. In his mind Sai could see Naruto's smile _(he believed the world couldn't contain the multitude of those smiles)_, and even from his unseen smile Sai could feel Naruto's silence. It wasn't the courteous silence one has for a leading teammate—it was the silence, indefinable, that Sai couldn't understand.

Naruto didn't look cold when he left. Wasn't, at all. But the silence was there, trailing after silence embracing the golden touch of noon. It was still there when the teacher he followed acknowledged him. It echoed with the rustling leaves Sai couldn't hear from where he stood. It stretched with the determined footsteps of one following his commander.

It was there.

_(like the wind, it was there)_

The silence that was always, always there.

Sai looked down, the sun too much for his eyes. Looked down into the picture book that he grasped with his hands.

_(Once upon a time it didn't make sense. Once upon a time he didn't know how it came to. Once upon a time it was useless, trash, like how his world was before he knew of bonds)_

He turned the first page, the perplexing twinge back _(but it wasn't perplexing anymore, not really—he understood why it was there, somewhat)_. It grew stronger and stronger until he reached the center of the book, and his heart settled behind his chest as he gave a genuine smile.

_"I wanted to show my brother this..."_

It felt like the first time when he finally found himself—the childhood, the memory, the brother who cared, and the bond that tied the sum of his forgotten parts together.

_"... this picture of our dream..."_

His fingers moved, unbidden, tracing the lines of a drawing finally complete after many years _(his finger rose in a curve and dipped in the center, rose up briefly to dip down and closed to finish where it began)_—of two friends—_brothers_—boys lost in an adult world _(two halves of a whole, broken and meaningless if incomplete)_. They were orphans, outcasts, with no one left to live for _(two boys with heads bowed, curled unto each other face to face)_, and it was only to the other that they began to exist.

_(and the lines and the halves and the boys facing each other formed the figure of a heart, formed the meaning of a name)_

Sai raised his head up, compelled by an unknown force _(of **life **because he lived, **he was finally **_**living**_)_, by a silence that beckoned with its voiceless call. With his keen eyes his head turned left, right, around, eyes sweeping through the splendor of an afternoon in the village. His gaze landed on still waters aglow with molten gold stars and far beyond, a weary sentinel, was the lonely wooden dock.

_(lonely, alone, preferring solitude, lacking company—how does the choice of being _**_one _**_make the same one sad?)_

His grip of his picture book tightened, an unconscious action that alerted him. His training had been too ingrained that any change, even in himself, was something he immediately honed into—his brain would process the variables and compare against constants in seconds, sift through occurrences from minutes to weeks ago to ascertain if he was attacked or controlled. See if he must destroy himself before any poison reached the main root—there were many ways to kill and how to kill himself was the second lesson a Root ANBU must learn.

_"I'm nobody."_

The first lesson of a Root ANBU_—_

_"I don't exist."_

_(he had learned it so well and for all these knowledge, he was empty)_

But his grip was still tight as he looked down at his hands, hands that were trembling as they held on to the book. He didn't understand where _this _came from—there was a different twinge beneath his chest, a twinge he called _painful_. His eyes strayed to the dock, barren and cold. The feeling grew.

_"... I don't have feelings."_

There were no visible changes around him, the patterns of the villagers remained the same. He had ingested food hours ago that would sustain him for the whole day. The wind was the right speed, the temperature the right warmth, there were no ominous signs from forest creatures all around—but it remained, that twinge, painful behind his sternum, hurting and alive.

Like the one he used to have for as long as he remembered.

_"Sasuke-kun used to sit there."_

And then he understood.

_(Uchiha Sasuke, 012606, July 23, AB)_

Just as he understood why—

_"He's the person that, more than anyone else, accepted me and my existence."_

—why the heart behind his chest feels a twinge once a year.

_(Sasuke, Naruto's friend)_

"Bonds," he said aloud. Sai watched the word paint itself to life before his eyes. It was vibrant, breathing. Orange across blue, limned black and shadowed white.

_(he wanted to draw the bond that reminded him of his)_

Past where water and sun met, up the steep earthy bank, Sai caught a figure against the light dying on the planks. He jumped down, silent, from the tree he hid on once a year, taking the sixteen steps needed to appear beside him.

_(deepbluefar, he tried to follow those eyes, but the road silence paves is too narrow for another)_

"I want to think that someday—someday, he'd be back here."

Sai turned to him, confused by the words—and the mere fact he broke his silence to talk to someone like him.

"Three years today, I promised to myself I'd see him here again," Naruto murmured, his hands inside his pockets, the strange silence Sai could _feel_ more palpable with every word. Blue eyes never left the afternoon sky as he went on _(his eyes captured dreams better than any of them could)_, "I keep expecting him around here, y'know. Turn around, glare at me. Insult me 'til we're fighting. We used to do that a lot and I—I miss it. I think I kinda miss it much."

He turned to him, blue eyes glowing _(they were the brightest, his eyes, the most silent, the most passionate)_. "I'm really glad I met you. Y'know? Missing him hurts like a mother sometimes. Stupid, yeah." He laughed, trying to staunch the flow of the vivid brilliance in his eyes _(they were brighter than before, more passionate, more silent, and his heart responded to this sight with another painful lurch)_. "But when I see you, I just know that—that it's not always going to be like this. Your bond with your brother... it encourages me a lot. Keeps my hopes up, na?"

Naruto smiled _(blue closing in on itself, sky holding in clouds of rain)_. "I like to think he'd be back, one day. Here. And it'd be like—like he never left at all. We'd be picking up from where we left off but this time—this time, he'd understand how important he is to me." He nodded, eyes still closed _(his sight was so powerful he could see in the dark)_. "And we'd be like you and your brother in your book and—and—

"—and he would never leave again," he ended in a whisper.

Throughout his friend's monologue, Sai's puzzled eyes had softened _(he made people understand, even people like him)_ until he nodded once to show his approval. Naruto turned to him with a grin before looking to the fading sun once more.

"Your brother—you remember him, na? It's why you're here now, na?" he asked, his voice a soft breath. "You've been on that tree for hours, I know it. It's special to you. To me, too. And your picture book's not in your bag, you're holding it now. You're looking at it again, na, Sai? Because it makes you—" Naruto turned to him, his eyes so deep and blue and _near _that Sai—once upon a time an artist blind to the beauty he could _see_—felt his heart twinge once more for the beauty he could _feel_, "—happy."

Sai raised his hand to his chest, pondering over this response. His heart didn't feel happy. There was no immediate joy or pleasure even as Naruto went on. "I know, 'coz looking at our—our team picture makes me feel the same way. Me and him, glaring at each other—Sakura-chan smiling between us, so cute and charming!—then Kakashi-sensei, trying to hold us down… we're really close to jumping each other!" Naruto shook his head. "I don't even remember what we're fighting about that day, but I remember feeling a bit—a bit nice about it, after. It's—"

Naruto's mouth lifted at the corner, a smile so small Sai would have missed it if he blinked, a smile so rare it was the first time he saw it, "It's a happy hurt, Sai. It's a hurt you'd want to have over and over and _over_ the fuck again."

_"Sasuke is my friend, and he represents the bonds that I waited so long to receive, so that's why..."_

"I really don't care what they say, he's the bond I've been waiting for. Even if he acts like he doesn't care, even if it hurts more than thinking that he hates me. Even if he rams all the Chidori he could pop up inside my chest, or stick his stupid sword behind my back, or lord over all his cool new fucking jutsu. Even if he tries to kill me, as long he's nowhere near my heart, I know he doesn't mean a fuck of it. I know he still feels it."

_(he trusted in their bond even when pain was all he got)_

"You've never gotten rid of your bond and you're more emotionally retarded than he is. Maybe it's an asshole's chance in heaven, that he's never gotten rid of our bond, too, that it's important to him too—but I'd take that chance any day. I believed in him before and I'd believe in him for as long as I could."

_(he still trusted in them even when darkness was all there is to see)_

Naruto turned back to him, meeting dark eyes—once empty—with burning blue eyes. "I can—I can believe in Sasuke, na? In our bond, na, Sai?"

_(he even trusted **him**)_

He looked down at his hand, feeling the rhythm of his heartbeat, and raised the same hand to the blond head with a slow, approving nod. Naruto's eyes closed with a grateful smile and Sai felt himself smile back. The ache in his chest grew and he understood in a flash.

"A happy hurt," Sai said aloud. Naruto started in surprise, eyes wet at the corners. He raised his own eyes to the bright horizon, dissecting his response as rationally as he could. "My mind acknowledges your decision and your reasons. I believe in your bond too, Naruto-kun, and I feel a lightness I associate with approval that you persevere to that end. However—" Sai's brows furrowed, feeling it once more, "—my heart... feels as if the veins over it are constricting, and squeezing it. It's not so painful but—it hurts. This is a happy hurt," he concluded.

Naruto stared, mouth agape, and Sai calmly looked back, his brows smoothed off his puzzlement. Then Naruto's mouth clamped down, twitching, until he was chuckling and grinning. Sai tilted his head.

His silent question was answered. "You're—really weird, y'know," Naruto said by means of explanation. "You're really weird," he repeated, still grinning.

How did his presumed weirdness make Naruto happy? Sai looked down at his picture book then back to the other, who now faced the waters once more with arms behind his head. "You're really like him," Sai commented. At a glance, he went on. "He didn't make sense too," he offered.

"... Hey!"

"But—" Sai added, another smile forming, his heart again lurching, "—he's important to me. As you are." His eyes closed, his smile too much for his lips alone. The way Naruto liked to smile. "And I understand even if it doesn't make sense in my head."

"You're—" His eyes opened in concern, startled by the strange sound. Naruto was turned away from him, a forearm over his eyes. When he took a deep breath, Sai realized why. "You're still a dick," Naruto choked out.

Sai thought of the proper response. He settled for his favorite instead.

"And you're still a dickless."

Naruto—in front of him, head bowed, a forearm over his eyes—looked like a small child crying to his brother. And Sai was struck by how young Naruto appeared—an orphan, like him, lost in this world still—struck by how this sight made his heart ache once more. The silence was stronger, this late afternoon, and he could feel his friend's yearning as if it was his.

_(or perhaps it was really his, because yearning is what he feels when this day comes around)_

Just as his brother did the first time he cried, just as his brother did days before he died, Sai raised his hand to Naruto's head and pulled it down to his shoulder.

_(loss is a language universally understood)_

While Sai looked at the sunset for both of them, Naruto cried for their bond for all of them.

He couldn't hear any sobs but he could hear great heaves of air, couldn't see any tears but could see slight trembling of shoulders. He could feel how Naruto forced himself to stay upright—the way he did by staying up to wake the Pink Girl up _(Ugly, fifteen, likes umeboshi and dislikes spicy foods, best friend of Gorgeous, enjoys memorizing facts, said to have feelings for Uchiha)_, the way he did by waiting to follow the Gray Man out _(Kakashi-sempai, twenty-nine, likes miso soup with eggplant, enjoys reading the Icha Icha series, the only remaining student of Yondaime Hokage)_. And Sai knew, somehow, knew it would hurt his friend _(the way it hurt this organ beating behind his chest, the way it throbbed with the word **friend** resonating within) _if he couldn't do it for himself.

So, without looking—Naruto seemed afraid to show his struggling—Sai sat down, slowly, on the dusty road on his knees. Forced down the earth, by his support, Naruto looked up, eyes swollen and red.

Sai glanced to the trees behind them and turned to the sunset. "I've been standing on that tree since dawn and I'm tired. We shouldn't force ourselves to stand when we couldn't."

"You—what?" Naruto asked, voice hoarse.

"Prolonged standing increases health risk," Sai replied, reciting Sakura's book. "It can hurt to a point that you could no longer support yourself."

Naruto backed up, looked at him and started speaking, then cleared his throat before trying again. "Being a _ninja_ increases health risk."

Sai nodded, a bit confused. "Of course. But we're discussing standing and we shouldn't stand when we couldn't anymore. We need to rest our legs and feet so we can stand and go where we should."

Naruto stared at him for a moment and Sai returned the favor. Then, the blond shook his head and crossed his tired legs, turning to watch the waters as it reflected the explosion of colors in the sky.

"Thanks."

Today was the first day he shared this day with someone else, and Sai thought Shin might find it acceptable to spend this day with a dickless like him.

* * *

None of them discussed what happened. They continued from where they left off before that day—training, doing missions, scolding Sai on Naruto's side _(are you trying to have me fucking **castrated**?)_ and insulting Naruto on Sai's side _(you mean **spayed**, don't you?)_, and chasing after the bond they both believed to still be there. A lot of people had tried to turn them against each other, and a lot of times it was hard to see past the lies woven around them, but they still pinned their faith on the truth they believed was tangled within stories, the truth that will come out for the trusting and faithful like Team Seven of Konoha.

No words were spoken between them on the afternoon of that day, but by the time the sun was past its zenith, they were sitting on the dusty road beside each other once more, watching the waters rise and fall against the lonely dock down below. As he did the past years, Sai held his picture book and flipped it slowly to the middle, anticipating an end that he now knew by heart. Once in a while he would glance up to his friend—Naruto, silent, never broke his gaze from the waters.

"Dickless," Sai called out, falling silent himself once more when Naruto turned to him _(he was temporarily caught off-guard by the lapis shining his way)_. At the raise of an eyebrow _(he wondered if that's what gazing in water for a long time did to blue eyes)_, the sudden, inexplicable wave of nerves brought a false smile to his face. "I have something to show you."

Wary of the smile, Naruto inched back with a look of suspicion. "It's something gross, na?"

Sai felt himself relax at the familiar look. His smile became more sincere and Naruto in turn relaxed as well. "So what is it?" the younger ninja asked, more enthusiastic this time. Naruto inched closer, his eyes shining with a different light, a different reason. "Tell me tell me!"

As an answer to the demand, Sai reached behind him and withdrew an object from his pocket. His long artistic fingers successfully hid the cover from the impatient stare of his companion—who then huffed and crossed his arms upon spying it.

"Great, a book." Naruto scowled. "If this is another book on _enhancing your manly attributes!_ or _when compensation is necessary!_, I'm going to drown you, no kidding."

"I was sure you'd find them helpful," Sai said in perfect innocence. He may not have grown socially in leaps and bounds the past year—an entire life's worth of desensitization was not easily undone—but he had learned quite a few things as part of Team Kakashi. Two of them were: Naruto never took any slur against his manhood lightly, though he'd wave if off provided they were slurred by exempted people; and it's really fun to rile Naruto. Angering Naruto could even be classified as the climax of his day, now.

"I'd _seriously_ drown you and no one's gonna find your pale shitty ass."

Sai blinked. "... Have you been ogling my ass?"

He almost _grinned_ when Naruto sputtered, face beet-red while swearing a storm of disgust and denial. Too easy. Another thing amusing about Naruto: he could deliver the raunchiest story, narrate the lewdest things imaginable by textbook definition, but tease him about anything remotely sexual and he acted like an innocent Academy student. Sai had learned this eccentricity one time they were with Team Eight—Naruto wouldn't stop making mock passes at Ino with false leers and exaggerated winks, but when the blonde kunoichi jumped behind Naruto and began rubbing her bosom against the other's back, Naruto froze up and blushed so brightly that he had initially thought an enemy had managed to poison him. Ino's delighted laughter informed him that something humorous had just occurred, and Chouji's helpful explanation a couple of minutes later told him what it was and why.

Sai had been using that knowledge since—to varying results.

When the younger shinobi drew in a sharp breath for another barrage of vocal outrage, Sai immediately seized the gap and uncovered the book in his hand. Caught unawares, Naruto stopped and blinked. Then blinked some more.

Disbelief was dawning on his face and Sai wasn't sure if it was a good response.

"That's—me?"

Sai's brows furrowed, wondering at this reaction. He nodded, uncertain—it felt odd, this uncertainty, how his stomach churned, how his heart pounded—as Naruto reached forward with a hesitant hand, fingers tracing his drawn form before blue eyes widened with another realization. He quickly grabbed the book and turned to the other side. And gasped.

_He really has strange eyes._

"This—_him?_ You drew—You drew him? Me and him? This book? Like you and Shin, your book?" Naruto asked, his hands shaking as they held the picture book. _Agitation_, Sai realized. Naruto was agitated by what he did, his emotions stirred up.

Did he do something wrong?

"You're wrong," Sai answered with usual tact. He blinked when Naruto stiffened and looked down, messy hair covering his face. Sai felt compelled to go on. "Our picture book is what you would call a dream. This of you and Uchiha is my goal."

He heard the other's breath hitch. "I want your bond to be whole once more," Sai explained. "Your bond with him is important to you and you are important to me, so his bond with you is important to me as well. I want to understand more of bonds, Naruto-kun, what I know now is not enough. I want to understand more, so I made it my goal to see your bond restored."

Naruto didn't reply. Sai saw, however, his friend open the book, turning the pages slowly as he lingered on each picture. With every flip of a left hand the right would turn for the other side—Naruto would hold two pages at the same time as he went back and forth, back and forth, comparing stories Sai heard and drew. He felt himself hold his breath whenever it happened—he realized that he wanted Naruto to like it. _Needed_ to like it.

He had never felt the need for another's approval of his art before.

In the quietness of the nearing sunset Naruto and Sai returned to their pasts. Sai himself had gone back to his own picture book, reading the hidden words behind lines and shades that formed the story of a bond that brought light to his darkened childhood. At times he would surprise himself with a smile on his lips, enticed by a memory of the brother who had gone. At times he would hear a surprised chuckle from his right, encouraged by a memory of the brother hoped to come back.

Sai smiled. It was such a happy sound. Shin never hid his laughter too. At least, around him.

Loud, impatient, unrefined—these were the words he used to describe Shin to Naruto, the attributes he found in Naruto himself. Not traits that he admired but found himself drawn to, traits that now he often looked for in this shinobi beside him. In some ways it was as if Shin had never left, and while he didn't necessarily think of his surrogate brother every waking moment, the sense of loss was more acute on this day and his mind was filled with thoughts of Shin.

It was those memories, memories further vivified by his picture book, that made him think of making one for Naruto and Sasuke. Sai couldn't begin to fathom what his young friend was going through but one thing he was sure of—he didn't want Naruto to forget his bond the way he himself had. Sai was fortunate to have his picture book even if he didn't know what to do with it for a long time—Naruto wasn't so lucky as a talentless ninja. With his artistic hand, at least, Sai had caught as much memories as he could to make sure that Naruto would always remember his goal that Sai had adopted as his—Uchiha Sasuke's return that would symbolize the reconstruction of their bond.

And, unlike his dream, Sai believed that Naruto would achieve his goal.

_"Just like you, he took on anything he did with everything he had."_

Because Naruto was like Shin and Sai believed in him.

"Thanks," Naruto murmured. His head was still bowed as he looked at a drawing, his hair hanging over his eyes. "I... It's—This is special. I think. To me." Sai had to tilt his head down, straining to catch the other's voice. "Just—anou sa—" a soft whisper, "Thank you."

The silence that followed weighed heavily upon him. Sai wondered at the other's downcast expression. Wasn't he pleased? Naruto just thanked him, didn't he?

"You're welcome, but why are you not happy?" he asked. When Naruto slowly shook his head, breeze lifting the strands of his hair—his quick eyes caught it and Sai tapped his chin. "Is it a happy hurt? This, what you feel now?"

Naruto's mouth quirked. "I guess you could call it that." When Sai opened his mouth to ask, he quickly shook his head. "It's nothing. I... I just—I just—" His mouth opened to heave in gulps of much-needed air.

A choked sound escaped instead.

Sai frowned when Naruto folded his knees before him, his head caught between it and his arms wrapping around himself. His friend's shoulders were shaking and Sai could hear his loud, shuddering intakes of breath. He felt a drawing in his chest, as if a hand was tightening around his heart—until he himself found it hard to breathe.

Without a second thought, Sai reached for the bowed head and pulled it close to his shoulder—he knew without a doubt that Naruto was struggling again. His stomach lurched when Naruto stiffened and immediately backed away—surprised at grasping empty air, his arm stretched forward again and made to reach for the blond.

Naruto slapped off his hand, reddened eyes raised in a glare. "Hell you're doing?

Sai pursed his lips, brows still furrowed. "I'm trying to comfort you, Dickless. What are you doing?"

The glare faltered. He could see his friend's mouth wobble, a loss of control. "I... A-Anou—"

"You're crying," Sai concluded.

"I'm not! Okay?" Naruto denied, turning away angrily. But Sai could see the tears in the corners of those eyes defiantly holding on—

And from out of nowhere an idea took root.

Sai slowly stood up. Spikes of electricity shot up his lower limbs at the change in position—he casually stretched each leg for a few seconds, allowing his legs some time to adjust. After a sufficient time had passed, he looked down at the sitting blond and, before the latter could assume anything, Sai reached down and swiftly pulled Naruto up.

_"Fuck!"_

Before Naruto could fall, Sai swiftly twisted his own body until the other was completely leaning on his back. Naruto's knees buckled, still weak from sitting cross-legged for so long—he seized that moment and looped his own arms behind the other's thighs, capturing the full weight of his friend. A second later and Sai, smiling, carried a dumbfounded Naruto on his back as he went down the bank.

On the wooden dock, Sai stopped and looked ahead. The waters sparkled like broken glasses, each sliver touched with the liquid gold of the sun. The sky blazed a brilliant orange red, fading into pink at the edges—the sun's blood, Sai mused, dripping from its core to paint the light earth a darker, somber hue. It was a solemn sight, this sunset, and it demanded silence as its praise.

"Why?" came the hoarse whisper.

And despite its rudeness, that word, a sudden shout that pierced the silence in praise of the dying gold miracle, Sai thought the voice complemented the sunset so well.

"So you can cry on my shoulder," he replied.

"I'm not crying," Naruto protested weakly. "And it's not literal. Idiot," he added.

"You're lying," Sai countered, his eyes thoughtful as they watched the water swallow the sun. "But I can see that you fear I would think less of you for crying. Let me assure you I've been thinking less of you since we met."

An incredulous silence.

—then, a sharp bark of laughter.

Sai almost smiled at his expected response. "You jackass!" Naruto cried out. His legs flailed but Sai held on, refusing to let his hold slip. "You're a real dick!"

"I'm to assume you enjoy touching me, then?"

Sai bit back a devilish grin—ah, a year ago he couldn't even do that—when the ninja behind him froze. He bit on his bottom lip to contain it when Naruto groaned and slammed his heated face down his own shoulder. "I'll kill Ino. Or you, whoever's easier."

_Easy._ There's another connotation for that word. And a quote apt for that. "Not until after the second date."

Another incredulous silence, this time broken by a surprised snort from behind. The snort turned into chuckles—Sai could feel a smile on his back and it weighed heavier than he expected _(and yet it was negligible, this smiling weight, a precious burden he would gladly bear for as long as he could) _—fading slowly into a silence that rivaled that of the purpling skies.

Deep heaves of breath slowly broke the calm of twilight. The pieces landed on his shoulder, liquid burning on his skin.

Sai's eyes closed against the moon.

"—'M not crying. I'm just—I'm just s-sleepy. Make sure your h-hold's not slipping or-or—something."

His mouth lifted, crescent.

"I will catch you."

A step forward.

"What the—That's not good enough!"

Another.

"When I said I will catch you, it means I will never let you fall."

He would go wherever the sun needed him to be.

* * *

"Why'd you ask Sakura-chan to marry you?"

Sai didn't even pause. His eyes darted between his drawing and the tree, heedless of the shinobi frowning deeply at him. Half a minute elapsed and still he carried on.

Naruto tapped his foot, impatient. "Well?"

"I wanted to know her response," he replied after another 30-second silence. He paused to turn to a fresh page, his eyes this time landing on the flight formation of a flock of migratory birds. Sai understood the reason behind the use of this v-formation, but he was more appreciative of the symmetry this utilitarian formation created—it showed him that teamwork is its own beauty.

_The bird in the lead works the hardest so the ones behind it don't have to._

"You're looking at birds," Naruto commented dryly. "I think you should stop hanging out with Neji." Sai sensed Naruto's frown deepening—constant exposure to his young friend was making him adept at the latter's expressions. "And you're not making sense too. Like, not making sense _more_. I'm sure it's Neji too."

Ah, he couldn't disagree with that. Hyuuga Neji spoke as if there was an ancient summon dwelling on his tongue. If Sakura hadn't forced him to learn about idioms and figures of speech _("It's pink and worth your arms and legs, baka!" "I'm afraid I do not care to lose my arms and legs over that undersized skirt exposing your slab of thighs.")_, he would have been more confused with the jounin's words than he already was. Sai was only certain of one thing—whenever Hyuuga spoke of birds, he wasn't talking about penises.

Sai figured a penis couldn't fly into yonder blue sky.

"Now you're even doing the _gazing-off-into-the-distance _thing," Naruto added, settling down beside him. Sai blinked and realized that yes, he was doing that. "Next you'd be growing your hair and wearing skirts," he paused and added, as an afterthought, "and slapping people around."

All his life Sai had never rolled his eyes—it wasn't that it was a juvenile act, he just hadn't found the opportunity to do so.

"Dude, what's up with your eyes?" Naruto asked, noticeably disturbed. "Are you—are you fainting?—Or _trying_ to?"

He simply smiled, a vein throbbing on his forehead. "Dickless."

"Hentai! Stop calling me that already!" The index finger now shoved before his face trembled with accusation. "And stop—stop whatever the fuck you're doing to distract me!" The finger shook harder. "_Stop popping your eyes!_ And _smiling!_ And looking like a smug jerk! And drawing before I te-_heeeeey_, is that my picture book?—_Stop it already!_"

"It is," Sai answered with his usual placid air. He glanced up when a shadow fell on him—Naruto was now crouching before him, trying to catch a glimpse. A strategically placed hand and the younger shinobi puffed his cheeks in irritation. "You're not allowed to see until it's finished," he added.

"But it's my picture book!"

"Comprised of my drawings."

Naruto pouted. "Smug jerk." His eyes widened at his own words and he straightened up, pointing at Sai with renewed vigor. "_See?_ You distracted me _again!_"

Sai gave him a puzzled smile. "My presence distracts you?"

_"Stop sounding so wrong!"_

Sai looked up at his teammate, currently panting for breath with a scandalized, frustrated expression on his face. He decided to save that line for future references to Naruto's dicklessness. "I asked Sakura to marry me to ascertain her response," Sai said, deciding to steer their conversation into its original topic before Naruto combusted. "Are you angry I didn't ask you?"

He _had_ been really curious. Of how Ugly would respond, and how he would feel about it. Hyuuga had seemed agitated when he did.

Blue eyes, unexpectedly, seemed to bulge from their sockets. "W-What th—fuc—You—" Naruto seemed to be groping for words. "_Sai-hentai!_" he screamed instead.

"Are you angry I didn't ask for your permission before asking Sakura to marry me?" Sai asked patiently. Was he choking?

A stunned second of silence before the explosion called Naruto. **_"Be clear next time!"_** came the screech. "You _asshole_, I thou—_fuck_, forget it!" His dark glare was offset by his bright red ears, his eyes almost shut as he ranted blindly on. Sai simply listened, puzzling over the peculiar reaction. Hadn't he been clear enough?

"So you're not in love with her or anything?" Naruto ended. His eyes were seeking—for what, Sai didn't know.

He also didn't understand. "Must I be?"

Naruto's shoulders hitched, and Sai inwardly prepared himself for a pompous speech. A beat soon and the shoulders slumped, confusion mirroring his. "I think so. I've been kinda trying to learn more about it and that marrying thing started everything. See, see, Sakura-chan said something about belonging, then Kakashi-sensei left after asking me about accepting. Some things made sense but a lot? Not so much, really," Naruto ended with a sheepish scratch on his head.

Sai leaned back, his attention piqued. He had found a lot of books discussing love and he had read some of it, but he was more confused than enlightened. Love is too abstract for him, despite him being an artist.

Or perhaps, _because_ he was an artist.

He could easily discern the differences between _carmine_ and _burgundy_—they were both shades often called _red_ but there are differences and they are acknowledged—at least by purists such as he—through their names. Which was why he couldn't understand, no matter how deeply he thought it over, how a woman could claim to love a cat and in the same breath claim to love her boyfriend. He logically knew there's a difference of degree in the love for the cat and the boyfriend, so why wasn't it acknowledged, at least linguistically? Why must _love_ be used in both instances?

Was it enough that a deep attachment was felt by both parties, as in the case of the woman and the cat? If so, why does a woman claim to love a bag as well? Or love a color? A bag or color is inanimate—breathing is beyond them, let alone loving. The same goes with _like_.

But, he inwardly conceded, _like_ is a shallower notion that even he understood. Case in point—he liked Naruto's eyes. He found it enjoyable to look at, not just for its color but also for its depth. There were differences in shades and hues he appreciated as an aesthete—and they were just... _fascinating_.

He dreamed of those eyes, sometimes, on lazy afternoons of bodyguard missions. Sai knew it was unprofessional but his senses were honed to perfection—his reflex was enough, and this allowed him to vivify Naruto's eyes among the sun-heated skies, the gold-lit dusts. Sai realized those eyes weren't a particularly outstanding color, but they had this _thing _that intensified it—this _thing_ he had come to identify as Naruto's _silence_ that immediately set those eyes apart from any he had ever seen. And though Sai mulled over it and failed to understand, he liked those eyes very much.

So he understood _like_. What about _love_? If it was as important an emotion—_the_ most important, according to some—as it was touted to be, how could it be used so casually? Or was it so long as you have formed an attachment to a person or object, or even an animal, that it could be classified as _love_? Because attachment was the greatest common factor in the instances that had immediately sprang in his mind—of a woman loving a color, or a bag, or a cat, or a boyfriend—and attachment defies logic. A person can be attached to the least likely object or person and none could understand. Like how Naruto was attached to orange.

_Attached._

Or ramen.

_Binded._

Sai blinked.

_Bond._

Or Sasuke.

"Are you in love with Sasuke?"

He watched in interest as blue eyes rounded swiftly, completely, consuming a face suddenly emptied of color but blue. It may be the first time that Sai had left Naruto shocked for words—the younger ninja was opening and closing his mouth as his eyes grew wider and wider, as if he was choking on the scant air he was gulping in, being strangled by words that couldn't be formed for lack of it.

Sai wondered if he should do something.

"Dickless," he said, a noticeable note of concern slipping into his voice. "Naruto-kun. Do you require mouth-to-mouth resuscitation?"

A powerful gasp and Naruto breathed in, out. The stunned wide eyes then narrowed, blue-red glitters against unhealthy splashes of crimson on an otherwise deathly-pale face.

"What. did. you. s_ay?_"

The glacial whisper-hiss was a surprise. Its iciness was completely at odds with the vibrant heat on the other's face.

Interesting.

"To be in love is to form an attachment, isn't it?" Sai said instead. "To bond? Don't you and Sasuke have a bond?"

Confused, the stiffness of Naruto's shoulders slowly eased. "But you and Shin had a bond too," Naruto pointed out, a bit uneasy for reasons Sai couldn't begin to fathom. He could practically see the other forcing his words out. "Does that make you in l-l-love with him?"

He didn't miss the stutter. Naruto had a point, though—he and Shin had a bond, but he was certain that he wasn't in love with Shin. How he was sure, he didn't know. He just was.

But then, that meant _attachment_ wasn't the hallmark of love. So what made love, _love_?

"I don't know!" Naruto whined, and Sai realized belatedly that he had been thinking aloud. "Sakura-chan said it's not bad to belong to me after she told me we don't have to get married after she told me that people who get married wanted to be always around each other _because _they love each other crazy, then Kakashi-sensei tore up his book and _then _I kinda understood belonging and falling in love and _then_ he asked me if I would accept it! _Gaaaaah_, I'm getting really pissed with this _shit!_"

Sai could sense a headache. His left ear was ringing too. "Is Ugly in love with you, then?"

Naruto faltered before giving a crooked smile. "Raising you above her head and throwing you to the flood is not a sign of being in love, trust me. Though Sakura-chan probably'd see it that way, only more violently," he added in an afterthought, before shaking his head. "Eh, Sakura-chan's not in love with me. I'm not her type."

"Type?"

"Anou sa, her perfect guy or something," Naruto said dismissively. Sai wasn't fooled. "Not me. Anyway, Kakashi-sensei said something weird. About a part that wasn't ours could make us whole again, then he explained it something like he can give his heart to me right now and expect someone else to give it to him. Which is really crazy, you know? Because if I have his heart, doesn't it mean that I should give it back to him? Then he said—" Naruto stood up and settled in a familiar stance, feet apart with his hands in the act of forming a seal. He squeezed his left eye shut, his right blue remaining open, "—_Why? Will you accept it?_"

Sai tilted his head just as Naruto plopped back beside him, clearly frustrated.

_Accept?_

"So is Kakashi-sempai in love with you?"

"_Of course not!_" Naruto bellowed. "Where did that even _come_ from_?_"

"He was asking you if you would accept his heart," Sai answered, mind analyzing even as he spoke. "Didn't he say that if he gives his heart to you, he can expect someone else to give it back? Which is to say, even if you are the one supposed to give his heart back, you can't do it because you didn't accept it at all. Isn't that what his question meant?"

"Didn't accept—" Naruto repeated, slowly. "But why won't I accept it? The heart's a really important part. Why wouldn't I do that?" His eyes were luminous, an undercurrent of emotion within that Sai couldn't define. "You'd like a part like that to belong to you, right? I mean, if I give you mine, you'd take it, right?"

Would he?

_(if it's **his**, would he?)_

"Wait wait, let me go at it again," Naruto began in earnest, the brightness in his eyes rivaling the cloudless noon sky, "We're all complete, we start out like that, and we meet people and sometimes we give them our parts. Small parts and big parts and useless parts and important parts, and we give them to some people and sometimes we don't get it back. Sometimes we get it back. Sometimes we get parts that aren't ours but they become ours and we find a place for them. The best is when we give the most important part to our most important person, and we get married—we get together, stay always together like Sakura-chan said—and we become whole because of it and I don't belong to myself now, I belong to my most important person too. Because I got broken and got complete again because of that person and that part I gave away that came back to me through that same person."

"But what if that person doesn't want to stay together?" Sai asked, frowning, after a thoughtful stretch of silence.

Naruto's brows puckered together, thinking it over. "Then I guess you'd never be whole again. Na?" He cupped his chin. "But you give the most important part to one person—so does it mean you'd never have it again if the person doesn't want to stay with you? You'd be broken, forever?" he murmured. His head snapped up with a yell. "That's a crazy load of bullshit!"

"Kakashi-sempai said someone else's part could make you whole again," Sai pointed out.

"But that doesn't make sense! Like, how could it be as important as the part you gave away that's just _so fucking important _that you're broken without it? _Forever? For real **forever and ever**?_"

Sai reached behind him and thumped Naruto upside the head. Naruto stared at him, stunned. "You hit me. You fucking _hit_ me."

"You're becoming too loud," Sai explained. "Isn't that what Sakura does to you?"

"You're not Sakura-chan!"

Another swift thump.

"You fucking hit me_ again!_"

"Didn't you say that sometimes we get parts that aren't ours and we find a place for them?" Sai asked placidly, diverting the other's attention. Naruto nodded slowly. Success rate 100% "What if that part is the most important part of someone else? Perhaps it was what Kakashi-sempai meant."

"But it wouldn't match! I mean, the huge part is supposed to be a really important part and the story doesn't make sense without it, so how could the important part of another story make the old story complete or something? It'd only make sense if the important part that came from someone else also came from me, but that'd mean I'd have to have given that part to that person in the first place!"

His blank look must have been telling. Naruto shook his head. "How could something that didn't belong to me make me complete, Sai?"

"What if," he stated slowly, "it does belong to you and you simply did not know?" Before Naruto could voice any dissent, he added, "It is possible, Dickless."

"I don't get it."

His breath caught when blue eyes rose to him. Naked. Pleading. Something thick and heavy lodged in his throat and Sai, the emotionless artist, was stunned by the eloquent silence in swirling blue.

_He does not get it._

Sai may know next to nothing about love—

_He really doesn't._

—but he was beginning to get an idea of it.

Almost without thought, Sai unfurled a blank scroll and began an elegant arc with his brush, his hand moving faster than his mind could grasp the image clamoring for life. Naruto watched him with unhidden curiosity, furrowed brows slowly clearing as lines connected to form a familiar figure.

"I once gave Ugly a painting," he said, his hand still moving. "It was of her and Gorgeous doing this activity I learned from Icha Icha, pole dancing."

Distracted, Naruto looked up. "... You drew Sakura-chan and Ino _pole dancing?_"

He nodded absentmindedly. "Yes. I had assumed she would like it."

_"... Pole dancing?"_

"She crumpled it with her manly fist and attempted to throw me over the bridge."

"Sakura-chan _pole dancing _with _Ino?_"

"Dickless," Sai interrupted. "You're merely repeating my statement and you can only rephrase it for so long."

"_Saku_—Okay, okay," Naruto cut himself off before rounding on to Sai with ire. "_You shouldn't be drawing Sakura-chan like that!_"

"The Bushy One didn't seem to mind."

"The Bush—Wow, Sai. You really have this knack for making things sound so wrong."

Sai paused to raise his head in question. Naruto had a hand over his face so he returned to his drawing, deciding not to let the strange statement bother him. "He wept, however. He almost injured my wrist with his _'infinite joy at the youthful expression of the springtime of Sakura-san's womanhood.'_"

Naruto tilted his head, deciding to ignore how grossed out he was. "So—what's this got to do with earlier?"

"It was a gift," Sai said. "I drew it with Ugly in mind and it belonged to her even before it was done. It was hers but she didn't know, and she didn't accept it when I gave it to her."

"You can't blame her for rejecting it!"

"Of course," he agreed. "I planned to draw her wrestling against a swine with tentacles. Perhaps she would have accepted it then."

"Swine with tenta—_Where the fuck do you get these things?_"

"Didn't you know?" Sai asked, mildly surprised. "Kakashi-sempai's book said women love tentacles. And since Ugly likes to wrestle, I realized that I may as well draw them together." He tilted his head in thought. "There is also a chapter mentioning men who love tentacles."

"Please stop."

"It seems I assumed wrong about you."

"Fucking stop!—Please." Naruto shook his head, still a bit green around the edges. "And I'm sure Sakura-chan would have done more than try to throw you over the bridge for that."

Sai shrugged, not taking offense. "Her rejection is irrelevant. The drawing will still belong to her."

"But you gave the drawing to Geji-mayu, na?"

He nodded. "It now belongs to two. The person I have in mind and the person who accepted." Before Naruto could ask, Sai went on. "The drawing is intrinsic to Ugly—she is the essence of my art."

"... Stop shitting me with your artsy-fartsy words."

"You cannot separate Sakura from the drawing because it is of her and created for her," Sai explained.

"But you're the one who made it. Shouldn't it be the drawing came to because _you_ made it? So wouldn't it belong more to you than to her?"

A pause. "But the inspiration belongs to her."

"But the talent comes from you," Naruto argued.

"Dickless. Talent is worthless if you are not inspired to use it. If I do not work on my art, my talent will go to waste, and I would never find my inspiration if I do not go to work."

A short moment of thought. "So you're saying is, you work hard to be inspired to draw, then Sakura-chan inspired you to do it?" Naruto leaned back with a short laugh. "Heh. I've always known hard work and determination are better than genius and talent!" He tapped his thigh. "But I still think the drawing belongs to you. A part of you went into that too. That won't go away. I mean, I could look at something you made and I'd quickly know you made it even if you didn't tell me."

Sai paused once more. That was reasonable.

"There's just a hentai aura on it, see." He snorted and then sobered immediately. "So then, that'd make it that the drawing belongs to you, and you made it as a gift for Sakura-chan and she didn't take it but Lee did." Naruto straightened up. "Hey, maybe that's it! Kakashi-sensei's heart would be your drawing, and when he asked me if I would accept it, it's like when you gave it to Sakura-chan but she didn't take it! When sensei said he could give me his heart right now and expect someone else to give it back to him, it'd be like you trying to give it to Sakura-chan but it'd be _Geji-mayu_ you'd expect to give it back to you if you ask for it!" He recoiled with mock-horror. "Eww, you gave your heart to _Lee_!"

This time, Sai managed to roll his eyes in a non-threatening manner.

"Couldn't resist, it was golden!" Naruto cackled, eyes dancing with hilarity. "Sai and Lee, sitting by the tree! K-I-S-S-I-N-G!"

"Kissing," Sai corrected, "It's pronounced _kissing_."

Naruto threw him a deadpan stare. "You like to suck the fun out of everything, yeah?" He gave a slight chuckle to indicate he was joking at a blank look, then returned to their more serious conversation. "So those parts that belonged to you but you didn't know? That'd be Sakura-chan not knowing the drawing belongs to her because she inspired you to do it. Na?

"It kinda sucks, doesn't it?" he went on, almost to himself. "I mean, I can't draw worth shit, and if I try _so_ hard to do it for a really really long time and then it gets rejected? It's like _I'm_ the one being rejected. I'd have poured a hell lot over it and it'd hurt like a mother if it's not appreciated." Naruto turned to him, the silence of blue acute once more. "Doesn't it kinda hurt a little? You're this—artist person and your art's being thrown away? Your art stuff's this—this major part of you, na?

"But not everyone'd appreciate what you do," he murmured, a note of melancholy wrapping around his words, around a world only he had lived in and survived. "Not everyone would take to you and stuff, even if you give your best. Even—" Naruto's breath hitched, eyes widening, "—even if you give your all."

_It's not silence._

Sai didn't understand.

_His eyes are not silent._

He couldn't understand.

_(how could the wound in someone's eyes hurt him so deep inside?)_

He let go of his brush and raised his hand to the blond head. Long wisps of soft sunlight failed to hide the hurt, the pain, the loneliness in bright eyes Sai had come to love.

_(because those eyes may not be his but they belong to one he has taken to)_

He still may know next to nothing about love—

_(belongs to one he accepts, one he belongs to in some way)_

—but he knew Uzumaki Naruto and perhaps, it was enough.

"This belongs to you."

Naruto's head shot up. His hand dropped to a shoulder at the sudden motion, and he noticed that Naruto wasn't meeting his eyes.

It seemed he was struggling again.

"Eh?"

With his other hand, Sai lifted the scroll. The picture was facing him, he made sure of that, and he nodded inside with satisfaction when Naruto blinked, comprehension dawning and eyes lighting up as they tried to sneak a peek.

But he had to say something first.

"Dickless."

Naruto looked at Sai, finally.

"I appreciate you."

_(that shy smile, so small, was nothing short of beautiful)_

He turned the scroll around.

"Even your shortcomings."

An ominous silence.

And then—

"_Yarou! I'll fucking **kill **you!"_

As he darted away from a raging blond hurricane, Sai heard a sound he had never heard before.

_"Come back here you **asshole**!"_

He didn't know he could laugh.

* * *

"So how long do you plan this fantasizing on my super hot back?"

Sai ignored the question. He had been searching the past hour, visiting establishments he knew that Naruto frequented—tricky, as learned soon enough, traces of his chakra practically embedded in every nook and cranny of the village—and it was only because of a passing fancy that Sai decided to enter, instead of simply passing by, the Yamanaka Flower Shop.

_"Gorgeous. Good afternoon."_

Yamanaka Ino had been quite antagonistic, throwing him a glower that was almost impressive—_"Stop calling me that!"_—transforming the bouquet of tulips in her hand into potential weapons of mutilation. The sudden smile on her face had made Sai take an unconscious step back. The resemblance with Ugly had been uncanny but the aura was darker. And her voice—_"So how can I help you, okyaku-**sama**?"_—dripping syrup of murderous cheer—_"It better be **expensive**. Perhaps our Kadupul flowers?"_—had even caused the fine hairs of his nape to rise.

_"You are unhappy with me,"_ he had commented.

_"Because you mean the **opposite**,"_ she had practically spat out, the blinding smile gone—he half-expected a Katon to fly out of her mouth. _"And I actually thought you're **hot**!"_

Sai had glanced down at the exposed planes of his abs—the afternoon glare did nothing to hide its musculature. He frowned, lost still in his thoughts. Why did people like to assume he was hot? While it was true that it was an unusually hotter afternoon, he wore his clothes for shinobi practicality. No one assumed Naruto was cold, he mused, eyes fixed on the jumpsuit of his crouching friend. Why did he wear that when it was causing him to perspire more, anyway?

_"Noted,"_ he had said instead, not keen on a confrontation. _"I did not come here to buy, however. I am looking for Naruto."_

_"Naruto?"_

—and what was it with people repeating whatever he said? It was mentioned nowhere in _How to Win Civilians and Influence Shinobi._

_"He only comes by Fridays_," she had continued. The eye unconcealed by the long fringes of her hair fairly glowed with curiosity. _"Why?"_

_"He was supposed to meet Sakura for his last check-up,"_ Sai had answered. Ino had always been frank in her manner though she was never malicious about it—unless, of course, she was teasing. And teaching him the finer arts of flirting and seduction. _"She implied physical aggravation if I don't arrive with him in the next thirty minutes."_

Ino had giggled, shaking her head. He watched white-gold play behind her, a silken curtain. _"Forehead girl, always so violent. To think she was this shrinking violet when we were kids." _She had gone back to her work, which he had observed as cutting stems and leaves with a pair of scissors he hadn't seen earlier. He remembered wondering what she meant. _"Shrinking violet means **shy**, Sai. She had never been a color or a flower and she wasn't shrinking."_

_"Ah, I see."_

She was an artist too, he had noticed, had seen in how she took an ordinary translucent paper to wrap around the trimmed flowers. There was a care in her fingers, a gentleness in her grip—but he had to look for Naruto, and he couldn't stay to watch however much he might like to.

_"Hey, can I ask a favor?"_

He had paused, in the act of leaving. _"Naruto's been looking for these seeds for months now. Shikamaru got them from the Suna girl but he had to go on a mission and he asked me to give it to him. Can you do it for me? Thanks!"_

And there it was, a small nondescript sack shoved over his palms. _"Of course."_

_"I'm not sure where he could be but he said he's been planting somewhere with a big plot,"_ Ino had continued. A thin roll of teased ribbon and the new bouquet joined the growing pile on her left. She had looked up, still addressing him. _"It's his new project_—_Oh! Can you bring him this cactus for me too? He thinks Ukki-chan is missing Ukki-kun again. Thanks again!"_

Sai had blinked down at the potted plant now in his hands as well. He knew Ukki-kun. It was mentioned in Kakashi-sempai's file. _"Aa."_

_"So why still here?"_ Ino had asked after a beat. She was royalty, dismissing a servant. Sai couldn't find it in him to feel offended—she had helped in her own way, after all. _"Naruto's probably there. Where **'there'** is is the problem."_

A place with a big plot. Which had to be vacant for Naruto to do his project unimpeded. Konoha may not be a small village but there were only a few unoccupied land, and a simple process of elimination was enough for him. Because, if Sai were Naruto, there could only be one location.

_But why?_

And he was right.

_Why here?_

"Dickless, why are you planting here?"

Naruto waved his spade, back still turned to him. The rays of the afternoon, audacious in its brightness, were absorbed by his dark jumpsuit stained with earth and grime—but still there was light, flying with the breeze like ribbons around flowers, flickering in hues of yellow and gold.

"My project."

It was afternoon, bright and beautiful.

He blinked, slowly, his mind registering the words. "Yes, but why here?" He reached the other ninja, his shadow landing upon orange and black and dancing yellow-gold, gently putting his load down beside the busy young gardener who refused to be moved.

"Because anywhere else, I don't give a shit," Naruto replied. "Besides—" at this he turned around, flashing Sai a cheeky grin, blue bright beneath his shadow, shining light beneath gray, "—I'm not sure anyone could eat this much tomatoes. Y'know?"

Sai did.

"So what did you bring me?" he went on, going back to digging but not before glancing to his side—and doing a double-take, almost giving himself whiplash, gold slicing the empty air. "Yosh, _Ukki-kun version 4!_ Ukki-chan won't be so lonely again!"

_(what about you?)_

Eyes curved into happy crescents as Naruto cuddled the pot to his cheek, expertly evading the cactus needles—spiky green against tan against streaks of brown dirt, a fusion of life under a sky aglow with gold.

_(but you will never let it pull you down_—_)_

It was quite a sight.

_(_—_won't you?)_

A lazy eye opened, a stunning shade of blue.

_(because it **is **you)_

Sai took a step back, startled. It was—

_(only you)_

_Fascinating..._

It was _fascinating_ and it _ached_, the artless little scene—and Sai couldn't stomach such a nauseating sight, view such _glory_ in the ordinary, and he had to close his eyes because the afternoon sun was raining light on _(jinchuuriki-shinobi-person-**friend**) _Uzumaki Naruto with hands cradling an already-loved plant it was blinding _(he was longing)_ it was stunning _(he was drowning) _perfection so absurd _(so unreal)_ he could only stand paralyzed, desperately grasping for _(breathe)_ breathing green and _(live)_ living brown and _(sway)_ swaying yellow and _(glow)_ glowing blue as seconds left him forever _(and ever)_ and ever _(forever)._

It was fleeting it was sickening it was maddening it was—

"So what's the other one?"

—gone.

_(gone, that moment, that which could have been eternal, grounded by a voice so real, so human)_

"Seeds you have been looking for."

Though somehow—

Naruto's spade dropped and he hurriedly grabbed the little sack. "_Fuck!_ For real?" His eyes widened. "Fuck, it _is_ real! Shit, this is so hard to find! Well not as hard as Koushaku but still! _Fuuuuuck!_" The round eyes rose to him, excited and pleased. "Sai, I could _kiss_ you!"

Somehow, he didn't mind.

_(imperfect, temporal_—_infinitely better)_

Without his bidding, Sai's mouth turned up at a corner. "Then you must do it now, Dickless, because you will be dead in ten minutes according to Ugly."

"... Ha?"

"Your last check-up is today."

"My last—_fuck!"_

"Not your last fuck," Sai corrected, inwardly amused, "you haven't gotten your first and you are about to die soon."

"Asshole!"

"But yes, perhaps a few minutes is enough for you," he added, loving the angry red the previously cheery blond was now sporting. It was so easy it was amusing. "Let's change the kiss to fuck, then."

Strangely becoming, too.

Naruto shot up, justifiably furious. "Sai-hentai, you're such a bast—" angry blue rounded in alarm, "—_gaaaaah! My legs!_"

Sai knew this would happen. So smoothly it was as if it had been that way all along, a bewildered Naruto suddenly found himself on the other ninja's back, pins and needles shooting up his legs that had been stuck in one position for crouching for so long. His arms, hanging limply on his side, reflexively grabbed on a pale neck when Sai took a step forward to begin a swift run.

"Oi, put me down!" he yelped, stung by the cold wind now slapping his face. He hissed when an attempted kick seemed to cause him more pain. "Put me down, _dammit!_ Kidnapper!"

"Your legs need to reacquaint themselves with motion," Sai pointed out, speaking normally as if he wasn't now darting all over the village's rooftops. The scenery passed them in a haze of colors. "You only have three minutes left. Also, you are not a kid."

"Put me down, everyone's looking at me!"

"The sun is still by the zenith, Dickless. No one will look up to risk its brightness. They also don't care," he pointed out. Speeding shinobi weren't new in a hidden village full of ninja, after all. If anything, the civilians were more suspicious if they can see a ninja completely—to them, shinobi were meant to be seen in blurs, or not at all.

This didn't seem to assure the other, however, if the more intensified flailing was any indication. "Yo—_Put me down!_"

At a final turn, Sai did.

"You made me _wait_ for two _hours_ under the _sun_!"

Right into the arms of one amused jounin-sensei with one very pissed off medic chuunin.

_"Uwaaaaaa! Sakura-chan!"_

The afternoon sun, blinding, captured the moment just beautifully.

* * *

A pleasurable excursion, an outdoor social gathering. Primary purpose is to eat outdoors.

_Picnic._

Why they had to _'make a holiday of it,'_ Sai would never understand. They were ninja—_'eating outdoors'_ was something they did almost all the time. They sometimes had missions where they gathered with civilians in the open air, disguised as civilians as well—he believed that counted as _'outdoor social gathering.' _About _'pleasurable excursion'_—

—that time with Naruto in the onsen counted as one, didn't it?

"Dude, you made it!"

So what did they require a _picnic _for again?

Sai raised a hand to acknowledge Inuzuka Kiba's exuberant greeting—he truly was like a dog, excited to greet anyone he saw—and looked ahead of him when the latter took off. He had read up on picnics the night before at the behest of Ugly, and he had initially thought there were intricate ceremonies associated with this event organized without his knowledge since the week before. Especially after he heard Gorgeous and Ugly debating the merits of inviting Aburame Shino—they were worried about ants, somehow, or perhaps picnic custom dictated that a member of the Aburame Clan couldn't join?—until Hyuuga Hinata came to the stuttering scarlet aid of her teammate.

Ah, how he remembered the chilly glare of the head of Hyuuga Ichizoku—he and Dickless had to bring Hinata home when she collapsed and fainted, as all of Naruto's yelling of approval into her ears _("You're a true friend, Hinata! Shino must be awful pleased he's friends with you!")_ must have shattered her eardrums and made her lose her balance. Or it could have simply been her breasts taking its toll on her center of gravity after years of carrying them around—he had held them in his hands en route and they were quite heavy. He wondered how she could carry them around. Her spine must be really strong.

His spine wasn't weak but it still hurt after Hyuuga Neji attempted to break it in half. Or it could be after Naruto kicked him hard when he conducted his weight test with the unconscious Hinata. Either way, it was Naruto's fault—had Naruto simply allowed him to finish his examination, Hyuuga wouldn't have responded so violently. It was only thanks to Tenten-san that the unwarranted assault halted.

_"You control your bitch well, Tenten-san. You are certainly the one for him."_

It was quite revealing too, how similar the cousins truly were—if only by how scarlet their faces could become.

"T-Thank you f-f-for bringing m-me home l-last n-n-night, S-S-Sai-san."

Sai nodded back, aware of the piercing white glare coming from behind the timid—and unaware, he supposed—Hyuuga. "The pleasure is all mine."

"Pro-tip, Sai-san," a cheery voice chimed in, and a glance to his left revealed a kunai-wielding Tenten, "don't use _pleasure_ when you're around Neji. I won't be around you forever."

"What did you do now?" groaned Sakura, and then in the same beat lifted her hand with a look of determination. "I don't want to know. I really do—_Lee, take her before she says something!_" she yelled, noticing the flash of mischief in the older kunoichi's eyes. Her pleading look at the Hyuuga prodigy was met with his departing back.

"Your happiness is my joy, Sakura-san!" Rock Lee exclaimed, suddenly sprouting before Sai like a green mushroom. Adoring dark eyes immediately shifted to his teammate—_"Greetings, Sai-san! You are becoming youthful more and more! Let us do the manly pose! Yosh, you're a natural!"—_earnest and friendly. "We must be off, Tenten! To prepare!"

"Breasts," supplied Tenten in a wicked whisper. She turned to her teammate and nodded, as if she hadn't said anything at all.

The green eyes widened, the smart brain behind the wide forehead quickly arriving at a conclusion. She placed a hand over said wide forehead, exasperated. There was also a light blush on her face—from embarrassment, perhaps. "Leprosy. Malaria. Lupus—"

"All set?" came a yell. Sai looked up, Ugly's litany now a fading echo, the half-thought of the strangeness of her reaction to the word a mere memory. That was Dickless, he was certain. There was the electric excitement and the volume itself. But—

_Where is he?_

It seemed everyone was here, he realized, his eyes traveling the width of the former training ground in search of his other teammate. The ones around him suddenly took off to different locations, the rest standing up or stretching—everyone was accounted for. And by _everyone_ he meant of the most talented generation of Konohagakure no Sato, each one performing some form of—

_Warm-up?_

What was happening?_ 'Warm-up'_ didn't appear in the entry explaining _picnic_.

And suddenly—

"Ikuzo!"

The field exploded with killing intent.

_"Shannaro!"_

Sai vanished.

_"Nikudan Sensha!"_

His body acted even before his mind could think. He was a Root, the perfect soldier—he operated on reflex, with the least thought imaginable, and every fiber of his being whispered words only his nerves could comprehend and with a speed that even he had never thought possible of him, he was standing in front of Uzumaki Naruto, an opened scroll in one hand and a brush in the other, _precious-save-bond-protect_ the insistent refrain in his ears.

_"Choujo Giga."_

It was a reversal, a part of his mind dimly noticed. This time his rampaging creations were defending.

"Wha—?"

Defending Naruto.

He watched the inevitable collision of rolling man and roaring beasts, a perfect blankness on his face wiped clean of humanity. This was no time to remember that these people were familiar, that these people were ones he would cherish and protect. He sensed his friends _(for they were friends, not comrades, friends he had forged a bond with, vowed to cherish and protect) _stop around him, standing around them in a wide circle to trap a friend in.

To attack _him_. _Hurt him._

_(**him**, his most precious friend)_

How _could_ they?

He watched with blank eyes as the ones _(his friends)_ before him settled one by one, sensed the others _(his friends)_ behind him settle too. They wore varying expressions and they all looked familiar, and Sai understood with the force of a powerful kick to the head that it would not be easy for him.

Never easy for him again.

Sakura _(Ugly, Pink Girl)_ was the first to move. She made her way to him, that familiar look of exasperation darkening her green eyes. Yet there was a new sheen within them, and it was this unfamiliarity that roused him from the false sense of security of a rampaging Haruno Sakura. He edged back, his right arm raised, forming a barrier with his body between her and Naruto. He ignored a familiar stifled laughter _(Yamanaka Ino, who could unveil the secrets of the mind)_, the muttered _"troublesome" (Nara Shikamaru, who could divine the ways of the shadows)_, and a piercing stare _(Hyuuga Neji, who could see far better than ordinary eyes)._

"S-S-Sai-san, it's—it's not what y-you think—"

_(Did she not profess to care?)_

"Dude, the fuck?"

_(Was he not one of **his** earliest friends?)_

"This is just a case of misunderstanding, everyone."

_(She was the most understanding, why was she following this treachery?)_

"Sakura can sort him out."

_(He was the most accepting, why was he leading this betrayal?)_

A shuffling sound. An exhaled breath. Behind him, Naruto was beginning to wake up.

"Sai—?"

_(it would shock anyone beyond belief to be attacked by their friends)_

Sai tilted his head to dodge when Sakura's hand raised, a prelude to her strike. Familiar gestures wouldn't fool him—his body tightened on itself, ready to spring with the least notice. His eyes assessed her with a coldness unforced and yet it wasn't really as focused as it was before _(because once you've seen the light you can't go back to the dark), _and Sakura sighed, the new sheen on her eyes getting brighter as she formed a small smile. "Baka," she murmured. She was shaking her head again. "Sai-baka."

He told himself to ignore it, the fondness in her voice. The way she said his name. The brightness in her eyes as soft as her smile.

_(the warmth spreading in his chest at her gentle green gaze)_

"I can't believe you did that!" came the inevitable outburst behind him. "I seriously can't believe it!"

_(even as his heart squeezed at how his friend must have felt)_

Sai nodded, almost sadly. He couldn't believe it either.

"Like, for _real?_"

Wasn't it enough that Uchiha betrayed him?

"You just—just _poofed!_—before me or something!—and stopped Chouji and _shit!_"

Must they bet—

"... Pardon?"

"You!" Naruto shouted, turning him around with unwarranted force and pointing at him with accusatory fervor. "You stopped Chouji!"

Sai blinked at the bewildered blond. "He was attacking you."

"Attac—" Naruto stopped in mid-word, the statement settling in his mind. Understanding dawned in round eyes and then—

"Dickless?"

—he was _grinning_.

"Bakaaaaaa_aaaaa!_" Naruto exclaimed, giggling and snickering. "We're _playing!_ Haven't you played _Dorobo_ before?" He rolled his eyes at his own question. "Wait, of course you haven't. Stupid."

_Play?_

"Anou sa, we all take turns as the thief and who catches the thief gets what he _'stole.'_ That's the prize. Look." Naruto rummaged in his pocket and, his face lighting up, abruptly withdrew his hand. "I found this when I was traveling with Ero-sennin," he said, sadness tempering his smile at the mention of the deceased Sannin. "The old woman said it's special, but she was really just pulling my leg 'coz I found a lot of it when we got lost on a beach," he added, making a face. He nodded, continuing. "So this is my prize but I get to keep it if no one catches me in five minutes."

"We're not hurting Naruto," Sakura added, her smile tilted higher. "We're just playing. You can join us, we can eat after. We haven't played the game since we're in the Academy. It's also Naruto's first time."

His stiff stance finally loosened. He straightened up and replaced his weapons, a lightness permeating his body, a foolhardy yet irresistible notion that he could fly amusing him and convincing him that he could for one happy second. He had a long way to go in learning of social interactions, that was true, but at least he wasn't so hopeless in the ways of caring for his friend.

_(**he** wasn't betrayed again and it was all that mattered right then)_

_Their_ friend.

"I want to."

"All head back and let Naruto hide again!" Sakura announced, her voice carrying over the entire ground. She wasn't even finished when the rest quickly complied, leaving her, Naruto, and Sai standing in the middle of the clearing. Sai observed that she was still smiling, and he realized with a start that her smile was the warmest he had ever received from her.

"I'm going too," she said, breaking the lull, before turning to him once more. Her eyes were liquid spring aglow with affection. "Sai... Doing that... You're so—so—" Sakura trailed off and sighed. "Sai-baka," she repeated instead.

_(blue wasn't the only color of beauty)_

With a last, lingering look—_"And do a better job of hiding, Naruto-no-baka!"—_Haruno Sakura vanished in a blur of pink. He turned to follow, curious about the game—he had never played a game before. It appeared to be a challenging game, in retrospect ideal for a ninja like him. _Right up his alley_ was what the others would have said.

"Seriously," came a quiet voice. Sai stopped.

"Why'd you do it?"

He turned to face his friend.

_(shadow and sun warred within him, without)_

Sai didn't recognize him.

_(why does he hide when his eyes are so bright?)_

"My body moved by itself."

_(like the memories of a star from light years away_—_)_

A sharp intake of breath and suddenly the clouds were breaking and the shadows were clearing and it was blue, blue, an impossible _blue _across the lighted afternoon skies.

_(he wanted so much to grasp it, paint a paradise with it_—_)_

"You're such an idiot."

_(capture its heart and soul, breathe a new life with it_—_)_

"Body moved by itself—"

_(press his fingers against it, feel its truth and reality_—_)_

Naruto raised his head, his hair a halo of wild gold.

_(touch it to his lips and taste the essence of eternity)_

"What kind of idiot says that?"

_(_—_he had never seen blue like that before)_

* * *

Months later and the other half of a bond had returned. Something was wrong, however, and it weighed heavily in his mind in lurid snapshots of red and gray—it had been hours since the attack, hours since Kakashi-sempai had ordered him to follow their youngest teammate, hours since he had overpowered the swarming shinobi blocking his path. It had been hours since he had caught up and Sai could still hear the silence ringing in his ears.

He glanced behind him, to Naruto, barely alive but plodding on, Uchiha on his back unconscious of the other's pain.

_"Dickless..."_

But was that unusual?

_"Naruto-kun."_

Uchiha never cared.

_"He wants to be free_—_"_

Never knew.

_"_—_I can't let him go, Sai_—_"_

And perhaps—

_"_—_I'm too selfish_—_"_

Never will.

_"_—_I can't."_

The rain finally stopped and pinpricks of light—slowly, defiantly—broke through the clouds hiding the sun from the world. Droplets of water clung on branches and leaves, sparkling like the river he had watched by the sunset, like the tears he never saw but felt one distant afternoon. The road stretched long in a muddy promise, serpentine and wet—ahead the village gates waited, open for her lost children finally coming home.

_"Naruto-kun_—_"_

The footsteps behind him picked up. They told of weariness, purpose, of unwavering devotion.

_"_—_You should have let him go."_

A step past.

_"I can't I can't I can't_—_"_

Two.

_"_—_I had to do something_—_"_

And then—

_"_—_I'd do anything_—_"_

Naruto let go.

_"_—_anything—"_

Sai caught him.

_You should have let him go._

* * *

"Godaime-sama believes you shouldn't push yourself too much."

Naruto shrugged. "Don't care. Besides, it gives her more time to drink." He threw Sai a sideways glance. "And since when'd you start telling me shit she should be telling me herself? Just 'coz I—"

"You have been planting. Your wound—"

"—don't like people cutting me off," Naruto growled, glaring at the pale ninja. "And yes, I've been planting. Happy now?"

"Why do you do it?"

"Yeah, go ask me like I'm a serial ass-raper, why don't you!" Naruto exclaimed, before abruptly raising his hands to his mouth at the shocked looks of the people around them. He scratched his nape sheepishly as he bobbed his head in apology, mouthing a stream of _sorry-sorry-sorry_ to appease the scandalized listeners—when the last person had looked away, he turned to Sai with a scowl, his voice lower but darker. "Now look what you've done! Stop babysitting!"

"I didn't do anything," Sai countered mildly. "You want me to ask you like you—"

"Shut up!" he hissed, looking around them. "Say that and you're _dead!_"

"Why do you do it?" Sai asked instead again, obeying. He fell in step beside his friend, contented to follow despite knowing the other's destination. He heard no reply but Sai had expected nothing less—lately Naruto had been keeping to himself, immersed in various activities that left even the Hokage herself perplexed. Among everyone it was he who had the most contact with Naruto, and while the latter confided in him now and then, there were things he had been keeping to himself.

Like his project.

What truly happened _that_ day was another.

Naruto rounded the last corner, entering a hallway with only one room. Sai decided to forge on. He just had to try.

"Why do you do it when you will never tell?"

"Because he'll like it, okay?" Naruto exploded, whirling to him with a suddenness that took him by surprise. His own eyes widened, unconsciously taking in the fury of orange and gold and wild wild blue. "I don't care if he doesn't know! He likes it and it's good enough for me!"

"Why—" there was something thick, hot, blocking the base of his throat, "Why must you settle for good enough?"

Naruto stilled.

"Why does he get what he likes?" Sai asked—voice soft, edge sharp. "Why does he do what he wants?" His voice grew softer and softer, sharper and sharper. "Why does he have the best part?" in the base of his throat, a flaring, "Why?" in his eyes, a burning, "Why, tell me!"

A hand on the doorknob. Tight.

"Because it's _him._"

The knob twisted.

"And I—"

The door swung open.

"I'm _me._"

He turned to Sai, eyes blue and open for every secret to shine through.

_(tranquility)_

"It's enough for me."

_(tranquility wrought of every conquered unhappiness)_

"Naruto?"

_(ineffable, indefinable, the acceptance in his eyes)_

Blue eyes widened.

_(they would always shine, his blue blue eyes)_

Uchiha Sasuke had woken up.

* * *

"Naruto."

He stopped, an arm's length across him. It was late afternoon and on this dusty road twisting of loneliness and tears, only two people could exist and one of them would never stay for long.

Sai had never felt something like this before.

"I will. Just tell me."

Naruto tilted his head away, the last vestiges of the sun trapped in silver and blindness. "I've to do this alone. It's the only way to end."

Sai turned away, unable to look at Naruto any longer. It reminded him of the afternoon he sought to trap the essence in those eyes—to understand how the other would change without it, to understand how the other would affect the world without it. He had wanted to understand the secrets in those eyes, why they were silent, why they shone, why they spoke of so many things.

Why they were a blue he had never seen before.

And now—now, he knew.

_(in the end it was he who was affected, he who was changed)_

"Don't piss them too much or they'd die." He turned his eyes against his will. The teasing smile beneath the metal made something inside him shiver, something inside him crawl. To his consternation, Sai felt something prickling on the corners of his eyes. Hot. Sharp.

He had seen this happen before. To someone, someone precious to him.

"I'll kick you in the face. Hard."

Someone whose eyes he couldn't see anymore.

"And then it'd collapse and you'd die and you'd be too fucking dead and humiliated to show it ever again. Got that?"

_(were these tears in his eyes?)_

"Hai."

_(was that thick voice his? )_

"Hokage-sama."

_(was he about to cry?)_

A grin, blinding. It must be so, because Sai couldn't see and the sun was near descending and he must have swallowed it burning because his throat was achingaching_aching_ with unbearable heat.

"Good."

And his artistic hands were trembling and his false smile was quivering and he was shakingshaking_shaking_ like a lone leaf in a branch against the cold approaching night.

_Please stay._

Naruto turned to leave.

_If you can't_—

"Don't die," he whispered. His hand hovered on silver, over leaf. Landed on yellow, pale and heavy, strands swaying like ripe hay on a field full of promise.

—_I'll go where you want me to be._

And though it wavered, that bright smile, it still bore of a promise.

_I will._

"Sai-baka."

_Tell me, I will._

"I still have to see our story book, na?"

And then he turned away, took a little-big step. The first of many steps that would take Naruto away.

"I—" it was so hard, so hard to speak "I—" so hard to see "I—" so hard to breathe.

Naruto paused.

Sai looked to the waters.

"I accept you."

So hard to let go.

"I know."

By the reflection of the waters, Sai watched Naruto leave.

_When I said I will catch you_—

His eyes squinted shut against the golden afternoon.

—_it means I will never let you fall._

* * *

Ten years later, Sai made his way to a forgotten lonely dock as the sun prepared its descent over Konohagakure no Sato.

Those last words years past still alive in his mind, his heart raced with anticipation as he sought the friend who had left, his heart nearly bursting with affection when he sighted the familiar strands of gold that could only be his. He felt his breath catch at the tranquil beauty before him—_it had been so long since he had been struck like so and in his heart, in his eyes, was an ache he had felt before_—at this familiar hunched back against the brilliance of this sky, against the crystal of the waters reflecting gold and black and the brilliance of the setting sun.

And Sai wanted so much to see them, those eyes, blue and open for every secret to shine through. To see the waters in them, the sun, the hopes and the dreams and the heart that had always been there. The acceptance, unconditional, that had always, always been there.

Uzumaki Naruto believed and it shone in his eyes.

He looked up. Far beyond the fading sun were stars coming alive, awakening one by one to greet the silver moon. Soon it would be dusk and night would fall again, and then they would rest to greet the new day bright with promise.

Sai smiled. Naruto needed to rest and had come home to do so.

He reached out his hand. It landed on soft sunlight and he felt the young man stir.

"Come."

Silver glinted in response as Naruto turned. Sai believed in the blue he had seen before.

Will see again.

"'M tired. Go 'way."

"I'll carry you," he said. The warmth in his own eyes was wrapped around his voice. "I'll always carry you."

Sai had once thought that the world couldn't contain the multitude of Naruto's smiles. He realized, finally, it was so because Naruto's smiles made up the world.

And this smile—white—against the approaching dusk, was the smile of his acceptance, the smile of coming home.

Naruto was home.

"Thanks, Sai."

And so was he.


	24. Chapter 20

**A/N:** So... hi. Horrible writer says sorry. Especially because horrible writer couldn't respond to a lot of reviews. For some reason, review replies lead to dead ends. Don't know why.

I'm so sorry.

And since my last update (12/30/10 - gah, too bloody long ago!), still no laptop. I reckon I'm going to die without ever owning one. Probably.**  
**

So... here's chapter 20. Or, according to **Meru**: It was like "SO MUCH ANGST. SASUKE, WHYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY" and "Sasuke, why are you getting boner at inappropriate moment?"

(I can't stop sporfling whenever I reread that. Thanks for the awesome!)

Please tell me what you guys think. **And if you have a twitter account, do tell me if you don't mind me following, yeah?**

- _July 23, 2012_

* * *

**The Sky  
**

_by __Hic Iacet Mori_

* * *

**Chapter 20**

"Heee_eeyyyyy_. Aren't you planning to do something fun? Like, y'know, maybe something different from closing your eyes and looking like a pretty-corpse-sprawled-on-the-grass kind of _fun_?"

Sasuke's eyes snapped open.

"Na... Maybe it's just me, but I'm not too wild on seeing you slobbering a river and killing the innocent grasses," a snort, "And I thought you love vegetables too."

A pale hand automatically reached up to a mouth, only to curl in irritation when the idiot started laughing.

"Gotcha!"

"Moron," he bit out, frowning in a valiant effort to staunch the pout he could feel forming. He was a grown man and he didn't _pout_, damn it. "Grasses aren't vegetables." _And I don't slobber_, he wanted to add, but he couldn't find a way to make it sound remotely mature.

"Says slobber-bunny!" said moron cackled. Sasuke shook his head, a warm feeling of exasperation and fondness welling within despite himself. He was irritated, yes, being woken thus hardly inspired positive responses, but he didn't question these feelings. They just felt natural. Expected.

_What a terminal idiot._

Sasuke slowly sat up and stretched, eyes squinting reflexively against the brightness of the sky. A few seconds sooner his vision adjusted, and he turned to his right to behold the laughing loud blond perched on the tree.

_He's a kid again_, he observed. A kid in green and white, sitting on the same branch with his back propped on the trunk, a leg bent with his forearm draped carelessly on his knee as his other leg dangled below. His face, dappled with the shadows of the lush dancing leaves, was angled to the right and tilted up to the sky, eyes hidden completely beneath unkempt hair of yellow. Sasuke could feel the wind once more—it's where he was, Sasuke realized, wherever the blond went the wind went too—cool and soothing against his skin, could see the same wind running through bright gold strands unrestrained, untamed.

He wondered briefly which was brighter. Which was blinding him more. The sun that never was, or the hair that shone like one?

"Usuratonkachi."

The lit sky?

An irritated huff. "Can't you ever stop calling me that, yarou?"

Sasuke looked at him, puzzled. What did that mean, _ever?_ What had he said that warranted that epithet, _yarou?_

His brow furrowed. It was so near yet he couldn't grasp it. What had he called the kid?

Said kid threw his hands up in the air—looked at the sky as if blaming it for all his woes, real or imagined. "_Gah_, forget it!" he screeched, and Sasuke knew the other was glaring at blue though he sensed that the screech wasn't real, was joking. "Jerk," came softer, a caress of an afterthought.

He was touched, for unknown reasons, but Sasuke wasn't about to let it go. "What is it?"

Another huff had longer strands of hair flying up before the shadowed face. Arms in long orange sleeves crossed over a chest, lips giving the impression of a pout, of_ injustice. "Che. Goes to show how comfy you are with insulting me you don't even notice it!"_

Pale brows furrowed. Insulting?

"_See?!_"

Annoyed dark eyes attempted to flay the young ninja now in blue and orange garb. "Will you make sense for once?" Sasuke intoned with deceptive calm, standing up with an ominous slowness as a hand unconsciously landed on his hip—a faint thought that he hadn't done this gesture in years lived and died in the same breath. "And why," he went on, "do you keep _changing?_"

"Oh shut your wet hole, bastard," the teenager scoffed, waving a hand with fingers splayed wide and light filtering through each gap—as if the sun was his hand, burning in his fingertips, breaking past the chill where Sasuke had forced down a sudden shiver _(shut your wet hole your wet hole wet wet hole)_. "I don't control what happens here. _Seriously_, there'd be ramen rivers and chocolate frogs and orange plants here and there and there'd be _hot girls_ fawning all over _me and you'd be __begging_ to be my friend but _nooooooo._ You have to be a controlling jerk and _control_ and look, I'm here in your oh-so-wonderfully-exciting-I'm-shaking-with-_gid stupid world!"_

Sasuke stared, deadpan. He was torn between being proud of his mental faculties or ashamed of same mental faculties for easily understanding the inanities spewed forth by the geyser of idiocy. The neutral part—the part not debating on a proper reaction—was reeling with shock at how _easily_ it was for him to understand it in the first place.

"—Idiot," he said, the insult offset by his blank tone. How had that made _any _sense to him, _how? "There's no such word as __gid_."

"Greater idiot," the blond retorted, so casual in his conviction it made Sasuke twitch, "it's like a—_what's that shit?_ —yeah, noun?—_noun_ thing of giddy. Gid, _giddy. _You_ know_. Cream, _creamy_. Dirt dirty blur blurry shit shitty. That stuff."

He raised his hand and gently rubbed his forehead. Sasuke couldn't believe they're talking about this. Couldn't believe he was a part of this at all. "_Giddiness_, biggest idiot," he enunciated slowly, diplomatically, "You meant _giddiness_. _GID_ is an acronym," he went on. He had chanced a glance at one of Kabuto's books out of extreme boredom, "Not a real word._ Gender Identity Disorder_."

"Aa?" a husky voice asked. The dark head shot up, white heat tingling up his spine. His breath hitched at the sight of a familiar man in black robe lounging on a branch—where an incorrigible brat, teasing, woke him up from—where an infuriating genin, accusing, tried to put him down from. "What are you trying to say?" the man continued. The hitai'ate glinted, silver and absolute—the taunting smile of a blade, the wild grin of a fox. "Sasuke-_san?_"

Sasuke's shoulders stiffened. His hands curled on his sides, bewilderment and anxiety taking a backseat to anger. There were few things Sasuke hated, few things he found worthy to invest with such extreme negative emotion. Few things but how they mattered to him—like how he hated to be called that name, in that voice, by_ that_ person. "That you're a moron," he bit out, voice a cold veneer to his simmering response. "An utter moron," Sasuke added, menacing, "who wouldn't recognize what is real when it hits him."

An amused tilt of blood-red lips.

"Like _Chidori_?"

It was a kick to his lungs.

"Or maybe, _Kusanagi_?"

A punch to his heart.

"I'm sure you remember, Sasuke-_san_," the man, this _Naruto_ he disliked so much, _despised_ in his worse moments, suggested in a cheerily formal manner. "How you tried to kill me? Or at least beginning to. I won't be here otherwise, na?"

It would have been kinder, more merciful, had Naruto picked up a rusty sword and dragged it slowly across his flesh.

"Why are you here?" Sasuke gasped out through the tightness in his chest. So heavy, this weight. Crushing. Suffocating.

It hurt to breathe.

"What are you talking about?"

It hurt to be alive.

The blond faced the sky. Wind curled forward from the north, rustling through the lone tree as leaves shimmered in its wake. Sasuke's hands clenched and unclenched as he struggled to take in a fortifying breath—there was a burning behind his ribs and it wouldn't stop spiking, a wildfire stabbing with tongues of cruel, cruel flame—and his eyes, without reason, landed on the other's hand, a hand just then reaching up to tuck a strand of yellow hair behind the shell of an ear.

Sasuke coughed harshly, shocked by the gust of air he had unconsciously sucked in.

He remembered doing the same infinities ago. Remembered unruly locks and silky cheek, ribbons of lightning and dancing flames. Remembered electric heat on his fingers and the sun in his fingertips, remembered a hand touching skin where his own had been.

_"Ah, sorry, sorry, Uchiha-san. But come on?"_

A hand that grasped his, that first sunny day.

_"Thanks, Sasuke-san." _

A hand that reached his, that last rainy night.

_"Sasuke-san? Sasuke-san!"_

A hand that saved him from the madness embracing him.

_"Sasuke-san, something wrong?"_

A hand the claimed him from the doubts assailing him.

_"Bastard, wait!"_

It was that hand, that same hand, that Sasuke had grabbed and pulled and wished to never let go.

_"Don't leave_…_"_

Dark eyes dilated, breath catching in his throat.

_"Don't leave."_

"I've always been here—"

In orange and black and long long blue, Naruto was the last piece in the puzzle of the leaves.

"—Sasuke."

_He called me_, his mind whispered. Everything had faded beneath the force of that voice, that voice uttering his name with familiar warmth. _My name, a_ dazed echo—awe in his throat, wonder in his eyes—_he called me, my name. He called me, he called me—_

And Naruto was facing him, eyes squinted shut, whiskers stretched with lips curved in a full-blown smile.

_Your smile_—

A smile he remembered.

"Just beyond the sky you love so much."

A pale hand reached out.

"... Sasuke?"

_Take my hand._

"I remember," he breathed.

_Here it is, take it._

"I remember your smile… and the rain in your eyes."

_It's all yours._

"I don't remember."

His hand sharply drew back. Curled on his chest in hurt, in defeat.

"Because I never forget."

Sasuke shot up, stunned. Wide dark eyes looked into equally dark eyes. Of his seventeen year-old self. His thirteen year-old self. His eight year-old self.

"We never did."

Something warm—laughter? hope? all the joy in the world indescribable, impossible?—threatened to burst in his chest. They're around him, his younger selves, encouragement tangible with the certainty in their eyes. If he touched them, would he remember? Would he grasp that which eluded him for ten long empty years? Would he finally have Naruto—_Naruto his rival his best friend his past_—firmly in his present for his future—?

"Time to wake up, don't you think?"

His head snapped to his right. To the source of the voice. To the direction of the tree.

To where the tree was supposed to be.

Naruto lay curled on his side, golden-yellow hair fanned by the wind. His breathing was deep and even, its rhythm in time with the swaying of the grass—in time with a pale hand caressing the sleeping head, in time with slender fingers weaving through strands of dying light, tousling the mess of sunset with a gentleness Sasuke hadn't seen in a long, long, regretfully long time.

He tried to blink away the shock, the ache, the heat blurring his eyes.

"Time for him to wake up," the same voice went on. The man then looked up, turning to him with a gentle smile. "For you to wake up."

A smile as gentle as his warm, dark eyes.

"Otouto."

A tremulous lifting of pale lips.

"Nii-san."

A flash of crimson, sliding down to look where a blond head rested. Sasuke held his breath as Naruto began to stir.

"Not everything is as it seems."

* * *

Hazy black eyes slowly blinked opened.

_Time to wake up_—

He stared blankly at his ceiling, his consciousness untangling himself from the wispy threads of his dream.

_Time to wake_—

Breakfast.

_Time to_—

Tomatoes. Suigetsu.

_Time_—

Sakura. Kakashi. Sai.

_Time._

Naruto.

_"... Yes."_

His eyes fluttered shut.

"Yes."

A wave of vivid images crashed into him. All that pain that had brought him to his knees returned with a physical force—stealing his breath, his strength, leaving him gasping for relief. The constriction in his chest was _crushing_, and the acid roiling in his stomach threatened to choke him in bile rapidly rising up his throat. It _burned_, but nothing burned more than the heat razing a path from his eyes to his chest, settling and contracting and twisting into a single throbbing point where he knew his heart to be.

"I will never forget this."

And Naruto had just _stood_, pale and still, the moon a halo behind his head and the wind unseen wings around his body, black and gold and silver and so out of reach. And his silence was damning and Sasuke was _angry (hurt)_, _so_ angry _(so hurt)_, fury _(and sorrow and pain and so much hurt) _rising within him as light bounced off the metal—the damned metal that hid the truth of Sasuke's loss from his eyes, hid the pain of Naruto's truth from his own—and he knew, suddenly knew with great conviction, that he only had to remove it, to reach behind that veil of the symbol and find the memories he had lost, the boy that was sealed from him behind.

_I will never forgive you._

"The he—!"

A log exploded into splinters—it wasn't nearly as satisfying if Naruto himself crashed into the boulder Sasuke just punched him to—

"I'm not fighti—!"

Or a boulder, kicked into fragments of rocks—

"I mean it! _Kage Bun—!_"

Or a kage bunshin, or three, or _eight_—

"K'so!"

Or every _single damned thing_ Naruto could find in the mountain to exchange _himself_ with Kawarimi—

"Calm _dow—!_"

"I will _not!_" he snarled, chest heaving from betrayal, from rage, from a sorrow so deep it took all of him to stand on his own feet. Across him in a distance stood his friend, his _sealer_—surrounded by craters from his fury of punches and kicks, panting from dodging and evading and fleeing like—

"—a fucking _coward_—"

Naruto froze.

A blink and they were darting around each other, shadows flickering, clashing, bodies melding into one, breaking. There was nothing to hear past the rapid beating of his heart, nothing to see past the man across him, around him—

The world as he had known it was now gold and black.

Sasuke had speed by his side—always had, he was its master, fleet-footed as lightning—enhanced by outrage at each dodge, each block, each flying strand of gold. Enhanced further by a flash of insight within interstices of black—

His eyes widened.

—his offensive was as clear to the other as if Naruto could see him, _through_ him—as if Sasuke's moves were _his_ moves, as if Sasuke's thoughts were _his_ thoughts, as if his speed was not his, never was, not there at all.

_Never._

As if they had done this a lifetime of moments before.

Sasuke could feel it, now, how this surprise had tempered his furious speed. How familiar it was, how expected it was. How his body remembered even before his mind did, how he knew to twist to his side when the other clenched his fist, how he knew to tilt his head when the other pulled back—

His breath hitched.

How Naruto was the same—

His body shook.

How it was a dance long forgotten coming back to him now.

The heat in his eyes settled in his throat, a lump of hot emotions he couldn't begin to define. Too hot, too many—_he knew this, this **thing**, this dodging and running and taunting and watching, this wonderful scary exhilarating frustrating silly **thing**—_and he held on tighter to anger because he knew anger all his life—_he wouldn't if it was nothing, this was something, their** thing**—_because he knew that anything else, _anything else_ and he wouldn't fight anymore.

Yet even as he held tighter, drew anger closer to himself, Sasuke could feel something within him slowly crumble and fall.

_You couldn't even lay a hand on him._

Was this all he could give?

_No._

Was he this pathetic?

_No._

This weak?

_No._

So inferior. Even he would abandon himself.

_Nonononono_—

No wonder Naruto did.

_No!_

With a renewed burst of speed, a wild crimson spark, Sasuke darted for the opening he spied beneath Naruto's forearm and appeared behind the other in the same heartbeat. A growl in his throat, he grabbed the knot holding the hitai'ate in place and pulled with savage force, the other's head snapping back and a gasp escaping from the unseeing man's mouth. A flick of his thumb and the silver blind would fall, and Sasuke would finally see the eyes he had wanted to see since that morning three days ago and _then_ this would be over and _then_ he would _remem_—

"Sa—"

He stilled.

"Sasu—"

Did he… Did he hear right?

"—ke."

His name_._ Naruto said _his_ name.

"Don't—"

_His name_, in a breath of defeat.

"Don't do this."

And Naruto, he was _shaking_. Why was he shaking?

"Please—"

Was he cold?

"Please."

Was he hurting?

_I_—

Sasuke drew back, his head dropping, hand falling.

_I don't want to hurt you anymore._

A deep, deep sigh and Sasuke finally opened his eyes, his head falling back to behold the ceiling above his couch. Everything from the past few hours to this moment was still clear in his mind:

He remembered turning away, the sight of the other's back—_look back turn back **you're not supposed to turn away!**—_too much for him to see—

He remembered grinding his teeth to drown a shout of panic—_look back I'm here I'm not leaving **don't leave!**—_clawing at his throat—

He remembered grabbing onto his own arms—_stop it it's okay it's not okay go no **no!**—_stopping his hands from seizing Naruto by the shoulders and pulling the other to him—

He remembered—

_Stay!_

—Naruto, knees weakening, body trembling, falling slowly by his feet.

**_Stay..._**

In the peace of an autumn evening in the land of his birth, Sasuke turned away and knew he was lost in his own home. His mind was a whirl of thoughts and his heart had seized in his throat through the wreckage, his soul teetering on edge with all potent emotions running wildly within him. And Sasuke was tired, so so tired—the only source of respite that he needed, _wanted, _was mere steps away yet still so far, still so out of reach. Still beyond the lies he had lived in for ten long years.

He longed to get near. Longed to reach out and touch.

He longed to know the truth.

"You weren't supposed to know," a resigned whisper broke the silence, "The seal, your memories... me. You weren't supposed to know."

_"You weren't supposed to know... who I am to you."_

Sasuke heard the words left unsaid. Sharp words. Bitter words. Like glass, broken, shoved cruelly down his throat.

"But I guess truth... always finds a way," a short huff of laughter. How could laughter hurt to hear? "Three days and stuff's spilling out already. Can you believe it's just _three_ days? It feels like—like—" a sigh, "well, it feels like forever." A rustling of cloth and Sasuke could sense Naruto standing, near him. Nearer, much nearer, but nearness was not measured in the physical alone.

"Sometimes... it feels like nothing's changed at all."

"Why?" Sasuke asked quietly. The shards of glass were in his throat and it was so hard to speak. He refused to turn around—behind him, much nearer, but he couldn't afford to trust it—denied himself of what he wanted the most in that moment. He was regaining his calm, that renowned stoic grace under pressure but he knew, _just_ knew, that a glance would break it, that a peek of black or gold, a peek of what once his world would shatter it prematurely—so he looked out to the village instead, sweeping his eyes over the view of trust in the absence of light.

Even in sleep, Konohagakure no Sato believed.

"I'm sorry," Naruto answered, his breath stuttering, "I can't tell you yet."

_Yet?_

"You'll know soon, I promise. And if there's one thing, one thing about me I'd want you to remember, it's that—"

_He'll tell me himself, someday?_

And though he knew the cost, Sasuke slowly turned to face him.

"—I never break my promise."

In remembrance of those words Sasuke covered his face—fingers trembling, eyes unseeing of anything but that small breathtaking smile. It was the first time Naruto had smiled at him like that—smiled like he _knew_ him, smiled like it was meant for him and _only him_. His breath had been stolen by that smile, the truest he had seen since the first time they met.

And even now, that smile clear in his mind—even now, his breath caught in his throat as his heart drummed erratic beats beneath his chest. Even now he was savoring it, smiling by his lonesome his house, savoring the warmth that had curled in his chest as he remembered that smile again and again and again.

That first grin he received from _her_—_"And you_—_are a bastard"—**him**_, was nothing compared to this smile.

A smile of promise.

_I really... like your smile._

Then they walked home together, in an atmosphere devoid of tension, mistrust. It was liberating—doubts and uncertainties were swept away by a promise burning brightly in the night, and it felt unreal and right at the same time and Sasuke—

Sasuke hoped this walk would continue for a while.

And Naruto truly was a chatterbox, holding a conversation by himself just fine. Sasuke, though, found himself volunteering once in a while, surprising himself with insults that easily slipped out of his mouth. The surprise rapidly faded because _it was_ _just familiar_, and he inwardly grimaced at himself for being surprised in the first place.

"Accurate?" a mock-scoff—and how could he do that, _banter_ with another_?_ "Even a mole can do better."

See?

"How'd the fuck a mole got in a convo 'bout my aim?!" an indignant demand—but it wasn't so indignant, Sasuke knew, and how did he know?

_(but he had always known, hadn't he)_

"And that was a long time ago! Like, a really really long time!"

"Of course."

There was so much sarcasm conveyed by his monotone.

_(so much emotion he had never shown before)_

"I got to distract the fucker!"

_(but he had shown them before, hadn't he)_

"Really!"

_(on a time long forgotten)_

And Naruto just _got_ it, his skeptic silence, got _him_ and he was so animated—

_(so much emotion)_

"Anyone would be distracted by that piss-poor aim."

_(so much more he could show)_

And Sasuke wanted to see more.

"Didn't we agree it's a really _really_ long time already?"

"Of course."

Naruto turned to him, righteousness brimming with cat-like satisfaction. "Besides, he had it coming!"

"I wouldn't tell that to an enemy with kunai _accidentally_ lodged between his buttocks," he deadpanned.

"Ha! Buttocks! You said _buttocks!_ Way to show your age, old man!" Now Naruto was dancing, clapping and cheering with glee, and it was— "Need help to the toilet, o-ya-_ji?_"

_(so)_

"Way to show your brain."

_(adorable)_

"Asshole!"

Sasuke stopped suddenly realized he hadn't been using the epithets he threw onto Naruto that had so easily rolled from his tongue hours ago— as if he knew, inside him, that it would break the fragile peace they had tacitly agreed upon.

_You are_…

Perhaps it was what he found wanting, nagging at the edges of their carefree conversation. There was an element missing he couldn't quite put a finger on, making him pause before they began the most ridiculous conversation he'd been in for years. Not that Naruto noticed, he assumed. Or maybe Naruto did?

_… such an idiot._

Sasuke wasn't one for conversation though he could be eloquent—he was noble-born, an elite, above all a genius, and words were tools he used as sharply as he did his sword—but there were different kinds of silence and surely, surely, Naruto must have known his—

_My idiot._

"Don't let the shit in your head stop you now, hey. Just fire off whatever. I'll try not to be an ass about it."

He swallowed. Something thick had lodged in his throat. These thoughts, why were they coming again? Why do they insist on ruining his new calm?

"Try harder."

Then Naruto stuck his tongue out and he watched himself stumbling and accidentally catching it with his mouth.

In the darkness of his house Sasuke's face blazed up. He shifted in his seat and squeezed his eyes shut, reliving the moment amid red-cheeked shame. The forbidden thought had struck him like a flash of lightning, and the heated response in his body roared beneath his skin like echoes of thunder. Even now he panted, moved by just thinking about it, panted for the taste he couldn't allow himself to take—

"Oi, you okay?"

"Hn."

"Glad to know, man. Glad to know."

Tension, heavy, descended upon his shoulders, and he felt it seep into the atmosphere once laden with mirth. Beside him Naruto soldiered on, steadfastly ignoring with a blow-by-blow account of the crazy Adventures of Miso and Pork in Narutoland. How Miso, blinded by the exciting chaos of Narutoland, enticed Pork into a downward spiral where none had gone out after once coming in. How Sasuke, listening halfheartedly as a battle within him raged, could feel a welling of pity at himself for being so—

_Pork-y._

"Alright, so why aren't you ranting about married life yet?"

The question was so abrupt it took Sasuke a second to understand.

"Anou sa," Naruto added in the stunned silence, "I know you said that you're not looking. But—why?"

_"I don't want to be alone."_

Eyes dilated in remembrance watched Naruto turn his face away. "You want to revive your clan—you don't want to be alone too. So why?"

Sasuke couldn't stop the hitching of his breath, loud in the quiet of expectation.

_"But—in the meantime, we can be alone together."_

"Why does it matter?" he asked, none of the conflict within him manifesting in his voice. It _did_ matter now, now that he knew there could be someone he wanted to be with—wanted to be with in _what_ way remained to be seen—

_Once you stop blinding yourself. _

Sasuke shook his head without meaning to. He couldn't afford this truth. Some truths Sasuke couldn't face, some truths he preferred to languish behind half-truths and lies. Some truths hurt, and some truths kill. And though at times he felt numb, felt numb and _dead_—what was living when there was nothing to look forward to?—Sasuke didn't want to be killed anymore.

"It's one of your goals," Naruto answered, head tilted as if glancing back, before turning away again. "And you—succeeded at your first. But... you know. You're the last of your clan. The _last_."

Sasuke stiffened. Sensing, the other man rubbed the back of his head. "Didn't mean to rub it in like that," Naruto offered, voice sincere and apologetic. "It's just—"

"Are you afraid Konoha would lose its precious kekkei genkai?" he cut off coldly. Sasuke knew it wasn't meant like that but something inside him churned, twisted, fell heavy and cold. Why was Naruto adamant about his nonexistent heirs? Why did he insist on asking these things? Did he want to get Sasuke married that much?

What happened to being alone together?

Despite himself, Sasuke felt his face heat up anew. He glared down, irritated, stealing an irked glance at the other and swiftly turning away with a deep scowl. The scowl turned into a frown at the other's words.

"We both know you don't buy that shit so stop trying to sell it," Naruto replied, jaws tight in a bid for control—a control rapidly being lost. "I _know_, that what happened with,"this time, Sasuke could hear Naruto speaking between gritted teeth, voice rising, "_Itachi_—fucking_ screwed _you a thousand times over, that you _regret _some _shit, but I think—I__ just _think—that _maybe _he'd want you to move on, live a _life _he could have **_lived_**, not the _shit_ you were on purifying the na—"

Dark eyes widened.

"—_Shit."_

Narrowed.

"You know," Sasuke stated flatly. His fists clenched as his heart skipped a beat, pounding wildly after that pause as a rush of anger stole the very air from his lungs. How _was_ this fair? Naruto, the person who could possibly be the closest to him after his brother, the person he didn't remember for ten years and still _couldn't, knew his most devastating truth—the truth only Tsunade knew, the truth buried along with the traitorous council, the truth kept from him by his own brother until the very end. A truth that could destroy the Uchiha name, a truth that came close to destroying his life beyond repair._

Itachi's truth.

His head bowed.

_Sasuke's_ truth.

"How."

And Naruto_ knew?_

Met with silence, his head shot up with a yell. _"How!"_

The frozen figure caught him unawares. Sasuke stilled. Seconds elapsed and understanding dawned upon him, his eyes widening a fraction at a stunning truth.

_A slip._

The figure in black wasn't moving.

_"After rejecting my clan for generations, I'm finally going to wipe it from your memories..."_

Hardly breathing.

_"... by killing every last one of you, until the Leaf is crushed forever!"_

Like Sasuke.

_"Any link to the Uchiha will be severed and our name will be purified!"_

Frozen in shock at the onslaught in his mind.

_"That is how I'll revive my clan!"_

And before the insanity—

_"Tobi told us the truth about Itachi! _

—words of empathy, a voice of pleading—

_"I don't know if I believe him or not, but either way, everything you've done..." _

—understanding.

_"I understand why you did it!"_

And then later—always—

_"Because I'm your friend."_

Acceptance.

_"Because I'm your friend."_

Always.

_I ... remember..._

"Rokudaime. Y'know?" Naruto replied in a strained voice, a forced grin on his face. Sasuke heard him clear his throat and open his mouth again, then clear his throat anew and huff a sheepish chuckle. "Anou, you're right. So-Sorry for bugging you 'bout—'bout that."

He was trying. Trying so hard to make the past minutes inconsequential. Trying so hard to act oblivious to the tension whipping the air and striking their nerves, pretend all had been a mere insensitive intrusion on his part. He was trying so damned hard and Sasuke was torn between punching with all the rage in his left fist and gurgling out the bitter bitter laugh that had rushed in his throat.

Naruto coughed and went on, voice noticeably light, each note slicing his chest open just a little inch more, "But you— you know how to go about in—in having kids, yeah?" Yellow eyebrows wiggled, playful, but Sasuke wasn't _fooled, "You have—experiences—n-na?__"_

His fists curled tighter, nails digging on his palms. He would calm down. Naruto had promised that he would know soon and he, idiot that he was, _believed_ despite what logic screamed in his ears, a simple whisper of faith—and where did that _faith_ come from, faith he never had before?—drowning the fury in his head. And so Sasuke swallowed hard, swallowed pins and needles, took down with him the dark emotions threatening to come out and cut them both.

"Hn."

"So, so, there's nothing—broken, down there?" followed the sly question.

Sasuke settled for silence, too weary and resentful to play along. Naruto was undeterred, however. And suicidal, it would seem. "Can't rise to the occasion?"

—but sometimes enough was enough.

"Stop it," Sasuke ordered lowly. "We both know what you're doing. Just," he raised his hand, hiding his eyes as he squeezed the ridge of his nose in frustration,"stop it. Stop it," he repeated, quieter.

"I don't—" As if sensing his glare, the deathliest he had made in ten long years, Naruto cut himself off, "I just... I don't know," he confessed, deflating. He turned away, blond hair whipping gently. "I don't know," he repeated softly, lowering his head.

Near the compound, Sasuke and Naruto fell silent.

"I—I shou—"

"I don't want my blood to pass the curse of my name." Naruto's head shot up. "That—is what I used to believe," Sasuke admitted with a wry smirk.

The other man's head tilted to the side, clearly catching those two significant words. He turned away, even though Naruto couldn't even see him—it felt as if he had divulged more than he should have had.

Sasuke felt—his fists shook, clenched—vulnerable. It called to the reason he had been alone for ten years.

_The sky and the sun…_

"Used to?" Naruto prodded gently. There was no hint of teasing, or patronizing. There was curiosity and strangely, there was concern.

_… the wind and the fire…_

He didn't elaborate. Sasuke never handled weaknesses well.

_Can't ever_—

The brief silence that settled was heavy with meaning. He often welcomed silence but this left him ill at ease.

—_be mine_—

"I'd like to myself, y'know," Naruto said, in a voice so quiet it almost blended in the silence. Sasuke paused in his steps before smoothly continuing, as if his movements hadn't stuttered at all. "When I was younger. I thought I'd like to, with Sakura-chan."

Sasuke felt his heart squeeze, his steps stilling. Naruto seemed oblivious, though. "Being a ninja, settling down is not 100% possible. We're told we can die anytime since we're kids. But—" a small grin "—it's always nice to dream, na?

"You're the only kid I knew who was serious about settling down, y'know." Naruto suddenly chuckled "_Resurrect my clan, eh? What kind of ambition is that? Shoulda just said __get laid a lot."_

Despite himself, Sasuke snorted. He hadn't been entirely aware of the implications of that goal then, back when he was younger. Outside of vengeance, he had only known one thing and one thing only—

He wanted his family back.

"I didn't even know what a clan was," Naruto mused, shrugged. Sasuke never imagined such a motion could wrench at his heart.

_"He's so lucky, all alone, no parents to say what to do and what not to do, that's why he always makes trouble—__"_

"Never even knew a family."

_"You're annoying."_

"We're the same but—" Naruto grinned and it hurt, "—I never had anyone from the start and I'll—"

_"Shut the hell up… What do you know about me?"_

"—never understand you, right?"

_"Someone like you without family or siblings…"_

"But I got 'em along the way! Iruka-sensei, and Ayame-neechan and Teuchi-jiji, and Team Seven and the others!"

_"YOU HAD NOTHING IN THE FIRST PLACE!"_

"And Gaara! Ero-jiji and Ero-sennin and Baa-chan—even Kurama!—and Konoha!"

_"WHAT THE HELL DO YOU UNDERSTAND ABOUT ME?! HUH?!"_

Naruto went on, this time cheerier, lighter, and it hurt Sasuke so much more, "And a family—" his smile softening, "—is the best thing ever, isn't it?"

_"The pain of being lonely… is out of this world, isn't it?"_

"That's why I'm wondering, why you don't have your own yet." Naruto shook his head. "I don't get it. Even Sakura-chan's still single. 'Course Sai is too but he's a freak so he doesn't really count, but—you two? Are you two secretly together, and just didn't decide when to get married yet? Is that it? Secret lovers?"

It was time to speak up.

"No."

"You sure?"

Sasuke paused and, amidst the sudden heating of his ears, replied with as much wryness as he could, "Jealous?"

"Che," Naruto retorted, nose turning up. "Sakura-chan likes me too! She even said _Uzumaki Sakura doesn't sound so bad. Besides," he turned back with a leering grin, "you're not the only guy girls would go after, ha!"_

Sasuke scoffed with mock-disbelief, ignoring a twinge in his chest. Of course he'd misunderstand—but there's nothing to misunderstand, dammit! "Right."

"Meanie," Naruto immediately fired back, scowling. "Is it hard to imagine someone can like me too?"

_No. "Hn."_

"Hey! I'll have you know Hinata confessed to me!"

_It's not. "And married Inuzuka."_

"So what! There are—others! Yeah!"

_Not when I— "Have you even been with one of __others you speak of?"_

Naruto sputtered, face flushing, and Sasuke felt an odd satisfaction at the response to his halfhearted—what was it, teasing? He was never one to tease but Naruto made it so inviting, and who was he to decline the invitation? He was just being polite—and he may have found a new hobby, Naruto's reaction was just so _pleasing—_

The strange melancholy forgotten, Sasuke smirked. If he didn't, he would laugh out loud.

"Can't rise to the occasion?"

He couldn't stop a breath of laughter at Naruto's strangled yell. He began walking, raising a hand to his mouth to stifle the rest he couldn't contain.

_You made me laugh like this before, didn't you?_

It was a new feeling at the same time it wasn't.

"O-Oi! _It can so too!"_

"Hn."

Sasuke chuckled, safe inside his house, free to express as he pleased. It had taken awhile before Naruto had realized he was already a distance away. He clutched his stomach as it ached, the chuckles giving way to laughter, an occasional giggle escaping, his hand rising helplessly to his eyes as little tears squeezed out in mirth. He laughed harder, remembering—

Naruto choking on a fly that entered his mouth while he ranted—

Naruto snorting ramen noodles by accident—

Naruto landing on his ass for the nth time when they were learning _Kinobori no Waza_—and it was such a _bitch_ too, Sakura learning ahead of them—

Naruto creating an imperfect henge of Kakashi with fat lips—

Naruto in the throes of diarrhea on a mission _again_—

Naruto expelling gas on an unfortunate enemy chuunin—he was accidentally knicked by another chuunin as he tried to stifle a snort—

Naruto angering his fan girls and shrieking like a girl—

Naruto rolling on the ground with remnants of his Katon flames—as if spitting on it would douse it, the complete _loser_—

Naruto trying to act like a hero and needing to be rescued from his wires—

Naruto—

... _Naruto._

Sasuke leaned his head back, his laughter slowly subsiding. Even with his eyes open he could see them flashing right in front of him, overcoming the complete darkness of his house with their bright and warm colors. He was remembering Naruto, bit by bit—Naruto of his academy years, Naruto of his genin days...

His likes—

_"What I like is cup ramen! What I like even more is when Iruka-sensei pays for my ramen!"_

His dislikes—

_"What I dislike is waiting three minutes for ramen to cook…"_

His dream.

_"And my dream… is to surpass the Hokage! …And then have the people of this village acknowledge my existence!"_

Naruto of his childhood, walking his own lonely path, standing behind him as Sasuke reflected the dying sun by the waters—

_You were always behind me—_

Sasuke's smile faded.

_—right, Naruto?_

He felt his mouth pull down and he clamped down harshly on his bottom lip.

_Is that why you gave up?_

He bit harder, his eyes stinging.

_Why you surrendered my memories of you?_

Sasuke squeezed his eyes shut.

_Have you tired of standing behind me, Naruto?_

And he remembered again, that _sting—_

"_It can so too, dammit!Ask __Michiru!"_

He paused in his steps—because he was waiting for Naruto to catch up, he told himself, and caught up the other did with jerky unhurried steps—and resumed walking, trying to wrap his head around that statement he didn't really want to dwell on—

"Michiru," he repeated, before his mind could stop his mouth.

"A-Anou—um—"

Sasuke noted vacantly how the receding red on Naruto's face turned into a flustered pink.

"M-Michiru—E—hehe—he—"

The flailing, the fumbling, the result of an unexpected outburst in defense of his manhood—the idiot never got over talking without thinking, he noted sardonically. "You fucked Michiru," Sasuke concluded, unrepentant. _Whoever fucking Michiru is came the less impassive afterthought._

"Hey!" Naruto started, stutter gone, "Don't talk about her like tha—!"

"Of course, _made love," Sasuke interrupted, sarcasm in his flat words. "You __made love with Mi—"_

"You don't know her so _shut up," Naruto cut off, a fierceness in his voice jarring Sasuke from his false detachment. Amidst tumultuous emotions he can't define he identified despair—how had they managed to ruin their peace again? And why—pale hands fisted—did this Michiru __matter?_

Whoever she was, Sasuke would find her and get his answers...

He made a check list—

It couldn't be that retired kunoichi in Sector 28-C. Right? She's _fifty-eight, for Kami's sake. And __widowed. With __six grandchildren…_

The new girl in Sector 10-D? Couldn't be, she's five-months old…

The former horse ANBU, now Academy faculty chief? No, she's been happily married to a civilian for seven years…

— and his eyes narrowed. No registered active shinobi went by that name, and there were no other registered non-active shinobi and civilian by that name too. Unless—

Sasuke's eyes bugged.

—it's a _stage name—?! _

"_Kyousuke?!" he choked out. His fists shook. His world splintered in sharp relief._

Naruto _rose to the occasion for a __gay stripper?_

Golden eyebrows drew together, temper forgotten in the confusion. "What?"

"_The gay stripper?!"_

Naruto's anger returned. Sasuke was angry too—he didn't care to know why, he was too angry to bother with _whys—and Naruto had __no right to be angry like him—_

"She's a female escort, not a gay stripper!" Naruto yelled, indignant. "And why do you care? You don't even know each other!"

Female escort, _right. And what utter hypocrisy. So only __Naruto could __care about who he __fucked and __Sasuke **couldn't**? _

"Then don't bring up your whore," he hissed. _So damned silly, a part of him railed, flailing with logic incensed at his illogical conclusions, __this is all so silly and stop acting so silly this is **nothing, dammit, calm down, this is ****nothing!—**_

A crimson blink and Sasuke caught both punches aimed at his face. He looked down at the mass of unkempt yellow, bowed near his chest, and Sasuke's vision righted, crimson melting into black, and he had to look away because he might release the trembling fists, and he had to tighten his hold because he might raise his trembling own to drag the other flush to his body and _he very much wanted to—_

"Michiru—showed I can be wanted too," came the jagged whisper. "She taught me how—how to touch a woman—_touched me when no one wanted to, when no one else was __there to. Yeah, we __fucked—" Naruto raised his head, gnashed teeth a touch furious, "—but we bon—__connected—and I'm a __human, again—and maybe it's pathetic but that __whore—__Michiru—is precious to me—"_

—and there was so much pain his eyes lowered, so much pain his lips parted—

"And I'm not, aren't I."

By his lonesome Sasuke sighed. It was a sad and weary sigh—of a man who couldn't believe he had lost himself when it counted, had said such fragile words, out loud, voice whisper-soft but so deafening, echoes ringing in the sudden silence—of a man broken into the parts of a hungry little child, always wanting, always yearning, always seeking that star that would fall in the unending night—

And his lips trembled and he bit down, tasting the certainty in his words that hurt, his eyes wet with damning heat as he remembered how Naruto stopped, just _stopped, frozen and panting and tired and __human—_

"You have—"

—stealing that certainty—

"—no idea—"

—with his wobbling smile—

"—just—"

—his breaking voice—

"—how_ much—"_

Shielded from prying eyes and safe inside his house Sasuke blinked once-twice-thrice, damning the liquid that refused to be blinked back—and what kind of a shinobi was he, couldn't even follow rule 25?—biting down harder on his bottom lip as his throat grew tighter and tighter until it was so hard to breathe, and he opened his mouth to breathe in but something came out instead, a sound he would never admit to making, a sound so—

"Even _then—"_

—_shattered—_

"—you_ didn't—"_

So Sasuke walked back to him, closed the distance between them, and Naruto's hand was so _cold—_

"I thought your cloak warms you up nicely," he prodded, gently, his heart a wild fearful beast, trying to warm the other's hand with his own—and he knew he was letting the chance go but for the first time in years, Sasuke was considering another person's welfare over his own when he could have taken advantage of it, this weakness Naruto showed, smile wobbling and voice breaking and _human, like __him—_

"I lied."

—and hidden in his own home he closed his eyes and let them fall, because Sasuke was lying and he didn't want to lie anymore.

* * *

_"Sasuke…"_

His eyes opened—

_"I always knew you were alone."_

—but it was still dark, in his house, and he was still alone with his thoughts and his memories—

Sasuke rubbed his eyes, not noticing how his fingers came out damp, and waited for his sight to readjust to his surroundings. It would be—what—midnight? He stood up, intent on sleeping on a proper bed this time. Whatever time it was, it had been hours since their return, hours since their second dinner—

"Wanna eat? Don't worry, you're not doing anything."

—because not waiting for an answer—taking his _silence as an answer—Naruto began cooking, a yellow flash of motion, and Sasuke busied himself preparing tea and watching the other man putter around his kitchen, observing how the other knew where the pots were, the pans, even the condiments he himself hardly remembered to use._

"Koushaku?"

"Hn."

Naruto would hum under his breath as he worked, sometimes breaking into snatches of songs, sometimes pausing to do a little dance, sometimes stopping to relate an amusing anecdote of his travels—but always sharing, always giving.

"Every year. It's you, isn't it."

"… Aa."

And Sasuke admitted to himself, as he listened and watched and chuckled, as he received and tried to give back in equal measure, that he didn't really hate—

"Itadakimasu!"

—how Uzumaki Naruto—

"Hn."

—sat on his chair—

"But you know…"

—in his kitchen—

"… I can teach you what I learned from her."

—in his house—

"… Idiot."

—looking so wonderfully—

"Well _someone has to start taking an inter—__Oi! No kunai-throwing while eating—!"_

—beautifully—

"Tch. My house, my rules."

—painfully—

"And I'm your guest so my will is above your rules, hohoho!"

—_perfect._

"Besides, it's funny!"

Like he _belonged there._

"… Right."

Like he was _meant_ to be there.

"Well not _before, obviously, but it is __now—like, how'd you even know a__ gay stripper? Something you'd like to __share?"_

Most of all, Sasuke admitted to himself—

"Must've given you one helluva show, na? You even remembered his name too!"

—that he didn't hate how his house—

"Prob'ly got _little Sasuke tickled pink down there too, hehe, __tickled pink, hehehe—"_

—suddenly felt like a home—

"Did you ju—_oh it is **on! No one touches my ramen and gets away with it!"**_

—because Naruto was there.

And Sasuke's lips curved until he was grinning, and he had to hold himself still or he'd start laughing, and he just couldn't _believe_ the night he had spent with one Uzumaki Naruto—

"Was that _Katon?! Gah, my awesome costume!__"_

He wanted more nights like this, where he was free to throw kunai at a cursing blond idiot, where he was free to silently laugh at said blond idiot attempting to engage him in a sword fight with chopsticks.

"Your kenjutsu needs work. Loser."

He wanted more nights of toppling chairs down the floor, of stifling his rip-roaring laugh as the same blond idiot tried to navigate around his kitchen, of mad roars as the aforementioned blond idiot crashed spectacularly on obstacles he couldn't see.

"Fucking—_cheater!"_

He wanted more nights of a blond idiot jumping him with a triumphant yell, of his back crashing on a shelf with a painful force, of finally allowing his uncontained laughter mix in with loud hoarse guffaws—

"Winner, Uzumaki Naruto!"

—and more nights with his blond idiot Naruto, above him, his body coming alive in ways Sasuke had never thought possible before.

His head fell on wood, so defeated, so weak.

"Naruto…"

Across the threshold, in response, Naruto shifted in his sleep.

What was he doing here? This wasn't his room. Why had his feet carried him here?

Couldn't he stay away anymore?

Sasuke closed his eyes and turned to leave. He shouldn't be here. Not after that dinner. Not after that response. Not after the awkwardness that set in, not after the nervousness with which they parted, not after the realization that he was intensely attracted to—

"Kyousuke, pffffft—_Oi! Ceasefire! Sorry but it's so __funny—"_

Not after Sasuke was starting to _remember_—

"But man... I've never had so much fun in _ages..."_

Not after everything but his body just _moved_—

_Turn around. _

He shouldn't be crossing the room he had allotted for his guest.

_Walk away._

He shouldn't be holding his breath as he approached his sleeping friend.

_Don't look back._

He shouldn't be watching shafts of moonbeam light his hair into a field of white-gold, or reaching out a hand to smooth the wrinkled honey of his brow, or enjoying the sparks of lightning shooting up his hand, or tracing the curve of whiskered cheek with the lightest of touches—

"Dobe…"

Sasuke shouldn't be hovering over Naruto, entranced by a parted mouth, whispering an unconscious yearning with his own—

"Teme?"

—and his heart shouldn't be beating like it was the first time it learned to beat.


	25. Chapter 21

**A/N: **_deb_: Hi! Thanks for leaving a concrit in your review, I appreciate it very much. I actually understand what you're trying to say - it's the major reason I've delayed posting Chapter 20. The jumps are confusing, yeah? I've tried to disentangle the mess of words a lot of times myself, even letting it cool more days than I typically allow it so I can heat it up again. It seems I have failed, though.

I'm sorry 20 was a headache, it was the best I could do that would go into my plan for the chapter, which was Sasuke rifling through his memories a bloody hell lot. There was no action in the chapter, it was all in his mind. I reckon I could have written in 'it in the moment' to make things easier, but... I somehow felt this was the better route. I'm embarrassed that not a few had been confused because of that choice, so I went back and attempted to smooth over some of the transitions.

(Now, I think, I should have broken 20 into 2 chapters instead. Hindsight, guh.)

I hope it would not deter you from finishing this story, though. Thank you. :)

_Guest_: Hey. I'd like to know your name sometime, so I'd know who to thank. Because I'm really thankful for your review. Reading it gave me a really wonderful feeling.

_Everyone: _This and the chapter after this is actually one chapter, broken into two to make the reading better. Um, please review to let me know what you think?

- _August 22, 2012_

* * *

**The Sky  
**

_by Hic Iacet Mori_

* * *

**Chapter 21**

_"Why you lit_—**_teme!_**_ That's a lucky fluke!"_

His heart—

_"Don't show me your duck-ass, teme! **Face me like a man!"**_

—was pounding—

_"Teme_… _Sever it just like **that**, huh?!"_

—so damned fast—

_"Come back, **teme!"**_

—it _hurt_—

"Teme?" came that query, once more, in a voice so soft and kind he ached with so much anguish because he _knew, _with a certainty that _crushed _and _blew him away_, that _that_ voice was not meant for _him_—

**_"Sasuke-teme!"_**

"Nightmare again?"

—_never him _yet he allowed himself to be pulled down by that cold comforting hand—_why are you still cold_—his shaking uncontrollable against infinite black—_why are you doing this_—eyes prickling against silver, against memories—_you're holding me, not him_—throat a vice of fury, of grief—_you stole him from me a long time ago!_—

"Shh… gon' be 'kay… yeah?"

—with that same hand brushing his hair back and tucking him under a chin with that same voice murmuring assurances and promising better dreams with that same silver revealing secrets and hiding truth from his eyes with Sasuke _breaking_—

"Dobe—"

—and Naruto _dreaming_—

* * *

With no sky to comfort him—

* * *

_"In the beginning I was glad because I thought you were like me_—_"_

He closed his eyes.

_"I wanted to talk to you!"_

Listened.

_"But you—"_

It was Naruto, speaking.

_"—didn't speak."_

Sasuke didn't want it to end.

* * *

But he jerked awake, heart racing, and his eyes darted around in frantic crimson and _something was happening_—

_"I'll make_—_make everything better…!"_

—and there was a_ tang,_ in the air, of _copper_—

_"You'll... make everything... better?"_

—_burning_, there was _burning _and he could _taste _it in his skin in his clothes in his _lungs_—

_"I_…_" _

—and Naruto was stirring—

_"I promise."_

—and Sasuke was falling—

_"Why do you come_—_so far_—_"_

—and it was night and the sky was a clear blue once again.

* * *

How many patterns of a leaf could there be?

"You prob'ly have monopoly in weird, huh?"

How many leaves in a tree could there be?

"Or own it, likely."

Why was there a tree in his dream in the first place?

"When someone asks me what weird is, I'd point at you."

Why was the tree familiar anyway?

"And laugh at your stupid hai—You mean you don't _remember?_"

Sasuke whipped to his right with a fierce glare.

A short distance from him, the blond child backed away with hands raised up in the air, waving with a placating smile, ruffling the mess of yellow hair with each shake of his head. "Okay, okay. Wrong question, Moody-chan. But seriously," and he inched nearer, on his knees, with a curious little smile, and Sasuke was reminded of a drawing in his old textbook, the always-smiling yellow _Taiyou-tan_, "you _don't?_"

But Taiyou-tan wasn't annoying with his stories and rhymes, just shining like so with a cheery little smile. Taiyou-tan didn't ask silly questions about trees and remembering. Taiyou-tan didn't ask if he _didn't _remember, with weird small smiles and eyes he couldn't see. Taiyou-tan didn't call him _Moody-chan_.

Sasuke felt his mouth curl in a pout—

"Of course not, dumdum, how do you remember a tree?"

—and started in surprise, eyes wide, hands flying over his mouth at the squeak in his high voice.

"… Oh."

But Taiyou-tan didn't look—

Sasuke felt a touch of guilt when he saw the shoulders slump down—"Okay"—getting stronger and stronger when the same shoulders shrugged in an attempt to make nothing of it. "Eh, it's all good, you were out of it anyway. Something more important happened that night, a stupid tree's not something you'd bother with. I would too," Naruto offered.

He gave a small smile, and Sasuke didn't think he deserved it just then.

"It's all good, honest. 'Kay?"

And Sasuke felt small, so utterly small, and he couldn't accept the offer and so just asked, with a small voice, a bit afraid to break the smile, "What happened?"

"You lost your family," Naruto replied quietly, the smile breaking apart. The statement left an echo of pain in its wake. Sasuke bit his lip, bowed his head in understanding—and wrapped his arms around his knees, around himself, hiding his stricken face from the world, from him.

Sasuke flinched when a frail arm wrapped around his shoulders. "I told you," Naruto murmured, voice near yet distant, a faraway dream. "Sorry you lost them," in an awkward and sincere child-whisper.

He hated that word, _sorry_, so worthless-useless-meaningless, as if it could ease the hurt and pain and sorrow, as if it could reach and _cure_, touch and _heal_—

"It's okay," Sasuke hiccupped—honestly, sadly—his voice echoing beneath the cover of his arms, somehow _glad_ beneath it all to hear it from _Naruto, _"Nii-san said why. He just did what he had to."

The hand on his shoulder gave a slight squeeze. His sniffing was louder than he wanted, so _childish, _and Sasuke was just glad Naruto wasn't taunting him about it because _he _would, maybe, "Sucky had-to, na?" Naruto whispered, and maybe _not really_ because _maybe_ he'd understand, maybe they were _friends_—

Another sniff. "Un. Danzou's evil"—but who'd want to be friends with a sniveling _crybaby?_—"The council too."

"I'm still mad Ero-jiji didn't do enough." Naruto's hand loosened and Sasuke quickly nudged him with a shoulder. Naruto nudged back, still not taunting, still holding on, "He's the Hokage, for fuck's sake. He's supposed to be powerful!"

Sasuke raised his head with baleful, red-rimmed eyes. "Sandaime, stupid. And your mouth's dirty. Besides," he turned away, ashamed, frowning at himself when he felt his cheeks heat up but unable to do anything about it, "I tried to destroy Konoha, I'm worse than them. I'm like… Orochimaru. Madara. I hated Konoha for a really long time." His head lowered, "If Nii-san hadn't told me, I wouldn't have known. I'd have destroyed everything because I wouldn't just stop at Konoha…"

"And you call me _stupid_," Naruto said, exasperated. "Madara just twisted things up, _duh_. He took advantage of you! You killed your brother and it's hard to take in, y'know? I mean," his right hand rose, trying to stress the importance of his words by fist alone, and how it should enter Sasuke's head _right away_, "yeah, it's a life goal and you're an ass about your _avengering_ but he's still your _brother_, plus you're stressing with us always at your ass _plus_, the world's after your ass then too! Sasuke-no-_baka!_"

The brief silence was distinct after the loud declarations.

"So you're not mad?" Sasuke asked timidly.

"Not mad _ever_," came the swift assurance, almost boastful in conviction.

"Swear?"

He yelped when the arm around his shoulders vanished and returned with a solid punch. "Believe it!" Naruto crowed with his other fist pumping in the air.

Sasuke growled, the pain disappearing as rapidly as it appeared, drawing a fist back and returning the punch with greater than equal force, "Usuratonkachi!"

"_Itai!_ Fuck's that for, te_me?!_" Naruto cried out. He quickly reached up, rubbing his slighted shoulder.

Sasuke sneered, vindictive in his enjoyment. "For hitting me. _Baka._"

"Are you trying to make me mad? 'Coz you're doing a good job at it!" Naruto snapped, fired up by his spite. "And to think you've been making me promise—what, so you can annoy me and hold it over my head, huh? _But you promised, Naruto! You're not mad, are you?_" he mouthed in mocking monotone. "Che."

That was the poorest imitation of him that anyone had ever done. "… Hn."

Naruto huffed and stood up. "Fine! Be a bastard! As if _I _care anyway." He patted himself down and straightened up, making to turn away. "Jerk." He took a determined step forward. "Asshole." Another. "Prick." And still another—

"Oi! Aren't you gonna stop me?!" Naruto demanded.

"Tch. As if you'd leave," Sasuke scoffed. Leaned back, smirked, with the arrogance of a genius who knew he had won before the game began—

"Loser."

—as he willed his heart to slow down after it had sped up, panicked, his fingers gone bloodless when he had clenched his shaking hands, forced down the desperation to stop the other when that first step came to pass—

_You can't leave, not after this_—

"Yeah." Tan hands clenched into fists, rough voice the lashing rain, "You got the monopoly on leaving too."

He stopped breathing.

"I—_shit_, I didn't mean that—"

"You did," Sasuke cut in without remorse, inwardly horrified at how thick his voice had come out instead. He took a fortifying breath—_you mean it with all you have and your sorry doesn't take it back_—and stiffened when Naruto laid a hesistant hand on his shoulder.

_I don't blame you_—

"What?" he bit out.

"C'mon, plant me one?" Naruto offered clumsily, angling his face with clear uncomfortable intent. Sasuke turned to him—even this close, a hair's breadth from each other, he still couldn't see the secret called Naruto's eyes. "Limited offer, Sasuke-ya—_Fuuuuuuuck!_"

Sasuke settled back with a satisfied smirk. The heat on his fist was a pleasant tingling on his skin—maybe he could guilt Naruto again, somehow, this _punching-the-willing_ actually felt good. Naruto, meanwhile, was _not_ feeling good, showing his own displeasure by plopping beside him with a pout to drill the air, an orange eyesore of colorful expletives among the quiet green grasses.

"Baka."

"—edo-snake tongue-rapi—_stop calling me that!_"

He waved the same hand he punched with, a master dismissing a useless slave. "You talk too much," he said lazily. The sun on his skin was making him sleepy. No wonder cats prefer to laze under a patch of sunlight…

"And you talk too—less!"

Sasuke raised an eyebrow, too relaxed to even deign to hide his amusement. Naruto sulked, clearly unrelaxed. "Okay, so that was bad. Big deal. _Sasuke-kun _wins_ again, yippee._"A scowl. "What_ever._"

He frowned. He didn't like that tone. So much—_bitterness, envy?_—"Tch."

"Yeah? Well _tch_ you too," Naruto snapped back. "_Tch _you, Mr. I'm-too-cool-for-words!"

Sasuke looked down. Just like that. Just like that and he was pulling at blades of grass without his notice. Just like that and his fist was curling on his lap. Just like that and all traces of leisure were gone and he was wishing this field he was driving bald with vicious precision was the moron's stupid head.

"But you—"

He looked up, still oddly affronted but listening, waiting with unnatural patience—

Naruto crossed his arms and looked away, unsure and so _young_, "But you really don't talk. I—" he swallowed, audible, words itself quite inaudible, but Sasuke was listening with more than his ears, "I wanted to talk to you… for a very long time…"

And Sasuke breathed freely, the unrealized tightness in his chest loosening with every word. "Baka," he rebuked, not unkind, not uncaring, "I just wanted to listen."

A stunned silence.

_It meant so much to you, didn't it?_

"You shoulda said so," Naruto laughed, softly, breath hitching with each attempt until they gave out and he gave up, and Sasuke was glad because laughter wasn't supposed to sound so _lonely_—

_It did to me too._

"Every time, there," Naruto bit his bottom lip, face downcast and hiding and Sasuke understood, "I wanted to talk to you… But—you're so quiet, and so sad, and I didn't want to be like your fan girls, interrupting your brooding…"

"So what, you stood there, because you're waiting?" Sasuke asked without thought, and winced inside him a beat after at his outright _stupidity_, his careless _insensitivity, _when Naruto was finally opening up, to _him_—

"Yes!"

His head shot up in surprise. "You were?"

Naruto's gaze fixed on the grass, a light flush in his cheeks even his darker skin couldn't hide. "Yes," he repeated, this time more quietly, "and it's lonely watching you." A deep sigh—a sigh well beyond their age, but they hadn't been children for long, had they? "I was glad in the beginning, y'know. Someone like me, alone… But it's lonely—doesn't ever stop being that, na?—and I want to talk to you _so much_—"

"Why didn't you—?"

"Because it's embarrassing!" Naruto yelled, face red, arms flailing a frenzied squall, "You'd turn to look and I'd be there looking stupid and pathetic and it's _embarrassing! _We're _boys, _teme!We're supposed to just _play_ like me and Shikamaru and Kiba and Chouji did but you didn't _want_ to play! Sasuke, _you—_"

He deflated, suddenly, the wind taken out of him, "You're the hero of the academy… and I'm just the loser and… and—and I—" his shoulders fell, "—I'm just like _everyone,_ who wanted to be your friend—"

_Stupid, you're_—

"I don't want to be your everyone…" Naruto's head lowered, his voice a wisp of secrets, "I want—I want to be—"

_—more._

"But you are," Sasuke whispered, and _how could you be so stupid, you're so much_— "To me you have become—"

"—my closest friend, yeah," Naruto ended, softly, with dawning realization. A smile grew slowly on his lips, delight radiating from every inch of his being—he was _giddy_, Sasuke noted, a fondness welling within him pushing an answering smile out of his own. Bathed in the light of their revelation Sasuke's eyes were a soft black, aglow with a happiness so pure in his heart, in his soul—and Naruto's smile kept growing, and his own heart kept swelling, and Sasuke liked that smile so _much_—

He froze.

"You're bleeding…"

"Hmm?"

In his utter shock the world spun in sharp relief.

"What's happening? Why are you—"

"F-Fuck…"

The Sharingan had activated to map the details of a nightmare.

"Wha—"

Bruises bloomed on a face contorting with naked pain, wretched violets and roses dotting the landscape as blood dribbled down the gasping mouth to water them, overflowing to a shoulder pulling back with an excruciating slowness and a nauseating _squelch_, joining a hole tearing swiftly at Naruto's chest—

"Dobe!"

—and Sasuke could only _watch_, record everything to_ memory_—

"Maa, it's cool," Naruto gurgled, so wet, so _sickening_— "doesn't hurt that much—"

Sasuke was beyond control of the earthquake of his skin, "_Usurantonkachi!_ You're _hurt—_"

"I _said _it's cool, _geez_," Naruto moaned, frustration in the blood staining the white of his gnashed teeth, "It's just _Chidori_, te_me_—"

Sasuke shot up, stumbled forward in panic—_nono**no**_ _not **again!**_—backing away blindly at the other's pained hiss, "It's not _cool_, dammit—" he choked out. _Please, no more_—

"Look, Kyuubi's on it," Naruto groaned, too exhausted to cry out, as tendrils of red slowly encased his body. Sasuke watched, transfixed, crimson calming into damp black, blood drying and bones forming and flesh mending, renewing. But the damage was done and it wasn't something Kyuubi could heal— it wasn't visible, wasn't naked to the eye but it was _there_, beneath their skin, and Sasuke would give anything in his power to heal it—

_So useless_…

"It hurts, sometimes—but only a little, mind you," Naruto admitted. The newly-healed mouth formed a little smirk—and sliced his chest open, baring his pain for the sky to see. "You shoulda told me, yarou. I'd have let you kill me—"

"Shut up," Sasuke grounded out in anger, in pain, _so utterly useless,_ "It's not _funny_, fucking _idiot_—"

"I wasn't joking," Naruto said simply.

And it _cut deeply_—

"Shut _up_—"

—and it kept _bleeding_—

"What, so only you could die for your goal?" Naruto scoffed—_shut up, shut **up**_— "You failed _anyway_, teme, because _I_ died for—"

Everything stopped for him right there, earth and sky obliterated by a word uttered without care.

_… Died?_

Naruto abruptly stood up, fists clenching into bloodless white. "Here, I'll shut up now. Fucking _bossy_."

_Can't be_—

And Sasuke gathered all his pain to himself, stood up as a viper uncoiling from the earth to strike the sky—

"Died for what?"

"But I've never said this before so hear me out. Bastard? Your costume looks stupid," Naruto declared, gesturing at the purple rope twined about his waist. "What's hebi-kusotare up to, tying boys with purple ribbons? Some kink of unwrapping you for his birthday?" His nose wrinkled, hands akimbo, normality in his scratchy voice, "Good thing you killed him before he entered your body," and fucking _chuckled_, the crass little _pervert_, "Heh, _entered_."

"Died for _what?_" Sasuke repeated, the quiet of the storm.

"That cloak too," Naruto went on, heedless of his question, chattering to overcome the deathly calm twined about his words. "You just can't—ugh, this sound so gay but you just can't _work_ it! Speaking of gay, Sasu_gay_, d'you know you change more clothes than even Sakura-chan? She buys a new one practically every week but her ninja costume doesn't change, like _mine_—which makes a helluva sense because it's a _uniform_—but you? It's like—" fingers, snapping, urging words to come up and overcome the coming storm, "you accepted whatever they threw at you, sewed a fan here and there and _boom!_" His hands threw up in an arc, a child mocking his own awe, "**_Costume!_**"

Sasuke stepped forward. "Died," unhurried, unfaltering, the tide coming for the sand, "for _what_."

And Naruto _smiled_—

"Dobe?"

—with blood trickling down his chin.

"Mine, 'course."

_Agony _ripped through Sasuke as blood exploded from _Naruto_.

"Usura—Usu—" he gasped out.

"It's okay," Naruto whispered—assuring, promising—and pitched forward as blood sprayed out his stomach, his chest. Sasuke watched, helpless, held immobile by an unseen force, as Naruto convulsed again and again—as Naruto clawed at the earth with wild wild desperation, blood splattering on the grass to form a flooded field of red, face white and mouth wide in a voiceless scream—

"Stop!" Sasuke screamed, steel clattering from his hand—_why can't I_—summoned the last of his strength to let his plea heard—

"Naruto, stop!"

—and the blood from a mouth and a stomach and a chest rose into the air and wrote words he couldn't see and the sky was so _blue_ and _everything was falling_—

Sasuke caught him, Mangekyou ablaze, furious and _so_— "You moron, you don't listen—!"

Naruto tried to raise a hand—_stupid, you're so fucking **stupid**_—only to drop it, strength gone, and he caught it and it was cooling and _all I do is hurt_—

"You're home now…" Naruto sighed—breath stumbling, eyes sliding—and _smiled_, the complete _loser_— "Home…"

"I'm not," Sasuke whispered fiercely, "I'm _not_, you utter _failure_—" Each word with a ruthless shake, each rejection with a cruel jab—but Naruto just _lay_ there, in his arms, eyes closed, breathing stilled, smile perfect on his face—

His blood froze.

"Oi. Stop it," Sasuke ordered, volume normal, tone strained, smirking against the pull of his traitorous mouth, eyes, "This isn't time to play _dead_, you unfunny piece of _shit_—"

Harsh breathing echoed in his ears.

"What did you _do, _damned _moron_—"

And the sky was so blue, so fucking _blue_—

**_"What did you do?!"_**

"Honestly, your scream can wake the dead."

And Sasuke shot up, chest a wildfire of burning hope—

"That the power you worked for?"

—and met the symbol of his village embossed in cold silver.

"N-No," he stuttered out, face draining of its remaining colors—air rushed out of his lungs in shock, stolen by a stranger with a questioning smile. Sasuke bowed down, eyes hot, denial a rapid drumbeat in his chest, took choking gulps of air as he struggled to breathe—_where are you where did you go how can I find you when you won't tell_—emotions rising and crashing against breaking walls of control until he _exploded_, livid, "Give him back! Give him back to me _damn you_—_!_"

And the stranger clad in black just cocked his head, politely—

—_stop it you're not **him **don't you **dare** act like **him**_—

"What are you talking about—"

_—**don't you dare!**—_

"—Sasuke-san?"

"Shut up!" Sasuke roared. He destroyed the chasm between them, his fists grappling on black robe as he grappled for truth, "You know what I'm talking about so _shut up!_" Sasuke shook him wildly, a ragdoll in his grasp. "_Give him back!_"

"Give _who _back, precisely?" he asked, well-mannered with his taunting, the familiar formality of a stranger and _so fucking infuriating_— "Do I look like a kidnapper?"

Sasuke shoved him, enraged, a touch of hysteria in his eyes—

_"Give him back!"_

—and he didn't know _who_ as in his mind they were the **_same_**—

**_"Give them back to me!"_**

He struggled against fingers that entrapped him by the wrists of his hands, blindly strangled air-truth-_throat_—

"You took them with you," was the calm if uneven rejoinder, voice hoarse from a pressure forcibly released, just now. "Just like you took something from _him_…"

_Took… something…_

"… and something from _me_."

_… from him?_

His breath hitched.

"You _lie_—"

Red lips curved. "Do I?"

His hands slowly dropped.

A flash of white teeth. "You sound so sure, Sasuke-san, but are you?"

His feet stumbled back.

A flutter of tempting black. "I can help you."

He shook his head feebly.

A strand of teasing gold. "Just say yes, I will."

"You're…"

He grasped at sanity, desperate—

"You're lying…"

A glint of silver, merciless—

"I can help you _forget_—"

Black bled into red and Sasuke _screamed_.

With every breath—

"You—"

With every heartbeat—

"—and your useless _bonds_— "

The words he lived by—

**"**I _hate_ you…**"**

The words he would die for—

**_"I hate you!"_**

And he was fury with a rain of fists, madness and rage, and he was wounded and he was anguished and he _meant every **word**_—

"I know," came sadly.

—and _he wanted to take it all **back**_—

"And it's okay," Naruto said—and he was smiling, again, so brilliant, so warm—accepting, like always, whatever he could take—

"It's okay."

—and Sasuke could hardly see, the world was stilling and _blurring_—

"And I'd die again, if I have to—"

And his throat had closed up and he couldn't _speak_ anymore—

"Because Sasuke—"

And his eyes had slipped down and he couldn't s_ee_ anymore—

"I _don't._"

And silver floated down—

And there—

Was—

**_Nothing_**.


	26. Chapter 22

******A/N: **_konnichiwa:_ Don't sacrifice your rest, yeah? Lack of sleep cuts more years from your life. :) And thank you.

_fitha:_ Thanks, but whatever did you mean with 'one of those authors'? :)

_Everyone: _So. I confused a lot of people still. Let's clear things up a bit more, 'kay? But then again... I did like the accusation of mind-fuckery, haha. (hi _GS_!)

Tell me what you guys think, hey?

_- August 24, 2012_

* * *

**The Sky  
**

_by Hic Iacet Mori_

* * *

**Chapter 22**

He heaved with dry sobs and he reached out and _it's so dark—_

_"Naruto…"_

—and his eyes were so _hot_ and he couldn't douse the fire—

_"Naruto!"_

—and there was nothing left to hold and _nothing left to see—_

"Open your eyes, Sasuke."

_—_and his breath caught in his throat and his eyes flew open.

"Now tell me what you see."

He straightened up at the voice and turned, to his right, and it was—

"Nii-san—?"

—he leaned on, his full weight on that familiar side, Itachi uncaring of the pressure Sasuke had been inadvertently forcing upon him in his slumber.

And—he sucked in a deep breath, held the air they shared in his lungs, stopped breathing until his blood had carried it around his body—this was _Itachi, _his _Nii-_san, and Sasuke was confused and elated and dizzy with lightness, and his heart thumped inside his chest just a little bit faster, and it's been so long even if it didn't seem so, strangely, and _Nii-san is smiling_—

He shivered when wind rolled through the tiny gaps between them, cool yet warmed immediately by their familiar proximity, and there were sounds of rustling and it was an odd comforting song, and he looked up by habit and blinked in surprise at dancing green.

It was the tree that had been dead in ten long years.

"But you're—" Sasuke fumbled, all shades of confused, and a shaft of light filtered through the leaves and blinded him for a glorious second, "The tree, you—"

Itachi replied with a slight shake of his head, "Foolish otouto," he chuckled, and Sasuke felt a beat of joy when it started, a pulse of grief when it ended. "Look," Itachi repeated, his head tilting to the view across him.

And Sasuke obeyed without protest, turned to follow with untempered haste—he was _Otouto_ and perhaps he'd never grow up—and gasped at the expanse of diamonds shining blue beneath the sun, lapping gently at softened wood holding up a familiar dock.

"That's—" his eyes widened, struck by an understanding that thrummed like realization. "This tree—just there—?"

"Yes."

"But why—why here too?" he asked, a touch desperate, wanting to know, to understand, "Why would Naruto—"

And Sasuke _stopped_.

"Sasuke," Itachi murmured, voice gentle as the wind, "what is it."

"Nii-san—" his voice cracked, unable to hide, from _him_, how his whole being was undone by a name—

"_Naruto…_"

And Sasuke threw himself at his brother—

"I'm—_"_

—and Itachi let him cry.

* * *

It was night when he stopped.

Sasuke had never seen the night before.

It didn't surprise him it was blue.

* * *

"I want him back, Nii-san," Sasuke rasped out, wrung of all strength that had flowed ceaseless from his eyes. "I want to remember… every little thing about him. I want to know him."

He inwardly cursed when he felt the telltale sting anew—how much more did he need to lose, when would it ever be enough? Could a person waste so much water and die of dehydration, exhaustion?

And yet—

"I…"

And yet despite his weakness, Sasuke drew back and found strength in a new purpose, a new goal.

"… I want to know why…"

Swore to the wind that he would get the whole truth.

"… why he hid from me…"

Vowed to the sky that he would remember all.

"… all these years…"

Sasuke would fight to know—

"He wasn't hiding, Otouto."

—_everything._

His head whipped up. "Nii-san?"

"You only seek he who hides," Itachi answered, patted him once atop his head to assure, to guide, "You didn't seek for a reason."

"Because I don't remember forgetting him," Sasuke said, too tired for an argument, too spent to let out and _there should have been nothing left at all_, "How do I _seek _when I don't remember someone was _hiding_ from me? How do you remember that you forgot? Nii-san," he smiled thinly—because Sasuke liked to smile, once, and it was often for his brother—"you've gotten senile."

Itachi was amused—Nii-san used to be, a lot, and frequently because of him—

"You must be forgetting something, Otouto. Your Nii-san is a _tensai_ and I—" his mouth curved—Sasuke had always been the reason behind his smile, "—do not forget."

His eyes slowly widened.

"Our eyes are not simply a curse, Sasuke. They are also a gift."

Sasuke's heart started racing. "Gift…?"

"Just as mine is a gift to you."

"Nii-san…"

"Our eyes saved your future, once," Itachi said, softly. He reached forward, fingers stretched out, a familiar gesture of affection—

"It has saved your past too."

_Saved my past—_

—only to pass his head and hold him, by the nape, push him forward to rest his forehead upon his own, gently—

"Time to wake up, Otouto."

_"Time for him to wake up."_

Itachi drew back—

_"For you to wake up."_

—and Sasuke could _see_—

"Naruto!"

—on his brother's other side, sleeping the sleep of the innocent—

"He never left your side—"

—and Itachi closed his eyes—

"—the way I did."

—and he was _Sasuke_, and _Naruto_, eyes closed and hands entwined, heads upon each other's side and dreaming the dream of the blessed.

* * *

_"You always had everyone watching you." _

Sasuke had only wanted—

_"You could do everything and we were—_

—Naruto's eyes on him.

_"—too different."_

His own drifted open and he realized that it never really changed.

"Naruto?"

—And with a white-hot surge of lightning obliterating everything else burst the longest night of his life with a deafening _clap_.

"_Shit—!_"

Sasuke sat up, groaning, his head pounding a heartless tempo as he cradled it between his hands. His head hurt like hell, and there was an incessant clanging in his ears like some pair of fucking _cymbals, _an atrocious excuse for an instrument he once heard day in and out one unfortunate week of guarding a drummer on an ego-trip—wasn't even in any actual _danger, _just wanting to flaunt his wealth by hiring an authentic _ninja_, the _bastard_—

He smirked, vicious—he made sure the pathetic _civilian_ would never abuse that privilege _again_—only to wince at cruel unseen hands prying his skull apart—

"Fuck…"

And he couldn't believe it was possible but this headache was even _worse_, actually _worse_ than that time he woke up with the mother of hangovers, and he still grimaced when he _remembered_ it for some unfortunate reason—

"Dammit—"

His former teammates had thrown a party to celebrate his birthday, months after the fact, and Suigetsu was unbearable and Karin too clingy and he simply swallowed sake after sake to force the night to quickly end—Juugo, ignorant of his true intent, happily plied him with bottle after bottle, thinking he actually liked the horrid crap the way he downed saucer after saucer that came in contact with his hand, until Sasuke threw etiquette out of the window the way he had sanity hours ago, and began drinking straight from the bottle and it was a _happy birthday_, maybe—

"_Fuck, _my _head—_"

Sakura happened upon their group well into their twentieth or so celebration, and expressed her opinion of the whole affair by breaking their table into clean halves and throwing Suigetsu to the nearest wall, cracking it. The owner had been too terrified to stop her despite her apologetic smile, just letting Sakura do what she wanted which she did, gladly, with a captivated Suigetsu. Karin had burst into hysterical tears, shrieking she was _so_ not invited to _her_ birthday _when I remember when it is!_, Juugo brooded over a bottle that rolled to a stop by his feet and began coaxing it awake, and by the remnants of the wall Suigetsu opened his mouth, alcohol-numbed of the pain of a busted kneecap and broken jaw, and slurred a song of a pale bastard and a pink shemale bringing him home to _raveeeeeesh ughhh mooore haaaa-**haaaaa-**haaaar**deeeeer** **uhhhhhhnnnn** ah-ah-**ah! aiiiiiiieeee!**_—

_"Sasuke-kun!"_

—and Sasuke wouldn't stop _laughing_—

_"Stop tickli—**Sasuke-kun!**"_

Kakashi found them halfway to his house, his figure slumped beside Sakura, his hands on his stomach as he shook, uncontrollable—

_"Ooh, a happy drunk, huh?"_

—on a night the old Team Seven became the funniest shinobi team in the world.

_"Let's get you home, na?"_

And Sasuke outright _grinned,_ and _laughed_, and failed to hear the _devastation_ that his next words wrought—

_"Suuuure, usu-ra—ton-ka… usu… moron—!"_

—before he woke up, and cursed, and punched his head with the raised hand that had tried to reach the sky once again.

"Even before, huh?" he whispered to himself, his head heavy on his palm, the incessant ache negligible beneath the comfort of a truth: Sasuke remembered Naruto even then—remembered back when he _didn't_.

"Even before…"

He sighed and winced again at the motion. He lay back with great care and closed his eyes, frowning, deciding to attempt to ease the hardly-dissipating pain. He inhaled slowly, deeply—a prelude to meditation—and his frown deepened, his brows wrinkling as a faint scent teased the edges of his awareness. He released his breath in the same manner and took another breath. There it was again—in and out, again—so hard to place but—another breath in, out—it smelled—

_Odd._

Sasuke took quick sniffs, seeking. He could smell it on his clothes. On the bedsheet. In the air, barely, but it was there. On the pillow. Different but quite familiar, as if it had pervaded through the room for too long that his nose had gotten used to it, had forgotten about it, if not for leaving and returning a week after and smelling it again and wondering why it was there, and how—

And _who—_

He growled in frustration. It nibbled at him, intensified the pulsing rampant in his temple. _What was it?_

Sasuke grabbed the pillow and hit himself with it, displeased. It was too early, he knew, the sun was barely up, but he was a man who could assimilate and formulate within a second of wakening and that he _couldn't_, like some ordinary _civilian_, vexed him. His last thoughts before sleep continued after wakening, unbroken murmurs in his head while his senses immediately alerted him of his surroundings—he wasn't one to wake up forgetting, or confused, or seeking and not _grasping_—

_"How do I **seek** when I don't remember someone was **hiding** from me?" _

Even that time he was hangover Sasuke remembered everything of that night. Beneath closed eyes memories had quickly rushed in, and the humiliation of acting the inebriated fool compounded the unforgiving hammers on his head. He was darkly pleased to continue punching himself silly in the head if not for reflex kicking in—Sasuke rolled over to his side, barely missing a pissed-off Sakura's punch, and he assumed she was unhappy that he had called her a _moron_—_"I may have… uttered untruths in my intoxication"_—because it couldn't be the fact that he had thrown up on her the night before, accidentally, as it was _Kakashi_ who pushed her when he had started heaving—

_"How do you remember that you forgot?_

He growled again, hit his abused head with his pillow _again_. So damned frustrating and why couldn't he place this smell and this pillow wasn't _white_ and _what the fu_—_?!_

_"Nii-san—"_

… This wasn't his pillow.

_"—you've gotten senile."_

Sasuke slowly sat up.

This wasn't his bed.

His breath rushed out in realization.

This wasn't his _room._

"How—" he started uneasily, his eyes darting around, mental fingers rifling through his head for answers to make sense for him. His comforter wasn't _blue_, nor was his _bedsheet_—and this was _his brother's room, _clearly_,_ how stupid not to notice_ and what was he doing here_—but come to think of it, Itachi never used a _bed,_ he was so used to his _futon _and preferred it_,_ in fact, and why didn't he notice this _before_—

And Sasuke looked around, eyes clear—perhaps for the first time in _years_—and the curtains fluttered with the wind and it was dark blue—

_Nii-san didn't have a curtain. _

But he _washed_ them, every month, on the same day like clockwork, maintained the cleanliness of the room that he would not otherwise go into, after the first night he returned from the hospital—washed the pillow cases and comforter and bedsheets and curtains by hand even if _no one would use it_—

He turned to his side, his mind whirling with thoughts clashing against each other, dropped his feet to the floor and strode barefoot to a closet, frissons borne of dawning barely hidden by his skin—he flung it open and ignored the dusts flying out of its confines, and rifled through shirts and pants and pushed deeper inside the storage full of remnants of the life Itachi led and found—

_Nii-san's futon_—

—folded neatly, wrapped in plastic, the grimy cover extending its life well beyond its years. Cleverly camouflaged by clothes faded of the same color. Cunningly concealed by his own consciousness since _that_ night, from _himself, _and he _remembered_—

_"Why…?"_

—stalking room after room in the house of his childhood as thunder clapped outside with the torrent of rain, as a storm of emotions ripped inside him, through him, as he _wept _for his loss completely, _finally_, the walls dried of blood the only witness to his breakdown, on his knees and crawling, _crumbling_—

_"Why did I live?"_

—grieving for what was lost and what could never return, for this acceptance that crushed its weight on his chest without mercy—

_"Why did you leave me?"_

—it was _time to give up_ when he thought he had _a long time ago_—

_"Why?"_

—to surrender finally the dream of getting his family back—

_"Don't leave me alone here!"_

—the hatred, the rage, the hope that refused to _die_—

_"Come back…"_

—howling with the pain of a wounded god—

_"Come back!"_

And he kept clawing at the floor once upon a night drenched a dark red, desperate for the scent of blood that would connect him to _them_—

_"I didn't mean it!"_

—but there was _none_ and its absence at once _ruined_ and _renewed_ him—

_"Come back!"_

—and his mind returned, slowly, as he sat by the wall—

_"I'm sorry_…_"_

—drained of strength, of will—

_"Sorry..."_

—empty.

_"Sorry."_

It was hours before he stirred. Hours before he moved. Hours before he knelt, and bowed, and prayed, and mumbled wordless wishes for the souls of the departed.

It was hours before he reached Itachi's room, and climbed on the dusty bed, and drew a pillow to his face, and breathed an earthly scent, and thought of _forgiveness_—

_"Dobe…"_

—and dreamed of an infinity of blue skies for the first time in his life.

His breath expelled in a mighty rush.

"Even then," he gritted out. He punched his head again, and still _again_, for good measure.

But_ it wasn't enough._

"Even _then_," he spat out.

_Four months_ after his _coma_. _On the first night_ he returned _home._ _Four months after_—_on_ _that same night_—

His hands balled into fists.

Four months after he woke up, compelled by a force he can't deny, Sasuke fought with all his might to go home the same night. He had grieved for a loss it took him years to accept, in a room they were last a family before duty and honor and vengeance and _love_—

"_Come back!_"

Had grieved for a loss he had never even _known_—

_"I didn't mean it!"_

For _Naruto_—

_"I'm sorry."_

How many times?

_"Sorry…"_

How many times had he _called_ for that _idiot_ without his knowledge? How many times had he _pleaded_ to that _dumbass _for forgiveness? How many times had he _begged_ that _moron_ to _come back?_

_"Sorry."_

_How many times?!_

He replayed them, in his mind, a furious loop of the past, tried desperately to retrieve the words that fell from a tongue loosened by grief, the enraged questions and naked pleas in the room where his parents _died_, where Itachi _died_ before dying in his own arms on a fated day, the room of blood where Sasuke himself _died_ to his _past_—

His eyes widened.

He didn't smell blood.

Sasuke clambered out of the room.

He didn't smell _blood_ when for all the times he tried to approach even _just_ the door when he was young, the scent would so nauseate him that he'd turn and run away, stung by anguish and weakness and the terror bubbling up his stomach, still so much the child left behind that cursed night. He knew it was psychological, that his mind was tricking him and making him smell things that weren't there—but they _were_, he'd always known, _there was no one around to clean them_—but that knowledge never made it go away until he couldn't _take it_ anymore and he boarded up the room, the way he did his _brother's room_—

Shit.

He stopped by the doorway.

_Shit_.

"It wasn't covered," Sasuke announced to the emptiness in the room, voice soft and mind dazed—_nothing_ had been covered and _how the fuck did he not **notice**_—

And _clean_. The rooms had been _clean_ but for light films of dust—as if someone had neglected to clean a few months ago, not a few _years _ago. Even his own _room _had been in that state—

_How_ had he not _realized_—

—Because Sasuke remembered attributing, in passing, the maintenance of his house to the kindness of the Godaime Hokage. It had made sense to him then and he had thought no more of it. There had been more important things weighing upon him after all—there was revealing the truth of his clan and his brother to the Hokage; there was standing in judgment for going against the way of the ninja; there was bearing his punishment for turning his back to his home; there was atoning for his sins against his comrades, his brother; there was reclaiming the honor of his family's name…

He had also been exiled, temporarily, after the night he grieved, forced to await his trial and judgment in a safehouse by the border—

Kakashi had found him the next day in a pool of his own vomit, his Sharingan spinning wildly to form into Mangekyou into Eternal Mangekyou to break and form and spin again—the seals to stop the flow of his chakra, drawn all over his body while he slept for months, had failed in the violence of his uncontrollable chakra. The ANBU with the Neko mask had him entrapped in Shichūrō no Jutsu, his back on wooden pillars as he seized on the cool earth, and heaved bile and blood and water for all masked attendants to see, himself unseeing as he curled in and cried out and thrashed and _dreamed_—

_"Sasuke! Wake up!"_

It was the first time he didn't reach the sky.

_"**Sasuke!**"_

He woke to a fuuton-infused kunai to his neck.

_"—to?"_

The ANBU had reported what happened to the Hokage—Sasuke was deemed unfit to stay in the village proper, a danger to her people, to himself. He had acquiesced without question, still at a loss himself as to what truly happened, and the seals he had broken without his knowledge were reconstructed and doubled though this time, the central nerve of his power, his eyes, were left untouched.

_"You had a nightmare, Sasuke. It's expected and it's nothing to be ashamed of."_

Six months passed without incident while he served his punishment after the verdict beyond the borders of Hi no Kuni, and he was allowed entry into the village and residence in Uchiha Compound once again.

_"It wasn't."_

It took another six months and a year before all manners of restraint were finally released.

_"I know."_

And here now Sasuke stood, free of all restraints but for one he never knew, lost in his thoughts inside the room where his family once sat together in a life so distant it was surreal. Inside the room he had covered as much as a child of eight could.

A room that wasn't, the first night he returned.

He shook his head, his mind racing beneath cruel stabbing ghosts of pain. What benefit would it give the Hokage to continue with the upkeep of a massacre site? What benefit would it give the village to persist with the care of the house of a missing nin? A leader of a hidden village couldn't care less if a room was boarded or not, if it was clean or not. Moreover, would the Godaime care about a garden purely for _tomatoes_—

His knees buckled and he leaned on a wall, suddenly too weak to hold himself up. He shook his head, eyes wide, breath quickening in stunned discovery—

_We never had one._

He had just taken a glance and _accepted, like everything else_—

_"Teme?"_

And it could only be _him_—

_"Nightmare again?_

Couldn't be _anyone else_—

_"Shh… gon' be 'kay… yeah?"_

Because he _remembered_, last night—

_"To me you have become—"_

The dreams that weren't _dreams_—

_"—my closest friend, yeah."_

Remembered how Naruto pulled him down—

_"Stupid **moron**! This is my sleeping bag!"_

—comforted _him_—

_"Ehehe, sorry. Must've sleepwa—fucking **shit!**"_

—even when Sasuke never knew—

_"Do that again and you'd have your other eye to worry about_—_"_

—back when they were a _team_—

_"I can kick your ass even without **two**_—_!"_

"You total moron," Sasuke breathed out.

_"Get. **Out!**"_

He wasn't sure who he really meant.

As if wakening from a trance, Sasuke straightened up, the pulsing in his head a distant ache, and watched his feet automatically carry him to every room of his house. Eyes so much clearer, he saw potted plants that were never there, paintings restored that weren't, ornaments so unremarkable they were nigh imperceptible. He never bought a clock with the growth process of a _frog, _but he dutifully replaced the batteries whenever it slowed down the barest second. He never had a tissue holder, much less a one of a grinning _cat-cow_—he couldn't really figure out what it was and he just used it as a pen holder, specie-identity crisis a concern alive and dead in the same breath. He never installed a _windchime_ either, but it was there by his study and he was too lazy to remove it…

And the old toothbrush he used to clean the toilet bowl… a hideous _orange_…

Sasuke flitted about in a daze, bewildered by these things he hadn't given a second thought to, had taken for granted for_ years,_ for some_ **reason**_—

He finally reached his own room—an hour glass, with sands of blue, timed to exactly three minutes, like_ the wait before a cup ramen is ready to eat, na, usuratonkachi?_—and an absence in his room shook him to his core.

His legs slowly folded beneath him.

_"So I decided that you would become my rival."_

Remaining strength—

_"I didn't want to lose because I was called a loser all the time."_

"The picture—"

_"Even when we became Team 7, I still thought this way."_

—gone.

* * *

Under glimpses of blue skies, Sasuke remembered sleeping.

Under glimpses of blue skies, Sasuke remembered dreaming.

Under glimpses of blue skies, Sasuke remembered _nothing_—

—but a **_promise_**.

* * *

_"I always tried to lie but..."_

"Uchiha."

_"… but the truth is..."_

"Uchiha!"

_"… I always wanted to be like you."_

_"Uchiha!"_

Red eyes snapped open in a flash.

"What are you doing here?"

Sai's eyes curved, smile glowing eerily by the blue of Chidori Senbon Sasuke controlled by the skin of his teeth. The slow spin of wheels in blood highlighted the taut white of his calm.

"Waking you up."

He stood unhurriedly to his full height, forcing the unwelcome man to back away—his senbon had dissipated in the wake of electric cobalt coming alive over his skin. His head inched right, slightly, and his eyes slid askance—his question a low hiss, the prelude to a serpentine strike.

"What are you doing inside my house?"

And the smile of the fucking _asshole_ just _grew_, as if getting struck by Chidori Nagashi was an event he'd been looking forward to all week, forever.

"Looking for Dickless."

Sasuke heard a distinct _snap_ somewhere in his head and suddenly, the lightning riding over his body whipped at the air around him.

"But it appears he left you again."

Blue light struck out, a noose around a pale neck. Sai appeared unperturbed even as the chakra within began to tighten its hold.

"Do you dream of it, Uchiha?"

"You," a low whisper, "know _nothing_."

"Do you cry?"

The black wheels abruptly stopped.

It was the hawk, talons out, tearing the soft underside of its prey.

Sai exploded.

* * *

Blood red receded.

It wasn't enough.

Sasuke closed his eyes.

Nothing ever was, lately.

Sai jumped down from the ceiling, head tilted to the left as he watched the remaining ink blots sizzle in a vain bid to survive. They vanished in little hisses, tiny inconsequential deaths—they weren't him and to Sai, that was _it_ and to Sasuke,_ it wasn't enough._

_Not enough anymore._

Dark eyes slid to where Sasuke stood, an eternally-curious child with no concept of tact. "It's an honest question—is that it, what I must say to convince you? I'm curious, Uchiha. It's a real question."

Sai took a step forward, and red chased black chased red in Sasuke's eyes—

"He cried."

—and tripped on black, stricken, hit by an unexpected_ blow_—

"And what would it take for you to cry, I wonder," Sai went on, thoughtful, as Sasuke fought in his weakness to hide the damage of those words, "Perhaps your heart has become too hard? Or perhaps—you hide it well, like him?"

He couldn't even summon a little strength, halt his tormentor—

"We cried when he left," confided Sai, heedless, tearing him bit by bit, "He broke my heart and it never got hard again,"—and Sasuke held on to what he could, fighting a battle he didn't ask for—"I had Ugly check it twice, she said it's normal,"—braced himself as he was hit—"but it doesn't feel the same, so I asked Godaime-sama for a second opinion,"—just a little bit harder, just a little bit more—"I never forgot the sensation of shattering behind my sternum, when he left."

Then Sai looked up, smiled, and with sincerity ringing—

"I want to kill you."

—Sasuke could move, again, and Sai was on his face with eyes blazing, scroll unfurling—

_"I really don't care what they say, he's the bond I've been waiting for."_

—his own body jerking to a stop—

_"Even if he acts like he doesn't care, even if it hurts more than thinking that he hates me."_

—heart pounding beyond miles—

_"Even if he rams all the Chidori he could pop up inside my chest, or stick his stupid sword behind my back, or lord over all his cool new fucking jutsu."_

—head spinning—

_"Even if he tries to kill me, as long he's nowhere near my heart, I know he doesn't mean a fuck of it."_

—soul aching—

_"I know he still feels it."_

"But I can't," Sai added, eyes closing and scroll sealing, voice of a distant past fading in the quiet of morning, "I can't kill the person he died for. But how many times, Uchiha? How many times must Naruto-kun die for you?"

Silence—as he crumbled, just a bit _more_—

"Answer me," Sai commanded.

"I," Sasuke gritted out, still so much an _Uchiha_ in his ruin, "did not _ask_—"

"But you received," Sai cut in, glass-edged, eyes bare for hate to show, "And that's how it is, na, _Uchiha Sasuke?_ You are the bond he's waiting for, he said. That he doesn't care, as long as you are nowhere near his heart. Because it is _his_ to _give_, to _you_, and you _took_ it. And you _broke_ it and _threw it away_ and he **_accepted_**—"

"If he _accepted_—" a rift, manifesting, "—then _why_—" still so much human, "—did he _seal_—" still so much _Sasuke _after all,"—my memories?"

Sai blinked—and then his mouth curved, patronizing—

"You are both idiots."

Sasuke lunged before restraint crossed his mind. He stiffened when he grasped something decidedly not shaped like someone's _neck_—

"I do not know your whole story," Sai admitted, still candid yet oddly gentling, "and I am not interested to know at all. However," lips softened to a sad smile, head bowing to hide his eyes, "Naruto-kun's story is incomplete without yours, and I have fought alongside him to see it to its end."

Sasuke pulled in a surprised breath. He looked down at his hands—

—and _Sasuke_ stared back from over his drawn shoulders.

"And this," Sai's head rose, conviction on his features, "is not _it_. This is an interlude, nothing more. Unless he is right, and you don't really feel it anymore—"

_"It's too late for me, Naruto..."_

"The only cure to forgetting is remembering, Uchiha. And—" Sai took a step back, sized him up with a critical tilt of his head, "—you are remembering, aren't you."

_"It's just too late." _

"Perhaps you'd prove him wrong." A smirk, "Perhaps there is something special in you, after all."

_It's not._

"Perhaps you can bring Naruto-kun home."

And for the first time since they met—

_It's not too late, Naruto._

—without cruelty or malice—

"Hn."

Sasuke smirked back.


	27. Chapter 23

_September 25, 2012_

* * *

**The Sky  
**

_by Hic Iacet Mori_

* * *

**Chapter 23**

Sasuke wasn't certain which was racing faster—his heart, or his mind.

**I met Haku on our first mission outside Konoha.**

His feet were a close third.

**He died protecting his precious person.**

He remembered the child-like words written in elegant script—

**Sasuke almost died that day.**

—a field of flowers, a bridge of steel, masks and mirrors and mists—

**He said his body_ moved on its own._**

_Him_, eyes closed, body pierced by needles—

**I thought I lost him.**

—_Naruto_, mouth parted, arms outstretched to catch him.

**_I'm glad I didn't._**

_"You protected me...?"_

"When a person has something important they want to protect, that's when they can become truly strong. Dickless said so."

_"How the hell... should I know?"_

A smile that wasn't false, directed to a man who wasn't there in the room to see. "He remembers Haku's words—

_"I hated you. My body moved... on its own..."_

"—every time he thinks of you."

_"Don't die..."_

Sasuke turned page after page with urgency so strong an incoherent thought of devouring each pair of drawings lived and died in the same breath. It was a need so powerful, to _see_, that his fingers began to tremble when he stilled on certain pictures a couple of seconds too long, thrumming with an impatience close to driving him mad with wanting to move and mad with wanting to stay—

**Finally got to call the jerk _Bibiri-kun_, ha!**

A wild grin unshadowed by a massive snake.

**He tried to give up, the _bastard_.**

An answering smirk lightening the dark of fear.

**_I didn't let him._**

"He hardly spoke of what happened between you, though. He could talk at length about what _you _did, or _Ugly_ did, but—"

On the ground, bruised and feral and victorious, face upturned as a bird flew above.

**Kicked Fate's ass_._**

In the stand, dark and calm and inscrutable, waiting for his turn to show what he was made of.

**Shoulda been the late asshole's ass. He trains with Kakashi-sensei and he learns what, _Late no Jutsu?_**

"I realized it's the same as when Inuzuka asked what Dickless and I do in the onsen on occasion, and I did not answer him."

A sturdy tree in the forest, swallowed by a towering demon of sand and blood and hate and fear.

**Doesn't want to see any more important people _die_ in front of him, he said.**

A grinning giant of a fox with nine restless tails, protectively standing in front of a boy and a girl.

**As if I plan to _die_ in front of him.**

"Some things are too cherished to share."

Sasuke couldn't hear past the roaring in his ears, his attention caught by voices unrecognizable but so damned familiar, carrying fragments of words belonging to a past that were now crashing against the gates where they had been hidden in his mind, clamoring within his skull to _see_, just _see—_

"Some things should be yours alone, na?"

And he remembered, _dammit_, this was _where he stopped seeing_—

There, by the wall, held by the neck by his brother.

**Sasuke looked for me.**

Naruto, by the floor, watching him scream.

**He heard Itachi was coming after me**.

His own eyes screwed shut in agony indescribable—

**Bastard wasn't a match to him.**

—Naruto held back in helpless fury.

**But he _tried._**

He swallowed inaudibly. The all-consuming rage—_I hated and waited and trained **I have lived for this!**_—the soul-crushing defeat—_still useless still powerless our difference is still so much where did I go wrong **what have I been doing all this time?**_—the absolute _terror_ to his core—

_What have I been doing?_

_It's over,_ he knew. He was beyond all these feelings—

_What have I been doing all this time…?_

Yet a drawing was enough for old hurts to come back

And the clamor peaked in his head before plummeting to a steady drumbeat—the freed words flitted about in his mind, viscous, incomprehensible, alternately ebbing, rising. His headache was coming back—_pulsed _when his eyes, twitching in sudden pain, landed on—

_"Sasuke-kun!"_

Drying linens on clotheslines, white and flying and free.

**I just want him to acknowledge me.**

_"Naruto!"_

Water tanks, busted, emptying to their sides like little drops of tears.

**Sasuke said I couldn't scratch his hitai'ate.**

_"Stop!"_

The brightness of noon, eclipsed by wind and lightning.

**_He wouldn't even put it on._**

_Kami_, he's so arrogant and envious and _stupid—_

"Ugly liked to tell stories about you both. The wideness of her forehead makes her an excellent font of memories, don't you agree? But not even Ugly knew what happened when you defected—"

His steps faltered for a second and he swiftly righted himself, his lungs burning for more than air as he sped above the village, burning the way his own eyes did as he remembered a _valley_ and a _fall_ and two boys on opposing sides, locked in a battle as Sasuke fought to _leave_ and Naruto fought to make him _stay—_

**My best friend.**

And he slipped, again—

**My brother.**

"—Dickless didn't like to speak about it as well. Kakashi-sempai came too late—it was just Dickless and you have gone to the snake-creep. Pakkun pieced the story for me, what he could. It was enough."

**_I failed._**

"I realized I didn't want to know everything."

Sasuke flipped through pages in a blur of haste. He thirsted to know what happened in the years he was away. He didn't care that his pages grew darker, or that he got farther and farther from the center holding the pictures together—on the left was Naruto, brighter, training or studying or eating or fighting, sometimes surrounded by his friends but more often alone, with eyes always to the distance where he himself trained and hated, his own eyes to the distance where vengeance lay.

His temple_ throbbed_ and he flinched—

**He's still stronger than me. Faster. And he's got a fucking _sword_ too.**

A base in ruins.

**I still can't catch up.**

Shoulders pressed together, almost touching.

**How can I even become a Hokage if I can't save my friend?**

Mouth close to an ear, almost teasing.

**He's right, I didn't change at all.**

A bond left in ruins.

"Oh yes, I was there. He cried when you left. It's the first time I saw a shinobi cry, I thought it was interesting then. Now—"

**_I need to work harder._**

"—I want to hurt you when I remember."

Sasuke raised a hand to his head, unconsciously attempting to ease the incessant pounding within—

Naruto, always chasing his back.

**They said I'm killing myself.**

Sasuke, always chasing Itachi's.

**It's killing me more that he's not here.**

"It's unfortunate that we are professionally forbidden to destroy each other, na?"

His teeth clenched as the pulsing _spiked_—

In the hospital, wrapped in bandages from head to toe.

**I found Itachi and the bastard shoved a crow down my throat. The _fuck? _**

In the shadows, splattered in blood from crown to heel.

**I want to hate him for what he did to Sasuke, but—**

Divided by a distance of only one man.

**_I don't._**

And Sai's voice floated in his mind, again, light as the wind whistling in his ears, and his fists clenched without his notice and his step on a roof tile was_ just_ a little harder— "He's so important to you, na, Uchiha. Dickless can't hate him. He did tell me, once, that Itachi reminded him of Haku that day."

His breath came out shaky, eyes pinched at the corners with rising pain—

"The _eyes_."

Naruto, begging and desperately searching forward.

**What's happening? He killed Itachi and they said he's with the Akatsuki now—!**

Sasuke, running and never looking back.

**_Why?_**

_Fuck, my head_—

Then four simple words wrought stark against black, barging past the pain to ground everything to a halt before rapidly sending _ice _running down his spine—

**_Sasuke lives for Itachi._**

Sai's voice fell silent in his mind.

**Tobi told me about Itachi. I'm not sure if it's true but**—

**Sasuke hates Konoha.**

A silent scream echoed within.

**He lives to avenge Itachi now.**

Reverberated with a fury too powerful to take in.

**What happens if he succeeds?**

**With Itachi gone, Konoha gone**—

**Nothing else to live for**—

"Dickless and Ugly celebrated your birthday every year," came the quiet murmur, weaving through shrieks in his mind too high to be heard by mortal ears. "His wish was the same every year, except on the last."

**_Sasuke will die._**

"He wished you wouldn't die."

_("Save up your hatred and take it all on me!")_

**I won't let that happen.**

_("… I will shoulder your hatred and die with you!")_

**If he must die—**

_("I'll bear the burden of your hatred_—_")_

**—_I'll die with him._**

_("—and we'll die together!")_

"A brother who died for you—and a friend who did the same—"

_("What the fuck is wrong with you?") _

"Aren't you lucky."

_("Why do you care so much about me?!")_

And Sasuke looked up, eyes empty—

"Shut up before I change my mind and kill you."

Eyes aflame Sai leaned in closer—"Are we bonding, little homo?"—_giggled _and caught the fireball he had reflexively thrown with one of those _annoying_ sealing scrolls—

"Of course, my apologies. I mean _Homo_."

Sasuke turned to the next pages, the pain in his head a numbing refrain as he compared with memories rekindled, flaring bright to raze a path in his mind as he devoured and compared and _tasted_—

And _choked_—

"This—"

Naruto_, _arms around him—

**_Sasuke almost died._**

—the blade of _Kusanagi_ sticking out of his stomach.

**I'm glad he didn't.**

He jerked as white heat bloomed savagely in his head.

"Uchiha?"

**_It's over._**

But the ribbons of red streaking across the ashy sky were stark with dark grief, and his breath came out shorter as his blood ran hotter and colder and _why didn't he know this_—

**He lived for Itachi—**

With these words that _damned him_—

**—now he can live for himself.**

It was nothing but innate, how Sasuke could turn a single word into an ominous threat—

**But—**

"When."

**_Sasuke wants to be free._**

—even when five simple words could throw his world in disarray.

"He carried you all the way back to Konoha," Sai replied—no, _narrated, _voice suddenly empty it surprised Sasuke out of his rising anger, voice emptier than he ever heard from the man in _years_—

"I understand you were unhappy,"—he added, politely, a false smile in place, and Sasuke realized that Sai—_ANBU_ Captain, former _Oinin_, former _Root, shinobi_—was also _human_, falling back to familiar habits in a subconscious attempt to comfort himself, watched the black eyes curve into merry crescents as he was overcome by intense _revulsion_—

"You want to be free but Dickless is too selfish to grant your wish,"—a dark head, shaking, tone a jarring lightness—"He can't let you go—that's what he said. I didn't quite understand how that was selfish."

_"Why do you come_—_so far_—"

"Isn't it more selfish to leave everyone behind?"

_"You're still—asking that—?"_

He stared, breath suspended in his lungs.

"Oh, I didn't mean _you_, Uchiha," Sai laughed, high and breathless, genuine as the tranquility Sasuke felt right then. "You're not the one who left _everyone_ behind. There's _no one_ for you to leave, na?"

His hand had moved without thought, closing around a neck the darkest of his soul desired to snap in that moment. He could feel the steady pulsing of a vein, mocking with its serenity like the pale lips pulled in a widening smile—

"But you _are_ selfish, aren't you? You're the most selfish person I have ever met." The smile turned into a smirk—and dark eyes shone brighter, and colder, glittered like ice mirrored by the furious sun. "You want to be free? _You wouldn't even let go._ So selfish. You don't know what you want but you tried to have _both_ anyway."

And swift as the lightning traversing his skin, cold fingers wrapped around his own neck—

**But it's out of the question.**

"I can't forgive you—"

**He can't be free**.

"—for making him choose for _you._"

**_So I let him go._**

"You _lie_," Sasuke hissed, shook the picture book in his hand, the man in his grasp, shook at the words chilling him to his core—

_He won't_—_he'd never_—_never-never-**never!**_—

_("Do I?")_

The white words, the red and gray, that fucking _smile _all fucking _lies_—

**_Naruto would never let me go_****—_!_**

Sai snorted. "I was there."

_But he did, didn't he?_

"As I," he spat out, mad and desperate, fraying against the _splintering_ in his head—

_("You sound so sure, Sasuke-san, but are you?")_

—there was no white or red or gray it was blue all _blue_ far as his eyes could see above the crimson blade gleaming _it had always been blue_—

_("I can help you.")_

Sai's mouth pursed into a line—eyes, dark and unblinking, studied him—"How did you return to Konoha, Uchiha?"—narrowed swiftly at the fury of his silence, "You still believe you returned on your own, don't you."

_("Just say yes, I will.")_

With a snarl trapped in his throat, Sasuke cast the other man aside.

_("You're… ")_

Lies. All _lies_.

_("You're lying…")_

He had wanted to kill himself. He had been_ dying_ since the massacre of his clan, had been _dying_ since he survived, had been _dying _since power and betrayal and vengeance and hate—he had _lived_ with them, _through_ them, the best way he could, but_ it was all over_ and suddenly—

_"It's done."_

Nothing.

_"I'm all empty now..."_

Nothing left of him. Nothing left to live for.

_"I'm nothing…"_

He had hated far too long and it was all he ever had.

He had raised his Kusanagi, ready to join his family, and he had closed his eyes and _smiled _but—

_("I can help you **forget**—")_

—but his eyes had fluttered opened and it was the sky looking down and—

"Blue—"

—struck and blinded and _touched_, a second of perfect bliss, sliced past his chest and squeezed his dying heart—and he shuddered, violently, as coldness melted within to flood him inside with warmth—and he felt his blood roaring, his heart pounding, and he was struggling, _again_, and he was fighting and breathing and _living_, and life flowed through his veins through his skin through his throat through his eyes and it was his soul pouring out in a silent rain—

_("It's okay.")_

—and Sasuke couldn't _breathe_—

_("Stop!")_

Sai slowly stood up, gingerly touching his neck. "Pardon?"

_("Naruto, stop!")_

—trapped suddenly within a dream—

_("What did you **do**, damned **moron**—")_

"No," he whispered, his mouth moving without thought. "Impossible…"

_("**What did you do?!**")_

"Impossible is a word you don't associate with Dickless," Sai said, voice low, a confidence within that condescended but Sasuke didn't notice, ensnared by words of a dream assaulting his mind. "He lost an inordinate amount of blood but—" Dark eyes curved anew, words hissing out of teeth clenched in a big smile—

_("You're home now…")_

"—he refused to relinquish his hold until he brought you back to Konoha."

_("Home…")_

"He collapsed past the gates," Sai continued, ruthlessly destroying his grasp on a fact Sasuke had believed for ten years, "I caught him and brought you both to the hospital."

_("I'm not—")_

His eyes opened, glittering, the audience to a breakdown, "He succeeded, Uchiha. Naruto-kun brought you home."

_("I'm **not**, you utter **failure**—")_

"He didn't," Sasuke said, finally—coolly, heatedly, melting-freezing-stilling within worlds clashing-merging and stealing his breath away—"The idiot _failed_."

Sai merely leaned back, amused. "Is that so."

His fingers twitched, his reflexive answer to the provocation, before he crossed his arms over his chest with calculated apathy—Sasuke watched him coldly, the epitome of calm, as he furiously sifted through his mind to separate fiction from fact, lie from truth. Sai's _revelations_ couldn't be true—Sasuke returned of his own volition, though for reasons still unclear—

_(it was blue, all **blue**, as far as his eyes could see)_

—but Sai had no reason to lie about _this_—the man had none to gain, save perhaps for a few self-congratulatory smirks for fooling him so, and though it galled him to admit it, Sai was nothing if frank—embarrassingly, infuriatingly so—

And his dreams, the exchanges, the_ words_—hitting _much too close to home _as if Sai had been there, as if Sai had _known_—

_(**it had always been blue**)_

His eyes roused from a sea of night to a depth of bright red. Sasuke needed to _see, _and what he saw was Sai across him, stance relaxed and open, bearing no physical sign of prevarication, no emotional spike in chakra, guileless and placid and ready to tear down_—_

_Then—_

There was no hint of a lie.

_("Why…?")_

He inhaled sharply.

_("Why did I live?")_

With his heart ramming violently against his chest, Sasuke clutched the book with both hands and parted what he was certain were the last pages to reach the center.

**He's him.**

Without warning_—_

**I'm me.**

—without rhyme or reason_—_

**_It's enough for me._**

—heat trickled down Sasuke's eye.

"You woke up on the second month of your coma."

His hands wouldn't stop shaking.

"Dickless visited you everyday. When his duties took a whole day_, _at night. The nurses gave up on stopping him from sneaking in to see you—everyone knew to stay away when he came around. Even ANBU."

His eyes wouldn't stop burning.

"He never spoke, Uchiha. You slept, and he waited."

His eyes were crimson, _alive_, committing every detail of two boys before a window emblazoned in blue to his memory. A white room and a white bed, where a dark-haired boy reached up to the light-haired boy with a smile so open, so happy, his eyes dark and shining like the starlit sky_—_

"Then you woke up."

_—_where a light-haired boy reached down to the dark-haired boy, mouth open in surprise with eyes wide_—_

_("I remember your smile—")_

_—_and_ blue—_

_("—and the rain in your eyes.")_

—and _glowing _like the sunlit sky_—_

"I used to wonder why his eyes are different."

He was choking. Something was crushing in his throat, stealing words, stealing air. Another heat trickled down, this time from his other eye, razing a burning path down his other cheek. Sasuke hoped it was blood_—_blood in his throat, threatening to drown him, blood in his eye, threatening to blind him. With his hair covering his face from the book, from _Sai_, Sasuke hoped it was blood betraying his body as he broke inside—

_("He has the most beautiful blue eyes_—_")_

Sai's back was against him, more interested in the wall of Sasuke's room. "I used to wonder why," he repeated, almost in a whisper, "why they were a blue I've never seen before."

_("_—_the sky couldn't compare with.")_

Then Sai laughed, and it was thick and wet and frail, "I finally understood the day I last saw them."

Sasuke harshly bit his lip, forcefully shook his head. He took an unconscious step back and narrowed his eyes, as if the mere act could afford him a clearer vision, a greater picture. It was too much, just too much. _Just this morning_ he woke up to forgotten dreams, reawakened memories_—just this morning_ he recalled details of the past ten years that showed he _remembered,_ despite the absence of his memories, despite the absence of _him—just this morning_ he remembered the _dreams_ he forgot, the _realities_ he failed to grasp, the _lies_ he accepted as absolute truth.

**_It's enough for me._**

_Just this morning_ Sasuke was beginning to untangle the puzzle of his memories, the mystery of his dreams_—_

"Explain," he hissed, "What does it mean."

Sai turned to him then, eyes those damned cheerful arcs once more—eyes he would have believed if not for the moisture in their corners magnified by Sharingan without remorse.

"Not quite the genius you are renowned as, Homo." The lilting laugh that followed didn't faze Sasuke in the least. "Exactly that. It's enough for him. Even if he is _dead to you_—" Sasuke sucked in a sharp breath, "—as long as you are alive and home, _it's enough for him._"

Dead.

_("You failed **anyway**, teme, because **I** died for—")_

To _him_.

_("Died—")_

As long as he was_—_

_("—for **what**.")_

_—_alive and home_—_

_("Mine, 'course.")_

**_It's enough for me._**

_("It's okay.")_

Sasuke snapped the book shut.

* * *

And he heard those words, again_—_

(the world was stilling and _blurring_)

_"And I'd die again, if I have to—"_

_—_and he couldn't understand_—_

(and he couldn't _speak_ anymore)

_"Because Sasuke—"_

_—_how a dream was enough_—_

(and he couldn't _see _anymore)

_"I **don't**."_

_—_for a hurt to come back like it never left at all.

* * *

_"_—_jutsu Ōgi: Sennen Goroshi!"_

Dark eyes abruptly widened and without pausing, Sasuke veered sharply to his left and crouched down in the same breath, brutally wakened from the thoughts running faster than his feet.

"Mou. I've been reciting my favorite Icha Icha scenes and you're not listening—"

Sinister red eyes turned to the right.

"That really hurt my feelings, Sasuke!"

"Ka. Ka. Shi."

The gray eye curved, silver hair in rhythm with the mad pace Sasuke immediately resumed, had been keeping for the past minutes since he left the compound. "Nice day to run above the village and incite paranoia with killing intent, na?" Kakashi commented, lifting a hand to turn a page before throwing him a casual glance.

Sasuke's eye twitched.

"Now, now, I understand that a man has needs and one of them is to instigate chaos sometimes—I've been there!" he exclaimed with a flourish of the same hand. Kakashi glanced at Sasuke for another second and returned to his book. "As someone who had been there, done that_, _bought the flak jacket for 50% off_—_allow me to offer these humble words of wisdom from one tensai to another—"

"Where's Naruto," Sasuke cut in, impatient. It wasn't a question.

And it wasn't a question too, that Kakashi would pretend sudden deafness. "First—get a cool sensei who understands you a lot. Preferably one who will sit you by a tree and try to talk sense into you with your mutual tragedies." Kakashi lowered his eye. Sasuke realized with disgust that it was supposed to be a _wink_—

_"We aren't the lucky ones, that's for sure. But we aren't the worst off."_

He blinked.

_"Both you and I have found precious companions."_

"Next—get a pretty girl who likes you a lot. Preferably one who will beg you to stay with her or be taken with you."

_"I don't know what I could do… but I'll try my best to do something…!"_

His pace slowed.

_"So please… stay with me… or take me with you if you can't stay here…"_

"Lastly—get a foolish boy who annoys you a lot. Preferably one who will break your arms and legs and follow you to the ends of the earth."

_"Wake up already!"_

His steps faltered.

_"If you're still not sure, I'll break you like a stick and bring you back immobile!"_

Stopped.

"Kakashi,"—quietly, face turned away, asked Sasuke as he drew in a steeling breath—"Where is he?"

—to be thrown rudely back to the reality he'd been out of touch with _for_ _some time, _the _infuriating bastard_—"If you remember him, you'll know where he could be."

"He's not in Ichiraku," Sasuke said, attention snared anew, his frustration back with a vengeance—

"I'm sure it seems like it, but he doesn't live for ramen alone," Kakashi commented. His mask did a horrible job of concealing his enjoyment and Sasuke scowled—he never appreciated Kakashi's amusement in his most neutral of moods, and now that his current emotions were volatile beneath his skin, snapped taut like a metal coil ready to spring, he was nowhere near appreciative at all.

"He's not in the Academy," he gritted out. He shook his head irritably—a buzzing was coming alive in his head, interfering in the very important act of glaring death at Kakashi.

"He wasn't really fond of the place either," the other mused, sounding thoughtful—and still damned amused. "Besides, Iruka-san won't appreciate his presence there right now. Naruto tended to be," Kakashi's eye curved once more, "persuasive."

It was then that he realized that the buzzing in his head were _threats_—increasingly savage _threats_ that his mind was hurling against his skull in mad attempts to maim Kakashi. Sasuke forced himself to take a deep, calming breath—and another, just in case his fist translated the motion as a prelude to a vicious punch—

Sufficiently calmed, he glanced at Kakashi before turning away in feigned dismissal. "He's not on the Hokage Monument."

"He would be soon." Sasuke swiftly turned back—"He would look _dashing_ beside Godaime-sama, don't you think?"—only for his fists to clench and shake at Kakashi's knowing look.

"You," Sasuke started, acute disappointment keening beneath eyes flashing bloodlust, "are pissing me off."

"Sasuke," Kakashi said, tone admonishing, increasing Sasuke's violent inclinations with his cheery demeanor, "is that any way to treat your sensei?"

He suddenly smirked, venom dripping from his voice to his lips, "Trust me, Kakashi. If I treat you like my sensei, you'd be _dead_."

_"What if I were to_—_"_

Kakashi blinked. He pocketed his book after a long pause, shoulders slouching with his hands sliding inside his pockets. "Sasuke," he sighed, repeating his name, tilting his head up with an odd air upon his countenance that immediately grabbed Sasuke's attention—

_ "—kill the one you love the most?"_

"The worst death is to be alive and forgotten."

Wind suddenly rolled past, hinting of early winter, and fluttering white on his periphery reminded Sasuke abruptly that the trees were far from the rooftop of the house they're standing on, even farther from the rooftop of the hospital with its drying bedsheets, leaking water tanks—

"Hn. Spoken like an old man. And you call yourself _shinobi_."

Silence.

It was the shock of silence after a strike of lightning.

"Then—"

Stunned, Sasuke saw Kakashi's eye twinkling with a warmth he never noticed in ten years.

"—you know where he is, na, Sasuke."

_"I bet he has big fat lips. Whatcha think, teme?"_

His heart thumped. Something inside him was straining, struggling against chains to force a crack on a battered gate. He could feel it, a steady flooding within, swelling inside his chest with long-buried exasperation, grudging admiration—Sasuke blinked, bewildered by how the world seemed to slow down to the barest second—and then he caught his first clear sight of one Hatake Kakashi, shoulders thrown forward with hands inside his pockets, at ease, three young soldiers standing behind him at varying poses of attention—

_"No matter how far Orochimaru fell, he still loved him…" _

"… Sensei?"

_"Now I know how… Sandaime-sama felt."_

"Sasuke," Kakashi said, and he finally recognized that it was _affection_, affection that Sasuke had always heard from the man who stopped seeking—

_"Then I guess_—_"_

"I haven't been your sensei in years, that time's over. Regardless,"—the gray eye curved—

_"_—_your fate will be the same as his."_

"Welcome back."

* * *

Sasuke's jaw clenched, his feet on auto-pilot. His mind couldn't keep still, his nerves wild and haywire underneath his skin, and his fingers wouldn't stop trembling and his body wouldn't stop shaking but he was running on a memory and_ he couldn't stop chasing_—

_"Both you and I_—_"_

And he didn't even know _where he was going_—

_"—have found precious companions."_

He _knew_ this _memory_. It had been there, _in his head_, had _experienced_ it once upon a past before the beginning of the _fall_—he never dwelled on it but he never forgot it, the same way he no longer dwelled on a childhood when his family was alive. But now he was recalling it, actively remembering it, confirming to his mind and his nerves and his fingers and his body that he had _lived_ it, had _struggled _in it—

His breath shattered.

—had almost wanted to _give up_ his relentless quest for power for_ them_—

Sasuke could see it now, clear as that day was black—and _fuck_, it _hurt_, remembering the agony of choosing _shouldn't hurt like this at all_—how Sakura and _Naruto_, that idiot—_how strong are you really, Naruto?_—tempted him to imagine a present fought without the past, to imagine a life for himself without the death of everyone else who had left him behind. In that moment he accepted the little dream he often pretended wasn't there—dreamed up in a wild abandoned moment when the world seemed brighter and warmer and kinder—because to dream meant blood and tears and Itachi and death but _this_ dream, _this dream_ was never those heavy burdens carried by shoulders too small to lift them, because _this little dream_ in one moment of weakness was _Kakashi _and _Sakura_ and _Naruto_ and _Sasuke_ under a sky so endless growing old growing _together_ and this dream—

His fingers shook and curled.

_"Naruto… Sakura…"_

_This_ dream—

_"Itachi_…_"_

—Sasuke had to let go.

He closed his eyes, took a fortifying breath—

_What changed? _

His eyes opened. Why was remembering it now _different_ from the random times it popped into his head in the past? Was it because the memory of that day included Naruto now? But even then, he was remembering his "dead teammate" too. Even then, he was remembering how he had almost wanted to _surrender_—

_"… Sensei?"_

He stiffened. Kakashi had intentionally brought up that memory. But why? What did Kakashi _know_—

His jaw clenched.

—and why did it feel like this was the first time he and Kakashi had actually spoken in _years?_

_"The only cure to forgetting is remembering, Uchiha."_

His heart thumped and he staggered back at the force.

_"And you are remembering, aren't you."_

How did _Sai_ know he was remembering?

_"Then you know where he is, na, Sasuke."_

How did _Kakashi?_

_"Welcome back."_

Had he been altered that much by his memories that they'd know?

He started at the change of his pace. Sasuke looked up to a length of pink dancing with the wind, flying over a bridge of red where he met with his team an eternity past. Arms folded over wood, Sakura leaned on the bridge with eyes cast to the stream running beneath, her gaze farther than the waters as she waited for something, someone, _him_. As Sasuke took his first step on the bridge, she glanced up, green acknowledging his presence.

Their eyes met for a brief second before she looked away.

He settled beside her. He faced north as she faced south, leaned back with his elbows on the railing. He didn't want to think. Just this moment, he didn't want to think.

He'd been thinking since he woke up in Itachi's room. He'd been thinking since Sai showed up with the picture book. He'd been thinking since Kakashi joined him above the rooftops. He'd been thinking since Naruto upped and left him alone, _again_, and he just wanted a brief moment where he didn't need to think, a moment of peace only the sky could bestow him.

So Sasuke looked up.

And he was calmed.

"Sasuke-kun?" Sakura asked after a lifetime.

Sasuke closed his eyes. The clear blue of the sky was imprinted behind his eyelids. Calm lapped at him in little waves and he leaned further behind.

He felt her quiet sigh and he inclined his head to her direction. "What is it," he murmured.

"Would you—" Sakura began, hesitating. Sasuke turned completely to her then, eyes rising a lazy half-mast, and watched her eyes widen, slowly, light pink hue rising up on her cheeks before she abruptly turned her gaze back to the waters, the pink now a rose bloom, white hands rising to clutch tight on red wood.

"It's not fair," she said to herself, and Sasuke blinked when he realized that her words were addressed to him, "It's been years and still, you only have to give that look and I fall all over again…"

"… What look?"

She stilled, eyes a glaze of spring, before shaking her head. "It's nothing."

"Hn."

Sakura suddenly smiled, small and secretive. "I suppose you can call it habitual worship. Despite how much I've come to—" her smile turned bittersweet, "—dislike you, you're still a…" she paused, and then _leered_, "… hot piece of ass, Sasuke-kun."

"Thank you," Sasuke said dryly.

Sakura giggled. "You're welcome." Her smile turned into a full-blown grin. "I can't believe I told you that. _Hot piece of ass_—Ino will _die_ when she hears that!"

Sasuke frowned. Hearing that name reminded him of last night. If that meddling blonde hadn't coerced Naruto to that stupid little party—

"Are you still angry at her?" Sakura asked, attuned to the direction of his thoughts. His frown turned into a scowl and she turned away, but not before he caught a strange smile on her face.

"She can be overbearing someti—okay, a_ lot_—but she didn't mean any harm," she said. Sasuke's eyes narrowed, trying to place her expression—Sakura's voice sounded strange as well. "It's getting harder for everyone to meet up, I'm sure you noticed. Of course you don't really care for those things, but Naruto… friends matter a lot to him." She glanced at him. "Ino just really wants to see him. She missed him a lot too."

His scowl deepened, his lips tightening. If Sakura was trying to make him actively dislike Akimichi Ino, she was doing a very fine job.

Sakura looked away once more, her voice coming distant to his ears. "And she's always one of the first to know if something's wrong with him." A light chuckle. "It's the language of the blonds, she likes to call it. I think it's half-true, they can talk about the weirdest things all day. There's one time they started debating about what plant represented which person best." This time, her voice floated back with her smile apparent within. "They agreed on everything—which really surprised me a lot!—except what yours is."

His eyebrow rose. Despite the utter silliness, Sasuke was intrigued.

Catching it, Sakura turned to him, eyes dancing a jade light. "Would you want to know?"

He shrugged. He would. It didn't mean Sakura could tease him with that knowledge, though. Friend or not, Sasuke had no patience for such things.

Sakura gave an impish smile, her eyes sparkling beneath the sun. "Would you want to know over dinner?"

Sasuke frowned. His eyes automatically slid to his right, dark and indifferent and done with the question. "When is Naruto coming?" he asked, anticipation lurking beneath the cold apathy of his eyes.

"Sasuke-kun," Sakura said, his name coming out in a sigh, "I don't know, but Naruto knows to come here when I need him. He's taking awhile, though," she muttered, unaware how Sasuke had frozen at her words. "But you didn't answer my question! Would you—" she glanced away, "—like to talk about it? Over dinner, tomorrow?"

He slowly straightened up, scorn falling without his knowledge from his eyes to his mouth, "You really can't shut up, can you."

_"I've already decided on revenge—"_

The sound of snapping wood echoed in the bridge.

Splinters and chips of wood fell from Sakura's trembling hands. She took a little step back, her hands flying behind her. "Sasuke-kun," she whispered, and looked down with an odd air upon her figure that immediately reined in Sasuke's attention_—_

_"—for that reason only do I live."_

"We should always fight for the best that life can give, ne?"

A gentle breeze passed by, hinting of the end of autumn, and strands of pink before Sasuke's eyes lifted up to show a face wet with tears and a mouth parting with pleas and fists clenching and unclenching with the need to make him stay—

"Tch. You are really annoying."

Silence.

It was the stagger of silence after the first punch to the gut.

"Then—"

Stunned, Sasuke saw Sakura's eyes shining with tears he never saw in ten years.

"—he can tell you himself, ne, Sasuke-kun."

_"Yarou! You're such a pri—Itai!—But Sakura-chan—!"_

His heart thumped. He could feel it, the straining much more insistent, stronger, another crack dooming a gate near its last. It was beginning to overflow within, surging with long-hidden impatience, reluctant caring inside his chest—Sasuke stared, disoriented at how the world seemed to slow down to the barest second once more—and then he caught his first clear sight of one Haruno Sakura, shoulders drawn inward with hands behind her back, a man appearing behind her with a hand scratching his head, prepared to jump up with another to scream accusations so loud and grating and damned _irritating_—

_"_—s_hut up, you outsider!"_

"Sakura?"

"_Naruto had faith in you, Sasuke-kun!_"

"Sasuke-kun," Sakura said, and he finally recognized that it was _hope_, hope that Sasuke had always seen from the girl who stopped waiting—

"_No matter how badly the world slandered you, he still considered you a friend!"_

"It's been years since you said that, and I never imagined I'd say this but,"—tears fell down from smiling green eyes—

_"He still does..."_

"I missed you."


	28. Chapter 24

**A/N: **I'm sorry I can't reply to all. Stuff happened, haha. Anyway, see the date? You know what that means, guys. :) Time to give our boy a hug.

_October 10, 2012_

* * *

**The Sky  
**

_by Hic Iacet Mori_

* * *

**Chapter 24**

_"Even after Naruto brought you back... Even after all these years, Sasuke-kun... Even after everything—I still love you."_

Her words echoing in his head, Sasuke stilled, honing in on six significant words he failed to notice the previous day_. _In his mind's eye was Sakura, standing in the dusty road that led to the dock where Naruto sat, her eyes liquid and fire and overflowing when she confessed to a truth, confessed that she still felt the same _even after Naruto brought him back—_

_"He succeeded, Uchiha. Naruto-kun brought you home."_

_—_because Naruto _did—_

_"Two months after the last Akatsuki invasion, he threw himself to his duties as Rokudaime… We all thought he was just getting busy to take his mind off you, while we waited for you to wake up."_

—and _two months_, Kakashi shared, sitting in his kitchen and eating his tomatoes, _two months_ _after the invasion_ when Naruto threw himself to his duties as _Rokudaime—_

_"You woke up on the second month of your coma… He never spoke, Uchiha. You slept, and he waited_._"_

_—_which means everything Sai said—

_"Then you woke up."_

His eyes landed on shining green, green eyes that were suddenly clear and familiar and hoping, always hoping—that he would remember, understand, that he_ would come back _as their words in the past days whispered in his mind—

Words from Sai.

_"Even a memory seal cannot work against the heart. A heart can remember but it only forgets when it chooses to."_

Kakashi.

_"When every memory we have of them disappears—that's when they disappear. That's when they stop living… That's when they die."_

Sakura.

_"But he deserves to know, ne? He's your teammate too."_

"Tell me," Sasuke commanded, his shoulders set in determination. He needed to hear this from her—there were still too many holes to fill and he would use force if necessary to pry them from her. Some things he could remember. Some things he could recall with the right word, the right deed. Some things he could recognize as real.

But some things he couldn't see by his own sight alone.

_When you have slept for too long_—

"Tell me what happened after I left."

—_it takes some time to see._

Rubbing away the tears that had flowed down her cheeks, Sakura's lips parted. His own mouth tightened in a grim line, ready to hear a story he didn't know he'd been wanting to hear for so long, for _years_—

**BOOM!**

_Killing intent!_

—and Sasuke suddenly shot forward,_ flew_ beyond the bridge into the ground engulfed in thick smoke, kunai in his left hand multiplying with rapid speed—

"Sakura-chan! Sasuke-teme!"

—and furious dark eyes clashed against white bulging with veins, killing intent exploding once more but darker, deadlier. Both jumped to the side, dodging the splatter of black from a bear destroyed by a powerful punch and, momentum unbroken, Sasuke darted forward with a kunai—two, five, twelve—glinting in the sunlight and slicing the wind as they flew with vicious aim—

"Forehead!"

"_Kaiten!_"

"Neji!"—_clink! clink! clink!_—"Behind me!"—_clink clink clinkclinkclink!_—"You are _so_ dead, Hyuu—_Ino, I said behind me! _Sasuke, _calm down! _Neji, why _Kaiten_ of all damned—"

Then Sakura materialized before him, palms up and open—taking a defensive stance in front of Hyuuga winding down from his rotation, Tenten deflecting stray kunai behind him with kunai in each hand, Ino crouched behind her with wide pale blue eyes—and it was only the lightning speed of his reflex that stopped Sasuke from slicing her throat open with the kunai almost thrown by his hand.

"Sasuke-kun!—"

But suddenly he couldn't hear anything because Naruto had caught up behind him and the hair on his nape rose up in response, and he realized for the first time in a long long time that he had acted on impulse, that he had acted without thought because Naruto's distress crashed into him in waves and called out to him _by his name_ and something inside him _flipped_ and _his body moved on its own_—

"It's just a ga—"

—and perhaps the abrupt rush of adrenaline had finally caught up with him because he was a little out of breath and all of him was _shaking_—

"_Fūinjutsu: Koshi Tandan._"

—and Sasuke _felt_, more than heard—"Not the tiger, you fucker!"—and he was standing still, a loyal sentry, weapons primed as inside him he shook _harder_—

"Baka!" Pink whirled before him, floated in exasperated air, "Do you want Sasuke-kun to kill you? Sai! _Stop_ _drawing_, _I mean it! _Sasuke-kun? _Sasuke-kun!_"

With a last inward shudder he snapped from his daze. Sasuke took a shallow breath, his features settling in their usual calm, and swiftly concealed the kunai in his hand, his index finger twitching once to collect all the kunai he had thrown with his invisible chakra strings. Sakura moved to follow him, explaining it was a game—the sudden flare-up of multiple killing intent, the appearance of his best friend out of nowhere, the need to attack_ Ino_ for daring to come after _Naruto, _the call for _Sasuke-teme_—it was _just a silly game_ that the idiots failed to warn them about and why the _fuck_ did the fucker break and enter his house in the first place when he can find Naruto on his own—?!

"Idiots?!" came the sputtered echo, steadily rising in pitch. "It's _his_ fault," an insistent jabbing in the air, "for running all the way here! Probably because your forehead's so wide he can even _see_ it and he'd like to use it as a _shield_—!"

"I didn't wanna play—!"

Dark eyes narrowed. Beside him, an affronted Sakura straightened her spine, deaf to the protests Naruto had cried out in edgewise. "You're in no condition to play, you pregnant fat pig! Neji-san and Tenten-san even had to _protect _your fat ass—!"

"Gah!"

A sudden flare of chakra and his eyes widened. Understanding dawned in Sakura's eyes and in his genius mind something clicked. They swiftly turned behind them—

"Let go! Dammit, Ino, I said_ let go!_"

—as Naruto's hands began tearing down the black robe that covered his own body.

"Ever heard of the word _diversion_, Forehead?" Ino asked, her smile becoming smug as Naruto fought against every step he took to stand in front of her outstretched arm. Sasuke could see a glimpse of skin peeking out from the small tear, could see controlled hands getting whiter as they struggled to regain control against her Shinransen no Jutsu. He didn't realize that his hands were doing the same as Naruto grew paler with every strain. "Now let's see what you got under there, ne, Naruto?"

His jaw clenched and his mouth opened—

"That's enough."

—only for _Neji_ to issue the warning he was supposed to hiss out.

His teeth grounded in irritation instead.

Ino blinked, surprised, then pale blue eyes flashed with defiance and she fisted her raised hand. Naruto yelped, and cursed, and Sasuke abruptly turned around—his stomach tightening in anticipation and dread as bloodless white hands resisted their ascent to the silver hitai'ate—

"Ino!" Naruto cried out.

In a flash, Sasuke was holding Ino by the wrist.

"You really can't stay out of trouble, can you," Shikamaru grumbled behind her, his shadow stretched out and holding Sasuke by _his_ wrist. "Let go, Ino. I can barely hold on and he'll do more than break your bones."

"But—"

"You won already," Shikamaru cut in, clearly fed up with the whole situation. Sasuke himself was fed up with Nara always coming to ruin his _enjoyment._ Naruto and the rest may be nice enough to care that she's pregnant, and he himself may tolerate her for as long as he could—but to use it to force _Naruto_?

His grip tightened and Ino winced.

"And you didn't wait for us to start the game," Kiba added, having just arrived with Hinata on Akamaru. He huffed. "Cheater."

"Cheater?!" Ino exclaimed. She whirled around, and whimpered when Sasuke gave her wrist a threatening squeeze—

"A-Anou sa, it's okay, it's all just in fun, na, Ino, S-Sasuke—?"

—before abruptly letting go with a sneer of disgust.

"Sasuke-kun—"

Sakura, murmuring her admonitions, immediately moved to heal her bruise. Sasuke ignored Ino and walked to where Naruto stood, face pale and hair sweaty and lips stretching in an effort to smile. Naruto raised a hand to rub at the back of his head, and Sasuke frowned at the slight trembling the other tried to hide. "I shouldn't have overreac—"

"Idiot," Sasuke muttered, and grabbed the trembling hand.

And paused.

Naruto's hand was cold. Sweaty. But his touch was warm, familiar, still ribbons of lightning and still dancing with flames—

He swallowed, throat tight and dry.

Still felt like the sun in his fingertips—

In the quiet of late morning, Sasuke heard his heart slamming furiously against his chest.

"Holding hands," Sai mused aloud, shattering the spell of silence that descended upon the group with the uninflected voice he always used when reciting from memory. Sasuke was vaguely aware of Akimichi joining them with a Rock Lee fresh from his mission in tow, but he was mostly aware of the hand in his own and how much he didn't want to let it go.

"The gesture holds a variety of meaning, the most prominent being that the people engaged in said activity are seeing each other and probably seeing too much of each other or, in the case of Dickless, too less—"

"Lee!" Naruto boomed out, raising both arms and—Sasuke realized with irrational annoyance and _just_ a little disappointment—successfully removing the grip on his hand. He darted past Sai with an enthusiastic elbow to the gut that caught the man in pained surprise. Sasuke smirked while the rest snickered at Sai's ill-concealed groan.

Naruto reached out a fist and lightly punched Lee's shoulder in greeting—Lee, deciding on what he probably classified as the manlier approach, engulfed Naruto in a massive bear-hug.

Sasuke's mouth tightened.

"Naruto-kun!"

"Lee!"

"Naruto-kun!"

"Le—_Okay_, I'm done, can you let me breathe now?" Naruto squeaked out. "And I'm," he coughed, "not really dying to rub against you in any lifetime so…"

He felt his jaw clench.

"Only Homo, yes?" Sai piped in. As one, Sakura and Ino reached out and hit Sai upside the head. Sasuke was darkly pleased when Hinata got off Akamaru to do the same, albeit much more gently.

Or not, if Sai pitching forward was any indication.

Sasuke smirked. Hinata was a Hyuuga after all, and their _jūken_ was anything but gentle—or so he heard. The few times he sparred with Neji, the older man couldn't get past his speed and defense to even attempt a hit.

No one could deny that Uchiha Sasuke was the strongest ANBU in Konohagakure no Sato.

"Shut up pervert!" Naruto yelled from Lee's, thankfully looser, hold. Sasuke could feel his mouth draw taut again. Until when do they plan to hold each other like that?

"Naruto-kun, my joy overflows at seeing your handsome visage once again!" Lee exclaimed, a revolting fire burning bright in his shining eyes. "My yearning for ten years ends today, my dear friend! To show my extreme happiness, I challenge you to a spar of explosive proportions!"

Sasuke's eyebrow twitched.

"You were normal befo—_Handsome?_ You think I'm _handsome?_"

"Yosh!"

"Yosh too, woohoo!"

"Let us celebrate the springtime of my rival's return!"

"With ramen!"

How many rivals did this loser have? And what kind of rivals hold each other that—_intimately_?

"You can stop the man-love already," Kiba muttered. "You two together should be illegal, I'm going blind from all the shining teeth. And fuck, I'm seeing things now. I _swear_ that's a sunset."

Hinata giggled and waddled to the two, and Lee automatically released an arm to greet the woman with a pat on her belly. Naruto, freed at last, allowed his arm to hang on Lee's shoulders and gave her a thumbs-up. Hinata gave him a warm smile.

"Kiba-kun and I would love to have you as our child's godfather, Naruto-kun—"

Sasuke's other eyebrow joined the twitching. And that bushy-browed loser never greeted him like that. Hell, Rock Lee never greeted anyone else like that, as far as he remembered. And calling Naruto _handsome_? What, the bowl-haired moron comes back and suddenly Sakura wasn't good enough for him?

"How did you survive him? And the crashing waves?" Chouji asked Tenten, nearest him, good-naturedly as he greeted Ino with a peck on the cheek—which Sasuke noticed because he was trying to quell their blathering with his irritated stare. Ino, he noticed, glanced up and exchanged a look with her husband, nodding her head to Naruto's direction.

Sasuke heard an almost inaudible intake of breath beside him. His eyes slid to Sakura who, like the rest, was watching the compelling trio. His brows furrowed in question before returning to looking at his friend, and he felt his breath freeze when Naruto reached down—

_That sly little_—

—and drew a _crying_ Hinata into his embrace.

_What the_**_ fuck_**_ is she crying for?_

And they were _whispering _now. Sasuke tried to read her lips but, for some reason, there was a strange haze over his eyes that rendered the basic task inutile. He gritted his teeth in frustration as he narrowed his eyes in concentration, annoyed that he wasn't making any headway. Now Naruto was talking—and he _still_ couldn't read _anything_ probably because the moron's smile was _blinding_ and _why wasn't Inuzuka breaking them up?_

The dying laughter finally caught his attention. Everyone seemed to be _smiling_, what the fuck were they smiling for there was _nothing_ to smile for—

"You accept loss of sight and hook up with someone who has it in spades. Of course," Tenten was saying, and her smile turned teasing, "if that someone sucks in relationships, you better find the person with the best eyesight to straighten him out."

Now Sakura was _giggling_. He glanced at her, feeling an odd sense of betrayal rising inside him. Sasuke could count the few times in his life that he was happy—this moment was not one of them.

And her eyes weren't supposed to shine like that. There wasn't anything amusing about Naruto hugging a crying woman—

"She means Dickless," Sai threw in helpfully, cluing everyone else that it was supposed to be for his benefit by turning to him. Sasuke wasn't grateful. He was doing a very fine job of ignoring the inane conversation because it wasn't—

"Hyuuga broke his neck when he called Tenten-san the hottest showgirl Konoha never had."

—worth his time.

Sasuke turned to the idiot's direction, his fists clenching tight enough to break a neck had someone been unfortunately trapped in it. Hottest showgirl, huh? First Michiru the _female escort_, now Hyuuga Tenten the _hottest showgirl Konoha never had_? What, the moron preferred ladies of the night?

Sai, following the line of his sight, smiled in understanding. "It was the skirt-obsessed Hyuuga, not the pants-wearing one. Though between the two of us, Dickless should have gone for him instead. He likes long legs and round ass and Hyuuga has both. His hair is long too but more importantly, he has a penis to share."

_"You looked really cute with short hair, but I think I've always liked you in longer hair." _

"It's not between the two of you if we can hear it," Shikamaru drawled.

_"Guess I prefer long hair on girls, huh?"_

"Not cool, man," Kiba added, frowning. "Naruto's probably still hung up on Sakura and wouldn't have 'gone for' Neji. Besides, he's married."

_"You must be really beautiful now, Sakura-chan."_

"Are you implying I would have let him had I not been married?" Neji asked coolly.

Sasuke didn't care—

Kiba raised his hands in a placating gesture. "Chill, I'm not implying anything. Just saying he wouldn't have gone for you. My man's _straight_."

—he's just _getting pissed off._

"I should be terribly bothered by this conversation but I'm too entertained to be," Tenten commented. "But I can't let this go—long legs and round ass, Sai-san? Have you been peeping on my husband?"

He should be walking away. Sasuke had done so easily in the past. He liked being alone and when people approached him and began talking, he just walked away.

At Sai's enigmatic smile, Tenten raised a hand to her forehead and attempted to hide a smile. "Carry on. Kiba was explaining why Naruto wouldn't have gone for Neji."

Why wasn't he walking away _now?_

"We are _not_ talking about this," Sakura groaned, finally joining in.

Oh yes. Because he was here _first._

_Go tell them, Sakura_, he inwardly growled.

"Too hot to handle?" Ino chimed in with a leer. Sakura, Sasuke noticed, was glaring at her. Good. _They _were here _first_. And _what the fuck does too hot to handle mean?_

Ino was fast becoming an equal to Sai in his eyes.

Chouji snorted when Kiba huffed and stomped off to his wife, muttering about blonde yaoi fan girls and their fantasies. Ino winked and followed to pester the annoyed man—"Ne, ne, I think Neji-san is seme but Naruto's really persuasive, he can really turn people around—in more ways than one, teehee!"—with increasingly annoying ideas.

_"Didn't take you for the uke, Sas_**_uke_**_."_

"She's really asking for it, isn't she. So troublesome," Shikamaru mumbled.

His Sharingan was flashing on and off again and Sasuke couldn't find the will to be concerned.

Chouji shrugged. "Kiba just can't stand the idea that Naruto may not care about that. You know why."

Sasuke needed—

Sakura sighed, and prepared to launch off to her happy place. "Sarcoidosis."

—to calm—

Neji snorted. "Unfortunately, we see eye-to-eye here. Unlike my cousin-in-law, however, I accept there is nothing I can do if that turns out to be the case and I see no reason to actively fight against it. Some things are fated."

—the _fuck_—

"Either my ears are deceiving me or you men are gossiping about Naruto's _preference_. And fate, Neji-wedgie? I thought you're done with that ages ago," Tenten chided lightly.

—down.

Chouji nudged his best friend and Shikamaru answered with a weary grimace. "Think about the kind of person Naruto is," he offered with a lazy shrug. "He cares for many but there are the few he cares for _more_, and it may extend to preferences: probability 50/50. But if it's not a probability—if it's fact—and if you look at his history… the one person that holds his attention the most…"

And he's not listening.

Tenten, nodding all the while, stopped at Shikamaru's pause, blinking as understanding dawned in her eyes. Shikamaru continued. "Now think about Kiba."

He's _not._

"Fierce and loyal and stubborn and protective…" she commented, "He _is_ like a dog, isn't he. A true Inuzuka guard."

Sasuke took another deep, calming breath.

"I can't believe you joined them," Sakura finally threw in, giving the older kunoichi a withering stare.

What the fuck did the mutt care who Naruto liked?

"This isn't any different with that afternoon we were discussing which of our boys can have a gay future," Tenten said with a smile.

In fact, what the hell were they standing around for, discussing this part of the idiot's life as if they're entitled to it?

"… Troublesome." "Gay future?" "Did you want me, your husband, to be gay so much?"

Who Naruto chose to be with was of no concern to them.

"But this is Naruto!" she cried out.

_This is Naruto—_

"You're _way_ invested in your sister act, Sakura," Tenten commented. Her eyes narrowed. "Or maybe it's not it, ne? Something else hiding under all that pink?"

_—and they should _**_back the fuck off_**_._

"Hottest name in town, I just heard!" Naruto called out. "What about me, guys?"

"Nothing!" Sakura answered quickly. "Just—_Sasuke-kun?_"

"Sakura," he returned placidly. Her features were too sharp. In fact, everything was too sharp.

"… Is anything okay?" she asked, almost hesitant.

Sasuke raised an eyebrow, closing his eyes briefly in the process. His Sharingan—he knew why it's acting up. Had always known all along.

It just took too long to accept why.

"Sakura-chan?"

Sakura replied to his silence with an uncertain smile before heading to to Naruto. The others took this as a cue to follow en masse, leaving Sasuke to stand by himself as he folded his arms behind his head.

He realized faintly that he hadn't done this in a long time too.

"Baka, you took too long! I've been waiting under the sun for hours!" Sakura berated. She cuffed Naruto by the back of his slightly torn robe, the latter whimpering as Sakura inadvertently pulled at his hair.

"But it's Ino's fault! I was coming for you but she's just suddenly there!"

"So I distracted you, Naruto-_kun_?" Ino purred. Sasuke felt fire threatening to burst out of his skin when the very-much married blonde woman wrapped her arms behind the frozen man and _rubbed her breasts against his back_—

He felt his nails digging on his forearms.

_And then Chouji would lose his wife._

"Ugh, cut it out!" Naruto groused, pulling away with a light color on his face. A buzzing was coming alive in Sasuke's head again, louder and more vicious. "It's not gonna work anymore, seriously—Chouji's a saint to put up with you, y'know—and Sai was there too! Honestly, you two together should be illegal."

Ino grinned, taking a little step back. "Ooh, our little Naruto, innocent no more? Is she big up there? Or—" her grin widened, "—is _he_ big down there?"

"I-Ino!" Hinata stuttered out, scandalized.

"Ino-buta!" Sakura screeched.

"So_ I_ distracted you, Naruto-_kun_?" Sai asked, his voice deeper as he appeared on Ino's stead. Sasuke felt fire threatening to burst out of his mouth when the very-much perverted retarded loser wrapped his arms around the waist of the frozen man and _nuzzled the crook of his neck_—

_And then Sai would have to die_.

"Same goes for you!" Naruto growled with a vicious jab to Sai's unprotected stomach, and another as he struggled with angry red on his cheeks. Sai's smile strained around the edges, his brows crumpling in pain, and released the annoyed man at the fifth—or sixth, seventh?—elbow jab.

"Enough. _Idiots_," Sakura hissed, cracking her fists in a persuasive show of strength. Ino and Sai backed away, understanding the threats to their lives with placating smiles. Rolling her eyes, she leaned forward and wrapped her left arm around Naruto, pulling him down to whisper in his ear.

A splash of pink slowly spread out on Naruto's neck, climbing up to reach his ears.

_How far down does it reach?_

Sasuke inwardly growled in disgust. He _knew_ he was attracted to Naruto but did he have to be a pervert about it? He's an Uchiha, for Kami's sake. He was not some common… _civilian_ who needed to rub himself like he'd _die_ without cum in his hands. He had _morals_—

Mocking him, his mind replayed memories of last night in vivid, tantalizing stills. How Naruto lay below him, panting, the sun of his hair tousled in golden disarray, his cheeks flushed red from laughing too much, body hard and unyielding between his clothed thighs—

He swallowed, felt his eyes flutter close. The one time in a long time that he got physically close to another person—to a _man_, to _Naruto_—he didn't realize it could be so—_so—_

He unconsciously licked his bottom lip_—_and bit down, suppressing a groan.

_Fuck_, why him? Why did it have to be his best friend?

_Why Naruto?_ his mind whispered in resignation.

"Aww. Forehead wants alone time with her _boyfriend_," Ino cooed.

His eyes shot open, his arms dropping to his side.

Sakura jumped away and instinctively swatted at Ino.

"Pregnant abuse!"

"You're not even showing_—_" Sakura sniffed.

"I know," Ino cut in smugly.

"_—yet_, Ino-_ushi_."

"Are you implying I'm a _cow_?!"

"A _fat_ cow."

"… At least I have boobs!"

"I felt her boobs! I know you have boobs, Sakura-chan!" Naruto yelled, coming to Sakura's rescue.

Sasuke glared. Fucking _dobe_.

"Ugh," Shikamaru groaned. "I should've slept in." He gave Chouji a sleepy glare. "I'd break off our friendship if it wasn't too troublesome."

"Her breasts are as plump as peaches kissed by the morning dew!" Lee declared with a blush on his face. "N-Not that I've t-touched it!" he stuttered bashfully.

"Anyway!" Sakura said loudly, throwing an unimpressed look at her snorting friend, thwacking Naruto_—"Itai!"_—and Lee_—"Ow!"—_on the head at the same time. She smiled, eyes softer, as she stopped Naruto's bellyaching with a hand on his wrist. "So you'll come, okay?"

"I bet she said something naughty," Ino told Hinata in a stage-whisper, tittering at Sakura. Hinata blushed at the implication of her words.

Sasuke glared harder.

"No, you don't get to corrupt her with your evil ways," Kiba growled, placing an arm around Hinata's shoulders and raising a hand to ward her off. Neji nodded with great approval and Kiba smirked. "Only I do."

Neji glowered.

"Who stabbed me?!"

"Kiba-kun," Hinata murmured fondly. She reached to his back and unblocked his tenketsu, then threw her cousin an amused glare. Tenten chuckled.

"But what's the occasion?" Naruto asked. His head tilted in thought, blind to the rest as they threw each other varying looks of shock. Sasuke observed them with an eyebrow raised, still bloody pissed off but curious, now. Extreme reactions to a simple question…

"… You don't know?" Sakura asked in a hushed voice.

"Uh, no," Naruto answered. Then his face cleared up and punched his palm in triumph. "I know! Of course!"

Sakura nodded with an affectionate smile. "Only you—"

"It's because we're all here!"

The smile dropped. "What? No—"

"Did you forget me again, Naruto?" asked Aburame Shino, appearing seemingly out of nowhere.

"Whoa, dude! Where did you ninja from?!"

"This is the second time, Uzumaki Naruto. Do you not realize the hurt you inflict on a comrade when you forget him?"

Kakashi, chuckling in his head—_"Do you recognize him? Of course not. How would you?"_—

Naruto grimaced. "You're still the same, Shino. Still touchy."

"Only because you are a friend," Shino said darkly, completely unembarrassed by his sentimental words.

Which Naruto seemed to appreciate, if his grin was any indication. "I missed you too, dude."

"Yes, you did," Shino remarked, voice flat. "When you suggested that _we're all here_ and I have yet to make myself known."

—Sakura, her smile breaking at the back of his eyes—_"And then we became closer. We became a team. Friends. Family."_—

"Okay, I think I'm going to take it back," Naruto muttered. "You're still the same. Still annoying."

"Oh just _hug _him!" Ino teased. "I'm sure Shino just need your _love_ to ease his pain!"

—and Sasuke, eyes rising to glare her to ashes.

"Hey Shikamaru, I know Ino can project her mind with jutsu but is there a jutsu where she can project her hormones? Because I think she's trying damned hard and _it's not working_," Naruto finished with an annoyed growl.

"She's crazy right now," Sakura said, patting him consolingly. "If I could, I'd give all of us a booster shot of patience."

"Chouji probably ate it all already," Naruto groused. "He's so serene over there. Or maybe resigned. Like a man prepared to die or something."

"It's called love, Naruto," Chouji returned with a hint of humor in his voice.

Naruto pointed at him, trembling with horror. "You cheese mold! Your man-card is officially revoked! All in favor?"

"Aye!" Kiba shouted.

"Aye," Shikamaru muttered.

Neji nodded. "Hn."

"Yes," Shino agreed.

"Chouji, the purity of your feelings inspires me!" Lee declared.

"Lee never had one to begin with," Naruto muttered. "Or just dropped 'em frolicking in flower fields or shit."

Sasuke snorted quietly before he could stop himself.

Sai, who had contented himself with watching, shook his head. "I find it astounding that a dickless like you can revoke a man-card. Don't you have to be a man to do so in the first place? Or perhaps you need one?"

His glare returned and aimed at Sai.

"Fucking assho—!"

"Oh hush," Ino admonished, slapping Naruto on the arm and stopping his attack as he flinched. She smiled and reached forward, enfolding the man in her arms. Sasuke's hands twitched, his glare transferring to Chouji. The fuck kind of a man would allow his wife to grope another man? "I'm just really glad to see you again."

"Missed the blond-talks, huh?" Naruto teased.

"A lot," she returned with a sincerity that even Sasuke couldn't begrudge. He frowned when Ino began shaking. Probably laughing because of another perverted idea—

"Are you crying too?" Naruto asked, stunned.

"O-Of course not," Ino denied, clearing her throat in a very unconvincing manner. Sasuke's brows furrowed, stepping a little to his right to see that, indeed, Akimichi Ino was crying.

"You are! I can smell it!"

"So what?" she choked out. "I'm pregnant, I can break down when I want to. Stupid hormones."

She's shaking too much, Sasuke thought, wondering. Ino was shaking too much, crying so hard, so quietly. Like she didn't want to be heard. Like she didn't want Naruto to know.

Almost like she's—

"Sakura-chan too?"

His curiosity turned to annoyance when _Sakura_ joined in with a tearful smile.

"Hinata? Again?"

And Hinata, her body racked with silent sobs.

"Guys? A little help here?" Naruto pleaded, panicked.

"Be a man and take it," Tenten said, chuckling, and embraced him as well. Her mouth was clamped close, her brows smooth, but Sasuke could see the tears in her eyes. Could see one and the other falling down seemingly without her notice.

"Man. If being away for ten years gets me that, I'm in!" Kiba exclaimed with a bark of laughter.

"You're married, stupid," Ino threw out, giggling wetly.

And, for some reason, they all began to laugh.

_They love him._

And Sasuke had to glance away for a second because, seeing his peers like this, together, was doing nauseating things to his heart.

_"They're all laughing…"_

He bit his lip, his eyes stinging.

_"They're all laughing because they know nothing!" _

For years he stayed away. He never sought their company, he didn't like being around people. He left whenever they sought his and he wondered how they could stand to be around him at all.

_"Itachi is dead so they can stand there laughing!"_

They hated him, he knew. Hated him for leaving and turning his back on his friends for the family who left him behind.

_"Your laughter sounds like scorn and disdain to me now!"_

But he worked hard. He worked hard for the forgiveness he didn't think he wanted until one day, they did.

_"I want to change that laughter to screams and moans!"_

It was only now that he understood why they hated him at all.

_They love him so much._

His heart thumped painfully in his chest.

_This is Naruto and he loves them back._

"Enough with the waterworks!" Ino exclaimed. Chouji handed her a handkerchief, which she gratefully used to dab at her eyes. Beaming at her husband, she backed away to link arms with him. "I'm starving!"

"Ramen!"

_(But what about me?)_

"No," Neji said, putting his foot down. Tenten giggled, rubbing her face with such careless disregard that Neji smirked as he stood beside her. "I've been eating it since you came back," he added.

"His hair is beginning to smell like miso," Tenten joked.

"Besides, you're not joining them," Sakura said empathically. Naruto slumped forward. "We're not done. And Sasuke-kun's been waiting for you too. He has," she glanced at him, "something important to tell you."

Naruto froze. Sasuke, partly annoyed and partly amused, realized that the idiot had probably forgotten that he was there. Or thought ignoring him would make him go away.

Tch. That wouldn't even work on a fan girl.

He inwardly smirked. Sakura was on his side now. He watched Naruto grow steadily paler, darkly entertained, as the others bid their farewells. There's no escaping for the idiot.

"Oi, Shino!" Naruto called out, almost desperate. Sasuke felt the right side of his mouth stretching up. "How'd you get here so early? I thought you're gonna be with Kankurou and Gaara!"

Shino stilled. Behind him, Hinata and Kiba stopped as well, waiting for their former teammate while the others went ahead. "I finished my mission as soon as Hinata sent me her missive," he replied. "Kazekage-sama gave permission to go ahead." A hand landed on his hip. "I was expecting to be in time for the game."

"The one time we did it and it's become tradition, huh," Naruto commented, a little smile on his face.

"However, the game ended early. It appears Ino remains your downfall," Shino observed.

Naruto turned to Sai, seemingly glaring from behind his blind. "If this asshole would stop supporting her, she wouldn't be. And she knows the Language, she's using esoteric knowledge to get me!"

Shino shrugged, neatly deflecting the idiocy. "What does she get this time?"

"Wha—she doesn't get anything. I wasn't ready!" Naruto exclaimed, a touch indignant. "And don't tell me I'm the only thief!"

"Of course not," Shino said, scoffing. "You will come back later when we continue our aborted game."

"Good!"

Shino nodded, having nothing else to say. "Well then. Ja na."

"Wait!" Naruto yelped.

Sasuke scoffed. And snorted when Naruto flinched at his hint that he knew what the idiot was trying to do.

Shino, however, was clearly annoyed. "The kikai are agitated, Naruto. It is imperative I tend to their concerns and your presence does not help at all."

Naruto's mouth twitched, pulling down. "You're really still annoying, huh."

"Stop stalling, baka," Sakura cut in, fed up. She waved to the trio and grabbed Naruto's wrist with her other hand, pulling the man into a fast stride. "Come on, we've taken enough time. There's somewhere we have to be!"

Sasuke raised an eyebrow, following unwillingly. Where the hell did Sakura plan to go with the idiot?

He frowned when Sai smiled, acting as his self-appointed Explainer of All Things. "The Third Training Ground, Homo. I suggest you refrain from hiding your questions to yourself, it isn't wise. People remain stupid that way. Na, Naruto?"

"Yeah, sure," Naruto muttered, distracted. Sakura had broken into a jog and he had to speed up or risk falling on his face. Sasuke and Sai increased their pace—Sasuke wasn't aware, just intent on following Naruto ."That's… our old training ground? What are we doing there again? Sakura-chan? Hey!"

A few silent seconds immediately flew by. Then Sakura released her grip and turned around, suddenly, tucking her hands behind her back and giggling when Naruto almost stumbled before immediately righting himself. Behind them Sasuke stopped as well, Sai ahead by a couple of steps, and blinked.

"Baka," she huffed out, the traces of laughter lingering on her lips. "What's the date today, huh?"

Sasuke's eyes widened, realization expanding in his chest.

_"Why are you here?"_

He remembered the calendar he glanced at yesterday.

_"Don't pretend to be happy on my account. Uzumaki here ran into me, told him I plan to meet you, and_**_ then_**_ he invited me here."_

Remembered wondering if it was that time already.

_"Really smart, y'know, instead of having _**_someone_**_ force me to meet _**_him_**_ in a ramen stand. I'm not even a ramen fan."_

He and Suigetsu always met on the same day—

The ninth.

"… Anou, 10?" Naruto asked, hesitant.

"Of?" Sakura drew out.

And Sasuke turned away—

"You're late," Kakashi greeted from his perch on the center training post, a stack of bento on the post to his right as he turned a page of his favorite book.

—because for reasons he couldn't fathom—

"_We're_ late?! How, why? _Gah,_ the world's ending! What's going on?!"

—his heart was aching but he could hardly stop smiling.


	29. Chapter 25

**A/N: **We have an upcoming long vacation and I'm seizing this chance to rest. I've been sickly a lot lately, haha, and I reckon this is my body's way to force me to eat veggies (which I'll never do, of course). I promise, though, that the last chapter would come out before December. But if you have questions/concerns/rants after reading, I can be reached through PM and twitter and I'll try to respond. :)_  
_

To _Anonymous_: I understand your frustration immensely, I feel it myself. I hope these updates would lessen it somehow, if you're still around to read this. If not, I really understand. :)

Please enjoy.

* * *

_October 31, 2012_

* * *

**The Sky  
**

_by Hic Iacet Mori_

* * *

**Chapter 25**

It could be a sign of age. Or the weather, cool with its undertone of winter yet warm with its autumn sun. It could be the encounter with his peers—_acquaintances? comrades? friends?_—too, that aggravated and frustrated and amused and enlightened. It could be the day itself, with its significance in the history of the village.

To him.

"What's go—_bento?!_"

It could be one of those things or all those things or not at all, but suddenly Sasuke was feeling a nostalgia so deep that for a moment, he was blind to the present and the past was all he could see.

"You brought _bento_, sensei?!"

Looking back and remembering the good old days were never his style. They weren't_ good old days_—they were just days in the village when he looked forward and trained so he'd never repeat his past_, _just days in the village when he looked back and remembered so he'd never forget his future. Just _days without his family_—yet Sasuke couldn't help but see a laughing boy in orange, a smiling girl in red, running to a man with secrets hidden behind a knowing eye and think that perhaps, perhaps, as he watched a small smile tug up the lips of a silent boy in blue, perhaps he had good old days all along.

"Come _on_, guys! What's going on?"

They were soldiers yet they were children and they had all the time in the world, but time had ceased for the boy in blue many precious lives ago—he existed in seconds _(stab)_, in stolen breaths _(stab)_, in inhales and exhales _(stabstabstab)_, in the bursts of air carried by his blood to his heart that beat to the cadence of a steel-edged sword_—_

_(stabstabstabstabstab)_

—he lived on borrowed time with no thought to the present—he was chasing after the past hiding somewhere in his future, and he had no care for minutes or hours or days or even years—he cared only for _seconds_, _counted_ it at the back of his mind, the seconds to the last when he delivered his justice and his hand swayed with the rhythm that drummed ceaseless in his heart—

_(stabstabstabSTABSTAB—)_

"Can't I treat my favorite students once in a while?"

But then—

"You can but you _don't!_ You're so stingy, you probably leeched this off some unsuspecting guy—woulda been Yamato-taichou if he was here, poor guy—or maybe you _stole_ it!—"

—as Sasuke grasped onto seconds of tears and blood—

"—And we're your only students, _Baka-shi-sensei!"_

—grasped onto seconds of hatred pumped by his heart—

"Mou, you shouldn't accuse pure-hearted teachers or ruin their names and insult them. Especially one with a heart that bleeds for his students…"

—as he grasped onto seconds that Itachi breathed last—

"Ne, that's too much melodrama even for me, sensei. Only Iruka-sensei can pull that off…"

—Naruto took his seconds and gave his own days.

"See? Even Sakura-chan doesn't believe you!"

It wasn't even a question anymore.

"Maa, it seems Naruto doesn't want to eat! Na, Naruto?"

To have those days—_remember_ them—clear and vivid and just beyond his reach—

"O-Oi! Stop putting words in my mouth!"

Days of arguing and fighting, competing and struggling—

"I have the favorite of my lovely Sakura."

Days of helping each other and working together—

"For my handsome Sasuke, loads of his favorite too."

Days of scowling and frowning and smiling and laughing—

"What about me?!"

His days with Naruto—

"My cute little Naruto gets veggies!"

They were good old days.

"_Whaaaat?! _No way!—"

_So why did you take—_

"And I'm not cute! I'm handsome!"

_—the days I could have been with you?_

"But you look cute, _Naruko-chan._"

Naruto attacked Kakashi as Sakura hid her smile beside Sai.

_Why did you leave, Naruto?_

* * *

Kakashi had done a fine job of eating despite the vigilant eyes of the sighted members of Team Seven. He was the earliest to finish and was now reading, again, as if preparing for some Icha Icha recitation contest. Sasuke wouldn't be surprised if there _were_ such a contest, and even be more unsurprised if Kakashi had won all of them. What did Kakashi even do in his spare time, anyway? It couldn't be reading Icha Icha all day, he already did that on missions and training. Besides, Sasuke couldn't imagine Kurenai being happy about it—they were not married but they lived together in a committed relationship, and she wouldn't have wanted her son exposed to Kakashi's questionable habits—

Perhaps sensing his thoughts, Kakashi looked up from his book, a repulsive pink on the visible skin above his nose, and curved his eye.

_"Welcome back."_

He threw the man a flat stare and turned across him, to Sakura, who sat cross-legged beside Naruto and giggled at his mimicry of a parrot of some pirates that attempted to take over the ship he had sailed on. Sensing his gaze, Sakura glanced at him and smiled, before returning her attention to the storyteller in their midst.

He returned to his meal. He had sensed her furtive glances when she thought he wasn't looking before, and what those meant eluded him. Sasuke supposed it was related to her confession yesterday—her feelings were still there, she had said, that she believed it won't ever change. That a part of her would always be his.

But she loved Naruto more and she would always choose Naruto over him.

His grip on his chopsticks tightened. What did that even _mean?_ She wasn't in love with Naruto, was she?

_"I missed you."_

He squeezed his eyes shut, his thoughts returning to their previous track. Those words—affectionate, hopeful—perhaps his absent memories _did_ change him that much, but how? Sasuke remembered them, never forgot _Kakashi_, _Sakura_. He remembered everybody else. How much had Sasuke changed that his actions would reveal he was remembering Naruto?

_ "—you are remembering, aren't you."_

Even _Sai_ knew. Sai, who was never his teammate, never his friend. How could a mere outsider—a shinobi of esteem, true, one of the strongest of the ANBU—recognize it?

He glanced up. Sai was perched on a branch, drawing. He had politely declined a bento, insisting this moment belonged to the Team Seven of old—which Sasuke smugly lorded over the other man in silence by sitting down on the grass to form a circle with Kakashi, Sakura, and Naruto—before jumping up the tree and producing a brush.

It had been close to an hour, judging by the position of the sun, and still the man drew. It reminded him of the picture book in his pocket, the book Sai used as his reason to look for Naruto in his house. But, Sasuke frowned, Sai _had _found Naruto ahead of him. Sai was with Ino and the Hyuuga couple. Sai was Ino's support in the game Naruto didn't want to play.

He remembered wondering, annoyed, why Sai had to break and enter his house if he knew how to find Naruto in the first place—but what if that wasn't the case?

_"I do not know your whole story and I am not interested to know at all."_

A ridiculous thought began to form in his mind_._

_"However, Naruto-kun's story is incomplete without yours—"_

What if Sai knew where Naruto was all along?

_ "—and I have fought alongside him to see it to its end."_

Sasuke remembered dark eyes, blazing, a smile on pale lips, a voice ringing clear with its sincere desire to kill—and a scroll unfurling with the echoes of a past steady and wavering with yearning, with will _("I really don't care what they say, he's the bond I've been waiting for.")_. He remembered jerking to a stop with his heart pounding beyond miles (_"Even if he acts like he doesn't care, even if it hurts more than thinking that he hates me.")_, his head spinning, his soul aching _("Even if he tries to kill me, as long he's nowhere near my heart, I know he doesn't mean a fuck of it.")_, crumbling and struggling because he was an _Uchiha _but he was **_Sasuke_** and he was weak to a recorded voice that _never stopped believing—_

_("I know he still feels it.")_

_I do_, a faint voice whispered_—cried out_ in his mind—_I do I do I do I do I **do**—_

—and finally the thought completed, making a hell lot of sense. The picture book, Sai needn't let him see—the audio-recording scroll, Sai needn't let him hear. In fact, if Sai were looking for Naruto, he needn't bring the scroll that recorded Naruto's declarations all those years ago at all. Naruto knew them already.

But Sasuke _didn't_.

He watched Sai jump down, walk to where Naruto now told the story of an island of people who thought he was a _god_—

"—I's just, yosh, free food! But they only gave me swords—kickass swords, mind you, still have some of them with me!—and fucking _balance scales_ then they began calling me—get this—_Lady Justice!_ Blind to status and shit and impartial and fair, 's what they said. What the _fuck, _right? I know!—and I'd have stayed _longer_, honest, if they'd just stop calling me _Lady!_"

Sai, who he hardly worked with. Sai, who he hardly spoke with. Sai, who he hardly noticed.

_"The only cure to forgetting is remembering, Uchiha. And—"_

Sai, who wasn't his friend.

_"—you are remembering, aren't you."_

"They must have been an enlightened lot," came the comment with a pleasant smile—from Sai, who knew _Naruto wasn't there and Sasuke was alone._

Sasuke scowled, reacting both to the irritating expression and his epiphany. Naruto, sensing that annoying smile as well, practically growled, "Don't say _anything_ or I'll—"

"Give me a sword as well? No, thank you, mine is fine. However," Sai tilted his head, thinking, "I'm in dire need of a firm, unspoiled sheathe and I presume you have one that will fit mine perfectly. Or at least one that would not tear so easily, I wouldn't want you in tears if my sword proves too tight for your sheathe after all."

Sasuke didn't want to dwell on how quickly he had caught on, and he didn't want to dwell on how he had _glared_ the same time as Kakashi _giggled_ and Sakura _reddened_—

"Wait, what?" Naruto asked, an eyebrow raised, "You lost me on _sheathe_, and why's everyone…" The same eyebrows knotted in displeasure as an idea dawned on him. "That was something perverted, wasn't it. The sheathe and sword, you weren't really talking ab—_oh fuck_," he breathed out, _finally_ catching on at Sakura's murmur of diseases against Kakashi's uncontrollable giggling. His next words came out slow, measured, leaving no room for _any_ misunderstanding, "You did_ not_ just mean what I think you _did_—"

—but Sasuke _did _want to dwell on how great perverts they all turned out to be and who to blame for this perversion—_fucking **Kakashi**_—and who the most perverted of them all was and if he could get away with murder if he pleaded self-defense from retarded perverts—

"If you think I meant my sword as my penis and your sheath as your ass then no, you're mistaken. I truly have a sword in need of a sheathe," Sai rejoined. Sakura's murmurs became a chant of psychological neuroses while Kakashi settled into quiet snickers. His own glare turned into a disbelieving stare before he scoffed, and returned to his neglected meal to eat the last tomato.

_Right._

"Although your ass is a thing of beauty and a joy forever, it is already accounted for," Sai continued with a beatific smile. "I am simply not interested in you that way," he added as an afterthought. "Sexually," in a helpful tone.

Sasuke dimly noted that his eyes had an adverse reaction to Kakashi's guffaws. Sakura's tedious chants now blasted across him as passionate orations, and Naruto on his right was on the verge of destruction.

_"_You perverted _asshole!"_

"Dickless—"

Sasuke dimly noted that he had accidentally set his own chopsticks on fire.

"_Liar!_"

"Naruto-kun. I am in _no_ way, shape, or form sexually interested in you," Sai assured the furious man. "I am a man possessing a man's appetite and your unfortunate deficiency will greatly inhibit our sexual lives. I cannot join you in celiba—"

Naruto snapped and lunged forward, enraged—

_"**Die!**"_

—to get his shoulders caught by waiting hands and pulled forward in a kiss.

Sasuke, hardly interested, paused before inwardly shrugging his shoulders as he finished chewing. So it was a kiss—fact remained it was on the forehead. Nothing odd about it, if one could get past the fact that it was a kiss on the forehead given by a man to another man.

"Sasuke, I'm sure the grass didn't mean to stand in your way," Kakashi commented, eye curved.

He raised a cool eyebrow, not at all curious why Kakashi now stood in front of him—it wasn't of interest, Kakashi could stand wherever he wanted. Sakura, meanwhile, had jumped up at the sudden turn of events while Naruto's mouth had dropped open in shock.

Sai was smiling.

"I'm sure they're really sorry," Kakashi added. Sasuke almost rolled his eyes and looked down.

Scorch marks.

Uncontrollable bursts of electricity seemed to affect the grass beneath his hand negatively.

Naruto came awake with a screech, "_Why'dyoudothatyoupervert?!"_

Sai cocked his head. "You didn't have a problem when Ugly kissed you on the cheek the other day—"

"Sai-no-baka…"

"T-T-That's_ Sakura-chan_! Jerk!"

"—and when Kakashi-sempai kissed you on the mouth yesterday—"

"… _Kakashi-sensei_ and _Naruto?!_"

"_What?!"_

"—so I realized it must be my turn today," he concluded with a nod.

Sasuke placed his empty bento on the scorched earth and calmly turned to his soon-to-be-incinerated former teacher.

"… Kiss?"

"Maa, maa, it's all a big misunderstanding—" Kakashi started, waving his hands dismissively.

"You kissed _Naruto?_ On the_ mouth?_" Sakura yelled.

"It wasn't a kiss!" Naruto protested. "It wasn't!"

"Your propensity for repetition is beginning to concern me, Ugly," Sai observed with a frown. "This may be symptomatic of a pathological disorder—"

"… Kiss," Sasuke repeated.

"Naruto's right, everyone, it _wasn't_ a kiss—"

"Shut up, Sai! Sensei! You _kissed_ Naruto? _On the mouth?!_"

"It was mouth-to-mouth resusci-thingie, okay?! Sensei gave me mouth-to-mouth 'coz I choked on his condom!"

Silence is golden, and there was nowhere as golden as the Third Training Ground of Konoha right then.

However, silence included the quiet before the storm.

**BOOM!**

"_Fuck_, that came out wrong!" Naruto exclaimed, face bursting an unhealthy red. "_Fuck-fuck-**fuck**!_"

**BOOM!**

"While it's a pleasure to behold such excellent teamwork from the two of you," Kakashi said as he dodged a punch and a torrent of flames—_"Ooh, that's one long-burning Katon"_—**BOOM!**—_"That's the third crater, Sakura"_—used _Kawarimi _again before countering—_"Suiton: Suiryūdan no Jutsu"_—and pausing to catch his breath, "here are three things you have to realize—"

"Hentai-sensei! Where do you get all these scarecrows?!" **BOOM!**

"You may want to revise your words," Sai advised Naruto as he began a new sketch. "Homo and Ugly are quite unhappy right now."

"_One_, I am no longer your tea—_"Mizu Bunshin no Jutsu!"_—cher and you are no longer my students._ Two_—**BOOM!**—I don't have bells with me—"

"Just stay still and let me take care of you, Kakashi."

"—and _three, _listen to Naruto before listening to your own dirty conclusions and _that's really sweet, Sasuke_, but I'm in a committed relationship right no—"

"**_Die!_**"

"What the fuck is going on?!" Naruto demanded.

Perhaps sensing how little time he had left to live, Kakashi dropped three smoke bombs and Sasuke and Sakura swiftly jumped back—_"Sharingan!"—_his own fist clenching into _Chidori Eisō_ and Sakura strengthening her already powerful fists with _Chakura no Mesu_. Three tomoe spinning rapidly, Sasuke cursed when his kekkei-genkai caught two figures with similar chakra flow hidden beneath the thick smoke.

"Your idiocy has no limit, doesn't it," Sai commented, somewhat loud against the white-hot buzzing in his own head. "Even a blind man would know they aren't dancing."

"Kage bunshin?" Sakura guessed, having gauged his ealier reaction. He grunted in response.

Her mouth stretched into a grin and Sasuke found himself approving of this turn of events when the same thought crossed his mind.

"All the better to hurt him, ne, Sasuke-kun," Sakura practically purred. He smirked. That the Sharingan could discern a kage bunshin from the original was a lie at best—even Byakugan with its detailed view of the chakra pathway system couldn't pinpoint the person from his shadow clones—but that was irrelevant right now. Unlike other clone types immediately discernible to his kekkai genkai, a dispelled kage bunshin would pass on its memories to the shinobi who created it.

His smirk deepened.

Including memories of pain.

From out of nowhere came a powerful gust. As one, Sasuke and Sakura lunged forward, chakra concentrated in their hands as a spear and scalpel, ready to stab the incorrigible Kakashi into a lacerated pile of oblivion as the smoke completely cleared away.

Sasuke's eyes widened. _Fuc—_

"Naru_—_!" Sakura gasped.

"Stop, it's all a mis-_uwaaaaa—!_" Naruto screamed before exploding.

Sakura stopped, shocked, her fist hovering in empty air just as another Naruto screamed—

"Liste—_iyaaaaaaa_!"

—and exploded into smoke as well.

Sasuke didn't think he could take it—

"Hey, that's me and me!" Naruto exclaimed.

—when his breath froze and his heart stopped and those screams rang in his ears.

"Now are you ready to listen?" Kakashi asked, suddenly in front of them, and Sasuke almost crumpled in relief when he realized what happened. The asshole made _two_ kage bunshin that used henge before hiding himself._ Of course. _It's Kakashi's chakra_, _he would've known _if it wasn't, the colors would have been different, the flow would have changed—_

He closed his eyes briefly, striving for calm—Sasuke couldn't move yet, he was swaying from where he stood and his heart was pounding too much to send him into cardiac arrest—before opening them in the next heartbeat, still red and still glaring.

"Low blow, sensei," Sakura murmured, hurt.

Kakashi shrugged, hands in his pockets, but the minute stiffening of shoulders magnified by Sharingan showed he was uncomfortable. "We're ninja, Sakura. Any blow will do."

Sai, true to retarded form, giggled. "Blow."

Sasuke's glare transferred to Sai. An irritated Naruto hit the latter upside the head—"You can't defuse tension worth shit so _stop it!_"—and, somewhat mollified, he turned back in time to catch Kakashi wince. Sasuke smirked viciously. Experiencing the ghosts of pain already, probably.

"Naruto was blowing condoms—" Kakashi began.

Sai giggled once again. "Blowing."

Sakura stalked up to Sai with a right hook. Kakashi paused to watch Sai sail to the edge of the training ground before continuing, "As I was saying, Naruto was blowing condoms to amuse the boys—"

"I thought they were _balloons!_" Naruto cut in hotly, covering the sound of Sai hitting the ground perfectly well. "No wonder it took fucking _long_ to make a fox—and I was losing so much breath I thought I was gonna faint!"

"—and he accidentally sucked a condom in when he blew air out—"

"'Coz Mamoru told me _I've been blowing condoms!_" Naruto yelled, gesticulating with a wildness that would maim Kakashi if he choose to stand in front of the man at the moment. His face was red and puffy and despite how _pissed_ Sasuke was at what he was hearing and how _it was not the appropriate time_, he found this righteously indignant Naruto—

His heart thumped.

_Cute_.

He inwardly hit his head.

Damn it.

"Maa, Naruto—" Kakashi interrupted, voice placating.

"What the fuck you brought condoms for and _why didn't you tell me?!_"

"I _did _tell you," Kakashi reminded mildly. "Sakura was there. Weren't you?" he asked, turning to the angry woman.

_"Kakashi-sensei dragged him off for some quality male-bonding time."_

Whose face abruptly erupted red.

_"Though I wonder what condoms and lube have to do with it."_

"I didn't hear anything!" Sakura yelped in defense, before muttering again to ward off some remembered illicit thoughts.

"Don't drag Sakura-chan here," Naruto growled.

"I even had a banana." Kakashi sighed, "Which you snatched and ate quite happily at that."

Naruto blanched. Sasuke's eyes narrowed at the latest information, Kakashi's intent clarified in his mind. "So you actually meant—" Naruto choked out, horrified. "Condoms and bana—_oh fuck I ate the banana_—oh fuck oh fuck—the _banana_ you meant for—oh _fuck_—"

"That's how he choked on the condom," Kakashi pointed out cheerfully.

Sakura was roused from her litany by the sound of Naruto on his knees trying to vomit out his innards. "Baka, stop that!" she admonished, hitting him on the head and almost pushing his face to the ground. "Forcing yourself to throw up is bad, silly!"

"Sakura-chan," Naruto moaned, a tinge of green on his skin, "I ate Kakashi's banana…"

From the distance someone tittered. Sasuke was too agitated to throw a glare back.

"Maa, maa," Kakashi said, then threw what couldn't be anything else but a _fucking knowing wink_, "You can eat my banana anytime, Naruto."

Naruto jumped up with a garbled roar.

"Oh, these idiots," Sakura murmured as the two began exchanging punches. The color on her cheeks was finally receding as she shook her head with a fond smile. "It's like nothing changed at all…"

Sasuke stilled.

Sakura, ever sensitive, glanced up. "Sasuke-kun?"

He nudged his head slightly to the edge of the training ground to answer her unvoiced question. Not waiting for her response, he turned around, his eyes boring holes at the other ANBU who now held a scroll in his hands, reading. Feeling his stare, Sai looked up and their eyes met.

Sasuke appeared in front of him and crossed his arms over his chest.

"How."

Sai carefully rolled the scroll and tucked it on the pouch behind him. He smiled politely. "How what."

Sasuke felt his left eye begin to twitch.

"I was right, you _are_ an ignorant person," Sai mused in the silence. "You only know how to demand. No wonder you never learn anything—you still don't know how to ask."

"How," Sasuke asked, his fists clenching around patience, "did you know I was—remembering?"

"Ah." Sai blinked, his mouth easing into a straighter line. He leaned back, his arms loose on his side. There was a contemplative look in his eyes before he nodded to himself.

"Do you remember how we met?" Sai asked.

Sasuke grunted. He did. Yesterday. When—his eyes narrowed—the three of them stood on a dock he hadn't visited in years with Naruto on Sai's back.

"I felt fear for the first time because of you," Sai said. There was no shame in his statement, only a candor uniquely his that Sasuke couldn't even feel pride in this revelation. "Just by looking into your eyes, you drew out this emotion from my subconsciousness.

"You were—cold. Beyond the cold of silence," Sai continued, his voice much lower, as if he was speaking to himself, as if he wasn't speaking to Sasuke's view of his own past, "Each time we crossed paths, you were colder than before. You were colder because you were—" Sai glanced at him, "becoming emptier.

"But when Naruto-kun was there…" Sai looked up, thoughtful, "When he's across you, shouting, he—" his brows furrowed, seeking, before smoothing down as he found the words he felt would make sense, "—_fills_ you, gives a little of what you lost. You never respond to anyone else."

_"Naruto_—_it's too late."_

"Kakashi-sempai, Sakura—you simply watch and speak and wait for the right time to strike. You hear them when they speak and you wait a little more. But Naruto-kun—you hear and you—_respond._"

_"Nothing you can say now can change me!"_

"However… after you woke up the second time after he brought you back—you were no longer that cold of emptying. You were simply—" Sai met his eyes, "_empty_. A void where nothing was. You stopped emptying, you were no longer cold. You were—"

Sai cut himself off, a thought springing in his mind, "I told Dickless once that you're cold. He was vehement in his denial." He suddenly chuckled. "He sounded like a lovestruck girl, demanding I not speak of you like so—_"You don't know him like **I** do!" _were his exact words. That you're_ "one of the warmest" _he had ever known. I thought he was pertaining to your affinity, or your clan's jutsu. Or your body, perhaps." Another chuckle. "Naruto-kun is like a furnace, and he may have gotten as physically close to you as I have had with him._"_

His chuckles dying down, Sai turned to meet his eyes once more. "You were _nothing._ _Ten years_, Uchiha, and you were **_nothing_**."

Sasuke felt his eyes widen.

"You weren't empty—suddenly you were _nothing_, never filled at all."

Sai's eyes still held his, calmly dissecting the years where Sasuke, in the silence of his inner self, _wanted _and _needed_ and _yearned_—

"You became who I was after my brother died. Who I was before Naruto-kun became a part of my life."

That feeling of _void, _of_ loss,_ of absolute_ cold_—

"You became who I was when I forgot."

Those words solemnly spoken registered like a blow. Sasuke was unaware of stepping back a shaky inch, a subconscious act of desperation to stay balanced against an earthquake shaking the world in itself—as if he could retreat to a world that remained steady, constant, a world that belonged to a past too old to remember but too precious to let go—

His breath froze as he looked up.

"But last night, Uchiha—"

A world of _skies_—

"—I finally understood Dickless."

Sasuke took a deep breath, his heartbeat a little faster for a different reason. "You followed us."

"Aa," Sai answered simply, amusement touching his eyes. Sasuke was too stunned over his own failing to be furious at the actual fact of Sai's stalking, which rapidly corrected into proper outrage when Sai continued with a smug grin. "You're not the only ANBU of Konoha, Homo, and for all your strengths you are not the stealthiest. I was Root before I was Leaf, I know how to bury myself when necessary.

"Long before Naruto-kun left, I had become his shadow," Sai continued, and Sasuke tried to ignore how irate that disclosure left him, "Where he went, I followed. Where he sat, I stood. Where he watched, I listened. And now, where he is," Sai shot him a meaningful look, "I _wait_."

Sasuke's eyes were a storm of raging black currents as liquid fire surged inside him. "He is under _my_ protection, _my_ care, my _life_ will be laid for _his_. Where he goes, _I will follow_. Where he sits, _I will stand_. Where he watches, _I will listen_. _I will wait wherever he is. _If he is tired, if he takes too long, if he is _hiding _from me, **_I_**_ will find him and **I** will bring him **home**,_" he ended in a hiss.

_"Give him to me."_

Sai blinked at his venomous proclamation.

_"**I** will bring him home."_

And then, slowly, the pale mouth hitched up on a corner.

"You are no longer cold."

The simple statement was ice water on his skin.

"_That_ is how I know." Sai looked across the ground to where Naruto still fought. "Only four days. Ten years without Dickless against four days with him, and the warmth he insisted is there is already a blazing fire. It's the same when he helped me remember what I forgot. I remain cold, it is my nature, but there is warmth beneath my chest where he said there always is."

The words, spoken in a voice short of emotion but brimming with so much, hung in the air between them like light from the sun.

"What did you forget?" Sasuke asked, quietly, because sometimes he needed to ask.

And Sai smiled, a smile like he had never seen on that face before.

"My brother," Sai replied, "and the bond we used to have."

* * *

"Good to have you back," Kakashi greeted with a cheerful wave, not even bothering to look up from his book.

"You suck!" Naruto yelled, trying to squirm within the rope grafting his body to the center post. "You suck balls so fucking much!"

"Now _that_ is a very unfounded accusation," Kakashi started, closing his book empathically, "I _may_ have been curious in my younger days but I have never, _ever_ sucked balls as _much_ as you so rud—"

"Shut up shut up _shut up!_"

Sakura joined the screaming. "Sensei, hentai!"

"You too, Sakura?" Kakashi asked with a wounded look. Sakura shook her fist at him with a frustrated sound of crushing and maiming.

"Lemme go!"

Kakashi wasn't taking chances—whatever he last did clearly had Naruto wanting blood. But then again, Sasuke thought, even the first time he was tied up, Naruto couldn't move at all.

"You didn't get a bell—"

Naruto was positively shrieking. "There's no fucking bell!" His pitch rose higher, approaching the decibel to shatter glass. "_And I'm still hungry!_"

Sasuke had forgotten how shrill and annoying his voice could be. His left eye was already twitching and somewhere, in his head, began a pained pulsing. "Stop screaming, moron, you're giving me a headache."

There was a second when time seemed to suspend itself. All eyes were turned to him, and the one who couldn't see had frozen with his mouth hanging open. Then the next second came and—

"Asshole! You're not the boss of me!"

Sasuke's reply was automatic. "Hn. I'm not the one tied up like a failing Academy student."

"You arrogant jerk! The rope's just really tight! I can hardly breathe, you ass!—"

"Losers never run out of excuses."

"Why yo—_Come here and I'll_—"

"Scream in my ear? No, thank you. I value my hearing, it warns me against shrieking dumbasses."

"—I do not _shriek!_"

An eyebrow rose as Sasuke's mouth lifted in a lazy smirk. "Of course you don't. _Dumbass._"

"I'm going to gnaw on your _face_ when I get out of here—"

"You meant _if_, dobe. _If._"

"_Ha. Ha_. Very _funny_," Naruto scowled. "Yarou."

Another second of time suspended. Sasuke realized in the silence that Kakashi had left as well.

"Anou, Sakura-chan?" Naruto called out, hesitant, as if he just remembered where they were, that they had an audience all along and one of them had left. For some reason, Sasuke felt ridiculously pleased. "Where's Kakashi-sensei?"

Sakura smiled as tears after another began trickling down her cheeks. Sasuke frowned. She had been crying more in three days than the past years combined. "Hokage-sama sent for him," she answered, voice even and cheery and a lie against her eyes. "He'd meet us later. You'll come, ne?"

Sasuke's eyebrows were high with silent questions. Sakura simply shook her head, a finger over her brittle smile.

_What's going on?_

"Is something going on?" Naruto asked worriedly. "You feel wrong—"

She laughed. "When did you become so paranoid? Baka."

"But you do!" Naruto objected, "And Baa-chan wasn't there when I looked for her befo—"

"Are you saying I'm lying?" she asked sweetly.

The sugary sound of cracking fists coming nearer and nearer had Naruto shaking his head furiously, babbling, "'Course not! Sakura-chan is not a liar, she's the idol of truth and honesty and the slayer of all lies—"

"Naruto-baka," she murmured, and leaned down to kiss the top of Naruto's head.

Sasuke turned away. He was feeling that thing in his chest again—

_Sakura loves him._

That twisting, burning, nauseating little thing flooding in his heart.

_"Would you really betray Konoha for me?"_

She had always been there.

_"Then—you'll have to prove it."_

Even when her eyes had refused to look at him, even when they _had_ and accused and loathed, even when her forgiveness had seemed beyond grasp—

_"If you kill her_—_"_

Sakura had always been there.

_"—I'll let you come with me."_

It was only now he understood why she hated him at all.

_Sakura loves him so much._

He was overflowing and he hurt.

_And Naruto—_

His fists clenched and he hurt more.

_"I just kissed you and you let me! Like the last time!"_

That—idiot—

_"Does that mean you'd go out with me now?"_

Fucking _idiot_—

"Is that your boobs on my face? They're real soft!—"

The ill-thought outburst sliced the atmosphere like a knife.

"I m-m-mean—" Naruto stuttered, his face the white of a ghost beneath two imposing shadows.

"Naru_toooo_—"

"Sa-Sa-Sakura-c-c-chan?"

"**_BAKA!_**"

Sasuke told himself he'd never even _think_ to rouse Sakura's temper. Or perhaps strike out _boobs_ from his vocabulary—not that he used the crass term anyway.

"Anything else?" Sakura asked, blowing at her smoking fist with a serene expression.

Naruto was twitching. "Can you lemme go now?" he burbled.

Sakura grinned. "Nope. Ino's waiting."

Naruto tried to straighten up, and cursed when he inadvertently hit the back of his head on the post. "But I'm still hungry!"

"Kakashi-sensei left a bento." Naruto visibly perked up and she chuckled at the quick turnaround. "So you eat that and let's meet later, ne?"

Naruto sputtered. His struggle became more desperate. "B-But how do I—"

"I'm sure Sasuke-kun would help. Ne, Sasuke-kun?" Sakura asked with a small smile.

Sasuke shrugged. He supposed he should be more grateful, so he nodded his gratitude to the favor.

He supposed he needed to thank Kakashi too. Reluctantly.

She shook her head, smiling at his response. "Ja ne, Sasuke-kun, Naruto."

"Sakura-chan!"

Sakura's answer was a Shunshin, leaves fluttering in her wake as she left the two behind. Naruto sighed, sensing his salvation was no more. Sasuke's gaze settled on his bound form for one quiet moment before turning to walk away.

"O-Oi!" Naruto called out anxiously. Sasuke stilled. "Anou sa, can you let me go? I'm really—" his stomach grumbled loudly and he slumped forward with a pained grimace, "Didn't get a chance to ramen, stupid Ino," he muttered.

Sasuke snorted and continued.

"Teme, come back! You can't leave me, you fucker!" Naruto hollered, face reddening in anger, earlier apprehension gone on the heels of indignance. "Don't you walk away from me, bas—_huh?_"

Sasuke settled beside him, ignoring Naruto's surprise. He unwrapped the last bento Kakashi left beneath a tree and secured the last pair of chopsticks in his hand.

"… Bastard?"

"You're hungry." The chopsticks trembled in his hand and he swiftly righted his grip. A grain of rice dropped. "Aren't you?"

His grip grew tighter when Naruto didn't reply. Amidst the tightening in his chest, Sasuke clenched his jaw and demanded, coldly "Well?"

As if wakening from a trance, Naruto slowly opened his mouth.

Sasuke shoved the rice inside.

"_Ack!_ Wai—_gah_!"

He pretended not to see how much his hand shook.


	30. Chapter 26

_October 31, 2012_

* * *

**The Sky  
**

_by Hic Iacet Mori_

* * *

**Chapter 26**

They shared the last bento in silence. Sasuke would feed Naruto first then pick a morsel for himself, and this went on back and forth until not even a grain remained. They shared the last water as well, Sasuke sipping from the bottle while Naruto let his own tongue out to catch the cool liquid he poured out.

No words were shared between them, there wasn't a need for one at all. Long-buried memories aided Sasuke without his knowledge—he had subconsciously noted Naruto's eating habits in a past long ago. He knew when to offer a bite and he knew when to offer a drink. He also knew when not to—when Naruto simply enjoyed the act of savoring the flavors heightened by a lack of sight, when Naruto simply enjoyed the silence of the afternoon.

No laughter was heard, no tears were seen. There was nothing but the sun and the sky and the chopsticks in his hand, and the friend tied by his side sharing a last meal with him. There was wind on his body, fire on his skin— and the tranquility of a world of glowing amber leaves.

In that moment Sasuke felt nothing could get better than this.

His breathing deepened without his notice, and his body leant almost boneless on the post. He was relaxed—utterly, completely—and he was calm.

It was peace.

As a hum of contentment sounded in his ear, Sasuke didn't think that they just shared a pair of chopsticks. Sasuke didn't think there's none he'd rather share it with.

As his lids grew heavier and his eyes drifted close, Sasuke didn't think he'd maybe want to do it again.

"It's just you," Naruto suddenly said. Sasuke felt the words vibrate through the air, rumble through his body. When had he gotten so close to him? "A lot of years out there and… it's just you. No one else ever fed me like that. Just—" a note of wonder—and delight? "you."

Sasuke quietly, gently, in a voice that didn't quite belong to him—"Thank you. For the tomatoes."

The surprise was palpable, a loud whisper in the silence. He felt Naruto shift beside him, and for all the nearness he physically felt came a distance in his ears.

"Thanks for keeping them alive."

For all the words Naruto uttered there were more secrets hidden within.

"How did you do it?" Sasuke asked—all of curious at the answer, all of alarmed beneath the question. He was feeling it, again, like that time in his kitchen when Naruto stood across him just beyond his grasp, where he couldn't move from where he stood and Naruto couldn't see where he himself had hidden his eyes. Like that time in the village when Naruto grabbed his hand and he pulled out of the grasp, where he moved as a creature of blind instinct and dragged Naruto somewhere, anywhere, _home_ before Naruto got away, before Naruto disappeared.

_"Don't leave."_

Before Naruto was lost to him forever.

_"Don't leave—!"_

"Just did it," Naruto answered, the smile in his voice slashing through the haze of panic. Against vestiges of wild fear that sealed his lids shut, Sasuke held on to that vision of Naruto's smile tightly, desperately—

"Bought seeds from Ino, some from the market, brought my tools there and just… did it. It settles me." When Naruto chuckled, Sasuke felt his spirits lift up. "Wasn't exactly legal, I know—until I won the rights to the property when Baa-chan dropped by our picnic and joined the game."

His voice was growing lighter, and Sasuke just knew his smile had just become brighter. He wanted to see it—and suddenly, his eyes opened and he could. "Didn't tell us her prize, just said she's the last thief. And I—"

And his grin was blinding but Sasuke couldn't look away. "I _owned_ her. I'm the last one standing, everyone else's given up, it's just me and her and I got her fair and square. Then she gave me this folder—documents—said some gibberish—and looked drunk. Told me to put it to good use while I looked through it.

"Then I told her it was the best birthday gift ev…" Naruto's voice trickled off as an incredulous look slowly dawned upon his face.

Everything else faded for Sasuke right then—the stunned look on Naruto's face, the loosening in his chest… Sasuke thought that the fondness washing over him was too ridiculous to be real.

"I'm a moron."

Sasuke was unrepentantly deadpan as somewhere inside him he clamped down a smile. "Knowing is winning half the battle."

Naruto threw his head back and laughed.

Sasuke sat and listened and felt his chest expand just a little more, as if he could breathe in those sounds, breathe in that joy—and perhaps, he could, because it could only be these things transported by his blood from his lungs that was making his mouth twitch in a smile of pure affection.

It took a while before the laughter died down.

Sasuke didn't think he'd maybe want to hear it more.

"All this time—" Naruto hiccupped, and _giggled_, and Sasuke thought it just damned _criminal_ how a grown man could be damned—fucking—_adorable_, "—you're actually—" and _giggled_ again, words breathlessly spoken, "—letting me _win?_"

Sasuke turned away and took a deep breath. His heart felt too big for his rib cage right now and he just felt it would _burst_—

"Of all days too, heh."

The remark caught his attention. He turned back and Naruto's head lifted up, whiskered face flushed from laughter with a lopsided smile on his face. "Of all the days," he repeated, much more softly.

_"Don't leave!"_

"I made a promise last night," Naruto said, startling Sasuke from his daze. He raised an eyebrow when the rope loosened and fell to the ground. "Kakashi-sensei makes a mean knot, takes me awhile. So." Naruto stretched his arms above his head before crossing them over his chest. "I'm yours."

He scowled when his heart raced.

"Oi?"

Sasuke breathed deeply and closed his eyes. It was time.

"I returned to Konoha ten years ago after realizing I didn't want to kill myself," he started. His voice had settled into his usual cool monotone, bringing his cold, analytical mind into forefront as he narrated with a detachment that proposed the most benefits, damaged him the least. "The remaining shinobi within the village found me by the gates and brought me to the hospital, where I spent four months—" he faltered, and steeled himself with another deep breath and continued, "—in a coma before waking up. I spent the next two months in physical therapy and interrogation, and along the way explained that I joined the Akatsuki to bring it down because it was a threat the village. I also told the Hokage the truth about my clan and the involvement of the council in the massacre.

"The Intelligence Division verified my accounts and Yamanaka Inoichi testified on my behalf. The verdict was handed down and I was acquitted—my punishment was simply for going rogue, a crime always marked for death, but the Hokage was lenient after those revelations. Even then, my punishment was commuted to two years. I had proven myself, Godaime-sama said, and I was simply too—grateful for the chance to question it. I took the chuunin exam after, then the jounin exam, and then I was invited to join ANBU. I joined to fulfill my vow to protect the Hokage as long as I live.

A sigh escaped before he could stop it. "Ten years—"

He was suddenly tired, so tired, and Sasuke opened his eyes to Naruto listening with a stillness that didn't look alive. He felt a chill prickling at the edge of his consciousness, the echoes of fear pulling at his skin. "Ten years passed without my notice," he said in a voice suddenly urgent, words stumbling and insisting, _begging for understanding, begging for him to **listen**_— "Ten years of my life—and I couldn't find meaning in them. Living this day only to get to the next, just existing with this—_void_—only alive when I—when I—"

He cut himself off with a harsh shake of his head. He swallowed, an unexpected lump forming in his throat. Why was it so _hard why am I_— "Then you came and—"

He turned away, unable to look anymore as he struggled to even his breathing, calm his heart, the heat on his skin—_boiling_—too much right then for him, "Do you even—_understand_—"

Sasuke clenched his fists, angry at how his control had forsaken him, how his tongue was loose with words refusing to be swallowed and his mouth wanted to open wide and _vomit _out something, _anything_—

"Just, how—"

How his emotions betrayed him—

"Ten years of—of _nothing _then—"

How he couldn't _speak_ past the desperate ache in his chest, his mouth, his _eyes—_

"—four days of _you _and—"

How it is now he just realized that Naruto meant so much more than Sasuke could ever hope for—

"Naruto."

The name came out in a shattered breath, jagged edges of glass that reflected and pierced. "Tell me. Just, why. Why—" His hair failed to hide the pain in his eyes that he finally allowed to bleed all over his voice, "—did you seal—my memori—"

Naruto shifted, swallowed. "Bastard, I—"

Something in Sasuke _snapped_. "Why _you?_ Why did you make me forget about you? Was it a deal with council? The Hokage? A life for a life, my life for the life I had with you? Is that it?"

"N-No—"

Sasuke was too far gone to notice that his voice was rising, that he was _trembling_ with rising fury, that he was rising as well at the weak denial Naruto sputtered out, "No, it must've been for your beloved _Konoha_," he spat out. "I would have never returned on my own, _wouldn't I?_ This fucking village that took my brother's_ life_—"

He reveled at the sharp flinch, a dark chuckle escaping his lips, "And how did you do that, na? Fool me enough to make _me _believe I was playing along? Because I remember _I wasn't_," he hissed out. "I want to crush Konoha _forever_, turn your laughter to screams because _Itachi is dead_ so you can stand there _laughing!_ _You know nothing, **Uzumaki**_, _nothing of my pain!_ I will _destroy_ your precious _Konoha_ and you will _watch it with your own ey—!_"

Sasuke's head snapped sharply to the side.

A beat and he tasted blood.

Another and he felt pain blossom in his jaw.

_Wha—_

Still another and he gasped for breath being crushed out of his lungs.

Tongue stinging, jaw throbbing, eyes dazed and unfocused, Sasuke gasped again when the hold around him tightened.

"What—"

"Sorry," a thick voice whispered. Hot breath brushed against his ear—made him _shiver_, raised the fine hairs on the shell turning pink—scorching where hands pressed against his back, fingers splayed out and _freezing_ through his clothing—before Sasuke finally realized he was in Naruto's arms, in a _hug_, and he couldn't tell who was _shaking_ and he didn't _understand_—

Suddenly it was over too soon.

"You're lonely, aren't you?" Naruto asked, still in that thick voice, still in that whisper that brushed all the way inside, lit a fire within him against the ice of realization that crashed on his skin. Naruto unwound his arms, took a step back, and Sasuke felt an acute sting of loss. "You're lonely and I left you alone."

He prepared to deny it, tell it wasn't true—

"I'm sorry…"

Sasuke couldn't.

"But Sasuke," his name, uttered softly, feather-light, sank heavily into his stomach, weighed painfully on his chest—"do you still feel the same? About Konoha? Is your hatred—"

"No," he answered roughly, honestly, surprising himself at how bluntly he answered despite the dark certainty of those memories, "even if I—_remember_ how it feels. That hatred, it's too powerful to be an illusion—I owe it to those meddling idiots, it made me realize some things—and," he looked away, his fists unclenching, "ten years is enough time—to understand why Nii-san chose the path he did. Konoha is far from perfect but—it is the closest to a home I have—"

"I'm glad."

Sasuke swiftly looked back. The smile on Naruto's face was—

Brilliant.

"You wanted to die," Naruto said. His voice was cracking but his smile was blinding with the brilliance of the sun in its swan song against the sky. "It's the only thing I can think of and—Thank you," his breath hitched, "for being alive."

Sasuke's eyes widened.

"This is the best gift I can ever have."

It was back, that _feeling_—

"What's going on?"

"Despite everything I've tried, I'm glad you remember me. Even if you don't remember everything at all." Naruto abruptly laughed. Sasuke shook his head, cold prickling on his skin, his mind assaulted with clamors to make him stop laughing, stop smiling, _tell me what's going on damn you_— "I don't want you to remember _that _day, anyway. But I don't regret it. I don't regret a fucking thing. You're alive, you bastard! You're alive and it's enough, more than enough—!"

"Naruto!"

"So live. Live, damn you! Look to the future, stop looking to the past, na? And asshole—"

Naruto's smile gentled. Sasuke was stunned, everything in him falling into silence as tears dripped down the pale whiskered cheeks.

"—stop looking for me."

The Sharingan flared when Naruto vanished in a blur.

Fucking _idiot! _How dare that _moron—!_

He was up and running before his mind had demanded him to.

They're not done, not by a long shot, and Sasuke would find the dumbass and beat a fuckload of sense into his thick skull. Stop looking for _him?_ _What the fuck did that mean?_ What about his promises? The answers to his questions, being alone with him together? Why did he laugh why did he cry why did he want Sasuke to stop looking _where are you where did you go how can I find you when you won't let me_—

_"And Baa-chan wasn't there when I looked for her before—"_

He looked up abruptly.

_"I thought you're gonna be with Kankurou and Gaara!"_

Ahead lay the Academy with the kanji of _Fire._

_"And asshole_—_stop looking for me."_

A grim smile settled on his face—

_Found you, dobe._

—before an explosion reverberated through the air.

* * *

He didn't understand what was happening.

Uchiha Sasuke was the pride of ANBU, the dark wolf that could run both in a pack and alone. He held a perfect record of completed missions and a perfect record of subordinates kept alive under his protection. His teeth were sharp, his claws sharper, his eyes sharpest that tracked the shadows of his enemies, went straight for the pulsing jugular of his unfortunate, unsuspecting prey.

Right now these eyes tracked movements, passed information to the quick mind that made Ookami a feared predator:

Hatake Kakashi, Haruno Sakura, Sai—all hardly breathing, indifferent but for their clenched fists, empty but for the emotions naked in their eyes—

Umino Iruka, Sarutobi Konohamaru—a little ways behind the three, the latter stopped by an arm around his waist, the former resolute, resigned—

The Hokage, Tsunade—thoughtful, waiting, half-way up her chair with her palms on her table, her patience marked by the fissure she touched with a gentleness of her force—

The Kazekage, Sabaku no Gaara—imposing with his presence, arms over his chest with giant hands of sand behind him stretching, reaching out—

"Gaara!"

His eyes tracked these movements, passed these information to his mind—still he didn't understand but this Sasuke knew—

_"Sabaku Ky__ū__!"_

Gaara was attacking Naruto and _no one was doing a damn thing._

Sasuke's left hand came alive, electricity riding on his skin without any conscious will. His hand glowed a white-blue, _spiked_ when a column of sand crashed on a wall where Naruto stood before.

"Listen, Gaara! Stop!" Naruto yelled, panting as he evaded, flinched when grains of sand grazed his cheek and drew blood.

The chirping of a thousand birds turned into shrieks.

"Do not interfere, Uchiha Sasuke," Gaara intoned.

_"Chidori!"_

A wall of sand coming behind Naruto immediately fell away—then dispersed and wrapped around Naruto's ankles rapidly.

"Fuck!"

Sand climbed on Sasuke's ankles as well, wrapping tightly around to render him immobile. He glared hatefully at the man—"What are you standing there for?!" he roared at the others—freed himself with a burst of lightning—_"Chidori Nagashi!"_—and shoved past the reforming sand, lightning weaving through each grain to reach the unmoving Gaara.

The Kazekage wasn't looking, but his well-known _Suna no Tate_ immediately reacted. Undaunted, his Sharingan activated—_"Chidori Senbon!"_—and aimed for breaches in the wall of sand where the grains weren't as compact.

It was futile, however. Even his Amaterasu failed in the past, and he muttered a curse under his breath as his left hand began to glow once more.

Gaara smirked.

The unnatural expression caught his attention. His eyes slowly widened and he immediately followed the man's gaze.

"Gaara, please," Naruto pleaded weakly, coughed against the sand holding his throat by the wall, "Hear me out—"

The arm of sand rose, raising Naruto with it. Teal eyes followed, measuring. "Where is he."

"My life depends on it! _Gaara!_"

Gaara repeated his query, and Naruto yelped as sand squeezed tighter. "Where. Is. He."

"Let him go!" Sasuke snarled, all three tomoe of his Sharingan beginning to merge.

It was then that Gaara turned to him, an eerie cast in his eyes. "Do you know who this is?"

"He's the idiot _Naruto!_" Sasuke hissed. "I remember who he is _now_ _let him go!_"

Suddenly, Gaara chuckled. It was a sound that Sasuke never wished to hear again.

"Naruto?"

Naruto renewed his efforts. "Shut up shut up _shut up Gaara!—_"

"This is not Naruto, Uchiha."

Sasuke's heart slammed against his chest. "What the fuck do you me—"

The sand shook the blond man in black, a frail toy in the grasp of a delighted little child.

"Tell me where—"

Tendrils of sand traced the symbol on metal.

"—Uzumaki Naruto is—"

Stopped.

"—_bunshin_."


	31. Chapter 27

**A/N: **I'm sorry, this isn't the last chapter - it IS the first part, though. I'm still quite ill but rest assured, this ends before the year does. :)

_November 30, 2012_

* * *

**The Sky  
**

_by Hic Iacet Mori_

* * *

**Chapter 27**

Silence rang in the void Gaara's words had left behind.

"He is a bunshin," Gaara repeated, dispassionate, the force of his conviction a maelstrom in his eyes. "A bunshin Naruto creates to li—"

Loud raucous laughter suddenly erupted in the room.

"Man, Gaara!" Naruto exclaimed, looking far amused for someone trapped in chakra-infused sand. "A _bunshin_?! Seriously, _bunshin_ is all you got?! I taught you more jokes than that!"

Interrupted, Gaara simply stared.

"Anou sa, anou sa, he's such a kidder, na?" Naruto asked cheerfully, the warmth exuded by his smile inviting everyone to join his mirth. "Not bad for a Kazekage but _terrible _for a Hokage, hah! Seems I should spend more time with you again—you're much too serious—but I guess a poker face is still the best joking face, na, Gaa—"

"I'm not joking," Gaara intoned.

Naruto responded with more boisterous laughter. "See, see?!" he pointed out, voice high and reedy at the air stolen by his laugh. "A persistent one, right here!" Another round of laughter. "Dude, you should be screaming _gotcha_ already, they're probably believing you no—"

"Shut_ up!_" Sasuke yelled.

Naruto flinched. "S-Sasu—?!"

He looked up, blood and rage in his eyes offset by a voice now lower, quieter, near inaudible as his mind spun at what he just heard—

"What's going on."

Naruto grinned, _strained_ at the effort when the sand constricted further, "_The hell?!_ The Great Uchiha, falling for_ that? _Of course _nothing!_ I can't be a _bunshin_, we've been together practically the whole time! L-Look at me, would a bunshin bleed? And-And if I _were_, which _I'm not_, I'd have disappeared already—and you should totally let me go now, Gaara, I'm getting kinda queasy wi—_K'so!_"

The sand abruptly dropped him as a chair hurtled to the wall.

Tsunade stood to her full height, brown eyes gleaming the gold of a wakened tigress. "That's enough," she commanded. "Let them go, Shikamaru."

"Hai."

Surpised, Sasuke turned to the source of the voice. As one, the three shinobi frozen in the Hokage's office jerked forward, shadows of equal number slithering back to their source. Behind the broken table Nara Shikamaru stood up, shoulders slouched more than usual, and swiftly performed a Shunshin in time to avoid Sakura's fury-enhanced punch.

"Sakura!" Tsunade barked sharply.

Sakura turned to her, eyes misting with betrayal. "Shishou, how could yo—!"

"Sakura," Kakashi cut in, the voice of calm between the volatile women, "Hokage-sama has her reasons and—" he subtly tilted his head, gray eye chancing a meaningful glance, "—I'm sure you have an idea. You're a very smart girl, don't let your heart cloud your mind."

"Sensei…"

"Itai…" Naruto moaned as he slowly stood up, rubbing behind him in pain from the impact of his sudden fall. "What's up with that, Baa-chan? A little warning woulda been nice…"

"You—" Tsunade growled.

"It wasn't me!" Naruto immediately shouted, jabbering a finger at the Kazekage with child-like insistence. "Blame him! His joke _sucks!_"

Tsunade took a fortifying breath, her manicured fists balling. "Stop making excuses, it's out in the open," she ordered, calmly, before swinging her left fist to her side, cement crunching, cracks spidering on the wall. "Now _tell me where the brat is and why you're here!_"

Naruto gaped. "B-Baa-chan, you too?!"

"You've improved in acting, I see," Tsunade commented. She cracked her fists together, ligaments sounding a sickening pop. "Well then. Kazekage-dono had already done his part—perhaps it is the turn of the Hokage. Ne, bunshin?"

Face turning ashen, Naruto swiftly made for the window. Sand immediately flew up and walled the exit points.

"You're serious," he breathed out, slowly turning around, "You're all fucking serious—"

"Heads up!"

Naruto flipped backward, narrowly avoiding a right cross. "Gaara, come on!" he panted as he dodged a set of jabs, cursed as a roundhouse kick almost clipped him on the chin. The Godaime had always been a warrior, the strongest kunoichi in the history of shinobi—

"Well?"

—and she never held back.

"Shit."

Trapped by a finger on his hitai'ate, Naruto's breath hitched—and expelled in a gust when he was sent crashing to a wall.

"Dammit…" he groaned, struggling to stand up. His hitai'ate was askew and he reached up to fix it, only to curse and slide down when Tsunade attempted to punch the wall with his body.

A deep voice cut under the din. "Is it true?"

Chest heaving, Naruto's head shot up, specks of blood flying at the movement. "Yarou! Of course it's no—!"

"Don't _lie!_" Sasuke hissed. His chest was tightening, the ache intensifying with the familiarity of Naruto—his words, his expressions, his declarations of innocence—but his Sharingan couldn't lie, couldn't deny what it sees.

"Usuratonkachi!"

Couldn't deny the subconscious evidences of deceit.

Naruto immediately stilled, shoulders dropping. Tsunade stopped in the same beat, her fist a mere inch over his nose. "I told you to stop looking for me," he muttered. "I told you but you never listen _ever_. Na, Sasuke-teme."

He felt his heart clenching the way his throat did. It was hard, fucking_ hard _but Sasuke swallowed a gasp of pain, dug his nails into his palms to distract from the ache inside. Fury stung behind his eyes and he wanted to roar. Scream. Lose himself in a rage, yell himself hoarse—but he couldn't even speak. Couldn't even open his mouth.

_All along…_

He just knew what would come out and he might not stop for a long time.

_You weren't with me all along…_

"It was the gang, wasn't it," Naruto stated—no, not _Naruto_, _this wasn't his Naruto at all_—"Ino and the others. I knew something... was going on."

He inwardly shook his head, sought the steel in his core. He would listen. Sasuke would listen because he needed to know just what the fuck was going on and then—and then—

He'd beat the fucking _shit_ out of Naruto.

Tsunade dropped her fist and straightened, and returned to her desk to pick up an open scroll that hardly covered the fissure on the wood. "Team Ino submitted their report earlier," she said, responding to the statement that couldn't be anything else but an accusation. "The mission is simple on paper—use any means necessary to prove beyond doubt that you _are_ Uzumaki Naruto and, if not, ascertain who you are and who sent you to pretend as him." She glanced at Sasuke with a humorless smile. "It became complicated soon enough."

Dark eyes widened beneath the fringes of his hair.

"Sasuke's response to his presence proved that he is, well, _Naruto_," Iruka finally spoke up, continuing where the Hokage left off. He threw Sasuke a lukewarm nod. "To have the person who doesn't remember you suddenly act a little like how he did before—only _Naruto_ could mess that up."

"I amended the mission after the meeting regarding Pain." Tsunade turned to the silent blond. "Your second day. When you tried to give back the fragments of my grandfather's necklace and told me Pain would leave Konoha alone if you swear allegiance to Ame."

She laughed coldly, swiftly materialized before the silenced man and grabbed him by the collar of his torn robe. "What kind of an idiot do you take me for?" she snarled. "You dare make a mockery of a Sannin, the Godaime Hokage herself? Did you for one second assume I would not suspect a thing?!"

Before the other could form any response, Tsunade released him with a huff of disgust. "I admit you fooled us for a while. The Byakugan proved useless, even the nose of an Inuzuka failed. It took a while for Shino to arrive but even the agitated kikkai couldn't discern what is wrong. Lee's physical check yielded nothing as well, your body's stance and mannerism is indistinct from the real Naruto."

Her lips curved. "At the end of the day, Shikamaru knew that if all of these failed, one ninja would surely come through—Akimich Ino, the team leader."

_"Ever heard of the word **diversion**, Forehead?"_

"That was the plan all along, wasn't it," he murmured. "Everything else was a setup. Na? The dinners, the invitations, the game—"

"Don't think for a moment that they did it because they have to," Iruka interrupted fiercely. "They did it because they want to, because they are Naruto's friends—"

"But I _am_ Naruto!" he insisted. "_Yes_, I'm a _bunshin_ but I'm still _Naruto!_"

The admission left everyone in silence.

"Fuck it, guys, it's still _me_—"

"Hearing it, straight from your mouth," Sakura started shakily, "It's really true, isn't it."

He stepped to her direction, arm reaching forward. "Sakura-chan—"

"No!" she said forcefully, stepping away from his outstretched hand. "I knew something's wrong, I knew it, _I knew it!_ I didn't want to believe it when Ino-buta began crying but it made sense—she's been asking questions, what you're doing, what you're up to, then suddenly you're playing the game and—and she probably discovered _something_ with _Shinransen_—" her breath hitched, voice almost choking on her next words, "You even made Hinata cry, who loved you for a long time—who almost _died_ for you years ago, you ungrateful _asshole_—! Even Tenten-san, who protected you from Neji-san, and treated you like a younger brother—!"

The hand dropped sadly on his side. "I know."

Sakura's own hand clenched. She lunged forward and he bowed his head in acceptance.

Before he could even think about it Sasuke was between them, his body moving on its own and catching the raging fist. The amount of force surprised him and pushed him back an inch, his back shoving Naruto's clone further behind him. He gritted his teeth at the contact—_still the same, dammit, why does it feel the same_—and jerked himself forward, abruptly severing the connection.

_Why do I keep moving—?!_

Kakashi appeared behind her and, head down, Sakura turned around and clung to him, seeking comfort she had come to rely on for years. Sai came to stand beside her, raised his hand to rub her back rigid from the tension of holding herself together.

"I had my suspicions as well and reported to Hokage-sama," Kakashi joined in. His left hand rose up, patted awkwardly at the pink hair. "Tested them yesterday, confirmed 100% this afternoon. You haven't even used a single kage bunshin earlier, na—" his eye curved, "—Naruto."

Sasuke felt the head lift behind him and immediately stepped to the side, angry at himself for knowing—

"Kakashi-sensei…"

—and wanting to see that tremulous smile—

"And you failed the condom test," Kakashi added.

Which turned into indignant yelling. "_Kakashi-no-hentai!_ How does a _condom_ tes—"

Iruka growled at what he just heard, throwing a fearsome glare. "Kakashi-san…! _Condom test?!_"

"You are weakening, aren't you," Sai remarked. It was suddenly quiet, and the only response to his observation was a stiffening of robed shoulders. Sai dropped his hand to his side, eyes vivid blots of ink against a paper-white face. "You may be a perfect copy, Dickless, but there is no warmth in you beyond the Will of Fire—and even that has declined. That is what you are—a cool reflection."

"Were you in the mission too?" came the soft query.

"No," Sai answered. "I simply realized what they're up to."

"You've been wondering why I assigned the mission in the first place, ne, Naruto-bunshin," Tsunade commented, and ignored the way the addressed man started in annoyance, "It was Sai who gave me the idea. He had sensed something—perplexing in their headquarters. He observed you on the first day and then came to me with his concern."

She chuckled. "Your chosen shadow is exceptional. Sai had been following you whenever you're alone—and not once did you notice. No wonder you alarmed him… even the real Naruto can't be that oblivious. Or weak, perhaps?

"I immediately assembled a team of your peers except those from Team Seven." Honey-brown eyes flickered to Sakura and Sai, then turned to look Sasuke in the eyes. "The eyes cannot see the nose because it is too near, wouldn't you agree? You helped, regardless. You confirmed he could be no one else but Naruto—but is he _our_ Naruto? Is he being controlled in any way?"

Her eyes transferred to the last man in the room who had yet to speak at all. "Of all theories discussed and tests plotted to prove he isn't, it was Konohamaru who presented the possibility of a bunshin." She smiled, albeit sadly. "The faith of a student on his master's abilities—if anyone could make a bunshin that would exceed expectations, it's Naruto. Ne, Konohamaru," she commented, not unkindly.

"Oniichan-no-baka," Konohamaru finally spoke up, stepping forward, eyes shining with bright tears as he looked across to his idol. Sasuke felt his chest tighten at the plaintive call. Sarutobi Konohamaru—he had always followed Naruto in the past, Sasuke remembered, adoration and respect apparent in his young face. The memory of the loud nosy brat, and now the sight of this grown brat with brown eyes repressing tears reminded Sasuke of his younger self, always running after Itachi-niisan.

"Konohamaru…"

Just as he would always love his brother, Konohamaru would always love his Naruto-oniichan.

"Why are you here?" Konohamaru demanded, his fists curled in front of him. He furiously rubbed his eyes with his forearm, glared at the man in black. "Did Naruto-oniichan send a bunshin in place of him? Did he even _know?_ What are you doing here?!"

The man grimaced. "It's still me, Kono—"

"You're just a _bunshin_, stop it!" Konohamaru yelled. "Stop insisting it's still you, _you know what you are and you're not fooling us anymore!_"

All remaining color drained out of the shocked, whiskered face.

"… I guess you're right." The bunshin gave a short laugh, and Sasuke ignored the pain that throbbed in his heart at the attempt of a smile. "When you've been alive for a long time—you tend to be confused sometimes. Tend to wanna be the real thing too, y'know?" He bit his bottom lip, breaking the little curve of his mouth. "I remember his every memory and thought, and when I disappear he'll remember mine. He'll also know that every moment I spent with all of you, I wished I was him. His love for you all—I feel it deeply too."

"Bunshin—oniichan…"

The blond head tilted to the right. "All the things we did, they'd what he'd do with you. It's all real, Konohamaru, even if I'm just a clone. And I am _his_ clone—body, mind, heart, will—all reflections of the original, so I also know he'd wish you'd talk to me the way you do with him, like how _we_ did before—so call me _Naruto_, 'kay?" He looked around. "It's selfish, I know, and I'm making things hard for you but—please?"

Tsunade sighed. She made to retrieve her chair—still intact, surprisingly, it _was_ made for a Hokage after all—but Iruka beat her to it. She acknowledged the gesture with another nod as he placed it behind her split table before settling down herself. "Fair enough—_Naruto_. But we are selfish too, we want _our_ Naruto back."

"I know," came the simple answer. "There's nowhere he'd rather be than here."

"So why isn't he?" Iruka asked. "Why are you here instead of him? Naruto," he pleaded, "what's going on? Why does he have to lead us on, where is he right now?"

Naruto shook his head, visibly distressed. "Iruka-sensei…"

"Don't wait until we find him," Tsunade warned. "ANBU are on the trail as we speak."

He blanched. "Baa-chan?"

"You failed to evade _Shinransen no Jutsu_, but do you know you failed another?" Tsunade asked, then continued without waiting for an answer. "_Shinransen_ was a diversion. The true attack was a genjutsu, one of the specialties of Yamanaka Ichizoku—_Shibirekan_."

She smiled, pride in her kunoichi ringing in her voice. "_Bliss._ It blinds your common sense, gives a false sense of comfort—bestows blissful ignorance of any hint of danger. Very useful in battle with enough time and chakra—it forces an enemy to stay despite clear disadvantage as long as the user is around to cloud his survival instincts, except it drains the chakra of the user too. Sasuke should know this, he experienced its effect so soon after it activated." The smile dipped, tinging with malice. "11h09m58 _Yama_ casts _Shibirekan no Jutsu_. 11h10m23 _Uchiwa_ holds the target's hand."

Sasuke scowled. That explained _why _he didn't leave, but it didn't explain _how_ he could be such an _idiot_ to miss that with the ribbons of lightning and the dancing with flames and the sun in his fingertips—

He inwardly cursed.

Naruto had no qualms about holding his thoughts back. "Stupid fucking genjutsu. Stupid fucking _Ino_—_"_

"Naruto!" Iruka exclaimed.

"What?!" Naruto snapped, irritable. "That's how she got pregnant anyway!"

"That didn't stop her from finding your general location," Iruka retorted, displeasure threading through his voice. "And now she's recovering in the hospital," he added.

Sakura looked up, eyes wide with the dawning of understanding. "So that's why she wasn't there," she murmured to herself.

Naruto, meanwhile, instinctively cowered—ten years and still, clone or not, Naruto responded to Iruka's disapproval like a child who had disappointed his father. "It's why I didn't fight her," he mumbled in a beaten tone, "That's my godchild she's carrying, I won't do anything to hurt her. Turns out she'd use that to her advantage, the _cheater,_" he muttered.

"You stayed long enough for everyone on the team to do their part," Tsunade continued, picking up the mission report and skimming with alert eyes. "Long enough to piece the real Naruto's general location. So." She looked up. "Why are you here and why is Naruto northwest of Konoha?"

Tsunade smirked at Naruto's flinch. She waited expectantly and the latter shook his head. "You wouldn't wanna know," he answered quietly.

"Oh, but I do," Tsunade smoothly rejoined. "So far I have been going upon your reactions—and you are proving to be _very _revealing." Her head tilted to the open scroll, a ponytail sliding down her shoulder. "Shikamaru calculated their intelligence as 50% bullshit. For all the evidence and testimony from the interviewed witnesses, they weren't enough to prove you _are_ a bunshin, especially with your unnatural endurance. They—us—have simply been going by intuition."

Naruto began spouting curses like a busted pipe—Tsunade blithely ignored him, bowing her head in acknowledgement of her fellow leader in the room who had been silently observing the drama he had started. "Kazekage-dono arrived in time to add his own testimony and confront you, which paved the way to your own confession. Sasuke deserves to be acknowledged as well."

Sasuke couldn't care less about his part in this travesty.

Tsunade wasn't done, smirking. "That they found Naruto's general location is another speculation—on the part of Hyuuga Neji and Hyuuga Hinata. So Naruto, thank you."

An uneasy silence settled.

"You're a real gambler, na, Baa-chan," Naruto finally commented. "But even at top speed, the ANBU would take a day to get there." Dark amusement tipped his lips up. "Just enough time."

Sasuke felt a chill go up his spine.

"What do you mean?" Iruka asked slowly, unease clear, "_Just enough time_—what do you mean?"

Tsunade's eyes were narrow, assessing, voice deceptively soft as she propped her chin up with her palm. "What is Naruto up to? Why does a day—_this_ day—suffice?"

Sakura was thoughtful. "This is the fourth day you've been here—four days too long for any bunshin. But—" she looked up, pink eyebrows furrowed, "—you've been alive for more days than that, ne? You have to journey to the village too, unless—unless Naruto created you outside the gates but that's unlikely, someone would have noticed, so it can't be within the boundaries of Konoha either because Naruto would have been sensed already—which means you _did_ journey here and you've _been_ alive for more than four da—Wait."

Green eyes wide, she whipped to Sai. "You! The other day!"

Sasuke felt his eyes narrow, remembering what happened the other day inside this very room distinctly. The unwanted image of Sai carrying a slumbering Naruto on his back flashed briefly in his mind—a piggyback ride _like before_, the moron had asked, because he was _tired _after—

His own eyes widened.

_Three days_—

"—of nonstop travel." Sai tilted his head. "You've been alive for a week, then."

Iruka frowned. "What is Naruto up to that requires him a week to finish northwest?"

"And to try and fool us with a bunshin?" Konohamaru added.

Naruto's head was bowed, expression unseen by the people in the room—his answer a clear silence. With characteristic pleasantness, Kakashi ventured to speak, voicing out the question that had been lurking unacknowledged at the back of their minds.

"Is Naruto in danger?"

After an an eternity of minutes, Naruto shifted.

"Gaara," he called out. "Are you sure?"

Finally moved to speak anew, Gaara returned with his own question, "Is this why Naruto requested I come to Konoha, seven months ago?" When Naruto didn't answer, he went on. "Then I can't help you. I will not be a party to his idiocy."

"You promised…"

Expression unchanged, Gaara shrugged—it was apparent, however, with the curling of his hands, that the two words had affected him. "I promised to come. Naruto never said what he needs my help for so I never promised I would."

"Fine. Okay." Naruto sighed, seemingly resigning himself, then turned to the rest. "In a minute," he started, "you'll hear something from outside. Loud."

On cue came an explosion, its force strong enough to knock the remaining scrolls of Konoha's sigil off the wall.

"Gate guards will immediately go to the site and find an encoded message for the Kazekage of Suna," he continued. His voice had settled into a low drone, as if reciting an answer memorized a lot of times. "Someone from Intelligence would be summoned in seconds, decipher it in a few, then pass the top-secret information to ANBU. My kage bunshin would intercept it—"

The door banged open and Shizune ran in, anxious—and instinctively dodged the kunai and shuriken reflexively flung into her direction by ninja taken unawares. "Tsunade-sama, Tsunade-sama! Are you—_What in the world happened here?!_" she demanded, immediately sighting the cracks and holes on the walls, the cleaved desk—then, finding them inconsequential, dismissed the minor concerns with a furious shake of her head. "There's an explosion outside the village!"

"Maa, maa, Shizune," Tsunade waved her hand. "Naruto here is just telling us about it."

Shizune straightened up, dark eyes perplexed. "Naruto?"

"Aa," the man in question affirmed. He continued. "Gaara would learn that the message promises destruction to the village if he doesn't come out and surrender peacefully." He snorted. "It's a very cheesy threat, obviously done by an amateur, but Gaara would be a bit amused that he'd come out just to see for himself. His guards knew they won't be changing his mind, so they'd just shadow him and see what it's about too."

Gaara chuckled, seemingly in agreement. Naruto snorted. "Then I'd come along, see for myself too. You'd think we'd be fine on our own, Baa-chan—we're just boys out for fun, we'd come back soon. But you'd be waiting for a while."

Naruto turned to the newcomer with a small nod. With a nod of her own, Shizune poofed out.

Muted expressions of surprise sounded within. Even Sasuke blinked.

"Things would… happen. You'll find the real Shizune-neechan somewhere. Maybe a jounin will tell you that the message has been decoded and it was _nothing_—and it took the entire division the rest of the afternoon to break. Maybe an ANBU will, or Shizune-neechan herself, or maybe after Gaara's escorts have returned—he'd send them back, he just wants some manly alone time with yours truly, you know?" He chuckled mirthlessly before sobering once again. "The escorts would say there wasn't any threat. Who could threaten the two anyway, na?

"But you'll wait. Maybe form two tracking teams the earliest of next day to find us, lured out by the dud message of _nothing_. Maybe three, more, maybe even borrow ANBU while you're at it. You'll probably plot how to hit me when you find me, heh. Then—

"Then," he took a deep breath, and smiled, "you'll find Gaara."

When no more words were forthcoming—when Naruto remained smiling, and standing, and silent—Konohamaru spoke up, expecting more like the rest did. "_Then?_ What about Naruto-oniicha—Wait. Waitwait_wait!_—"

Face brightening, Konohamaru _grinned_.

"Naruto-oniichan would surprise us, na? This is just a—everything, this, _all of this_—just a prank, na, na? I'm right, aren't I?! A birthday prank, like _'Uzumaki-sama is back and he be stayin', bitches!'_ na, na?" He started chuckling, and laughing, sounding so disbelieving and impressed and damned _relieved_—"_Damn_, this is the most awesome yet! He even got me!"

With a gentleness no one thought could possibly hurt, Naruto shook his head. "No, Konohamaru," he said, smile fading into memory, "It's not a prank."

A pause, and then—

"Come _on!_" Konohamaru insisted, and laughed, and laughed until the notes dried up at the solemn expression. The grin on his face wobbled. "Come on, Oniichan…?"

"But if he's supposed to be alone then it means _you_ won't be there—and it means _Naruto_ would be coming back, na?" Iruka asked, picking up the slack confidently, firmly. "Na, Naruto?"

Naruto answered with regretful finality. "The teams would find Gaara, Iruka-sensei." Another deep breath. "Alone."

"Why alone?" asked Sakura. Her fists clenched when he didn't answer. "Why _alone?_"

"It would... depend on him," Naruto admitted. "Gaara would either say I went to Ame—or he'd say nothing at all."

"But you wouldn't be there. Would you?"

Naruto turned away.

"I noticed something earlier, Dickless," Sai commented, serenely phasing through the heightening tension. He waited until the man in question turned to his direction. "You never answered Kakashi-san's question. Why is that?"

"Sai…" Naruto's shoulders slumped forward.

The first note of unease entered the otherwise bland voice. "Naruto_ is_ in danger—isn't he?"

The atmosphere was getting heavier. Suffocating. Sasuke consciously evened his breathing, grasped at the cold comfort of logic as much as he could. He needed an anchor in this rising sea of anxiety—his mind was racing too furiously and he couldn't gather a coherent thought, couldn't capture a single thought to hold on to.

He bit down his tongue. The slight sting roused him.

_Naruto you fucking **idiot**—_

Seemingly coming to a decision, Naruto squared his shoulders. A deep breath and then he raised his head, craned his neck up just a little—

"Wha—?"

—and a gasp tore out of his mouth when grains of Gaara's sand, near-invisible on silver blind, curled up and dragged it down completely from his eyes.

Dark eyes widened as a collective gasp rose in the room.

As it fell, slowly, golden grains taking flight, Naruto stood stunned, eyes closed and mouth open as strands of sunlight slid down his shuttered eyes.

Sasuke felt his heart jump. Felt his eyes flare when the hitai'ate landed on tan neck in a whisper of cloth and metal.

_His eyes—_

Jerking awake from his shock of that unexpected split second, Naruto immediately reached behind him—

"Naruto!"

"What happened?!"

"Oniichan!"

"Gaki!"

—and choked on a scream as blood spurted out his mouth.

Slowly, one by one—rapidly, in quick succession—bruises appeared on a paling face and Naruto convulsed violently, seizing back and forth until he fell hard on his knees with a painful crash, hands clawing on the wall on the floor on his body on his arms and curling into himself until he lay on his side, shuddering sobs ripped mindlessly out of his throat as he heaved blood—_"You"_—and bile—"_suck"_—and air—_"Gaara"_—joining the crimson pooling his body from gashes deep and red and flashing beneath the tearing robe like the wrathful eyes of a vengeful god.

As a hole opened his chest with excruciating leisure, Naruto laughed wetly, a gurgling thick sound. "Sorry 'bout the floor, Baa-chan." He coughed, and swallowed, and they all knew without doubt that it tasted of metal. "Shoulda warned you, heh."

Sasuke watched, transfixed, as the hole rapidly filled with blood and _remembered._

_"Sa—"_

The hot viscous fluid.

_"—su—"_

The sharp splintering bones.

_"—ke…"_

The heated tender muscles.

_I hit him._

Everything was real.

_I hit him._

He had hit him.

_I hit him._

Sasuke had hit Naruto with his Chidori after all.

In a flurry of pink and green Sakura was on Naruto's side, healing palm hovering on the thrashing, breaking form. She stilled when he shook his head, her hand captured in his trembling own. "Maa, it's no use, Sakura-chan. You know that, na? You can't—heal a bunshin, it doesn't work that way—"

"Shut up." Sakura pulled out of his hold, tearful, "Shut up, baka!"

"The link is always—always one-way, even with Kurama bunshin. Don't waste your chakra, na?" he said hoarsely.

"Kurama… bunshin?

"Aa." Naruto raised his hand and coughed, ignoring the blood that came out, and forced himself to sit up against another spasm wracking his form. "Kurama bunshin, that's m-me. Kurama—is Kyuubi's name," he took a deep breath, "and—and he lends his chakra to Naruto's kage bunshin to make me. I last longer that way, much more solid, tough." He puffed out his chest, the strain apparent despite his best, "It's been seven days since I was made. The longest I lasted was three mon—"

A coughing fit cut him off and he grabbed onto his arms as he seized once again. Blood streamed down his nose, his ears—red slowly soaking the long strands of his hair, matting them down and dripping to his cheeks. The copper smell was getting stronger and then—

Burning. The smell of burning.

"Sorry. Didn't get the chance to heal," he said with an apologetic grin, "Seems not sleeping didn't do me favors—"

_"He acts normal but I could see that he's tired. His responses are seconds off and he's trying to hide his shaking."_

"You've been awake... all this time?" Sakura gasped out, horrified.

_"He's weak, Sasuke-kun, weak from lack of sleep. I don't think he's getting enough rest."_

Naruto gave a wry chuckle, which turned to a groan as he reflexively grabbed his midsection. "It's not—natural for a bunshin to—to exist this long, n-na?" he wheezed out, "Especially after—after _this._" He gestured shakily at himself, and took a shuddering breath, "Turns out I need t-to eat too, and—and sleep, and the first is all I can do—"

"What happened?!" Iruka repeated, demanding an explanation. "Who did this to you?!"

Naruto grinned, showing blood-stained canines which he attempted to swipe off his tongue. "Anou sa, I got in a—in a fight with Pain—"

"And you didn't think to inform me about this?" Tsunade interrupted lowly.

He weakly waved a hand, the action doing less to diminish the cockiness of his grin. "Well it wasn't—_that _big a deal, I _kinda_ kicked his ass—"

_"Not big a deal?!" _Iruka yelled.

"Just—lemme finish and—" he clutched his head, swallowed a groan he had let out half-way, "Shit, head hurts… You're always—yelling, Iruka-sensei—" he complained.

"What," Tsunade cut in, danger laced in her soft voice, "is going on and why didn't you inform me about this."

Naruto sighed and attempted to stand up—a visible tremor ran through his body and he almost fell back, if not for Sakura. With a muttered _'Thanks,'_ he leant on a wall, grains of sand separating to allow him a breath of fresh air from the open window.

He steeled himself with a deep breath and, as if seeking comfort, reached a hand up to clutch the hitai'ate above his throat.

"Pain—found me," he started, voice rough. His hand tightened on the metal to stave off a cough and he continued, speaking faster. "Kinda pissed and took it out on me. Naruto, rather. The real one." He smirked—which turned into a grimace when he shook almost viciously. "He was—was kinda b-banged up when he made me and upped and left, so—" he gestured at himself, letting everyone see the conclusion for themselves.

"Took a while for Pain to calm a bit and he landed a couple more hits before he did then—then we had this heart to heart shit and he threw his offer—" He waved his hand a couple of times, as if impatient to finish, "I got here and—and I got into a couple of—of _spars_—"

Panting for breath, Naruto slid down to sit by the wall, covering his head with his arms as he convulsed anew. Sasuke could do nothing but watch with fists clenched in helpless silence, icy fingers of fear squeezing his chest. A bunshin, a _Kurama bunshin_—this wasn't Naruto before them but still—_still_—

His nails dug in his palms. It wasn't much of a comfort but at least—at least this wasn't the real _Naruto_ in front of him, crouched on the floor and bleeding and _breaking_—

Sasuke swallowed.

And _dying_—

He forcibly unclenched his hands.

But when this—this _Naruto_ in front of them _dies_—

_"—he lends his chakra to Naruto's kage bunshin to make me—"_

_No. _

All that—_pain_—and _torment_—

_Nono**no—**_

His eyes dilated.

_Chidori**—**_

"Where is he then?" Sasuke asked, coldly, surprising himself with the evenness of his voice as inside him he shook with panic and fear that Naruto would misunderstand, think Sasuke wanted him _dead _think Sasuke hated him _after all— _"He _upped and left_ to where and why did you come here instead of him?"

With a last shuddering breath Naruto raised his head, lightly hitting the wall behind him. He licked a smear of blood off his lips and Sasuke despised himself for noticing. "Must be the last of it," Naruto muttered, before clearing his throat and turning to him with eyes steadfastly shut. "He can't come 'coz he's sleeping," he rasped out, and cleared his throat once more before swallowing audibly. "Deep sleep somewhere—I dunno the place myself," he confessed. "But don't worry 'bout it, na? As long as I'm up and kicking, it means he can sleep no problem," he ended with a thumbs-up.

"Deep sleep," Kakashi repeated. "As long as you're up and kicking, he can sleep without a problem. So _you_ don't sleep—because _Naruto _does?"

"Aa." He grinned. "No rest for the meanie!—Or evil? Immoral, is that s'posed to be it—?"

"So if you sleep, he will wake up?" Kakashi asked promptly.

Naruto paused. He bit his torn lip in consternation.

"Naruto?" Iruka called out worriedly.

"It's—It's complicated," he replied with evident reluctance. "Just—the fact I'm here means he's better off sleeping where he is."

Sakura shook her head. "But—But he's in danger! How is sleeping better for him? And for—" her eyes widened, her hand covering her mouth in shock, "Naruto—has been sleeping for—for _seven days…_"

"Is that even possible?" Konohamaru muttered, uneasy. "That's like a coma already…"

"It's not possible," Tsunade growled. "Sleep of that length is either a symptom or an illness. Even _Nemuri no Jutsu_ doesn't induce a sleep like that." Her voice lowered, nearly a hiss with an edge of steel. "Explain well, brat. And then tell us how _you _don't know where_ he_ is because I'm not buying it for _one—damned—**second**._"

Naruto nodded reluctantly and straightened up—hissed when the sudden movement drew a fresh flow of blood from his body. "I need to be awake for him 'coz he _can't_ be for long. He's been sleeping on and off, see**_—_**"

He gritted his teeth for a few seconds, then sighed when the clear pain eased to a negligible level. "Wasn't anything serious, in the beginning," he continued, "He'd be sleeping an hour longer, then wake up to normal hours for a few days. Then sleeping again four hours longer, then five, six—he thought he was just tired, y'know?"

He sighed again. "Then he began sleeping in the middle of the day. Then three hours after waking up." He turned to Sakura with a little smile. "He thought he's just depressed, you said depressed people sleep a lot. Na, Sakura-chan?"

"U-Un."

"Then—he started to fall asleep in the middle of doing something, or while someone's talking to him. Once a group of bandits jumped him, and he was throwing around shuriken when he just—dropped. Good thing Kurama's fast, forced his hands to create me. It's just**_—_**getting worse, y'know? We thought it's**_—_**narco-something."

"Narcolepsy," Sakura said faintly.

Naruto nodded. "Yes, that. Then the hours became a day, then days. By the end of the first year he was sleeping for a week. Then—it became weeks, month. _Months._" He expelled a rush of breath. "The longest sleep was**_—_**three months and two weeks. Around the time he's sleeping for a whole day, he'd just—_know._ When he knew he'd fall asleep, he'd pop me out and I'd make sure nothing happened to him.

"That's our arrangement in the beginning, until something happened." A grim frown settled upon his mouth. "He… _needs_ me. If a part of him is not awake—a part of him, _me_—or if he's sleeping and I canceled myself or—or I got knocked out or I've ran out of chakra to sustain my existence—he'd be forced into a deeper sleep and even Kurama can't do jack shit about it. It was his friend who—who figured out how to wake him. She became an anchor when Naruto didn't feel**_—_**_real_—feel _human_—anymore..."

_"—and I am **human**, **again**—and maybe it's pathetic but that **whore**—**Michiru**—is precious to me—"_

"Why didn't he say anything in his letters?" Sakura choked out, eyes the bright dew of spring. "Since when was this?"

Naruto swallowed. "I'm—I'm so—"

"_Since when?!_"

Naruto flinched and bowed down. "The second sealing."

Kakashi inhaled sharply. "The second sealing—in the hospital?" Naruto gave a slow nod. "Ten years. This has been going on for ten years…"

Tsunade leaned forward, her fingers crushing the wood beneath her hands. "And Naruto never planned on letting us know of this, correct?" she stated calmly, the answer a foregone conclusion.

Face still averted, Naruto nodded.

Tsunade breathed deeply. "Because he doesn't want us to worry."

Another nod.

"Because he knows why."

And another.

"Because he discovered the solution."

Still another.

"Because he thinks—" the Hokage pushed out of her chair, "—he can use it to his advantage."

An almost imperceptible nod.

Tsunade was trembling with barely-leashed fury. "Three days you traveled, four days you're here fooling us all—for a total of seven days, _just enough time_—" She straightened up, "Naruto met Pain, _fought_ him—created you before _sleeping_—And _you_, in a _henge_ to divert our suspicions—"

She laughed out loud, grating and chilling and ringing with rage, "You made us all _believe_ you're doing it for _Sasuke, _to make sure he doesn't remember but he _did_, didn't he, it's clear as day to me—because this _henge_ wasn't for him, it's to conceal your own_ state_—

"You didn't lie to him, when you said you didn't know the _place,_ but you didn't tell the whole truth either—_because you know where Naruto is._ There could only be one place where he is right now. Where he is better off sleeping if he could as you existed for him**_—_**awake and smiling, the perfect diversion**_—_**you've been a diversion all along**_—_**"

Her smile reminded Sasuke why she was leader of the most powerful shinobi village.

"—ne, gaki."

And the tears in her eyes reminded why she stayed to lead at all.

But Sasuke didn't understand.

"Today," Gaara spoke up, voice dark and cold and a heavy weight on his mouth, "is the last day**_—_**isn't it?"

Sasuke didn't understand but that question struck home like a bolt of lightning from the sky.

Sakura shook her head, a grotesque parody of a smile on her widening lips. "You—_You can't possib_—you mean something _else_, n-ne? That-That idiot's probably hiding somewhere right now, l-laughing his ass off at our—our paranoid talking—and he'd get the beating of a l-lifetime, believe it! So!" She clapped her hands and took a deep breath, throwing her head back with a bright beam to light the night. "Kakashi-sensei! Let's find that moron!"

_Last day of what?_

It intensified his anxiety, that pathetic attempt. Even a blind man could see that Sakura was falling apart.

_What's going on?_

Sasuke could feel a shaking within him. Something was pulling at his stomach, at his chest, at the back of his mind. Something telling him to listen. To cover his ears. To open his eyes. To close them.

Kakashi was unmoving.

_Ask._

Sakura's smile flickered. "Sen… sei?"

_Don't._

"You can't even fake a smile now, Sakura," Sai remarked. Sasuke turned to him, and frowned in confusion at the clenched fists, the curved mouth—

_There's nothing to know._

"But I understand, I'm finding it hard as well."

—the closed eyes flowing with silent tears.

_It won't hurt if you don't know._

He didn't want to know. Sasuke only knew that whatever it was—something within him didn't want to know.

_It won't hurt if you do._

But this was Naruto.

_There's everything to know._

And he needed to.

_It's the only way to find him._

"Hey, what's with you, g-guys?" Konohamaru asked unsteadily. "This isn't funny at—Iruka-sensei, why—"

"Tsunade-sama?" Iruka pleaded. The Hokage shook her head and his voice broke, "Kakashi-san?"

"Dobe."

The bowed man stiffened.

"What's going on."

It was the silence of a land laid to waste by a storm.

"**_Naruto!_**"

"Extraction."

He blinked. "What—"

"Today—is the last day of extraction."

Sasuke felt heat sting behind his eyes.

_I told you not to ask._

"Naruto... is with Akatsuki?"

_But you never ever listen, na?_

"… Yes."


	32. Chapter 28

**A/N: **My body declared war and I had a general breakdown of functions. I can only say I'm sorry but I know it is not enough, I'm disappointed in myself as well. I've been unwell for a long time and I resurfaced to realize there are fireworks going on behind me and the new year is nigh. And The Sky is still unfinished.

But.

Happy New Year, everyone. I wish you all a good health.

And thank you, Eye.G, for that lovely work of art. :)

_December 31, 2012_

* * *

**The Sky  
**

_by Hic Iacet Mori_

* * *

**Chapter 28**

_Look at what you did._

The admission sent the room in a flurry of movements.

_Are you happy now?_

"Oh fuck no you don't!" Naruto hollered.

A powerful blast of wind knocked everyone back, effectively stopping Kakashi, Iruka, Sai, and Sasuke from completing their _Shunshin_. On instinct Sasuke materialized in front of the Hokage, shielding her with his body, and raised his arms to cover his face, his eyes opening into red slits as he analyzed the chakra interspersed with the wind. Beside him was Sai, protecting the Hokage as well.

"No one leaves," Naruto panted, his left palm on the floor, his right hand wielding a blood-tipped kunai. "Don't even dare."

"You asshole!" Konohamaru yelled. "You're not gonna stop us!"

"Yeah?" Naruto raised his head and cracked a painful grin. His kunai whistled in the air and he spread his empty hands before him, opening himself with a mocking air. "Give it your best shot, _bozu._"

Konohamaru growled, immediately going through the handseals. "_Shunshin no Jut_s_u!_"

Naruto snorted when nothing happened. "Well?"

Konohamaru jerked in surprise. "What—" His eyes narrowed. "What did you do?!"

"I told you," Naruto repeated, swaying as he slowly stood up, baring his teeth. "_No. One. Leaves._"

"_Go to hell!_" Konohamaru cried out. "Naruto-oniichan is _dying_—"

"Naruto… is in extraction right now?" Sakura whispered.

Naruto faltered. Sasuke slowly turned to her. Sakura sounded like a child, so lost and confused, her gaze an unfocused green as soundless words came out of her mouth, her eyes trapped on a vision none could ever glimpse.

"Sakura-chan—"

In that moment she wasn't Sakura, successor to the hospital chief Shizune. Neither was she Sakura, apprentice to the Sannin Tsunade. She wasn't even the hardhitter who took down a battalion with a single punch.

_"We have a lot of catching up because **some idiot** decided to take ten years to climb down."_

She was Sakura, the girl who never stopped waiting.

_"But we reached the moon so it's all good, ne?"_

She raised her eyes and Sasuke had to look away—her eyes were so green and bright and _hoping_, always hoping, the way they always did even when she stopped waiting for him, the way they always did because there was someone else to wait for, someone important, someone kind, someone more precious than he could ever be—

"He c-can't be, that's not—that's not true—"

Sasuke hurt for her.

"T-That baka—" Sakura abruptly whirled around, pink hair flying behind her as she made for the door. She took out her black gloves, tugging them on, "Always p-pranking—I'll teach him a—a lesson he'll n-never forget—"

"You're feeling his pain."

Sakura stiffened.

"The pain of bijuu extraction—you feel it, don't you? What is happening to you is because of it, na?" Sai asked, voice ringing clear and strong with an emptiness that would never go away. Beside him, Sasuke bore witness to the drying tracks of his tears—and the scream he let out in silence by biting on his bottom lip until it bled.

Naruto swallowed convulsively. "How—did you—"

"He's in the middle of extraction all this time and—even if he sleeps—"

"Shut up, _baka!_" Sakura snarled, pivoting swiftly to appear in front of Sai, yanking him by the collar and shaking him furiously. "He's no—"

"—the fact that you feel his pain," Sai continued, unperturbed, as tears gathered in the corner of his eyes once again, "means he's feeling it too."

Sakura's hold laxed. "Sai…"

"And if I, by knowledge alone, is in much pain already—" Sai tilted his head, "—how much more does it hurt you, feeling a shadow of his? How much more does it hurt Naruto, feeling it all while he sleeps?"

Sakura released him and swiftly took off her gloves, throwing them carelessly behind her. Her medic instinct had kicked in—the instinct to nurture, to soothe—and she raised her hands to the pale cheeks, drying them as much as she could. "I'm sorry, I'm sorry," she murmured almost silently, practically mouthed the words, and gently pressing her thumbs down to wipe the tears beneath his eyes. "I'm sorry, I shouldn't have forced you to say those things..."

"I'm catching all I can," Naruto murmured, blind to the plight of his closest friends. Sasuke felt his breath stop at the quiet admission—_how much more—_beside him Sakura wavered in her ministration—_when does this end—_and Sai's eyes narrowed, forehead pinching in pain even his facial apathy couldn't hide. "Don't worry too much, he's in too deep to feel a thing," he added, turning to each stricken face as if he could see them all behind his eyelids—_what is wrong with you—_attempting to encourage with his most assuring smile, "I'm doing my best—"

Sai opened his mouth, uttered the despairing thought that had crossed Sasuke's mind, "But he'll feel them all when you disappear, you're still a kage bunshin."

_Why would you hurt yourself like this?_

"Yeah," Naruto admitted, "and we're actually… gunning on that…"

_No._

Air caught in Sasuke's throat.

_Shut up you don't mean that quit lying_—

"Because it's the only way he could think of that wouldn't push him in a deeper sleep," Kakashi finally spoke, his voice roughened by emotion. His fists tightened, the sound of clenching a warning. "That's very idiotic of you—of _Naruto—_"

_Why would you hurt us this much?_

Naruto jerked back with a wounded expression. "Kakashi-sensei…!"

_What is **wrong** with you?!_

"It's pain, isn't it," Iruka suddenly said, brown eyes electric at this discovery. "What your friend discovered. Pain wakes Naruto up. Not physical pain, at least not this—this magnitude. Emotional pain. Na, Naruto?"

Naruto gave a small nod.

"Naruto has—always been attuned to other people's pain," Iruka murmured, "It's what woke him up before, when you disappeared before the right time. The pain his friend felt—the pain of losing _him_—it's _that_ pain that woke him up. His anchor wasn't so much your friend as his... empathy.

"Naruto responds to pain. Always. He can't help it, it's why he would always try. Would never give up. But with—" he swallowed audibly, his brows furrowing as his eyes clenched shut, "—with him—in _extraction_—there's no one to feel—feel pain for him, no one's pain he could wake up to—to answer—to try and make _better_— So he'll use the pain his clone is bearing, use _his own pain_—_"_

Naruto gasped in surprise at strong hands suddenly clamped down his shoulders, the owner of these shaking hands before him seething with a fury no student would dream to see.

"I'm in pain right now," Iruka hissed, his hold becoming tighter, threatening to bury. Sasuke was reminded that Umino Iruka was no mere teacher with a gentle gaze and tender words—Umino Iruka was a teacher who taught students how to kill. "Do you feel it? This pain from the thought of losing you, Naruto?! Open your eyes and see for yourself, see what you're doing to us!"

Naruto shook his head. "Iruka-sen—"

Even Sasuke flinched at Iruka's bellow. "Naruto!"

"What do you want me to say?" Naruto replied, frustrated. "_Do?!_"

"Cancel the damned jutsu and let us find him!" Iruka yelled.

"I _can't!_ Okay?" Naruto raised broken fingers as if to rub down his face, dislodging the bloodless hands that held him forcefully in place. "You're not gonna reach him on time and even if you _do_, there's nothing you _can_ do! _What else is there to?_ Coming after him like this, you might as well kill hi—_Sensei!_" he squawked.

"Look into my eyes and say it to my face," Iruka ordered lowly. He yanked Naruto forward, their faces inches from each other. Their noses almost touching.

"Say it to my face," Iruka repeated, a sibilant command. "I dare you."

"Iruka," Naruto pleaded. "Tou—Tousan."

It wasn't enough. "Tell me I'm killing Naruto."

"_You're not!_ It was a—a stupid thing to say! Look," Naruto's voice was edged with a desperation for understanding. "I get it, okay? _I get it. _But there's nothing else to do, it was Naruto's choice—"

A humorless chuckle reverberated in the room.

Sasuke glanced behind him. The Hokage's rouged lips were tilted up a notch—it was the drunken mocking smile she hardly ever wore anymore. "Naruto's choice," she repeated. "This agreement with Pain, to sacrifice himself for Konoha—Naruto's choice. A poor choice, ne?"

Naruto tensed.

Sasuke automatically moved to the side as she strode past them, her arms crossing over her chest as she leaned before her desk. "Ten years _is_ a long time, but I didn't realize it would be enough time to forget Akatsuki's reason for capturing the bijuu—or that it would be long enough to forget the Moon Eye Plan that will put the whole world into Tobi's dream world." Her smile was unrepentantly mirthless, "Which would include Konoha, being part of the whole world Naruto seemed to have forgotten."

Naruto growled at her implication.

"Pain must have intercepted Naruto on his way here," she mused aloud, ignoring him. "I don't understand something, though. If, as you said, Naruto was winning, why would he need to make that choice? Unless you're lying, which I'm more inclined to believe—you're here to make sure we're blissfully ignorant of what's happening to him after all."

She cupped her chin with a thoughtful mien. "But we _know _now—and you don't want us to come after him. You tell us you're _catching all the pain_ you can so when you disappear, _every pain_ returns to him at once—to _what?_ Wake him up in time to draw _his last breath? _No," she looked down, her jaws tight, light yellow fringes whipping her cheeks, "this can't be there is to it. There's more to this. There must be."

Her voice lowered, almost a whisper, eyes resolute, brighter. "There _must _be."

In the sorrow of a second that shrouded the whole room, Kakashi's terse question cut the silence like a scream. "Is this how he follows in his father's footsteps?"

_"Bet you and Ero-jiji been hassling my old man up there. Be nicer to him! He died for everyone so cut him some slack. I'm going to be like him, y'know."_

Naruto's breath hitched.

"Wilfully put his life on the line to buy Konoha a little time—at the expense of the _world?_"

_"We're going to be like him."_

Naruto made a sound of protest. "It's not lik—"

But Kakashi was relentless, the gray of his eye a storm of ash. "Tell us, Naruto," quietly, gently, the snow fall of dust, "how his sacrifice will save us all."

There was no peace in the silence that followed Kakashi's words. It was jagged and piercing and loud, full of words left unsaid, of deeds left undone. In this fullness Sasuke felt a uselessness so demoralizing he felt sick—one of the most powerful the world had ever seen and here he was, paralyzed in a room that fell victim to the caprices of its occupants, watching and listening and raging in his mind and heart, raging in his most secret places that once were known to him. Too powerless to do a thing with questions that kept rising, too weak to seek answers that were nowhere in sight.

How was he an ANBU? A shinobi in his prime, what was his power for? What was his strength for?

What had been his hard work the past ten years for?

_So useless…_

In every breath Sasuke took Naruto was losing his—but they could do nothing, trapped in a shield of the clone of his best friend's making, contained like hapless prey as he died in the most painful way—

_"To me you have become_—_"_

His most precious person—

_"—my closest friend, yeah."_

His _Naruto—_

"Naruto!"

Everyone was frozen—saved for Sasuke and Naruto, who jerked forward and spewed blood over Iruka's shoulder.

"Sasuke-kun!"

Sasuke couldn't see above the crackling white light.

"You're hurting him!"

Couldn't hear above the shrieks of a thousand restrained.

"_Teme!_"

Silence cleaved, abrupt and shrill. Sasuke's vision faded to normal when the brightness died a sudden death. Sight and hearing rushed back. He smelled the stench of fire and copper, felt the touch of feather and ice—

"… Dobe?"

—_Naruto_ grasping his wrist, assaulting all his senses—panting and pale and bloody, so bloody—halting his attempt at drilling a hole on the chakra-infused shield, straining with the effort of keeping that shield up to stop _Sasuke_ from saving—

"You," came quietly—a second's peace before the crash, soothing and sudden and over too soon—everything in him thrashing like a man beneath the sea, life fading and death looming in flashes of brilliant—

—_blue_.

A collective gasp rose and it was the burning rush of air.

"Your eyes!" Sakura cried out.

"Did Akatsuki do this?" Tsunade demanded.

"What the fuck," Konohamaru uttered weakly.

Iruka strode between them and pulled the broken man into his arms, setting the pale wrist to the chill of painful freedom. Head bowed, face unseen, his back against the rest, Iruka leaned up and enfolded Naruto in arms that remained closed to none.

Over shoulders shaking soundless Naruto stared down and blinked—sockets gaping, shuttering, flaps of flesh over void. Through the late afternoon sun flooding the room with light, they could see the hollowness where a mirage of blue lived and died rapidly fill with blood.

Konohamaru dropped on the floor, legs too weak to hold him up. Sai's eyes remained open as his tears flowed down, his arm around Sakura who had burrowed sobbing into his side. Kakashi's Sharingan was uncovered, a suspicious glaze within as his other eye blinked. Sasuke's own was wakened, rage and fire and grief.

Gaara's back was to the room, fists clenched on either side. Tsunade's head was bowed.

"It's not _that_ bad—"

Iruka's head whipped up. "Not that bad?!" he yelled hoarsely, fire and brimstone, pure condemnation, "_Fuck. You!_"

"Iruka-sensei!"

"No you **_don't_** _Iruka-sensei _me, you—you—" the fury stumbled, choked, overwhelmed by tears, "_Baka!_ Always getting into trouble! I shouldn't have let you _graduate_—You can't even _see _no—"

Naruto pulled back with an annoyed scowl, heedless of the blood now overflowing from gaping sockets. "I can see just _fine_, thank you," he groused. "And I'm seeing a bunch of melodramat—"

He yelped when Tsunade yanked him by the front of his robe again, almost crushing Iruka before unconsciously pushing the older man away. "Don't you make light of this, gaki," she warned in a soft voice. From the side Sasuke watched tears drip down her chin, mixing with the puddle of blood on the floor. "I've put up with your shit long enough and my patience has run out hours ago. Don't—" she gritted her teeth. "Don't!"

She grabbed him and wept.

"Baa-chan. Baa-chan, sorry," came the muffled apology. "Guys, sorry."

Tsunade shuddered, and nodded. "Good."

"And—anou—I might get blood on your—your boobs—"

"Gaki…!" Tsunade looked up. "Was this Akatsuki's doing?"

Naruto shook his head. "I didn't even know about this," he admitted. "I _did_ have an idea that something's wrong with my eyes but... maybe? I don't really see what's going on in the other side. I only get what Naruto has before creating me, and he still had his eyes last time I saw him before they fought. And I doubt Pain would gouge his eyes out, he doesn't seem the type."

Sasuke frowned. No, this wasn't Akatsuki. He didn't know why but he was sure of it.

He froze and looked up. Did Naruto just—

"I see now," Kakashi suddenly said. Naruto pulled back the same time the Hokage released him and turned to him with a perplexed frown. The mismatched eyes darkened with somber realization. "It was _not_ by accident when Pain found Naruto." He gave Iruka a meaningful glance. "Naruto planned to be caught all along."

"There was no offer," Iruka said slowly, brown eyes disbelieving "None at all. Naruto intended for Pain to catch him_—_by putting up a fight and getting himself captured for extraction." He shook his head. "He wasn't _winning. _He didn't plan to. That offer was just another cover-up, another distraction!" Accusing eyes turned to Naruto. "It's another lie and you didn't even know you just contradicted yourself."

Naruto winced.

Kakashi nodded. "And you're containing us here so none of us can come after him. ANBU on the trail, you don't mind much_—_but us? You don't want us there. Not with what's at stake in the last phase of his plan," Kakashi concluded. His jaw clenched. "A plan that involves dissolving yourself at the right moment to crash your memories of pain into his mind_—_pain extreme enough to wake him up."

"Is this true?" Tsunade asked softly. Naruto flinched when her voice rose sharply, "Is this _true?_"

"The extraction killed me," Gaara muttered, turning around to face him. The dried tracks on his face were glaring to Sharingan eyes. "I wouldn't have lived if not for Chiyo-obaasama. Why would Naruto choose to undergo the same? Does he believe he will live after, with no outside intervention?"

Naruto sighed and briefly closed his eyes. "The Akatsuki didn't die with Madara," he answered. "Not with—_Tobi_ still alive." He turned to Sasuke, shaking the latter to his very core with the hollow of his gaze. "Tobi and Madara—they're different people. The man you killed, Madara, was your ancestor. He's not the man behind the mask. Tobi is—is—" an apparent reluctance, "He's—another Uchiha."

"Another Uchiha?" Kakashi echoed.

Naruto nodded. "Aa. The Akatsuki was quiet for some time, we did a number on them too_—_but soon they're active again." His mouth thinned in disgust. "They set their eyes over the Western Seas. Tobi was_ experimenting_," he spat out, "trapping villages, cities of civilians in his fucked-up _genjutsu_. Wiping out entire _civilizations_. There were no shinobi over there, just people who want to get by, live a peaceful life." His voice lowered in pained intensity, "No one stood a chance.

"Then I started hearing stories. Men in black cloaks with red clouds, kidnapping people. Returning them after ransom is paid, dead or worse, _alive_ and—different. Nearly inhuman. An eye on a hand, liver outside the chest, beating heart on a forehead beside a baby's foot..." He chuckled darkly. "Apparently they have a member who thinks people could be fucking _reassembled_. Could be taken apart and _rebuilt_. Could be _eaten_ sometimes, returned chewed-up like a toy. Could be used as living explosives—could be _weapons_—

"Then there were people returned, whole in the body but in the mind... driven insane by the _glowing red moon_. Some vanished and reappeared, sucked off their chakra, kept alive long enough for their family to see them die for three hours..."

He stopped himself with a deep breath, calming himself forcibly, "And then—and then they got to B somehow and I know—" another deep breath, jostling the sockets that filled with thick blood once more, gritted his teeth, "—sooner or later, they'd be coming for Naruto again to complete that fucking dumb Moon Eye Plan or whatever stupid piece of rock they decided to use next. So we met them," he shot a feral grin, and he was the demon and it unsettled, sharp canines stained with blood from the windows of empty soul, "and he's taking them all down and all the bijuu with him."

Kakashi's eyes rounded. "Taking all the…"

The glee was inhuman. "Yup. Like a rubber band! And they agreed to help!"

"They?" Gaara asked, frowning. "The bijuu? Including—Shukaku?"

"Rubber band?" Tsunade repeated.

"Aa! Heard them last night! Does he always sound drunk? Kept giggling and playing with his balls, didn't think he'd be like that from the last time I met him. Y'know, when I headbutted the love out of you?" A light chuckle, "And rubber band, Baa-chan, like when you stretch it too much and it comes back at you and stings you stupid?"

Kakashi was rubbing his chin. "Kyuu—_Kurama _will be the rubber band, then? Stretched out to the point of breaking by the extraction?" he asked skeptically.

"Yup!"

"Aa," Gaara replied absentmindedly. "How did you hear them?"

Naruto laughed sheepishly, unconsciously scratching his blood-matted hair. The motion pushed his head an inch and blood dribbled down from his sockets again. "Accidentally fell asleep last night." He smiled at Sasuke, raised a mangled thumbs-up. "Good thing bastard's there to wake me."

Sasuke nearly recoiled. He had fallen asleep in Naruto's arms—his hair brushed back, his head tucked under a chin, assured and promised better dreams in a voice rough with sleep and soft with tenderness, held like a child dearly loved even now the ache was choking—jerked awake soon after by fear so thick he could _smell_ it, a tang in the air, of copper, of burning he could _taste _it in his skin in his clothes in his _lungs—_

"Oh yeah, I almost forgot something!" Naruto exclaimed.

_"You took them with you."_

Now he knew why.

_"Just like you took something from **him**..."_

Why he was sure it wasn't Akatsuki.

_"... and something from **me**."_

It was him.

Naruto reached inside the folds of his now-gaping robe, grabbing hold of an object hanging from his neck. With a forceful tug, Naruto held a small bottle of shining blue shards in his hand. He leaned closer to Tsunade and gently took her palm. "Naruto's really sorry he broke your necklace. Y'know Kurama was a downright bitch before, Baa-chan."

"Gaki…" Tsunade murmured thickly. She pushed the bottle back to his hand. "I told you, it's yours—"

He stopped her with an open palm. "But I'm not Naruto, remember?"

She gave a short chuckle. "Cheeky brat—" Tsunade paused, eyes fixed on his torso. "Is that—?"

Naruto looked down. "Huh? Oh." Parting his robe, he lifted up his shredded jacket, a black and orange affair similar to what Sasuke remembered. His visible stomach was distended and purple, with black rods embedded within to form a spiral formation. "Chakra receivers," he explained, albeit hesitantly. "We modified it, links Naruto's pain to me."

They were silenced for a beat.

"Naruto couldn't have just gotten hold of that, even in ten years—unless you and Pain... have been working together…" Tsunade trailed off.

"Aa." Before anyone could react to this astounding revelation, he raised a finger then immediately turned around, retching up blood. Everyone in the room winced, even the Kazekage, and nervous chuckles filled the room when Naruto burped.

"Ugh, 'scuse me. That was nasty. Anyway," Naruto wiped his mouth with a sleeve, now more amenable to talking—a step towards truth often swiftly turns into a run, "Dunno how he jumped back alive—he wouldn't tell me, the jerk, but he's been waiting to go back dead to be with his pals. Just wanted to stop all this bijuu business, y'know? So we started hanging out." He frowned. "Which is why I don't have a fucking clue why'd he stalk you guys. It wasn't in the plan and that's not cool." Still frowning, he shrugged. "Maybe he got impatient or something. I_ was_ kinda late."

Sakura shook her head, incredulous. "But he attacked Kakashi-sensei!"

Kakashi, an intensity in his eyes sans the usual veneer of charming apathy, shook his head. "It only escalated when I insisted on engaging him," he admitted, earning a glare of disbelief from the Hokage. "I just needed to recuperate from Kamui overuse."

Naruto, glaring down at his clothes, muttered, "Whatcha do, try to teleport him to hell or something?" He tried vainly to fix his robe, fussing at the blood and cursing when more dripped from his eyes. "I guess it's time," he added without thought.

"Well, if Naruto is working with Pain and—and all the bijuu—" the rising hope in Sakura's eyes was desperate, sickening, turning Sasuke's gut in on itself, as she stepped closer next to him, "Then that means he'll be back soon. Ne?"

Naruto bit his lip in consternation but Sakura plodded on, "You didn't want us to come after him because he—he wouldn't want us in the—the crossfire." She chuckled, nigh breathless, hope was what she breathed for, " The bijuu would all be—pissed off, ne?"

When Naruto closed his eyes, Sakura faltered and she looked ready to shatter. "You're not—even sure it would work, are you?" she whispered, shrill in the accusing silence.

Kakashi was slow and measured, the clock marching on. "Even an Uzumaki won't survive as container of all bijuu in separate forms—especially after an extraction. Na, Naruto."

Sasuke had known it all along but he'd been blind for too long—

_No, you damned moron _—

—even with eyes finally open it took a while to see.

_Don't you fucking dare_—

After an indeterminate length of time, Naruto nodded.

Sasuke shriveled inside.

"I hate you," Sakura hissed. Tears fell down her eyes with more swiftly taking the place of the ones she lost in a haze of betrayal. "Why did you come here at all if Naruto doesn't plan to return?!"

"You weren't supposed to know—"

"And that makes it _better?!_" she screamed. "Did you think we wouldn't suffer if we thought Akatsuki kidnapped him after falling for a stupid _message?_ That we'd be okay thinking that we _failed_ to save _him?!_" She brought her hands to her face, almost in hysterics. "Why did you come here at _all_—"

"Because I made a promise to Sakura-chan," Naruto replied softly. "And I never break my promises, that's my nindo."

Sakura whipped up, furious, "_Naruto_ promised me—!"

"No," he corrected, gently. "The Naruto who left Konoha, ten years ago, was already a Kurama bunshin. That Naruto—was me."

"Already—" her eyes widened.

"And clone or not, fake or real, Naruto is Naruto," he said with a smile, tender and warming and human, always human, "Naruto will always deliver on his promise to Sakura-chan." He lifted a broken hand, tenderly wiping a tear that streaked down her quivering lips. "Naruto will always come back for you. Even if it's just a clone. Even for the last time."

Somewhere within his soul Sasuke felt something break.

"So smile, okay? All of you." Naruto looked around, the eyes none for any to see taking them all in. "His favorite memories are where all of you smile—and your smiles, he'll need them soon."

Sakura's voice shook. "Soon?"

Reaching behind him, ignoring the grotesque sound of popping bones, Naruto produced a scroll and opened it, revealing the kanji of man in the center surrounded by a seal. With a flutter it landed among pools of his blood, and he planted a palm firmly on the center.

_"Gyaku Kuchiyose no Jutsu!"_

A kage bunshin appeared, meditation unbroken. Sage mode, Sasuke realized by the prominent pigmentation around the eyes.

His heart jumped. He had seen Naruto like this before. _Fought_ him like this before and left him nearly—

He nearly swayed where he stood as he felt himself break some more.

Sasuke internally shook his head—now was not the time to lose himself to a memory. This kage bunshin, this _sennin_, had been gathering natural energy for quite some time—so was the other one that appeared from another scroll. He didn't know for how long, just knew it must be long enough for both sennin to radiate so much _power_ without even unveiling their chakra. But why did Naruto's Kurama bunshin summoned them?

Naruto leaned towards the first, almost in a crouch. Their faces were almost inches to each other before the first sennin exploded in a puff of smoke. Sharingan alert, Sasuke caught the chakra within the smoke disperse into the hitai'ate hanging barely around Naruto's neck. The same thing happened with the second sennin.

It was all done quickly, almost over in a blink. What was he planning?

With a wide, disarming smile Naruto looked up and blew Sasuke's thoughts away.

"I tried to pick up girls as sennin once," Naruto confided in a stage whisper, a juvenile giggle threatening to erupt in every word. "Didn't work, they keep pointing out my weird _eye shadow_. And my _contacts_ look weird too, _'Why do you have to pick a pair of froggy eyes, Clueless-kun? Frogs are icky and they look dumb with your whiskers, sorry! But you can still buy me a drink.'_" He grinned. "A girl asked me to lick her, though."

He snickered at his last statement before lighting up, "And some guys liked it, said I look wicked! There's even this dude—cool dude, had this tattoo of a huge freaking _dragon_ on his arm all the way to his _back_—who asked if I could extend my tongue like a real frog, said a long wet tongue would give me _entrance_ to him any time. Loaded too! And really generous, kept giving me free sake, a good new friend. We drank all night, him and me—even offered to let me crash on his place 'coz it got so late. Plus it started howling outside. Such a chill dude. Told him I'd take him on his offer if I ever pass by Kusa again."

Iruka was clearly both aghast and amused that Naruto would treat his sennin mode so casually. He hit his head with his palm, his mouth twitching between a frown and a grin. "Baka. Jiraiya-sama would be rollin—" he cut himself abruptly. Iruka shook his head, deadpan. "No, he won't. He would be—_proud._"

Someone snorted. Sasuke didn't know who it was, he himself couldn't find anything amusing with the anecdote at all.

Apparently, though, someone did. And apparently, that was enough.

The room erupted into laughter. Kakashi was outright giggling, cheeks flushed, Sakura's face red with a hand cupped over her mouth as she tittered helplessly. Iruka was still shaking his head, a resigned grin on his face as he chuckled along, supporting Konohamaru who was almost mute in his laughter as he slapped on his thighs, gasping for breath. Tsunade was trying to be admonishing, equally appalled at such low regard for sennin mode, but her eyes danced with hilarity and her lips kept trembling with an ill-concealed smile, ruining the effect. Gaara was no less immune, his shoulders shaking as light snickers escaped his mouth.

It was Sai, hands wrapped around his middle as he hiccuped, fresh tears squeezing out of his eyes, who found the strength to speak. "Dickless," he choked out, pausing for breath as he wiped at the corners of his eyes with a laugh-trembled fist, "I believe it is my duty to advise you, as a friend, to never pass through Kusa again."

"Or I can come with you," Kakashi quipped, still chuckling. "As your sensei, I will shoulder the burden of protecting your innocence," he intoned quite dramatically, the effect ruined by the pink staining the bridge of his nose.

"Forgive me as I attempt to rectify my world view and fail," Iruka commented dryly, shooting the other man a narrow-eyed smile. Kakashi's eyes curved in return.

"Protecting my what?" asked a confused Naruto.

Sakura was almost squealing now.

"Perhaps the man assumed Dickless is a woman," Sai remarked, attempting to explain the reason for the absent man's invitation.

"I can see where'd that come from," Konohamaru agreed, nodding with a smirk. "The hair's bad enough."

"Oi! He knew I'm a guy, we went to the same restroom!" Naruto protested hotly. "Pee-mates, even!"

"P-Pee-mates?" Sakura choked out before dissolving into another fit of giggles. "I—I can't—I c-c-_can't_—"

Tsunade was now slouched forward, wheezing. Gaara's back was to the wall, undone by the tremors racking his body.

"And he said I'm biggest guy he's ever seen, Sai, so there!" Naruto threw in with a grin, daring him to say anything.

Sai dared. "You did say you were both drunk," he commented innocently.

The laughter was raucous as Naruto sputtered.

Teeth clenched, fists curled, Sasuke couldn't see what was funny.

"Asshole!"

He _did_ see, though, when his eyes returned to Naruto, a small contented smile—and, unbidden, his eyes softened and he felt his own mouth tilting at a corner.

And then he heard, almost whispered—

"There. Perfect."

—before torn arms came up, rewrapped the hitai'ate over empty eyes with a speed he hardly caught and every wound, every bruise, every tear, and every drop of blood vanished like they never existed at all.

Naruto grinned at the stunned silence that followed. He pointed to the metal. "Awesome, huh? I got the idea from your rhombus, Baa-chan! If a special chakra stored somewhere can henge an old woman to look young, hiding a few scratches should be a piece of cake!" he ended with a perfect thumbs-up.

Sakura's eyes showed the wonder they all felt at the transformation. "You've been storing chakra there all this time?"

At a nod of affirmation, her voice trembled. "Is it time?"

A collective gasp rose once again when Naruto raised his hands in a familiar seal.

"Yes."

Sakura shook her head. "No, you can't," she said thickly. "He's so selfish, always taking everything by himself—What if he's wrong? What if he needs us?"

"He always needs you all," Naruto replied. His voice softened. "Always needs you."

With a gut-wrenching sob Sakura flung herself to Naruto.

Sasuke suddenly can't hear a thing.

"What do you think, Sakura-chan?" Naruto's mouth moved, whispering in her ear. Everything was suddenly too sharp, too bright. "Uzumaki Sakura?"

Sakura stilled.

And Sasuke could hear again when she answered, soft and clear—

"It's not so bad."

"You know I love you, right?"

And Sasuke couldn't see when Sakura looked up, with an angel's smile—

"Thank you."

Naruto nodded and stepped back, his face alight with love.

Sasuke wanted to disappear.

"Gaki," Tsunade huffed out, her lips straining with the effort of holding a rouged smile. "All my bets won this morning so I'm going to take it as a sign that today is my lucky day." Her eyes sparkled as she grinned, confident of a hot streak. "I'm making another bet—the hero is coming back!" she declared.

Murmurs of agreement rose in the room—"Hero's coming back, Niichan!"—falling back to silence when Naruto raised his hands once again and flashed a brilliant smile. "It's been fun. You've all been amazing and I—_Naruto_—" his lips trembled, "you've always been the best of him."

Naruto grinned.

For one wild second Sasuke thought he saw blue.

"It's been fun."

Then his hands abruptly dropped and he vanished in a blur of gold.

"Son of a bitch!" Tsunade exclaimed.

"Hiraishin!" Kakashi ran to the window he saw the yellow light vanished to, Iruka and Konohamaru behind him. "The kunai—" Kakashi swore. "The kunai he threw earlier. I don't see it anywhere," he said grimly.

Iruka could be fluent in cursing. "The fuuton blew away Kazekage-sama's sands to clear the exit points. He trapped us here and freed himself!"

Kakashi frowned. "The chakra gathered by the two sennin—"

"—should have gone directly to Dickless," Sai continued. "Naruto intercepted it not just to recover his henge but to escape."

"But why?" Sakura asked. Her eyes widened. "He's not planning to dispel himself? But Naruto—!"

"No. Impossible," Kakashi answered. "He wasn't lying about that. But there's something else he didn't tell. Something more he needs to do before he returns to Naruto."

"Well if he thinks we're letting this happen without a fight, he has another thing coming," Tsunade growled. She canceled the silencing jutsu and swiftly opened empty scrolls, jotting with the fury of a golden hurricane. "Shizune! Summon the guards! I need to be in Ame an hour ago! Sai, send these messages. Animate the fastest birds you can, bring Sakura along with you. Kakashi, bring Iruka with you in Kamui. Konohamaru—assemble the ANBU and Oinin, here are the instructions. You will remain here in my stead, in Naruto's stead. Got it?"

"Hai!"

"And Sasuke—" Tsunade's eyes briefly closed. Her captain was already flying away.

"—do what you can."

* * *

Naruto was waiting when Sasuke launched himself from his hawk with a lightning-filled punch.

"Usuratonkachi!" Sasuke growled as the other dodged easily. His sight was clouding with rage amid a soul-crippling ache. What was he doing here? Why here, of all places?

Why the Valley of the End?

His fists curled with fresh lightning. Sasuke was furious, and confused, full of hate and fucking _hurting_ all over and his reasons for coming after Naruto had all but vanished into thin air.

_Why here? Why the fuck here?_

He lunged forward.

**_Why?!_**

"Your dreams," Naruto suddenly said.

Sasuke faltered and recovered quickly—Naruto jumped and twisted above him, landing right behind his back.

"What if they're not dreams?"

Sasuke swiftly turned around, his rage black on the edges, his hands white with blinding light. He didn't want to hear anything, the pain of knowing where they were and what it meant hurt too much and he couldn't control himself. "Shut up!"

"The sky you see every night—"

"I said _shut up!_"

"—what if they're illusions?"

Something roared inside him, enraged, clawed furiously inside his stomach. His head felt like splitting from the howls and cries within.

_"You know **not—**"_

"No one dreams the same thing, everyday, for ten years."

"_Shut up shut up **shut up—**_"

"What if the sky of ten years was an illusion?"

Sasuke shook his head there were screams it hurt so much he was bleeding he was dying—

_"_Nonono_no**no**__**—**__"_

He was _terrified._

"Genjutsu."

His breath shattered.

His dreams were all he had.

_"Stop lying!"_

Where he was alive.

"What if it's genjutsu?"

Where he was at peace.

"What if it's related—to Naruto's condition?"

Where everything was it should be.

"Will you cancel it?"

_My sky____**—**_

"You can't take them from me," Sasuke whispered.

"Teme_____**—**_"

Everything in him stilled and there was nothing but the sky.

"It's mine."


End file.
